Work Text:
“Time of death, 12:25pm”
Noelle was only sixteen years old when her father died. It was a Monday morning, in the fall. Outside was orange and brown and golden. Inside the room was sterile, snow-white.
Hometowns hospital was small, its doctors rusty from disuse, only so many medical catastrophes could happen in a small town. Her father had fallen down the evening before, at the festival. Bunting and posters still hung outside the town as Noelle stepped out, wrapped ‘round telephone poles and trees.
The late Rudy Holidays youngest, no, only, daughter sat on the front step outside the hospital. Her blonde hair whipped back and forth in the wind.
It was a Monday morning, she should be in school, she had a presentation coming up. Noelle knew all this to be true, but she made no advance towards the school. Instead, she brought her knees up to her chest and buried her face in her hands, tears soaking deep into her fur.
Noelle wanted to disappear, she wanted to run away and never come back. Just yesterday everything had been so perfect, just yesterday Susie had been holding her, laughing, staring out over the lake. Just yesterday Noelle had looked back at her like she would save her.
What a foolish girl Noelle had been 24 hours ago.
The hospital door open, Noelle shifted out the way slightly to let whoever was behind her out. Someone sat beside her on the step, Noelle didn’t look up. The figure smelled of antiseptic and blood.
“Miss Holiday, I’m so sorry for your loss.” The figure said, one of the nurses, Noelle could tell by her voice, one whose name she knew by heart, but she didn’t have the energy to dig the memory out.
“He was such a good man, I’m so very sorry, we did all we could.”
Beep, beep, beep, then a flatline. Clammering hands, frantic cries, wheezing breaths…..the smell of dust.
“Your mother, Mayor Carol, she picked up the phone.” The nurse continued. “She says..she has to finish the work day. That the spare key is by your gate. That she’ll be home once she’s come to the hospital to sign the death certificate and…and collected his ashes.”
Noelle sniffed, wiping her face with her sleeves. She nodded in acknowledgment. Her mother wasn’t even going to come see her. Wasn’t going to ask after her. Noelle stood up, brushed off her skirt.
“Thank you.” She mumbled to the nurse. “Thank you, I’m sorry.”
“Do you need me to walk you home, Miss Holiday?” The nurse asked, a hand on Noelle’s shoulder. “This is a horrible thing to go through, especially all alone. You can come back in, phone a family friend to keep you safe.”
Noelle shook her head, forcing her eyes - glistening wet with tears - to focus in on the kind monster. She tried a shaky smile. “Don’t worry. I’m just going to go home, gather his favourite things for the ceremony.”
Through her blurred, wobbly vision, she saw the monster frown, before eventually stepping back with a nod.
She smiled sadly, “okay Miss Holiday, as you wish. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Noelle breathed into the wind, nodding one more time, more for herself than anyone else, and stepped into the road, away from the hospital. At least the wind wiped away her tears, there was no one left who would do it for her.
No one except, Susie. But Susie, oh Susie, Noelle couldn’t burden her with this. Noelle couldn’t push this pain onto her, how selfish that would be.
When she reached her gate, Noelle could hardly slip the key into the lock. She felt so tired. Her fingers slipped against the metal and when the key turned, she shoved the gate hard with her shoulder, forgoing any normal grace and poise.
Her driveway was empty, the only sounds the rustle of leaves and Noelle’s own hooves clip-clopping on the tarmac. The front door swung closed behind her.
Noelle stood in her house, her empty, white House. Snow-white, sterile. Like the hospital room. Like the bandages, the whites of her fathers eyes when they’d rolled back in his head. Noelle covered her ears and squeezed her eyes shut.
Stop thinking. She growled to herself. Stop it stop it stop it.
She collapsed to the floor, hyperventilating. Her hands squeezed tight around her skull, the pressure making her skull feel as though it would burst.
Noelle screamed, eyes overflowing with tears dripping onto the ground, into her clothes and fur. Her throat hoarse and raw, Noelle screamed again and again and again.
