Archive of Our Own

it's a day like any other, thoroughly unremarkable in all regards as wooyoung people-watches in the university library. there's nothing particularly interesting that happens as he meanders through the stacks, pausing whenever a student catches his eye. standard routine, all in all.

and then the broad pretty boy with a white streak in his hair that wooyoung's lingering in a history aisle for gives him a fleeting smile and soft apology as he sidesteps around him and walks off. wooyoung freezes before he whips around to catch him turn right, leaving him utterly nonplussed.

'what the fuck,' he whispers, awe building in him.

not wanting to waste any more time, he sticks his head through the bookshelves in the direction the guy had gone, and relief floods him when he doesn't need to look further.

wooyoung can see the guy's (delicious) muscles tense as his whole body stiffens as wooyoung steps fully through the bookshelves, his eyes widening slightly as they remain fixed on the books in front of him, his breath stuttering in his chest.

'hi,' wooyoung says, and the smallest whimper drifts from the guy. he looks like he's about to cry.

'please don't talk to me,' the guy says in the faintest whisper, 'we're in a library so i'm trying really hard not to scream.'

'so you can see me?' wooyoung presses, stepping towards him, and the guy swiftly steps away - and continues stepping away, moving sideways down the shelves.

'sorry, i'm so sorry, i didn't realise,' the guy says in a trembling stream, desperation painting his face.

'what's your name?' wooyoung asks, following after him. 'i'm wooyoung.'

he doesn't get a reply, just a creased brow and the guy breaks into the nearest thing he can get to a run in a library.

'wait!' he calls.

the guy's out the doors before wooyoung can catch up with him, and he curses as he bounces back from the boundary of the library.

it's three weeks before wooyoung sees him again, looking nervously around the library. wooyoung scrambles up from where he's been lounging on his favourite beanbag in the cozy corner and heads through the stacks to where the guy is.

'hi again,' wooyoung says, stepping out next to him. the guy startles, slapping his hand over his mouth to stifle his yelp.

'no, come on, the city library is so far away,' the guy whines, looking distraught, and wooyoung does feel a little bad. not a lot, but a little bit.

'no, wait,' wooyoung says as the guy makes a move to leave again. 'please. i haven't spoken to anyone since i died. i just... wanted to have a conversation.'

the guy doesn't leave. he looks reluctant, but seems to relent, and hope rises in wooyoung.

'ghosts terrify me,' he whispers and wooyoung can't help but laugh.

'i'm not going to haunt you,' he says, 'i can't leave the library, anyway. pretty easy to lose.'

a shadow of a smile tugs at the guy's lips and wooyoung grins triumphantly at the sight.

'i'm san,' the guy - san - shares after a moment's hesitation. 'you really just want to talk?'

wooyoung nods enthusiastically. 'that's it,' he promises.

he tries not too look too excited, to come on too strong as san worries at his lip.

'okay' san says, 'i think i can do that.'

they've found a corner that's not too secluded - to appease san's nervousness at being alone with a ghost - but tucked away enough that san won't look too much like a raving madman talking to midair. a reasonable compromise.

the conversation flows easier than wooyoung expects, what with san's clear uneasiness and his own lack of practice.

'how can you see me?' wooyoung asks. 'no one's ever done that before.'

'near death experience,' san says, then pauses. 'well. technically, i died. for like 2 minutes. they brought me back. that was about two and a half years ago. ever since then, i've been able to see ghosts.' he gives a wry smile. 'sometimes i wish i had actually died instead, but i know that's just my fear talking.'

'wouldn't you just be a ghost then?' wooyoung asks, 'would you still be scared of ghosts if you were one?'

'probably,' san mutters and wooyoung laughs. 'i don't think everyone stays, though,' he continues quietly. 'i looked for my grandfather after he...' he shrugs. 'never found him.'

'oh.' wooyoung ponders this. he'd never really considered why he became a ghost. it's not like he has many other deaths to compare the experience to - university libraries aren't typically mortally dangerous. 'so have you spoken to a lot of ghosts?'

'did my reaction to you give the impression i have?' san asks and wooyoung laughs.

'you don't look like someone who would be scared of ghosts,' he says with a grin and san gives him a look.

'it might surprise you to know that going to the gym and being able to fight is absolutely useless against beings with no corporeal form,' san says. 'like, see-'

wooyoung startles as san throws a punch right at his face - but his fist just passes right through wooyoung, and while it doesn't exactly feel pleasant, it's better than - well, than a punch to the face.

