Archive of Our Own

Falling in love with Jinsol was different. There weren't fireworks, no spark, no love at first sight. She was simply someone who became her comfort over time, a stranger she vented to who then became a friend that never left her side. Yoona liked that comfortable space between them. They moved fluidly together like a well-oiled machine. Then, one day, Jinsol became something more than a friend.

Over time, Yoona found herself looking for Jinsol in quiet moments, in loud moments, moments where her heart felt there was a space. It didn't matter whether Jinsol was in the next room or not because everything reminded her of Jinsol: a cute little bakery, a jacket, a dog that behaved like her, even seeing her favorite color. At first, she thought it was normal to think of these things, as she did that with her close friends, but then she started to crave Jinsol. It wasn't a sensual craving that needed to be satisfied, but a sort of craving that required her presence near her at all times.

"Hey sleepy head, it's time to get up," Jinsol whispered.

Yoona, stirring in her sleep, mumbled a barely audible, "No."

"If you don't wake up, then we're going to be late for our flight."

"Five more minutes?"

Jinsol nodded and pressed a kiss to her head. "You only get five. If you're not up by the time I come back, you're being tickled awake."

Yoona mumbled something that resembled an agreement before drifting back to sleep. She only meant to close her eyes for five minutes, but then her body jolted awake.

"Bae Jinsol!" She shrieked and tried her best to get away, hands smacking Jinsol.

"I let you sleep for ten minutes. It's time to get up." Jinsol laughed, tickling her with absolutely zero mercy.

"I'm awake already!"

It took about a couple of minutes before Jinsol finally let up on the tickling. While the short-haired woman was having the time of her life, Yoona was not. She carried a sulky expression as she made her way to the bathroom.

"Stupid Sol," Yoona grumbled as she reached for the lone pink toothbrush.

Appearing in the doorway, Jinsol chuckled. "It's not my fault you went to bed so late last night. You knew we had to wake up early for this flight."

With her toothbrush held between her teeth, she lifted one end of her mouth into a snarl and glared at Jinsol through the reflection. She watched as Jinsol held her hands up yet clearly had the grin of a winner. Stupid Sol, she repeated in her head. She rolled her eyes and focused on getting ready.

"Yoona-yah," Jinsol whined as she wrapped her arms around Yoona's waist.

"Don't distract me, Sol," Yoona warned.

"Are you mad?" She inquired, peppering kisses along her shoulder.

Honestly, how could she even be mad at Jinsol?

"No, I'm not mad at you. Now, get out so I can focus on getting ready." Yoona pushed her forehead away, smiling.

After getting ready for the morning, she changed into the clothes that Jinsol laid out for her on the bed. Glancing over at the clock, Yoona nearly jumped at the time. They had a little over an hour to get to the airport and check in.

"Yah, Sol." She rushed out of the bedroom, purse over her shoulder. "Do we have everything?"

"I put everything in the car already," Jinsol confirmed.

Thank god, she thought. If it weren't for Jinsol, then they'd definitely be late for the flight.

Yoona slipped on her shoes and hurried out the door with Jinsol in tow. "Did you bring your passport?"

"I have both our passports." Jinsol hummed.

"I could kiss you right now."

"You can."

"No."

"Why not?"

"We'll be late," Yoona whined, pushing her girlfriend into the car.

"I thought I was driving?" Jinsol piped up, but entered the passenger side regardless.

"With you driving like a grandma?" She raised a brow as she secured her own seatbelt.

"I don't drive like a grandma," Jinsol sulked.

"Last time you drove, five cars went around you because you were so slow."

"In my defense, you almost puked in the car, and it's better to drive safely than like a madman."

"Okay, well, this madman is driving because we have an hour to get through everything at the airport."

"I tried to wake you, but you were so cute. How am I supposed to deny you sleep, Yoona?"

"Just say no to me."

"But then you get grumpy if I don't let you sleep," Jinsol mumbled, huffing.

Yoona sheepishly smiled as she glanced over. She did tend to love sleeping in and was prone to fighting Jinsol in the moment when she didn't get what she wanted. Honestly, though, who could blame a girl for wanting an extra five or, in this case, ten minutes of sleep? Obviously not Jinsol, which is why they were in the position they were currently in.

The drive to the airport was smooth, fast, but ultimately smooth. Well, other than for the fact that Jinsol was clinging onto the side handle for dear life. Yoona, guilty as charged, promised to let her drive the rest of the trip. The rest of the check-in process went without a single hiccup, which reassured not only Yoona but also Jinsol. The two stayed glued hip to hip while they waited to board the plane.

"So," Yoona started, turning abruptly towards Jinsol. "Are you going to explain why Jeju specifically?"

"I remembered that you wanted to go to Jeju," Jinsol answered nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders.

That answer didn't seem to satisfy Yoona, and instead, she slumped into her chair. "You made it sound like it was important."

"It is important. You're important. We're finally going on vacation together." Jinsol reached for her hand, pulling it into her lap. "I know we struggled financially so we couldn't go anywhere, but now that I have the job of my dream, we can go anywhere, starting with Jeju."

Staring at their hands, Yoona smiled. She didn't care where she went with Jinsol as long as it was with her. She understood how big of a deal this was for Jinsol. They used to argue about this topic, and anything to do with gifts really. Yoona was the type that didn't care for the value as long as it was thoughtful. Jinsol, on the other hand, obsessed over it to the point she thought Yoona would leave her. The particular incident she remembered was the very necklace she was wearing.

They had been dating for about two years at that point. It was her birthday, so Jinsol brought her to some fancy restaurant. She didn't care too much for the place, but she was happy to be with Jinsol. A part of her felt bad that they went to such an expensive place. She knew with Jinsol's job that it would be difficult to pay for everything. So, how much did she save? How many meals did she skip? How many opportunities did she take just to afford something like this?

At first, she wasn't going to say anything, but towards the end of the night, Jinsol gave her a gift. She was excited, happy even, to receive a gift. When she opened it, a beautiful silver butterfly with diamonds on the bottom of the upper wings graced her.

"This is so beautiful, Sol," Yoona commented with a smile on her face.

"Do you like it?" Jinsol asked despite walking on eggshells the entire night.

She must've been nervous about giving her this gift. Yoona debated for half a second on whether or not to tell Jinsol how she felt. In the end, she went with honesty.

"I do like it, but Sol, you don't have to gift me anything expensive," Yoona started. "This restaurant is lovely, your gift is lovely, but I'd be happy with anything you give me regardless of the price."

As she looked up, she realized maybe that was not the best option. At first, Jinsol's expression was unreadable, but then it slowly morphed into sadness. So, of course, Yoona couldn't help but feel like she was at fault for voicing her concerns.

"Is it the effort?" Jinsol questioned, mostly talking to herself. "Am I not doing enough for you, Yoona?"

"What? No— no, that's not it."

"Then, what is it? Is it not expensive enough?"

"It's never been about how expensive something is, Sol."

