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His math class is the first time something goes wrong.
Avery has actually been trying to pay attention this time, because he has a math test coming up and he's trying his best to not fail his last year at school (unless he goes to university, of course, but he’s not even sure what he would do if he did. So as of right now, this is his last year of school). With his decision to make an effort to listen, he's sitting away from his friends, who are two rows behind him.
It’s when his teacher is explaining a problem on the board that he feels something hit him in the back of the head. He turns around to see his friends pointing at something at the bottom of his chair, so he looks down and picks up a paper airplane. He’s about to throw it back and ignore them, when one of them makes an unfolding motion with their hands and mouths ‘open it’. Well, now he’s curious. He turns back around and unfolds the plane, reading the question inside.
‘derek helps you with studying right? can you share chemistry notes with us please please please pretty pleeaassseee we’re so cooked for the test’
First, Avery rolls his eyes at it. It looks like it was written by Jacob, considering it’s entirely written in lowercase. Then, he actually reads it. And Avery’s eyes widen at the words. Test? What test? He wasn’t told about a test! He shoots a panicked look over his shoulder and his friends’ faces drop, all of them looking between each other as they whisper amongst themselves, potentially trying to come up with some way to cheat.
Avery watches the teacher for a moment, making sure she isn’t turning around anytime soon before he grabs his things and scuttles towards his friends, taking his usual seat at their table. “What do you mean we have a test? Since when?!” He whisper-shouts, frantically looking around the group as he waits for an answer.
“Since last week, apparently!” Annie whispers back, sounding just as confused. “I didn’t hear a thing about it!”
“That’s because you’re always skipping.” Jamie replies, a smirk painting her face.
“What, so you knew the test was coming and just… Chose not to do anything about it?” Annie tilts her head, a smirk of her own growing when Jamie stammers and groans before giving up.
“Okay, let’s not focus on why we’re not prepared, let’s just do our best to get prepared.” Mason says, already breaking out his chemistry book. “What should we start with?”
“No, that’ll take ages. Just go through the whole book and highlight anything important. We’ll read it all over and over again before the test and surely we’ll be ready then, right?” Jacob suggests, looking for approval on the faces of his friends. He gets a few nods which is apparently enough for him, because he gets out his own book and starts highlighting. Jamie, Annie and Mason do the same.
Avery just watches with a sigh. He looks across the table to Leah, silently begging for her to help him out. But she just shrugs. “Sorry, you know I’m bad at chemistry. ‘s why I’m not taking it.” And she returns to her work.
Avery drops his head on the table, getting his book out and following in his friends’ footsteps when he sits up straight again.
☆
After an interval spent cramming as much information into his brain as possible within 30 minutes, Avery walks into his music classroom hoping for an easy lesson. At least he gets to see Derek this period. Maybe he’ll be able to help him if their teacher allows them to practice in one of the studios.
Despite his best wishes, his music teacher does not allow them to do this. He also does not allow them to talk. Or sit within two metres of someone. Because apparently their class ‘doesn’t get enough done’. Tell that to the music assignment they were given the whole term to finish and Avery finished in two weeks. Basically, he thinks it’s a load of bull and his teacher is just an asshole.
He doesn’t get any work done. He talks to Derek on Discord.
avery.t.mayo
der
der
der
derek
babe
babygirl
mamacita
dermanium
d3rlord3
Dermanium??
avery.t.mayo
THATS the one ur questioning rlly
d3rlord3
Yes
Do you want something?
avery.t.mayo
mainly money
d3rlord3
Very funny.
avery.t.mayo
ikr
anyways i need help
i have a chemistry test today i had no idea about and i was wondering if you could like
idk
send notes over or smth
d3rlord3
Sure thing
Or better yet
When’s your test?
avery.t.mayo
last period
d3rlord3
Perfect, I’ll meet you at lunch and help you then
Sound good?
avery.t.mayo
god ur so annoying i cant believe you use proper punctuation in your texts
d3rlord3
I can’t believe your inconsistencies in your use of u instead of you and ur instead of your or you’re
avery.t.mayo
shut up
anyway talk at lunch
d3rlord3
Yeah see you then
Then he watches Skywars games. And he would do that for the rest of the lesson, but…
“Avery,” Avery nearly jumps out of his skin at the sound of his name. He instantly switches to the tab he’s supposed to be on and slowly turns around to look at the teacher, a nervous smile on his face. “Are those… ‘Skywars wins’ making you ‘jump for joy’?” He asks, obviously having gotten a glimpse of the video title. How long was he standing there for?
