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Draag reconditioning was not a fun process, Veronika knew that, she's watched it happen to The Black Parade. The pills are meant to make them forget, to make them obey without fight or question. It leaves them in the beds not wanting to get up due to the nausea and headaches.
Veronika could care less about the rest of the band, she only cares about one member. Ray Toro. The curly haired guitarist has completely captured her attention. She really only watches hom play. She watches him play his guitar, listens to the beautiful sounds he makes it play. She'll sit by the others, occasionally, but she always makes her way back to Ray.
Ray seems to do the same with her. He'll follow her from room to room, like a lost puppy. He listens to her every command without question. He sits in her office and watches her work. He always curls up on the chair in the corner of the room or the one in front of her desk.
She can feel his gaze, the admiration in it, the attention he gives her. She tolerates it, maybe even enjoys it. That's the problem with the reconditioning. She doesn't want him to forget her, doesn't want to lose his attention. She knows it's unprofessional, she knows he's supposed to stay in his cell until the next show or unless he's told otherwise.
She could get in trouble for disobeying orders. Luckily, no one ever questions her, or at least they've learned that she'll tell them off if they do. Sylvia is the only one brave enough to question her. Veronika tells her it's none of her business, or that she needs him for something. Sylvia knows it's a lie. Of course she does, why wouldn't she.
Sylvia can definitely see that Veronika has a favorite. It's not like she's one to talk. Everyone knows Gerard is her favorite, she's very protective of him and lets him off the hook very often. If Sylvia can have a favorite, then she can too.
~
One morning after reconditioning, Ray stands at the door to Veronika's office. He's peering in, waiting. Veronika looks up and beckons him in with a wave of her finger, the same one she does to him on stage. When Ray comes in he doesn't greet her like she's supposed to.
Ray walks over to the chair in the corner and curls up, bringing his knees to his chest. Veronika can tell the effects of the pills have hit him, his movements are slow and sluggish, and his face looks paler. She's surprised that he even came down this morning, she expected him to stay in his bed like the rest of the band.
She was almost gonna let his lack of greeting slide, but she can't go getting soft on him now.
"What are you supposed to say, Ray Toro?"
Ray looks up from where his face is buried in his knees and looks at The Secretary for a moment before answering.
"Uhh, hello miss. Sorry miss."
Ray exclaims, watching her with big eyes, checking to see if she disapproves. Veronika shakes her head at him, her lips pressed into a thin line. She walks over to Ray and puts the back of her hand to his forehand for a second, before pulling it away finding his temperature normal.
Veronika scoffs before going back to sit in her chair, turning away from Ray.
"I should kick you out, make you go back to your cell. Maybe that would teach you to remember your manners."
She scoffs before returning to her paper work, trying to ignore the sad and panicked stare Ray is giving her, but when he pleads. "No ma'am, please! I promise I'll be good. I promise I won't forget next time!" She can't help but feel pity for him, poor Ray doesn't know how to use his manners when he doesn't feel good. Shame on him.
"Shush! Be quiet, you're distracting me! Shame on you."
Ray immediately stops pleading staring at her, his eyes big and wet with unshed tears
"Yes ma'am."
Ray says, barely above a whisper. He stands up to leave before Veronika snaps her head towards him.
"Where do you think you're going? Be a good boy and sit down quietly. Now!"
She commands, pressuring him to sit back down with eyes hidden behind sunglasses. Ray immediately sits down, curling back up. He's fighting back tears. He disobeyed her. He made her mad.
~
Ray has been sitting in her office for hours, the only change was that he moved to the chair in front of her desk. He's sitting with his chin resting on his knees, watching her with a far away stare. He hasn't said a word, hasn't moved from his spot, he doesn't have the energy to. The pills have left him exhausted with a pounding headache.
Veronika hasn't asked him to do anything all day, like she normally does. She decided to let him rest. She soaks in his attention, wondering if this time could be the last time he looks at her like this. Could him forgetting to greet her have been a sign that the pills are working well?
She doesn't want that. She wants him to remember. Veronika actually enjoys his company, though she'd never admit it. It gets awfully lonely in there. She decides she wants to put an end to Ray's reconditioning.
She's gotta think of a good plan to stop it though. Obviously she can't just ask The Dictator, that would immediately get her fired and executed for trying to go against direct orders. She'll have to be slick and discreet with it.
~
When it's time for their next reconditioning session, all four of them are lined up waiting for their pills. Lucky for Veronika, she's the one who hands them out today. Nurse Sylvia is watching her like a hawk though, almost as if she can tell Veronika's up to something.
Veronika hands each member their capsule, when she gets to ray she leans in close to his ear. She yanks his hair hard enough to make him yelp in pain making it look like discipline.
