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Spleen - did | Part 1
Shane bit back a groan as Comeau slammed him into the boards for the dozenth time. Fuck. His ribs were aching as he pushed off the boards and chased after the puck, having lost it in the altercation.
Ilya skated over to him. "You okay?" he asked, catching his breath.
Shane nodded, not able to say anything without letting out a moan. Fuck. It was their first game against Montreal since Shane had left and joined Ottawa. Everyone was angry.
Ilya had tried to make sure that everyone on the team knew Montreal was going to go for Shane, but they were all taking hard hits. Troy had already been in the penalty box, along with Ilya.
Play resumed. Ilya boxed out one of the Montreal players and snapped the puck in Shane's direction. He sped towards the goal. This time, Comeau slammed into his left side with enough force that he hit the boards and fell to his knees. Shane coughed and gasped as the other guy's stick dug beneath his ribs.
Hot, stabbing pain erupted in his left side. Fuck, fuck. Shane felt his stomach roll at the intensity of the pain. Fresh sweat dripped into his eyes as tears threatened to fall, but he refused to cry.
"Stay on your knees where you belong faggot," Comeau spat.
Ilya slammed into Comeau, yanking his glove off and punching him in the face.
Shane fought to breathe evenly as several of his team joined in. The crowd roared in response to the fight. Shane stayed down, one hand pressed to his side.
Hayden skated over to him. "You okay?" He offered his hand.
Nope. Not a bit. Shane took his hand and let Hayden pull him to standing. As soon as he was vertical, the nausea increased. Saliva pooled in his mouth. "Shit," he moaned.
Hayden, probably from the fact that he'd seen that expression on his kids, quickly guided Shane away from the fight and to the bench, where Shane leaned over the door and threw up onto the ground. "Shit," Hayden mirrored.
At least it was his own bench, Shane realized.
Luca opened the door and helped Shane onto the bench as Coach Weibe motioned for the team's doctor to come over. Shane wanted to thank Hayden but didn't want to open his mouth again for fear of a repeat. Two of the trainers helped him down the tunnel and into the training room.
"Where's Ilya?" Shane asked as they settled him on the table and started to remove his jersey to see where he was still clutching his side.
"He's still on the ice," Luca said.
Shane hadn't realized he had followed them.
"Do you want me to go get him?" Luca asked.
No. Shane shook his head, cursing low as the doctor moved his hand. "Just let him know I'm okay. He's gotta finish the game."
Luca disappeared, promising to let him know.
Shane laid back on the bed, letting the doctor examine his ribs and trying to focus on not being sick again. What the fuck was that?
🏒
Ilya congratulated his team for the 3-2 win, but his mind was hyper-focused on Shane. He hadn't returned to the ice. The hit had been hard. Too many accumulating hits to his husband. Ilya stepped into the locker room and immediately clocked Shane sitting in his stall, still half dressed, but shirtless with his side exposed and holding a large bag of ice against his ribs. He knelt in front of Shane, gently kissing him. "Are you okay?" he whispered.
"Splendid," he gave a fake laugh which quickly turned to a hiss. "Nothing broken, but some bruised ribs and deep bruises on my side." Shane smiled. "I saw we won."
Ilya shrugged. "Of course. We won. For you." He kissed him again. "You sure you're okay?"
Shane nodded, leaning his forehead against Ilya's. "Yes."
"Do you need to see doctor at the hospital?" Something didn't feel right, but Ilya couldn't place it. He noted that Shane's face was slightly pale; his freckles standing out more. "Shane?"
"No. Doc already did an x-ray and gave me the list of things for follow up if anything changes. I'm just ready to go home." Shane squeezed Ilya's hand.
The team wanted to go celebrate, but Ilya encouraged them to go without him. He needed to keep an eye on his Shanya. They both showered and changed into their street clothes to head home. Ilya was grateful it was a home game. Recovering at home would be much better than a hotel room. Shane didn't complain when Ilya insisted on putting his arm around him to help him to the car and to let him drive. That enough was a bit worrying. Shane insisted he was just sore.
He'd taken some Ibuprofen and wanted to rest. As soon as they got home, Ilya ushered Shane to the living room and let Anya outside. A text from Hayden lit up his phone. [How's Shane doing?] Ilya stared at the message lit up on his phone, not sure how to answer. An uneasy feeling settled in stomach as he responded with an "okay" and let Hayden know he'd keep him posted. Why did he feel like Shane wasn't okay?