'did that make you feel better?' he asks.

san, pale faced and watery eyed, shakes his hand and shivers.

'no,' he whimpers, 'that was horrible, oh my god. chills every where.'

'i would say sorry, but i don't really think i'm at fault for that,' wooyoung says after a few moments, when san seems to have calmed himself down somewhat.

'yeah,' san admits readily, 'please never let me do that again.'

'sure,' wooyoung agrees easily, 'it's not like i'm trying to scare you away.'

'but you do try to scare people,' san says, 'don't you? i've heard the stories about the library, and if you haven't had a conversation with anyone since you died, you must be the only ghost in here.'

'unless they're very well hidden,' wooyoung agrees. 'and much like you punching me, if someone sits in the beanbag i'm napping in, i can hardly be held responsible for that.'

'and the occasional moving item?' san asks and wooyoung shrugs.

'only if they deserve it,' he mutters, which is mostly true. 'look, in my defense, i have very little else to do with my life. death. time, whatever.'

san tilts his head in grudging acknowledgement.

'why'd you come to the library then?' wooyoung asks, 'if you've heard stories and know you can see ghosts and hate it, why'd you take the risk?'

'i have assignments i really need to do,' san says, 'and i wasn't lying when i said the city library is too far away. i know the university library will have the books i need as well. i just couldn't avoid it any longer.'

wooyoung laughs. 'if you're risking your grades for me, i'm even more thankful.'

san looks at him, and it seems to wooyoung that for the first time it's less fear than anything else. he thinks it might be pity, and the idea would make his skin crawl if that was a possibility.

'i won't keep you from your work,' he says, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. 'i'll even make myself scarce when you come to the library if you want.' the idea makes him feel desperate, but he has never wanted to be pitied.

'you don't have to do that,' san says quietly, and wooyoung's eyes shoot up to meet his. san hesitates, and looks like he can barely believe what he's saying. 'i think... do you think you would want to be friends with me if you were alive?'

'yes,' wooyoung says easily and he's not lying. san's looks would've made him want to become his friend even before his evident sweetness would've made him want to stay friends.

'i don't... have many friends,' san admits quietly, looking far smaller than wooyoung would think his build would allow. 'i think i unsettle people.'

a smile tugs at wooyoung's lips.

'same,' he says and san laughs. wooyoung grins like he's won a prize. 'how do you feel about being friends with a ghost?'

san gives him a small smile. 'i think maybe i'm willing to give it a try?'

👻

it doesn't take all that long for the last of san's fear to disappear. he still doesn't like it when wooyoung walks through him, or touches him, but he doesn't scream when it happens any more. wooyoung attempts to help san with his assignments to varying success, and aches that he can only know san in the library, that he never knew him in life. but then, if he hadn't died where he did, he would never have known him in life anyway, so maybe this is the silver lining to it all - that he got to meet san at all. he's fairly certain this is not just because san's the first friend he's had in five decades.

'okay, what aren't you telling me about this occult class?' he asks, months after they'd become friends. 'every time it's mentioned you drift off for a moment.'

san flushes, and hesitates.

'there's this guy,' he shares and wooyoung's brow furrows.

'is he giving you trouble?' he asks, concern lacing through him.

'no,' san assures him, 'no, he's really nice. and tall.' san sighs. 'and handsome. and he sits next to me and i don't really know what to do with myself, he's...' san groans and slumps against the bookshelf. 'he's so hot, wooyoung.'

if wooyoung could still breathe, he doesn't think he would be able to in this moment.

'are you... do you like men?' he asks, his voice hushed and san looks at him like he's only just remembered wooyoung is not his peer. he gives a small nod.

'is that... is that a problem?' he asks. 'sorry, i don't... really know what attitudes were like when you were alive.'

wooyoung thinks of fists landing heavy, ribs cracking under boots, books falling from shelves as a hand presses too tight, too strong against his throat.

he tucks his hands under his arms to hide their trembling.

'not great,' he murmurs, his voice shakier than he would like.

san looks at him, his brow creased. 'i thought you knew. i have the pride flag on my bag.'

