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Your heart only stops beating when you die.
That’s what Meili thought, at least. But she can’t feel a pulse, can’t feel the life under her skin. And she can’t breathe, not really. Maybe she died, she thinks, in the helmeted man’s struggle. Maybe if she cuts herself, she won’t bleed. She’ll just stand here, staring at the engraving on the book’s spine, not breathing for eternity.
Because he’d promised her, back then. A good life. A place to belong. To become his, like she wasn’t Mama’s. He’d meant it, hadn’t he? He cared, at least a little, right? But he’d come back from Vollachia and hadn’t said anything. He’d gone with her to the Tower and hadn’t said anything. He’d just looked at Al like he owed something he could never repay. But he owed Meili something, too, and she waited and waited and waited, and now, he was gone. But that was impossible, because he wouldn’t leave her, not forever. He’d promised. He’d promised.
Her heart beats. The book’s spine stares back at her.
A Yin spell, she’d thought. He’d been taken, removed for a little while. There was hope that they could save him, and he’d have the missing piece to fill the hollowness in her chest. But he isn’t just gone, is he? He’s… and she can’t — she can’t breathe, because he’s not breathing, so why should she get to breathe? Why hadn’t he come to her? He hadn’t forgotten, had he? But he did forget, because he’s gone, he’s dead.
The book is frigid and dead, like her. Stiff fingers caress the spine, over the name only she can read, because he’d shared this with her, back then. Proof that he cared, he’d claimed. Now, she knows these words, and she really, really wishes she didn’t.
Natsuki Subaru
Her heart beats. Then again, and again, and suddenly it’s pounding in her chest, and her blood bubbles and boils. Her breaths tear at her lungs, and she laughs. She’s laughing, because Subaru doesn’t die. Subaru is bigger than death. But the book is heavy in her hands, and she laughs through the tears until her throat is parched and her cheeks are soaked.
It’s funny, isn’t it? She’d tried killing him three times! And she’d failed three times! And guess what? Failing to kill him was the best thing that ever happened to her! But it doesn’t matter, because death can’t touch Subaru, but Al somehow can, and now Al is away, far away, and Meili holds the truth in her hands.
Her knuckles whiten, and the laughter cuts off. Al needs to pay, needs to feel what she’s feeling right now. But she doesn’t know where Al is; she doesn’t even know what happened to Subaru. She can find out, though. Maybe she doesn’t want to find out, but she needs to. She needs to.
Because Natsuki Subaru will be avenged.
Falling and crashing and falling and crashing and on and on and on, endlessly endlessly, falling and crashing and falling and crashing, her spine shattered and her bones crushed and her skull splattered and everything was red and she was falling, falling —
A gasp, as life enters her husk. A piece snaps off, again, stuck in the book that she created. And she can’t see the book, not really, not through the blood and the sobs clawing at her throat. Not while she falls to the ground, curling her knees into her chest and trying to pick up the pieces, but they’re gone, lost in a forest filled with childlike laughter. She’s falling, still, but she isn't dead. Maybe she is, a little bit. Her heartbeat is a lie, her breathing is a lie, and Subaru —
He’d lied, he’d lied! And it’s her fault, believing he’s all right. Her fault, for thinking he’d escaped her clutches. How many times? How many times? And why, why, why, after everything she’d done…
A breath, that wasn’t hers. Up there, in front of her. Look at him. He’s breathing. But he’s not alive. She’d killed him. He’s alive, somewhere else. He’d died, and he’d still held her, still cared for her, still promised her a life, after she’d taken his own.
There’s another promise in his eyes now. A fire, found only in her victims when they saw through her mask. Good, she thinks. It’s deserved. But she can’t stop herself from running towards him, even as he flinches and her heart cracks a little. She throws her arms around him, but he’s not there, not really, and she falls to the floor, sobbing her heart out.
The fire dies, like him. It shouldn’t, she thinks. He kneels before her, his hand phasing through her shoulder before he pulls back a clenched fist, a sigh escaping his lips. All she can hear are her own pitiful cries, but she doesn’t look away from him, not once. She just soaks this in, because he’s with her again. Looking at her, only her, with that same quiet understanding as back then. She sits up, refusing to wipe away her tears, and moves a little closer to him. He’s not warm, not even here, actually, and a tightness coils in her hollow heart. “I’m sorry.”