Avery looks around the room, catching sight of his boyfriend snickering at his current situation. The worst part is that he can’t even flip him off because his teacher’s right there. “Yeah, actually. You wanna watch?”
“Turn it off.” He says, only walking away from Avery when he’s gotten rid of the tab with a sigh.
Avery glances back at Derek, who still has an amused smile on his face. He flips him the bird the second the teacher turns around. Derek just laughs quietly.
☆
Even despite Derek’s help, Avery’s attempts to make sure he’s prepared for this test are futile. He sits down, gets his test handed to him, and finds that any and all information that could’ve possibly helped him has disappeared from his mind. Isn’t that just grand?
While Avery may act like he doesn’t care if he gets a low grade on a test, the truth is, he really, really cares, actually. He does try, no matter what his parents may have said or what his teachers say. He tries really hard, actually. But trying hard is, well… Hard. Stress just piles up with no way to release it and he gets stuck in depressive episode after depressive episode. His parents would always say he was making up excuses, and he started believing it after a while. Now it’s just been imprinted on his mind, just like everything else they had to say. Sometimes he thinks no matter how far away from them he gets, they’ll always be there. In some way, at least.
He does what he can in the test. Which is, sadly, not a whole lot. Later, he’ll look back and realize he actually does know how to answer a lot of the questions he’d read, but right now he’s just stuck. His memory is failing him and he doubts he’ll be getting any further than section 7 of 10, with almost every answer up to this point being incredibly half-assed and slightly bullshitted.
When he’s finally set free, his friends are wearing the same, dread-filled expression as him. At least he’s not alone. ‘It’s a small comfort,’ he thinks with a small smile ‘but it’s better than nothing.’
Derek finds him as he’s getting in his car, sliding himself into the passenger seat and making Avery jump.
“Jesus- Derek! A little warning next time?” He laughs, one hand bracing himself on the door and the other over his heart.
“Impossible. Surprise attacks are too effective to give up.” Derek says, pressing a quick kiss to Avery’s temple.
Avery shakes his head. “Effective at what? Murder?”
“Entertaining me, obviously.” Derek rolls his eyes, leaning back in his seat. “Do you have work today?” He asks, dropping the act entirely.
“Unfortunately,” Avery sighs, slumping in his seat. “But I have time to go home and get ready first, thank god. You need a ride?”
“That’d be great, thanks.” Derek smiles, plugging his seatbelt in. “So, how was the test?”
Avery groans, dropping his head against the steering wheel. “Terrible. I’m definitely gonna fail.”
“Hey, no you won’t. Every time you say that you end up getting an A+, so I’m sure this time will be no different.”
“You’re just saying that because you have to.” Avery laments, slowly sitting up again.
“Statistics don’t lie, Avery.” Derek refutes, taking hold of his hand. “And I try my best not to either. I’m sure you did just fine.”
“Thanks, Der.” Avery smiles tiredly, starting the car and letting go of Derek’s hand to back out of the parking space and begin the wait to actually be able to leave the parking lot. “What about you, how were your big boy advanced classes?”
“Don’t call them that.” Derek laughs, ruffling Avery’s hair. “My day was fine, thank you. My calculus teacher is still a nightmare, but I think he’s starting to like me. Maybe he’ll stop being such a prick soon, who knows.”
“Well, here’s to hoping.” Avery says, pulling out of the parking lot with a cheer. “Hey, that was a shorter wait than usual. Maybe it’s good luck!”
Derek just hums, smiling at his boyfriend. “Maybe.”
☆
‘I should find a new job.’ Avery thinks as he deals with his tenth idiotic and unhappy customer of the night.