Nothing could ever go well for her. No one could ever stay. Nothing could ever stand to be around her for too long.
She screamed again, doubled over, hands pulling at her hair, lungs screaming almost as loud as her throat.
A sob escaped Noelle’s mouth, interrupting her screaming, she gasped for breath, curled up into a fetal position on the marble floor. It felt like she was laying on a frozen lake, spreading all around her, isolated, no one could reach her.
No one could find her, and no one would come to save her. Not Dess, not her dad, not her mom, not even Kris.
Noelle stayed on that floor a long time, until her thoughts started to drift away with her tears, until her throat bled from crying, until she never wanted to move again.
____
It had been a weird couple days for Susie. A blur of fighting and friendship and the first genuine warmth she’d felt since she was a child. Funny, she felt the warmest when in the darkness.
Susie woke up in her bed in castle town, safe and warm. Yesterday had been a lot. Bad, Asgore was missing, Flowery was gone, the knight was an ever-growing threat. But good too, good because of Noelle.
Noelle. Susie was struggling to think of anything else. Her thoughts were filled of blonde hair, brown eyes shining in the sunset, the way she’d laughed, her heartbeat drumming against Susie’s own.
As the dinosaur girl stood up and stepped into her black-and-gold boots, she hummed to herself. Susie checked herself in the mirror, smoothing her hair down - or attempting to - with a furrowed brow.
Castle town was bustling as always. Darkners milled around, complaining or eating donuts, admiring the new banners Susie, Ralsei and Lancer had set up last night.
Speaking of, where were those two? Susie poked her head into all the nearby shops, but there was no sign of the two. She was starting to get worried, school would be starting soon and she wanted to confirm her game plan for bringing Noelle before it actually happened.
Maybe they were both still inside? In Lancers room, or Ralsei’s. Yeah, that would be it. Susie jogged back into the castle, taking the stairs two at a time. She swung Lancers door, knocking even though it was already ajar. Empty. Okay then! No trouble.
Exiting Lancers room, Susie turned towards the room made for Noelle. She traced the doorframe with her claws and smiled. It smelt of wood and cinnamon, it made Susie feel giddy and warm.
A tiny pang of guilt ate at her too though, what if this was too much? Noelle might freak out if Susie went too intense with this and-
No. No, Noelle likes her. Noelle really likes Susie, so it’ll be okay, everything will go really well, there’s nothing to be nervous about. To calm herself, Susie took one claw and carved a small, asymmetrical heart into the doorframe. Everything would be okay
Susie trailed her fingers across the wall, taking deep breaths as she walked up the stairs and across to Ralsei’s room. They were both fine, they were her friends. Not like they’d leave her, or run away or anything. Then why did Susie feel so weird?
She knocked on the green doorframe, the corridor now decorated with glowing lanterns. It was starting to look like a real home here. Susie hoped Noelle would like it, would feel safe here. It was the opposite of the Holiday manor, where Noelle’s house was cold and bright, Susie’s home was warm and dimly lit.
“Come in!” Susie heard from through the doorframe. She pushed the door open.
Ralsei stood in the centre of the room, wearing a flowing pink princess dress. Queen measured his arms and tied ribbons into his curly fur, and Lancer stood holding a mirror up. Ralsei startled when Susie entered.
“Susie! What time is it? I didn’t know you were up already! I’m sorry let me get this silly stuff off and-“
Susie crossed the room and pulled Ralsei into a hug, careful not to hit him with her spiked bracelets.
“Nah dude, it’s chill, you look cool. Do you like this more than the robe?”
Ralsei blushed, looking down. Then they nodded.
“But I…I have a prophecy, plus a darkner shouldn’t be thinking this, wanting this, wanting to change what I know I am.”
Susie sat down on the floor, pulled Ralsei’s sleeve until they sat down beside her.
“You’re a person dude. You’re a person before you’re a darkner, before you’re a prophecy, before you’re a prince or a princess or whatever.