"Make it look like you took the pill and don't you dare ask questions."
She whispers, waiting for him to answer her. When she sees him nod his head in understanding, she abruptly pulls away and lets go of his hair. She hands him the capsule and positions herself just enough to try and block Sylvia's view. Veronika watches him, her eyes like lasers as he pretends to take the pill
Ray watches her with obvious fear in his eyes as he brings the capsule up to his lips. How is he gonna pull this off? He tips the cup back and puts the pill in his mouth, leaving it under his tongue and pretending to swallow. As soon as he's done Veronika whisks him away to her office
Once the door is closed Veronika sharply turns on her heel to face Ray.
"Spit it out, now!"
She whispers urgently, her eyes darting around the room nervously, though Ray can't see her eyes. Ray immediately spits it out into the trash can by her desk. He looks at her for a minute, trying to find the right words. He knows she said no questions, but he's so curious.
"Ma'am why did you-"
"What did I tell you?"
Veronika cuts him off quickly, walking over to sit at her desk.
"Now sit down before I send you to your cell."
She says sharply. Ray goes to sit down, but instead of sitting in the chair he decides to sit by her feet. He tilts his head back looking up at her, watching, just like always, the same intensity as every other day. Veronika feels like a weight has been lifted off her chest, knowing that if they can keep doing this, Ray won't forget her.
She looks down at Ray, her face not giving away any emotion, but her actions betray her. She starts gently stroking Ray's hair, moving her finger through the long, soft curls. Ray sighs and melts into the touch, leaning his back against her leg.
The moment is cut short when Sylvia walks through the door. Veronika abruptly pulls her hand back and glares at her.
"You're supposed to knock before you enter my office, Sylvia."
Veronika says angrily. Sylvia just walks up to her desk and rests her hands on the desk, leaning her weight onto them.
"Can I have a word with you, ma'ma?"
Sylvia asks, her eyes flicking down to Ray, who's still on the floor, and back up to Veronika.
"Alone?"
She says, emphasizing the word. Veronika says nothing for a second before beckoning Ray to his feet.
"Go wait outside."
She comands sharply, pointing to the door. Ray looks at her sadly for a second, already missing the contact, before stalking off to the door. When the door closes Sylvia turns back to Veronika. She lets out a breath before speaking.
"I know what you did."
Veronika tries to keep from panicking, knowing what'll happen if Sylvia finds out and tells her off.
"I don't know what you mean, Sylvia."
She replies, trying to keep her composure.
"Don't try to deny it. You told Ray Toro not to take his pill. Why is that?"
"I did no such thing!"
Veronika says defensively
"Yes you did. Now tell me why, or shall I guess."
Sylvia says, smiling at her. The red lipstick staining her lips somehow makes her look sinister.
"How dare you accuse me of such a thing! Now get out of my office before I tell The Grand Immortal Dictator!"
Sylvia cocks an eyebrow at her.
"Not if I tell him first, he'll be so angry to see you went against orders, and why, because you like Ray Toro? Because you favor him?
Veronika scoffs at her.
"As if you don't have a favorite. Everyone knows you favor Gerard Way."
"At least I don't disobey orders when it comes to him."
Sylvia says, before turning to leave.
Fine, I won't tell, but if you try and pull that again I won't let you off easily."
Sylvia saunters out the door leaving Veronika defeated. Of course. She should've never tried this.
She takes off her glasses and rest her head in her hand, letting out a huff of frustration. She stays like that for a minute before remembering Ray is still standing out there waiting to be called back in.
"You can come back in now."
Veronika calls, returning to her work and waiting for Ray to come back in. After about a minute he hasn't come in. Veronika looks up confused. He should've come back by now. She gets up and walks to the door, only to hear Ray pleading with the guards.
No, no, I'm with her! She told me to wait out here for a minute!"
Ray shouts as the guards grab him to bring him back to his cell.
"Yeah right, nice lie. Now let's get you back to your cell."
One of the guards says, getting ready to drag him away.
Veronika steps in, grabbing Ray's arm to stop the guards.
"Leave him here."
That's all she has to say and the guards immediately let go and walk away. Veronika drags him back into her office. She lets go in the middle of the room and walks back to her desk, letting Ray decide where to sit.
Ray, of course, goes back to sit at her feet, resting against her leg. He waits hoping she'll pet him again. He looks up at her expectantly.
Veronika feels his eyes watching her. She glances down at him, seeing him looking up at her with big eyes. He looks like a puppy waiting for its owner to give it a treat. Veronika sighs and starts running fingers through his curls again.
Ray once again melts into the touch, closing his eyes, a small smile creeping up on his face.