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Jisung was fidgeting with the sleeves of his uniform. He was sitting on the backseat of the vehicle that was taking him and his unit to the Demilitarized Zone. It was his first time at the DMZ as a Second Lieutenant (소위-sowi) and to be honest he was feeling a little nervous.
Not like he was a bad soldier. Not at all. The exact opposite. He was considered young to have that title. But his title was new, and this was his first time leading a unit in the DMZ. Also his first time being the one who meets and talks to superior officers. It was only fair for him to be a little nervous.
Other than his fingers fiddling with the fabric there was no sign of his nervousness. He wore his usual stern and unreadable expression as he stared at the sunrise. It had been his best shield ever since he enlisted, or since he started school. Even he didn't know anymore.
What felt like ten minutes later the dark green jeep parked at the barracks. Jisung signaled to his unit to get out. The previous unit was already outside, standing across them and waiting for the guard change. Jisung stood at the front and saluted.
“We are taking over, comrades.” Jisung said after he lowered his hand. “This is Unit 143 and I am Comrade Han Jisung, Second Lieutenant.”
“Understood.” The other Senior Lieutenant, at least Jisung figured from the badges on his collars he was, nodded and they saluted one more time before both units walked away.
Jisung's unit headed towards the barracks to move in, if you can call it that, while Jisung went to the base. He had to meet and report to the Captain (대위-daewi) that they had successfully arrived to Border Guard Post 8. The building, and the whole area hadn't changed much in the past three years. Since Jisung last saw it when he was a recruit.
There was a bedroom for the higher-ranking soldiers in the base, in the same building as the guard tower, but most of the border guards spent the night in abandoned houses. Like Jisung himself and his whole unit. When Jisung first experienced it, it felt surreal. The fact that someone had lived a happy or not so happy life in those houses before the war.
He had never been to the Captain’s office though. The room looked just like any other at the military bases. One light bulb was hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the room, highlighting the table under it. There was also a regular desk in the corner next to the window.
The Captain was sitting at the desk, seemingly buried in some paperwork. The man only looked up when the door closed behind Jisung.
“Unit 143 has arrived as ordered, Comrade Captain.”
The man nodded then stood up from his desk. Jisung offered his hand first.
“Second Lieutenant Han Jisung.” He bowed politely as the Captain took his hand.
“Captain Lee Minho.”
As the man spoke, something twisted in Jisung's stomach. He was hit by a weird feeling out of nowhere. He felt the goosebumps on his nape. But he wouldn't say it was a bad feeling. It was more like what people called nostalgia. Or more like deja vu.
Or maybe it was just the fact that Captain Lee was indeed a very attractive person. His posture was rigid, and his physique was just how you'd imagine a good Captain to be. His features were sharp but his long lashes and a mole on his nose made him look somewhat gentle. His voice was also a little high-pitched. Overall Jisung found him pretty.
“I heard this is your first time leading a unit here, is that right?” The Captain asked.
“Yes, sir. This is my first time leading a unit as a Lieutenant in general.”
“You should go patrolling twice a day. Besides that, tomorrow we will have to explore an unchecked minefield nearby.”
“Understood, Comrade Captain.” They both saluted before Jisung left the office.
That night Jisung went to patrol with his unit. Everything went peacefully, and that allowed Jisung to think. He couldn't shake off that weird feeling in his gut about the Captain. He felt like he had seen him before. But that was impossible. If they had attended the same school he would have remembered such a pretty face like the Captain’s.
The next day, after their morning patrol, Jisung only had time for a quick lunch before he had to stock up again. They were going to explore the unchecked minefield. Jisung had reviewed a handbook about deactivating mines last night, even though he had done it countless times already. He always made sure his knowledge was up to date.
This time Captain Lee joined them too, leading the unit to the minefield. The man seemed to be a tough and composed person. Jisung could tell he was alert the whole way there.
They entered the minefield in pairs. Jisung knew his unit well, and he made the pairs by that. So in the end he was the one to go with the Captain.