If wearing dresses and ribbons and stuff, if that makes you happy, I ain’t gonna make fun of you for it.” Susie smiled a toothy grin.
This is probably why she felt off, she could tell someone she well, cared about, was hurting. Everything is okay.
Ralsei smiled, leaning their head on Susie’s shoulder. “Don’t you have school soon, Susie?”
Susie sighed. “Oh shoot, yeah. Just wanted to check, I’m still good to bring Noelle here right? I mean her rooms all ready and stuff, I wanted to make sure everyone was ready.”
Ralsei nodded. “Everything’s ready, no need to worry. Bring her here after school, and I’ll meet you, her and Kris at the opening. Have a good time, okay?”
Susie patted Ralsei’s head affectionately before rising to her knees and stretching.
“You make a pretty badass princess.” Susie grinned to Ralsei, who beamed back in return, her eyes crinkling with joy.
Susie gave Lancer a squeeze and a high five before shutting Ralsei’s door, giving a thumbs up to Queen as it swung shut. Susie sighed happily.
“Good for her.” Susie smiled to herself as she walked down the stairs, out the castle, and through castle town.
She reached the light beam that would take her to school, and for once didn’t dread the thought. Maybe she’d actually…learn something? That, or she’d spend the whole day staring at Noelle.
Susie stepped into the light beam and floated up to the light world, closing the closet door behind her.
____
Noelle wasn’t at school. Noelle wasn’t at school at the start of the day, she didn’t rush in late with messy hair and awkwardly stacked books. She didn’t prance in at lunch with an excuse that she’d been at a track meet. She didn’t appear outside of school at the end of the day.
It was stressing Susie the hell out.
“Dude where is she?” Susie paced back and forth by the dented lockers, Kris standing by her side.
“She’s never late to like, anything, much less school. What the hell?!”
Kris shrugged.
“That’s not helpful Kris! You don’t think I like, scared her off? Something like that? After yesterday??”
Kris shook their head. “No way. She really likes you, no way she’s avoiding you on purpose.” They said in their usual flat tone.
“That’s worse! What if she’s like, hurt or something then? What if she’s sick?!”
“Bro, chill out, it’s gonna be fine. She’s probably just busy and forgot to tell anyone. She doesn’t get sick easy, can’t catch colds with a winter coat.”
Susie slumped against the lockers. Kris patted her snout, earning a play snap of Susie’s jaws, though the action lacked flare.
“Just worried. Don’t wanna keep Ralsei waiting, me and her put a lot of work into getting stuff ready.”
“You and..her? You and Noelle?” Kris tilted their head in confusion. Kinda like a dog.
“Nah, me and Ralsei. Pretty sure she’s a girl now, Queen and Lancer were putting her in dresses and she liked when I said she made a cool princess.”
Kris laughed, “huh yeah, checks out. Well, either way, she won’t be mad if we’re late. We can just go to Noelle’s house, find her there.”
Susie nodded, happy to have an actual goal now. She was still so jittery. She pushed off the lockers and began walking to the front door of the school. The sunset was starting to bleed through the doors onto the tiled floor.
Just as the two reached the front door, Kris’ cellphone buzzed in their pocket. They stopped by the door and pulled it out, holding it to their ear.
“Yeah? Hi, mom. No, she wasn’t at school. Why? Wait what?! You’re serious?”
Kris’ face dropped beneath their thick bangs, Susie felt her heart plummet into her stomach.
“What the fu- hell. Oh crap. Okay. Yeah course, course don’t worry. Just rest. I’ll be home soon.”
Kris hung up, and didn’t move. Their hands came up to their sides, head hung low. Silent.
“Dude.” Susie walked up to them, shook their shoulders. “Dude what the hell happened? Is everything okay? Was it about Noelle?”
Kris nodded. Their hands were, shaking. That’s bad. What the hell happened?!
“Kris what is it? Kris? Please answer me.” Susie begged.