Jinsol's head hung low, but Yoona could tell she was crying by the way her shoulders shook. If there was anything she was grateful for, it was the fact that they had a section of the restaurant to themselves. Scooting her chair back, Yoona stood up and walked over to Jinsol's side of the table. She knelt beside her and laid her head on her lap, getting a good look at her face. She couldn't help but smile at her. Jinsol's heart was very big, so when she cried, she looked like a little kid, and it was endearing.

"Are you going to break up with me?" Jinsol asked softly, trying her best to wipe her tears.

The way she asked it made Yoona's heart ache. She couldn't understand how someone as down-to-earth as Bae Jinsol could possibly think such a thing. The smile on her face softened as she reached a hand out, brushing her thumb along Jinsol's wet cheek. The way she looked at Jinsol was enough to convey how much she loved her, but she still felt it wasn't enough.

"If there is one thing I'm sure of, it's that you're the love of my life, Sol," Yoona spoke softly, staring into her eyes. "I want you to be able to live comfortably even if you gift me something. So, no overtime, no side jobs, no skipping out on meals. I don't need things as long as I'm with you. If you want to gift me something, then gift it from the heart. It doesn't have to be expensive. You could wrap a straw wrapper around my finger, and I'll keep it forever."

She watched as Jinsol hiccuped a few times, trying her best to calm her breathing. She grabbed hold of her hand and squeezed it as the other continued to wipe away tears gently.

"I want to give you nice things because you deserve it." Jinsol finally spoke, though most of it was mumbled to avoid breaking.

"You are what I deserve. I don't need anything more than you in my life." Yoona reassured.

"But—" Jinsol stopped as soon as her breath hitched and took a deep breath, calming herself. "I know I won't be able to give you what your parents can give you. Are you really okay with not being able to live lavishly?"

Her entire demeanor and the way she asked it made her look so small. Yoona couldn't help but pull her down, meeting her the rest of the way in a desperate fashion with lips on lips.

Pulling away, Yoona whispered, "We can live inside a cardboard box for all I care. All I want in life is to be with you, and what that life looks like doesn't matter to me as long as we're both happy."

When she thought back on it, they had come so far.

"What are you thinking about?" Jinsol asked, poking her cheek.

"You." Yoona smiled, but not before trying to bite her finger.

Jinsol laughed and grabbed her hand. "C'mon, they called us to board the plane."

The plane ride was smooth, not that Yoona remembered any of it. According to Jinsol, she snored the whole way. She was jostled awake by the plane landing, and from there they made their way off the plane.

With eyes like a hawk, Yoona caught a familiar detail in the distance. A woman with long wavy black hair oddly resembled someone she went to college with.

"What are you looking at?" Jinsol whispered, leaning down to Yoona's height, scanning their surroundings,

She didn't answer and instead continued forward.

"Kyujin?" Yoona placed a hand on the younger's shoulder. The turn was slow, but she was eventually met with the familiar face of an old college friend. A big smile stretched from one ear to the next upon the confirmation, almost nodding to herself. She watched as the expression on Kyujin's face turned from surprise to excitement, then dropped into something complex.

"Unnie"—she pulled Yoona into a tight hug—"what are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you that, little kitty." Yoona returned the hug with one arm wrapped around her. "I'm on vacation with my partner."

She's not sure why, but she could feel Kyujin's demeanor shift ever so slightly once they pulled from the hug. She caught the nervous shift of glances from her to Jinsol — who was standing behind her during the exchange — then over to an entirely different direction. It almost seemed as if Kyujin had something to say to her but didn't know how to say it.

Sensing the slight discomfort, Jinsol chimed in with her hand out, "Hi, I'm Bae Jinsol. You must be… Jang Kyujin, right? I remember watching your volleyball games back in college. I took some of your pictures for the school newspaper and yearbook. I was a photography major."

Yoona raised a brow as she watched the interaction from the side. Sometimes she wondered who Jinsol knew and didn't, but at this point she shouldn't be surprised.

"Oh?!" Kyujin exclaimed in excitement, reaching forward and eagerly shaking Jinsol's hand. "I remember seeing your name in the credits — you made me look really cool."

Jinsol laughed, "I didn't make you look cool. You are cool."

"Unnie, I didn't know you two became friends." Kyujin turned towards Yoona, letting go of Jinsol's hand.

"We didn't become friends until after I graduated." She hummed in thought, "Maybe about two years after?"

She could see Kyujin doing the calculations in her head, then nodded as if that answer was plausible.

"Oh, by the way—"

"Kyujin-ah, we need to meet up with— oh, Yoona?"

If there ever were a person in this world whom she never thought she'd see again, it would be Oh Haewon. There, in all her glory, stood the person that Yoona once cherished with all her heart. Her expression — to the best of her ability — stayed still, stoic, unreadable, yet her heart moved at a million seconds per minute. She instinctually reached for Jinsol's hand and held onto it, causing her girlfriend to draw circles against her palm.

"Hello," Yoona responded with a bow out of politeness. "I didn't realize you were here together."

"We're celebrating my engagement." Haewon smiled.

Genuine.

It was a simple smile, yet her heart ached as if something were squeezing it. At the same time, she felt strangely at peace knowing Haewon was engaged. It meant she found her happiness.

"This is my fiancé. You remember Lily, right?" Haewon pulled her fiancé into view.

How could she not remember the Lily Morrow? She was a music major who had a beautiful voice. Everyone was smitten with her, Yoona included. She remembered seeing a musical that Lily was in once in college and immediately fell in love, not in love with her, but in love with her passion for music. It was unlike anything she had seen before, and she aspired to have that type of passion.

"Oh my god, long time no see!" Lily exclaimed.

Before Yoona could really figure out what was happening, she felt the emptiness of warmth against her hand, and then watched as Jinsol practically bear-hugged this poor tiny blonde woman. Yet another person on the mysterious, and somehow growing, list of people her girlfriend knew.

"Unnie!" Jinsol practically shook — more like constricting — the blonde in her arms, chin digging into her shoulder.

Yoona couldn't help but smile at the sight, watching as her big puppy of a girlfriend absolutely manhandled Oh Haewon's fiancé. As much as she tried to remind Jinsol of her strength, she couldn't help but express her love and appreciation for others physically. It was endearing, really.

Lily allowed herself to be shaken around and laughed. "How have you been? I heard that you have your own studio now, and have been working with various brands. That's exciting."

"You saw?" Jinsol squealed, pulling away from the hug with eyes that absolutely sparkled. "It took several years, but now I'm making good money, and I'm doing something that I love."

For a moment, in this strange encounter, Yoona had forgotten all about Oh Haewon. Her eyes were fixated on her lover, whose passion she always admired. She remembered how hard it was for Jinsol to quit her bartending job. When it came to trust, Jinsol fully trusted her when she promised to handle the finances, and she eventually let go of everything to focus on her career. It was a stressful couple of years, but the sacrifices she made were worth it if it meant Jinsol was happy. She'd do anything to see those eyes of hers sparkle forever.