It’s a choked whisper, poison against her lips, and it’s not enough. It could never be enough. But it was, somehow. He smiles at her, soft like the dolls he’d sewn for her, and he holds his arms up, hovering around her shoulders like he’s holding her close again. She can’t feel it, not really, but she pretends, for now. It’s like she’s resting her head on his chest, feeling the heartbeat he doesn’t have. Maybe he’s breathing out his words, and it’s so good to hear his voice, she could almost cry again. She does cry, a little bit.
“Tell me everything.”
It was in a forest, she thinks. Maybe it was an empty house, or a field of wheat, or the middle of a city. She couldn’t see, back then. But the forest floor seems right. Why else would she feel so dirty?
She wasn’t human. Wasn’t a person. Just a bag of meat, shattered into a million pieces. No thoughts went through her mind. She had no mind. There was nothing but laughter, echoing all around her. Then she was a person again, but the pieces that made up Meili were scattered.
She’d spent her whole life picking them up, but one was lost forever.
The shadows spiral up the Watchtower, slithering through corridors and searching for her. It’s punishment, she thinks. She doesn’t care. She stays close, as close as she can, and pretends it means something to him, too. He’s not “Natsuki Subaru,” he says. “Natsuki Subaru” could give her the world, if he wanted. But she just wants him.
Their hands overlap, and it’s like he’s guiding her through the darkness. He stands in front of her, as if it made a difference. But it did, didn’t it? It made all the difference in the world.
A phoenix arrives. Reinhard drives back the shadows, and Meili breathes a little easier. She can’t stay here, she knows. She wouldn’t stay here, anyway.
The others are licking their wounds, or trying to, at least. Garfiel and Ezzo hover over Petra — Petra, innocent Petra, who shouldn’t have been here at all. Petra, who she’d almost killed, too. She’s so, so glad she failed, but does it even matter anymore? With breaths so shallow, her chest barely moves, and there’s so much red, it’s like Meili is falling again.
Garfiel looks up, and there’s a little hope in his eyes. She could say something. “Subaru’s here,” she could say. “I killed him, didn’t you know?” But she doesn’t say anything, because Subaru is still looking at her, still talking to her with a gentle smile that feels like changing out of blood-soaked clothes. Subaru knows her, only her, and she’s selfish, she thinks, but she steps a little closer, nonetheless.
A battle rages outside, unfathomable and indescribable. Subaru glances nervously, but the expression vanishes, and he squeezes her hand, or tries to. It makes her smile, and she shouldn’t be smiling. She’d learned nothing. Al is gone, Subaru is gone, and Meili—
“We need to go,” she says, gulping as all eyes turn to her.
Ezzo’s voice is flat. “Miss Petra is in no condition to travel.”
Meili wasn’t referring to any of them, but the clarification is ash in her mouth. Her gaze falls to Petra, and her eyelids droop. “Keep her safe.”
Turning on her heel, she leaves, shrugging off Garfiel’s hand on her shoulder and his shouts at her back. When she’s done, she’ll come back and take them home. With quick strides, she descends the not-bloody stairs, exits the Tower, and mounts a ground dragon, not sparing a single look at the two calamities battling for the fate of the world.
“Are you sure?” Subaru asks for the hundredth time. “Shouldn’t we wait for the others to help?”
Her answer is automatic. “Al will only get farther away.”
“Yeah, but—”
“We have a deal, Subaru. I’m done waiting.”
She kicks her heels, and they’re off.
Elsa had a piece missing, too.
She’d been even younger than Meili, and when she’d been haphazardly put back together, a hunger gnawed at her gut, thrashing and craving, refusing to be satiated. The moment she made that first slash, however, she felt whole, for a little while. She taught Meili, too. A kindness, in a sense. An assassin’s empathy. But no matter how many Meili killed, she never found the missing piece.
Maybe Elsa was the piece, she’d thought. They were sisters, weren’t they? They loved each other, Mama said. They did love each other, in their own way.
But Elsa was dead, and Meili was alone.
Al is similar to Subaru, Meili realizes during the carriage ride.
“You think he has Return by Death?” Subaru asks.
She grimaces at the tasteless term. “Maybe? I don’t know. But the way he fights is just… It’s beautiful, in a way. Like he always knows what’s coming.” Looking at Subaru, her voice drops to a whisper. “Just like you.”