Kris brought a hand up to their mouth, biting down hard, their shoulders shaking, small sobs breaking through. Susie rushed forward.
“Shit Kris, Kris what is it?! Cmon whatever it is it’ll be fine, if she’s hurt we’ll bring her to castle town and, and heal her, it’s fine.”
Kris shook their head. “She…it’s not her. It’s, Rudy.”
Rudy Holiday, Noelle’s dad. He was already sick, in hospital.
“Rudy? What happened to him?” Susie was shaking now too.
Kris just shook their head again.
“Dude! What. Happened?!” Susie shouted, before immediately pulling back. “Shoot I’m sorry I’m sorry. Just, is he okay?”
“He…died. Today. While we were in school.”
Died? No, no he didn’t. He couldn’t, right? He was, nice, Noelle said he was getting better. He had been sick sure but, not that sick. He can’t be dead, he was so nice to Susie.
Poor Noelle. That’s what kept rattling through Susie’s head. Poor sweet, wonderful, Noelle.
“I’ve, I’ve gotta find her. Noelle. I’m gonna bring her to castle town. Oh my god. Go find Ralsei, tell her what happened. Oh god.” Susie pulled Kris into a tight hug, squeezing them close. Kris hugged back just as hard, Susie could feel their tears on her neck.
When she pulled back, Kris wiped their eyes with their sweater sleeves.
“I’ve got to check on my mom first. When you find her, call me on her phone and I’ll come back to castle town with you. Keep both of you safe.”
“I will, promise man, I will.”
The two heroes ran out the school, tearing down the streets of Hometown, Susie checking every alley for Noelle, until she saw someone standing in the distance, by the lakes edge.
_____
Noelle didn’t really have a plan for what she wanted to do, just to get out of this town and get out of it fast. She had finally managed to pull herself off the floor and up the stairs, into her sisters bedroom.
December would have comforted her, like when dad first got sick, Dess would have been there, wouldn’t have hidden herself away like Noelle’s mom, would run home to comfort her instead of shutting her out with work.
When Rudy first got sick, when Noelle was about seven, Dess had been only twelve, but had used her allowance to buy Noelle ice cream, to take her skateboarding with Azzy and Kris (where Noelle had skinned her knee and cried) and had done everything she could to keep Noelle’s mind off the battery of tests and Rudy slowly losing stamina.
Why couldn’t Dess be here now? Why did she have to disappear?
Noelle had been alone since Dess left, alone when the other Holidays were all home, alone in school, even with Jockington being on the track team with her, even with Catti and her spells, even with Berdly when she tutored him.
Kris had pulled away too, the only person who knew what a weirdo she had once been. Noelle had even been alone in her own head, scared and helpless.
Her thoughts first started to scare her only a few months after Dess disappeared, her games starting to feel hollow and lifeless. Her blog too, which she started to connect with people, feeling like screaming into an empty voice. Noelle had wanted to hurt herself, to smash her computer, to burn her hair off, but knew she couldn’t.
That’s not what Noelle’s did.
Not until Susie, did Noelle feel like a real person. Susie who barrelled into everyone’s space, who laughed and growled and didn’t care if the teachers liked her. Or so Noelle had thought.
Yesterday, when Noelle saw Susie, that wasn’t what she saw. She saw someone kind and vulnerable, someone shocked by the concept of being lov- liked, of being adored. The way she had blushed off Noelle’s compliments, instead being physical, holding Noelle close to her, heart drumming into Noelle’s chest.
But Susie couldn’t fix her, couldn’t fix what shattered years ago, like a piece of glass dropped to the ground, or the patterns that thorn bushes etched into Noelle’s arms as a kid.
No, Noelle was a sheep. A harmless, fluffy thing, that people doted on or looked down on, who was too good of a follower to stray to the edges. And if she did stray too close to the water well, even the most devoted and loving guard dog couldn’t save her from drowning herself.
Maybe if Noelle told her, told her in full the plans she’d had, to “run away” as Susie had guessed, maybe Susie would understand. Or maybe it would get her laughed at, like the therapist who told her she was too smart to want to die.