"Yoona," Haewon whispered next to her. "You're dating Bae Jinsol?"

Her expression immediately dropped, and her posture stiffened. She never thought this was how she would meet Haewon again. At first, it was something she used to dream about, but after coming to terms with the idea of never seeing Haewon again, she moved on. So, granted her wish of the sudden appearance of Oh Haewon, why did she freeze? Why did she ache? And why couldn't she look at her properly?

Well, she knew exactly why, and she didn't think she'd ever have to confront it.

The truth is that Yoona never stopped thinking about Haewon, and as much as she wanted to forget her, little things would come up here and there. At first, she thought it was because it was learned behavior from being around Haewon so much. The two were practically inseparable when they first met. She often described her love with Haewon as love at first fight, and it was.

About a year after she graduated from college, Haewon showed up to a party one of her friends hosted. She remembered that day simply because of how the older woman interacted with her.

"Hi, you must be Yoona, right?"

When she looked up, a smile instantly spread across her face, and she was met with the sight of a woman shorter than she was. She had fair skin and long red hair. Her eyes were large, round, dark brown, full of secrets, and somehow she felt like she could trust her with anything and everything.

Extending a hand, Yoona introduced herself, "Yes, I'm Seol Yoona, and you might be?"

"Oh Haewon. I graduated a year before you from finance."

"You're older than me. Can I call you unnie then?"

Haewon chuckled, nodding her head. "I would like that."

The first five minutes were spent introducing themselves, but as the night progressed, Yoona felt herself laughing a little too much at Haewon's jokes. She went from standing at an appropriate distance away to bumping shoulders with Haewon. Then, several times throughout the night, she caught Haewon's eyes shift from her own down to her lips and back up. She knew what it was like to be desired, but this made her heart skip a beat.

"Do you want to get some fresh air?" Yoona suggested.

"I'd love to."

That was more than enough for her to lead Haewon out the front door, not bothering to say any goodbyes to the crowd. All she could focus on then and there was Oh Haewon, and she wanted her to herself.

From there, she learned all sorts of things about Haewon. It ranged from simple subjects, like why she chose to be a business major, to more complex ones. In that one night of meeting Haewon, she felt like they'd known each other for years, and she could tell Haewon felt the same.

So, if Haewon was her love at first sight, what exactly broke them apart? Honestly, Yoona, still to this day, is not entirely sure of what the problem in their relationship was. She has theories, but she stopped dwelling on them after she met Jinsol.

When she was confronted with the idea that she was falling in love with Haewon, she took it upon herself to be a better person — a better lover. In the past, she wasn't the greatest at loving someone, but throughout the years she realized how much a lack of communication and trust could destroy a relationship and wanted to be better than that. And she was. With Haewon, she was very open about things. She wasn't afraid to share opinions, how she felt emotionally, or what she wanted in the relationship. A part of her couldn't help but feel like she still lacked something in her relationship with Haewon, though. Maybe she was too passive or maybe she was too intense.

Was she controlling?

They dated for about six months before having complications in their relationship.

"What's wrong, baby?" Yoona asked one day.

"Nothing." Haewon fidgeted with her hands.

Clearly, there was something. Otherwise, they wouldn't be having this issue, now would they?

"Are you sure?" Yoona reiterated.

"Yeah— I don't know…"

"Do you want me to help walk you through it?"

"No! I— I don't know. I just— I—"

And then silence.

For a while now, Yoona could feel the shift in their relationship. This wasn't the first time they had talks like this, where Haewon had trouble opening up about her feelings. She couldn't tell whether Haewon truly couldn't understand her own feelings or was just afraid to trust her with them.

"I told you," Haewon started. "I don't know what's wrong. I need some time to figure it out."

"Okay," Yoona answered softly. "We can revisit this conversation when you're ready then."

Haewon's shoulders were tense. She could barely look at her now. "I need some space. Can we take a break?"

A break?

Right, because taking a break didn't mean they were over. Taking a break was something that all couples had to go through. Taking a break meant needing clarity before deciding hastily, right? Taking a break was good. Yoona had convinced herself of all these things at the time, but she knew if she didn't hold onto Haewon right then and there, she'd lose her. She wanted to believe that Haewon would choose her, choose them, but deep down she knew Haewon wouldn't choose her.

On the verge of tears, Yoona took in a deep breath before answering, "Yeah, we can take a break."

Maybe, just maybe, her relationship with Oh Haewon was a good example of what happens when you overwater a plant. It just took her too long to realize she watered Haewon with too much love, and she was drowning in it.

So, being as patient as she could and hopeful, she waited for Haewon. One week turned into two, and two weeks turned into three. Then came the fourth week with the realization that she had lost Haewon.

"Blocked. Can you believe it?" Yoona tried her best to withhold the pain. "She didn't even contact me the entire time. I was waiting for her, not the other way around. She told me that she needed this break. It's only right that she contacts me first, right? Why did I have to do it, and this is how she treats me? Was I just a distraction so she could get over her someone else?"

"I'm sorry, Yoona," Jinsol responded neutrally as she gently rubbed her back.

With tears streaming down her face, Yoona looked over at Jinsol. "Why are you sorry?"

"Because it sucks that you poured your heart and soul into someone and that person didn't return it. It sucks that she was too scared to tell you that she didn't feel the same, and it sucks that you had to spend an entire month to realize it was over." Jinsol replied honestly, keeping eye contact as she wiped Yoona's tears. "So, I'm sorry to the you who hasn't realized that she deserves better than to cry over someone who was already one foot out the door."

Yoona knew. She knew the breakup was too easy for Haewon. She let her go by giving her permission to close the door on her way. She knew, in her heart, that Oh Haewon could never love her the way she loved her. She knew that deep down they were never compatible. Haewon had too many secrets, and Yoona was one of those secrets. She always felt it was unfair that only a select few could know about their relationship, but she thought maybe with time everything would be okay. It was a dream she had convinced herself to be true, and maybe that's why the comedown of the caramel hit her so hard.

Bringing her back to the reality of the present, Haewon asked, "How did you and Jinsol meet?"

With eyes still trained on her girlfriend, Yoona responded flatly, "After you asked for a break in our relationship, I met Jinsol at the bar, where she served me drinks. She listened to me talk about you for a month straight, and then you blocked me."

The look of shame that washed over Haewon's face was almost comical. Yoona, however, looked at her with pity, not for herself, but for Haewon. She could tell there was something that Haewon wanted to say to her, but couldn't quite figure out if it was appropriate to say.

"Yoona, I'm sorry—"

"I don't accept your apology, nor do I need one."

"Yeah, but I was horrible to you."

"What happened already happened."

"I didn't mean to hurt—"

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you ghosted me for a month." Yoona didn't hold the bite in her tone. "I'm happy that you've found someone who makes you happy. Congratulations on your engagement, Haewon-ssi."