'the what?' wooyoung asks, and san points to a little rainbow flag pin on his bag. 'i don't know what that is.'

san's eyes widen. 'oh,' he says, 'it means - well, it's for gay pride. queer pride.'

wooyoung swallows a lump in his throat. 'pride?' he says, 'it's something to be proud of?'

san leans back, a carefully guarded look on his face. 'why shouldn't it be?'

wooyoung lets out a wet laugh and shakes his head at san's clear misunderstanding. 'no, it should - i've seen that flag before, on students, i didn't know it was for - i didn't know. i didn't know things had changed that much.'

san relaxes, understanding washing over his face. 'it's not great,' he admits, 'in many areas. but we're fighting for it to be. and things are changing. it's slow, but... it's changing. we have marches. activists. support. i have to believe it's getting better.'

wooyoung smiles, his feelings still whirling inside him in a way that makes him want to cry. 'i wish i could've fought for better,' he says and san reaches out and barely even flinches when his hand sinks through wooyoung's shoulder, disappointment on his face.

'so,' wooyoung starts, eager to shake off the mood, 'this tall, handsome guy. does he have this flag on his bag?'

san gives a startled laugh and matches wooyoung's smile. 'not that i've seen,' he says, 'but i'm far too shy to make the first move anyway.'

'why?' wooyoung asks bluntly, feeling freer with the new information he has. 'have you looked in a mirror lately?'

'what's that got to do with anything?' san asks, and wooyoung grins at the flush in his cheeks.

'no man who even has the slightest interest in other men would turn you down. i was following you for a reason the day we met.'

san hides his face in his hands with an embarrassed whine. 'you were following me?'

'what else am i meant to do in my afterlife other than ogle gorgeous boys in the library?' wooyoung says innocently and san peeks at him through his fingers.

'have you been holding yourself back because you thought i was straight?' he asks and wooyoung shrugs. certainly he had been very reluctant to do anything to drive away the only person he could talk to in half a century.

'i had a lot of practice pretending,' he says carelessly. 'not that i was very good at it.'

san's eyebrows knit together again.

'oh, don't look at me like that,' wooyoung says, waving a hand. 'it's ancient history. tell me more about this boy. do you think he's safe?'

'what, like sexually?' san asks, looking mildly confused. 'i don't know, he seems responsible, so maybe?'

'what?' wooyoung says, 'no, to flirt with.'

the speed at which san goes red makes wooyoung slightly concerned he's about to have an eternal partner.

'i can't do that!' san sputters, 'he's popular and i'm decidedly not, and besides, i'm not brave enough to even dare-'

wooyoung tilts his head, waits for san to settle himself from the idea.

'his friends are queer, i'm pretty sure,' san says finally, 'that's not why i'm not making a move. i don't think i'd be able to get the words out.'

'it's really not that difficult,' wooyoung says.

'i beg to differ,' san insists and wooyoung rolls his eyes.

'well. tell me about him, anyway. about what you want to do to him.' wooyoung eyes san in consideration. 'want him to do to you? let me live vicariously.'

'i will not be doing that, thank you very much,' san hisses, his cheeks ruddy, and wooyoung allows himself to flop onto the floor.

'oh, come on,' he wheedles, 'share all your dirtiest fantasies. see if you can shock me. who'm i gonna tell?'

👻

'i got his number,' san bursts out, appearing out of nowhere, and wooyoung almost falls off the beanbag he was curled up in.

'sorry?' says the other student in the cozy corner, looking at san warily.

'no, sorry, i wasn't talking to you,' san hastens to assure them. she glances around at the distinct lack of anyone else, looking back at san in consternation. wooyoung snorts.

'damn, no wonder i'm your only friend,' wooyoung says with a chuckle.

'you're not my only friend,' san snaps and the girl just looks more freaked out. wooyoung laughs. 'uh. bluetooth,' san says, and the girl gives a cautious nod.

'right. well. you're in a library,' she says and san flushes.

'yeah, i'm- hanging up now,' he says. 'bye.'

wooyoung trails after san as he makes his way through the stacks to their favourite rarely visited corner (global literature), giggling the whole way. san's normally very good at not getting caught talking to him.

'okay,' san says, once he's made sure they're alone. 'i have his number. he has my number.'

wooyoung gives him a look.

'cellphone number,' san elaborates, 'i have jeong yunho's cellphone number. not for - i don't know how to talk to him, so it's not like i'm going to use it, but we got paired together for a project, so we're going to be working together and i have his number and he texted me.'