Noelle thought of all this on the floor of her big sisters bedroom. She remembered Dess as a teenager, hiding alcohol and cigarettes and roll-up joints under her bed. Maybe it’s all still their.
She pulled a box out from under Dess’ bed, rooting through the contents. She found a half-empty bottle of gin, a pack of crumpled cigarettes and sticker-covered lighter, a tin full of…unique leaves, and an exacto knife.
Noelle took the cigarettes and alcohol, the smell of weed always made her nauseous, and the knife, even looking at it made her feel sick, like bugs were crawling through her veins.
Noelle was still crying as she shoved the cigarettes into her pocket, the bottle heavy in her hand. Her mouth tasted like salt and metal, heart heavy. Nothing was ever going to be okay, ever again. Her father was the last thing holding her family together, and now…now he was gone.
Susie would still be in school, she didn’t have to know anything was wrong. If she knew it would just hurt her, Noelle didn’t want to hurt her. Not someone so good, with a smile that could fix anyone, anyone except Noelle. Selfish, weak Noelle.
She decided to go to the lake. The lake would be a good place to die, one of Dess’ favourite spots. Maybe she’d find her there, maybe Dess would come down from the clouds, give her wings, pull her away from Hometown. Maybe she’d see Susie, maybe they’d get along.
Or maybe something evil and horrible would pull Noelle down, down further than anyone was meant to go, into the murky water, never to be seen again.
She took the longest route to the lake: that being the only route. In a small town there wasn’t much room to be choosy. Noelle couldn’t wait to leave.
Her hooves left small imprints in the dirt as she walked down the trail. Asgore's shop was empty, lights dim, Noelle hoped he was alright. She considered wiping away her hoofprints, but no, screw that. Maybe if people knew what happened they’d stop being so blind, so meaninglessly compliant. They deserved to see.
Noelle sat by the shore, allowing her hooves to dip into the water as it lapped at her ankles. She took a cigarette out and lit it, taking a deep breath in and doubling over, coughing at the taste. Dess had made it look so easy.
She took a swig of the bottle of gin, screwing up her face. She supposed it was good she already felt numb, it would make this torture, building up her nerves, much easier.
Nothing to do but swim now.
____
“Who’s there? Noelle is that you?” Susie cried out to the figure in the distance. Their long hair was whipping in the wind, the sun was shining too bright in Susie’s eyes to see their face. They were partially submerged in the lake, up to about their knees, and still walking forward.
“Hey! Who is it?? Noelle if that’s you, it’s Susie!” She rushed forward, closer towards the shore. She reached the picnic benches, a small pile on one of the seats.
A sweater, a lighter, an empty cigarette box, a mostly-finished bottle of some spirit, and a note, pinned to the green-and-red fabric.
I’m doing something crazy.
“Noelle! Noelle come back!” Susie called out, more urgently this time. She ran to the shoreline, water beginning to soak into her canvas shoes.
The figure turned back, Susie could see Noelle’s antlers under her hair, red nose glowing even in the shadows.
“Susie…?” Noelle slurred, voice half drowned out by the water and the wind. “What are you…why are you here?”
She kept walking, backwards now, deeper into the lake. The water was soaking her skirt now, the fabric inky black.
Susie followed her in, pushing through the water as her jeans weighed her down, waterlogged. “Noelle I, I heard about your dad. I’m so sorry. We can talk about it all, we can, just tell me what you need. Come back to the shore.”
Noelle was submerged up to her waist before she spoke again.
“It’s all gone Susie. Everyone’s gone.” Noelle sighed. “Everyone’s left me and now I’m all alone. I have to find her, I have to tell Dess what happened. She always wanted to get out, I just have to follow her.”
“Noelle no! You’re not alone.” Susie ran faster, screaming above the splash of water. She was still walking further away, out of Susie’s reach, what was she doing?!
