Work Text:
Naim stared down at his notebook, filled with half-baked notes and doodles. He slowly pulled at the page, watching as a small tear slithered upwards, splitting his creations in half. He glanced up at the clock again, the 7th time in the last 10 minutes, sighing when he saw that no time had passed. His teacher droned on, reading out a textbook he had already read before. Sometimes he wondered if teachers were even necessary when they did that.
His knee bounced restlessly under the desk while he searched for something to distract him, the windows had the curtains drawn closed, every student was sitting silently staring at their paper, the walls were bleak and beige. He was worried he might actually lose it if he stayed here for another moment. He raised his hand weakly, awkwardly asked to leave and slipped out with eyes on his back.
He naturally walked fast, his dad used to say he must've been a busy man in his past life. Now he forced himself to walk slowly, dragging his feet through the grass between the pavement and counting in his head before each step. He skipped past the closest bathroom, walking behind the building planning on looping around to prolong this as much as possible. He froze when two boys came into view, one leaning against the old brick as the other talked at him, looking frustrated with his hands shoved into his pockets. Their attention shot to Naim the second they heard the scuff of his shoes on the ground.
“What cunt?” One spat out at him, Naim recognised him from church and had had the misfortune of bumping into him a few times. He was sure his name was Hunter. He swallowed thickly, raising his hands slightly to feign innocence before stepping back to turn around.
“Wait,” the one against the wall spoke, this one Naim didn't know the name of, but he knew who he was. He had seen him around plenty, they shared some classes. This was the boy who was making him fail biology right now. The stupid blonde who made it impossible to focus on the innards of a frog.
“Come here.” He gestured over, entirely casual while Hunter stared at him confused. Naim felt the same way, but would never refuse. He stepped over, closing the space between the three of them. The two boys eyed each other, seemingly having a conversation without words. He swore the blonde winked, but it might've just been the light.
“You smoke?” He asked once Naim was close enough, tilting his head against the wall making his curls fall over his forehead. Naim's stomach twisted at the sight, he was so painfully stunning. The sun peaked through the trees above them, his tan skin and sandy hair glowing under the warmth. Naim nodded, despite the fact that he had only smoked once. Before he moved here, a few of his friends practically forced him to try it, telling him it was a ‘right of passage’.
“Cool, I sell.” He pulled a small bag out of the inside pocket of his jacket, passing it to Hunter smoothly, while Hunter still looked a few steps behind. Once Hunter took the bag, he tapped his shoulder, causing him to give a quick thanks and turn away. Naim's eyes flicked between them, Hunter didn't seem like the smoking type to him, but what did he know?
“You can try before you buy,” he continued his sales pitch, “if you want. You can meet me after school and I’ll give you some. I know a place to go too.” He spoke flat and casual, but Naim noticed the way his shoulders fell slightly, the way he shoved his shaking hands into his pockets. Naim ran through the scenario in his head, confused as to how he even got here. He nodded slowly, finding the boy's eyes again.
“Uh– Yeah, that sounds cool.” He tried to match the nonchalance. “Oh uh… I actually don't even know your name.” He scrunched his nose up, cringing at his own words. He had always hated asking people for their names, he felt like he should already know. The boy smirked at his words, some cockiness sneaking onto his expression.
“Really? I know yours.” The boy looked Naim up and down, if he didn't know any better he would say he was being flirted with. The way he raised his brow slightly, the way he bit his tongue as he teased, the slightly condescending but very attractive look in his eyes, Naim had seen it all—at clubs in the city that he was much too young to be at, with boys who were much older than him.
“I mean, it's pretty easy to remember when your name is name.” He shrugged, pushing himself off the wall. Naim let out a shaky laugh, praying that the heat he was feeling wasn't showing on his face.
“Mines Ryan, by the way.” He grinned before turning away, following the same dirt path that Hunter had back to the classrooms, not letting another word be spoken. Naim felt dizzy and out of breath as he watched him disappear around the corner.
He found himself watching the clock more after that, not because he was bored, but for once he actually had something to look forward to after class. His mouth was dry and his hands were clammy as he trudged past the school gates. When he looked up from the pavement he saw Ryan already there, leaning against the bike racks with his arms crossed. He was staring down at the ground, clearly deep in thought. Naim kicked his shoe against the ground, trying to subtly make a noise to pull him out of his trance.
