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Through the coyote’s binoculars, Wile E. was peeved by the bird seed bait being left untouched for hours. This hadn’t happened before the first hundreds of times he planted it, not even when he was a baby forced by his father to catch the fastest and unobtainable bird on earth and to not say a single word at all.
Even he doubts that Road Runner got tired by the mysterious plate of bird seeds popping up during his runs across the desert. Wile E. recalled that it had been weeks since his last scheme to catch that bird and yet, not once he had spotted him sprinting at a tremendous speed or even making a quick stop to get a rise of him and going “Meep meep” before sprinting off to the sunset.
But no. No. He just stopped showing up out of nowhere and as much as Wile E hates to admit it, but he was starting to worry for the poor bird. He really hoped that Road Runner didn’t break his leg during one of his runs or no other super genius coyote got him and roasted him for dinner or their families. Then again, he’s impossible to catch and even when Wile E. was so close to his meal, his luck has other plans, resulting in more broken bones, missing teeth that he had to learn from dentistry books to even put half of them back in, and the urge to buy more products from ACME to try over and over again.
Where could that road runner be??, he thought to himself.
He isn’t that type of bird to suddenly go missing like if he had to go south for the winter, despite the temperature being 93 degrees and he’s not capable of colder environments!!
Wile E. let out a sigh and pulled out his sign, “Guess I have to go look for him… If it’s even possible.”
If he can’t wait for him, guess it’s hunting season for this coyote. Besides, he's not resorting to garbage and insects… Again.
So much for using that swinging mallet trap he recently built. He undoes the rope to cut it another time, before remembering that the hammer will charge at its target at full force. Wile E. prepares for the mallet to strike him, but it misses him. The coyote sighed with relief,
Just as he was about to start a search for the roadrunner, the mallet swung right in front of the coyote, flinging into mid-air
At this point, he should’ve seen this coming.
Despite his bad luck and getting screwed over countless times by ACME, it seems like life decided to let him off easy, as in an instant, Wile E landed on a cactus, breaking his fall. He got off of it and had to pull a couple of spines off of his bottom, painfully.
Rubbing his backside, he pulled out a road runner tracker he originally got from ACME, which surprisingly was one of those products that didn’t blow up in his face. In fact, he brought a couple of supplies to help attract the road runner. He remembered planting a tiny tracking chip into the bird seed bait so that he can see where Road Runner will be heading off to and if he’s heading into one of his traps. Hopefully the tracking chip is still inside the road runner. That or if it landed on his chest fluff when he was inhaling those seeds.
He looked through the screen with the flashing red dot, convinced that he managed to find him and hoped that he was okay, and not just because he wants a fresh dish of road runner meat. However, when he got to the location on his device, he could only find the tracking chip melted and lying on the orange rocky ground.
He had to place it into his food, didn’t he…
Alright then plan B!
Wile E. dug into his duffer bag, choosing which one could attract the road runner better. He originally found his old costume of a female road runner, but he put it back, not wanting his entire family to chase after him again. He then took out a blowhorn that mimicked the sound of Road Runner’s iconic “meep meep” sound.
He wasn’t sure if using it for a second time would help him out since it attracted other road runners and he got trampled by dozens of them when he thought he successfully got himself years worth of food. But desperate times come with desperate measures!
Wile E. puffed up his chest and blew into the horn, causing a loud “MEEP MEEP” call. He came prepared with a pillow this time and used it as a shield, in fear of getting run over again. He peeked through the pillow, expecting a horde of road runners.
Obviously, they ran across him like a bat out of hell, this time, tossing him up in the air and bouncing him around like a beach ball. At least he’s not getting flattened like a pancake by all of them, as he was dropped to the ground and miraculously, he was nearby some soft whimpering noises coming from the abandoned nest Road Runner eventually made his home.
Wile E.’s more confused than relieved that Road Runner’s alive and not cooked yet. He has never seen him this upset before. Annoyed by him falling in love with another coyote who wasn’t really into him, yeah, but never saw him… Crying over whatever he’s holding in his wings. As he got closer to his prey’s nest, he saw pieces of what used to be dynamite that turned into a time-bomb-road runner hybrid, with the springy head resting on the road runner’s wing.
The coyote’s eyes widened with surprise at that revelation. He didn’t expect the road runner to care about a time bomb with a road runner’s head glued on it that much. That is… Of course… That egg decoy he made to blow him up well-done, or into smithereens…
And from what he can recall, the road runner was so happy and willing to raise an orphaned egg and when it exploded…
That would explain why he didn’t see the road runner for the rest of the day… Or the day after that…
Wile E. wasn’t even sure on what to do in this situation. He’s not great at comforting someone, let alone with a bird he’s been chasing for years now. He tried to back away from the nest to give him space, but the blowhorn that was also tossed into the air hit him in the head and made him fall backwards onto a short cactus, alerting the depressed road runner, spotting the coyote in agony.
