Chapter Text
[NEW GROUP (6)]
SYSTEM: 6 core participants connected.
SYSTEM: WELCOME, PARTICIPANTS.
SYSTEM: CONNECTION WILL REMAIN ACTIVE UNTIL CONDITIONS ARE MET.
SYSTEM: DO NOT ATTEMPT DISCONNECTION.
Furina
Hello?
Furina
Who has summoned me
Furina
And more importantly, what exactly does “until conditions are met” mean?
Agott
That's what I was about to ask.
Glinda
Oh! Hello, everyone! :)
Glinda
Well, this is certainly... unexpected.
Goro Majima
Yo hello
Goro Majima
Anybody know what conditions we're supposed to be meetin here or are we just wingin it
Taoqi
hi
Odin
Present.
Furina is typing...
Furina stopped typing.
Furina is typing...
Furina
“Present”?
Furina
What kind of response is that?
Odin
An accurate one.
Goro Majima
HAHA
Goro Majima
Alright I like this guy already
Furina
NO.
Goro Majima
What no
Goro Majima
Guy said one thing and somehow pissed you off immediately
Goro Majima
Thats impressive
Furina
It was enough to dislike him.
Glinda
Maybe we should try not to dislike each other within the first thirty seconds? :)
Furina
No promises.
Goro Majima
Too late anyway
Glinda
Maybe introductions would help!
Glinda
You know, names, where we're from, perhaps something pleasant about ourselves.
Agott
Maybe we should figure out how we got here first.
Glinda
We can do both.
Agott
Can we?
Glinda
Yes.
Agott
How?
Glinda
With enthusiasm.
Goro Majima
Heh
Goro Majima
Somebodys got a plan at least
Agott
I'm not the one with the plan.
Glinda
I am! :)
Furina
Finally, someone sensible.
Agott
I wasn't agreeing with you.
Furina is typing...
Furina stopped typing.
Furina
I take it back.
Glinda changed the group name to “✨ New Friends! ✨”
Furina
Absolutely not.
Agott
Isn't that a little premature?
Taoqi
kinda cute though
Furina
TAOQI.
Goro Majima
Heh keep it
Furina
YOU TOO?
Goro Majima
What
Goro Majima
Makes us sound harmless
Glinda
We are harmless! :)
Glinda
...
Glinda
Mostly?
Goro Majima
See now thats less convincing
Glinda
I was trying to be honest.
Agott
That's not helping.
Glinda
Oh, don't be difficult.
Furina changed the group name to “FURINA & Associates.”
Agott
No.
Glinda
Oh.
Glinda
I think that's worse.
Taoqi
who are the associates
Furina
You.
Taoqi
i dont remember accepting a job
Goro Majima
Whats the pay
Furina
There is no pay!
Goro Majima
Then no
Goro Majima
Bad business model
Glinda
Maybe benefits?
Furina
THERE ARE NO BENEFITS.
Glinda
Then yes, that is a bad business model.
Agott changed the group name to “Unknown Magical Phenomenon #1.”
Glinda
That's so clinical...
Agott
Because that's what this is.
Furina
You don't know that it's magical.
Glinda
Oh! I know magical!
Agott
We are six strangers communicating across unknown locations through a device none of us activated.
Agott
That seems magical enough to me.
Glinda
See? Exactly!
Furina
That is not proof.
Glinda
It's a very good start.
Goro Majima changed the group name to “Majima Family.”
Furina
WHAT IS A MAJIMA FAMILY?
Goro Majima
You guys
Agott
No.
Glinda
Aw! That's actually rather sweet! <3
Goro Majima
Dont make it weird
Glinda
I was being nice!
Goro Majima
Thats how it starts
Furina
WE HAVE KNOWN YOU FOR THREE MINUTES.
Goro Majima
Family moves fast
Agott
We are not your family.
Goro Majima
Damn rejected by the whole household
Glinda
Not the whole household.
Agott
Glinda.
Glinda
What? I'm trying to be welcoming.
Taoqi
can we just leave the name alone
Furina
No.
Agott
Probably not.
Goro Majima
Definitely not
Glinda
I can change it back to New Friends! :)
Furina
DO NOT.
Glinda
Fine.
Glinda
You don't have to yell.