That weird intuition was still nagging him whenever the Captain spoke. It was like his voice triggered something in the back of Jisung's mind. He swore he had heard it before.
They were walking around and counting the different kinds of landmines for hours. Every time Captain Lee spoke, it sent another strange tickle through Jisung's stomach.
They were currently walking along a small stream, Jisung was writing in a small notebook as Minho observed and counted the mines. Minho was talking fast, there were a lot of mines in the area, so Jisung had to write like a maniac. He was so focused on writing down Minho's every word, that he didn't notice the older man stop in front of him until he bumped into his back.
“Oh, I'm sorry Captain.” Jisung stumbled backwards.
“Lieutenant…” The Captain sighed. His posture seemed to become even more stern than before.
“Y-yes?” Jisung looked up at the man. It took a few seconds for him to realize. “Did you step on a landmine?” He asked, it was a theoretical question, because the situation was obvious and Jisung was already crouching down.
While he was working on the mine, the Captain spoke. “You've done this a lot before, right?” Despite the situation he sounded quite amused. Jisung just hummed, he was too focused on not blowing them up to speak.
He efficiently deactivated the landmine in a few minutes then they continued their way by the stream.
Jisung felt a hint of happiness because of the Captain’s admiration of his skills. He was so captured in the feeling that he didn't notice a big may-beetle flying towards him. It landed on the notebook in Jisung's hand. The Lieutenant let out a very masculine scream and threw the notebook. It fell right into the water.
As soon as he realized what he had done he rushed to grab the notebook again. It was all soaked, obviously. He tried to shake off the water, and he could feel the Captain’s piercing eyes on himself. On top of everything he could feel his face going red.
When he dared to look at the Captain he was frozen by the sight. The man was smiling with his eyes crinkling at the corners, clearly trying to suppress a bigger laugh.
Jisung's heart throbbed vividly in his chest. The sight pushed him right back 20 years into the past, and suddenly it was ‘96 again.
★
Jisung was wandering on the streets alone. It was night and he was just a six years old boy left without parents during the Arduous March. He was outside for days now, his face and whole body was dirty and covered in dust. But most of all, he was starving.
He was desperate to say the least. It was getting cold since the sun had disappeared from the sky. Jisung had never been a brave boy, so he was getting scared too. Especially when the electricity was gone again.
He almost cried when he spotted a makeshift shelter in a small alley. It was just a few sheets draped over some boxes, but it was a blessing for Jisung. He approached it hesitantly and when he made sure it was empty he crawled inside. He wrapped himself up in the blanket he found inside, sobbing quietly as the warmth spread through his small body.
He was woken by muffled sounds around him. Like people talking and walking around, and the sheets of the shelter moving. Jisung looked around to look for the origin of the latter.
He froze completely when he saw a boy around his age sitting across from him under the shelter. He was filthy too and he was looking at Jisung curiously with his bunny teeth peeking out. He looked harmless, but Jisung was still frightened. The boy had probably noticed that he woke up because he leaned closer to Jisung.
“Hi. Who are you?” The boy was leaning over Jisung slightly.
“I'm— I'm Jisung.” He stammered quietly.
“Hi Jisung. I'm Minho.” The boy -Minho- said, then turned around for a moment.
When he turned back to Jisung again, there was a persimmon in his hand. He was offering it to Jisung.
“For me?” Jisung stared at the fruit in awe, then looked at Minho who just nodded with a smile. Jisung found his bunny teeth cute.
He accepted the persimmon and started eating it immediately. When he looked up he saw Minho doing the same thing as well.
From that day, they became best friends, or even soulmates. Everything just came so naturally. Minho was two years older than Jisung. He told him that he was living in that makeshift shelter for months now, and he slowly taught Jisung the ins and outs of surviving on the streets.
“Right before sunrise, people start preparing their market stalls and soon after people start arriving. All we can do is gather the leftovers.” Minho explained.
They were huddled up in the shelter, both of them wrapped up in the same blanket. It was still dark and Minho was trying to explain everything to Jisung before they went outside.