There’s a strange smile on his face. “‘Natsuki Subaru’ was an incredible guy, huh?”
“You’re incredible.”
The words tumble out before she can stop them, and heat rises to her cheeks. That’s fine. Let it. He rubs the back of his neck, and she scootches a little closer. They’re overlapping now, and it’s cold, but it’s okay. He’s here, even if he’s not. Leaning over, he holds his arms around her, and she pretends they’re back in the Tower, and he understands her better than anyone else. And she pretends they’re right outside the Tower, and he asks her—
“You meant it, right?”
Her voice is small, so small, and she’s asked him this before, a hundred times, a thousand times, yet he never gets mad. He just gives her that same wistful look, but there’s a glimmer in his eyes this time. “I can’t say for certain what ‘Natsuki Subaru’ was thinking,” he says, and he always says that, though the next part was different, “but I know I’d ask you that.”
She cries again, but that’s okay, because he’s holding her, kind of. Maybe it’s not okay. Maybe she can’t pretend much longer. A little longer, maybe, as she sinks into the carriage seat, her gaze on the horizon.
They arrive at Mirula, and there’s someone waiting for her. Has she seen him before? She thinks she has, once, but she had not thought him important. Butlers were spares. But Subaru was a butler, back then, so maybe it was worth listening.
“The Authority of Melancholy…” Meili rolls the words around her tongue. They’re sour and tart and, and just nasty, but there’s a pull to them, too. She says it again, and it’s a bit more palatable, this time. Maybe it’s not. Maybe she just wants it to be. “The only way to beat an Authority is with an Authority, right?”
“That is my understanding. Confirmed.”
Subaru rubs his chin. She wonders if he can feel it. “So, that’s how he did it, huh?”
Meili doesn’t take her eyes off Clind. “Why won’t you use it, then?”
His smile is thin, and it’s predatory, she thinks, the way his eyes gleam. Elsa used to look like that. “I do not have much left to give. Apology. You, however, have much potential, young lady. Assumption.”
Subaru steps in front of her, but for the first time, she doesn’t want him to. His voice is low, almost like a growl. “Something’s not right. Don’t listen to him.”
But she does. She has to. She needs to. “We have a deal,” she echoes, and Clind’s smile widens. “Besides, even if I’m not the Hero, I should be pretty compatible with something like Melancholy.”
There’s a strange sound, high and raspy and off-tune. Clind’s laughing, she realizes. “A remarkable assumption. Amused. Young lady, you are fundamentally incompatible with this Witch Factor. Undeniable.”
She gives him a blank stare. Maybe he was confusing her with Petra. “Do I look like a bundle of joy to you?”
He’s laughing again, and she hates it. She hates that sound. “Young lady—”
“Don’t call me that.”
The thin smile doesn’t waver. “Meili. You still have hope, do you not? Question.”
Her gaze flicks to Subaru. That’s all the confirmation Clind needs.
“One more thing. Addendum.” He’s already taking out a black box, and the pull from earlier increases twice over. “The Witch Factor is not yours. No. You are the Witch Factor’s. It will not accept sharing your soul with something so insignificant as a Divine Protection. Eliminated.”
Meili is already reaching for the box, but she freezes. Wasn’t that the one thing that made her special? Wasn’t she the Mabeast Tamer? But mabeasts couldn’t stop Al, couldn’t stop Subaru, and couldn’t stop Mama, either. Meili wasn’t enough. Not yet.
She grabs the box, and a piece breaks off.
He used to visit her, back then. Brought food and gifts and dolls and conversation. She didn’t say much, but she listened. He had a nice voice, she thought. That was all. She didn’t care when he’d sit close or sling an arm around her shoulder. She didn’t get jealous when he’d talk about “Beako” and how much he loved her. Not at all. As an assassin, she was simply waiting for the opportunity to kill him. And the opportunity came, many times. The sharp keys dangled loosely at his belt. A perfect substitute for a dagger. But she never took the chance. Not once. He had a nice voice, she thought.
It’s funny, looking back on it. Killing him then would have brought her to this exact same moment.
She doesn’t pray. Who would she pray to? But tribute is demanded, and a sacrifice is made.
Od Laguna, I swear I will never play with mabeasts.
The world compresses, and chaos reigns. Shouted spells and slithering miasma, uncountable combatants and him. He’s here. Aldebaran.