'oh, you need to play it cool,' wooyoung says, deciding he'd figure out what texted means later, 'this is very unattractive.' he's lying through his teeth. it's very endearing, but that's only because he already knows san. 'what's the project?'

'he said something about a ouija board, and - well, i can already talk to ghosts, so sure, that's fine with me,' san says and wooyoung perks up.

'oh? has he said where he wants to try it?'

san shakes his head. 'not yet.'

'well,' wooyoung says, 'if you need suggestions, i know a little haunted joint that even has rumours to back it up.'

'you just want to see him,' san says, deadpan, and wooyoung nods.

'yeah, obviously. bring your loverboy here to me so i can enjoy the view too,' wooyoung says, and san flaps a hand at him, careful to actually avoid him.

'he's not my loverboy!'

'i was instrumental in many of my friends' hookups in my life,' wooyoung boasts. he may be exaggerating, but once is more than none. 'i personally think these stacks need to see a lot more gay trysts, even the score.'

'what - it's a school project,' san hisses, neck blotchy.

'it can be that and a date,' wooyoung says and san buries his face in his hands with a whine. it's a good few minutes before he emerges again.

'do people really hook up here?' san asks.

'not nearly as often as i'd like,' wooyoung says and san gives him a look.

'you watch?'

'oh, don't look at me like that,' wooyoung tells him, 'i get very little excitement here. don't try to deprive me of what scraps i get.' he sighs. 'it's not even like anyone got naked, this is a library, after all. it's normally just some kissing, maybe some heavy petting. i'm parched.'

wooyoung can see when san remembers it's been fifty years for him.

'you can change that,' he says cheekily and san flushes again.

'absolutely not!' he exclaims and wooyoung laughs, quashes down the little part of him that wants to take it personally. it's not like wooyoung could do anything about it even if san was interested.

'heartless,' he accuses lightly, rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling. allows the comfortable silence to extend.

'i'll suggest the library,' san says eventually and wooyoung raises an eyebrow at him, teasing smile playing at his lips. 'just for you to see him,' san cautions, 'that's it. behave.'

'when do i not?' wooyoung counters, feigning affront.

👻

it's dark when wooyoung hears the click of keys in the door, the library long closed, and his brow furrows, his attention wrested from where he's been watching a spider spin a web that glitters in the moonlight shining through the windows. he hears the soft murmur of people speaking and the click of a lighter and a little thrum of panic runs through him when he catches the faint smell of smoke, and he moves swiftly to the activity.

he comes up short at the sight of candles illuminating the glaring white streak in san's hair and relief floods through him. he bites back a laugh and takes the opportunity to peek at san's outfit. he nods appreciatively - collar bones out, flashes of thigh, dainty choker that looks good even if it makes wooyoung rub at his own throat.

they're sitting crosslegged on the floor, candles flickering next them, san's hands in the air for some reason.

'okay, let's start,' san says when he sees wooyoung approaching, and puts his hands on the eye piece on the ouija board.

'not even a hello,' wooyoung sighs, san glancing up at him. he turns his attention to the famed jeong yunho as he carefully places his hands on top of san's. wooyoung takes in fluffy hair, big eyes, curious gaze, long legs. 'oh, he is handsome,' he says, leaning forward to look closer. he's sure san wants to curse at him and the idea makes him giggle. 'you know, i'll give it a moment,' he tells san, sitting next to them with relish. 'give you time to enjoy his hands on yours. almost like you're holding hands. i'm such a good friend, aren't i?' san's eye twitches slightly and wooyoung laughs loudly. 'you disagree? lies. i know you're enjoying it.' he looks down. 'they're nice hands,' he says, and means it. 'god, those fingers are long.' he bites his lip, his thoughts drifting. he shoots san a teasing glance. 'bet you want to find out what else they can do. what they feel like somewhere el-'

'shut up,' san says and wooyoung cackles as yunho looks at him in confusion.

'what?' yunho says, brow creased. 'i didn't say anything.'

'huh?' a flush climbs san's cheeks and wooyoung can't stop laughing. 'i didn't mean that! i meant-'

honestly, wooyoung used to be unsure about the efficacy of oujia boards, but the placket really is the easiest thing he's tried to move as he picks his letters carefully, yunho's eyes snapping to the board.

l-o-s-e-

'okay, you don't have to be a jerk,' san complains.