Before Haewon could respond, another person showed up to their little reunion.

"I thought we were leaving. Who are you guys talking to?"

Yoona stood frozen once more at the sudden appearance of yet another familiar person. She still looked the same, dressed the same, and spoke the same.

"We were just about to leave, Jiwoo." Haewon turned, conveniently blocking Jiwoo's view of Yoona.

"Who are your friends?" Jiwoo's tone was friendly, excited even.

"This is Lily unnie's friend, Bae Jinsol." Haewon introduced, gathering the attention of everyone else. "She went to the same university as us."

"We were in charge of the yearbook together." Lily chimed in.

"It's nice to meet you. Are you here for the engagement party?" Jiwoo inquired with a strange sweetness.

Haewon interjected, "She's on vacation with her girlfriend."

"Oh." Jiwoo deflated.

"Yeah!" Lily exclaimed excitedly and pulled Yoona to the front. "Look who we ran into. Who would've thought our school beauty, Seol Yoona, would get together with genius photographer Bae Jinsol?"

The mood shifted entirely the moment Jiwoo laid eyes on her. She could tell there were some lingering feelings left by the way Jiwoo looked at her. It wasn't good.

"Oh, great, the world's most selfish manipulator is here." Jiwoo rolled her eyes, arms crossed over her chest.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"When have I ever done anything like that to you?"

"Do you really want to do this in front of your girlfriend? Actually, I think she deserves to know how you cheated—"

"Kim Jiwoo, that's enough." Haewon stood between them.

"What?" Jiwoo looked away, mumbling, "You agreed with me that she was a monster to you too."

"That's not—"

"Um, guys, maybe we shouldn't have this conversation here," Lily whispered.

Yoona stared in disbelief at both Haewon and Jiwoo. Of course they would be friends, but this? This was too much for her.

"Breathe, Love," Jinsol whispered into her ear, hand gently stroking her upper back.

She hadn't realized how tense she was until Jinsol said something. She took a deep breath and allowed her shoulders to relax into place. When she finally looked up at Jinsol, she saw the subtle smile that rested against her expression and mirrored it.

"Let's go. We're going to be late for the reservation." Haewon instructed, then turned to look at Yoona one last time. "I really am sorry — for everything. We'll try to stay out of your way so you can enjoy your vacation. Thank you for congratulating me."

"Bye, Unnie." Kyujin snuck in a tight hug. "I'll contact you later, okay?"

Something about the way Kyujin looked at her made it seem as though she was trying to avoid all of this. She didn't fault Kyujin with whom she spent time, but felt bad she was often put in an awkward position. She was the only one in their previous friend group who remained empathetic to her. They occasionally kept in contact because Yoona valued their friendship.

She waved a hand after returning the hug, "Enjoy your time, Kitty. I'll see you later."

Off to the side, she could see Lily and Jinsol exchanging goodbyes. They seemed to be having a small conversation, though it was hushed so she couldn't make out any of the words.

Now, all who was left was Jiwoo and Yoona. They stood awkwardly, though far enough apart where the air didn't feel suffocating. Yoona glanced over at Jiwoo only to be caught in the act. It was strange to think that she was someone who had once loved her, who had once admired her, who was her day and night.

"Does she know about us?" Jiwoo asked, nose pointing over to Jinsol.

"I've talked about both of you."

"And what does she think of all this?"

"I don't know. She never said much when I talked about you."

"You lied to her about everything?"

Yoona stared at her for a few seconds, stunned at the question, but ultimately responded. "I was truthful about how everything played out between us."

"Clearly not." Jiwoo retorted, rolling her eyes. "Otherwise, why would she still be with you?"

"I know this has nothing to do with my relationship with Jinsol. If you have something to say to me, then get to the point."

"Jiwoo-yah, let's go." Lily interrupted, hooking her arm around Jiwoo's and dragging her along. "It was nice to see you again, Yoona. I hope you enjoy your vacation, bye now."

"Interesting crowd of friends," Jinsol commented.

Yoona could only sigh at that. Once she felt Jinsol's arm around her, she turned and embraced her.

"I'm sorry all of that happened, Sol," Yoona mumbled into her shoulder.

"What are you apologizing for? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know, but it was a bit— I don't know, embarrassing?"

She tucked a strand of hair behind Yoona's ear. "I should have stepped in and defended you. I'm sorry, Yoona."

She pulled from the hug ever so slightly and gave Jinsol a small smile. "You don't have to stand up for me every time. Thank you for being present."

"I'm just doing my job." Jinsol leaned in to steal a kiss.

"Sol."

"Yes, My Love?"

"Do you think I'm a bad person?"

"No."

Silence followed immediately after, enveloping Yoona, who paused in thought. "Do you really think that?" She managed just above a whisper.

"I think who you were back then was a different person who had a lot of growing up to do. Not everyone is perfect, and you've learned from your mistakes. You're the best person in my life, Yoona." Jinsol pressed her nose against Yoona's neck, nuzzling into her warmth.

That made Yoona smile.

"I think you should meet with her," Jinsol mumbled.

Yoona didn't say anything, not yet. Instead, she played with Jinsol's hands, training her eyes on their joined unity.

"Why?" She asked.

"You're bothered by what she said, aren't you?"

Was she bothered?

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Sol. You saw how she reacted when she saw me." Yoona protested.

Bringing her hand to her lips, Jinsol lingered a kiss against her knuckles. "You may never get another chance like this. Besides, it seemed like you weren't the only one who wanted to talk. I know it'll eat you up inside if you don't try to talk to her, but ultimately, it is your decision, and I will support you through whichever route you decide to take."

She hated the idea of having to chase after Jiwoo, but Jinsol was right. She'd be haunted by all the what-ifs and the things that were left unsaid. It wouldn't be the first time, if she's being honest with herself, that she felt a lot was left unsaid. Maybe she could uncover the lens through which Jiwoo saw their relationship if they spoke.

"Okay, but you have to be there for me when I come back to the house." Yoona proposed.

"That'll be no problem."

"You have to promise."

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

And so, after years of no contact, Yoona reached out to meet up with Jiwoo. She didn't expect Jiwoo to respond, let alone agree to meet up. She hated to admit it, but Jinsol was a good judge of character.

She received a straightforward text from Jiwoo.

Where do you want to meet?

Yoona ended up sending the address of a cute little cafe in return.

I'll see you at noon.

It was short and simple, but nothing she didn't already expect, especially since neither of them had seen each other in a long time. The only thing Yoona could do was show up early. It was mostly nerves that drove her. She managed to order a cup of coffee before taking a seat in a quiet corner of the cafe, and before she knew it, noon rolled around.

Jiwoo was right on time. It was just like her to show up on time — not late, not early. Yoona felt her heart race, not in a romantic sense, but in a way where it hurt to breathe. It felt like at any moment now her heart would burst on impact.