Spleen - did | Part 2
Shane rested his head in Ilya's lap and tried to focus on anything. Ilya's fingers running through his hair. The smell of a mint cookie Ilya was eating. The soft blanket on his legs. Anya's soft fur beneath his hand. The low hum of the television playing a Disney movie that Ilya had never seen. But - he couldn't. He shivered and hissed as the movement made the pain worse. He wouldn't admit, but the Ibuprofen hadn't helped.
"You okay?" Ilya asked.
"Cold."
Ilya pulled the blanket up higher, covering Shane's shoulders. Anya shifted to snuggle closer to Shane, causing him to smile. Shane turned to look up at his husband, snapping his eyes closed as the room spun.
"Is the light too bright?"
"No," Shane whispered. "Dizzy."
Ilya didn't say anything for a long minute. "You might be dehydrated. I will bring you water."
"O-kay."
Ilya slipped a pillow under Shane's head as he stood up, being careful not to move him much. "Be right back."
Shane opened his mouth to answer, but the words didn't form. He shivered again. Why was he so cold? He covered his hands with the blanket, causing Anya to make a soft whimper of disappointment. Shane absently rubbed his side. The pain creeped up his shoulder. Everything felt tight. He swallowed, feeling nauseous and was glad he'd not eaten anything.
Shane tried to lift his head, but let out a low moan. Nope. Hurt too much. He vaguely heard someone making noise in the kitchen. Who was visiting him? Ilya was in Boston at his house. Shane tried to push up, but his muscles shook and he collapsed back against the pillow. Fuck.
🏒
Ilya stood in front of the fridge, staring at the flavored bubbly water that Shane loved or at the bottled water. He should have asked which he would have wanted. Water. Just water. He closed the door softly. Ilya ran a hand over his face. Shane was so quiet. He'd barely said anything since they got home. It'd been two hours. Still wasn't right.
A soft moan drew his attention. Ilya grabbed the bottle and hurried into the living room. Shane was attempting to push up on his elbows and reach for his phone on the coffee table.
"Here." Ilya handed it to him. "Lay back down."
"Missed... a video call... from Lily."
Alarms went off in Ilya's mind. "What? Shane, I'm right here."
Shane didn't look at him.
It was then Ilya realized how pale Shane had become. There was an ethereal, almost ghostly quality to his color. His eyes, too bright, looked glassy. His freckles were little pinpricks of contrast from the lack of color in his skin. The evident confusion wasn't helping. "Just lay down, Shane." Ilya put a hand on Shane's shoulder. He hissed in pain and fell back against the couch. "Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."
Shane shook his head. "Gotta stop... playing horsie with Ruby."
They hadn't seen the Pike kids in over a month. Panic set in. Ilya grabbed his phone from under the corner of the blanket, immediately calling Yuna.
She answered on the second ring. "Ilya, how's everything going?" He could hear dishes clinking in the background, along with David talking softly.
"Shane is... wrong."
Yuna's tone changed. "Wrong how? What's he doing?"
"Too pale. Dizzy. Confused. Talking about things that haven't happened."
"Did Shane have a concussion?"
"No. Bruised ribs."
Ilya stood up and took a step back. "I did not see his head hit. But a lot was happening. Team doctor checked him out." He glanced back at Shane. He'd rolled to his back and was staring at the ceiling. His breathing was uneven and he shivered again, but didn't move to lift the blanket this time.
"Does he have a fever?" Yuna repeated.
"Sorry. I don't know. Will check." Ilya glanced at his love before heading to the downstairs bathroom to grab the thermometer.
Yuna asked another question, but Ilya didn't hear her. He couldn't find it. Where did Shane put it? Ah, second drawer in the first aid box. Just as his fingers closed on the thermometer, Ilya heard a loud crash from the living room and a bark from Anya. "Shane!"
Spleen - did | Part 3
Ilya ran into the living room, almost tripping over Anya. Shane lay crumpled on the floor next to the couch. "Shane!" he knelt next to him, gently rolling him over and touching his cheek. "Shane, wake up."
"Ilya!" Yuna's voice came through the phone in his hand.
