Work Text:
The thought hits Robby on a random Tuesday afternoon. Nothing particularly note-worthy about the day, it had been a very normal and uncharacteristically calm(ish) day at work. Dennis was supposed to be charting but instead he was joking about with Trinity and Mel. Robby was supposed to be reading the patient notes in front of him but instead he was watching Dennis’s eyes crinkle shut as his loud laugh echoed around the otherwise quiet and depressing ED.
And that’s when it hit him.
He’s in love with Dennis Whitaker.
The thought shocks him so much that he drops the iPad he’s holding, causing people around him to stop and stare. Robby is not a normally clumsy person so it is an out of character move. He awkwardly clears his throat and grabs the offending device before briskly walking away as if he is too important to be leaning against the hub counter.
The conversations continue as Robby walks off, as if nothing out of the ordinary has happened. But while everyone else continues about their day, Robby’s whole world is crashing down.
His feet take him to the stairwell before he can register where he is going, bursting out onto the roof with a panicked gasp.
This thing between them had started only a few months ago, after a particularly difficult shift. Robby had suggested a drink but neither of them were in the mood for a packed bar, so it had made sense to just go back to his place. They were pent up and stressed so when Dennis climbed into his lap, he’d eagerly kissed him. They’d both needed the release to take the edge off. That’s all it had been, a way to unwind after a long shift, and if they spooned afterwards then that was their business.
At first, Robby had been hesitant because he was sure Dennis would eventually want more than Robby could give, want more affection, more commitment, more love. But it was Robby who’d lost control of his heart.
“Fuck!” He shouted, slapping his hand down on the metal barrier.
This wasn’t supposed to happen, it was just sex. They’d both agreed, only casual. Just a little fun fooling around, the thought of settling down was never even discussed. Never even considered.
And now Robby had stupid, unrequited feelings for Dennis. Who would no doubt let him down gently if he found out. The fact that he’d even wanted Robby as a casual fuck-buddy had been a miracle in itself but to actually consider him as a serious partner would be ridiculous.
Robby shook his head, he was at work and he was currently behaving like a teenager with their first crush instead of an attending.
He returned to the hub to no fanfare, nobody had even noticed he had slipped off to have a crisis on the roof.
Robby decided he had three choices.
Number one. Carry on as if nothing had changed, still keep his no-strings attached relationship going while Dennis slowly took a hold of his heart only to break it the second someone better came along.
Number two. Gradually reduce his contact with Dennis until they were nothing more than colleagues who had had a questionable fling but both moved on from.
Or number three. Grow up and tell Dennis the truth.
But as he caught Dennis’s eye across the hub and felt his heart flutter as the soft smile he received, he knew he only really had one choice.
~~~
Robby had been in a strange mood all afternoon, ever since he’d dramatically flounced out the hub after he’d thrown the iPad. Sure, nobody else had noticed but they weren’t watching Robby like Dennis, they didn’t know all his tells like he did.
He knew it was pathetic and a cliché to fall for your situationship, the one you had assured multiple times you weren’t looking for a relationship until you were done with your residency. But he couldn’t help it, he’d done casual before but this felt different. The way Robby held him, kissed him, caressed him felt a million miles from casual.
It was about two months in when Dennis realised how he felt, he was debating doing the scuffle of shame around the room to gather his discarded clothes when he felt a heavy arm around him and pulling him flush. Nothing was said but Dennis knew it was a silent invitation, that Dennis was welcome to share Robby’s bed if he wanted, and lord how he wanted. When he woke up the next morning to see Robby’s face softened by sleep in the pale morning light that was sneaking through a crack in the curtain he knew. He knew was in love.
But he kept that to himself, a secret buried so deep it only ever came out when he was wine drunk with Trinity and they were swapping tragic love stories.
However, the way Robby was dodging him all afternoon he was sure he’d figured it out. It wouldn’t have been that hard, Dennis was sure his adoration was written all over his face whenever he looked at Robby. He’d practically jumped away from Dennis when he’d asked if he was okay and gently placed a hand around his waist.
Dennis dreaded the day Robby called time on their situation, he wanted to call it a relationship but he knew he couldn’t. He was sure today was the day based on Robby’s behaviour, he knew that Dennis was pathetically in love with him so he was going to cut all ties with him. But he’d still asked Dennis to meet him at the end of their shifts so he couldn’t have worked it out. Surely.
So here Dennis was, dutifully waiting in the ambulance bay for the love of his life who just wanted a quick fuck to release the tension. He smiled as Robby walked out the doors, swiftly coming over and pressing a kiss on Dennis’s lips. He was too shocked to even return the peck, they did not kiss outside of the darkness of Robby’s bedroom, but he supposed they were the only two around so they had their privacy.
“Shall we go out for dinner?” Robby asked, wrapping an arm around Dennis’s shoulder and leading him towards his car before he’d even had a chance to respond.
Dennis had never been more confused but he nodded all the same. They never ate out, sure they might have a takeaway but that was for needs purposes only. Robby never wined and dined him, there’d never been a need. Dennis was willingly Robby’s whatever he did.
He was still a little concerned he’d been rumbled if the silence in Robby’s car was anything to go by. And, if this was a break-up meal, he was going to make the most of it. Least he’d have one last happy memory with Robby.
But, by the end of the night, they both realised they had had no reason to panic after all.