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When Kurapika texted the three words he'd never guessed he'd send, he didn't expect Gon, Killua and Leorio to all arrive within the hour.
Leorio, with his giant stature and long legs, made it to Kurapika from the airship he'd taken first.
"Didn't think you knew the words 'I need help'," the spectacled man smirked.
"No, the fact that I texted you of all people shows how desperate I am," Kurapika corrected.
Gon laughed, having overheard such a statement as he barreled up and wrapped Kurapika in a tight hug. "I'm always happy to help you!"
"If I get at least one chocolate robo out of this, I'll do pretty much whatever," Killua drawled, his hands in his pockets.
"I'll keep that in mind," Kurapika answered, "But for now, we need to stop at a high-end clothing store. I'll explain on the way."
Kurapika broke into a brisk walk, with the others following closely behind him.
"I have a lead on one pair of the scarlet eyes," Kurapika announced in a quiet whisper. "Well, it would be more accurate to say I have a lead on a lead."
"We're not stressed about the accuracy of your words, nerd," Killua scoffed.
"Be nice," Leorio warned.
"There's this one guy who supposedly has info on a pair of scarlet eyes. The problem is, he's going to a couples-only bar before skipping town," Kurapika continued, taking a left. "That's why I need your help."
"So… we're supposed to pretend we're two sets of dates?" Leorio asked, stopping in the middle of the road.
"Ideally," Kurapika responded. "I figured at least one of you would be willing to play along and help me corner this guy."
"What do I have to do?" Leorio wondered, walking again.
"Wear a suit, follow my lead, and try not to blow our cover,"
"Sounds easy enough," Leorio agreed.
"Hey, Killua, do you want to be my fake date?"
"Are you going to do anything to sweeten the deal?" Killua asked.
"Two chocolate robos!" Gon exclaimed.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Killua shrugged.
Kurapika opened the door to the shop and headed into the women's section. Killua stopped at the beginning of the rack, right where the size zeroes rested.
"My folks made me try on a bunch of girls sizes. Their excuse was that good assassins can pull off both genders. I don't need to look anywhere besides this rack unless they run small. Then I'll move to the twos. Meet at the dressing rooms in 15?" Killua suggested.
"That sounds like a good plan. I did some online research ahead of time to help cut down sizing ambiguity. I'll be looking in the four to six range. Leorio, would you take Gon and help him find a suit?"
"Sure. Should I find one for myself?"
"No," Kurapika answered, "I think yours is perfect. Unless you want to spend the money on a new one?"
"I'll stick with what I have," Leorio chuckled as he lead a hyperactive Gon to the men's section.
Kurapika turned to the rack, Killua's rhythmic shuffling of hangers and dresses echoing from four feet away. Killua paused, and pulled a hanger from the rack before continuing to shuffle through the dresses. The blond decided to follow the young assassin's lead and began sorting through the size four dresses. Most of them were vibrant reds and neon pinks.
Did this store not sell anything remotely subtle?
Kurapika was nearing the end of the size fours when he found an elegant, navy dress with a halter neckline, leaving his arms free for a fight, as well as a slit by his legs. It would match Leorio's suit perfectly.
"Hey, Killua," Kurapika started, "Have you had much luck?"
"I have a few candidates," the boy shrugged, "I will admit, I'm more worried about what Gon will pick out if Leorio turns his head for more than five seconds."
"That is entirely why I sent Leorio with him," Kurapika admitted, "I wouldn't put it past Gon to find and purchase the most hideous suit in the store."
"I think the fifteen minutes are nearly up," Killua added, "We should head to the dressing rooms."
"Agreed," Kurapika said, leading the way. Killua followed with an armful of roughly five dresses, and Kurapika couldn't help but wonder if his luck was cursed. He was depending on Gon and Leorio's acting skills, and could barely find a suitable dress.
Both Killua and Kurapika let themselves into separate fitting rooms. Kurapika hung the dress on the little rack provided as he removed his regular wear, taking the time to neatly fold each article. In contrast, he could hear Killua casually dropping his clothes on the floor.
"Killua, please make sure to hang up their dresses," Kurapika called from his stall.
"I was planning to!" Killua answered, though his tone suggested otherwise.
Kurapika sighed as he removed the dress from the hanger, unzipped the back, and stepped into it. He shoved his arms through the armholes before zipping the dress back up.