Ilya's fingers were shaking as he put the call on speakerphone. "He fell. Not waking up."
"Okay. Ilya, listen to me. David is calling for an ambulance." She paused and said something to David.
Ilya brushed his fingers over Shane's lips. "Please wake up."
"Can you check his pulse?" Yuna asked.
"I - I cannot do this."
"You can do this, Ilya. Shane needs you to do this." Yuna's voice was firm, but kind. "Take his wrist and find his pulse."
Ilya's hands shook as he picked up Shane's wrist, noting how limp it was. It took several seconds to find his pulse. It was slow... almost weak. He relayed the information to Yuna.
She paused, listening again. "How's his side look?"
Ilya gently pulled up Shane's t-shirt, exposing a dark red patch on his side that wasn't there before. Ilya gasped. Dark red, blood his brain supplied, pooled beneath the skin, seemed to start at his ribs, expanding out to cover half of his side. Almost like a bruise that went to his belly button. "Blood." His throat felt like knives as he spoke, fighting to tell Yuna what he saw. "Under his skin." His fingers barely brushed the swollen skin. It was warmer. Fuck.
He'd not had it himself, but he knew. Shane was bleeding internally. It happened more often in hockey. "Fuck!" Ilya shouted, before cursing in Russian.
"Ambulance is almost there," Yuna reassured. "You should be able to hear the sirens in a minute. I need you to make sure the door is unlocked and open for the paramedics."
Ilya shook his head before remembering Yuna couldn't see him. "I can't leave him."
He used the sleeve of his sweatshirt to wipe the tear from his nose before it fell onto Shane.
"I know. Just for a second. They have to be able to get in." Yuna's voice choked up too.
"Da." Ilya kissed Shane's forehead. He rushed to the door and unlocked it. He even used the rug to keep it open, making it even easier to enter. Running back, his knees slammed into the floor as he knelt beside Shane. His eyes were still closed. No movement. Ilya put a hand on his chest, feeling it rise and fall.
"Moya lyubov'," Ilya whispered, running his fingers through Shane's hair.
The sound of sirens reached his ears, getting louder and stopped. The bright lights lit up the living room. Ilya looked up as the soft sound of Anya whimpering from the couch. She laid her head down, looking heartbroken for a dog.
Two new voices called out as they entered, two paramedics moving quickly. Yuna said to text what hospital and they'd meet him there before hanging up. He agreed, pocketing his phone.
"Hi, I'm Anthony and this is my partner Wren. I assume this is Shane. What's your name?"
Ilya wiped the moisture from his face. "Ilya. I'm his husband."
"Hi Ilya. Can you tell me what happened?" Anthony asked.
Wren started checking Shane's vitals, putting monitors on him, along with a blood pressure cuff. The loud Velcro sound made Ilya jump. Shane hated that sound. The machine lit up as his vitals appeared on the display.
"He fell," Ilya stated. "But he got hurt in hockey game earlier today."
Anthony nodded and used his stethoscope to listen to Shane's breathing.
Ilya saw the moment he clocked the dark spreading on Shane's side.
"He took a hard hit," Anthony stated. He looked at the monitor. "Blood pressure is 68 over 35. Pulse is weak and thready."
"That bad?" Ilya felt his stomach roll. His Shanya. Ilya needed him to be okay. The last person he loved who he found similar to this... not like his mother. More tears fell and were roughly wiped away. Ilya held tight to Shane's hand.
"Your husband appears to have internal bleeding. It's pretty serious. We're gonna get him to the hospital and get some doctors to help him out." The other paramedic, Wren, hooked up fluids to an IV line that Ilya hasn't seen her start. Anthony helped move Shane onto the gurney and lifted it from the floor.
Ilya quickly put Anya away and grabbed his phone charger, along with Shane's phone from the floor. He followed as they loaded Shane into the ambulance.
Wren motioned for Ilya to climb in, and he sat where she instructed. Anthony closed the doors. The ambulance's siren turned on again and sped toward the hospital.
Wren connected an oxygen mask to Shane's face, tucking the elastic behind his head. "A lot of things are gonna happen really fast. But he's in good hands." Wren gave him a gentle smile.
The ride continued with Ilya clutching Shane's hand, needing to feel that he was still with him. Ilya texted Yuna. Long minutes passed.