The urge to summon a mabeast is deflected. That should be sad, she thinks, but it’s not sad, because it’s worth it, and that makes it not sad, right? Besides, she can’t fight Al with mabeasts. She’d tried. She’d failed. And she has something better now, anyway.
Od Laguna, I swear I will never think of Elsa again.
A hole opens in her heart, and another piece falls out.
It’s like she’s one with Subaru’s allies. Are they her allies, too? They’re apart, spread out across the battlefield, yet they’ve never been closer. She doesn’t explain. They understand. They know.
“Al can’t die,” Felt says, or thinks. Meili isn’t sure.
“He does die,” Emilia says. The silver bell has never sounded duller. “He comes back. That’s how he always knows what to do.”
“An ugly power,” Ram says, “yet it’s familiar. He moves like Barusu.”
Meili’s heart drops into her stomach. “It’s nothing like him,” she says, and redirects their focus. “Capture Al, don’t kill him. Knock him out so he can’t loop.”
Hours pass in a fraction of a second, and in the center of it all is Meili, closing her eyes. Her heart beats. Veinlike threads connect her to everyone, friend and foe alike. She sees them, like she sees Subaru frowning at her. She can feel when something goes wrong, when someone is in danger, like when Gluttony slashes at Ram—
Od Laguna, I swear I will never seek comfort from someone’s hand.
As she steps away from Subaru, the frown on his face turns into a snarl. “The hell are you doing to yourself?”
“We have a deal,” is all she says.
He shoves his arm to the side. “To hell with that! It’s already yours! It’s what I want, anyway! You know it’s what I want!”
The words pass through her, like his touch. “Then why didn’t you say anything?”
He can’t answer that, and his silence becomes an opportunity.
Od Laguna, I swear I will never accept an embrace.
And the battle begins.
Od Laguna, I swear I will never enjoy the fresh air.
Od Laguna, I swear I will never play with dolls.
Od Laguna, I swear I will never make friends.
Through hole after hole, the pieces fall out, but everyone’s heart beats as one. She should feel empty, she thinks, but it’s heavy and suffocating, and it’s okay, really. Subaru’s crying and begging for her to stop, but she’s going to save him, so it’s fine, she thinks.
Manipulating the threads that sprawl from her heart, Meili controls the battlefield like a tactician, moving hundreds of spilled pieces around a map. It’s easy, almost laughable, though she wonders how many times she’s done this, and not known. How many times she’s killed Subaru, and not known.
Gluttony falls. The Black Serpent falls. The pink ninja falls. Even the husk of the Divine Dragon falls. But she’s not done. Not yet.
Al is gone, and Meili follows.
It feels like forever ago, but it wasn’t that long ago, was it? When she’d sought vengeance. That’s the missing piece, she’d thought. Kill the man who took Elsa from her. But he hugged her, instead. He understood her. He cared for her. He saved her life, and all he wanted in return was her happiness.
She’d killed him, and he smiled at her.
Something beat differently in her heart that day. She’s always had a pulse, she thinks, but warmth didn’t pump through her body until then. He’d tell her all sorts of wonderful things about the kind of life he could give her, about how happy she could be, about how excited he was to take her home. He’d hold her, often, and she’d return his embrace, sometimes. Their new dynamic was nice, she thinks, but it wasn’t enough. It felt like half a step, when all she wanted to do was leap.
That came suddenly, during the Battle for the Watchtower. Seemingly out of nowhere, he’d shouted a question over the blistering winds. A question so absurd, she’d had no idea how to respond.
“Once everything's over, will you become my daughter?”
Life didn’t course through her veins, until then.
She hadn’t answered, not really. Thrown off their mount, she’d lost sight of him, and he was taken into the shadows. He came back, though, because of course, he did. And it was over now, wasn’t it? They were going to the Tower to find someone’s Book of the Dead, but the war was over. Yet Subaru didn’t look her way; he hardly even spoke to her. He only looked at Al, like Meili had been a project, and he was moving on to the next. His one good deed for the day, maybe. And she didn’t ask, because under pressure, he wouldn’t give a genuine answer. She refused to be more of a burden than she already was. But was it so selfish of her to want to be wanted, without having to ask for it?