Ryan's eyes flicked up at him, the crease between his brows quickly fading when he found Naim, he stood up straight, a small grin playing on his lips. He pulled his bike out wordlessly, motioning for Naim to follow suit. They walked beside their bikes without speaking, Naim slowly began regretting his decision. All day he had been making up scenarios of how this would go, at some point he forgot that this was essentially a drug deal with a stranger who didn't like him. Once they were well past the school Ryan jumped on his bike, pausing and eyeing Naim—waiting for him to copy.
They rode through the empty streets, some of which Naim had never seen before. He followed Ryan with blind confidence, a few times his mind warned him that he was being isolated and was going to be murdered, but part of him didn't really care anymore. Despite the awkward silence, it was strangely comforting to be with someone. He had been completely alone since he moved here, even in rooms full of people he felt desolate.
Even if Ryan wasn't speaking to him, he still looked over every few minutes and gave a small smile when he saw he was still following. Sometimes he would even slow down, smoothly fitting next to Naim on the road before speeding ahead again. Naim felt acknowledged, like someone actually knew he was here, like someone's eyes were actually taking him in.
Eventually they passed all the houses and slid onto a dirt road, where Ryan skidded to a stop. Naim was grateful he was a bit behind, otherwise they would have collided. Ryan dragged his bike to a fence post, carelessly tossing it and huffing when it slid to the floor with a clatter, he slid off his jacket and tossed it over the handlebars. Naim gently leant his bike against the pole, feeling Ryan watching his every movement. He waited patiently for Naim to prop his bike up, only turning to walk when Naim's full attention was back on him.
“So… where are we going?” Naim walked a few steps behind Ryan, unsure and no longer able to pretend he didn't care. Ryan slowed, spinning so he was facing Naim but continuing to walk backwards. Naim didn't stop either, despite his fear and confusion he couldn't bring himself to. Part of him was scared that if he stopped Ryan would keep going without him and he would miss his chance.
“I told you I know a place.” Ryan's shirt was half untucked—as it always was—and a few too many buttons were undone, causing the collar to slide down and show his collarbone. His hands were in his pockets and he moved far too smoothly for someone walking backwards through a field.
“Right– That doesn't really tell me anything though does it?” Naim's steps quickened, matching Ryan's pace again as they walked across from each other. Ryan shrugged, a cocky grin on his face, like he knew Naim would follow him no matter what he said. He spun back around, not missing a step when he swooped down and grabbed a stick, swinging it against the ground so it made a cracking sound.
They walked in silence again, Naim fidgeting with his hands as they got further and further away from roads or people. His phone had no service, which wasn't rare in Bandi, but still bothered him. The dirt path slowly faded out into overgrown grass and tall eucalyptus trees, a long fence stretched beside them, barbed wire twisting across it. Naim looked up at the trees while he walked, watching birds hop from branch to branch until he suddenly collided with something in front of him, air knocked out of him. Ryan stood with his arm out, blocking Naim from taking another step.
“What the fuck–” Naim coughed out, stumbling back annoyed before his eyes met what Ryan had stopped him from walking on.
A long brown snake sat in the grass, running through the blades, blending in with the dirt beneath it. Its mouth was uncomfortably stretched around a toad, which kicked and fought slowly, as if it had been at it for hours. Flies buzzed around the scene, landing on the toad and in the snake's eyes. Naim's stomach twisted, a wave of nausea instantly crashing over him. He glanced at Ryan, who stared down with entertainment. The snake retracted, attempting to force the toad down its throat, retracting its jaw around it as an attempt to crush it.
Ryan poked at it with the stick he had been carrying, causing the snake to flinch away. The whole thing was pitiful, Naim pitied the toad, who was going to die of exhaustion long before the snake actually consumed it. He pitied the snake, who was just trying to survive in the only cruel way it knew. He swatted at Ryan's arm, pushing the stick away from them. Ryan let out a small chuckle, pulling his arm away just to move forward again, tapping at the snakes head with the stick.