“Ma’am, I’m sorry, we’re currently understaffed, so your meal is going to take longer to be ready.” He says slowly to the fuming woman sitting in the car at the window. She looks to be in her 30s, she doesn’t have any kids in the car or booster seats, meaning it’s unlikely she has kids. If she does, it’s unlikely she cares about them enough to be this mad at some poor teenager working for minimum wage. Or maybe they’re just kids who are old enough not to need booster seats ordering happy meals, but somehow Avery doubts it. So the conclusion he comes to is: this woman fucking sucks. Doesn’t take a detective, really.
“I know! I heard you the 50 thousand other times!” She yells, “Just make my damn meal! It can’t be that hard!”
Avery’s eye twitches. “We’re trying our best to get orders done quickly, but-”
“Don’t give me excuses! Give me my meal!”
‘Oh my god, I’m gonna get fired. I’m going to punch her and I’m gonna get fired.’ “Ma’am, please stop yelling-”
“I’M NOT YELLING!”
‘I’m ending my shit, I swear to god.’ Avery turns around and finds his coworker, Stephen. He points a thumb towards the window and Stephen nods in understanding. Avery pats him on the shoulder as he takes his place and Avery works on getting the woman’s meal finished as Stephen takes care of keeping things calm. He’s probably the best out of all of them at that.
Soon enough, Avery is done making her meal and rushes over to save Stephen from the hell he’s probably going through. “Here you go, ma’am, have a good night.”
“Finally!” She says, snatching the bag and driving off right away.
Avery pinches the bridge of his nose. “Fucking hell, I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.”
“Come on, Aves, you got this.” Stephen encourages, playfully punching his shoulders. “You’ve handled worse, you’ll get through tonight.”
“Yeah, you’re right…” Avery sighs, taking his place at the window again as another car rolls up. “Thanks, dude. Last time I sub out, promise.”
“No worries, man. Step back all you need.” Stephen says as he walks away, returning to one of the grills without a second thought.
‘What a martyr.’ Avery thinks, watching him for a second before getting back to work.
☆
When his shift ends, Avery is spent. He walks out and sighs deeply, feeling the relief of the cold night air filling his lungs as he takes off his cap. He’s had a long and frankly terrible day, now he can’t wait to get home and do absolutely fuck all with his boyfriend until the sun comes up tomorrow.
When he begins walking to his car, he spots someone familiar getting out of another. He focuses on them for a second before his face lights up. He walks over without a second thought, stopping the person in their tracks. They look confused for a second before realization hits them upside the head and their jaw drops.
“Hannah?” Avery asks, his smile growing by the second.
“Holy shit, Amelia?” She replies and Avery winces, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Oh- that’s right, you don’t know.” He laughs sheepishly, looking away for a second before looking back at her now confused expression. “It’s actually Avery now.” He drops his hand again, his heart pounding slightly at the anxiety that comes with a situation like this. He does his best to reassure himself that Hannah would never do that. Not in a million years would his ex best friend ever-
“What?” She tilts her head to the side, her brows furrowing. “Since when?”
‘I guess it makes sense that she’d want to know. This is gonna be fine, right?’ Avery swallows and nods slowly as he thinks. “Uh, about 3 years ago, I think.”
“Huh.” She nods, her mouth pressing into a thin line. Avery doesn’t feel too good about this all of a sudden. “It’s just… Isn’t that a boy’s name?”
‘Oh dear god. Please just be stupid, please just be stupid, please just be stupid.’ “Um…Kinda, yeah. That’s the point. I’m trans, Hannah.”
“That’s not real.” She says almost instantly, the crease between her brows returning in an instant.
Avery feels his stomach drop. Goosebumps crawl along his skin, making him shiver. He feels an indescribable anger boiling inside him, but a much larger feeling of crushing sadness and paralysing fear. He tries to say something, but the words get stuck in his throat. Before he can try again, Hannah is continuing on.
