Chapter Text
Mobius jolts awake to the sound of a cry. As he comes to, blinking, it continues, muffled behind the walls of his apartment. Furrowing his brow, he peels the duvet off his body and goes to investigate. Exiting his small studio, the TVA analyst listens to the noises, and realises they are coming from next door - Loki’s apartment.
He takes a deep breath and turns the doorknob to peer into the dark room. The light of the corridor casts onto Loki’s bed, where Mobius can make out a tangle of his body and the sheets and his unruly black hair atop his pillows. Stepping into the room, his eyes adjust to Loki’s fists clenching the duvet and the pained expression on his unconscious face. He cries out once more and continues to mutter unintelligibly.
“Loki?” Mobius whispers, “Loki, hey-” he crouches down by the bed. “It’s okay, Loki,”
He sobs again. Mobius grimaces. It’s a harrowing sound. He places his palm on Loki’s shoulder and squeezes it lightly. “Loki, you’re having a nightmare,”
Loki grunts. Mobius traces his thumb over Loki’s shirt.
“Loki-”
Loki shoots up. His eyes are wide, bloodshot, and he is gasping for air.
“Hey, Loki, you’re okay,” Mobius reaches out his hands, “you were just having a nightmare, I’m here, it’s okay,”
Loki pants, sweat beading down his temple, glistening in the yellow light from the hallway.
A few moments pass, and he swallows, turning to face Mobius. “I’m fine,”
“Loki, it’s fine, I’m just here to make sure you’re okay,” he pleads, “I’m not here to judge you,”
“I’m fine-”
“No you’re not and that’s-”
“I said I’m fine,” Loki snarls.
Mobius pauses, draws a sharp breath. “Okay,”
“I’d rather you go,” he continues, looking away.
“Loki, I don’t-”
“Please.”
“Loki, please, I just wanted to check you were okay, that’s all,”
He doesn’t say anything.
Mobius sighs. “Okay.” He admits defeat and retreats to the door, glancing back to watch an exhausted Loki turn on his side to face away from him.
The next morning, the two men both arrive at their desks on time, as usual, just as the TVA is ramping up for another day of work. Mobius debates whether to bring up last night’s events, watching Loki as he sorts through the files on his desk for any sign of acknowledgement. Just as he opens his mouth to say something, Casey appears.
“Guys, B-15 needs you,” he exclaims, “she’s found a He Who Remains Variant posing some problems in a branch timeline,”
Loki and Mobius glance at each other before jumping out of their seats and punching the location into the TemPad.
The mission unfolds as expected. They join B-15 down on an alternate Earth to prevent the events that led this variant to becoming a notable threat for a multiversal war. These situations are mostly like clockwork for the trio since Sylvie killed the original He Who Remains and went off-grid. There’s no sign of any tension between them or any recognition from Loki regarding the night before.
Mobius has watched Loki’s entire life on the sacred timeline and knows him almost inside-out. Loki is aware of this. Perhaps last night didn’t bother him - he knows that Mobius has seen the traumatic events that he would have been reliving in his sleep. Mobius considers that it’s not playing on the god’s mind at all, and there was nothing to acknowledge anyway. It was a one-off occurrence, and Loki didn’t want the analyst privy to his vulnerable state. Nothing to worry about, and it’ll be swept under the rug.
Eventually, the day’s work is done, and everyone has clocked off for the night. Mobius rinses off under the shower. Beyond the pounding of the water on the shower tray, he swears he hears crying. He turns the water off and listens. On the other side of the wall he can hear Loki breathing fast and heavy, the sheets ruffling and the bed creaking. Loki cries out in pain.
Mobius swallows. He hesitates, but ultimately pushes aside his doubts, dresses himself quickly and goes to knock on the door. The knock returns no answer, so just as the night before, he opens the door to Loki’s apartment and sees his body twisted in the sheets, deep in a bad dream.
This time, he stays by the door. “Loki,” he calls out. No response. Loki lets out a distressing sob.
“Loki,” Mobius repeats.
“I don’t want to…” Loki mumbles, “alone… no… please,”
Mobius approaches the bed. “Loki, you’re having a bad dream,” he speaks louder, “Lokes, please wake up,”
Loki shudders awake. For a moment, the two men stare silently at each other. The god’s eyes are brimming with tears.