'he deserves to know,' wooyoung says with a shrug and a wide grin.

'that wasn't me, i promise-' yunho says, and wooyoung finds himself very endeared by the earnestness in his voice.

'cute,' he murmurs.

'not you, i meant wooyoung,' san explains. very ineffectually.

'i don't understand what's happening.'

wooyoung almost feels sorry for the poor guy, because san is showing no sign of actually explaining. that's his excuse for why he stands and passes through yunho, his thoughts and intentions flashing through wooyoung's mind as yunho shudders and rubs at his arms, suddenly looking a lot more disconcerted. wooyoung's lips curl into a smile at the revelation, and he turns to grin at san.

'i told you you should've just made a move,' he tells him, 'he's doing this because he wants to spend time with you.'

the flush that takes over san's face is beautiful, in wooyoung's humble opinion.

'did you really do this just so you could spend time with me?' san asks and wooyoung settles down to watch them, fondness laced with relief and joy curling through him. when yunho's cheeks turn as red as san's, he can't help but coo.

'i. i- maybe?'

'useless, the both of you,' wooyoung says with laugh. ''you're so lucky i'm here,' he tells san.

'you could have just... asked me out.' san's voice is sweet and soft. 'i would've said yes.'

yunho perks up in a way that makes wooyoung suddenly miss his parents' puppy in the way he misses them - all-encompassing. he's used to it now.

'would you go out with me?' yunho asks and wooyoung moves through the wistfulness by moving the placket very definitively to yes.

'stop answering for me, wooyoung,' san chides, before blinking up at yunho through his lashes. 'and yes - i will.'

'disgusting,' wooyoung tells, 'that was so gross. i'm so proud. seduce him. you're doing great.'

'can we end the game before this asshole gets any other ideas?' san says and wooyoung gapes.

'rude,' he says, 'my ideas are great.'

'god, yes,' yunho replies and wooyoung sticks his tongue out at him for good measure.

'come on, sannie, there's not even anyone here to catch you, it's completely risk free,' wooyoung wheedles as san and yunho make quick work of packing up the board. 'at least kiss him, give me something to dream about.'

san's ignoring him, and it should sting, but it's not like wooyoung's not used to it.

'don't forget to blow out the candles,' he says off-handedly. san at least listens to that. 'hold his hand,' wooyoung whispers in san's ear as he finishes packing up and san gives him a look when yunho isn't looking.

he does take yunho's hand when they're done and wooyoung smiles at the little jump yunho does because of it. they make a beautiful couple, he thinks.

'so, uh, did wooyoung tell you to do anything else?' yunho asks and wooyoung laughs.

'san, he's adorable. you gotta suck his dick. preferably right here, where i can watch.'

'you're gonna need to wait for our first date to get that kiss,' san says, smile tugging at his lips and wooyoung boos him.

'don't censor me,' he says, trailing after them as they get to the door, yunho laughing bashfully at san's words.

san looks back at wooyoung once they've locked up the library again and gives him a smile.

wooyoung can only smile back, everything in him aching to follow them.

he wishes the best for them, he does. happy to see the bloom of puppy love, to see san's shy smiles and yunho's doe eyes at san. happy san was willing to share the moment with him, to bring yunho here to meet him. unbelievably happy to see them holding hands and bumping shoulders in public, at a university, even if it is nighttime and mostly deserted. elated that it's possible, and san has the chance to be happy and open in way wooyoung never got to. and yet he can't help the grief, the wishing he wasn't stuck in these four walls, that he could talk to more than just san - as much as he likes san.

he flexes his fingers as san and yunho's entwined hands disappear from his view and aches for the touch of another, to be able to touch someone again.

he'd come to terms with the limitations of his afterlife, but for the first time in a long time, the rage at the unfairness of it all makes him want to scream, to cry, to break something, to see it all go up in flames again.

but he knows it's futile. nothing would change. it is what is it.

👻

'wooyoung?' comes a hesitant voice and wooyoung cracks open a confused eye. he's sure the library closed for the night.

he would call it deja vu if he wasn’t interminably familiar with repetition, seeing candles and a oujia board sitting in front of an uncertain yunho. wooyoung's really not sure how he didn't wake up beforehand.

