Archive of Our Own

The time of the elves was over on middle earth, sailing their ships they returned to the sacred lands of Valinor, to life happily and in peace for their eternal lives.

For all evil was banned on Arda, and the god of chaos forever locked into the endless void,

the great eye shattered.

Even the last of the kinslayerswho had forsaken himself to endlessly wander came to rest after decades of self loathing and suffering.

For hejoined his brothers in the void they cursed themselves into.

And like this hundreds of years passed by.

A never ending peace for those that were chosen by the valar.

But as cruel some saw the Gods of the world, they weren't.

They too know forgiveness.

So after decades over decades, they decided to speak out a second chance to those who cursed themselves, willingly or not.

And even the twisted maia of the old evil should get this chance.

Of course not all elves where too happy about this, for it meant to many that their own murderers would be free again.

And many feared that old feuds would life up again, and destroy their so loved and kept peace.

But as many feared it, many celebrated the news.

For long lost lovers would be united again, friends would come back together, and of course the hope of change after the imprisonment was there.

So a big festivity was held a few weeks after the valar gave those a second chance.

It was beautiful to look at, everywhere elves fell into each others arms and

tears of happiness were shed.

And the mood was great in general, many old songs were played and if you listened closely even the soft and beautiful voice of a certain singer could be made out.

It even was a time of happiness for those who still where burdened with their past deeds, for now they were able to relax and enjoy the day, at least for the time beeing.

Under those celebrating also was Celebrimbor, who enjoyed the festivities just a bit more carefree than others did.

You see, he was a special case. He seemed to have chosen to forget his past, and his wounds.

No one thought something else than this, because even freed many still suffered the past memories. And he was too happy for that.

Needlessly to say, that everyone was rather happy for him to have forgotten, because his end was almost competing in pain and suffering as Maedhros´ own stay in Angband did.

That's why Curufin and Celegorm even more angrily glared at their beloved Tyelpe dancing with some fair haired maia in the halls.

Celebrimbor seemed to have some fascination with blonde hair and would never say no to any one like that offering him a dance.

But Celegorm was a hunter, and he could sense danger pretty easily even after all that time in the halls of Mandos.

And while the vala promised that they would look over the evil maiar of Morgoth, and no one needed to worry about them. He was wary of this maia that danced with his nephew, for Celebrimbor may be not able to reckon who he was dancing with, but he did.

And they didn't like the fact of that, even more now because they saw them going in for a kiss.

No, that was enough.

They stomped through the dancers , gripped Tyelpe by his wrists and dragged him away, leaving the maia there by himself staring baffled after them.

Celebrimbor gazed at his father and his uncle first confused too, but then anger showed on his face.

He didn't even manage to open as much as his mouth and start a word as Celegorm started to already angrily speak.

“Do you even have an idea with whom you did dance there?”

Curufin added “You can´t just take everyone as your partner who looks pretty and comes along your way!”

But that made Celebrimbor just more upset, and in his anger he simply shouted at them, that yes he knew who he was dancing with. Yes, he was aware that it was a maia, probably even one of Morgoth´s and yes he didn't care about it.

He stepped away, but not before quickly turning around facing Curufin,

“And yes father I believe I am a grown man, allowed to choose my company myself.”

With that he left them standing there, and going back to his companion that he left rather unwillingly. And in a very unfitting moment too he added mentally, by Eru they almost kissed!

But of course as he arrived back at the place he left, the maia was gone.

For a moment he just stood there, sighting annoyed and cursing his uncle and father in his mind.

While they only meant good, it was very stupid that every time he managed to find some company he liked a bit more, even if it only was for a quick swing in the night, they cut through it.

He knew that in his past he made the mistake to fall in love with a certain maia, just to be betrayed in the deepest. But that didn't mean he would repeat it.

And not every blonde haired maia was hiding a monster beneath his skin.

At least not anymore he thought.

His grey blue eyes wandered in search of his companion, but he failed to spot him.

I need to find him, so at least he would be able to excuse, or maybe go on where they had been interrupted.

Since he didn't seem to be in the room anymore Celebrimbor walked off into the gardens, in hope of finding him there.

But all he did find was a glimpse of red locks and golden hair ornaments.

If he stayed, he probably would see more than that but he had enough manners to leave the two love birds be.

But at least they could have managed to get to a bed, even after thousands of years apart.

His posture slumping, he left the gardens, what if I do not find him? He must take me for so rude or childish....

Sunken into those thoughts he almost didn't notice the movement in the corner of his eyes.

It was him.

He had chosen to take some rest in one of the many rooms the mansion had to offer.

Taking a deep breath Celebrimbor entered, and immediately stood face to face with the maia.

He just looked breathtaking, his hair like silk, long golden eyelashes framing his perfect ember eyes.

That was what Celebrimbor made dance with him in the first place, he looked so perfect, and godly.

