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“What are you doing?” Harrow asks as she leans against Gideon’s doorframe. Gideon stares up at her, resisting the urge to scream at her and to tear out her heart. “Gideon Nav, answer me!” she demands and still, all Gideon can do is stare up at her. She looks so despondent as she puts everything she’s ever owned into a few boxes, it isn’t the first time nor will it be the last.
“I signed up for the army. I’m leaving tonight,” she tells Harrow as the other woman backs up. Her black eyes widen and she stares at Gideon, clearly about to say that she’s not, that she can’t. But Gideon interrupts her, “I am. And don’t act like you care when you have your new little Tridentarius girlfriend,” Gideon snarls the name and Harrow finally seems to put the pieces together.
“Are you joining the military because I have been associating with Ianthe? You are ridiculous!” Harrow exclaims, voice shrill. She starts pacing around the small dorm room and Gideon runs her hand through her hair. Gideon can’t meet her eyes, the ones that she’s known for as long as she can remember. She’s seen them and Harrow herself through so much but this is something entirely new, pure despair. “Gideon. You have to think this through, I mean, you could die or get injured or…”
“I’ve already enlisted. And c’mon, did you really think that I was just going to come at your beck and call for the rest of my life? I can’t just spend my life like this when you don’t even care about anyone except yourself!” Gideon shoots out as Harrow stares at her, blinking away tears.
“I do care! I care about you more than anything I have ever met. Please Gideon,” she pleads as Gideon glares at her. It’s a lie, it has to be a fucking lie because there’s nothing she would want more than having Harrow care about her and she never gets what she wants. She’s never gotten anything, not friends who actually like her, not the scholarship she tried out for, not parents who would take care of her or even parents at all.
“Don’t lie to me Harrowhark. Bye,” Gideon says as she finishes putting everything away and stands. Harrow reaches out, trying to hold onto her for just one more moment but Gideon dodges and goes to the door. She knows that she’ll never see Harrow, the only person who she could ever understand her, again. But it’s been ending for so long that this doesn’t feel like the last goodbye.