Instead of zooming away, Road Runner could only give him this sad look on his face. Wile E., as a first, couldn’t bear to look at him in this state, realizing what his trap had done and not as a result of cartoonish pain, but rather, something that hurts more than cactus spines poking into his backside. Road Runner moved aside for his only friend in the desert to sit next to him, which Wile E hesitates at first, since, well, he also never expected him to be this welcoming to him despite how he just wanted him on his plate.
But he didn’t want to leave him alone and be miserable all day, so, he sat next to the bird, feeling his fluffy light blue feathers on his scratchy brown fur. Road Runner showed him his kid in pieces, sniffling after quiet sobbing for weeks.
“You…”, Wile E. held up his sign, only having one word on that side of his picket sign before spinning it around, “You really loved it even when it’s…”
Road Runner nodded with soft “meeps”. He didn’t care if it was originally a decoy egg and the baby bird was a bomb. He still loved it and thought he could’ve taken in an orphan and taken good care of him. Like teach it how to run faster than the speed of light and taunt his coyote friend playfully whenever they can, feed it bird seeds from him or even help it hunt down alternatives like insects and frogs, and give it as much love as he possibly could, like he did with Wile E.
But he would never do any of that. He had just witnessed his kid explode in front of the coyote and it just broke him. Why else had he stopped showing up…? What’s even the point of playing around with him after losing his kid? Even bird seeds started to taste cold and empty.
That explains why he wasn’t as hyper as usual during that first week…, Wile E. thought to himself, astonished by what he could gather from his meeps. Any other road runner wouldn’t bat an eye at the loss of their baby, but this Road Runner did.
Wile E. wrapped his arms around him, not like his neck like he would’ve done when he was chasing him around, but around his body, and let the bird rest his head on his shoulder. He looked at the Road Runner with a gentle and comforting glance, before patting his hand onto his wing.
He took out another picket sign, “To be honest, you’d be a great father…”
Road Runner nodded, lamenting his feelings about his loss, before giving his friend his own sign, “I’d say the same thing.”
Spinning it around, “You would’ve been this little one’s daddy too.”
Wile E. was taken back by the blue and violet bird’s sign and had to read it twice to be sure, “You’re kidding right?”
Road Runner shook his head in response, “You made it too… <3 I’d be willing to get myself out here for you…”
Wile E. blushed furiously red. Oh, what did he get himself into?
”I appreciate that, but…”, Wile E. just couldn’t spin to the other side of his sign, for whatever reason. He’s not really interested in dating, even before getting sidelined by that female coyote, but he never knew Road Runner had a thing for him.
Then again, road runners see chasing as flirting so he couldn’t be this confused about that.
Wile E. tosses the sign away and cuddles the poor Road Runner, reminding him that even though the ‘baby’ is long gone and even if it’s not a real one, it doesn’t mean he isn’t allowed to grieve for it. While animals don’t exactly have longer lifespans like real people or looney animals do, he deserved to spend much more time with the child he always wanted to have.
Even though it only lasted for 30 seconds, it felt like a lifetime for him. Seeing his baby take its first steps before that happened was the most beautiful thing Road Runner has ever seen in its very short lifespan.
Not to mention, he got Wile E. too, the coyote who gives him bird seeds whenever he can and plays with him even if his traps backfire on him and the speedy bird runs faster than him. It’s so nice of the coyote to take a break from trying to catch him to comfort him during this hard time.
Oh, how he wished everyday like this. The two come together, not chasing or Wile E. trying and failing to snatch him up for dinner, and just spending the day, snuggling with each other and comforting one another.
On the other hand, Wile E. somehow didn’t want to eat him anymore, just not right now to say the least. For years, he had wanted to capture the road runner just so he could eat and his dad could be so proud of him and let him talk after all this time. But after seeing what’s more to the Road Runner than just being a clueless, teasing, yet hard to catch bird, it would be wrong to grab him during the rough moment of his life and cook him.
In fact, he had always seen the coyote as a friend rather than an enemy or predator he needed to get away from and probably even more now that they started to bond over one of his failed plans.
Maybe, just maybe, he might feel the same way too. The only problem is that Wile E. isn’t ready to admit that. Mostly because after this, they’ll be back to play cat and mouse all over the desert.
He felt Road Runner’s beak tapping his shoulder, getting his attention as he looked at him.
“Think we could make another?”
Wile E. lifted his own sign, “I don’t want to make you depressed again…”
”I meant like doing it in an alternative and less traumatizing way…”, Road Runner spins his sign and twitched his eye with a smirk, “If you know what I mean… <3”
Wile E., bright red all over again, turns to the fourth wall, if there’s any in this fanfiction, and pulls out a new sign, “Oh boy…”
He might need some help with from a certain attorney…