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You have been in a committed relationship with Dr. John Shen for exactly two months, ten days, and fifteen hours. But who's counting?
Needless to say, what is going on between the two of you is relatively new. You had made the decision on your second date to take things slow with him, and he has been nothing if not accommodating. It was only recently that you both had started staying over at each others homes, and in your mind everything is going swimmingly. It's been so light and sweet. Cute morning and lunch dates, sweet texts sent throughout the day, and now newly added kisses when you are rushing out the door and he was just getting of his shift. Your relationship is currently in a beautiful bubble of a honeymoon phase and you were doing your very best not to pop it.
So why on Gods green earth are you currently stood in the waiting room of Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center?
Simple, your best friends offspring.
Nicolette, or Nicky, is one of the kindest and spunkiest ten-year-old's you have ever met. You have been in her life ever since she came into this world and you've basically been her second parent. You would constantly help your friend with late night diaper runs, school pick ups, you name it you have most likely done it for that little girl.
This closeness has also allowed for her sleeping over at your home, sometimes for multiple days. However this is the longest time Nicky has been placed under your care at once. Your friend had to travel for work and asked you to watch Nicky for the week that they would be away. An entire week with one of your favorite people, what could go wrong?
Nicky got sick two days into staying with you.
At first you thought it was just a cold, you had your friend call Nicky out of school and you began to nurse her back to health. Que the next four days full of puke, snot, and soup. You tried everything, but nothing seemed to make it any better. You even got to the point where you started using methods you only heard of in period pieces, the smell of onions still makes you gage a little. Any sane person would probably call up their doctor boyfriend and get his two sense on the situation. But the bubble has yet to pop, so you subconsciously made excuses as to why you couldn't send him a message. He's probably sleeping. He's probably at work. You don't want to bother him, it's just a cold. You can handle a cold.
But then, you couldn't wake her up.
Coolness had spread over your apartment, sun long put away and moon out in its full glory. You had just finished making a late dinner, veering away from anything that would be too heavy on her stomach. After turning down the heat on the stove you made your way to the little bedroom you had set up for her. The only light in the room comes from a small Peanuts themed nightlight that's been there since she was little. She still hasn't asked to remove it. Nicky was lying down facing away from you, the butter yellow comforter pulled tight as she grasps at the fabric. You sat on the edge of the bed and shook her gently.
"Hey Bug, dinners ready." you said softly. Nothing. "Come on Bug, I know you're hungry." You shook her more. Nothing. Then you noticed that she's more sweaty then the last time you checked on her, she'd started panting slightly, and when you brought your hand up to touch her face she was warmer then she probably should be.
"Shit." Your shakes became more forceful, "Hey Nicky, Nicky wake up. C'mon Bug if this is a joke it isn't funny." A strangled groan came from Nicky, eyes scrunching tight but still she didn't move. Something was wrong, very wrong. Your mind went into overdrive, you reached for the thermometer now permanently placed at her bedside and swiped it over her forehead. After a moment it finally had a reading. 107 degrees Fahrenheit. Double shit.
Hastily you go to grab your keys, wallet, put on some slippers, and make your way back to Nicky's room. You draped her body over your back and held her steady by her legs as you walked as quickly as you could out the front door and into your car. You placed Nicky in the passenger seat, buckled her in, and raced over to the drivers side.
Once you were in the car and started the engine, you were off. You were vaguely aware of where the PTMC was, but to be sure you got the directions up on your navigation app. Then you call your friend. The phone rang, and rang, and rang, and then goes to voicemail. You tried again for a second, third, forth time. They never picked up. You groaned, then left a voicemail.
"Hey, I'm on the way to the hospital with Nicky. Her temperature has skyrocketed and she wont wake up. I'll be sure to keep you updated but please call me back." You jabbed at your phone to hang up.
The jostling of the car and your frustrated voice is the combination that finally woke Nicky.
