Chapter Text
Teikoku Gakuen Soccer Club
Narukami: NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I BEEN THIS BETRAYED!
Narukami: EVER!
Oono: I am so sorry!
Narukami: HOW COULD YOU!?
Narukami: OUT OF EVERYONE, WHY YOU?
Jimon: Narukami, calm down
Narukami: Jimon
Narukami: I respect you like an older brother
Narukami: BUT YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON THAT IS ALLOWED TO SAY THAT TO ME!
Narukami: Fucking hypocrite
Henmi: Now what is the bitch bitching about this time?
Sakuma: Like hell would I know, I was talking with Kidou
Genda: Where are you two, anyways?
Sakuma: Watching the Raimon team beat Occult Junior High
Doumen: Good one, Sakuma
Doumen: But really where are you two?
Sakuma: I will not dignify that with an answer
Sakuma: Now what happened?
Jimon: Oono was trying a new hissatsu but the ball ended up hitting Narukami in the face instead
Sakuma: Poor thing
Narukami: I can feel the sarcasm from a distance
Narukami: Just so you know
Sakuma: Just as intended
Banjou: But why would that make Jimon of all people a hypocrite?
Narukami: Have you forgotten our match against Raimon last week?
Banjou: Oh yeah, nevermind
Banjou: You kinda are a hypocrite with that one, @EyebrowlessTarzan
Doumen: What does it have to do with this?
Doumen: No wait
Doumen: I remember now
Doumen: And I couldn't agree more
Henmi: What does it mean?
Sakuma: Doesn’t really ring a bell
Jimon: What does that have to do with this?
Kidou: Why that match specifically?
Narukami: Said the four horsemen of the bone-breaking machine we call a team!
Sakiyama: the audacity!
Henmi: We weren’t that bad
Doumen: One of the Raimon kids is my aunt’s neighbour
Doumen: I went to visit her after the match and she was gossiping with the mother of that kid
Doumen: Their goalkeeper was rushed to the hospital after the four of you went Soccer Mike Tyson for fun on him
Sakuma: …
Jimon: …
Henmi: …
Kidou: …
Kidou: It was all so we could get the information that we needed
Banjou: SO YOU HAD TO BEAT HIM UP LIKE THAT?
Banjou: Highly doubt that
Kidou: Anyways
Kidou: I have an important announcement to make
Genda: Will you finally talk to your sister behind your father and Kageyama’s backs and be an actual present figure in her life?
Sakuma: Will you finally grow a mind of your own and stop doing everything the commander tells you to?
Gojou: Will you finally start seeing a therapist to treat your emotional constipation?
Henmi: Will you stop being an asshole to us?
Kidou: We talked about it, I can’t just do that
Genda: But if you are really sneaky
Kidou: I am not ruining my chances of having my sister back!
Genda: Well, I’ve tried
Narukami: Sometimes you are more efficient when you don’t try at all
Sakiyama: keep saying that to yourself
Sakiyama: see how well you’re doing in english with that attitude
Narukami: 🖕
Oono: Really mature of us, guys
Gojou: And when have we ever been mature about anything?
Oono: Touche
Sakiyama: Kidou, just spill it out already
Kidou: As I was saying to Henmi a couple of days ago
Kidou: Since we needed more intel on the Raimon team and Goenji Shuuya’s abilities, our commander said we were allowed to take more extreme measures to ensure an easier win against them
Kidou: If they ever were to reach us in the preliminaries of the tournament, that is
Kidou: And I have finally come to form a plan
Gojou: Had we just finished our match this wouldn’t be necessary
Genda: I’m going to agree
Genda: We only took one goal and we left
Sakuma: Those rumors are starting to get on my nerves
Genda: Deep breaths, Sakuma
Genda: Deep breaths
Doumen: What would those “extreme measures” even be?
Kidou: We are sending a spy of our own
Banjou: …
Doumen: …
Narukami: …
Oono: …
Jimon: …
Henmi: …
Sakiyama: …
Gojou: …
Genda: …
Genda: What do you mean “of our own”?
Sakiyama: @HidanTheAsshole, do you know anything about this?
Henmi: When I talked to Kidou a while ago, he said we already had a spy there sending us information on their team
Narukami: Excuse me, wtf?
Henmi: That’s what I said
Banjou: Are we really that desperate to win?
Henmi: That’s what I said!
Oono: Our school has a 40 year victory spree, what makes you believe that we NEED to spy on them, Kidou?
Henmi: THAT’S WHAT I SAID!
Henmi: Sort of
Sakiyama: besides the fact that you said we already had a spy on their team
Sakiyama: why would we need another one, Kidou?