One of the monitors changed, lighting up red and beeping loudly. Wren grabbed a small vial from a drawer and administered a medication into his IV. The beeping continued.
"What's wrong?" Ilya asked.
"His blood pressure is too low. The bleeding needs controlled."
"I called ahead," Anthony said from the driver's seat. "Blood and surgeons are on stand-by."
Ilya squeezed Shane's hand, kissing his cool fingers. "Ya tebya lyublyu."
No reaction from Shane. Ilya shook his head, choking back a sob as the ambulance pulled up to the ED. The doors flew open as soon as they stopped. Two doctors helped pull the gurney out as Wren relayed the current situation. Shane's hand slipped out of Ilya's as they took him through the first set of doors. Ilya followed behind, not sure where to go.
"I'm sorry, but you can't go past this point," a nurse said as he tried to follow through the next set of doors.
"But -"
"He's headed straight to the OR. Someone will come give you more information once we get him stabilized."
And then Shane was gone. The blur of doctors faded, heading in their own direction. Ilya found the closest wall and leaned heavily against it. Fuck. He slid to the floor and dropped his head onto his knees. Shane had to be okay. He had to be. He couldn't go on without him. Now he had to wait and see if the love of his life was going to be okay.
Spleen - did | Part 4
Yuna squeezed tight to David's hand as they walked through the Ottawa Hospital Emergency Room doors. She beelined for the main desk where a young dark-haired nurse sat. "Hi, my name is Yuna Hollander. I'm looking for information on my son, Shane Hollander who was just brought in by ambulance."
"Of course," she replied with a soft smile. "One second. Ah, it looks like he's in surgery right now. I can let the doctors know you're here and to update you as soon as they can."
"We might need a more private waiting room." The media were sure to get news of this, and it would be better for Ilya to have a private space to wait.
"Absolutely. I'm a big fan of your son and son in law. So sorry this is happening." She stood up. "I can show you to a private area to wait."
David squeezed her hand twice, getting her attention. "I found him."
Yuna turned to where David gestured and her heart broke at the sight.
Ilya sat on the floor, his head planted firmly on his knees, and his curls obscuring his face. His bare feet stuck out of the bottom of his sweatpants. Despite the cold weather, he wore no shoes or coat. Ilya trembled, pulling himself tighter. He looked so small. For a moment, Yuna imagined him as a small boy, scared and looking for someone to help him. She blinked at the tears in her eyes as she walked over and knelt in front of him. "Ilya," she murmured, brushing his arm. "We're here."
Ilya's eyes were bright and red. He quickly tried to wipe them on his sweatshirt, but Yuna shook her head.
"Don't worry about it. Ilya, where are your shoes?"
He glanced down at his feet as if noticing for the first time that he wasn't wearing anything. "Forgot."
"I think I have some in the car. I'll be right back," David said, letting go of her hand.
Yuna gently rubbed Ilya's arm, feeling how cold he was. "The nurse said she could give us a private waiting room. Come with me."
Yuna put out a hand, helping Ilya get up from the floor. He groaned, no doubt sore from playing the game earlier and getting into at least three fights with the Montreal players. It hadn't been a good game to watch. She made a note to make sure he ate and had something for the pain. David appeared a moment later, holding a pair of his slides. They weren't exactly the same size, but a little adjustable and better than nothing. David pulled the Velcro. Ilya startled so hard he almost fell over.
"Hey, you're okay." Yuna frowned.
Ilya shook his head. "Sorry. Blood pressure cuff was... loud too."
Yuna wrapped her arms around him, no longer waiting to hold him and try to make him feel better. Shane was strong. He'd be okay. Ilya returned the embrace, holding her tightly. She hummed softly as she rubbed his back. The sound of his breathing hissed between his teeth as he fought not to cry. After he calmed down, David knelt down and slipped his feet into the sandals.
The nurse quietly led them to the private waiting room. Ilya paced back and forth, moving around the room before finally settling in a chair closest to the door. He dropped his face into his hands.
"I'll have a doctor come and give you an update as soon as possible," the kind nurse said before closing the door.
Yuna sat down next to her second son and held his hand, squeezing tight as they waited for news.
🏒
Four hours. Four hours of waiting to hear how the surgery went.