"What's going on?" Her voice was tiny and slurred. You looked over and her eyes were barely open and her arms were loosely wrapped around her stomach.
"Hey Bug," Your voice immediately shifted to that sweet one from earlier, a new level of fear added to it, "You really aren't doing well so we're on the way to the hospital right now. We'll be there real soon. Do you need anything?"
"No."
"Okay Nicky, just promise me you wont fall back asleep okay?"
"Okay."
Now here you are, standing in the waiting room of the PTMC with Nicky barely conscious hanging on your side. She's shaking slightly and she wont stop staring at the floor. With your arm tugging her close you guide her through the room and into line. There are people wall to wall with varying levels of illness and injury. The room reeks of sweat, blood, and hand sanitizer. You hadn't thought about it really, bringing her here. You're sure there are other hospitals that could've taken her to but in that rush of adrenaline all your mind could do was make sure she was okay. So you are stood in the very place you have been avoiding for a week.
Once you get to the front of the line you are met with the young woman behind the glass.
"Hi, um, this is Nicky. She is ten years old and has been running a fever for the past five days. Like half an hour ago her temperature spiked to 107 degrees and she would not wake up. As you can see she is conscious now but barely." You try to rattle off as much as you can, your nerves catching up to you.
"Okay, it sounds like she needs to be seen now. Let me get someone to take you both back."
Should you tell her? You should tell her.
"I don't know if he is on today but I'm a friend of Dr. Shen, could you let him know that we're here?"
"Sure I can do that for you, what's your name?"
You give her your name and she steps out of a door behind her. Not to long later a man in scrubs comes out of the big double doors to bring you both back. You gently guide Nicky to the bed the man points out. She needs your help to get her onto the bed, then you move to sit in one of the chairs lined up on the wall.
The nurse, who introduced himself as Mateo, made quick work of taking her temperature and asking for her medical history. You fill him in the best you can, mostly with what symptoms Nicky has been having the past couple of days. She chimes in a little, but they are mostly one word. You are hunched over with your hands laced together as you try to calm yourself down.
Just as you finish recounting the events of today the curtain pulls away to reveal a wide eyed John and a woman you're unfamiliar with.
You've seen him in his scrubs many times in the months you've been together, dates where he didn't have time to change and mornings when he came over to your place and made you late for work. But now it's different. The lighting isn't right, it's cold and harsh. It smells like antiseptic and you are surrounded by people in hospital beds. Now you are looking at Dr. Shen, not John. Same face, same clothes, whole different look.
"Hi." This is all you can manage to say.
As John takes in the scene before him, his shoulders fall just a little bit.
"Hey," His voice holds a calm concern as he makes his way over to your side and places a hand over your intertwined ones. It is at this moment you realize that you have been shaking. " What's going on?"
Before you can answer Mateo gives them the run down. You can't bring yourself to look at John or Nicky, so you stare at the floor. You know you should have contacted him and in not doing so you've failed the one person I've trusted yourself to take care of. Shame and fear course through your body.
"Hi Nicky," The woman that came with John speaks up. You watch as she goes up to Nicky's bedside. "My name is Dr. Ellis and this is Dr. Shen. We are going to give you some water as well as an IV with some fluids to keep you hydrated. Then we are gonna give you some meds to hopefully make you feel better, does that sound good?"
Nicky can only slightly nod her head, then Dr. Ellis turns her attention to you.
"Are you the parent?"
Your reply comes quickly, maybe too quickly, with a glance at John. "Oh no, she's my friends kid. I've been babysitting her while they're out of town." He knows this, you talk about Nicky all the time. You two have had so many conversations that started with you talking about her. Her grades, her newest interest, her part in the school play that you tirelessly helped her rehearse for were always something you touched on. And he new that she was staying over at your place for a short time. But the possibility of him thinking that you may have been lying to him puts you on edge. Your overthinking is really not helping the situation.
"Okay, well I'll put in those orders and Mateo will get you all set up." Dr. Ellis turns to John, "Do you wanna take her or is it too… personal?"