"I only came because Haewon unnie said to." Jiwoo sat across from her, arms crossed. "So, what do you want?"

Straight to the point, that was a great way to start the conversation. Yoona steeled herself a moment before meeting eyes with Jiwoo. She used to imagine what kind of conversation they'd have together if they ever met again, but never imagined it would come to this. If more time had passed them by, would this moment have been any different?

"Why are you so persistent in making my life miserable? Was it not enough that you ruined my relationship with Haewon?" Yoona gripped the hem of her shirt, grounding herself. "What is it? You can't fathom that I really did move on and became a different person without you?"

"You're not any different." Jiwoo snorted. "You're still the same person I knew when we dated."

A Lie. An obvious one, and they both knew that.

"You're controlling." Jiwoo continued.

She knew what this was about and asked, "Are you still friends with them?"

Jiwoo thought for a second before responding, "I know you never liked them, but you knew how important my friends were to me. I was always willing to make it work. You never were. You always had something to say, something to prove."

So, yes and no, she thought to herself, already knowing the answer. She looked down at her cup of coffee before catching a look at Jiwoo. She could see the anger, the hurt, the resentment that stayed with her all these years.

"You knew just as well as I did that your friends were not good people—"

Jiwoo interjected, "So were you! Do you think you're the only person in the world who is perfect, Seol Yoona? Do you know how much pain you put me through? Who are you that you feel comfortable judging other people's character? Clearly, you're the monster."

Monster. It was an ugly word to use, but she knew everything was being said with a heavy energy. Still, how could she possibly ignore something like that?

"We were young, Jiwoo. I was a stupid college kid. I grew up, and I already apologized for the way I treated you, for the things I didn't do, for the things I did do, everything. I know I'm not perfect, and I never claimed to be. I even tried my best to change. You, on the other hand, haven't properly apologized once for the way you treated me. You gave me a half-assed apology when I asked you if you still wanted to be friends. I didn't ask so you could make the decision to be the bad guy. I was giving you a way out because you wouldn't do it yourself." She admitted.

A quiet tension tugged at them, but the silence rested for a moment when she recognized Jiwoo had no input.

"We both suck in this scenario." Yoona continued calmly. "I didn't like your friends because they didn't value you as a person, but neither did you, and so maybe that's why, even to this day, you still blame me for everything. I'm sorry for everything I put you through, but I am not responsible for who you chose at the end of the day."

"What's that supposed to mean? I can choose to be friends with whoever I want to be with." Jiwoo scoffed, trying her best to bite back bitterness.

"All I wanted was to be trusted, Jiwoo. You said you advocated for me whenever your friends had something to say about me, but you never truly chose to be on my side. Any time they hurt you and I had something to say, you'd shrug me off and give them another chance over and over again because they were your friends. That is so disrespectful. At the end of the day — even if you tried to make me believe otherwise — you always sided with your friends. Yes, you probably did support me at the time, but I never felt supported. I felt alone in a space where I didn't know anyone, and I certainly did not belong there."

"What about Haewon unnie? You seemed to cozy up to her without so much as a thought about me."

The mere mention of Haewon tore something open within Yoona that she tried her best to keep locked up. The smile on her face faltered into something bittersweet. Haewon was someone she mentioned to Jinsol many times before they started dating. She was what Yoona described as a love at first sight. Haewon was someone she came to realize she could actually love wholeheartedly in its purest form, and maybe that was why it was so painful when they broke up. A part of her still ached for that love in ways words couldn't describe, in ways even Jinsol couldn't replace, but Jinsol wasn't there to replace anyone. She was there to build new memories together, ones that without a doubt made her choose Jinsol, and she continued to choose her.

"Haewon was different. She was a new person coming into the friend circle, just like me." Yoona responded almost immediately, her voice small.

"Why can't you just admit you never actually loved me?" Jiwoo finally blurted out.

So, is that what all of this was about?

Yoona was shocked, and truthfully, a little hurt. She couldn't understand where this idea that she never loved her came from. After all, despite not being the best girlfriend, she still tried her very best to love Jiwoo in her own way.

"I loved you, Jiwoo. I really did. You don't get to tell me that I didn't love you when I know exactly what I felt for you was real. Why else would I have gotten back together with you so many times?"

"Because I was convenient for you."

"What?"

"You moved on so fast from me to Haewon unnie. I saw it. You were looking for your next fix." Jiwoo added bitterly, emotions seeping to the surface. "And it wasn't just Haewon unnie. There were others too. I know you cheated."

This time Yoona scoffed. She was absolutely baffled by the words that came out of the younger woman's mouth.

"Jiwoo, I waited for you. Every time I asked to talk about us, to talk about whatever hurt we had between each other, you'd brush me off. When I wanted to get back together, you didn't give me an answer, just that you'd think about it. How long was I supposed to wait, Jiwoo? I waited a whole year for you to be ready, so I did what was best for me, and I moved on. How is it my fault that you couldn't communicate your feelings to me properly? I did not cheat on you. During that time, we were never together. You didn't agree to be in a relationship with me."

When Jiwoo didn't say anything, Yoona continued, "Do you want to know what disappointed me the most?"

She had to calm herself because even to this day she felt resentment towards Jiwoo for this.

"You knowingly sabotaged my relationship with Haewon by telling her things you resented me for in our past relationship, painting me in a bad light." Yoona drew in a sharp breath. "Instead of just talking to me, you vented to my then-girlfriend and told her things that weren't true about me. I admit, as I did back then, that I should have treated you better in the beginning, but you are no angel either, Kim Jiwoo." She could barely look at her now. "With Haewon, I told myself I'd do better, that I'd be better, and I was. I didn't think I could love someone so deeply until I met her, but of course, like some cruel joke, she ended up leaving me. Instead of her trusting me, she chose to trust someone she barely even knew. Don't get me wrong, I understood fully well that Haewon had some baggage coming into my relationship with her, but you'll never understand how much it truly destroyed me. She never broke up with me, Jiwoo. I bet she never told you. I never heard from her. Never. I waited several months for her like a fool. I really thought if I waited patiently, if I— if I gave her the space she needed, then she'd return. She never contacted me, so after a month I reached out to her, and you know what I got in return for being patient? I got blocked without a single explanation."

Yoona felt ridiculous reciting her painful past to a woman who had just tried to sabotage her relationship with Jinsol by lying that she cheated. "Can you imagine what it's like to give someone your heart out of purest intentions only for them to take it and never return?" Her words strained at the end, wavering slightly. "The only evidence that I had to reassure me I didn't hallucinate her was our photos together, and the gifts she gave me."

"Do you even hear yourself right now?" Jiwoo finally chimed in. "How can you be dating someone when you're still in love with Haewon unnie? Isn't that emotional cheating?"

Yoona chuckled. No, she laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of the conversation.