Furina
I AM NOT YELLING.
Agott
You are typing in capital letters.
Furina
THAT IS DIFFERENT.
Odin changed the group name to “Team Full Buy.”
Seen by Furina, Agott, Glinda, Goro Majima, Taoqi.
Furina is typing...
Furina stopped typing.
Agott
What does that mean?
Glinda
Is that an organization?
Taoqi
sounds expensive
Goro Majima
HAHA now that I agree with
Furina
WHAT.
Furina
Why are YOU laughing?
Goro Majima
Its funny
Furina
Do you understand him?
Goro Majima
Not even a little
Goro Majima
Thats part of it
Furina
THEN WHY ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS?
Goro Majima
Cause you ain't
Glinda
I don't think that is a good reason to enjoy something.
Goro Majima
Its a great reason
Glinda
All right!
Glinda
Proper introductions this time! :)
Glinda
I'll go first, since apparently no one else wants to be civilized.
Furina
Excuse me?
Glinda
You heard me.
Glinda
My name is Glinda! I'm from Oz, I'm a witch, and I consider myself exceptionally skilled at bringing people together.
Agott
You're a witch?
Glinda
Yes! I went to school for it! ✨
Agott
A school specifically for witchcraft?
Glinda
Well, yes.
Agott
What do they teach you?
Agott
Glyphs? Spell construction? Different forms of magic?
Glinda is typing...
Glinda
Oh.
Glinda
Well, we did have classes.
Glinda
Very good classes, actually.
Glinda
Prestigious classes.
Agott
What kind of magic do you use?
Glinda is typing...
Glinda stopped typing.
Glinda
The magical kind? :)
Agott
That doesn't answer anything.
Glinda
I was afraid you'd say that.
Agott
I'm beginning to think your school wasn't very good.
Glinda
Excuse me?!
Glinda
Shiz University is a perfectly respectable institution.
Agott
You didn't answer the question.
Glinda
I am aware.
Goro Majima
Ooooh cat fight
Furina
Do not “oooh” them!
Goro Majima
What im just watchin
Goro Majima
This is great
Furina
You're making it worse.
Goro Majima
How
Goro Majima
Didnt even pick a side yet
Glinda
There are no sides.
Agott
Her school was bad.
Glinda
AGOTT.
Goro Majima
Yeah nah thats a fight
Glinda
For the record, I do know a very talented witch.
Agott
From your school?
Glinda
Yes!
Agott
What kind of magic does she use?
Glinda
It's complicated.
Agott
How?
Glinda
Well.
Glinda is typing...
Glinda stopped typing.
Glinda
Elphaba is very talented, that's all.
Agott
Elphaba?
Glinda
Yes.
Agott
And what kind of magic does Elphaba use?
Glinda
You are remarkably persistent.
Agott
You keep avoiding the question.
Glinda
I am not avoiding it.
Agott
You are.
Glinda
I am choosing not to answer it.
Agott
That's avoiding it.
Furina
It absolutely is.
Glinda
Oh, not you too.
Furina
I am simply acknowledging reality.
Goro Majima
Whole group turned on ya fast
Glinda
Wonderful.
Glinda
Fine.
Glinda
Someone else's turn. :)
Furina
Gladly!
Furina
Furina.
Furina
Former Hydro Archon of Fontaine, beloved star of the stage, celebrated icon of justice, and quite possibly the most important person in this conversation.
Goro Majima
Former?
Furina is typing...
Furina stopped typing.
Furina is typing...
Furina
Moving on.
Goro Majima
Touchy
Furina
I AM NOT TOUCHY.
Taoqi
you kinda are
Furina
I DON'T LIKE ANYONE HERE.
Glinda
Oh, don't say that. :(
Agott
I don't care.
Goro Majima
Love the honesty in this family
Furina
STOP CALLING IT A FAMILY.
Taoqi
im taoqi
Taoqi
i work for the ministry of development
Taoqi
and i would like to go back to sleep
Glinda
Sleep?
Taoqi
yeah
Furina
At this hour?
Taoqi
what hour is it for you
Furina is typing...
Furina stopped typing.
Taoqi
exactly
Goro Majima
Shes got ya there
Glinda
Actually, she does have a point.
Furina
YOU DO NOT NEED TO COMMENT ON EVERYTHING.