“Fuck– Don’t!” Naim pushed him back harder this time, feeling a knot in his throat like he was going to throw up. Half of him was scared of the snake, his natural instinct telling him to step away in case it abandoned the toad and attacked one of them instead, but the other half was scared for the snake. It had done nothing to deserve Ryan's teasing, already weak and struggling. Ryan laughed again, turning to face Naim with a mocking look before shaking his head and falling back, going back to swinging the stick aimlessly. Naim took another look at the pathetic animals below him, in his mind he apologised to the toad and wished the snake the best. Only when it came too sickening to watch did he step away as well, rushing to catch up with Ryan again.
He followed him out of the field and into a large spread of tall trees, twisting and towering over them as they walked deeper into the bush. Naim slowed down a bit, carefully walking over sticks and branches. The interaction looped in his mind and he was suddenly filled with fear again, he didn't understand how someone could be amused by that. Ryan disappeared into the trees, it was only the crunching of his feet that continued to direct Naim. After a while the crunching stopped, Naim stayed in the direction he believed Ryan went, less confident without the guidance. That was until Ryan's head popped around a tree, a gentle smile lingered as he waved Naim over.
A large run down building came into view, broken windows and rusted tin walls. Ryan turned, watching for Naim's reaction, seeming impressed with himself for finding it. Naim had to admit it was a cool place to hang out, but the rational part of his brain wizzed with warnings about bugs, dirt and broken glass. Ryan stepped over to what looked like a vent cover, pushing it up and revealing a grate with a view inside. They peered into it, shoulders brushing when they both crouched down. Ryan stepped back, analysing the windows and ledges of the building. Naim moved back behind him, putting some distance between them as he also took it in.
“Recon I could get up there?” He spoke, referring to the rusted scaffolding that led to a shattered window covered with tarp. Naim stayed quiet while he scanned the path, getting nervous at the idea of climbing it. When Naim didn't respond, Ryan turned back to look at him, frowning at the reserved look on Naim's face.
“What?” He muttered, eyes flickering around Naim's expression, realisation beginning to form. “Snakes and heights?” He teased, straightening his back and nodding. He turned back to the scaffolding, muttering something to himself as he began to climb it easily. Naim watched the rust mark his shirt, but his eyes trailed down his arms, watching his forearms flex as he pulled himself upwards. None of the scaffolding gave way, it creaked slightly, but nothing broke. Naim figured if it could hold Ryan it could hold him.
Once Ryan was on top, pushing the tarp out of the way and gazing into the mill, Naim huffed and forced himself to step over. Faux confidence ran through him as he struggled up, following Ryan's footing exactly. He grunted as he pushed himself upwards, causing Ryan's attention to snap over. He chuckled and quickly moved to help Naim up, locking their arms and pulling him up the last part. He climbed through the window, moving to show Naim the large shelf that sat beside it. He jumped down, the sound of his shoes hitting the ground echoed through the dust. Naim followed his actions through the window, carefully lowering himself down from the shelf rather than jumping, not wanting to break his ankle.
“Cool right?” Ryan kicked at some old wood on the ground, peeking through the old shelves and machinery. Naim watched him curiously as he pieced together the situation.
“You haven't been here before?” Naim asked, pushing around a rock on the floor, carefully avoiding touching the spiderwebs that thickly coated the walls.
“Nah, I knew it was here I’ve just never been.” He tossed the stick he had been carrying around previously across the room, grinning when it ricocheted off the wall. He turned to Naim, smile faltering when he saw his unimpressed expression. He grabbed a rock from beside his feet and tossed it in Naim's direction, not close enough to accidentally hit him though. Naim watched it crash against the old machinery, denting it before thudding onto the floor and breaking in half.
He mimicked Ryan, grabbing a plank of wood from what looked like an old counter top and tossing it in a random direction. It disappeared into the other end of the mill, followed by a loud clatter and the sound of things falling over. Ryan chuckled, moving to pick up a much bigger rock. Naim wondered if he was doing it on purpose, trying to one up him or show him that he was stronger despite the fact that that was obvious. After a short moment of struggle, he managed to pick up the rock, using his whole body to throw it at a random shelf. When it hit the metal, random items collapsed into a pile on the ground, dust and debris spread through the air like smoke, causing Naim to cough and squint.