To his surprise, the dress fit like it had been designed for him. The navy color brought out his blue-green eyes and complimented his blond hair, and the cut of the dress allowed for plenty of mobility.
Kurapika gently unzipped the dress, and set it back on the hanger, before putting on his traditional clothes once more. "My dress fits," he announced through the wall that separated him from Killua.
"Cool," Killua answered, " I think I found the best one to subvert expectations. But I already took it off."
"Same here," Kurapika informed the boy.
The two stepped out from their separate stalls and hung Killua's returns on the return rack.
"Hey," Leorio greeted, "Gon's trying on his suit."
"It's perfect!" Gon exclaimed from the fitting room. "Is there anything else you guys need?"
"Shoes," Kurapika answered, "Killua and I should both take a look at them."
"I'll go to the front and get this, then," Gon shared.
"You heard the kid," Leorio shrugged, herding Kurapika and Killua to the shoe section. Killua stopped first, reaching up onto the top rack for a pair of soft, white heels that were four inches tall, possibly more. Open fabric stretched across the foot, giving the shoe stability around the ankle.
"I'm going to try these on." Killua announced, "I have enough experience with disguises that I could surpass Leorio and Gon's experience three times over."
"I suppose I should try heels too," Kurapika sighed. I can't let Killua make me look bad.
"Yes, go for it!" Killua encouraged with a smirk on his face as he hurried to the bench to try the heels on. "Let's see if you can walk in them without marring your face! It'd be a shame if you broke your nose and made Leorio more handsome by default."
Well, that added a lot of pressure that Kurapika didn't need right now. He crossed over to the next aisle with bigger sizes, and found six-inch, silvery stilettos that would pair nicely with his dress. Killua stepped up to them, his laid back clothing and pristine white heels creating quite the contrast. His movements, including a casual front kick with impeccable balance that defied physics, made it clear that four-inch heels were absolutely nothing to him, and Kurapika couldn't help but feel embarrassed.
With a sigh, Kurapika headed to the bench to try his heels on. After he'd secured them properly, he stood and stepped towards Leorio. Kurapika wobbled slightly, and prayed that neither of his friends noticed. He took another, this time unable to keep his balance and tumbled towards Leorio.
The spectacled man caught Kurapika with a smirk. "No heels for you," he teased, "As realistic as it would look for you to hang on my arm all night, you need to walk and maybe even run on your own if things go south."
Kurapika bit back a sour reply. "Well, if I could actually walk in them, the sharp point would be great at gouging someone's eyes out."
Killua hummed, contemplating.
"Don't you dare," Kurapika hissed, "You're making me look bad enough wearing heels while I can't. Do not reach for those stilettos."
"Fine," Killua shrugged. "But you have to get me two chocolate robos."
"Fair enough," Kurapika sighed as he sat back on the bench and took the stilettos off of his feet. He slipped his normal flats on.
"Hey, Kurapika," Leorio started. "How long is your dress again?"
"Long enough to hide the flats—oh. See, I've been stressed because I know I'm going to be keeping you in line all night long."
Killua failed to hide his giggle as he picked up his dress and heels, while Kurapika lifted his dress from the bench. The trio headed to the front, where Gon waved at them excitedly. "I love my suit so much!" the green-clad boy exclaimed.
"I'm glad, you'll be wearing it for an entire evening," Kurapika informed him as he stepped up to one cashier and Killua stepped up to another. The cashiers scanned the three items quickly, and quietly stated the totals. Killua and Kurapika both swiped their Hunter Licenses to pay, and walked out of the store with their disquises in tow.
Kurapika called them a taxi to take them to his hotel room. Upon their arrival there, he retrieved a pair of kitchen scissors. "Use these to cut the tags off—or they at least need to be well hidden if you intend to return what you purchased."
"I'm keeping mine!" Gon announced, unzipping the fancy bag the store had placeed his suit in to keep it in pristine condition. He pulled it out and Kurapika felt the blood drain from his face.
"Gon," Killua started, "That suit looks like radioactive vomit."
"It does not!" Gon argued as he snipped the tag-and with it, Kurapika's hope of a successful mission.
Someone kill me now.
"And I thought the room without a mini bar would be a good idea," Kurapika mumbled to himself, feeling his body begin to sway. Leorio placed his hand on Kurapika's shoulder, and he turned to the spectacled man. "Leorio, you were supposed to keep an eye on him! What the hell happened in there?"