“Mobius,” he gasps, “please, go,”
“Loki, I-” Mobius pleads,
“Go,” he splutters, “leave me be,”
Mobius watches as Loki’s face turns to a frown. A lump forms in his throat and he doesn’t move.
“Go!” Loki sobs.
The analyst gives in and leaves the room.
The following morning, Loki doesn’t leave his apartment at the same time as Mobius like he usually does. Mobius attempts not to dwell on this and walks to his desk. He begins the day by reading through some information on other Kang variants that need investigating. It’s thirty or so minutes later that Loki turns up opposite him.
“Loki,” Mobius looks up, “hey,”
“Good morning, Mobius,” Loki replies, pulling out his chair. Plainly put, he looks horrific. The skin under his eyes is tinged purple, his eyes are bloodshot, and his skin looks pale. Mobius is sure that he can see bruises on his arms before Loki rolls down his shirt sleeves.
Mobius feels a knot in his stomach, but pretends to resume his work. “Did you sleep okay, Loki?” He attempts to ask this casually, keeping his eyes down on his files. He can feel Loki’s eyes on him.
“Er, yes,” Loki clears his throat, “yes, just fine, thanks. You?”
“Yes, fine,” Mobius pauses, trying to go along with Loki’s make-believe but quickly decides against it, and looks up. “Actually, no. I didn’t. But I can admit that. Can you?”
Loki scoffs.
“Loki, you haven’t slept a second, I can tell. Are we going to talk about your repeated night terrors, or are we just going to ignore it?”
His jaw clenches. “I don’t need your pity, Mobius.”
“Pity?” Mobius frowns, “Loki, I care about you. I want to help,”
Loki avoids eye contact. “I don’t want you to.”
“Loki, I’m your friend, I can help you,”
“I DON’T WANT YOUR HELP, MOBIUS!” Loki slams his fist into the desk.
The mumbled voices and typing of other TVA workers ceases for a moment as their heads crane to look over at Loki. He slumps back into his seat. Mobius’s mouth is open, but he doesn’t say anything. There’s a lump in his throat and the threat of a tear in his eye, but his fists are clenched and he feels a flash of anger in his chest.
A moment of deafening silence passes between them, and Mobius takes a deep breath.
“Excuse me.” Loki fixes his tie and abruptly leaves his desk.
“Loki, wait-” Mobius calls out. It is to no avail as Loki leaves the room.
Ten minutes later, he rushes back with his TemPad.
“Mobius, I’ve got a lead on Sylvie,” he calls out whilst he creates a time door.
There is no time to ruminate on Loki’s behaviour; Mobius grabs his jacket and they rush off through the door. It takes them to Earth, specifically the state of Alabama in the 1990s. There’s nothing around them but the blazing sun above them and flat farmland for miles. It doesn’t take them long to figure out that there is no sign of Sylvie there.
“Oh, gods,” Loki shouts and kicks the dirt beneath him.
Mobius can’t explain why he feels angry at Loki’s fierce desire to find Sylvie. There’s a tightness in his chest as he observes how frustrated the god is at their dead end.
That night, the cries happen again. Mobius stares at the ceiling listening to Loki’s suffering next door. He battles with himself to decide whether he should get up and wake him from the torment. But Mobius can’t stand to make Loki angry at him again. He can’t stand to face rejection again. So he lays awake for what feels like forever, as his friend tosses and turns, re-living traumatic memories as he sleeps. It is when Loki calls out Sylvie’s name that Mobius finally rolls over and closes his eyes.
This cycle continues for the next week. Both men turn up to their desks in the morning bleary eyed. Mobius arms himself with a bigger mug of coffee to survive the day. Whenever Loki arrives late, Mobius gives him a sympathetic look and Loki avoids it. He learns not to ask Loki about the quality of his sleep. They don’t mention Loki’s outburst. Their relationship remains mostly unchanged, and they move on with their work as normal.
As the days go on, Loki becomes transfixed with finding Sylvie. They track down X-5, and with their joint efforts to scare Brad into imparting information, they finally have a lead.
Sat opposite Brad in a McDonald’s in Oklahoma, 1982, Mobius watches the reunited Loki and Sylvie hash it out in the parking lot. He chews his lip, and considers that perhaps now Loki’s nightmares will stop. The god can turn to Sylvie for advice, he can open up to her like he couldn’t with Mobius, and Loki will be okay.