Ryan found it extremely amusing, quickly stepping over to meet Naim, shielding his eyes from the dirt. Once it settled he looked at Naim, laughing giddily once they made eye contact. Naim couldn't help but giggle as well, more at him than with him. Naim's eyes wandered to a pipe connector on the ground, for a moment he wondered if he could pick it up—but he quickly realised there was no chance. He glanced at Ryan, who had found another stick and was using it to poke some random crates. He wondered if Ryan would be able to pick it up. He bit back a smirk as he shuffled over to the piece, making enough noise to get Ryan's attention.
He leant down, awkwardly trying to find a way to grip the pipe and lift it. His arms shook as he pulled at it, managing to lift it barely 3 centimeters off the ground before his forearms went weak and it crashed back to the floor. Ryan cackled at him, shoving him aside, falling for Naim's perfectly crafted trap.
“What makes you think you can pick that up?” He mocked as he took Naim's place beside the pipe. Naim stepped back, his mouth a little dry as he watched it unfold. He felt like a bit of a pervert for doing it but it wasn't his fault that Ryan was so easy.
Ryan leant down, getting a grip on the pipe around the edges and taking a breath before tugging up. He let out a soft grunt, his muscles flexed–shaking slightly as it lifted off the floor. Naim smirked, having to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing, he was honestly impressed with how far Ryan got before it crashed back down to the floor, it was heavier than it looked.
Ryan scoffed as he stood back up, shaking his arms out and rolling his eyes, clearly embarrassed at his failure. Naim wouldn't consider it a failure though, he had succeeded in getting exactly what he wanted. He let out a soft laugh while Ryan kicked at the pipe, he glared up at Naim, but the sting behind his eyes faded quickly. He moved around the room, scanning for something else to entertain himself with. Only then did Naim remember why they were actually here.
“I thought you had weed.” Naim questioned weakly, watching Ryan clamber over random piles of rock and wood. He froze and turned to him, eyes wide, he quickly patted down his pockets before letting out a dramatic huff.
“I left it in my jacket pocket.” Ryan groaned, almost sounding rehearsed. Naim frowned at him, he wasn't sure what was going on but he was sure something was afoot. Ryan shrugged and continued to climb over random objects back towards Naim—who watched him with scrutinising eyes, he felt like his brain was just now booting up as it clicked together.
“You never had weed, did you?” Naim stepped forward, unsure of his confrontation but committing to it anyway. He didn't understand why Ryan would lie about it but all signs were pointing towards that. The way Ryan hesitated in his walking before guiltily looking away only added to that.
“You've never smoked, have you?” He retorted, shoving his hands into his pockets and stepping into Naim's personal space, like he was trying to intimidate him. Naim hated that it worked, he had to fight the instinct telling him to step back and cower. He ignored the—correct—accusation.
“Why did you lie? Did you drag me out here to kill me?” Naim asked, half sarcastic and half serious, knowing in a place like this the chance was never zero. Ryan scowled at him, eyes flicking over him like he thought Naim just said the dumbest thing he’d ever heard.
“Why did you lie?” Ryan paused, stepping forward again, if he got any closer their shoes would be touching. “Just so you could hang out with me?” That accusation caught Naim off guard, now he stepped back. He frowned and shook his head, attempting to portray confusion despite it being another true accusation.
Ryan nodded teasingly, stepping forward again to reclaim the same distance. He shoved Naim by the shoulders, making him stumble backwards. Naim attempted to counter, using his whole body weight to push Ryan back. It worked enough to make him lose his balance, but he quickly recaught it and launched at Naim, tackling him to the ground in seconds. Naim rolled them over like a crocodile so he was perched on top of him, striking at him whenever he could. Ryan easily pushed him off, climbing on top of him and taking back the dominance. He grabbed Naim's flailing wrists and pinned them down harshly at the sides of his head, not budging in the slightest no matter how hard Naim pushed, pulled or wiggled. He watched boredly as Naim tried to escape, tightening his knees around him when he tried to slide out.