A surgeon had stopped by after an hour of waiting and gave them an update. Shane was critical, but in surgery to remove his spleen. It had ruptured and he'd been bleeding internally since the hit. Slow at first, but it was too far gone to repair. The doctor promised to give another update when he could. Ilya shifted in the plastic cushioned chair. His butt kept falling asleep and he was sore from the game. It was early morning and he hadn't slept. Exhaustion ate at him, but he refused to sleep.
Yuna leaned on David's shoulder, scrolling and typing on her phone. Hayden and other members of the team had texted, but Ilya hadn't been able to answer. She took the job willingly. Around 1 am, Hayden made his way into the waiting room and sat beside Ilya. Not talking but just sitting with him. He claimed he couldn't sleep.
"Fuck," Ilya stood up and started pacing again.
David sat up straighter, watching him. "I'm sure someone will come in soon."
Ilya nodded, pulling on his hair. Shane. He'd had his fingers in Shane's hair as he rested on his lap. Shane laying in his lap. Shane bleeding to death on his lap.
He didn't know.
Ilya gasped and rushed to the door. He pushed it open to emerge in the hallway. Cold sweat dripped down his forehead.
His heart raced.
Fuck.
Shane was dying and he didn't do anything.
Ilya gasped as the hall spun around him. Too much. All too much.
"Shane," Ilya gasped. His chest ached as he fell to his knees.
There wasn't enough air. No. He wasn't breathing.
Ilya was dying in the hallway, not knowing if his Shanya would live. Sobs erupted from his chest as he lay down on the floor, barely registering the cold tiles beneath him as he trembled.
"Rozanov, hey - hey, focus on my voice. Breathe in and out. You gotta breathe."
Ilya tried to focus on the voice, but it felt too hard. Too much.
"In and out. You can do this."
Ilya felt someone grab his hand and place it on their chest.
"Breathe with me."
Ilya swallowed, but tried to follow the instructions. He gasped in and out. In and out. Slowly, it felt like his chest wasn't going to explode. Ilya shivered, feeling so cold on the floor. Absolutely spent, his eyes searched for the speaker. "What happened?" Ilya sighed.
"Pretty sure you had a panic attack," Hayden answered, leaning on the wall next to Ilya.
Not who he expected to see beside him. Ilya frowned. "Russians don't panic."
Hayden shrugged. "You did. Don't lie."
He helped Ilya sit up and lean against the wall. "How..."
"Helped Shane through a few. One especially bad one after a night with Lily. Something about a tuna melt, he kept saying. Took a lot longer for him to calm down." Hayden stared at his hands, and picked at a band-aid. "He's gotta pull through."
"Yes. Shane will." Ilya nodded, wiping his face with his sleeve and wishing he had a clean shirt. "Wouldn't leave me with Montreal's fifteenth best hockey player."
"Fuck you, Rozanov." Hayden laughed. "Dude, whose shoes are you wearing?"
Ilya wiggled his toes, which were sticking a full inch over the top end of the sandal. "David."
"I've got some in my car that might fit better. I can go get them if you want."
No. Ilya shook his head, closing his eyes. The panic attack drained what little energy he had left. "No. Sit. Stay with me for little longer."
He expected a curt reply, but Hayden only said, "Okay, I can do that."
Together, they kept waiting.
Spleen - did | Part 5
Ilya felt dizzy and nauseous, partly due to how exhausted he was, but mostly due to how anxious he was. He glanced at the digital clock on the wall. 3:38am. Hayden had finally persuaded him to return to a chair in the waiting room and let David assist him. The threat of germs from the hospital floor convinced him. And his aching back from being bent over for so long.
"Family of Shane Hollander?" A short female doctor with dark curly hair asked as she entered.
"Yes," Ilya said, sitting up straight. "Am his husband."
She smiled as she pulled a chair in front of him and sat down. "Mr. Hollander is stable. As you were told, he sustained irreversible damage to his spleen. There was significant blood loss and we had to remove his spleen." She paused. "His heart stopped while he was on the table, but we managed to get it back. He's resting comfortably in the ICU while we monitor him. The next 24 hours are crucial to see how he fares."
His heart stopped?
Ilya felt sick. He nodded to the doctor. "Can I see him?"
"The nurse will be by soon and can take you to his room. We have a policy of only two visitors at a time though." Ilya glanced at the three waiting with him. "Is okay. Thank you."