Goro Majima
Could
Furina
DON'T.
Glinda
You really do like your sleep, don't you? :)
Taoqi
sleep is nice
Glinda
Your work must keep you busy.
Taoqi
yeah
Goro Majima
Nobody there makin sure you stay awake
Taoqi
sanhua does sometimes
Glinda
Oh! Who's Sanhua?
Taoqi
someone annoying
Taoqi
but useful
Goro Majima
HAHA
Goro Majima
High praise
Taoqi
for me yeah
Glinda
At least someone's keeping you awake!
Taoqi
unfortunately
Glinda
You say that like you mind. :)
Taoqi
hm
Glinda
Well, now I know more about your coworker than I do about half the people in this chat.
Furina
Whose fault is that?
Glinda
Not mine.
Goro Majima
Pretty sure introductions got derailed like three times already
Glinda
Exactly.
Glinda
So!
Glinda
Who hasn't properly introduced themselves yet?
Agott
Me.
Glinda
Oh! Right.
Agott
I'm Agott.
Glinda
And you're also a witch!
Agott
Yes.
Glinda
See? We already have something in common! :)
Agott
Do you know what a glyph is?
Glinda
Of course.
Agott
What is it?
Glinda is typing...
Glinda stopped typing.
Agott
That's what I thought.
Glinda
I don't like your tone.
Agott
You asked me to introduce myself.
Glinda
I regret it.
Glinda
A little.
Glinda
Are there other witches where you're from?
Agott
Yes.
Glinda
Anyone you work with often?
Agott
Coco.
Glinda
Oh! Another witch?
Agott
An apprentice.
Goro Majima
Any good
Agott
She's learning.
Goro Majima
Thats a diplomatic answer
Agott
She's talented.
Agott
She just has a habit of rushing into things before thinking them through.
Glinda
You sound worried about her.
Agott
I am usually worried about her.
Agott is typing...
Agott stopped typing.
Agott
She's my friend.
Goro Majima
Didnt say she wasnt
Agott
Good.
Glinda
That's sweet.
Agott
No.
Glinda
I didn't say anything else!
Agott
You were going to.
Goro Majima
HAHA
Goro Majima
Everybodys learnin that trick already
Goro Majima
Goro Majima
Furina
And what do you do?
Goro Majima
Run a cabaret
Glinda
Oh! That sounds glamorous.
Goro Majima
Sure
Goro Majima
Till some drunk asshole decides he wants to start swingin at people
Furina
That escalated quickly.
Goro Majima
Thats nightlife for you
Agott
You handle that yourself?
Goro Majima
Sometimes
Glinda
Can you fight?
Goro Majima
Pretty damn well
Taoqi
humble
Goro Majima
Hey I said pretty damn well
Furina
That did not make it better.
Goro Majima
Didnt say it would
Agott
Anyone tell you otherwise?
Goro Majima
Sure
Goro Majima
Kiryu-chan probably would just to piss me off
Glinda
Kiryu-chan?
Goro Majima
Yeah
Agott
Who is that?
Goro Majima
Guy I know
Furina
That explained nothing.
Goro Majima
Didnt ask me to explain him
Glinda
What is he like?
Goro Majima
Stubborn bastard
Goro Majima
Too serious
Goro Majima
Hits like a truck
Goro Majima
Good guy tho
Furina
That became complimentary very quickly.
Goro Majima
Did it
Glinda
A little.
Goro Majima
Huh
Goro Majima
Anyway
Goro Majima
Whos next
Glinda
Odin! :)
Odin
Odin.
Furina
Yes, we gathered that.
Odin
Heavy.
Agott
Heavy?
Odin
Yes.
Glinda
Is that your occupation?
Odin
No.
Taoqi
personality?
Odin
No.
Furina
What does that even mean?
Goro Majima
Weight class
Odin
Closest.
Seen by Furina, Agott, Glinda, Goro Majima, Taoqi.
Goro Majima
HAHA
Goro Majima
How the hell did that work
Furina
WHY DID THAT WORK?
Goro Majima
Dunno but I feel accomplished
Agott
Weight class for what?
Odin
Classification.
Agott
Of what?
Odin
Me.
Furina is typing...
Furina stopped typing.
Furina is typing...