“Fucks your issue?” He spat out, grip on Naim's wrists tightening as he slammed them against the concrete again. Naim gave up, feeling like the toad from earlier, dying of exhaustion before his opponent had done anything. His breaths came out quick and uneven as he glared up at Ryan, completely helpless beneath him. The sick and sadistic part of his brain whispered that it was hot, being pinned down and taken control of. He swallowed thickly as he pushed those thoughts away, focusing on the fact that this could be a real threat. He realised Ryan had been waiting for him to calm down, when he finally stilled and his breathing relaxed Ryan spoke again.
“Why’d you lie?” Ryan asked again, breathing heavy while his eyes flicked around Naim's face. Naim frowned, the air in his lungs refused to move at a normal pace, coming out shaking. Why did I lie? Naim almost laughed at the question, if he told Ryan the truth he would never live it down. He didn't even know the full truth, there was just something so captivating about Ryan, he couldn't say no. The room went completely silent, the grip on his wrists loosened enough that he could pull away if he wanted too, but he didn't. Ryan's eyes flickered downwards before darting back up, he repeated this a few times until he made up his mind.
He dipped down, closing the space between them swiftly. Naim froze, unable to compute what was happening. He tried to pull back but his head was already pressed against the concrete, he turned to the side as an attempt to escape. Ryan pulled back just as quickly as he had gone down, expression flooding with panic. At first Naim thought he was mocking him, hate-criming him in some strange elaborate way, like the second he reciprocated he would be shamed for it. Now, as he looked into Ryan’s big nervous eyes, he couldn't find any hate. He saw affection, but mostly he saw fear. Ryan’s hands slipped off his wrists shakily, he moved again, pulling further away like he was going to get up. Naim did the only thing he could think of.
He reached up, fingers twisting into Ryan's hair as he tugged him back down with urgency. Their lips met again, messy and charged. Ryan let out a small satisfied huff, like he had been holding his breath. Naim's leg slid between Ryans, knee pushing him forward, stopping him from escaping. Ryan's hand cupped Naim's face, nails running over his ear lobe as he trailed it up into his hair. Naim let out small whimpers involuntarily, already so undone by it all.
Ryan's hand left his hair, pushing against the cold concrete to roll them over, pulling Naim up with him. His leg hooked over Naim's, drawing them closer together. They broke apart again, a nervousness filled the space between them as they took each other in, Ryan couldn't bite back his smile, a look of pure fondness. They came together slower, appreciating the closeness and comfort. Ryan's hand trailed from Naim's hair down his arm, settling on his waist. Naim copied the action, fingers tracing every muscle he had been fantasising about on Ryan's arm.
Naim didn't realise Ryan's hand lowering, playing with the hem of his shirt before dipping further. His breath caught when he felt it, pulling back for a moment suddenly feeling very shy with the attention on him. He had started getting familiar with the teasing look on Ryan's face, the smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. When Naim looked up at him, the look disappeared and shifted to something far more intimate. He leant back in slowly, breathing into Naim's mouth before finally fluttering his eyes closed again, pushing them back to the ground. He pressed the palm of his hand down, causing Naim to groan and roll his hips forward.
The heat twisting through his body was a warning, he knew he should stop, he couldn't actually do this in a dirty old warehouse. But every time he pulled away Ryan looked up at him with bright blue eyes through blonde eyelashes, his nose and cheeks dusted a gorgeous shade of pink, and every time he leaned back in. He arched his back against the hard floor, knowing his shoulder blades would hurt later. Ryan glided down, kissing down his jawline and licking up his neck. Naim took deep breaths, hand twisting into Ryan's hair and the back of his jacket, completely focused on not embarrassing himself.
Both a blessing and a curse, a loud noise startled them apart. A bird flapped out from beneath the shelf they were next to, making them both flinch and shield themselves. It clattered against the metal poles, loud rattling echoed through the building before the bird successfully navigated its way out of the window and it fell back into silence. After a moment of figuring out what happened, Ryan suddenly broke, keeling over and cackling at the shocked expression on Naim's face. Naim soon followed, cracking the second they made eye contact. The tension had been fully broken now, they were both far too aware of themselves to go back.