That also made him forget that he actually came to ask for forgiveness for leaving so suddenly and instead he simply fell into his arms and kissed him deeply.

Surprised by the sudden kiss, they both stumbled onto the couch, their fall softened by the many pillows.

But this didnt stop him from kissing back passionatly himself.

Soon they needed to break the kiss, and Celebrimbor found himself panting hardly while staring onto the others face.

His cheeks quickly started to fill with a red blush as he realized what exactly he just did.

What was that about not acting rude or childish? He wanted to become one with the air and vanish.

But to his surprise the maia just chuckled and held him where he was, stroking over his back to calm him.

A slight smirk dwelled on his lips as he spoke “You're pretty bolt for kissing someone you just met, like that.”

That made Celebrimbor chuckle awkwardly himself, but then he looked seriously to the maia, coming closer again.

He swallowed before choosing his next words “Oh?” he tilted his head a bit “But I do know you. I know you even very well!”.

There was a slight shimmer in the ember eyes “Do you now?”

He raised his hand and swept some of Tyelpe´s dark hair out of his face,

“Then, why don't you tell me my name. If you dare to say you know me.”

Of course the maia wasn't believing Celebrimbor, it was common knowledge that the once ancient elven smith lost most of his memories.

Celebrimbor sat up straight at those words, his eyes determined to prove his companion wrong. He stared a while at him, it seemed almost hard for him to speak up, but in the end he did.

Almost mocking in tone he started “ Well. It depends. As we first met you wanted to be called Annatar by me, but If you want it I could also simply call you by your true name, Mairon.” he broke up short before staring directly into Mairon´s eyes that had lightly widened “Or If you wish I can call you Tar-Mairon too.”

Now the shock and surprise were visible on the maia´s face, for he expected many things, but not that Celebrimbor would recognise him.

After all the people had said the elf was suppressing certain pieces of the past.

“So you knew, you knew from the start as I asked you for that dance...”

he broke up rather speechless.

“Yes” Celebrimbor answers “I knew”.

Mairon shook his head lightly smiling a little bit, but also not fully believing it.

He kissed him again, deep and even a bit desperate.

Clutching his hands into Tyelpe´s dark hair, he broke up and stared at Celebrimbor.

Ember eyes into blue.

“But..” he began “do you truly remember everything, Tyelpe?.” he almost looked sad as he asked that.

Because I cant believe you do, if you would you wouldn't react like this. After all the pain I caused you....

Of course Celebrimbor gets the hint, and he retreats immediately from the maia, seating himself next to him rather than staying on top.

He becomes very silent, his eyes a bit glassy and they seem to stare off into the void.

“What a way to ruin the mood...” he slightly turns his head towards Mairon “but yes. I remember. I remember everything.”

Mairon tilts towards the elf and asks him again, he needs to.

“Really? Every single thing?”

He doesn't receive an answer this time, he then sits back into the pillows.

Talking to the elf but also to himself “But If you do, why did you come back to me?”

Celebrimbor isn't able to face him, he's holding back tears.

He had known he would face Mairon again, but his throat felt like swollen shut.

He wasn't able to speak up.

Because I saw the regret flaming up in your eyes as you killed me he thought.

Because I love you.

Because I loved you even after you betrayed me.

Because I still love you after all.

Finally, he manages to muster up enough strength to just say it to him.

To just tell him.

But as he turns around to do so, he freezes.

He wasn't facing the pretty façade of Annatar anymore, no.

Before him with a worried expression sat Mairon in his true self, gold blonde hair cascading down his head, golden glowing eyes watching him.

Golden eyes watching him, he can´t help it. Memories flash up in his mind and pure terror fills his face, his body.

He is completely frozen, tears shimmering in his wide opened eyes.

Golden eyes. The eyes that where filled with so much anger and cruelty.

Mairon sees the terror, and he reckons the fear.

The fear of a broken Celebrimbor before him, covered in wounds of months of torture.

Slowly he reaches out for Tyelpe, wanting to comfort him, “...Tyelpe..?”

But as soon as he moves, Celebrimbor flinches back like a hurt and cornered animal.

He cant stop the tears flowing down his horrified face as he shivers before mairon.

The maia realises his mistake at once, and sorrow fills his being. He looks down, “I see--”

Before he is even able to finish his words, he gets knocked into the pillows by Celebrimbor.

Mairon is too shocked at first to take in what is happening.

Tyelpe is hugging him, shaking all over and crying messingly into his robes.

And Mairon lets him.

After all he would had accepted even if he would try to kill him.

It wasn't as if he didn't deserve it.

Tenderly he sets a hand into the black hair and sighs.

For a while they stayed like that, in complete silence, and if it wasn't for Mairon´s sharp ears he would have missed the very hushed whisper:

“Because after all, I still can´t stop loving you.”