'uh. are you here? i don't know if you can hear me, san said you hang around in this area. and that he can see you. and other ghosts. which is... unexpected but pretty cool. he doesn't know i'm here. it's not a secret, you can tell him, i just... want to get to know his friends?' yunho tilts his head. 'no, okay, it's because i'm nosy and want to know what you were telling him when we were here the other week.' wooyoung laughs. 'am i just talking to air? are you here?'

wooyoung takes pity on him and moves the placket to yes, and watches as yunho visibly brightens. he can see why san's been so besotted.

the conversation is slow and inefficient, and wooyoung gets a crash course in what yunho calls text speech, but wooyoung can't stop laughing.

wooyoung is also willing to concede that he's a bit starved for conversation, and as much as he enjoys chatting with san, it's nice to have some variation.

'i'll be back,' yunho promises as he packs up the last of the things, looking about ten centimetres to wooyoung's left. 'i... might have made a copy of the key. i'll ask san if he wants to come as well, maybe we can all hang out together?' yunho pauses, before putting the last of the candles in his bag. 'you two can't gang up on me if he does, though, keep me involved in the conversation.' he smiles at the air. 'i had a lot of fun tonight.'

wooyoung sticks a hand through yunho in response, only partially because he enjoys watching him shiver.

'i'm going to take that to mean me too, yunho, you're the best conversationalist and so good at pretending you don't feel crazy,' yunho jokes with a laugh wooyoung joins in on.

he'd forgotten how much he enjoyed making friends.

👻

wooyoung gets used to them visiting far quicker than he thought he would, them studying in the days where he can talk to san and move yunho's pens to annoy him, enjoying more boisterous conversation on the occasional evening visit. he spends his time waiting to see them again, waiting to watch how they lean into each other, eyes crinkling, how their touches grow more confident, more comfortable, more instinctual.

'are those x's for kisses or triple x rating?' yunho asks san with a grin, fingers on the oujia board.

yes.

'don't encourage him,' san admonishes and wooyoung boos.

'let him speak!' wooyoung insists.

'so like, i know you wanna watch, but can you even jerk off?' yunho asks and san lifts his hands off the placket immediately, grabbing yunho's wrists to keep them from the board as well.

'nope,' san says, laughing, his ears pinkening, 'i'm not letting him answer you.'

'no, tell me, that's unfair,' yunho laughs, trying to lower his hands to the board again.

'this is sabotage because you're clearly outvoted,' wooyoung tells san, trying to move the placket anyway.

'wooyoung, touch me if it's a yes,' yunho says, helpless with giggles.

'that's cheating!' san cries and wooyoung reaches for yunho's thigh, laughing at his flailing afterwards.

'you're both incorrigible,' san says, collapsing to the floor. 'and bad influences on each other.'

'i don't know what you're talking about,' yunho says with a breathless grin.

'lies,' wooyoung interjects.

'i'm just curious about the metaphysics of ghosts,' yunho finishes, mischief dancing in his eyes.

'you're just a pervert,' san rejoins and yunho gapes in faux offense. he leans over, closer to san.

'that's a secret,' he whispers and gives san a kiss - brief at first, before leaning in to kiss him a little slower, a little deeper. wooyoung licks his lips, trying to remember how it felt to have someone's lips press against his.

'stop indulging him,' san murmurs when they break apart, smile playing at his lips.

'spoilsport,' wooyoung mutters.

'i feel bad for the guy,' yunho defends and wooyoung nods his head.

'yes, you should, i paint a very sad picture.'

'a sad, horny picture,' san replies and yunho's eyebrows raise. 'describing wooyoung,' san explains and yunho makes a sound of understanding.

'i really can't refute it,' wooyoung sighs forlornly.

👻

'i miss music,' wooyoung says on a crisp spring evening.

'music?' san asks.

'hmm?' yunho looks up.

'wooyoung says he misses music,' san explains, and looks back at wooyoung. 'i guess the library isn't really the place for music, is it?'

'you should've said earlier,' yunho says, tapping on his mini-screen. 'what music does he want to listen to?'

'you're already breaking in to see me, i can't ask you to cart in something just for me to-'

'i'll just play my playlist so long,' yunho says and wooyoung startles as music comes from nowhere.

'we can play music on our phones now,' san tells him softly, 'just tell us if there's anything you want to listen to in particular. we can probably find it no problem.'