Furina
WHAT ARE YOU?
Odin
Expensive.
Seen by Furina, Agott, Glinda, Goro Majima, Taoqi.
Goro Majima
HAHAHAHA
Goro Majima
Nah I REALLY like this guy
Furina
STOP SAYING THAT.
Glinda
Odin, sweetheart, that wasn't really an answer.
Odin
It was accurate.
Glinda
Yes, but accuracy and usefulness are not always the same thing.
Odin
Noted.
Glinda
Oh!
Glinda
See? Progress. :)
Furina
NO, DO NOT PRAISE HIM.
Agott
Where is everyone right now?
Glinda
Oz! :)
Furina
Fontaine.
Goro Majima
Kamurocho
Goro Majima
Yo hello from japan
Furina
That was not the question.
Goro Majima
Close enough
Taoqi
jinzhou
Glinda
And you, Agott?
Agott is typing...
Agott stopped typing.
Glinda
Agott?
Agott
Somewhere safe.
Furina
That is incredibly suspicious.
Agott
I don't know any of you.
Furina
Neither do I, and yet I answered.
Agott
That was your choice.
Glinda
She's right.
Furina
GLINDA.
Glinda
What? Privacy is important.
Goro Majima
Smart kid
Agott
Don't call me that.
Goro Majima
Alright witch girl
Agott
That's worse.
Glinda
And Odin?
Odin
Bind.
Furina
So none of us are remotely near each other.
Agott
Apparently.
Glinda
How strange...
Glinda
Also slightly exciting, in a terrifying sort of way.
Goro Majima
Eh could be worse
Furina
You keep saying that.
Goro Majima
Still true
Agott
Does everyone have an option to leave?
Taoqi
already tried
Taoqi
nope
Glinda
Maybe whoever brought us together wants us to accomplish something.
Goro Majima
Could be worse
Furina
There it is AGAIN.
Goro Majima
What
Furina
How could this be worse?
Goro Majima
Coulda dropped us all in the same room
SYSTEM: Physical synchronization unavailable.
Seen by Furina, Agott, Glinda, Goro Majima, Taoqi.
Goro Majima
...
Goro Majima
Huh
Goro Majima
Well thats new
Furina
WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?
Goro Majima
Lucky guess
Agott
The system reacted to you.
Glinda
So physical synchronization exists?
Furina
Apparently.
Goro Majima
Nice
Glinda
That is not nice.
Goro Majima
Could be fun
Glinda
That is exactly why it is not nice.
Odin
Connection stable.
Furina
Why do YOU know that?
Odin
Indicator is green.
Agott
What indicator?
Odin
Mine.
Agott
We don't have indicators.
Odin
Unfortunate.
Goro Majima
What color when its bad
Odin
Red.
Goro Majima
HA
Goro Majima
Nice
Furina
WHY IS THAT YOUR FOLLOW-UP QUESTION?
Goro Majima
Useful information
Furina
FOR WHAT?
Goro Majima
When it turns red
Glinda
I hate that I understand his logic.
Agott
It's still bad logic.
Goro Majima
Still logic
Taoqi
im gonna sleep
Glinda
Right now?
Taoqi
yeah
Furina
During an interdimensional crisis?
Taoqi
especially during an interdimensional crisis
Goro Majima
Respect
Glinda
Honestly, I wish I could do that.
Furina
STOP VALIDATING HER.
Taoqi has muted the conversation for 8 hours.
Furina
SHE CAN DO THAT?
Agott
There are notification settings.
Furina
Where?
Agott
Top right.
Furina is typing...
Furina stopped typing.
Goro Majima
Heh
Furina
DO NOT.
Glinda
Furina, perhaps you should sleep too.
Furina
I refuse to sleep until I understand at least one thing happening here.
Goro Majima
Good luck with that
Glinda
That was not supportive.
Goro Majima
Wasnt meant to be
Odin
I will be unavailable shortly.
Agott
Why?
Odin
Buy phase.
Furina is typing...
Furina stopped typing.
Furina
What.
Glinda
I'm sorry, a what phase?
Odin
Buy phase.
Goro Majima
HAHA
Goro Majima
He said it twice that clears it up
Furina
IT DOES NOT.
Glinda
It really doesn't.
Agott
What are you buying?