“‘Trans people’ are just deluded. All that matters is what’s in your pants. Your ‘personal preference’ doesn’t count. Doctors assign you what you are and what you are, Amelia, is a girl. Not a tranny freak.” She argues, jabbing a finger in the middle of Avery’s chest.
“I-” Avery starts, staring at Hannah with wide eyes. He doesn’t recognize the girl in front of him. The girl who used to be so accepting and understanding and open to new things, so kind, so sweet. This can’t possibly be her. It’s been a long time, but how could she possibly have changed this much? “Hannah… What?” He finally manages, taking a step back. “That’s bullshit and you know it. What the hell are you talking about?” He can’t find the words he really wants to say. His brain is jumping all over the place, he can’t think. It feels like his entire world is currently shattering into tiny little pieces, scattering all over the wide expanse of nothing and everything like deadly confetti. He’d honestly much rather take a shard to the eye than continue this conversation. He needs to get out.
“Honestly, we should just keep them separate from us normal people. Put them all in a secluded area so they won’t bother us with their delusions. Don’t you think so, Amelia?”
“I-I have to go.” Avery mumbles, narrowly avoiding tripping and eating concrete when he accidentally steps on his untied shoelace as he turns around.
“Don’t ignore me.” Hannah follows him, her shoes clipping his heels as he walks. “You’re only upset because you know I’m right. Don’t let queers ruin your life, Amelia. You know what you are and it’s not what they’ve gotten you to believe. Wake up.”
Avery doesn’t respond. He doesn’t look at her, tries his best to block out her words, but it’s all pointless, really. He can feel the tears welling in his eyes and he just starts running. He knows it probably looks pathetic, but it works, because he’s soon sitting in his car with no sign of the girl. She must’ve given up and gone inside.
He takes a deep breath and flips the sun visor down, staring at himself in the mirror. Fat, salty tears start running down his face and he flips it back up, not wanting to only be able to see who he used to be. He can still barely see her in the window as he drives, and he can definitely still feel her even when he gets home. While this would normally be an incredibly relieving thing to Avery, he can’t help the exhaustion that fills every inch of his body, right down to his bones at the sight of the house.
He takes a deep breath before entering, only half relaxing at the warmth of the inside and the smell of something cooking in the kitchen. He leans against the front door, taking a moment to himself. There’s no one sitting in the living room, so he assumes Derek is either in his room or helping his mother cook. He’s not sure if his sister is here, but he wouldn’t be surprised; she says she gets lonely without her mom and brother and his cool boyfriend hanging around now that she’s living on her own. Avery doesn’t think he’s very cool, but he’s glad Derek’s family likes him.
When he feels like he’s gathered his thoughts enough, he pushes off the door and drags himself over to the kitchen, leaning against the doorway. “Hey, Clara.” He greets tiredly, stepping inside fully when she looks over and smiles.
“Avery!” She walks over and throws her arms around the boy, tightening the hug for a moment before she lets go and goes back to making dinner. “Are you hungry? We’re having goulash for dinner. I might’ve made a bit too much, so you’ll probably be getting some in your lunch tomorrow.” She laughs, glancing over with worry when Avery doesn’t give more than a tired smile in response. She narrows her eyes at him. “What’s wrong?” She asks, leaning against the counter and putting a hand on her hip.
“Oh, it’s nothing, I swear.” Avery says, waving his hands in front of him. “Just… Had a long day, y’know? School, assholes at work, just the usual stuff.”
Clara looks him up and down for a moment before she raises a brow. “You look like a wet puppy. Something happened.” She states, crossing her arms over her chest before sticking her head out the doorway and yelling, “Derek!” Avery almost has to cover his ears with the volume.
Derek comes into the kitchen a few seconds later, wiping his wet hands on his shirt and mumbling in French, "You don’t have to yell so loud, mom, I was only down the hall." He pauses when he sees Avery standing in the middle of the kitchen, looking like he just got struck by lightning and then walked home in the rain. “Avery, you’re back. What’s wrong?”
“How are you guys so good at that?” He chuckles, getting a shrug from both Clara and Derek in response. Like mother like son…
"Derek, fix your boyfriend. I like him and I don’t want him to be sad." Clara tells Derek in German, pointing out the doorway in the general direction of his room.