“You said, we could do something crazy.” Was Noelle smiling?! “But this one, you can’t come with me, this one’s too crazy for even you.”
“Nothings too damn crazy for me Noelle, just tell me what you’re trying to do!” Susie finally caught up with her, out of breath and soaked through. Noelle’s hair was starting to spread in tendrils throughout the water, caramel blonde made murky by the water.
“I want to fly, Susie, I want to fly but I can’t, I can’t get away like that. If I can’t ascend and be…beautiful, find Dess then,” Noelle laughed to herself. “Then I guess I’ll go find my dad.”
Susie grabbed her wrists. “Noelle stop! This isn’t going to fix anything! What about your mom? About Kris. What about me? I know we can’t fix it, your sister going missing, your dad dying but, I want to try help.”
Noelle kept walking backwards, her hands linking with Susie’s, she was stronger than Susie thought, pulling them both back. Susie tried to dig her heels into the disappearing lake bed.
“My mom, you’ve met her. She hasn’t come to see me, she wasn’t even at the hospital when he died. Kris can’t look me in the eyes, I thought it was getting better but, they’ve changed, don’t tell me you haven’t seen it?”
Susie didn’t know what to say to that.
“And, and me?” Was all she could muster, voice breaking.
Noelle stopped. Took a step forward, her hands coming up to cradle Susie’s face.
“Oh Susie, I’ve liked you for so so long. It was so easy for me to, to decide you would get it if this happened, that you wouldn’t be sad, you were too cool to be sad.” Noelle was still laughing, though her eyes were filled with tears.
“You’re too good, Susie. For me, for anyone in this town. I can’t drag you down too.”
Noelle was really crying now, her face stretched into a false, almost gruesome grin. Salt tears mixed with the fresh water. Susie took her hands from her face, and pulled Noelle into a hug. Her claws cradled Noelle’s soaked hair, one hand wrapping round the small of her back.
“You aren’t dragging me down Noelle. You aren’t. I like you, and I want to help you. And we can figure it out.”
Noelle screamed into Susie’s neck, hyperventilating, broken sobs from deep in her throat. “I- I just” she cried, “I just want t- to disappear. I hate it here, I hate everything here except you. I ca- can’t stay here forever.”
Susie soothed Noelle softly, stroking her hair, keeping her close against her chest. Noelle’s knees suddenly gave out, leaving Susie to support her full weight. She leaned down slightly, pulling Noelle fully into her arms. A repeat of how Susie had carried her just a day before.
Noelle continued to cry as Susie waded back to shore, exhausted. The sun was beginning to set, Susie watched it cascade over the water like molten gold.
Susie laid Noelle down softly on the beach, helping her sit up, before sitting down next to her. Noelle leaned against Susie’s shoulder while Susie ran her claws through her hair once more, carefully circling her antlers.
“Why did you save me? Nothing’s ever going to be good again.” Noelle mumbled it almost too quietly for Susie to hear, she felt her heart break even more, looking at how small the deer was in her arms.
“That’s not true. It’s going to suck for a long time but good things are still gonna happen.” Susie promised.
“How do you know?”
The dinosaur sighed. “My mom, she died when I was a kid. She was basically my only friend. And before she died was the last time I stayed in one place for any real length of time.”
Noelle looked up to face her, wide eyed. “Oh my god, Susie…”
“No no, it’s fine. Well obviously it’s not but, this isn’t about me. Point is, yknow, even though I miss her, and I was sad for a really really long time, there’s still good things, even if it took me a while to see them again.”
“A while?”
“Yeah.” Susie nodded. “Yeah, until I met you, pretty much. Things sucked until I met you. But you make me happy. You and Kris and Toriel and like, playing the guitar, and some other stuff.”
“Other stuff?” Noelle’s voice was small.
Susie sighed, “there’s something, somewhere, I want to show you. But I dunno if you want to deal with all that today. It’s somewhere that helped me, made me feel real.”
Noelle wiped her eyes. “I can’t promise it’s going to make me feel better, but I’ll try, I want to know.”
