Work Text:
It was a quiet evening when just the two of them were in Mr. Milverton's Brighton manor. Ruskin used to like evenings like these, these were his favourite times. No one was around and he could get intimate with his beloved employer without needing to fear discovery. However, just like everything else, this changed in the last few months. Now, no matter how brightly the lamp was shining on the cupboard, it couldn't chase the darkness away completely. If Ruskin looked up, he saw a terrifying entity looking back at him from the shadows. It made him hold Mr. Milverton stronger. The man was now lying on the sofa and rested his head on Ruskin's lap. His eyes were closed. He didn't say anything, just let Ruskin's hand caress his face. Ruskin used to pamper his curly, silver hair on evenings like these and he could never get enough of it. He couldn't do that anymore.
Mr. Milverton's beautiful hair was gone. But Ruskin would have gladly sacrificed it if he could make his beloved employer stay. He knew that he couldn't lose him. Especially not to something like cancer.
A tear ran down on Ruskin's face as he remembered that day when the doctor told the results of Mr. Milverton's medical check. It was supposed to be nothing extraordinary, Ruskin forced his employer to go on a complete medical examination every year. He did everything he could to keep Mr. Milverton healthy, so hearing the news was like the coldest shower he could receive. His employer took it surprisingly calmly, but Ruskin broke immediately. He blamed himself for his employer's cancer. If he was more careful, if he did more, then they would have never needed to come to this and he didn't need to come to terms with the possibility that he might lose the love of his life.
And it will be his fault.
"That is stupid, Ruskin. You are not the one to blame." Mr. Milverton tried to talk sense into him as soon as he heard his secretary's words. "In fact, you are the reason why it got discovered so early. If you didn't keep insisting that I should go through these examinations, I would have never done that. I still have a chance thanks to you. And I don't doubt that I will heal in no time."
Ruskin looked into his employer's eyes, but he could barely see them through the tears. He just nodded.
"Yes, sir. You will heal."
He tried to take up Mr. Milverton's positive attitude and hope that the medicines and the therapy helps, but it didn't. As Mr. Milverton's state became worse and worse, he also started to lose hope. The chemotherapy treatment made him weak and he needed to stop working which under normal circumstances, would have never happened. Mr. Milverton loved his work, but he had no strength left for it, nor for his evil plans. He quietly gave in to Ruskin's suggestion that they should retreat to the Brighton villa where Mr. Milverton could rest. The fact that he didn't oppose made Ruskin's heart break. It was like his employer accepted that it was his fate. It was like he even wanted to die.
Ruskin watched Mr. Milverton's face. It hurt to see what the cancer left from the ethereal beauty. His beloved employer became bald and the wrinkles turned deeper while their numbers increased. He was always unnaturally pale, but now, his skin was almost transparent. He lost weight, Ruskin was able to and sometimes needed to carry him in his arms even in the manor.
To think that Mr. Milverton, who was once so powerful, so full of life, became so fragile in a drastically short time was like a stab into Ruskin's heart. He wanted to scream, but he didn't allow himself weakness. When he saw that his employer's eyelids moved, Ruskin quickly wiped down the trace of the tears from his cheeks. He didn't want Mr. Milverton to see that he was crying again. He wanted to be strong for him, but it was so hard. He didn't know what else he could do other than watching his beloved slowly lose the fight against the deadly disease.
Ruskin's eyes met with a faint golden gaze. It lost its sparks and almost looked gray in the shadows.
"Do you still find me beautiful?" Mr. Milverton asked. His voice was weak and soulless. The question brought tears to Ruskin's eyes again. He was desperately fighting them not to cry.
"Of course, sir." He answered and gulped. "How could I not? You will always be beautiful in my eyes - beautiful and strong. Strong enough to defeat this illness. You will heal and everything will be as it was before." He told Mr. Milverton, and despite how much he tried to, he didn't sound confident.
He heard that Mr. Milverton let out a cynical chuckle.
"Even you don't believe in this anymore." He whispered. "Soon, I will lose all my remaining strength... and just die."
Hearing Mr. Milverton speak like that was unbearable to Ruskin's ears. He clenched his fists so hard that his nails scarred his skin. How could Mr. Milverton talk like that? He shouldn't let him. Then he realized that it was his hopeless behaviour what fuelled the other man's loss of faith. Ruskin shook his head and took his employer's hand into his own.
"I believe in it." He stated. His tone was filled with determination and power. He knew that he was able to fight again and the reason lay in his embrace. "Because... there can't be another way!"
Mr. Milverton didn't answer immediately. Then a smile appeared at the corner of his lips. It was barely noticeable but it had the one thing Ruskin wished to see. Agreement.
"Well said, Ruskin." He replied quietly. "Well said. Then let's try to believe together." He noted and closed back his eyes. Ruskin continued caressing the beloved face, but he didn't feel the urge to cry anymore.
Mr. Milverton will heal. Because there is indeed no other way.