"I turned for five seconds to answer an email! He's the one you need to scold for having a bad sense of fashion!" Leorio screeched.
"But it matches my regular outfit!" Gon exlcaimed, "The green represents my jacket and shorts, and the orange undershirt is a nod to the orange lining on my jacket."
"Killua, please tell me you picked something presentable," Kurapika begged, fighting the urge to ask Leorio for Motrin. Surely the medical student would have something, right?
"Of course," Killua scoffed, pulling out his dress, "I'm not Gon."
"Well, you won't look like a golfing lawn in that dress," Leorio mused, opening his briefcase and handing Kurapika the entire bottle of painkillers, "That bow is kind of big. Won't it get in the way?"
"You'd better count out the dose for me," Kurapika sighed, handing it back, "With Gon's walking disaster, I'll be too tempted to dump as much of the bottle into my mouth as I can possibly handle without choking."
"I'm glad you can recognize that," Leorio admitted softly, opening the bottle and pressing two vibrant orange pills (the same color as Gon's atrocious undershirt) into Kurapika's hand, "I'm sorry. I should have kept a better eye on him."
Kurapika knocked back the two pills like he was taking a shot of liquor, and swallowed them without water. "You're responsible for fixing him into something presentable," Kurapika ordered, "As your punishment."
"Yeah, I earned that," Leorio agreed as Kurapika lead Killua to the bathroom.
"I know how your brain works," Kurapika said as he shut the door, "You wouldn't pick a dress with a bow that's bigger than your own head for the fun of it. What tactical purpose does it serve?"
"Distraction," Killua answered as he shrugged off both of his shirts at once and dropped them on the floor. "If the bouncers see me coming in that, they won't think 'undercover assassin'. They'll think 'high-maintenance teenage girl who's stuck with an idiot of a boyfriend' and look the other way."
"Fair enough," Kurapika agreed as he lifted Killua's clothing from the floor, and folded them with tender hands.
"Stop that," Killua grumbled, "You're not my mom."
"Oh, you think this is bad?" Kurapika started, "Wait until I've applied your makeup and straightened your hair."
"GON!!!" Leorio's voice cut through the walls like the wail of an ambulance, "How on earth did you manage to get the tie sticking out from the back of your suit like it's an honest-to-goodness tail?"
"My dad didn't stick around long enough for him to teach me to be a man," Gon answered sadly—but not quietly, Gon couldn't guarantee silence to save his life.
"I'm sorry," Leorio apologized, "I shouldn't have yelled."
Kurapika facepalmed with a groan, "You might be onto something with the 'idiot of a boyfriend' description, Killua."
Killua pulled the dress on top of his shorts, sliding those down once he was properly covered. "Get the makeover over with."
Kurapika pulled a variety of headbands from his suitcase. "Here," he said, holding out one that matched Killua's dress.
Killua put it in his hair as Kurapika pulled out a hair iron and a small makeup palette. He plugged the hair straightener in to heat up and opened the makeup palette.
"Could you please close your eyes for me, Killua?"
Killua groaned but yielded, allowing Kurapika to gently dab a light pink eyeshadow around the boy's eyelids. He pulled out an eyeliner pen and drew out soft, smudged wings.
"Can I open them now?" Killua whined, but Kurapika could see right through the act. While Killua clearly didn't crave the makeover, his yearning for a gentle contact could not be mistaken—and it was something Gon and his specialty for rough-housing could not provide. But Kurapika most certainly could.
"Yes," Kurapika answered, setting the brushes down on the counter.
"Wow," Killua smirked, "This doesn't look too bad."
"Good thing we didn't have Leorio or Gon do it," Kurapika whispered in Killua's ear.
Killua, in turn, laughed loudly, leading Leorio to bang on the door and ask, "You ladies all right in there?"
"Yes, solely because we're making fun of you!" Killua answered back, leaping towards the door, "I live for nothing more than to hear your pathetic defenses and watch your face turn tomato-red!"
"IT DOES NOT!" Leorio screeched.
"IT DOES, TOO!" Killua retorted, sticking his tongue out at the door as though Leorio had magically developed X-ray vision in the past few minutes.
"Leorio, does this tie look right now?" Gon asked.
"Much better, kid," Leorio sighed, "I'd be proud to call you my son. But we do need to brush your hair."
"You're old enough to be his dad anyways!" Killua shouted through the door as Kurapika wrapped his arms around the young assassin.