“Sorry I lied.” Ryan muttered once the laughter died down, chewing his lip and spinning around a small rock he had found. Naim looked at him—really looked at him. He seemed so much smaller now, not so intimidating when he wasn't pretending to be nonchalant. Sat cross legged with his hair in his eyes, looking down to avoid eye contact. A soft smile found its way to Naim's face. He hoped he could get to know this Ryan.
“You could have just asked to hang out, you know.” Naim responded, acting like it was a casual thing as he scooted closer. Ryan looked up at him without moving his head, pouting like a puppy.
“You’ve never smoked though, have you?” He grinned as he asked it, pointy canines fully on show. Naim shyly shook his head, not caring to hide the guilty grin on his face.
“So you're telling me I should have just asked to hang out, but you also wouldn't just ask to hang out.” Ryan kicked at him, moving closer again so they were sitting right across from each other. Cross legged like they were sitting in a playground.
“Yeah well… fuck off.” Naim spat, no real venom behind it. Ryan laughed again, throwing his head back, teeth on show. Naim mentally screenshotted the image, Ryan completely loose in their new secret place, with the orange sunlight highlighting him in all the right ways, after lying just to spend time with him. Because he liked Naim and he wanted to hang out with him— because he wanted to kiss him the whole time. Naim bit his cheek, feeling his face heat up at the thought of it. Thinking back to how stupid he was for thinking Ryan was ever a threat.
They walked back through the long dead grass as the sun went down, discussing random things like classes at school and their favourite songs. At some point Ryan found another stick, poking Naim in the stomach and ribs with it until he snatched it away and threw it into the treeline, ignoring Ryan's pout. Their bikes were in sight again, on the horizon, still leaning against the fence post.
“The snakes gone,” Ryan mumbled as he searched in the grass, nosily ducking down to make sure he wasn't missing anything.
“I hope it's okay,” Naim said quietly, barely audible–more to himself than Ryan. Ryan stood up, turning to face him, confusion lacing his face.
“I thought you were scared of it?” Ryan began walking backwards again, in favour of keeping eye-contact with Naim over not tripping over. Naim shrugged.
“I mean I was. But I still don't want it to get hurt, it wasn't doing anything wrong.” He explained casually. He had often been told he was too sensitive, and he usually felt silly when he talked about his emotions, but Ryan's eyes were focused and caring, he didn’t feel mocked at all.
“It was eating another animal alive, isn't that wrong?” Ryan sounded genuinely curious, not argumentative. Naim knew he didn't care about the toad, he just wanted to talk.
“It’s not wrong, it's natural. It can't help doing that, it has no choice. If it tried to stop itself it would probably die of hunger.” Naim loved philosophical questions, he always found putting human morals on animals was an interesting topic. He expected Ryan to respond by furthering the conversation, but he stopped dead in his tracks at Naim's sentence. Naim frowned, almost bumping into him because of how close they were walking. He took a deep breath before shaking his head and continuing to walk. Naim did not follow, standing still for a moment longer with clear confusion on his face.
“Do you think that's true for everything?” Ryan mumbled, walking slower, posture lacking confidence. Naim wasn't sure what he meant, stepping to catch up with him and tilting his head to the side to tell him to keep talking.
“The last bit. About hunger– Do you think if someone forced themselves to deny their hunger for something they were born wanting, they would die?” His tone was completely new to Naim, scared and unsure. Naim's eyes flicked between his, reading the melancholy expression with uncertainty. He just nodded in response, unable to form a sentence that properly responded to what Ryan was really asking.
Ryan nodded back, stumbling a little as he turned back around. Naim stared at the back of his hair, wishing he could look through it and read his mind. He wondered what Ryan feared in the middle of the night, what he thought about in church–what he prayed about. He hoped he would one day share his woes.
As an attempt to take his mind off it, Naim ran at him, half jumping on his back and half pulling them both down to the ground. Ryan, clearly caught off guard, tripped over. He made a clear effort to keep Naim from hitting the ground first, twisting so he landed on top of him before quickly flipping him so he was underneath him. A relieved laugh slipped out of him, he held Naim down with no intention, gazing at him fondly before rolling back off.
“Dickhead.”