“If you see food on the ground, take it quickly. Or you can ask for leftovers if you see any.” Jisung nodded along as Minho spoke.
The older one never really let him go to the marketplace before, so he was excited to finally help him.
Jisung turned out to be seriously bad at snatching food. He missed almost every opportunity. He stumbled, people pushed him accidentally or other kids were faster.
Minho stayed close all the time, but he still could get some vegetables and a piece of bread. By the end of the market they went back to their —now their— shelter.
Jisung was sobbing quietly while Minho fed him some of the bread. He was feeling useless, because all he could get was two persimmons. But Minho wiped his tears and the dirt off his face, as always.
“It'll go better next time, ‘kay?” Jisung could only nod while chewing on the bread.
“You got some persimmons, that's my favorite, so thank you!” Minho smiled, his bunny teeth showing in full force. Jisung sniffled but cracked a smile as he watched Minho eat the persimmon happily.
“I’ll get you one everyday!” Jisung raised his fist in determination, making Minho giggle.
“Thank you Sung!”
And from that morning, it became their own little ritual. Jisung got at least one persimmon for Minho everyday, then they ate it together. They were together all the time. Even after Jisung got better at getting food, they stayed together.
As they grew older, they did small works for people who gave them a meal in exchange. They packed goods in the morning when the market started, then also helped with cleaning after it was over. Or they went to help cut firewood for old people, or people who weren't able to do it for some reason.
By the time Jisung turned ten they had lived in multiple small towns, and people loved them everywhere. Maybe because Jisung was a bubbly young boy, always being kind and making jokes despite his situation. Minho was the more closed off one. At least with other people, because with Jisung, he was just as bubbly. Jisung knew he had always been kind hearted.
Even years after they met, their relationship hadn't changed a thing. They were really soulmates. Jisung was sure.
One day, when Jisung was around twelve years old, they were at an old couple’s house, cutting firewood. Jisung decided to take a short break and drink some water. While he did so, he watched Minho work. As he stared at the older one, his face focused, slightly filthy, and sweat dripping down from his chin, something pulled in his lower tummy, making his heart beat faster.
And from then, that feeling overcame him more and more often. It took him a few weeks to realize what he was feeling. Why did his heartbeat take up its pace whenever Minho smiled at him? And why was he always so nervous to give him a persimmon? Even though they didn't do it everyday, Jisung made sure to give him one at least once in a while. Only because it made Miho smile. And Jisung loved Minho's smile. And his bunny teeth. Especially his bunny teeth.
Even though he was aware of his feelings, he had never told Minho a word. If he did so, he would have lost his one and only friend. He was a boy, and boys like girls like that. But obviously, there was something wrong with Jisung. And that had to be a secret he kept forever.
He was happy to be next to Minho and make him smile, even if it hurt a little. He would do anything to keep him by his side. And safe. Because if anyone knew about how Jisung felt toward another man, that would have a bad influence on Minho too. And he could never let that happen.
From then that was how they lived. Nothing had really changed, only Jisung's feelings. But the younger one made sure to hide it. Still, there were days, when he was feeling a bit off, when he had enough of hiding, and on those days he couldn't help but was more clingy than usual. Maybe a bit more clingy than a friend would be. But Minho didn't seem to mind. He held Jisung, and tried to ask him what's going on, even if he knew Jisung would dismiss the question anyway.
He wanted to answer so badly. He wanted to say “I love you”, he wanted to say “You're my everything, my one and only soulmate”. He just wanted to confess. But he couldn't.
He tried to soothe that need by giving Minho the usual persimmons. He would spend hours trying to get the prettiest and most delicious one, then he would say he got lost so Minho didn't suspect anything. When he gave him the fruits, he never said big words, only smiled or mumbled “Eat well” quietly. But his inner monologue confessed his feelings every time.
It went like that for two years. Until one day, there was a house-to-house inspection in the village. They weren't scared or anything, it was the usual. They were yet again, cutting firewood for someone when the inspection team arrived at that house. Nothing unusual happened, until one of the soldiers approached the two boys.