"We need to do your blush," Kurapika stated.
"I'M ONLY TWO YEARS OLDER THAN KURAPIKA!"
"EVEN MY GRANDPA LOOKS YOUNGER THAN YOU!" Killua yelled.
"Killua, please," Kurapika begged.
Killua finally stilled. "New plan: you make me look so good that Leorio looks like a moron in comparison."
"You mean, highlight the existing contrast that already exists in your favor?" Kurapika asked with a smirk, holding the blush pad and makeup brush out.
Killua snickered. "This is why you're so much cooler than him."
"Now, you will have to hold still for me. That means no teasing Leorio, no matter how easy he makes it."
"He does make it easy, doesn't he?" Killua agreed, holding perfectly still as Kurapika placed a little bit of blush on Killua's left cheek.
Kurapika stifled his laugh, lest Leorio return the teasing and call them 'ladies' again. It wasn't their fault they could look, and more importantly, act the part. He then dabbed a small bit of blush on Killua's other cheek and stepped back to admire his work.
"Would you like to try the mascara yourself, have me do it, or not worry about it altogether?" Kurapika asked.
Killua held out his hand for the makeup. Kurapika handed the container over wordlessly as he inspected the hair straightener. It was nearly hot enough. He did turn it to the max, worried that Killua's floof of white hair would need a little more than low heat.
"Done," Killua announced.
"How did you do it so fast?" Kurapika wondered, "And so evenly, too?"
"When you can pull a heart out of a guy's chest with minimal blood, the steady hands needed for applying makeup are second nature," Killua bragged softly.
"Fair enough. That is a far more legally acceptable use of those skills, that much is certain," Kurapika agreed. "Are you ready for me to straighten your hair?"
"If you burn me, you're in big trouble," Killua grumbled.
"Noted," Kurapika answered, gently sliding the headband off of Killua's head and sectioning out the hair. He clamped the flat iron down on Killua's first strand, and gently slid it down the boy's short hair. He then did a second pass on the same strand to make sure it was flat.
Half of the process passed in silence, Kurapika dutifully focused on his work, and Killua unwilling to say anything that might make his untrained stylist jump. When Kurapika lifted the hot iron away for a brief second, Killua spoke. "Kurapika, if you ever settle down with someone and have daughters, you'd make a great dad."
The iron slipped from Kurapika's hand, but Killua managed to catch it from the safe end and place it on the counter.
Kurapika felt tears welling in the corner of his eyes.
"I'm sorry," Killua rushed to say, "I didn't mean to make you cry!"
"These are happy tears," Kurapika argued. "I haven't planned that far ahead in life; I've been focused on justice for my clan and simply never thought about what happened after I've reached my goal."
"Something to fight for, then," Killua added, "By taking care of the Phantom Troupe, you can make sure your daughter or daughters grow up in a safe environment."
Kurapika nodded, picking up the hair iron once more, and focusing his energy into taming Killua's hair.
After a few silent minutes, Kurapika set the hair iron down on the counter, turned it off, and unplugged it. Killua picked up the headband and slid it back into his hair.
"Do you want to show the others or salvage your dignity as long as possible?" Kurapika asked.
"I can't roast Leorio without seeing what stupid things he's doing," Killua answered. "And I want to make fun of Gon's suit more."
Killua stepped out of the bathroom, slamming the door in his wake. Leorio's whistle could be heard through the drywall.
"I knew Kurapika was a miracle-worker with you, but this is something else," Leorio announced.
"You look so pretty, like a doll!" Gon shared.
"It's better than looking like a human zucchini," Killua retorted. "And what happened to your hair?"
"A brush and some gel can work wonders on our force of nature," Leorio admitted.
"I think you missed something, and it's either lice or dandruff," Killua pointed out.
Kurapika removed his traditional clothing, once again taking the time to fold each article neatly.
"It's dandruff, and it couldn't be helped," Leorio sighed. "I tried my absolute hardest, I swear. Do you think Kurapika will be mad?"
Leorio, if you keep butchering your jobs, I will cry.
Kurapika slipped into his dress, marveling at how it made him feel like a different person.
"I mean, Gon's always had dandruff, he barely knows how to take a bath. The way you did his hair just makes it's presence more obvious."
These goofballs are going to ruin the mission before it even starts. Well, maybe not Killua, but the other two definitely will.