The two girls rose to their feet, still soaked to the bone. Susie was starting to get really cold, reptiles weren’t exactly made for jumping in the lake whenever.
“Can I borrow your phone?” Susie asked awkwardly, helping Noelle to her feet. “Promise it’s important.”
Noelle nodded, crossing over to the picnic bench very slowly and shakily. She reached into the pocket of her sweater and dug out her cellphone. Then, her fingers ghosted over the bottle and the empty cigarette box.
“Did you, have all of both of those? Are you okay?” Susie asked, flicking through Noelle’s contacts for Kris’ name.
Noelle laughed a little. “They weren’t even half full, either of them. I feel a bit terrible but I’ll be okay.”
Susie nodded, watching as Noelle observed the note she’d left. They both stared at it for a long moment.
“Should I..?” Susie started.
“No, no I’ve got it.” Noelle looked at the note, and tore it clean in half, crumpling the pieces.
Susie smiled sadly, clicking on Kris’ name and listening to the phone ring.
“Dude? Yeah it’s me. How’s your mom? No, not okay at all. But she’s safe. Meet us at the school in ten minutes, and bring spare clothes.”
Susie hung up the phone and turned to Noelle. “Come on, it’s going to be okay.” She stretched out her hand, Noelle took it.
_____
“Are you two sure, about this?” Noelle asked as they swung open the schools front doors. Susie, in one of Asriel’s hoodies and Noelle, in one of Kris’ skirts and old band shirt. She felt like hell, but Susie was excited, and it felt good to see Azzy’s old stuff.
Kris leaned against the wall as Susie pushed open the door. The three headed inside cautiously, the sun almost fully set now. Susie led them both to the closet at the back of the door, her claw wrapped around Noelle’s own hand protectively.
She pushed open the closet door, revealing a wall of black, seeping out onto the floor in weird…tendrils? Fog? Susie turned around and squeezed Noelle’s hand.
“Trust me.” Susie grinned, “I’m not abandoning you.”
Then, she leaned back and disappeared into the fog.
“Susie! Kris, what the hell??” Noelle gasped in horror. “What is that stuff?”
Kris smiled and guided Noelle’s hand into the fog. It felt, fine? Normal?
“It’s the entrance into a dark world. It’s safe. Just follow me.”
Noelle was still skeptical, Kris had always loved to prank her. They clearly saw the look on her face, as they turned to face something. Then, Kris did something they hadn’t done in a very long time. They hugged her.
“I’m sorry about your dad, Elly.”
Noelle breathed in slowly, they smelled of apples, it was always comforting. She hugged them back.
“Thanks, Krismas.”
Kris then walked into the black fog, beckoning Noelle after them. She followed, eyes squeezed tight.
Then, she fell, a long way down, right into Susie’s waiting arms.
_____
“Noelle? Hey, it’s okay, breathe.” She was still in Susie’s arms, good, okay. She was alive, she wasn’t in pain - not physically at least - but kept her eyes closed.
“Can you open your eyes?” Susie asked softly. Noelle nodded and took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes, her mouth fell open. There was, a city? Stretching out in front of her. The sky was dark and swirling, everything glowed blue.
She saw someone in the distance, in shining silver armour, with blue skin and hair. Was that…KRIS?!
Noelle yelped, jumping out of Susie’s arms and promptly falling flat on the ground.
“Noelle! Jeez careful.” Susie kneeled down to pick her up. She looked so…pink? She was studded with shining golden spikes, black leather and various pieces of jewellery. It reminded Noelle of the dream she’d had, of the ferris wheel and the shining city and Queen.
The dream she couldn’t forget, too intricate to be fake. She looked at what she was wearing. A flowing white gown, woven snowflake symbols shining on the fabric.
Noelle gasped, gaping at Susie. “It was real? The dream?”
