Work Text:
It’s 5PM on Christmas Eve and Jared’s plan is to fall asleep listening to knitting podcasts and hopefully keep sleeping until December 26th, when the guys returned to the Incubator and work resumed and the holiday rush settled.
Jared curls up under the blankets in his cot, watching the sunset darken the sky from the small windows lining the panels of the garage door. He shivers, trying to shake the sinking feeling in his chest. He always tries his best to be his usual peppy and optimistic self, but as the temperature drops and daylight hours grow shorter, the weight of the holiday season grows heavier and harder to ignore.
It’s understandable why he feels this way. Years of being lost in the system, rooming amongst distant relatives and foster homes, holidays brought along a harsh longing for a family he never had. Jared worked hard to keep his naturally depressive thoughts at bay and three months out of the year focused on bonding and making memories with people in your life who love you didn’t help. Turkey dinners and caroling only aggravated his abandonment issues. Not to mention the season’s capitalist tendencies are just distasteful.
He’s just gotten comfortable and pressed play when his phone buzzes. He hesitates to answer at first, part of him is just too emotionally exhausted. Moments later when it buzzes again, he reaches for his phone lying next to him, almost against his will. He’s exhausted, but his obsessive compulsion to be constantly available is a trait he picked up working for Gavin Belson and hasn’t been able to shake. Jared presses the home button and his screen lights up to reveal a new text message from Richard Hendricks.
Are you home?
His heart flutters. He has stopped trying to deny that he has romantic feelings towards Richard, but he certainly hasn’t accepted them either. From a business standpoint, it was totally unprofessional, and from a personal standpoint, he valued Richard as a friend too much to risk their relationship. Jared did not want to burden Richard with his feelings, especially now as he struggled with his emotional holiday baggage. But in the moment all Jared wants is a break from the icy numbness that has settled in his stomach and Richard reaching out to him makes electricity shoot through his body. He clumsily unlocks his phone to reply, nearly dropping the device on his face in the process.
In the garage. He watches Richard’s text bubble appear and then disappear. A few moments later, it happens again. Then there’s a knock on the garage door.
“Jared?”, Richard’s voice calls from the other side of the door. “Can I come in?”. Jared pauses before answering, assessing his pale frame clad in only underwear and a white tshirt. He grabs his khakis off the floor.
“One second”, he responds, his voice cracking slightly. As he stands to pull up his pants, he suddenly becomes light headed. The sudden movement makes him very aware of how long it’s been since he’s had any water and that he’s only eaten a handful of saltine crackers in the last 32 hours. He weavers a bit before slowly lowering himself back down to sit on his cot. “Okay”, he calls. Richard opens the door and when their eyes meet, Richard smiles at him. Jared’s heart starts pounding.
“Hey, uh...sorry to just drop by...like this”, Richard says. “But I was just leaving to meet my parents at their hotel and I wanted to...touch base with you before I left”. When Jared meets his eyes again, Richard blushes and drops his gaze to the floor.
“I’m surprised you didn’t go out to see your family for the holidays”, Jared says and immediately wants to smack himself for his out of place comment. Richard looks at him, puzzled, and Jared attempts to recover. “I mean or at least have them over here”.
“Oh I mean. I like my parents, but I moved away from Tulsa for a reason”, Richard shrugs. “And honestly, I think we get along way better when we’re not living with each other. Plus my mom would flip if she saw all of Erlich’s bongs”. Jared’s face breaks into a smile, the first genuine one he’s had all week, and he relaxes a little.
“But anyway, Jared, I just wanted to stop in because I have something for you”. Jared’s heart jumps into his throat and he glances down to see Richard holding a brown paper shopping bag.
“For me?”, he croaks. His chest feels like it’s swelling and he’s thankful he’s sitting, because he’s shaking. Richard walks towards Jared’s cot, closing the distance between them, and holds the bag out to him. Even sitting Jared is tall, he and Richard are practically eye level. Gingerly, Jared takes the bag from Richard’s hands and opens it. There’s a loaf of bread inside along with some oranges and bananas.