Kurapika cautiously applied his eyeliner, along with a smoky grey eyeshadow, and a faint hint of blush to his cheeks. He applied a thin layer of lip gloss, realizing belatedly that he had forgotten to share with Killua, but maybe it was for the best. With the luck Kurapika was having, Killua would probably forget it was there and smudge it. Kurapika opened the container of mascara, and applied a thin, even layer to his lashes. It took far longer than Killua's application, but it still came out clean and that was really all he could ask for with how Gon's suit looked.
Kurapika straightened from how he'd leaned closer to the mirror to apply his careful coat of mascara and opened the bathroom door. Leorio's jaw physically dropped open, and Killua remarked, "Shut your mouth, old man. No one wants to see your fake teeth."
Kurapika bit back a chuckle.
"If I didn't know it was you under there, I'd be falling at your feet flirting," Leorio said.
"Are you saying I'm not your type?" Kurapika asked, unable to resist teasing Leorio. The man's actions throughout the day had piled high and caused Kurapika a headache, and Gon's suit was most certainly the worst of it all.
Leorio stammered and sputtered, with Killua watching in sick bemusement before the doctor-in-training squealed, "WOMEN are my type! It's nothing against you!"
Kurapika laughed, as did Killua. "Old man, he has fun teasing you, just like I do," Killua pointed out.
"I'm impressed," Kurapika started, eyeing Gon, "For once, Gon does not look like he's been living in the woods for a week. I heard nothing could be done for the dandruff, though."
"It took a while. You ladies managed to fix your hair and makeup in the time it took to get this goober presentable."
"I was presentable!" Gon exclaimed, only recognizable via his signature neon green and his vibrant brown eyes. "You killed my signature hair!"
"Yeah, Kurapika did that to me, too," Killua complained, "But I still look better than Leorio."
"We need names for you!" Gon noted as Leorio sputtered in the background. Gon looked up with eyes that should have belonged on a golden retriever, "Kurapika and Killua don't sound very feminine."
"I had just been about to say something," Kurapika told him.
"Ooh, I know! You should be Kira!" Gon suggested.
"Gon, do you realize how simple that is?" Kurapika started.
"Simple is what I need," Leorio interjected, wiping his forehead with the end of his tie.
Kurapika bit back a scream as he sighed. "Fine. Kira works."
"And Killua can be Emily Grace!" Gon announced. "Doesn't the name suit the dress and hair perfectly?"
So he manages to come up with a good name for Killua, but not for me. Typical Gon.
"It does," Leorio agreed, "Are you sure you'll remember that?"
"Uh-huh!" Gon nodded, his eyes shining.
"We really ought to go," Kurapika pointed out, directing his thumb at the door. His goofballs nodded, and he herded them out of the hotel room.
The quartet stepped out into the cool, night air, filled with stars, although none were bright compared to Gon's suit. It acted like a massive banner, saying "I'M GON FREECSS, BUT IN FORMAL WEAR!"
As such, Kurapika could barely stand the walk to the bar, ignoring the stares of passersby and focusing on the signs of the shops that lined the street.
"Here we are, at last," Kurapika sighed, waving to the bar. "Leorio and I will walk in first. Then, you and 'Emily' can follow us after five minutes."
Kurapika pulled a picture of a man from his flats. "This is who you're keeping an eye out for. He's my lead. Do not engage him because I don't know how dangerous he is. Simply flag me and I'll handle him. Got it?"
"Yeah!" Gon exclaimed loudly, like the colors of his suit. Killua nodded casually, and Leorio was already sweating.
"If you don't stop sweating in fear," Kurapika hissed as he linked his arm through Leorio's and walked the tall man to the door, "I will give you a reason to."
Leorio wiped his face with his tie and took the lead. "Good evening to you!" he greeted the bouncer loudly, with a terrible fake accent that Kurapika feared would break the illusion before they could even get inside.
"Good evening," the bouncer returned, his voice flat. "Hope you and the missus have a nice night."
Leorio began sweating again as he stepped into the bar, Kurapika hanging from his arm. "Let's sit at the bar," Kurapika whispered, gesturing to two seats in the back of the building.
Leorio nodded, and lead Kurapika to the bar stools. He pulled out the chair for his "date".
I'm impressed. He knows how to act. I guess I was wrong about him, Kurapika thought as he sat in the bar stool. Leorio sat down as well.