“Identify yourselves.” The man said, looking at both of them. Jisung suddenly panicked, what's going to happen now?
Minho stepped slightly in front of Jisung and answered first. “Lee Minho, sixteen.”
“And you?” The soldier looked at Jisung with slightly narrowed eyes.
“H-Han Jisung, fourteen.” Jisung answered, clutching Minho's sleeve from behind to ground himself.
“Who's responsible for you two?”
They both opened their mouths to speak, but there wasn't any answer for that. The soldier started paging through his notebook, searching for their names. After a few moments spent in silence the soldier spoke again.
“You're not registered here.”
“We both lost our parents during the March.” Minho spoke up for both of them.
The soldier nodded and walked away to talk to his superiors about the problem. In a matter of time Jisung and Minho were sitting on the backseat of the military jeep going wherever they were taking them.
Looking back at the memories now, Jisung knew they went to Pyongyang. There, the adults checked the old registration records to find out where they're from and their parents’ names. After that, they both had to join the Red Youth Guard. Where they could learn the basics before joining the military. The adults said they both have to go back to their original hometowns. And Jisung didn't like that. Neither did Minho.
They slept in a big hotel in Pyongyang while the research was going on. They were told that their departure was the next morning.
Neither of them said it out loud but they both knew that they may not see each other ever again. They were sitting on some old chargos on the rooftop of the building, the air around them was nothing like usual. The mood between them had always been light, warm and bubbly. But now, it was heavy, cold and melancholic. Jisung already missed Minho, when he was right next to him. There were two persimmons in their hands, but they both had no appetite to eat it. Who would have the appetite to eat their last meal they can have with their soulmate?
They stared at the distance for who knows how long, but then soon enough, they found themselves in their tightest hug ever. Jisung was quietly sobbing and wetting Minho's shoulder with his tears. He couldn't shake off the thought of this being the last hug he got from his soulmate. His love.
“Don't worry Sungie… We'll just have to be really good soldiers with the highest title. Then we'll meet one day.” Jisung could hear Minho was smiling, but his voice was shaky enough for Jisung to know he was also tearing up. Maybe even crying.
That was the first and the last time Jisung had seen him cry.
★
“I’m sorry Captain!” He bowed, clutching the wet notebook to his chest. His voice was shaky, the realization and the wave of memories had him off guard. And he was also embarrassed after all.
“Don't worry about it. You'll be the one who has to rewrite it once we're back at the barracks.” Minho's tone was serious but the amused grin on his face was still there.
And Minho was right. When he was back at the small abandoned house with his unit he sat down next to a candle and some food to start working. He still couldn't believe how he could embarrass himself like that. In front of the captain. No. In front of Minho. That Minho. He still couldn't believe they met again.
When they said goodbye, Minho did say they will meet if they get higher titles, but Jisung knew he was just trying to reassure him. It seems like the universe is on their side this time. Jisung felt like meeting Minho again was life’s apology for separating them more than a decade ago.
By the time he finished copying the information from the soaked notebook to a new one the sun had already started to rise. Maybe he could've done it faster if he wasn't disturbed by his own thoughts constantly.
Did Minho recognize him too? Or was he the only one? If he did, why didn't he say anything? What if Jisung's wrong and he's not that Minho? No. Jisung was sure that was him. He would recognise those bunny teeth anywhere.
He blew the candle and put back his boots, then headed to the base. Not so far from the abandoned house they spent the night at, he noticed a persimmon tree. He hesitated for a moment, but then quickly grabbed a small basket from the house to pick some of the orange fruit.
He almost lost the notebook again while climbing the tree, but he was successful in picking a bunch of persimmons.
He entered the captain’s office when he was given permission. He kept the small basket hidden behind his back.
“I copied the notes as ordered, Comrade Captain.” Jisung put down the object on Minho's desk.
“Thank you, Comrade.”