She smiled and left.
Ilya took a shaky breath. Soon, soon he could hold his Shane's hand again.
Yuna squeezed his shoulder. "Do you want me to come in with you?"
"Please," he whispered, scared of what he would see.
A male nurse stepped in a moment later to show them to Shane's room. Yuna held Ilya's hand as they walked. He fought to stay present and calm as he imagined what was waiting for him. They rode the elevator to the 8th floor. A nurse instructed them to clean their hands before entering. Ilya obeyed, keeping his eyes on the floor.
"Hey," Yuna said, getting his attention. "Shane loves you so much. He wouldn't leave you."
"My mother did," Ilya said, regretting the words as soon as he said them. "She loved me and she left me. I can't. Not again."
Yuna held him tight and kissed his cheek. "I'm so sorry. This whole situation must bring up the worst memories."
"Yes." He cursed as he wiped his eyes again. "Fuck this day. When I see Comeau, next time I beat the shit out of him."
Yuna laughed once. "Hayden already did."
"What?"
"You didn't see his knuckles and the Band-aids? Jackie texted that he got in a fight with him after the game. He's benched for the next two games."
"Good. Maybe he not be fifteenth best player anymore. Maybe fourteenth now."
She gave him a warm smile and motioned to the door. "Let's go tell Shane the good news and sit with him for a little bit."
"O-kay."
Ilya opened the heavy wooden door and stepped into the room. Beeping immediately came to his ears. Shane's heartbeat, softly making sounds on the monitor. Along with the faint hiss of oxygen. A breathing tube stuck out of his mouth, held in place by medical tape. The color of his skin improved some, but was still too pale for him. An IV in his hand administered fluids and a blood transfusion. A syringe also dispensed medication into him. Good. It was all helping him. Ilya blew out a breath as he sat down next to Shane, taking his hand in his.
"Hey, I'm here. Mama Yuna is here too." Shane didn't react. Ilya used his thumb to brush the freckles on his cheeks, just like when Shane had been in the hospital before, after Marleau hit him. Still no response. "Ya tebya lyublyu." Ilya kissed his hand and gave him a smile. "When you wake up, is your turn to say it."
Yuna approached the other side of the bed, brushing her son's arm. Ilya saw the tube sticking out from under Shane's blanket; drainage from the wound he couldn't see beneath the gown. Yuna kissed her son's forehead, smoothing back his hair. "We're right here, sweetheart. Just rest."
Neither of them spoke for a long time.
Yuna stepped out after a little to let David come in.
David spoke softly to his son as Ilya kept vigil. He clutched Shane's hand like a lifeline, as if it were holding him to this world. By the time Hayden entered, Ilya had pulled the awkward recliner closer and curled his legs up onto it.
"Hey buddy, you look like shit," Hayden said to Shane with a smile. "You just get better, okay? I took care of the problem."
"Thank you," Ilya murmured, fighting to keep his eyes open. "Would have done it later."
"I beat you to him."
Ilya yawned. "Good."
Hayden pulled a heavy white knitted blanket from the cupboard and draped it over Ilya as his eyes closed. The faint light from the sunrise came into the room as Ilya finally fell asleep, holding tight to Shane's hand. Hayden smiled and settled into the chair across from him to keep watch while Ilya slept.
Spleen - did | Part 6
Uneaten food sat on the bedside table. Yuna had ordered it for Ilya, in an attempt to get him to eat. No luck. The first twenty-four hours had passed since the surgery. The breathing tube was gone, replaced with a nasal canula. A slight pink color had returned to Shane's cheeks with the blood transfusion finished. The doctor approved to lower the sedation so Shane could wake up. It hadn't happened yet. Ilya sighed, squeezing Shane's hand again.
Yuna sat down next to him, putting a hand on her son-in-law's hand. "You need to take care of yourself too."
Ilya shook his head. "Am fine."
"You're not."
He let out a little laugh. "Shane gets it from you. No bullshit."
"Good. I taught him right." Yuna leaned back in her chair, pulling her legs up beside her. "Did I ever tell you about the time he broke his arm when he was four?"
"No. Didn't know he did."
"David and I took him sledding down his first big hill. He hit a tree," Yuna winced.
"Ouch."