So, later on, when the TVA analyst is lying in bed and hears Loki sobbing, a tear rolls past his temple. There is a pit in his stomach. The god’s cries have been the soundtrack to his sleep for the past week, and paralysed with the threat of Loki’s dismissal, he has not responded to those cries. Immediately the guilt begins to swallow him.
More tears fall.
Another sob from Loki.
His body acts before his brain catches up, and he feels himself get out of bed and leave his apartment. Just as he begins to think twice about it, he knocks on Loki’s door. The sobs go silent. Mobius holds his breath and knocks again, lightly. There is no response.
Mobius looks up at the ceiling and sighs. “Loki,” he begs, “please, just let me help you,”
A beat. Silence.
Mobius returns to bed. He can’t hear Loki crying anymore.
When Mobius stirs awake, there is a figure in the corner of his room. He scrambles to prop himself up and lets his eyes adjust to it.
“Mobius,” the figure - unmistakably Loki - croaks.
“Loki?”
“Mobius,” Loki says again, his voice hitching. He stumbles over to the bed. “I’m, I’m-”
“Loki, shh,” he motions for Loki to sit on the bed. When he does, Mobius cautiously reaches out to place his hand on his shoulder, careful of overstepping. Loki collapses into more sobs. “Loki, Loki, hey, it’s okay.”
Mobius shuffles closer to the god, placing his other hand on his thigh, stroking his thumb across his cotton pajamas. His hand moves from his shoulder to his hair, caressing the loose dark curls. “Just breathe for me, okay, sweetheart?”
Soon, Loki’s breathing becomes more controlled, his weeping quieter, and his hands stop shaking. They stay in that position for several minutes, Mobius soothing him, giving gentle shushes, his eyes fixed on the god.
Once Loki is settled, he sniffles, “would you mind if I stayed for a bit longer?”
Mobius shakes his head, “N-no, no not at all, Loki,”
“Thank you,” Loki looks at him earnestly.
Mobius shuffles back and pats the space next to him. Loki abides, laying down next to Mobius. The two men stare at the ceiling.
The TVA analyst can’t quite fathom how they ended up here. But, for now, he’s just relieved that Loki has confided in him. He rolls to his side and watches Loki’s face as he closes his eyes and he relaxes. His chest swells, and he feels a desire to reach out, to caress the god’s face, to plant a kiss on his cheek. After watching Loki fall asleep, seeing the slow rise and fall of his chest, Mobius himself falls into a restful sleep.
When he wakes, it takes him a moment to remember that there should have been someone laid next to him, but the spot is empty. Mobius feels an intense relief for the night’s events - perhaps this is a new chapter of Loki’s trust in him - and a teenage giddiness for how they slept next to each other. Underneath these swirling feelings, however, is a hint of resentment for how the god has continually dismissed him, only to need him anyway.
Loki is already comfortable at his desk when Mobius arrives. In this light he can appreciate how Loki looks the most rested he has in weeks, and he smiles to himself. Casey, B-15, O.B. and Sylvie are also present, ready for a day of preparation and planning to save the multiverse.
“Sleep okay?” Mobius teases. Loki doesn’t look at him. There’s a pang in his chest.
The day is long, and along with the stresses of reality collapsing, Mobius keeps trying to steal glances at Loki to establish how he’s feeling or to get any recognition of what happened. It’s selfish, he knows, the TVA and the universe saving comes first - but he’s starting to feel like Loki matters more to him, even if Loki doesn’t feel the same way.
“Now we know what our plan is, and how to fix the temporal loom, I say we get some rest. We need clear heads to deal with this tomorrow,” B-15 announces. The team begins to disperse.
“Loki,” Mobius catches him before he leaves, “why don’t we go and get some pie, for old time’s sake?”
They sit at the diner-style metal table and chairs, each with a slice of that familiar key lime pie. Mobius groans delightfully after his first bite, and Loki smiles.
“How are you feeling about tomorrow, Loki?”
Loki hums. “Scared.”
“That’s real honest. I like it,” Mobius chews, “but we’re going to be fine.”
A flush of red appears on Loki’s cheeks. “How are you feeling about it?”
“Well, I don’t like that I have to be the one to go and do it,” Mobius smirks. Loki chuckles, which makes his heart flutter. “But I’ll be fine. I’ve done it before.” He takes another bite. Mobius is feeling brave, so he asks: “Did you sleep better last night?”