“I’ve um. Been noticing you haven’t been eating a lot. I know you’ve sacrificed a lot to work for me and Pied Piper and I know things have been tight...I-I mean you don’t even have a place to live anymore”, Richard mumbles, gesturing at the garage. “I got worried that maybe you didn’t have enough money to buy groceries so...I um--”
“You bought me food?”, Jared interrupts gently.
“I’m sorry it’s not a lot, I hope that’s ok I mean, if you don’t like something I can return it”, Richard says, nervously raking his hand through his hair. “There’s some stuff at the bottom of the bag too”. Jared reaches further into the bag and pulls out a package of rice. A box of decaf tea. A jar of chunky peanut butter.
“You got me chunky peanut butter?”, Jared squeaks, his eyes welling up with tears.
“Yeah I hope that’s ok...I noticed that’s the kind you usually get anyway...unless that’s weird then I don’t do that at all and…”, Richard trails off, wide eyed, unable to read Jared. Jared inhales deeply, holding his tears back.
“Richard, I haven’t received a lot of gifts in my lifetime, but I think this has been the best one yet”. Jared leans forward in an attempt to wrap his arms around Richard, but Richard isn’t expecting the contact and jumps out of his reach. They pause for a moment, staring at each other in confusion, before Richard carefully wraps his arms around Jared’s shoulders.
“Sorry, sorry you just startled me”, he says as he eases into their embrace.
“It’s ok, I’m sorry I just got excited”, Jared says, giggling a bit before interlacing his arms around Richard’s torso and resting his head on Richard’s stomach. “Thank you so much”. Jared hugs him tenderly, pressing his face into his shirt. “Thank you Richard, thank you so much”. He turns to face away from Richard in an attempt to conceal his oncoming tears.
“You’re welcome”, Richard says, his arms still tense around Jared’s body. They stay like this for awhile, embraced in the other’s arms, probably longer than two coworkers should. Jared takes a labored breath, comforted by the smell of Richard’s clean laundry and deodorant. He doesn’t want to let go.
“Um so, do you have any plans for Christmas day?”. Jared pauses before responding to compose himself, wiping the tears from his eyes.
“I was planning on spending the day drinking chamomile tea and using Dinesh’s Netflix account to watch Gilmore Girls, nothing too exciting”, he says, solemnly.
“Oh, alright”, Richard responds. “Did you...uh...need anyone to keep you company...while you do that?”. Jared’s heart stops. “Because you know if you-uh, wanted I could maybe...hang out tomorrow. And watch it with...you. Alone...together”. Richard is stuttering over his words and his face is flushed a bright red.
“I mean...I know maybe we’re not supposed to do that because I’m your boss, but”, Richard chuckles nervously. “I think living together has already crossed that line”. Jared is speechless. Was this...actually happening?
“Uh, Jared?”. His words snap him out of his dreamy trance and he realizes that at some point Richard has taken his hand, which are warm against his under circulated fingers. This was actually happening. This wasn’t another one of Jared’s holiday-induced episodes. This was a real thing actually happening.
“Richard...”, he takes a deep breath, making sure he can get the words out without bursting into tears. “Yes, of course yes”.
“Awesome, ok cool. Um...Netflix and chill I guess haha...wait, wait no that was dumb I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that”, Richard stammers and Jared can’t help but smile. Their eyes meet and Richard smiles against his blushing face.
“I should probably leave”, Richard says as he stares down at Jared. He squeezes his hand. “But I’ll see you tomorrow?”. Jared can only manage a nod. Suddenly, Richard interlaces their fingers and brings Jared’s hand to his lips, kissing it gently.
“Have a good night, Jared”, Richard says before quickly darting out of the room. Jared opens his mouth to say goodbye, but instead he bursts into tears. He’s flooded with emotion, some good and some bad, but he’s never gotten to experience a true Christmas until now. Until Richard.
He lays back in his bed, smiling, letting the tears stream down his face. For the first time in his life, Jared sits alone on Christmas Eve, longing for Christmas day.