"No yeah I'll take her," You're not sure why you're surprised by his response, "You go ahead and check on your other patients, I'm right behind you."
Just as quickly as she was there, Dr. Ellis is gone. Then Mateo excuses himself to grab something and you are left with John and a very out of it Nicky.
A moment passes with nothing said between the two of you. You are looking down at your hands. The warm skin of John's hand is grounding. He is now sat in a chair next to you and you can feel the slight brush of your shoulders. At some point you'd opened your hands to take his, slowly tracing the creases and veins with your thumbs. Then his hand tugs and you let him pull your hands towards his face. Your gaze follows your hands until you are gazing into John's deep irises.
"Why didn't you call me?" The pain in his voice makes your heart hurt.
"Didn't want to bother you." You mumble.
"You could never bother me. Especially with something like this. Did I do something to make you feel like that?"
"No! No you didn't do anything, it was all me. I just thought I could handle it myself and I didn't want to do something that made you feel… Taken advantage of? I don't even know." You let out a frustrated sigh, more at yourself then anyone else.
"Well, you're here now. So let me take care of her and let me take care of you, okay?"
"Okay." Your voice is almost meek as you look at him, your faces closer together than they should be at his place of work. Finally he brings your intermingling of hands up to his mouth. He gives the back of your hand a kiss as his eyes search yours. You can see a world where he kisses you like that everyday. If you ever get to spend a full night off together, If you ever start to live together, If you ever-
Small giggles from next to you interrupts your train of thought. Breaking away from John's gaze you find Nicky looking at the two of you and giggling like her life depends on it. John untangles himself from you and you already miss his touch. You turn to fully face Nicky.
"What are you laughing at Bug?"
She mumbles something you can't make out, you press. "What was that?"
"Is that 'Hot Doctor Guy'?"
You freeze. Where did she hear that?
Oh. Your friend loves to have their phone on speaker. You two tend to talk about John. A lot. Your friend loves to categorizes the people you date, although they don't tend to be very…creative. Curse that wonderful, evil friend of yours.
Just then Mateo comes back in with a paper cup of water and all the things needed to hook Nicky up to the IV. He hands the cup to her with a little, "Lets see if you can keep that down." before working on the IV. In this time you slowly turn to see John looking at you with his eyebrow raised. He mouths 'Hot Doctor Guy' at you and you can't help but burry your head in your hands. You feel his body shaking beside you. He's laughing at you. This might be the worst day of your life. Then he stands up and makes his way to Nicky.
"Hey Nicky, how are you feeling? How's that water treating you?"
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It has been hours since you had arrived at the ED. Nicky's temperature has gone down several degrees, but they are keeping her for the night to monitor her. In the time you've been here your friend had called you back and you were able to give them an update, quelling their nerves at least a little bit. They should be back in the morning and will be getting a ride to the hospital.
Now Nicky is sleeping and you are curled in your chair trying not to fall asleep. Your stomach is gnawing at itself, your throat feels like you've been choking on sand, and your muscles are screaming at the position you are in. But you can't do anything about it, you need to stay by her side.
Just as you start nodding off for the ump-th time , someone draws back the curtain. John shuffles into the space, now instead of being armed with a tablet he seems to be hoarding sandwiches and bottles of Gatorade. He takes his place next to you, bumping his shoulder into yours and vaguely nodding to the food in his arms.
"You haven't eaten, here have some." His voice is soft as not to wake up Nicky. You slowly reach out and grab yourself a bottle and sandwich letting out a small, instinctual 'thank you'. You start eating and you notice something. He got your favorite. Hospital food is never the best, but John when out of his way to get your favorite sandwich. You hear crinkling as John unwraps his own sandwich. You two sit in silence as you eat. At one point John's hand ends up on your knee, a stable reminder of him. You finally speak once you are half way through your food.
"How did you know? That I needed food and… stuff."