Loki pauses. Mobius can see him go rigid. “Mobius, I’m sorry I intruded on you last night. It was unfair of me.”
“Loki. I want you to be able to open up to me. I care about you, I really do. And that’s not just because I have a heart of gold.”
They both smile.
“Mobius, you’re too kind. But I mean it. It won’t happen again. I shouldn’t have done it,” he takes a breath, “and I don’t want you to bring it up again. It was a moment of weakness.”
He gulps. “Loki, that’s a little unfair, don’t you think?”
“What?”
“Moment of weakness?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Loki, I’m not ‘a moment of weakness.’ You can’t expect these things to happen and for them to never be addressed again,” Mobius feels that resentment bubbling up again. “I know you’ve been struggling. And that’s okay. But you can’t yell at me, send me away, ignore me when you don’t want to deal with your issues and then come to me when you need me. It’s silly.”
“Silly?” Loki repeats.
“I’ve listened to you toss and turn and cry out every night for the past week. Whether you want me to help you or not I can still hear it.”
“Mobius, you don’t understand.” Loki declares sternly.
“Don’t speak for me. I’ve seen your life. I know what you’re dreaming about.” Mobius exhales. “Fine. I won’t bring it up. I won’t check if you’re okay. But don’t come running if you change your mind. Goodnight, Loki.”
Mobius abandons his half-eaten pie and the room before Loki can reply.
About twenty minutes after he slips into bed, heart still racing from his sudden exit, Mobius can hear the hushed voices of Sylvie and Loki enter Loki’s apartment next door. Mobius starts to cry, and doesn’t stop until he falls asleep some time later.
Early the next day, the team are all nervously watching the temporal loom through the thick glass.
“This is it,” O.B declares, “I hope it works,”
“I hope it does too,” Mobius gives a dry chuckle, “else it’ll be a rough way to go,”
He can feel Loki’s gaze on him. The two men haven’t said a word to each other. Mobius heads down the stairs to get suited up, just like he was when he went out with the temporal extractor. He reflects on their relationship then - it was so recent, but so different. There now exists a level of tension impossible to break through. Mobius’s heart aches at the thought. Why did he choose a god of mischief that’s impossible at opening up about his feelings to care so much about?
Now he is suited up, the team begins to leave the room. They offer their luck, and move out one by one. Loki is last to leave. Mobius hopes for anything, an apology, even just a word, but Loki simply offers a sympathetic nod before leaving.
Mobius can’t take much more of Loki’s indifference. He understands that Loki does not feel the same as the TVA agent; he does not wish to reach and hold his hand, nor plant a kiss on his cheek; he does not wish to be held by Mobius in his darkest moments; he does not feel the desire for more. This is obvious for Mobius. What he cannot fathom is Loki’s retreat from even caring about him.
He shakes his head to dismiss the thoughts and remains focused on the task at hand - saving all of reality. The door closes behind him, and the alarm blares as the blast doors begin to open. Immediately radiation swarms towards him, hitting his shoulder, his arm, his leg, and he struggles to take his first few steps. It’s more intense than last time.
Slowly, he makes his way down the platform. He tries to ignore the pain forming at his hands and feet as he struggles against the radioactive winds.
Eventually, he makes it to the control panel. He just needs to attach the throughput multiplier to the panel and it’ll be over. Mobius bends down, places the device into the correct slot… and it works. The temporal loom expands and begins to cope with the branched timelines.
Not wanting to waste time prematurely celebrating, he begins to fight his way back to safety, hearing only the sound of his heavy, laboured breathing inside of his suit. In the distance he can see his friends standing and watching him with fixed gazes. They look concerned, but happy. Mobius feels a trace of relief.
A sharp pain throbs in his hand. He lifts it to his face. There’s a gaping hole in his suit and his skin is entirely exposed to the radioactive environment.
Before he can even begin to panic, the pain envelopes his whole body, searing hot and overwhelming, and he falls to his knees. Several holes are now appearing on other areas of his suit where it’s scorched through.
The last thing he feels is hot pain shrouding his body, bile rising in his throat and pressure building to an intensity so high he’s worried his head will explode.
The last thing he hears is himself screaming.
The last thing he sees is darkness.