'i can bring my bluetooth speaker next time,' yunho muses, 'better quality sound.'

as far as wooyoung is concerned, it's the best quality he's ever heard.

he closes his eyes, overwhelmed with gratitude for his friends, for the relief of the silent boredom of his afterlife, for the two beautiful men whose orbit he had fallen into. he hadn't realised how numb he had grown to despondency until he was given an alternative. he lies back and lets himself get lost in the music for a while.

it's not exactly like what he's used to, but it's not bad. of course, he hasn't listened to music for a while, so he might not be as discerning as he once was. he'll think of requests when he's a little less overwhelmed.

'ah, i love this song,' yunho says at some point, and wooyoung cracks open an eye. 'oh, i have an idea.' wooyoung watches as yunho hoists himself to his feet. '... where is he?'

wooyoung sits up in curiosity as san points towards him and yunho walks towards him.

'too far, babe, turn around,' san says, and yunho swivels, holds out a hand.

'you wanna dance?' yunho asks and wooyoung looks up at his hand.

'yeah,' san says, 'he's standing up.'

yunho shudders as wooyoung places his hand through his, and smiles brightly somewhere over wooyoung's head.

it's difficult, when yunho can neither see nor feel wooyoung, and san's definitely laughing the hardest at watching them try to dance together, so it quickly descends into them just dancing next to each other, but wooyoung feels - alive. he feels the closest thing to alive he has since he actually was.

👻

'oh, tell him about the other ghosts,' yunho says.

'other ghosts?' wooyoung repeats, looking at san. 'here?'

'no,' san says.

'what? why not?' yunho asks with a pout and san laughs, reaching out to rest a hand on yunho's arm.

'no, they're not here,' he elaborates.

'ah,' yunho says sheepishly.

'i've spoken to a few other ghosts,' san tells wooyoung. he can't help but feel a short pang of jealousy zipping through him, even if he feels immediately bad about it.

'you don't run screaming from them anymore?' wooyoung says with a small pout.

'only sometimes,' san says, 'if they're really scary ones. but these ones have been nice. i helped a friendly old grandfather and...' his smile grows sad. 'a little girl.'

yunho reaches out to draw san into the hug wooyoung can't give him, and wooyoung thanks him for it.

'she got hit by a car trying to save her cat.' wooyoung's heart aches at san's sombre words. as much as the youth of his demise rankles, the unfairness of that makes him angrier at the world than anything else. 'her dad hadn't finished the bedtime story he'd been reading her when it happened, so i read it to her. finished it. and she...' yunho lays a gentle kiss on san's cheek as he draws a shaky breath. he looks up to fix wooyoung with a stare. 'ghosts can move on, wooyoung. you're not stuck here forever.'

wooyoung's breath catches. confirmation of his deepest wish right when he has something to stay for.

'we don't know exactly how it works, but when i finished the book, she faded away into a glow of light. the grandfather did the same when i showed him pictures of his grandchildren with their children and grandchildren.'

'he's not saying this because we want you to go,' yunho says quietly, 'because we really don't.'

the but goes unspoken. but wooyoung is bound to a university library. but graduation for yunho and san is a little over a year away. but they cannot plan their life around proximity to a certain building. but even if they did, they will grow old and die in a place that is not the library. but wooyoung is terrified of being alone again when they leave, one way or another.

wooyoung nods, not trusting his words, and san pats yunho's arm to mimic it.

outside, snow falls past the window, shining white in the dark.

👻

'do you think you might be able to look for someone for me?' wooyoung asks, when he's gotten comfortable enough in asking for things to think further than his favourite songs, new and old. san nods.

'of course. who do you want me to look up?'

'um. anyone from my family, really,' wooyoung says quietly. 'it's a good chance most of them are dead, so probably focus on my little brother. i just... kind of want to know what happened to them.'

san's brow furrows briefly.

'yeah, that's no problem. i can look it into it. i don't know how long it will take, but i will do it.'

a rush of affection fills wooyoung, and he leans in to kiss san's cheek. san flinches away.

'stop, you know i hate it when you do that,' san whines.

'yunho takes my kisses no problem,' wooyoung rejoins.

'yeah, well, yunho's a freak,' san says and yunho looks up from his phone.

'okay, apropos of nothing,' he says and wooyoung laughs at his face. 'why am i suddenly being attacked.'