Susie pulled Noelle up to her feet and rubbed her neck sheepishly. “I wanted to tell you under better circumstances but-“
“The ferris wheel? You already knew I liked you?” Noelle’s nose burned red, god she’d said so many dumb, embarrassing things, assuming Susie would never know about them.
“God no I was so oblivious. But yeah, it happened, it was real. Please don’t freak out? Or hate me?” Was Susie, nervous?
Noelle took her hands. “I don’t hate you, thank you for showing me. This is maybe the coolest thing I’ve ever been a part of.” Noelle hugged her, adjusting herself slightly to avoid as many gold spikes as possible.
Behind Susie, someone coughed under their breath. Noelle looked over her shoulder. Seeing a goat monster with thick glasses in a soft lavender dress waving at her.
It was odd, before, Noelle could hardly tell them apart from Asriel, now she took a better look there were hardly any similarities apart from the species.
Susie broke the hug, guiding Noelle towards the goat.
“Noelle, this is Ralsei. She’s the princess of Castle Town, where we are now. She’s a nerd but like, a cool nerd.”
Noelle shook the girls hand, pushing a smile. She was still upset, devastated, but she could still make a good impression.
“It’s nice to meet you properly.” Noelle said. “I like your dress, it’s beautiful.”
Ralsei beamed back. “Thank you! It’s new. Uhm, we have a room for you, it sounds like you could do with a break. Just, follow me?”
Noelle nodded, thankful when Susie offered her arm to hold. Ralsei and Kris went first, talking about things Noelle very quickly zoned out. The city was beautiful, bunting and holly plants hung from the buildings, everyone seemed happy.
“Hey, you okay?” Susie broke her out of her thoughts.
“Yeah, just thinking. My dad would’ve loved it here.”
Susie squeezed her hand. “Yeah, course he would’ve, he was a great guy.”
Noelle leaned her head on Susie’s shoulder as they continued to walk up the streets. Townies greeted Susie over and over, she was so popular here, it made Noelle smile. She was glad there was somewhere Susie could be herself, somewhere she wanted to share with Noelle.
Ralsei guided the group into her castle, up the stairs, until they stood outside a yellow door decorated with wooden antlers. Susie beckoned them all inside.
The room was spacious, a large bed, a big TV with boxsets of movies and shows and concerts that Noelle used to watch as a kid. Holly and mistletoe hung in the corners, and a large Christmas tree twinkled by the far wall. The carpet was white and fluffy like snow. It was warm and smelled of chocolate and cinnamon.
It felt more like home than anywhere Noelle had been since her family would curl up on the sofa for Christmas specials with the Dreemurrs.
Noelle wandered the room, spinning slowly, admiring the twinkling string lights. The ceiling had stars painted onto it. The wardrobe was filled with a mix of cozy dresses and graphic tees, the kind Noelle always loved but never could’ve worn at home.
“Do you, like it?” Susie asked, shifting on her feet. “Me and Ral can change whatever you want if you-“
“It’s perfect.” Noelle wrapped her in a warm embrace. “Thank you, it’s so so perfect.”
Susie pressed a light kiss to Noelle’s forehead, pushing her blonde hair out her face.
“Can I stay here tonight? I don’t want to go home again.” Noelle asked. In response, Susie lifted her up and laid her on the bed softly. She tried to step away, but Noelle held her hand firmly.
“Stay, please? Until I go to sleep at least.” Noelle begged.
The dinosaur girl sat on the edge of the bed, smoothing down Noelle’s hair while gesturing at the others to head out.
“I’ll catch you guys later, don’t worry.”
Kris gave her a thumbs up and Ralsei waved goodbye, leaving the girls alone in the soft light of the room.
Noelle felt her eyes begin to drift shut with sadness, exhaustion, and some (hopefully not misplaced) hope.
Susie squeezed her fingers. “Get some rest Noelle, sweet dreams, I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Noelle’s eyes drifted closed, a world full of soft darkness and kind reptiles slipping away, replaced with dreams of her sister and father, picnic blankets and guitar music, and a field of pink and gold.