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commissioned artwork by rosenkow on tumblr
Patience is a virtue Kristofer Shepard learned when he was very young; the years since have only helped hone it. Whether at the hands of his parents, his older sister, or the Alliance, he’s always known his place in the world; watch, observe, wait.
He's gotten very good at waiting.
Still, he’d never known the true value of that lesson until the day he met a certain biotic staff lieutenant back on Arcturus; the day they boarded the SSV Normandy together and this whole long journey began. Little had he known then that the first glimpse of a lopsided smile would start him down such a long and convoluted path.
A path while that had led to their current situation fighting the Reapers, and brought with it years of ups and downs that had put both of them to the test.
Today is simply another one of those tests.
The only evidence of a galactic extinction event taking place is in the number of active duty troops stationed aboard the Normandy SR2. Specifically, at this moment, located in the Cargo Bay. 0800h. Morning calisthenics. Their resident fitness master, Lieutenant Vega, has taken to leading them and as always drives them all as hard as he drives himself.
They're twenty minutes in when Kristofer drops to the deck after completing his jumping jacks and positions himself for his next set of reps: sit ups. While in good shape, he isn't as dedicated to working out as Vega, though there is some satisfaction to be found in the physical activity. If nothing else, it gives him something other than the war to think about. He takes a breath and starts his first situp when Kaidan drops beside him, a heavy, weary thump. Pausing, Kris wipes the beads of sweat rolling from his brow and stinging his eyes to glance over at his companion, half curious and half concerned. This is not his partner’s usual behavior. Typically, Kaidan is badgering Kris to get him through their morning routine.
When Kaidan says nothing, simply sits there struggling to catch his breath for a moment before he lies back to start his sit ups. Pulling his lower lip between his teeth, Kris asks, “What’s with you today? You’re usually the one all gung-ho for this.”
The others ignore them as Vega needles them on.
Kaidan grunts through his first sit up.
Dread rises and settles in Kris' belly like lead, the rough expulsion of air from Kaidan's chest instantly triggering a far greater concern. Searching Kaidan's face, he notices tell tale signs of exhaustion. The tighter than usual creases at the corners of his eyes. The way his lips press into a thin line.
Turning to face Kaidan as he comes up for a second sit up, Kris voices his concern. “Is it a migraine?”
It’s not a huff of pain so much as one of wry acceptance that slips past Kaidan's lips. “No. Just… out of shape, I guess.”
On the one hand, the relief that washes through Kris leaves him dizzy for a moment. Kaidan's migraines are no joke, and ever since events on Mars, even though he's been cleared, Kris has worried the migraines might be worse. On the other hand, Kaidan's comment makes no sense. Out of shape? Seriously? If Jack and Miranda and the other biotics he's known are to be believed, there's no way a biotica can be out of shape.
On Kaidan's third sit up, Kris counters, “I call bullshit. First of all, you've never been that out of shape.”
Kaidan ignores him and lies back on the deck.
When he rises again, Kris' green eyes flash with mischief as he finds an appreciative smile to match it. “Second, you’re in better shape now than you were back on the SR1.”
“Heh.”
It isn’t agreement or disagreement, but Kris does note the way Kaidan averts his gaze. Darting a hand out, he stops Kaidan from lying back again while drawing his knees up to his chest as he gives the major his full attention. He doesn't pull away. Looking him straight in the eyes, Kris asks, “You don’t believe me?”
“Not saying that," Kaidan insists. Sighing, he rubs a hand across the back of his neck. “What’s that old saying? It’s not the years, it’s the mileage.”
The reference makes the corner of Kris' lips twitch, but though he would like to, he doesn't laugh. The words do bring back a fond memory of the last time they'd watched that - or any - movie together.
“It’s just…” Kaidan's gaze shifts to something more distant.
No, Kris realizes, to something in the past. Patiently, he waits as the world around them disappears. Right now, they're just two old soldiers - more than that - coming to terms with the present.
“I don't know how to explain it," Kaidan finally says. "It’s… more of a challenge to get through each day now, I guess. Like the choices I make aren't making a difference.”
Kris blinks. He’s never heard this level of gloom from Kaidan before. Not even back when they were chasing Saren to Ilos and didn’t know if they would make it in time. To say that it's concerning is an understatement.
And yet...
Kris moves beside Kaidan until their knees touch. Turning his hand just enough, he extends a pinky out and waits to see if Kaidan will accept it. It's been a long time since the last time he tried this, but...
A thrill ripples through him at the soft, almost embarrassed smile that spreads across Kaidan’s face, and again when his pinky hooks around Kris'.
They sit like that for a moment, Vega and the others completely forgotten. The sad part about it is, Kris understands all too well what Kaidan means. He's had moments like that of late as well. Maybe he just hides it better. Maybe he's too busy with everything else to dwell on it. “That never stopped you before. In fact, as I recall, you were pretty… decisive once we were on our way to Ilos.”
Kaidan’s cheeks darken. “Yeah… different lifetime, I guess.”
Vega’s bark for the next set of exercise reps up at the front of the squad brings the present rushing back to remind them they aren't alone. Gently, Kris brushes his knuckles against Kaidan's as he murmurs, “Same lifetime, just… version 2.0?”
He'd hoped to make Kaidan laugh, or at the very least smile. Engineering humor, right?
Unfortunately, it quickly becomes apparent the joke falls flat as Kaidan’s eyes widen and he sucks in a sharp breath, and he starts to pull away.
But before Kris can even think to find words of apology, Kaidan’s demeanor changes. His eyes crinkle in laughter, and a wide smile spreads across his lips.
It's in that same moment that Kris notices the sprinkle of silver at Kaidan’s temples. Neither of them is as young as they once were and it's starting to show.
Pushing to his feet, Kris rises then extends his hand to Kaidan. “Come on, old man,” he teases around a soft chuckle, “Vega can keep the kids in line. You and I need a boost.”
A look of curiosity crosses Kaidan's face as he accepts the hand up to his feet and they start towards the lift together. The lieutenant in question gives them a hard side-glance even while barking orders to the rest, but Kris just gives him a casual salute.
Snorting softly, Kaidan asks, “What kind of boost are you talking about?”
The doors to the lift close behind them, sealing off from the view of the rest. Only then and with a knowing smile does Kris turn towards Kaidan, guiding him backwards until he stands against the wall. Leaning in closer but still giving Kaidan an exit should he choose to take it, Kris comes to a stop just inches from Kaidan’s lips, hovering over them. He waits a beat for Kaidan to decide. After all, patience, he recalls, often reaps the best rewards.
He isn't disappointed. Kaidan closes the distance between them in a heartbeat, and the kiss... the kiss!. As the lift begins to slow to a stop nearing the Crew Deck, Kris breaks the touch but can't stop a grin from sliding across his face. His grin widens as he notices Kaidan match it. Rewards indeed.
Taking Kaidan’s hand in his, he backs up a step, tugging Kaidan along with him to the door now starting to slide open. Though his eyes sparkle now - delight, mischief, everything in between - he replies to Kaidan's earlier question with a wink. “The caffeinated kind, what else?”