Minho took the notebook and started paging through it. Jisung was hesitant to give him the fruits. He was shifting his weight from one foot to another restlessly and biting his lip to somehow relieve his nervousness.
Minho must have noticed because he looked up from the notebook. “Can I help you with anything else?”
Minho's voice was still as gentle as Jisung remembered, but for some reason he was still afraid to ask. “Now or never, Jisung. You only have one life.” He thought to himself before taking a deep breath.
“Do you want some persimmons?” Jisung held up the small basket with a slight blush on his cheeks.
Minho froze for a second before he stood up and stepped closer to Jisung, who was still staring at the floor.
“Jisung?... Are you really…” Minho trailed off, making the younger look up at him and answer with a small nod.
The older one took the small basket from his hand and gently placed it on the desk. Then, to Jisung's surprise, he hugged him tight. Jisung returned the hug with the same force, not caring if they couldn't breathe.
“I missed you so much.” He could only whisper against Minho's shoulder while trying to hold back his tears.
“I’m here now. I'm here.” Minho mumbled as he ran his fingers through the back of Jisung's hair, massaging his scalp like he would do it when they were young.
After they pulled back from the hug, they sat down on two chairs next to each other. Jisung even subconsciously made sure he pulled his as close to Minho's as possible. A weird awkward silence settled between them. That was something that had never happened before. But it was only fair to be a little awkward after not seeing each other for a solid twelve years.
“So when did you recognize me?” They both asked at the exact same second. They stared at each other for a few stunned moments then burst out laughing.
As their laughter subsided into small giggles, Jisung spoke first.
“I had a weird feeling from the start. But I realized it when you smiled yesterday.”
“I recognised you when you got scared from that bug” Minho chuckled, making Jisung's face go red.
“Let's pretend that didn't happen! I swear I'm a good soldier now!” Jisung tried to protect his reputation but his words made Minho laugh harder.
“I love how you hadn't changed at all!” Minho smiled brightly, and Jisung figured that the sight of it still gave him butterflies.
He wanted to look away, not to be too obvious, but he was mesmerized. Minho was still gorgeous. His long lashes, bunny teeth and features those were sharp and soft at the same time.
So Jisung stared. And Minho stared back.
They were so close Jisung could feel the warmth of Minho's breathing on his cheeks.
“Why are you so pretty?” Jisung whispered, his eyes going wide when he realized that he slipped.
As a teenager he could keep his mouth shut and his feelings hidden perfectly for years. Why was he slipping now? Maybe because memories of years of loving the man in front of him came rushing onto him like a tsunami. Or maybe because Minho was even more beautiful than he remembered. More beautiful than any woman or man Jisung had ever seen.
Jisung quickly stood up from the chair, almost stumbling over as he grabbed the basket of persimmons from Minho's desk.
“Don't we want to try these? I thought it would be nostalgic!” He stuttered as he sat down again, immediately busying his mouth, stuffing it with a fruit.
“It's— It's really good!” He exclaimed after he swallowed the bite, looking everywhere but at Minho.
Jisung's breath was caught in his throat when suddenly Minho grabbed his chin and pressed his lips against Jisung's. It was only a peck, Minho pulling back immediately after, but Jisung's heart felt like it was going to explode.
He knew this was wrong. He knew he needed to find a wife soon, he was expected to. Probably Minho had a plenty women who would gladly marry him, not like Jisung who hadn't even searched yet. Not like he ever wanted to.
He would have panicked if the warmth of Minho's lips wasn't burning his own. If his heart wasn't breathing so happily in his ribcage. He didn't care if it was wrong and dangerous. He wanted more of that warmth. He knew he wouldn't regret it. This might be his last chance to love Minho the way he wanted to.
No one could see them there. In the DMZ. Hidden behind the door of the Captain’s office. So Jisung didn't care anymore. He cupped Minho's face and pulled him back for a proper kiss.
He had no clue what he was doing, but like everything else with Minho, kissing him came naturally too. Minho took control of the dance of their lips almost immediately, leading Jisung through their slow kiss gently. Everything else in the world seemed to disappear, all Jisung could sense was Minho. His touches and the taste of him and persimmons mixing on his tongue.
