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It was a rare day when Morty had a chance to relax.
Rick was off doing God knows what, disappearing through portals whenever he felt like it. Sometimes he told the Beths when he was leaving. Other times, he didn't bother giving anyone a warning.
Morty was already feeling cooped up in his room. He had scrolled through every reel, watched everything there was to watch, and replayed the same content he had already seen a dozen times. Eventually, he decided to get up and head to the pool.
A little fresh air would do him some good. Maybe he could even take a dip. He rarely got to use the pool with Rick constantly dragging him off on adventures.
He grabbed a towel and some sunscreen before changing into his swim trunks. On his way out, he gave his dad a quick nod. Jerry was sprawled across the couch, absorbed in whatever he was doing on his tablet.
Outside, Morty settled into a poolside chair and leaned back, breathing in the fresh air.
It was a beautiful day. The breeze brushed against his face, and the sky couldn't have been bluer. It wasn't even unbearably hot. Rick had already dealt with the temperature, making sure the pool area stayed comfortable.
For once, Morty could actually enjoy himself.
Then—
"Mew."
A small sound caught his attention.
Morty turned his head toward the noise. At first, he couldn't see anything. But then he noticed a small tuft of orange, almost peach-colored fur, poking out from a corner near the pool.
He sat up.
"Uh... hello?"
The fur shifted.
Morty stared at it for a moment before slowly getting to his feet.
The creature had yellowish eyes.
Morty tensed.
He was already reaching for his phone, fingers tightening around it as he prepared to dial Rick. For all he knew, whatever had made that sound was some alien creature Rick had captured, only for it to escape and start wandering around the house.
But then the little creature finally poked its head out.
Oh.
It was a cat.
Morty blinked.
He slowly turned his body toward it, leaning forward to get a better look.
Oh, it was so cute.
The cat was practically a big, fluffy ball of orange and peach-colored fur. Its yellowish eyes watched him with an almost bored expression, its tail curling lazily behind it.
Morty had never owned a cat before. He hadn't really interacted with one, either. His family had always been more of a dog family. Growing up, the only pets he'd ever had were goldfish and dogs.
"Hey," Morty said softly.
The cat didn't move.
Morty crouched down a little, trying to get closer without startling it.
"Come here, kitty."
Nothing.
He waited.
The cat looked away.
"Uh... okay."
Morty frowned. He tried calling it again, this time with a little more enthusiasm.
"Here, kitty kitty!"
The cat continued to ignore him.
Morty stared at it.
"Seriously?"
The cat simply turned away and wandered off.
“Aw...”
Morty watched it go, a little disappointed.
He liked to think he was good with animals. He had always had a soft spot for them. Growing up, animals had been kinder to him than most of his peers. They didn't tease him, bully him, or make him feel like he was doing something wrong just by existing.
But even if the cat had no interest in him, Morty couldn't help grinning.
It was a cute cat.
He settled back into his chair, popped in his earbuds, and put on some music. With the sun warming his skin and the breeze brushing against his face, he finally let himself relax.
….
A heavy feeling settled in Morty's chest as he woke from his nap.
He blinked sleepily, looking down.
Oh.
His eyes widened.
The cat was perched on top of him.
Morty nearly leaped out of his chair to hug the creature, but he caught himself. He didn't want to scare the poor thing away with his sudden movements. Instead, he remained perfectly still, barely daring to breathe as the cat settled comfortably against him.
The cat simply curled itself into a loaf, occasionally throwing Morty a sideways glance. After a moment, it yawned and decided to settle down for a nap.
Morty watched it with a growing grin.
Then he felt it.
A soft, rumbling purr against his chest.
Oh my God.
The cat was purring.
Morty carefully reached for his phone, grateful he had brought it outside with him. He didn't want to risk moving too much, but he absolutely needed to record this.
He opened the camera and started filming.
The cat continued sleeping, completely unaware of how much Morty was losing his mind over it.
Morty smiled at the screen.
This was probably the best day he'd had in a while.
…
He was going to kidnap the cat.
Well, temporarily kidnap it. Probably.
Morty carefully scooped the cat into his arms, making sure not to startle it. Surprisingly, the creature didn't seem to mind. It simply settled against him, looking as though it had already accepted its fate.