The answer was unveiled upon reading his Book of the Dead. Yes. Yes, it was selfish, and insane, and absolutely stupid to think that he’d want someone like her anywhere near him. But she still wanted him. She just needed to earn it.
So, they made a deal.
Subaru isn’t talking or smiling. He’s just crying.
He used to smile at her, just minutes, hours ago. He didn’t say much, not really, since he didn’t understand this world, but he’d listen to her and smile, interjecting with a silly comment or a question.
Now, he just cries.
It doesn’t make sense, she thinks, and her chest hurts whenever his sobs renew, but she can’t just stop. Because they’re here, finally. With Al, at the edge of a crater. An onyx glints in the sunlight, and Meili’s gaze narrows.
“Finally,” she says. Has her voice always sounded like this? So… flat, and brittle.
Subaru steps closer, but she can’t even pretend to take his hand. “Be careful.”
Her smile is thin. It’s difficult, she realizes, to think of what else to give up. She’s never had much to her name. There isn’t anything simple that she can sacrifice without dying, but she manages to think of something.
Od Laguna, I swear I will never cry.
Tugging at her heartstrings, space gets compressed, and her allies are here, debriefed and ready to fight.
… But they aren’t. They’re on the ground, moaning and their eyes glaze over and… and she doesn’t understand! They just got here! They should be fighting alongside her!
Yet her heart is beating in solitude.
A metallic rattle steals her attention. “So, you’re the one pulling the strings, huh?” A step forwards, then another, his sword drawn and pointed at her. “Just who are you, kid?”
She stares at him, and she’s not breathing, again. Subaru’s gasping as he takes in the scene, but Meili can’t gasp, can’t breathe. She needs time to think, and—
And she doesn’t know what else to give up. Everything she had, everything she could be. There’s nothing left to give, but she needs time. She needs more time.
… But she does have something, doesn’t she?
She inhales. That’s good. She’s alive, for now. Glancing at Subaru, she feels the kindling inside her heart. Clenching her fist over her chest, she closes her eyes and smiles. Maybe it’s okay to give this up. It’s selfish, anyway, and there’s something she wants far, far more.
“Hey, Subaru?” She doesn’t stop smiling, because it’s okay, really. “I know I haven’t saved you yet, but I’m taking my side of the deal early.”
He blinks at her. “I mean, that’s fine, obviously. We didn’t even need a…”
As he trails off, fear enters his gaze. The same fear as when she’d pushed him off the Tower, yet it isn’t for himself, this time. This moment should be cherished, she thinks. Because really, it is okay. It’s what she’s wanted, all along, even if she can’t have it forever. Her voice cracks, a little. “The real Subaru will understand, right?”
He’s crying again, but his chin dips ever-so-slightly. “He’d do it for you, too.”
Warmth pulses through her body one last time, and she speaks.
“I am the Witch of Melancholy… Natsuki Meili.”
For a second, it’s like she belongs. Like everything is going to be okay. But it isn’t okay, not yet. Not until he’s safe.
Od Laguna, I swear I will never be part of someone’s family.
Just like that, she’s left in darkness.
Time compresses, and she finds her answer. She smiles, but the smile is different. Maybe Al is scared of it, beneath the iron. She hopes he is.
The box is removed from her robe. She opens it, and her smile widens.
“I’m sorry, Subaru.”
And she absorbs the Witch Factor into her body.
What had she been expecting, again?
Something nasty, for sure. A writhing sludge, oozing through her veins. Excruciating pain, nonstop screaming. Insanity, insanity, nothing and everything, all at once, but it’d be worth it if he’s saved. That’s what she was expecting.
She feels nothing.