"What can I get you?" the bartender asked.
"A bottle of cabernet, please," Leorio answered, his voice nearly a squeal.
"You okay?"
"Stressful day at work," Kurapika answered in a dainty voice. "He's finishing up his last year of doctor's residency. I advised against coming here; he tends to get caught up in the fun of the bar and overdoes it, but he does have to manage his stress somehow. I'm here to make sure he doesn't drink too much."
"Just hurry with the bottle of cabernet, please," Leorio begged.
The bartender turned around and headed to the rack of wine. "Any specific brand?" he asked.
"Finest you've got!" Leorio returned, swiping his card on the little machine before them.
"Coming right up!"
The bartender set both the bottle and a glass in front of Leorio. He also set one in front of Kurapika. "Reaching the last year of residency is something to celebrate. He's come a long way and worked hard to get where is now. In case you want to toast to his success, or simply split the bottle."
"Thank you," Kurapika smiled, reaching over to grab the bottle of wine. He poured Leorio's glass, then his own. He set it on his right, far from Leorio. The man already posed a risk to his mission while sober; the last thing Kurapika needed was to manage the man while he was drunk. "Cheers to your success, darling."
Leorio and Kurapika lifted their glasses of cabernet together, with the latter grimacing at the resounding clink, before tilting their glasses back and pulling them away dry.
The doors to the bar slammed open and Gon's voice cut through the overlapping chatter as he greeted the bouncer. "HI! THIS IS MY DATE, EMILY GRACE!"
Like a record screeching to a stop, the bar fell silent, and every patron turned to look at Gon and Killua. Kurapika and Leorio turned as well, for fear they'd look suspicious if they didn't.
Gon's tie had somehow come loose from under his blazer during the five-minute wait, the buttons had gotten misaligned, while Killua stood there like a dainty doll in his pink dress and heels. At least one of the kids understood the assignment—but maybe it was only for the chocolate robots on the line.
Gon and Killua headed to a booth in the corner, and Kurapika turned to face the bar. Leorio had dragged the bottle back over to him and lifted it to pour himself another. Kurapika delivered a swift kick to the man's shin while he gave a sweet smile that didn't match what he felt at all, and said, "Honey, you really ought to wait. You know you can't handle more than one glass per forty-five minutes. This fine wine will be over your nice suit in fifteen flat."
Leorio flushed red and buried his face in his hands. Thankfully, all of the other patrons were still staring at the kids.
"Is that young girl on her fifth shot already?" a woman asked.
"Go, Emily Grace!" Gon cheered. "That's five down!"
"And her boyfriend looks so weird, no wonder she's downing them like her life depends on it. What must he have done to make her seek the solace of liquor?" a man added.
I didn't think the kids' antics would keep everyone else distracted. I guess gifts can come in neon green paper with a huge pink bow.
"Mr. Waiter," Gon called into the room, standing with his hand raised, "Emily Grace would like another round!"
"Another round?" a man repeated while the woman across from him fainted in the booth where they sat.
"Coming right up," the waiter promised, letting himself behind the counter to get 'Emily Grace' her next round.
Kurapika sighed as he poured himself another glass of the wine Leorio had bought. It would be a shame to waste it. He took a small sip, intending to make the glass last for at least another hour. Beside him, Leorio stammered out a food order to the bartender. The tall, spectacled man turned to Kurapika. "Kira, want any food?"
"No, thank you," Kurapika answered with a smile. "I'll pick off his plate."
The bartender turned away with a happy hum and Kurapika leaned in towards Leorio to whisper. "I need you, Leorio, and I need you sober. Now, stop smiling like you have a stick shoved up your butt before I shove one up there myself."
Kurapika couldn't hear what came next over Gon's loud shout of "Fifteen! Keep going, Emily Grace!"
Leorio, for his part, at least looked a little less scared. He must have decided an angry Kurapika was more terrifying than whatever other dangers awaited him throughout the mission.
Leorio's food arrived, a vibrant charcuterie board with a few grapes on the side. Kurapika pulled one from the stem and popped it in his mouth, solely for acting's sake. He had no intention of eating Leorio's entire dinner. He'd rather keep an eye out for his target.
"These crackers are sooo good," Leorio hissed in Kurapika's ear, "You gotta try one."
"Sweetie, we're in a high-class bar. Please, be proper with your grammar. Or shall I assume the one glass you had is taking its toll?"