"Meow."
"Shhh... please be quiet. I can't let anyone know you're here."
"Meow..."
"...."
Morty stared at the cat.
He had a feeling it wasn't particularly impressed with him.
Still, it was being surprisingly cooperative.
He made his way back toward the house, keeping his movements slow and deliberate. He had to be sneaky about this. His mom would absolutely lose her mind if she found out he had brought a wild animal into the house without telling her.
He could already hear the lecture.
Wild animals could carry harmful diseases. Those diseases could be transmitted to humans. And what if the cat had something that could compromise their immune systems? Beth would go on and on about the risks, probably bringing up some obscure medical paper to prove her point.
Morty loved his mom, but he really didn't feel like listening to a lecture about diseases right now.
Besides, he had a cat.
A very cute cat.
And he was going to keep it.
At least until someone noticed.
He glanced down at the creature in his arms.
"You're not gonna tell anyone, right?"
The cat blinked.
"Good."
Morty continued toward his room, trying his best to remain undetected.
Stealth mode: activated.
…
Morty laid the cat on his bed, bracing himself as he gently scratched behind its ears. To his utter delight, the cat didn't swat his hand away. Instead, it leaned into his touch and let out a small purr.
Aww.
Morty felt like his heart was going to melt.
He hadn't realized he was a cat person. All his life, he had assumed he was more of a dog person, especially since Snuffles had been his favorite pet growing up.But this cat had wandered into his life without warning and had already wormed its way into his heart.
"Meow... meow meow?"
Morty blinked.
"Ohmygosh, are you trying to talk to me?"
The cat stared at him.
"...."
"Meow."
"You're so cute."
Morty tilted his head, studying the cat with a thoughtful smile.
"You need a name."
He paused.
"What do you think of Pumpkin?"
The cat hissed.
Morty blinked.
"Okay. Wow."
The cat looked away, seemingly offended by the suggestion.
"C'mon, it's a cute name! It suits you."
He grinned, showing off his teeth.
"Pumpkin."
"...Meow," the cat grumbled.
Morty couldn't help smiling.
He had an excited, almost giddy look on his face as he watched the cat settle into his bed. He was already thinking of all the things he could do with his new companion. Maybe he could get some toys. Or a little bed. Or—
Just as he reached out to pet Pumpkin again, a sudden noise from outside made him freeze.
“Morty, get up here. I need you to—burp—do something.”
“Hey, R-Rick! Look!”
Morty hurried into the room, holding the orange cat up toward Rick’s face.
“I found this cat outside the house! Isn’t he so cute? Can we keep him? I think he likes me.”
The cat remained completely rigid in Morty’s arms.
Then it let out a sharp, low-pitched hiss that sounded remarkably like a sigh of pure exasperation. Before Morty could say anything else, the cat placed a single paw directly over his mouth.
“Mmff!”
Rick paused mid-drink.
He squinted at the feline, then pulled out his high-tech scanner. A blue laser swept over the cat’s body as the device beeped rhythmically.
Results: 100% Domestic Feline.
Sub-species: Total Asshole.
Rick lowered the scanner.
“It’s just a stupid cat, Morty,” he grunted, wiping his mouth. “Probably crawled through the interdimensional tear I left open in the garage last night. Or maybe Jerry bought it to feel less lonely. Either way, it’s a waste of carbon.”
He waved a hand dismissively.
“Throw it outside before it scratches up the couch.”
“Come on, Rick, look at him! He’s just an adorable little baby!”
Morty cradled the cat like an infant. Pumpkin, trapped in the humiliating posture of a baby, stared blankly at the ceiling.
Rick stared at the cat.
The cat stared at the ceiling.
“Morty, that thing looks like it’s planning your murder.”
“Rick!”
“What? I’m just saying.”
Pumpkin slowly turned its head toward Rick.
Rick narrowed his eyes.
“...Yeah, definitely a total asshole.”
Rick burped, leaning against the wall.
“Look at him. That little shit thinks he’s gonna stay here.”
The cat slowly turned its head toward Rick, narrowed its eyes, and gave him a long, deliberate blink of absolute superiority.
“Little shit,” Rick sneered.
“Rick, stop overreacting! Your imagination is going into overdrive,” Morty snapped. “He’s just a baby.”