"You're right, I do love Haewon, as I do you. I will always love you both because love doesn't go away. My love for you hasn't changed. Love is constant, but people aren't, and I— just grew out of that love for you. Jinsol, on the other hand? She has touched my soul in ways that if she were to leave one day, she'd be leaving me a shell of myself. I don't think I'll be able to recover if she leaves." Yoona then added, "But here's where you're wrong, Jiwoo. I don't fantasize about either of you, even when I think about the past. Sure, I've talked fondly of my relationship with you and my relationship with Haewon, but just because I talk about a time where I used to love you doesn't mean I fantasize about getting back together. That point in my life is important because I learned who I didn't want to be and grew from it."

"You're wrong. You never loved me. You never loved Haewon unnie, and you certainly don't love your girlfriend. How can you make love out to be something so— pure when you're the furthest thing from it?" Jiwoo balled her hands into fists, irritated. "Fine, whatever, so you didn't emotionally cheat, but you basically are by admitting you still love me. How can anyone be okay with that?"

"Even broken people are allowed to love, Jiwoo. I loved you so much that I let you claw at my heart over and over again. You were my first girlfriend, my first kiss, my first hurt, my first everything. What made you think otherwise?" She responded without skipping a beat. "I'm not going to argue with you on this, Jiwoo, but accusing me of cheating is a serious accusation. I hope that's something you can live with."

"Because if you actually loved me, you'd take accountability, you'd let me figure things out, you'd stay even if things were hard and messy." Jiwoo's voice wavered, and in that moment tears finally welled up in her eyes. "I wish you never loved me."

The way she said it was small, as if it were a mistake the moment it left her lips. Yoona's expression softened at those words, releasing the tension that built up in her jaw.

"I blamed myself every time something went wrong, but you? You could never be wrong, and then, one day you became a different person, someone without me. It was hard to believe, and it still is, that the old you was nowhere to be seen. That the you who I resent got to run away without resolving anything." Jiwoo's voice stayed small, calmer than it had been a few seconds ago. "I hate you for not waiting."

Hate.

It was a strong word to use, but she wanted to believe Jiwoo didn't mean it. She just didn't have another word to describe the feeling, right? Yoona thought it was something akin to betrayal. She knew exactly what that felt like.

"But I did take responsibility for things. Your friends, however? Was I not supposed to defend myself? There is only so much disrespect I can take, Jiwoo. You let me bend and break. What hurt the most was that I was alone at the end of it all." She met Jiwoo's eyes with honesty in hers. "I resented you. Instead of standing up for what you believed in, you took the easy way out. You want to talk about convenience? You chose the comfort of toxicity in friendships with people who don't really care about you, and you know that. You were scared of letting new people in because you believed everyone would eventually leave. You don't ever give them a blank slate, and that is unfair, Jiwoo."

"Just look at us, Yoona—"

"Stop it."

"You are exactly why I am justified."

"That is not my fault, Jiwoo, and you know that. People come and go all the time. What are you going to do when they eventually leave? Are you going to mope around by yourself for the rest of your life?"

"Maybe."

"I'm disappointed then." Yoona stood from her seat, rummaging through her bag for something. "It's been five years, and you still haven't changed."

Jiwoo scoffed, "Wow, you of all people? I never imagined you to be insensitive enough to put a timeline on someone's struggles."

Palm on the table, Yoona leaned down just enough to look Jiwoo in the eyes. "As someone who once cared about you, I say it out of the goodness of my heart. If that's how you want to look at it, then go ahead."

A thin silver ring appeared once Yoona retracted her hand from the table. She stared at the younger for a few more seconds, as if trying to find something familiar in those eyes, only to be disappointed with the reality of someone she outgrew.

"I was in love with you," Yoona started, furrowing her brows. "I genuinely thought we were going to get married, grow old together, and live in a tiny home like we always talked about. I guess not everything can be like a fairytale… I really do hope you find someone who'll be good to you, and I hope by then you've changed for the better." She turned on her heel, walking away without so much as a glance back. "Let's not meet anymore. Goodbye, Jiwoo."

"Yoona," Jiwoo called out.

The sound of a chair scraping harshly against the floor echoed throughout the cafe. It caused a few heads nearby to look over, wondering what the commotion was.

"Wait!" Jiwoo pleaded in desperation.

Yoona didn't wait, and Jiwoo didn't chase her.

The drive back to the Airbnb left Yoona wondering if she did the right thing. While she felt a weight was lifted off her shoulders, a part of her couldn't help but ache. Maybe it was because a part of her always hoped that Jiwoo moved on, that she found her people, someone to call home, and that she felt responsible for how Jiwoo felt. Whatever that was, well, it was unexpected. Who would have thought Jiwoo would carry her resentment towards her all these years? She couldn't help but feel she was responsible for the way Jiwoo turned out, even if she knew it wasn't her fault.

The door latch barely clicked before a pair of arms pulled Yoona into a warm embrace. She didn't resist the hug, and instead sank further into that warmth. The heavy weight she carried was nowhere to be seen, and without her realizing it, she could finally breathe.

Jinsol nuzzled against her cheek. A smile tugged at the ends of Yoona's lips. Then, without skipping a beat, she was peppered— attacked with kisses.

"Stop, Sol." She whined, though did not attempt to escape.

"I don't want to." Jinsol refused. She smiled against Yoona's cheek, pressing a few more kisses along her jaw to satisfy herself. "You look so pretty today."

Yoona rolled her eyes, smile still intact. "Just today?"

When Jinsol didn't respond, she turned her head to look at her. She could see her girlfriend's lips pursed, eyes wide with mischief as she averted her gaze. Yoona tilted her head, feigning hurt.

"No?" Jinsol leaned in close, chasing her lips.

Yoona plopped a hand on her girlfriend's mouth, pretending to be disgusted with her. However, a clear laugh was enough to encourage Jinsol to rein her in tight. Pushing past Yoona's hand, Jinsol rubbed her face against her shoulder and then into the crook of her neck.

"My Yoona looks so pretty every single day. Don't you know she's a princess?" At this point, Jinsol was clearly kissing up to her.

Yoona reacted in playful disgust, expression playing up a practiced, horrified look.

"Yoona-yah," Jinsol cooed, pout forming when she didn't get the response she wanted.

Yoona shuffled around in Jinsol's embrace, facing her. She could see a deep frown on her girlfriend's face, paired with big, sad puppy-dog eyes. It was clearly an act to get her to give in, and it was working. She laughed at her before stealing a kiss. The kiss was more than enough to satisfy Jinsol, causing her to let out happy little chirps.

"I waited for you like you asked." Jinsol stood tall and proud, chest puffed.

If she had a tail, she'd be proudly wagging it, and sometimes Yoona couldn't help but wonder if her girlfriend really was a dog. "Such a good puppy, aren't you?" Yoona teased, bringing a hand up to ruffle Jinsol's hair, eliciting a whine.

"If I'm Yoona's puppy, then that is all that matters."

"You're being so weird today, Sol."

"I'm not being weird!" She defended. "I am a loving girlfriend, like I am any day of the week."