"Right," Leorio admitted through gritted teeth holding out the cracker for Kurapika to try. Kurapika took it and bit into it, noting its flavor profile. It was salty, with a hint of garlic and rosemary.
"Twenty-nine!" Gon shouted, and Kurapika turned to find Killua slamming an empty shot glass onto the table. The patrons looked on in horror, watching what they believed to be a dainty, five-foot-two teenage girl pick up what would be her thirtieth shot of liquor.
Since the kids were perfectly parallel with the door, it gave Kurapika a perfect view of who came in next: his target. Kurapika kicked Leorio's leg under the platform of the bar, and stood from his chair.
"I'm not feeling well," Leorio announced, pushing the empty charcuterie board away from himself, "I forgot I don't do too well with excess dairy either."
Kurapika hooked his arm around Leorio's body, who had indeed bent over and clutched at his stomach. As his target talked to the bouncer, Kurapika headed to the front of the bar. "Hello, sir. My date is feeling unwell. We need a taxi and I don't think I can hold him up much longer. Could you please help us?"
Kurapika's target smiled at them. "Sure. Is he a lightweight?"
"Yes," Kurapika answered.
"Go sit, I'll come find you when we get him into the taxi," the man said to his date as he took Leorio from Kurapika. Leorio sent a desperate look Kurapika's way, but Kurapika ignored it.
The woman with Kurapika's target nodded and headed inside. Kurapika pulled out his phone, dialed Gon's, and discreetly clicked the button to hang up with his cheek after the first ring. "Hello, I'd like to call a taxi to 5886 Yorknew Avenue, please. My date is unwell and don't think he can manage the walk back to our hotel."
Out of the corner of his eye, Kurapika witnessed Gon and Killua step out from the bar and into the cold night air.
"Yes, thank you," Kurapika said in his fake phone call before pretending to hang up and tuck it where he'd hidden it before—medical tape holding it in place on his covered thigh.
"How long?" the man asked.
"Shouldn't be long at all," Kurapika answered, "May I ask you some questions?"
"Depends on what kind, I suppose," the man responded, "What do you want to know? My date's beauty routine? I should warn you, you're better off asking her."
"No, questions about the Scarlet Eyes," Kurapika whispered, feeling the anger coursing through his veins simply mentioning them. "I heard that you had information on one of them. I'm… a collector."
In a way, I am. I intend to collect them and return them to the bodies of my brethren.
"Like heck you are!" the man screeched, letting go of Leorio and taking off in a dead sprint. Killua rolled his eyes and chased after the man, once again defying physics by sprinting silently in his four-inch heels.
Not wanting to be left behind, Gon hurried after Killua. Together, with their youthful agility that Kurapika's target lacked, Gon and Killua managed to catch and tackle the man.
Of course Killua would manage to out-maneuver me in high heels, Kurapika thought as he knelt by his target.
"We have no interest in harming you," Kurapika told him, "Just tell us what your information is, and then enjoy the evening with your date. There's a bottle of fine wine on the counter, tell them that Kira says it's okay for you to have."
"A buddy of mine sold them off to the auction house for the auction! That's all I know, I promise!"
Gon and Killua slid off of the man, who stood and jogged back towards the bar. Kurapika fell to his knees as Leorio came up, panting like a dog.
"Kurapika? Are you okay?" Gon asked, kneeling by the blond.
Kurapika gasped for air as he buried his face in his hands to hide the tears streaming down his cheeks and ruining the makeup he'd taken such care to apply.
"What's wrong?" Leorio questioned, kneeling from behind because Killua had beaten him to Kurapika's other side.
"He gave me intel I already knew," Kurapika whispered, unable to see anything besides the eerie red light his eyes provided. "This was all for nothing."
"Not if you ask me!" Leorio crowed, "You reached out to us, to me and my pathetic acting skills because you trusted us. Sure, it didn't end up the way we hoped. Sure, Gon looks like he belongs in a vegetable garden. So what if Killua looks like a doll for little girls? You showed immense trust in your friends, and we will always come to your aid, no matter what. We will help you find the rest of them!"
Leorio squeezed Kurapika tightly from behind, and Gon and Killua did the same from the sides.
"We're going to help you find the other pairs, I promise," Leorio whispered, and Kurapika allowed himself to finally break, fully clad in a woman's dress and messy makeup, but more importantly, in his friends' loving, supportive embrace.