Work Text:
Winter in Chicago wasn’t for the faint of heart. Annie knew this before she and Elijah moved up there.
He did his best to prepare her, making sure they had the proper wardrobe, telling her all the things he’d learned when he and Stack lived up there in their 20s. She heard every word he said and took it very seriously.
Still, nothing prepared her for a cold like nothing she’d ever experienced before. There hadn’t been a time where she missed home more, especially since it’d only been a month since they’d come back up north from visiting home.
It was early February, and though it was warmer than it had been over the past few weeks, it was still cold as hell. As more time passed, Annie was having a harder time pretending like it wasn’t weighing on her.
They’d spent the better part of December down south for the holidays, and coming back to snow was cute at first, but as time passed, it became more and more draining for her.
Elijah knew she wouldn’t be too fond of the cold weather, she didn’t even like when it got cold in Mississippi. When they talked over the offer he received in the windy city, he made sure she took the weather into consideration before making her decision. If she said no, they’d still be down south, though, and she didn’t want to stop him from reaching the level of success he aspired to obtain.
He could see the change, too. Maybe it had to do with the fact that a lot of Annie’s time was spent out and about. This new opportunity allowed them to live well with just him working, something he’d always wanted for her and them.
They were coming up on one year in the city, and things were going great at first, they moved up there near the end of April, right as it was warming up. Annie was enjoying the city, becoming acclimated fairly quickly, in spite of the homesickness that tried to take hold.
She found new spots to eat, places to shop, and made a few friends all within the first few months of them being there. It seemed like she was enjoying the city more than he ever did when he and Stack were younger.
But as the year came to an end and the temperatures began to drop, he started noticing her staying in more. Annie, who often spent weekends dragging him around the city and often enjoyed a night out with her friends, was not declining their invitations and settling into the corner of the couch.
Elijah poked and prodded, wanting to make sure there wasn’t anything he’d missed, but she just chalked it up to things slowing down as the season changed.
Deep down, though, Annie was growing frustrated. Not with him, or even them living up there. She was frustrated with the fact that she felt like she wasn’t doing enough. The cold was more than she could actually have imagined, and she dreaded stepping out of the warmth of their home.
As a result, she wasn’t doing the things she’d grown to love, or the things that gave her a sense of fulfillment. Sometimes he was able to convince her to run some errands with him on the weekend, but for the most part, she’d choose to stay in.
It wasn’t until he overheard her on the phone with her sister that he learned how she was actually feeling.
“I don’t know, Celeste. It feels like I’m starting to let life pass me by, and I don’t know where to start to fix it.”
He felt a lot of different feelings as he processed her words. He knew something was wrong, but she wouldn’t tell him what was going on. He wanted to know why, but that could wait. More than anything, he wanted her to get her spark back.
So here he was on a Saturday afternoon, setting up a bunch of different things in their sitting room. The coffee table was moved aside and replaced with canvases for painting. That was the easy part. The hard part was getting Annie out of the house while he set everything up.
One conversation with her friends was all that was needed to all but drag her out of the house. Elijah paid for all of them to attend a perfume making class Annie told him about a few months prior, but never got around to scheduling.
While they were out doing that, he held Celeste hostage on the phone as he picked up all the necessary things to make her favorite snacks before going home to make them. It took him a few hours, but he’d managed to get everything set up with time to spare.
Annie texted him saying she was on her way home just as he was pulling the last tray from the oven. He shot her a quick response before finishing setting things up.
He stepped back and looked around the room, satisfied with how things turned out. A small smile dances on his lips, but there’s a bundle of nerves forming in his stomach. He hoped today would be enough to pull her out of the spiral she was sending herself into, or at least enough to kick start the process.
He looks out the window just as he’s about to let his thoughts take over, and he notices the light snowfall. He thought back to when he and Stack first moved to Chicago; they were just two 23 year olds, trying to find themselves while sticking together. It was Stack’s idea, and Smoke remembers how he felt that first year. Stack thrived in the big city, while Smoke struggled to find his footing.
It took him a long time to get comfortable. He was against talking through it with Stack at first, still holding onto the protective instinct he had when it came to his little brother. He didn’t want to burden him with his struggle, but he also knew he couldn’t do it alone.
