Chapter Text
Claiming 10
Lizzie
January 23rd
My best friend. One of the only girls I could trust, Claire Biggs, had betrayed me with Thor. Thor of all people. The boy who had killed my sister. It was something I was sure of. My fucked up brain made it so I couldn’t believe most things it told me. But I knew in my heart that this was true. Who was Claire to tell me otherwise? Her cruel words rang in my head. Your sister killed herself Lizzie. The voice taunted me. “NO SHE DIDN'T" I screamed back. Not sure if I was yelling into the void or out loud. The pain in my chest pierced through my defenses leading me to collapse on the floor. “Stop it” I cried feeling as if it was stopping me from getting back up. “Stop it stop it stop it stop it” The voice ignored my pleas and filled my brain with unwanted thoughts.
It’s all your fault. You pushed everyone away and now nobody is willing to help you. “No no no” I cried, feeling hands pull me into them as though they were begging me to come back. Was it the monster? The monster never held me like that. It just clawed and scratched and took until I had nothing left to give anyone. Not even my friends. All I knew anymore was how to lash out. I felt myself scratch at the person but they refused to let me go. I couldn’t comprehend why.
Why wouldn’t this person just let me go? Everyone else did. It was obvious no one liked me and I didn’t like them right back. I would hurt anyone who came near me. Just like how I hurt hugh. My Hugh. Now he was with Katie. Katie was beautiful and seemingly intent on hurting me. She was always with Hugh. But I had what she really wanted. Patrick was another person who tried to comfort me. She was getting too confident in what was mine. It made me feel the old itchiness in my bones. The thing that made me want to scratch and kick people. I didn’t really want to hurt anyone. But the itchiness took me and I felt my hands reach out to scratch whoever was holding me.
“Hugh?” I cried hoping he would be there. “Baby I'm right here.” the voice said and I felt as though I was going to cry. “Please Hugh it hurts” I could feel Hugh break apart at my words and I wasn't sure if it hurt me or him worse.
“Don't worry Liz” Hugh said as my senses came back to me “I'll get you home.” Then Katie came into view with a questioning look on her face. Hugh simply shook his head and she seemed to understand as her lips pulled tight and she walked back into the dance. Hugh looked down at me and I felt the same way as I used to feel when we were together. Like I always wanted to be with him. Like I could never let him go. Hughie Biggs was mine and I was ready to win him back.
The pain of losing Claire slowly crawled it's way in my bones and the voice reminded me that I was focused on Hugh while me and Claire had been wanting to tear each other apart. you know how it made her feel the first time Lizzie, Imagine how she'll feel when you date him again right after losing her. I willed myself to push the voice to the back of my head. Claire knew that Hughie was important to me either way. Not just because I wanted to hurt her.
Besides she had gotten with Thor. She knew what he had done and now all that she could say was his praise. The rage might've boiled over again but Hugh's hand on mine was enough to calm me down. He had always had been able to do that. Take me down from all of my highs.
His hand squeezed mine and my heart felt as though it was going to jump out of it's chest. But then I remembered where we were going and it stopped. Home. The cold and lonely place where I had no one. My mother could barely get out of bed this time. I knew that she would die. She had always been sick but this time felt different. I felt that she knew she would die too. "Hugh?" I asked keeping my voice quiet as to not distract. "Yes, Liz?" He asked looking at me quickly with a smile.
"Can you just take me to your house?" My voice came out so shaky it almost surprised me. It seemed like the answer he had to give physically hurt him as he looked at me. "Liz" He warned voice low. "Claire is there and after what happened I don't think you two should be around each other" His words causes my eyes and nose to burn. Claire.
When I'm trying to get my thoughts collected the road to my house appears and I feel my stomach turn. My mam will be there. And she'll be sick. And I'll be having to watch her lay in bed sick and dying while the last of my life drowns with her. When my sister died part of me went in the ground with her. If my mother dies I'm not sure if I'll have anymore pieces of life inside me.
Except for my heart because that lives inside Hugh. Even if he doesn't want us to be together anymore. I think he'll always know that it's inside him. That it beats inside him. Beats in time with his.
The car rolls to a stop and Hugh gets out to open my door. I sit up and open it before he can, stepping into his arms. "Please Hugh, stay with me. Just tonight" I beg feeling like I might cry if he doesn't say yes. "Liz" He says my name softly. "Katie" I say finishing what he was going to say before he even said it. I turn around and walk into the house where my suffering started.