When they ran out of air they parted with a small sound, but it was loud in Jisung's ears, like it echoed in the small room for minutes while they stared at each other. Jisung's breath still was slightly ragged.
As the realization started to take over his mind he started to panic. What's now? He kissed a man. And the man kissed back. He got Minho in danger. What kind of friend does that?
He stood up hurried towards the door. He wanted to run away. He didn't want to ruin Minho. Or his career, or anything else in his life. Maybe he already did. He needed to leave.
He almost fell backwards when suddenly Minho yanked him back by his wrist, and his back met with a strong and warm chest.
“Minho…” He choked out as he felt the older’s arms wrap tighter around him.
“Don't go. Please. Let's talk.” Jisung could only nod in resignation. His body basically melting into Minho's hug.
“I don't want to let you go again, Sung.” Minho sounded like he could cry at any second. Jisung hated it.
“But this is dangerous. You… You could lose everything.” Jisung turned around in Minho's hold to look at the man.
“You too.” Minho whispered.
“I don't care. There's only three more years of military service for me. And I don't wan—” Jisung was interrupted by Minho's —now sharp— voice.
“And there's only one more year to go for me. So your risk is bigger. I don't know exactly what's going through in that pretty head of yours… But if you're trying to protect my career, then don't.”
Minho's hands came up to cup Jisung's cheeks, his thumbs wiping away a stray tear with his thumb.
“The only reason I wanted to climb up the echelon was to find you again. Like I said on that rooftop twelve years ago. We're here together… So my title is the last thing I care about.”
“I’m trying to protect you. This will ruin your reputation forever Min…”
“I don't care. I've never wanted a career in the military. I would have left the military after you finished your military service.”
“Minho…” Jisung whispered, looking up at the man with teary eyes.
“C’me here.” Minho muttered softly then pulled Jisung into a gentle hug. Jisung buried his face into his shoulder.
The hug felt so warm, like wearing a comfy hoodie huddled up on the couch with a warm cup of tea. The last time he had felt this safe and cared for was when he and Minho were cuddling under their thickest blanket in a makeshift shelter. So good.
Jisung's whole body was trembling. He wondered if Minho could feel it too. He couldn't believe this was real. It overwhelmed him a little, making his breathing quicken slightly. But he wouldn't ever let go. Not when after who knows how long, he could finally have this. He could feel Minho bury his face into Jisung's neck as well. It was like the man’s breath was burning his skin, in the best way.
“Are you cold?” Minho asked quietly.
Well, it seemed like he could feel Jisung's trembling too. The younger one answered with a shake of his head against Minho's shoulder.
When the older pulled back only to leave a kiss on Jisung's cheek, the latter really thought he was going to faint on the spot. The only thing he could do was to stare at their joined hands or occasionally at the floor.
The following night Jisung hadn't got a blink of sleep. But this time he wasn't annoyed by the fact. Only because the cause was something very positive.
They hadn't really figured out anything with Minho yet, but they both promised —at least, Minho made Jisung promise— that they will not shut each other out, even if their situation is far from ideal.
★
Jisung was walking back to the small house with a basket hanging on his elbow, filled with freshly gathered persimmons.
He had liked the new surroundings so far, even though it was minimalistic. He now lived in a small house in the woods, not too far from the nearest village, but far enough to be quiet and private. It was mostly a self-sufficient household, if it came to food or firewood. And he always could buy the other necessary things too. Selling firewood and sometimes jam was a good idea, because he had enough income for a comfortable life.
He closed the gate behind himself and crouched down to pet the four puppies immediately attacking their owner when he arrived. He cooed at the small animals —Eun-dong, Ju-meok, Kwang-bom and Chi-soo by names— before standing up and finally entering the warm house.
The winter felt extra cold since the house was farther from any kind of settlement, so his cheeks and nose were red from the cold. He took a deep breath of the warm inside air, a happy smile spreading on his face when he smelled his favourite food, large bean porridge, cooking in the air.