"Shane hit his head when he flipped and his arm got twisted." She looked down, picking at a loose string on her sweater. "We were on the sled together. It was my fault. I didn't steer us away." She brushed the spot on her sweater. "I felt... guilty for a long time. But Shane never blamed me. He bounced back and wanted to go sledding again a few weeks later. And to sit with me."
"Very Shane."
"Ilya," Yuna put a hand on his arm. "This isn't your fault."
No. Ilya shook his head. It was. "Shane was dying on my lap. I didn't know."
"And that's not your fault. The important thing is that you were there. You got him the help that he needed. He trusts you. I never thought I'd see Shane love anyone the way that he loves you."
A soft squeeze of his fingers made Ilya gasp and turn his head back to the bed. Shane's eyes were open. "Ilya..." he murmured.
"I'm right here, moya lyubov." Ilya leaned forward and gently kissed his husband. "You in any pain?"
"No..." Shane swallowed. "Water?"
Yuna grabbed the cup from the bedside table and held it for her son as he drank from the straw. "Oh sweetheart." She brushed his hair from his forehead. "I'm so happy you're awake."
"What... happened?"
"You were bleeding internally," Yuna answered.
"Comeau... that last hit... his stick went... into my side."
Ilya cursed loudly, but bit his lip to stop himself. "He will pay for what he did. More than Hayden trying to beat him up."
"He what?"
"I'm gonna let the nurse know you're awake. The doctor wanted to be told when you woke up." Yuna kissed his forehead. "I'll be right back." Yuna left the two of them alone.
"Montreal's 15th, no 14th now, best player, he beat up Comeau after game. For you."
"Fuck," Shane muttered. "He okay?"
"Yes. He was here earlier, but went to get some sleep and call Jackie."
Shane nodded, his eyelashes fluttering as he tried to keep them open. "Are you okay?"
"No," Ilya whispered.
It was very Shane to be thinking of someone else when he was recovering from major surgery and almost dying. Ilya choked back a sob, refusing to look at him. Shane put out his arms, slowly lifting them to not disturb the tubes. Ilya carefully put his head on Shane's chest and let himself cry as Shane ran his fingers through his curls. He was alive. Alive and taking care of him.
"I was so scared," Ilya said.
"Me too." He looked up at his husband, seeing the tears on his face.
Ilya grabbed a tissue from the box on the bedside table and wiped Shane's cheeks. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I didn't know you were hurt so badly."
Shane shrugged and hissed at the movement. "I didn't either. But you were with me. A part of me knew that I was safe, even when I didn't."
"Hollander, fuck." Ilya hid his face again. It took him a few long minutes to compose himself again. "I don't deserve you."
"You absolutely do. Ya tebya lyublyu."
Ilya smiled, feeling lighter than he had in two days. "Love you too."
Shane yawned and his eyes closed. He tried to open them again. "Sorry. So tired."
"Sleep. Will tell you all the details later."
"O-kay." Shane sighed and seemingly went back to sleep, looking peaceful this time.
Ilya kissed his forehead. He sat down but quickly got back up and went to the bedside table. He unwrapped the cold turkey sandwich, taking a bite. To take care of himself first. Ilya knew Yuna was right. He returned to his spot next to Shane, to wait until he woke up again. Then Ilya could explain to his husband how he was missing an organ and hopefully he wouldn't think that Ilya sold it or something.
Spleen - did | Part 7
"Slowly, slow." Ilya kept his arm around Shane as they walked into their house. He took most of Shane's weight, making sure he didn't pull his side.
Five days in the hospital and the doctor finally decided he was stable enough to be discharged. (Though he was out from hockey for a least 3 months or longer, depending on the doctor's orders.) David held the front door, carrying Shane's bag and a bouquet of flowers from Rose. Yuna was already inside, making dinner.
Shane stumbled slightly as he tried to slip his shoes off.
Ilya steadied him. "I got you."
"I know you do. You always do," Shane whispered with a smile.
Ilya blushed, though he'd deny it, as he leaned down and helped pull off Shane's shoes. He helped him into the living room. The house smelled like chicken noodle soup and banana muffins. Shane sighed, settling onto the soft couch. Ilya covered his legs with a blanket and kissed his forehead.
"Wait!" Yuna called as Anya bounded into the room.