The pout displayed on Jinsol's face made Yoona lean her forehead against hers. She laughed, "Yeah? I believe you."

"You don't sound like you do." Jinsol nipped at her earlobe.

"Yah!" Yoona jerked away with a cute little whine, smacking Jinsol's shoulder. "Stop playing around."

With a sheepish smile, Jinsol chuckled and rubbed the spot on her shoulder that took damage. At this point, it had become routine for her shoulders and arms to be Yoona's personal punching bag. She didn't mind it one bit. However, she still made sure to guilt Yoona into thinking it hurt way more than it did.

"Ouch." She pouted dramatically, still rubbing the same spot.

"I didn't hit you that hard, Sol."

"But it really hurts, Yoona."

"Don't bite me next time."

"Can you kiss it?"

"No."

"Please, pretty please? Please, please please, please, Yoona? I'll be good. I promise!" Jinsol shamelessly begged.

Honestly? She looked absolutely ridiculous. Not because she was begging, but because she had nuzzled her head into Yoona's chest, right where her heart was. What finally made her laugh was the swaying of Bae Jinsol's hips, which wiggled freely and comically in the air.

"Stay still, stupid," Yoona responded endearingly.

Knowing she had just won, Jinsol stood up straight to collect her reward, a satisfied grin wide on her face. Yoona playfully rolled her eyes, leaning forward to press her lips to the spot that supposedly hurt so bad.

"Thank you." Jinsol pulled her into a tight hug, resting her chin on top of Yoona's head. "How did your talk with Jiwoo go?"

Not that she dreaded the idea, but she didn't think Jinsol would ask about it. Nuzzling into her chest, Yoona took in Jinsol's natural scent, allowing it to soothe her. She stayed quiet for a couple of seconds as she contemplated where to start.

Instead of answering the question, Yoona asked, "Jinsol, do you believe that I'm a cheater?"

Not Sol, not love, just Jinsol.

When Jinsol hummed, she felt her voice rumble throughout her chest, further lulling her into a sense of security. She knew what kind of answer her girlfriend would give, yet she still asked. Jinsol trusted her too much, and sometimes that worried her. Jinsol was the type to keep things to herself, even if they bothered her, but Yoona was the opposite. Any time she felt wronged, discomfort, upset, whatever it may be, she always voiced her opinion, her hurt. And Jinsol? She listened. She always did. So, it didn't come as a surprise to Yoona when Jinsol answered, "You're not capable of cheating. You're too honest."

"You don't believe Jiwoo?"

"Why would I believe a stranger?"

"What if she was telling the truth? You still wouldn't believe her?"

"Well, did you cheat?"

She knew that Jinsol asked for the sake of asking. A part of her was happy that Jinsol trusted her this much, to the point that it was unthinkable, but the other part of her felt like Jinsol was too good for her. Her heart really was pure, one of a kind.

She mumbled into her chest, "Never. I think cheating is unforgivable."

"What's the problem then?" Jinsol rubbed her back.

"I didn't know she resented me that much. I know that we didn't exactly leave on the right footing, but I didn't think she'd blame me for everything. Not once did she apologize to me. Until the end of it all, she held onto her pride." Yoona squeezed herself deeper into the crevices of the embrace. Maybe that's what hurt — to see Jiwoo not let go of her pride despite desperately wanting to hold onto the thin thread that tethered them. It was clear as day how much hurt Jiwoo was holding onto, and for a moment, she recognized just how much Jiwoo loved her before the string was cut.

"You're not responsible for the way things ended, nor are you responsible for other people's actions," Jinsol responded, bringing her back to reality.

"I know, but I can't help but feel like I could have helped her."

"You can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped. If she wants it, then she'll find a way to heal. For now, you have to focus on yourself." Jinsol pulled from the hug, tucking a strand of hair behind Yoona's ear. "Do you want to go on a walk?"

"Sure." She nodded.

After leaving the house, the two lovers walked side by side with their hands intertwined. The house was in a nice area that felt secluded. It had access to the beach, so Jinsol took her in that direction. The smell of salt that wafted from the beach felt oddly comforting, and the light breeze was calming. She couldn't help but feel that wherever Jinsol was home was.

Yoona always loved visiting Jeju, but during her high school years, her parents became too busy, so their trips to Jeju gradually shortened until they became nothing. It was one of her favorite memories because then her parents were her parents, and not people trying to run a company. So, when Jinsol asked her where she'd like to go — anywhere in the world — she answered Jeju with confidence. It was sentimental, and she was happy that Jinsol remembered.

"Now that we're here"—she stepped into Jinsol's view—"why did you bring me to Jeju?"

Jinsol wasn't good at keeping secrets, and she knew that. She watched as her lover turned her head, avoiding eye contact. A mischievous smile spread across her face. She knew that Jinsol would eventually give way, but wanted to play this game with her a little longer, so she let go of her hand.

Tossing her shoes towards Jinsol, Yoona ran towards the shoreline and yelled, "Last one in the water is a sore loser!"

Laughing, she glanced over her shoulder to see Jinsol a few steps behind. Neither of them by any means was particularly athletic, but Jinsol was still the more athletic of the two, causing Yoona to make a leap of faith forward. Her feet landed with success into the water.

"I win," she sang, turning around, half expecting Jinsol to follow her into the water.

Jinsol, however, stood on the very edge of the shoreline. It was unlike her not to want to get into the water. Yoona raised a brow before coaxing Jinsol into the water, but she just shook her head at her.

"Come on, Sol. Why would you bring me to the beach if you weren't going to dip your feet in?" Yoona continued to persuade her.

"I don't want to get wet." Jinsol shook her head.

"I won't splash you, come here." Yoona held her hand out with an innocent look on her face.

And this is where Jinsol's mistake came in. The moment her hand reached over for Yoona's, she was pulled forward. "Wait— Yoona!"

Splash.

Yoona fully expected herself to take on the consequences of the fall, but something cushioned it. When she opened her eyes, she was met with Jinsol underneath her, hair wet, clothes drenched. With hands on Jinsol's shoulders, Yoona propped herself up.

"Why did you catch me?" She laughed, leaning her forehead against Jinsol's. "Now you're all wet too."

"I wasn't," Jinsol admitted, laughing. "You pulled me with your gorilla strength."

Yoona smacked her shoulder. "So you wouldn't catch me if I was falling?"

"Normally, I would catch you."

"What makes it different this time?"

"The water?"

"A little water never harmed anyone, Bae Jinsol. Are you scared of getting your clothes wet?"

Laughing, Jinsol shook her head. "I'm currently drenched, so no. I was trying to avoid getting something wet."

"And what would that be?" Yoona raised a brow, curious.

With her hand on the small of Yoona's back, Jinsol carefully sat up and fished for something in her pocket. In the heat of the moment, Yoona failed to notice there was an object in her pocket. She watched as Jinsol pulled out a white box, then opened it to present a ring with a straw wrapper tied into a bow looped around it. At first it didn't click for Yoona, but then Jinsol gently moved her off her lap and knelt in front of her on one knee.