"Yes, mom." Derek responds in the same language, taking Avery by the hand and leaving without another word.
“You do realize I have no idea what you guys are saying when you speak other languages, right?” Avery questions, picking up the pace a bit to keep at Derek’s side.
“Maybe you’ll just have to learn another language then.” Derek jokes, squeezing Avery’s hand as they step into his room.
“Maybe you should teach me.” Avery responds, only half-joking, as he flops down onto Derek’s bed. Really, it’s their bed considering how much he and Avery share it despite Avery technically occupying the guest room. He’s rarely ever actually in it, though. He much prefers Derek’s room and Derek has said he prefers having him there too, so they see no reason to stop.
“I wouldn’t be opposed.” Derek says, dropping down onto the chair at his desk and crossing his legs. “Now, talk to me. What happened?”
Avery groans, throwing his arms over his eyes and taking a moment to think before answering. “Long day made worse by assholes at work, then made fucking horrible by queen dickwad.” He explains vaguely, his arms slowly sliding off his face.
A moment of silence passes between them and when Avery doesn’t fill it, Derek does. “Who’s ‘queen dickwad’? What did she do?”
Avery’s arms drop onto the pillow and he sighs,staring blankly up at the ceiling. “Old friend and new enemy.” He says, stretching out for a second before sitting up, fidgeting with his fingers. “Her name’s Hannah. She was my best friend back in 6th grade and I saw her in the parking lot just as I got off work. She moved all the way across the country just before 7th grade and I guess she came back. I thought it’d be nice to catch up and… It… Wasn’t. It sucked, actually.”
“I think I gathered that.” Derek nods, resting his crossed arms on top of his knee. “Continue.”
“Basically, in the time she’s been away, she’s… Been fed some pretty transphobic ideas… Ones she decided to share with me when I corrected her for using my deadname.” Avery sighs, looking down at Derek’s nerdy ass Spider-Man blanket that usually brings him joy. It doesn’t work this time.
Derek stays silent for a moment, just watching Avery as he looks anywhere but Derek, fidgeting all the while. He frowns and stands up from his chair, walking over to the bed and sitting down next to his boyfriend. He still doesn’t meet his eyes, not even when Derek wraps an arm around his shoulders and starts speaking again. “Listen, Avery… I don’t know what she said, but you and I both know she’s wrong, yeah? We know better than anyone how completely wrong anything idiots like that have to say are. You are a gorgeous, gorgeous boy and no one can ever tell you otherwise. If they do, I’ll send my sister after them. Hell, my mom, too. They’ll come back begging for forgiveness. And probably with their wallet emptied.” He chuckles quietly, and Avery smiles slightly.
Avery finally turns his head to look at Derek and his eyes are shining with tears. He sniffles when Derek holds his face in his hands, brushing away tears with his thumbs. “The world can be… Really fucking bad, especially towards people like us, but you know what? Things will get better. One day, we’ll be sitting on the couch in our shared apartment, watching the same movies we already know we love, and we’ll be able to say ‘we’re okay. We made it. Things are better than before and I’m so proud of us for getting here.’ Call me corny, but you know I’m right.”
“You are,” Avery says, resting his head against Derek’s shoulder and wiping his tears with the back of his hoodie sleeve. “You always are. Thank you, Der. I love you.”
Derek just smiles at Avery, wrapping his arms around his waist. “Don’t thank me, Aves. I love you, too.”
“Now, you wanna help my mom with dinner?” He asks, rubbing Avery’s shoulder comfortingly.
“In a sec. Just let me rest for a bit.” He yawns, sinking further into Derek’s side.
“Of course, Aves. Anything for you.” He says, resting his head on top of Avery’s.
A couple minutes later, Avery is out cold. Derek doesn’t wake him. Instead, he lays him down and tucks the blanket under his chin, pressing a kiss to his forehead and snapping a quick photo of his boyfriend before he quietly slips out of the room. Just before he closes the door, he whispers,
“Sweet dreams, Avery.”