Ilya scooped her up before she could jump onto Shane and pull any of his stitches. He leaned down, letting her sniff and kiss Shane's cheek. Shane laughed, petting her. She quickly settled down beside him with her head in his lap.
"Feels good to be home," Shane said.
"It's good to see you feeling better." David helped Yuna carry the food into the living room and set it up on the coffee table.
Ilya immediately grabbed a muffin and stuffed half of it in his mouth, causing Shane to laugh. "What?"
"Nothing. I just missed being home."
"The team wanted to throw party, but we said not yet. Better to let you rest."
A pile of greeting cards rested on the table, all from the team and the Pike children. Shane had read each one twice already. Hayden had texted to say he was going to stay over when Ilya traveled for the next game. He promised to bring more drawings from the kids. Shane mentally planned where he wanted to stick each one on the fridge, so none of them overlapped.
"Ilya picked out a movie for after dinner, if you feel up to it." David said, taking a bite of his soup.
"I'll probably fall asleep, but let's do it. What movie did you pick, hun? Is it that one about organ trafficking?"
They all laughed as Ilya put up his hands. "Told you. Damaged organ brings bad price. I didn't sell it."
"But if it had been a good, undamaged spleen?" Shane grinned at him.
"Maybe. Probably. You do still have two kidneys. You only need one."
Yuna held up a hand as she laughed. "No more hospitals this year. Everyone." She looked at Ilya knowingly. "Promise?"
"Promise, Mama Yuna. Be on best behavior."
She gave him a look. "Good."
Ilya sat down next to his husband, sneaking one of his legs beneath the blanket. Once they finished eating, Ilya started the movie. It was one of Shane's favorites, and he knew it from start to end, so he didn't feel bad when he started to drift off to sleep about a third in.
Ilya put his arm behind Shane and kissed his forehead. "Sleep."
The two fell asleep, arms and legs intertwined together beneath the blanket as Shane ended up on Ilya's lap, snuggled against him with his head on Ilya's chest. Exactly as they should be. Yuna snapped a photo and sent it to Ilya, knowing he'd receive it when he woke up, writing a quick text of "may you always protect each other". Shane snuggled into Ilya's embrace. Safe in Ilya's arms once again.
Spleen - did | Bonus Scene
"Welcome back to Montreal vs. Ottawa - it's been a game already! So many penalties - the box has been full tonight."
"This is the first game back after one of Montreal's players severely injured Shane Hollander, causing near fatal injuries. The Centaurs aren't letting that slide," the announcers said, unheard by the players down on the ice.
Ilya skated across the ice, slamming as hard as he could into Comeau, not even bothering to try to take the puck from him. He fell to the ground as the whistle blew. Shane was still on LTIR. It was an away game or he'd be at the rink, cheering his team and husband on. Ilya spit in Comeau's direction before skating back over to his spot.
"Nice!" Bood said, giving him a high five.
Ilya nodded, giving him a smile around his mouth guard. "Your turn!"
Shane refused to file assault charges against Comeau, even though he fully had the grounds to. He didn't want more attention brought to him and his former team. Coach Wiebe tried to convince him otherwise, but respected his decision. (Yuna didn't - she was very upset about it.) Ilya agreed with her but didn't vocalize it. This. This game was how he got even. Playing the game that he loved and defending the man he loved.
Play resumed. Ilya chased down Comeau, slamming him into the boards again. He passed the puck to Troy who scored! 3-0. Ilya cheered, celebrating with his players and grabbing a bottle of water.
"Fucking faggot!" Comeau shouted, following Ilya across the ice. "He got what he deserved. Should have hit him harder."
Ilya sprang at him, hitting him as hard as he could. Several other Centaurs jumped into the fight. Hayden even helped Ilya, pushing Comeau back in his direction when he tried to flee, seeing that he was severely outnumbered. Blood came out of Comeau's mouth.
One of the refs attempted to get Ilya back, but he refused to back down. Comeau finally went down and didn't get up again.
Ilya stood over him. "Never touch my husband again or when you get to hell, you can tell them that Rozanov sent you."
Ilya backed up as the ref shouted for him to return to his bench. It didn't matter. Two Montreal players helped Comeau up and off the ice. Ilya smiled, listening to his punishment. Didn't matter. He made his point. No one hurt his Shane.