👻

it's a quiet whispered, 'i found him' that changes everything for wooyoung.

busy as they are with graduation fast approaching, they've been putting in just as much work for wooyoung.

'which- is he-' wooyoung can barely get the words out.

'your older brother passed a year ago,' san confirms, 'but...' san looks behind him to the doors and wooyoung follows his gaze to see yunho holding the door open for an older man.

his hair is almost fully grey and wrinkles line his face, but wooyoung can still see his little brother in the man in front of him.

'you brought him here?' he whispers and san nods.

'he thought i was crazy at first,' san admits, 'who wouldn't? but i told him some of the stories you told me about him and he said he always thought if anyone could figure out a way to hang around it would be you. he wanted to come.'

'is he here?' wooyoung's brother asks, voice shaky and wooyoung wishes he could hug him properly.

'yes, harabeoji,' san says and wooyoung gives a wet laugh at the thought of his little brother being called grandfather. 'he's right over there.'

his brother's eyes look to where san is gesturing and for a second wooyoung swears he can see him.

'hi, hyung,' his brother whispers, his eyes shining behind his glasses. 'we missed you.'

wooyoung swallows down the lump in his throat.

'i'm sorry i never came home,' he whispers, 'i promised you we'd go to the park.'

'he says he's sorry he never came home, that he didn't get to take you to the park,' san relays softly.

his brother wipes at the tears on his cheek with a quiet laugh.

'hyung named his first son after you,' his brother says, 'and we've been to the park together lots of times. i'm sorry i never came to visit you here.'

wooyoung's shaking his head before he can finish speaking.

'no, you didn't know, you couldn't have known, they dragged my body out, you didn't know. san, tell him he couldn't have known.'

'he says you didn't know,' san says, dragging his eyes from wooyoung. 'that they... he wasn't found here, you couldn't have known.'

his brother nods, gives a cough.

'did it hurt?' he asks quietly. 'mom always worried you suffered a lot.'

wooyoung shakes his head. 'it was like falling asleep,' he lies.

it takes san a few moments to pass it on, and wooyoung hides his bruises from his gaze.

'not at all,' san tells his brother and wooyoung closes his eyes in gratitude. san reaches for yunho, curling into his side and wooyoung's brother gives them a fond glance as yunho's hand strokes san's back in comfort, letting out a small huff of laughter as yunho presses a kiss to san's head.

'oh, sorry,' yunho says, 'i didn't mean to-'

'no, it's fine,' wooyoung's brother hurries to assure them. 'i was just thinking it feels right that you are the ones who found him.' wooyoung's brow creases.

'wait, did you know? about me?' he asks, 'did you all know?'

san smiles. 'he asks if your family knew. that he was...'

'i didn't know at the time,' his brother says, 'and we didn't speak about it out loud much, not for a long time, so i can't say for sure if they knew at the time. but as i grew older... your funeral was well attended. and some of your friends kept checking in on us for many years afterwards.' he smiles. 'changbin hyung would take me to the park sometimes. him and... his partner.' wooyoung laughs. 'it wasn't difficult to figure out in hindsight.'

'and it was okay?' wooyoung asks, something fragile in his chest, and san relays it quietly.

his brother nods. 'when my daughter was in high school,' he starts, 'she came to us as a family, said she liked her best friend more than she liked any of the boys at school. and mom-' he chuckles at the memory. 'it was the first time i'd heard her say it, but she said, your uncle wooyoung was gay, and my only regret is that i never got the chance to love that part of him out loud, so i'm just going to have to do it twice as loud for you.'

san buries his face in yunho's chest as yunho wipes at his own eyes. wooyoung doesn't bother, allows the tears to stream down his own cheeks.

'you were missed, hyung, and loved. every single part of you,' his brother says, his voice trembling, tears in the crevices of his face. 'you still are. will be, as long as i am alive.'

yunho nods, his cheeks wet. 'longer.' he gives wooyoung's brother a smile. 'no offence, harabeoji.'

'none taken,' he replies with a chuckle and a shake of the head. 'i'm glad he has you two to take up that mantle when the time comes. it means a lot to me.'

'i love you all so much,' wooyoung whispers, 'i want you to know that you have made everything - everything - the best it could have been. i cannot tell you how grateful i am.'

and for the first time in his afterlife, the anger and pain falls away and wooyoung feels nothing but love and peace washing through him as he closes his eyes to nothing but gentle, warm white.