Odin
Nothing.
Agott is typing...
Agott stopped typing.
Agott
Then why is it called a buy phase?
Odin
Others are buying.
Taoqi:[scheduled message]
Taoqi
buying what
Furina
SHE'S ASLEEP AND STILL PARTICIPATING.
Goro Majima
HAHAHA
Goro Majima
Shes dedicated
Glinda
Or very prepared.
Odin
Equipment.
Agott
What kind of equipment?
Odin
Weapons.
Seen by Furina, Agott, Glinda, Goro Majima, Taoqi.
Goro Majima
HAHA now we're talkin
Furina
NO WE ARE NOT.
Glinda
Why are weapons the part that interests you?
Goro Majima
Why wouldnt they
Glinda
That was not reassuring.
Glinda
Is this some kind of competition?
Odin
Yes.
Furina
And you're participating?
Odin
If selected.
Goro Majima
Fight
Odin
Yes.
Goro Majima
KNEW IT
Furina
YOU DID NOT KNOW IT.
Goro Majima
I know it now
Goro Majima
Counts
Glinda
It does not.
Agott
What happens if you're selected?
Odin
I participate.
Glinda
And if you're not?
Odin
I remain unused.
Seen by Furina, Agott, Glinda, Goro Majima, Taoqi.
Goro Majima
HAHAHAHA
Goro Majima
Nah hold on
Goro Majima
Dont say it like that
Furina
For once, I agree with him.
Glinda
Yes, that was an unfortunate way to phrase that.
Odin
Why.
Goro Majima
Phrasin big guy
Odin
Explain.
Goro Majima
Absolutely not
Glinda
I think that is for the best.
Odin
If selected, I may be dropped.
Glinda
Dropped from the competition?
Odin
Potentially.
Agott
Are you hurt when that happens?
Odin
No.
Furina
You get DROPPED and you're fine?
Odin
Expected behavior.
Goro Majima
HAHA
Goro Majima
Tough bastard
Odin
Yes.
Furina is typing...
Furina stopped typing.
Furina
NO.
Furina
HE DOESN'T GET TO AGREE WITH THAT.
Glinda
I don't think you can stop him.
Furina
I CAN TRY.
Odin
I have been selected.
Glinda
Good luck! <3
Agott
Try not to get dropped.
Goro Majima
HAHA go get em big guy
Goro Majima
Drop somebody else first
Odin
Likely.
Glinda
Maybe don't encourage violence.
Goro Majima
Little late for that
Furina
WHY ARE YOU TWO LIKE THIS?
Odin is offline.
Furina
All right.
Furina
Odin is strange.
Goro Majima
Yeah
Furina
YOU AGREE?
Goro Majima
Course I do
Goro Majima
Guy called himself expensive then told us he gets dropped for a living
Goro Majima
Hes weird as hell
Goro Majima
I like him
Glinda
I think that's fair.
Agott
He's definitely unusual.
Taoqi:[scheduled message]
Taoqi
majima is kinda weird too
Goro Majima
HEY
Goro Majima
What the hell sleepyhead
Furina
THANK YOU, TAOQI.
Glinda
She does have a point.
Goro Majima
Aw cmon princess
Glinda
Do not call me princess.
Goro Majima
Right sorry princess
Glinda
Majima.
Agott
You're different.
Goro Majima
That supposed to make me feel better
Agott
No.
Goro Majima
Damn
Furina
At least Majima knows when he's being strange.
Goro Majima
Usually
Glinda
That “usually” did not help.
Goro Majima
Wasnt supposed to
SYSTEM: Condition progress: 1%.
Agott
It changed.
Glinda
Oh!
Glinda
We did something!
Goro Majima
There we go
Furina
WHAT DID WE DO?
Taoqi:[scheduled message]
Taoqi
if you guys figure it out wake me up
Seen by Furina, Agott, Glinda, Goro Majima.
Furina is typing...
Furina stopped typing.
Furina is typing...
Furina
SHE ISN'T EVEN AWAKE.
Goro Majima
HAHAHAHA
Goro Majima
Still contributing more than us apparently
Glinda
Honestly, I'm impressed.
Furina
I hate this group.
Furina is typing...
Furina stopped typing.
Furina
Fuck, who even added everyone?