Life doesn’t flow through her veins. She doesn’t breathe, maybe. She can’t really tell, can’t see, either. She’s a bit tired, actually. A nap sounds nice, but it’s really noisy. Something calls for her, but there’s this… this buzzing sound, and it’s everywhere, you know? Not a buzzing, actually. More of a… rattling? It’s annoying. She doesn’t like it. She hates it. She hates it, she hates it hates it hates it, so she stops it, permanently, but then it starts again. She starts again, and again, and again, and she just wants that sound to go away and give her back what’s hers, what she can’t call hers, and that sound is everywhere, and she’s just so tired. But the noise won’t go away, and there’s something else, reaching for her, batted away by a phoenix, and it’s slithering towards her, like a shadow. Can shadows slither? It wants to punish her, she thinks, but she can’t really think, because that rattling is everywhere. She keeps stopping it. How many times has she stopped it? A hundred times? A thousand times? Maybe it never stopped. Maybe it just keeps looping and falling and looping and falling, endlessly endlessly, and she’s just so tired, you know? She stops the rattling, but… what’s the point, anyway? It just keeps going and going, and she keeps stopping it, but she’s just so tired, but she can’t stop stopping it, but it’s just so much effort, so she puts a little less effort into it, stops it a little more gently, and it still stops, and it keeps stopping, and it stays stopped. She can rest now, but she can’t, because she can’t. She can’t rest. She has something to do, but she doesn’t. There’s nothing. It’s gone. She’s gone. The shadows are gone, too. They’ve been gone for a while. She’s been gone for a while, too. But at least it’s quiet, until the phoenix comes, and then it’s bright, so bright, and she can see again, and it hurts, it hurts so bad, but it’s lighter, and it hurts a little less, just a little, and a voice calls out to her—
She gasps.
Subaru’s there, really there, and he’s reaching out a hand, but she steps away, because she can’t, she can’t, and he recoils, but he understands, because he’s Subaru, and he always understands. Because there’s a light in her soul, untainted by the darkness. A light that only he can see, and she knows, somehow, the same way she knew about the shadows. And he’s here, he’s Subaru, and there’s a look in his eyes. Her breathing quickens, because he can’t— please, don’t do it!
“Don’t go!”
Her lips are dry, so dry, and the words crumble in the air, but he hears, and he smiles. She remembers now, and the shadows creep behind her, but she doesn’t care.
“Please don’t,” she whispers, and she can’t cry. Not anymore. “I need you.”
There’s a heavy exhale, but his look doesn’t fade, and her hollow heart pounds in her chest. He looks to the side, and she follows his gaze, stiffening when she finds a mass of limbs, of flesh and blood and viscera and organs, but it’s alive, somehow, just barely. And Subaru looks at it like he owes something that he can never repay, but his gaze doesn’t linger. It goes right back to Meili, and his smile is small and sad. He's smiling at her, only her, when he speaks.
“I don’t want to live in a world where you’re so unhappy.”
She’s shaking now, because she can’t — can't anything, except shake and speak. “B-But our deal—”
“We don’t need it.” His voice is gentle, and kind, and it’s like something’s trying to fit together, but all the other pieces are gone. “I promised you, remember?”
She wanted to believe him when he spoke like that, but she couldn’t, because, because— “You broke your promise!”
It’s cruel, she thinks, but she wants that to hurt, a little bit. Except he just chuckles, and it’s infuriating, but it’s not the happy laugh he used to give.
“My fight isn’t over,” he says.
… Oh. It’s that simple, isn’t it?
“But…” He holds up a finger, and his smile brings a little more light into her heart. “That’s a long way away, and there’s a lot of fun we can have, in the meantime.”
Crimson dribbles from his lips, and she wants to cry. She wants to hug him, but she can only shake. The shadows are drawing in, and he’s smiling, he’s just smiling at her, like everything was going to be okay.
“I’ll see you soon, Natsuki Meili.”
And the Witch of Melancholy ceases to exist.
“Hey, Subaru?”
They’re in the Tower, and he’s holding her, kind of. The tears are still falling, but there’s a lightness in her heart. A beacon in the void, driving out the hollowness. He’s smiling at her, only her, and it’s an incredible smile, she thinks. She wants to see it every day — when she comes down for breakfast, when she comes home from ferrying people to the Tower, and before she goes to bed, after he wishes her a good night’s sleep.
“I want to make a deal, if that’s okay.”
He already knows, somehow. She hasn’t tried to hide it, not really. And his smile is brilliant, and maybe that’s the missing piece, she thinks. Maybe it’s how he’s reaching up his hand with his pinky outstretched. Maybe it’s the way his voice sounds so real, so honest, like she can believe any promise he makes.
“Whatever you want,” he says, and she’s already curling her pinky around his, careful not to let it pass through.
“I will save you.” The words sound strong, but she’s never felt so small, and maybe it’s okay to be small, around him. “In return, I get to be your daughter.”
She’s presumptuous, she thinks, and she’s taking advantage of him. She would have saved him anyway, and he knows, since he’s throwing his head back and laughing.
“Nothing would make me happier.”