"Because I know you." You can feel his eyes on you. "I know the little face you make when you haven't eaten but don't feel motivated enough to do anything about it. I know how your jaw clenches just a little bit when your throat's dry. I know how you fidget when you feel like your body isn't cooperating with you. I know you." His hand moves from your knee to caress your cheek, you feel yourself flush. You should be used to this, you know he's like this. But you've never had someone be so attentive. Someone so observant that he picks out the little things about you and saves them in his mind for later. You've never had someone care about you like that.
All you can say is, "Oh."
"Yeah, 'Oh'." The smile that graces his lips is soft, his head slightly tilted to the side to catch your line of sight.
"Nicky's parent should be here in the morning, so she'll be able to recover at home." You say half into your sandwich, muffled by bread.
"That's good." He says and you expect him to leave it there. However a second later he says, "Does that mean I get my partner back?" The humor in his voice isn't lost on you, although you do give him a small smack on the arm.
"How dare you!"
"What? I haven't seen you all week. I miss your face."
"Just my face?" The response is almost immediate, you finally falling into you and John's 'normal'.
It's Johns turn to flush now, blowing out a long breath and shaking his head. "No," His voice drops on octave as he pulls your face closer, "Not just your face."
You can't help the smile that creeps across your lips. You can tell by just the feeling of it that it's on of those big, cheesy smiles that John just loves to bully you for. But he doesn't bully you now. Instead he pulls that big, cheesy smile into a kiss. A kiss that tasted like sandwich, fruit punch Gatorade, and a little bit of the iced coffee you're sure he drank earlier in the night. A kiss you didn't know you needed all week. A kiss that tasted like him.
The position is a little precarious with the arms on the hospital chairs getting in the way. The hand that was once on your cheek moved to the back of your head. His other hand finding purchase on your thigh. Your hands aren't sure what to do at first, but then find their place on his chest after haphazardly placing your food on your lap. You were as close as you could be and for once the ED fell silent. No sick children or traumas. Just the two of you.
But that didn't last long. Once the sounds of the hospital comes crashing back to you, you gently pull away from the kiss.
"I think you have some patients and residents to attend to Mr. Attending." You say, breathy and finally for the first time tonight, calm. John groans, his forehead meets your shoulder as he takes a deep breath.
"Fine…" His word is so drawn out and melodramatic it makes you chuckle. You card your hands through his hair and he slumps further into you. He is showing no sign of actually moving.
Only once John gets his fill of you he does get up, placing a peck on your temple in the process. He puts whatever remaining food on a little bedside table next to Nicky. "In case she wakes up feeling hungry." He says almost sheepishly when met with your gaze. Then he gives you a quick wave before walking out and back into the chaos. Just as he leaves you see a young woman, most likely one of his residents, speed walking up to him to present a case. You let out a hum as you watch him leave.
This morning you wanted to avoid John at work like the plague, and now you are wondering why you didn't bother him sooner.
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Once 7am rolls around you wouldn't necessarily call yourself rested. At one point in the wee hours of the morning Nicky had woken up, eaten her very late dinner, and made room for you in her bed. And who were you to say no to her? Still you never got more then an hour of sleep at a time. Every chance he got John made an excuse to check on you two. They were mainly just quick check ins, but there was one 'quick check in' when Nicky was awake that turned into the scariest semi interview semi interrogation delivered by a sick tween you had ever seen. Other then these check ins, the general noise of the ED had tended to keep you up. Now you are being awoken not by the neighbor to the lefts cough or Nicky shifting next to you but from murmuring approaching the curtain.
Yet again the curtain is pulled aside to reveal John, now with your friend in toe. You get up and clear the way as your friend makes a bee line to their child. As your friend starts fussing over Nicky you make your way to the other side of the curtain, giving the parent and child their much needed privacy.