“Here, you hold him.”
Morty carefully walked over to Rick, cradling the cat in his arms.
“See? He’s not gonna do anything. You just gotta be gentle.”
But before Morty could settle Pumpkin into Rick’s arms, the cat let out a low, rumbling hiss.
Rick barely had time to react.
Pumpkin swatted at his hands, catching him across the fingers. Rick hissed as a thin line of blood appeared.
“OW! You little—”
The cat wriggled free of Morty’s grasp and leaped onto the bed.
It landed gracefully, sat down, and began licking its paws clean.
Morty stared.
Rick stared.
Pumpkin glanced up at Rick.
Then, with the utmost audacity, it turned its back on him.
“...”
“...”
“See?” Morty said, pointing at the cat. “He’s j-just cleaning himself.”
Rick’s eye twitched.
“Cleaning himself? That little asshole just scratched me!”
Pumpkin paused mid-lick.
It looked over its shoulder.
Then it resumed grooming.
Rick’s face darkened.
“That’s it, you motherfucker.”
He reached into his lab coat, rummaging around for something.
“Where is it? Where the HELL is it?”
“Rick, what are you doing?”
“Wanna go? HUH? Do you wanna go?”
Rick finally pulled out a small device and tossed it onto the table.
Then he began rolling up his sleeves.
Morty’s eyes widened.
“Rick, don’t fight the cat!”
“Why not?”
“Because he’s a cat!”
“Yeah, and I’m Rick fucking Sanchez.”
Pumpkin stopped grooming.
Slowly, it turned its head toward Rick.
Morty looked between them.
“Oh my God.”
“R-Rick, are you seriously gonna fight a cat?”
Rick narrowed his eyes.
“He’s just a precious little thing, you see.”
Pumpkin immediately turned toward Morty, purring as he rubbed his face against Morty’s clothes and began making biscuits against his chest.
“S-See, Rick? He’s just a h-harmless cat!” Morty insisted. “He didn’t mean to do that!”
He turned his attention back toward Rick, carefully keeping Pumpkin out of his line of sight. This motherfucking cat had the smugest look on his face. Rick snapped, grabbing his portal gun.
“Morty, drop the hairball.”
“W-What?”
“Let’s go. Before I decide to drop that primitive animal off on another planet.”
“Aw, man...”
Morty sighed, setting Pumpkin down on the green carpet.
“Alright, buddy. You stay here, okay? Don’t let anyone see you.”
He patted the cat on the head one last time before rushing after Rick.
“Morty!”
“I’m coming!”
He hurried out of the room and followed Rick toward the garage. The garage door slammed shut behind them. Pumpkin sat on the carpet, staring at the closed door. Then he turned toward the living room. A moment later, he trotted over to the outside door, slipped through the opening, and disappeared.
…
Pumpkin landed gracefully on the floor and trotted toward the hallway. Once he was out of sight, he slipped inside a small room and pressed a button.
White enveloped his vision.
He blinked.
He had human arms again.
THEN A wave of CRINGE and MORTY-IFICATION hit him like a bus. (haha pun)
His face flushed as he remembered what had happened. He hadn't even realized what he was doing. One moment, he had been enjoying a perfectly comfortable nap, and the next, he was being carried around like some helpless little baby.
And Morty—
God, Morty.
The way he had held him so gently, as though he were made of glass. The way he had cooed at him, called him cute, and fussed over him like he was the most precious thing in the world.
It was embarrassing.
Morty was so stupidly pure. All radiant sunshine and misplaced affection.
And somehow, that made something in Evil Morty's stomach flutter.
He wanted to crawl into a hole.
The only thing keeping him from completely losing his mind was the knowledge that Rick hadn't figured it out.
Rick didn't know it was him.
That was good.
That was very good.
RIGHT?!?!
His phone beeped.
Evil Morty glanced down.
Rick: Didn't know you had a creepy little fantasy, P-u-m-p-k-i-n.
He send a video of him purring with Morty POV.
WHEN WAS THIS?
...OH...
IT was When he fell asleep and was unaware of Morty recording him
He stared at the message.
For a moment, he said nothing.
Then his eye twitched.
WAIT-
That motherfucker PRETENDEDNOTTOKNOW-