Jinsol took in a deep breath, and with a sincere glint in her eyes, her voice wavered as she called out to her, "Seol Yoona."

With wide eyes, Yoona couldn't help but stare at her in silence. It was a pleasant surprise in her opinion. The two of them had talked about getting married one day, but she never expected Jinsol to propose — at least not for another couple of years. In her mind, while Jinsol loved her a lot, she never got the impression that Jinsol was dying to get married. Yoona was the opposite. She talked about the future a lot because she saw one with her. Jinsol was not only someone she wanted to grow old with but also someone she wanted to give her heart and soul to. To her, Jinsol was her other half that had been missing, and she finally found her.

"Honestly, I've been thinking about what to say for a while now, and every time I tried to say something, the words kept getting stuck. At first, I was unsure of what to really say, but the more I looked at you, really looked at you, the more I was sure that you're the one I want to be with for the rest of my life." Jinsol continued. "The first time I met you was back in our senior year of high school. I transferred in my last year, but I don't think you remember. I was in the photography club back then and took a lot of candids. I remember not being confident in my work, but one day I got caught taking candids of you and another student. I remember thinking you were so beautiful, and to my surprise, your heart matched a type of kindness I craved for the rest of my life. All you did was compliment my photos, but it kept me going."

At the mention of the specific scenario, it did jog some old memories, but nothing that was too clear. In fact, Yoona hadn't realized that was Jinsol until this very moment. Back then, she had long black hair, and her features were much softer.

"Before I knew it, I developed a crush on you, but I was afraid of talking to you because my family was poor," Jinsol admitted with a bittersweet smile on her face. "It didn't help that you had people trailing you at all times in high school. So, I convinced myself I was okay with watching you from afar. When we graduated, you drew a butterfly on my yearbook, do you remember? You told me that you hoped we'd grow into butterflies one day and achieve our dreams. I still have that yearbook."

The specific details were coming back to Yoona, and a part of her felt sentimental about it despite not remembering it until now.

"When we graduated, I was fully expecting to never see you again, but then I saw you on my first day. I was in the same general calculus class as you. You were late on the first day and asked me for a pencil. I was too shy to tell you at the time, but your fly was open." Jinsol chuckled thinking about it. "I didn't share any other classes with you after that one, though. I mostly ran into you when my yearbook club activities overlapped with your student council activities. I didn't talk with you very much, just things about school, but I did want to be your friend."

"Why didn't you?" Yoona asked. While listening to all of this, she mostly remembered the things about college. The Jinsol from college is what she remembered, but freshman year was still a blur.

Jinsol averted her gaze. "I didn't think you'd want to be friends, so I didn't talk to you."

"Sol…"

"I know, I know. I was so pathetically infatuated with you that I kept my distance, and besides, by the time we reached our sophomore year, you were dating someone." She pointed out.

Ah, right, that was when she was dating Kim Jiwoo. She practically followed her everywhere, so she understood why Jinsol never reached out to talk to her.

"I always believed that if you were happy with someone, then we weren't meant to be together, but if you somehow found your way to me, then maybe it was destiny. So, as you can imagine, I was surprised to see you at the bar all those years ago." Jinsol nervously chewed on her bottom lip, as if unsure if she should share this next piece of information. "At first, when you started rambling on about your relationship with Haewon, I just listened with zero intentions of being your friend, but then you kept coming in and asking me questions about myself. I didn't think my crush for you would stir, but it did, and eventually I couldn't wait to see you. I didn't want to profit off of your broken relationship, but I really did want to be your friend. After Haewon blocked you, when you got too drunk… do you remember what you said to me?"

Yoona shook her head, not remembering any details of that night. She didn't even remember puking all over herself to the point of Jinsol having to change her out of her filthy clothes. Waking up the next morning gave her a scare but also created a strangely wholesome memory for them both.

This time, looking her in the eyes, Jinsol responded, "You asked me why I liked you."

She figured it out at some point while interacting with Jinsol. She wasn't dense, but she found it inappropriate to talk about because she was a patron of the bar and Jinsol was serving her alcohol. Not only that, but the fact that she and Haewon hadn't broken up at that point in time. It wouldn't have felt like she was honoring her relationship with Haewon by confronting someone about their feelings during their break.

"At first, I didn't know what to say because I didn't know much about you. When we were in high school, I liked you because you were nice to me and you encouraged me to follow my dreams. In college, I ended up finding more things I liked about you. I liked the way you smiled when you saw a photo of a dog. I liked that you didn't care how others perceived you. I liked the little bounce in your step when you thought about food. I liked the way you laughed when you found something funny even when others didn't. Then, when I met you at the bar, well, it was complicated, but I liked more things about you. I mostly liked that despite everything that was happening to you, you never changed who you were for love. You truly believed that love would come back to you, would find you, and your love was genuine. It stayed genuine even to the end." Jinsol, at this point, felt she was rambling, and lifted the box a little higher this time. "I know this whole thing might not be the ideal situation. I know we're not perfect people, and we may not live perfect lives, but as someone who wants to be your other half, who believes you to be my soulmate, will you continue to make memories, grow old, and marry me?"

She could tell throughout all of this that Jinsol was trying her hardest to keep her emotions in check. Jinsol wasn't really one to cry that often, at least not for herself, but the moment Yoona let a tear slip, the floodgates opened. All this time while she was searching for someone to love, that person had been by her side all these years. It must have been lonely for Jinsol, painful even, to watch her love others before her.

Hic.

Hic.

The expression on Yoona's face softened dramatically at the sight of Jinsol crying. Out of sheer habit or rather endearment, she chuckled at the expression her lover was making. Jinsol was quite the empath, often crying because she had been crying, but she could tell this scenario was different. These were her own feelings. This was Jinsol baring her heart out in front of Yoona, and that is what made Yoona's heart cry for her.

Instead of answering, Yoona lunged forward to embrace her, causing Jinsol to fall backwards again. Only this time, the white box fell out of her hand.

"Is that a yes?" Jinsol asked between hiccups, tears still streaming down her face.

"Yes, a thousand times and more." Yoona peppered her face with kisses.

"Yoona," Jinsol whined, though she enjoyed being pampered.

When it didn't seem like she would let up any time soon, Jinsol pinched her cheek, causing her to frown. It was funny because Jinsol still had a deep frown on her own.

"That hurts, Sol." She pouted.

"You can kiss me all you want after, but we need to find your ring before you end up with a straw wrapper," Jinsol informed, gesturing towards the water.

Oh.

"Oops." Yoona chuckled nervously.

It didn't take them long to find the ring, and thank god because Yoona was nervous about the idea of getting the ring replaced. She'd feel guilty for life if she had to make Jinsol buy another one. But, then again, the idea of a straw wrapper as a ring wasn't that bad of an idea.