He knows he wouldn’t have lasted the five years they spent up here if he tried to deal with it alone, and he couldn’t sit here and watch his wife struggle in the same way.
He takes a deep breath and glances around the room again. His eyes land on the fireplace that they hadn’t gotten around to using just yet. Elijah made sure to have it inspected when it started to get cold, and he’d just gotten some fresh firewood, but there hadn’t been a moment where they’d thought to use it. He couldn’t think of a better moment than now as he glanced back out at the snowfall.
He made quick work of adding some wood to the fireplace and getting the flame to catch.
Keys can be heard jingling in the door just as he stops stoking the flames. Annie steps inside, letting out a deep sigh. She puts her bag on the table by the door and steps out of her boots, then she starts to unwrap the layers she wore to shield herself from the cold, which never failed to chill her to her bones.
When she’s unwrapped herself from her scarf and pulled off her hat, the smell of chocolate hit her, and she froze. Next, she heard the faint crackle of the flames, and there was a soft ache forming in her chest.
She pulls off her coat and hangs it up before walking to the sitting room, and she can’t stop her smile from taking over her face.
“Lijah, what’s this?” she asks, making him turn towards her.
He smiles softly. “Just a few of your favorite things.
Annie slowly makes her way toward him, the smile on her face now accompanied by misty eyes. Her arms wrap around his neck when she comes to a stop in front of him.
“Why you doin’ all this?” she asks him. “Jazzy told me you paid for all of us to go out today, then I come home to all this,” she says, gesturing towards the spread of food.
“I heard you on the phone with CeCe a couple weeks ago.”
Annie looks away from him, knowing exactly what conversation he was referring to.
Smoke gently grabs her chin and guiding her eyes back to his.
“Why you ain’t tell me how you been feeling, mama?” he inquires, and it’s then that a tear falls.
“I don’t know,” she starts. Elijah wipes her tears away before they can make it down her face.
“I guess I didn’t fully know how to describe how I felt. I didn’t want you thinkin’ I don’t want to be here either, because I do. It’s just… a lot. And it’s so cold all the time.”
Elijah nods, planting a soft kiss on her forehead.
“I don’t want you shielding my feelings if it means you not expressing yours. You know you and your happiness are my top priorities. If you told me you wanted to leave tomorrow, I’d be packing right now.”
Annie lets out an amused huff.
“I’m serious, mama. None of this matters to me as much as you do. Yeah, I like my job, but I love you more. And I remember the first winter I spent up here. I wanted to beat Stack’s ass for picking here of all places, and I never really got used to them until the last year we lived up here.”
“How come you never told me about that?” she questions with raised eyebrows.
“Because it ain’t somethin’ I can really look back fondly on. I almost let my thoughts drown me. If Stack wasn’t there to pull me out and through it all, I wouldn’t have lasted up here.”
Annie nods, her thumb moving in a soothing rhythm against the back of his head.
“And if you feel like you wanna go out and do something else to keep yourself busy, don’t stop yourself,” he adds. “I know we talked about you stayin’ home while I work, but I don’t want you feeling like you stuck inside.”
Annie shakes her head.
“It’s okay, Elijah, I just need to get out of my head. Today made me feel good, and I see you made them cookies I like, so I know it’s only gonna get better.”
He smiles softly at her words. Both of them know it’ll take some time for her to get out of the funk she’s been in, but now that he knows what it is she’s feeling, he can be there how he wants to.
“That’s the goal. Now we can eat first, or we can paint first,” he says, gesturing as he speaks.
“Or we can just eat cookies and watch a movie. Whatever you wanna do.”
Annie looks around the room once more, the warmth of the fire mixing with the thoughtfulness of his gestures today and wrapping around her heart. She plants another kiss on his cheek.
“Let’s eat first. Then we can paint and listen to that record you picked up last week.”
Elijah nods and guides her over to the spread of food. Her eyes widen as she takes in the assortment of treats and sandwiches he’d laid out, which by their appearance she can tell were homemade.
“No way you made all this, Elijah,” she exclaims.
“I did. CeCe was cussin’ me out on the phone until I got it all right,” he says, making Annie let out a real laugh.
The sound of her laughter is enough to ease the knot that had formed in his gut, and he finds himself smiling at her.
“I love you, baby,” she tells him, pecking his lips before grabbing a plate.
“I love you, too, Mama.”