“Hey! I'm home!” Jisung walked to the kitchen, and placed the basket on the table, then hugged Minho from the back. The older man looked so domestic and pretty while just standing in the kitchen, cooking and simply existing. Jisung could never resist.
“Hi, baby.” The older man's voice itself was enough to warm Jisung up, but maybe it was just the winter clothes he still had on.
When Minho didn't really pay more attention to him, he let go of the man’s waist and took off his warm clothes.
“I brought you a loooot of persimmons today!” He grinned, trying to get the attention he needed. But only earned an amused, but grateful chuckle from the other one.
“What are you making?” Jisung asked, peering over Minho's shoulder, even though he knew exactly what he was making by the smell of it. “Is it my favorite? Because you love me that much?” Jisung was stepping closer and closer to Minho with each word, just like their puppies when he arrived home, yearning for some attention and love.
Minho laughed affectionately, and put the food on the table when it was ready, before finally turning towards Jisung. “You're right, I made it for you.” Minho mumbled as he grabbed Jisung by the waist, and chuckled again when Jisung blushed. His frostbitten cheeks were becoming even redder.
“Let's get you fed baby, you worked hard.” Minho said as he guided Jisung to sit down, like he wasn't living there too.
“You're right, I sold everything today! People really like our persimmon jam!” Jisung exclaimed with a bright smile as he watched Minho plate their food.
“I knew you always had great ideas.” Minho's tone was full of adoration as he put down the plate in front of Jisung.
“Fancy that! Actually tonight I've had a dream of the past!” Jisung said after they were eating in silence for a few minutes, with a nostalgic smile on his face.
Minho looked up at him with a similar expression. “Yeah? About what?”
“Ummm, I really can't remember well… We were helping someone out in exchange for a meal you know… Then suddenly I was giving you persimmons while we were training in the DMZ. Why would we train there? And how did I even get there?” Jisung chuckled, staring at Minho with a dumbfounded expression and making the latter laugh.
“I can't believe it's been ten years since we met again in the DMZ.”
Jisung nodded sympathetically. “But I don't miss the days when we had to keep so many secrets in the military. Everything is so quiet now, and I think I found peace.”
“You're right. That's all we needed. After all we've been through.”
Jisung hummed, suddenly he was in the mood for some alcohol, which was rare for him. But he stood up and examined the shelf where their home made alcohol was. Made by Minho, as a hobby.
“Can we open one?” He turned back towards Minho, who just nodded with a small grin.
“Which one?” Jisung asked, his hands hovering over the bottled drinks. He knew those were important for Minho.
The older one pointed at an average sized glass container with damgeumju (fruit-infused liquor) in it. Jisung's face lit up. “Really?! This one? Can we?” He grabbed the drink and carefully placed it on the table.
Minho opened the bottle with an endeared smile, and there was no way back. In the following hours, the nostalgia turned into laughter, then cries and tight hugs, then dancing and singing drunkenly outside with a chicken in Jisung's hands. Without shoes. In the snow.
The next day, Jisung really couldn't recall much. He only had a few foggy images of moments in his head. Which was throbbing like crazy. He let out a raspy groan and nuzzled closer to Minho still sleeping next to him.
He couldn't even care about his insane hangover, he was in Minho's arms, and that was enough. They had a stable and consistent life together. Even if they will never be able to be legally married, they can be together for the rest of their lives happily. Jisung felt lucky to have Minho in his life. Not only as his boyfriend, but in their childhood as well.
Who knows if Jisung would have survived without Minho?
They will never know. But Jisung doesn't want to get lost in the what ifs anymore. He's just happy with whatever he can have, no matter what life gives him. Even if he has to live in the streets, even if he has to spend a decade or more in the military.
Especially if it's the man next to him.
Under solid thirty years of their lives they had got through a lot. Jisung would be lying if he said it wasn't rough. But still, in the end, he wouldn't change a thing.
If life gives you persimmons, make damgeumju.