Kidou: We can defeat them just fine
Kidou: The second spy it’s merely to assure that they will not ascend to our level and receive the information directly from him
Kidou: After all, Raimon Junior High was once the home to the legendary Inazuma Eleven
Kidou: What are the odds that, with enough training, that team would become the next generation of that legend?
Gojou: With what we witnessed that day
Gojou: I’d say that the odds are pretty low
Banjou: Exactly!
Narukami: That really sounds like a cheap excuse
Narukami: The spying is not necessary
Henmi: I agree, even if it’s Narukami who said it
Narukami: He treats me like this
Narukami: But if I bully him people are mad and I am “being mean”
Banjou: Don’t worry, I think your bullying towards him is valid
Narukami: Thanks ❤️
Banjou: ❤️
Henmi: Fuck you both
Banjou: You love us and you know it
Gojou: And who would we be sending to spy on them?
Kidou: I have already sent the spy to observe them in their match against Occult today alongside Sakuma and I
Doumen: Are they really going against Occult?
Doumen: I thought it was a joke!
Kidou: Before entering the tournament yes
Kidou: I believe it was a condition imposed by their chairman so the team could play at the Football Frontier
Kidou: It was informed by the first spy
Sakiyama: and we know that because?
Kidou: Commander told me
Sakiyama: why am I not surprised?
Sakuma: Maybe because that’s his excuse for everything
Kidou: It is not true
Jimon: Then go talk to your sister
Kidou: No
Genda: Why?
Kidou: …
Kidou: I am not responding to that
Sakuma: See! That is his excuse for everything!
Kidou: It is not!
Henmi: Denial is a river in Egypt
Henmi: Stop using our coach as an excuse!
Domon: …
Domon: I am not reading all that
Doumen: @Iamgroot! The sanest of this group!
Doumen: Where have you been?
Doumen: Haven’t seen you in training at all today!
Jimon: Now that you’ve mentioned it…
Sakiyama: yes! where were you, Domon?
Domon: I was observing that Raimon team at their match against Occult more closely so I could take some notes
Narukami: YOU WHAT!?
Jimon: Sakiyama put the stick down!
Sakiyama: no!
Sakiyama: it’s Kidou hunting season again!
Domon: It seems like I missed something interesting
Sakiyama: @Mother_Pingu, @Orange_Panther, if you want your son to live another day, hide him well!
Sakuma: Kidou is not our son!
Genda: And we are not married!
Sakiyama: yet
Domon: What exactly are we talking about?
Jimon: Preserve your innocence please
Narukami: How is he going to do that when he is spying on our rivals?
Narukami: Like a real smooth criminal!
Hanmi: Why are we coming back with the Michael Jackson references?
Sakuma: SAKIYAMA I SWEAR TO GOD STOP TRYING TO KILL KIDOU!
Sakiyama: HE SENT DOMON TO RAIMON OF ALL PLACES!
Sakiyama: HE WILL BE CORRUPTED BY THEIR STUPIDITY!
Genda: Come on, Sakiyama!
Genda: He will spy on them from the afar
Genda: It’s not like he will actually move to their school!
Domon: Totally not
Jimon: …
Jimon: Kidou, you had him transfer schools, didn’t you?
Kidou: It is necessary to keep a closer eye on them
Kidou: And Domon was home sick during our match so he was the best choice
Genda: …
Genda: Ok you can hurt him a little
Sakuma: Genda
Genda: Or not
Sakiyama: and here I thought you had finally grown a backbone
Sakiyama: shame on you and on your cow plushie
Genda: LEAVE MY PLUSHIES OUT OF THIS!
Gojou: Domon, are you sure you want to attend Raimon for this?
Domon: Well yes
Domon: They are the enemy but they can’t be that bad
Domon: They are mostly morons from what I have seen
Domon: We win against them and I’ll come back
Jimon: If you say so
Jimon: But do be careful, ok?
Narukami: Yeah, gods know what they’ll do to you if they catch you spying
Domon: I’m way too sneaky to get caught
Banjou: 4th grade easter presentation says otherwise
Domon: Could you please not talk to my relatives behind my back?
Domon: That counts for you too Doumen
Doumen: I need the intel on everyone
Banjou: And I need the gossip
Kidou: One day
Kidou: I shall leave this team
Kidou: And never come back
Kidou: Just to avoid dealing with this again
Sakuma: Ok, mister edgy man, now do you want the ice cream or not?
Kidou: Yes please
Genda: You went to get ice cream without me?
Kidou: Domon is bringing you some
Domon: Your favorite, at that
Genda: AZUKI ICE CREAM LETS GOOOOOO!
Sakiyama: what about the rest of us?
Sakuma: Perish
Henmi: I hate it here