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TW: haiji no hygiene and whatever tf is gonna go on… youve been warned
Haiji walks through jabberwock park, admiring the beautiful flowers that reminds him of idk fucking shirokuma idk. Then he spots a… very huge green haired gentleman with no shoes on, sniffing bugs. ??
Who is this bunk a hunk?! And he looks young too… perfect. HAiji no hygiene thinks to himself, as he watches the… overall strange man. Haiji approaches the mysterious looking student, curious as to what he's doing.
“Hello there, can I ask what exactly are you doing?” Haiji asks a little more irritated than curious.
“Oh! Hello! Gonta is examining bugs! Gonta love bug, bug are gonta friends!” gonta exclaimed with enthusiasm.
“Well… im guessing your name is gonta then…” Haiji says. Haiji looks at him a little skeptical… no shoes, on all fours in the middle of the park, staring at ants on the floor…
“Dont tell me your with those future foundation fuckers, if you are i demand you to leave!”
Gonta looks up at the other man, confused. “Gonta do not know who future foundation is… if it is bug then i love bug! Bug is my friend.”
“Theyre bugs alright” haiji mutters under his breath. Haiji sighs at the sight of this moron. What exactly does he think he's doing..? Hes probably got a few ants up his nose at this point… sticking his face into an ant hill… its stupid but… rather intriguing the ADULT man thinks to himself.
“Whatever.. im getting the fuck outta here” haiji starts moving but TRIPS ON A ROCK! Landing Right on top of gonta!! 😳
“Woah! Gonta so sorry!!” gonta stands up, helping haiji up with him. “Did gonta hurt you?”
“No… im fine…” Haiji looks away, feeling his face warm up. He crosses his arms like a little tsundere and turns his head away. Gonta spots 👀 a faint blush on haijis cheeks (buttcheeks)
HIs muscular frame… hes… taller than me too… and, hes nice- what am i THINKING?! Get it together haiji! Just because he broke your fall and… helped you up… and his voice- NO!
“Hey… gonta never asked for name. Do you have name, or should I call you broken arm” gonta s-speaks 🥺
Did my own narrator just stutter? What is going on…
“Oh- a name? You can call me haiji… haiji towa. If your interested i can tell you about the towa cooperation. Only if your interested... and- well- its not like I want to or anything!~ its only if you want it…😳” haiji can tell gonta isnt rlly catching on (prolly cus hes stupid af 😂✌️) but its okay”
“Gonta no understand… but if it make gonta true gentleman, come to my den and we talk about bug and towa incorp-errate!🥰”
Wow… hes so cute… “u-uhm… s-sure! We can go to your… den?” a DEN?! What was he raised by… reptile people?!
For the next 11037 seconds, gonta and haiji Walk though the THICK forest to gontas den. Haiji hates to admit that's hes excited to hang out with this barefooted (thats the only thing Haiji can think of right now to be honest…) gentleman…
The den finally came into view, and as they went inside, haiji could hear the slap of gonta’s feet against the stone floor. (that turned him on more than it should)
“This where gonta sleep!” Gonta points to the ground, wheres there's only a dead spider in the middle of the floor. Haiji doesn't know how to react, but his eyes just can NOT leave gontas feet 😍
“Gonta get haiji food if haiji want?” gonta asks politely like a gentleman
“Uhm… sure, yes please.” haiji didnt really think before saying that… he was just focused on the individual toes, walking towards the entrance of the cave.
“Gonta be right back, Haiji” gonta leaves bye. Oh my god 2 hours and 13 minutes later Gonta comes back with a bowl of mysterious brownish red berries that are most likely poisonous but let's not ask… eventually they both have dinner and chat about bugs and haijis cooperation. Hours that they aren't aware of pass, and eventually its 11pm before they know it.
Haiji yawns, “well gonta, i am very tired. I should probably get some sleep.”
Suddenly gonta grabs Haijis wrist before he stands up, his eyes locking into hahaiis
“no, don't go haiji… gonta not tired yet… Gonta.. Gonta keep you up all night” gonta seductively whispers into his ear, his breath sooo hot against haijis neck (neck kinda hurts) 🤤🤤
Haiji blushes… he shouldnt feel this way… but he gives in. with a nod, gonta pushes a stone to close the cave entrance. And with that… the two were left alone, plunged into darkness, haiji awaiting for what gonta will do to him. (that we will not specify because its like… illegal or something)
Days pass And rumors spread like wildfire. But one specific one from kazuichi, that night haiji and gonta disappeared, he walked by gontas den and overheard some things… kazuichi names one, saying he heard gonta scream
“Oh haiji you fill Gonta with so much hopee~~🤤🤤”
And no one talked to either of them again. And kazuichi is indeed traumatized because wtf wtf was that. And the fact that this always happens to him specifically for SOME REASON
THE END