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"You're an insane bastard, did you know?" Soleum spat out the words, uncaring how harshly they were thrown. "Fuck," he muttered, "you don't even care, do you?"
Saheon smiled, his teeth pressed together, widely bemused even though he was technically in danger. He liked this. Hadn't Soleum figured that out by now?
Blood dripped down Saheon's nose, accruing on the cupid's bow of his lips, before sluggishly spreading off to the side of his mouth or leaking onto his tongue.
The metallic taste melting on his tongue was what made it all the better, though Soleum didn't know that.
What a stupid, arrogant jerk, his roommate was.
Why the fuck did Saehon like being thrown around by him so much? It definitely wasn't always like this. Saheon didn't like these sorts of actions at first. It was some kind of contamination—it had to be.
"Are you even paying attention?" Soleum gritted out, sounding aggrieved yet slightly wary all in one.
Soleum shook him, his hand tightening around the small bunch of Saehon's shirt.
Saheon's smile didn't fade. It couldn't fade. He was right where he wanted to be, sick as that might seem.
He was growing tired of how Soleum saw him, but somewhere along the way, those feelings warped. They twisted and spiraled, churning like butter, until a new emotion was uncovered.
He didn't even mind that Soleum treated him no better than a dog, like some street mutt that was kicked and shunned away from establishments.
Saheon was just upset that Soleum didn't think to look at him as if he was worth something.
Saheon could be a dog. He'd be a good one. Couldn't Soleum see that? Saheon was obedient. He followed directions when it suited him. He could be Soleum's, if he only asked.
But Soleum wasn't the type to ask. He wasn't even aware of how much power he held.
Would he care if he knew? Likely not.
Saheon wished he could have given his feelings to someone else—anyone else would have been better. Why couldn't Yeongeun have bewitched him instead?
It must be karma, how Saheon liked when Soleum's nonchalant eyes turned dark in fury.
His eyelashes would flutter more as he yelled out sharp words, and he always stepped closer to Saheon, gripping him by the shoulder or rooting his hand on Saheon's neck, when he was posturing, setting Saheon back in his place as nothing but a starving mutt who begged for scraps.
It wasn't Saheon's fault that he became twisted by those actions.
Soleum was the one who did this to him. Soleum changed him and his ideals. Saheon wasn't supposed to be like this. He could feel it in his bones, the way that he was remade to fit Soleum's purposes.
"I'm paying attention," he finally replied.
Soleum's panted breaths were so cute. "I…" He didn't even know how to respond, poor thing.
His labored breathing made puffs of hot air radiate onto Saheon. He had half a mind to make Soleum continue his panic. Soleum was so close, Saheon could see everything he obsessed over without having to pretend he wasn't staring from afar.
"You're beautiful."
The words slipped from his lips before he could take them back.
Saheon didn't mean to say that out loud. He meant to keep it bottled up inside, the cap sealed and locked forever, with no chance of escaping. Saheon detested these feelings, and he didn't want Soleum—Soleum, who would do nothing with them—to learn of it.
It was hypocritical of him, huh?
"What?" Soleum's voice lost its rage. It lost all emotion, coming out in a small, warbling voice of surprise.
He blinked innocently, confusion startling him so much he was trembling. Soleum was a complete mess because of just one escaped thought. How did he manage to be so intimidating if he couldn't even handle this small thing?
Saheon found that, too, adorable in its own way.
Here Soleum was, treating Saheon as no-good, while Soleum couldn't even see what was clearly in front of him.
"You didn't hear me?" Saheon asked through blood-riddled teeth.
He leaned forward, noticing that Soleum didn't push him back even though he could. Soleum's hand loosened in his shirt, dropping and giving way.
Saheon closed the space between them. He stepped forward and smiled sweetly. He breathed in slowly, taking in Soleum's shocked expression, the way his brow furrowed and caved as Saheon looked up at him.
"You're stunning like this," Saheon said, speaking out the words that had been trapped in his mind, rolling around on repeat with no forgiveness. "The way your eyebrow twitches when you're scared, and the way that you clench your hands to contain your breathing—I love it all."
He lifted his hands, grabbing Soleum on either side of his head. Soleum's pupils shook, and Saheon could see his own reflection in those eyes. He looked deranged, but that's what love was.
"How you talk to thin air and speak your mind only when you must. It's all so interesting. Was I not supposed to notice? Not even when you were in the kitchen, sending me threats that sounded insane? Was I not supposed to fall for that? How couldn't I, when it was you?"
He didn't know what came over him. Insanity, at last? Love, and all of its horrible ends? Lust and its caveats? Saheon didn't know. He could barely recognize himself these days.
But he closed the distance between them. He grabbed Soleum's head and forced him downward, just enough for Saheon to meet him in the middle.
Soleum's lips were chapped. They were cracked and bitten, unprepared for a kiss. Saheon nearly laughed at it, at how he now knew how Soleum's saliva tasted, but he was too focused on keeping his eyes open, assessing Soleum's reaction.
He watched Soleum's shocked expression fade, his eyes closing in acceptance. Was Saheon not supposed to lean into the kiss even further after that?