For the first time since arriving at the emergency room you are finally able to take the setting in in it's entirety. People in scrubs bounce from room to room accompanied with members of the public in varying states of needing care. People on gurneys are tucked into every free space one could find, some even spilling into the hallway. You take a deep breath in as you allow the sterile sent of the room enter your senses. Then you feel eyes. Soon you spot Nicky's nurse speaking with a small group of other people and you lock eyes with a round faced woman who's smile could only be described as mischievous.
Before you can think about that look any further, the curtain is pulled again and John joins you outside in the hallway. His hand finds the small of your back
"You good?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm good." Your arms cross in front of you, feeling more conscious than ever that you are at his place of work. "How's Nicky?"
"Just gotta get her out of here and be diligent about those after care instructions and she'll be golden. Mateo will be back soon to remove her IV, after that she's free to go." You nod at his words. However, he isn't done. "Is she still staying at yours after this?"
"No, she was supposed to go back with them today anyway and even if she was supposed to stay longer I doubt any of us would want that."
"Right. Right, cool." John mumbles out. "Y'know, my shifts over in half an hour. I was thinking you could maybe stick around and we could get some breakfast." His hand starts moving up your back, knuckles brushing against your spine just light enough to give you tingles.
"I don't know about that."
"No?" His shoulders slump and his eyebrows crease in the little way that you love so much. You let a beat of silence past. Gotta leave him hanging just a bit.
"Well I've got to drop those two home and to be honest I don't feel 'going out ready' right now," You shift your body to face him more, "But maybe you could come over and we can do breakfast at my place, I got those hash browns you like."
"And ketchup?"
"Yes you child I also have ketchup."
"Okay," He says a little too quickly, "Okay yeah that sounds awesome." A smile forms on his lips and you can't help but reciprocate. The way John's eyes land on yours isn't heavy, but it is full of what you can only hope is affection. A pointed cough rips you away.
Dr. Ellis is stood in front of you joined by the woman that had been looking at you earlier. The woman looks between the two of you with that same smile on her face as Dr. Ellis addresses John. "It's about time we do handovers, don't you think?"
He blinks at her briefly before nodding, clearing his throat as his hand drifts away from your back and returns to his side. "Yeah, let's get on that." He turns back to you, "So I'll see you in a bit?"
"Can't wait." You give him one last look before heading back into the room.
Nicky's discharge is quick and painless, next thing you know you have your friend and a wide awake Nicky talking about everything and anything as you drive them home. A David Bowie song plays lowly, you listen to it as you let them talk. It is only when your friend nudges you that you join in.
"Did you hear that?" They grin at you, gesturing to Nicky.
"Hear what?"
"Go on, tell them!"
In the rear view mirror you see Nicky straighten, almost offended that you didn't hear the first time. "I said," goodness the sass on this child, " I approve."
"Of what?"
"Hot Doctor Guy." The nickname makes you cringe.
"You mean Dr. Shen?"
"I know what I said." Your friend can't help the laugh that comes to them. And you can't help the glare you throw them from the corner of your eye.
Parent and child go back to chatting about apparently the man of the hour. You join in when prompted, but otherwise you remain to yourself. Your forever favorite person likes your newest favorite person. That's the best outcome you could hope for. Eventually you pull up to their home, Nicky shouting out a quick goodbye before booking it to the door. However your friend stays a moment and takes your hand in theirs.
"Thank you for making sure she was okay."
"Yeah of course." You squeeze their hand in yours.
They take a deep breath and you quickly follow suit, releasing whatever tension still lingered in your muscles.
Just as they step out of the car they turn back to you. "He seems like a good guy." The smile on their face is tired, whatever mask they had put on for Nicky gone. Instead in this moment they are just a person you love wanting you too be happy. And as you think of what awaits you at home, a tired John in your living room eager to drown his hash browns in ketchup and drown you in kisses, you realize you are happy. Filled with unadulterated happiness. Long-term happiness.
There is not much to do about that now so you can only reply with what you truly think.
"Yeah, he really is."