Chapter Text
Michael Robinavitch
This is the first time you’ve seen Michael in months, and there he is standing at the end of the wedding aisle. It’s not yours, and maybe that’s the problem. You had even told yourself that you would happy for him.
You had sat at home, practicing the words in the mirror until they sound convincing enough to you. ‘Congratulation, Michael’ You had said to yourself in the mirror, until the words didn’t shake anymore, ‘You look great’ You would try and say with a smile ‘I’m so happy for you, Michael.’ You had said in the mirror but hadn’t believed even yourself as your said the words out loud.
None of the practicing in the mirror could have prepared you for the sight of Michael in a suit.
Your Michael had always looked more at home, more comfortable in his scrubs. Like they were a second skin to him. While he would would throw his long sleeves during the winter up past his elbows. Always a coffee, or thermos in his hand while the other held the chart of a patient or ten.
Michale had also always looked constantly irritated, and forever exhausted. As if someone had personally taken it upon themselves to make sure that Michael Robinavitch never had a good day on shift.
But now, here at this wedding. Under the bouquet of different flowers, surrounded by people who were all watching and smiling at him. He looked peaceful, finally having met the calm that he was supposed to have. You suddenly couldn’t breathe, not with that thought in your head.
You had loved him for years in the ER, and you had just unfortunately gotten very used to just pretending that you didn’t. The music starts, and everyone stood because that was what you did. You watched as Michael looked down towards the doorway that was opening, and then you saw the insistent recognization in his eyes.
His face morphed in a matter of second, or at least it was enough that you noticed it. But when it came to Michael you noticed every thing about him. There was the slight widening of his eyes. The breath that all but been caught somewhere in his chest behind his ribs, and his throat.
You knew him, all to well. You knew exactly what that had meant, and you knew that you were just supposed to smile but it would have been fake. So you did the only thing you could, and turned around.
You made it all of three steps before you were hearing your name. Your cringed at the sound, and how the room had suddenly gone deathly silent. Then there were the loud, booming footsteps that were coming right for you.
“Wait!” Michaels voice rang out in the church. You closed your eyes, and took what you felt might be your last breath. Because of course, of course this is how this would go down. Your turned slowly on your heels. Michael was just standing a few feet away. His breathing was hard and all over the place. He looked completely dissolved.
“Michael.” You said looking him and then the crowd, the massive crowd of people behind him. “I know.” He mumbled, “You have a wedding going on right now.” Once again looking towards the crowd. “I know.” You shoulders dropped, “Are you sure, because right now you should probably be getting married.”
“I know that too.” He mumbled. Against everything going on around you, you almost laughed. Michaels hand run down his face. “I’ve been sittin’ here all morning trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me.” He tells you. “And?” You ask not understanding what the hell he’s going on about.
“And then you just walked right in.” Your heart dropped right into the pit of your stomach. Michael took another tentative step towards you. "“i’ve spent the past months wondering if I was… No. Telling myself that I was fine. That this was what I wanted to happen. That I was one hundred percent making the right choice.”
You swallow around nothing, throat going dry as you stare at Michael with an open mouth. “Michael, don’t do this right now.” You tried to reason with him, staring at him with sheer fear on your face. “I have to, or I’ll never feel right.” His voice cracking around just the edge. Nothing that scream dramatics.
You could feel it, the way that this came from someplace deep within him. It was just enough to have your chest aching uncomfortably. “I really should have something about this a long time ago.” You shook your head in defeat. “Please don’t do all of this because you saw me today.”
You begged him, “I’ve been doing all of this because I was scared that I was going to see you.” Michael admits to you, you’re frozen. Michael looks at you as if he’s finally far too tired to be speaking lies anymore “I loved you.” Michael says. You feel your eyes burn, and you roll your lips between together. Trying desperately to push away the tears that are building.
“Michael…” You whisper. “No, you’ve gotta let me finish. I need to say this.” He says determined to finish what he had started, or maybe hadn’t started. Michael takes a very shaken breath in, before continuing.
“I had loved you, I still love you. Just somewhere along lifes shit as road I had convinced myself that if I just kept moving forward, or in any other direction then you that I would eventually stop… loving you.” He lets out a humorless laugh one that seems to have bubbled up all by itself. “It just didn’t… work.”
You’re staring at him, and then remember that people are still here. The ceremony is still behind him. People are watching this happen, unfolding in real time. To you it seems like the entire world is watching and waiting for the next word to drop of his mouth.
“Michael you are supposed to be marrying someone else right now!” He nods, “I know that!” You run your hands down your face, smudging your mascara. “Then what the hell are you standing here in front of me for?” Confusion, and a tad bit of hurt in your expression.
“Cause I can’t marry someone else when I am standing up there wishing that it was you, and not her.” He points back in the direction of the alter not once taking his eyes off of you. Your breath gets caught once again in your throat. Michael takes the chance to take another step closer, inching further and further away from her and inching closer and closer to you.
“I don’t even know what’s going to happen after all of this blows over. I’m not even sure you’re going to forgive me, I don’t even know if I’ve already screwed things up beyond repair.” He mutters honestly to you. His eyes are soft, “I just knew that I wasn’t going to let you walk out of that door without telling you first. Maybe that’s selfish, but I just couldn’t do it.”
You look down at his polished shoes, and your toes that peak out of the heels you are wearing. “you waited… til your wedding day.” You mumble, “I told you I screwed this all up.” There’s the tiniest laugh that escapes from you even through the tears. Michael smiles halfway, and there it was.
That very familiar, crooked smile that had missed so much that you wanted to shout it from the roof tops of Pittsburgh. “Jesus, you’re an idiot, Michael.” You whisper, “Yeah, don’t I know it.”
“You should have told me, months ago.” You tell him, “Yeah I could have.” He mumbles staring down at his hands. “You could have called me.” He nods, “Or sent me a text.” You add, “I was going to…” He mumbles quietly. “When?” You asked pointedly.
He lets out a deep sigh, “Eventually… probably.” You laugh because of course it’s a Michael thing, you wipe the stray tear from under your eye. Michael takes your reaction and steps closer. He’s close enough now that you can feel the warmth radiating off of him. “I don’t want eventually anymore.” He whispers.
You look up at Michael. “So, what do you want Michael?” He answer is quick without a lick of hesitation on his words. “I want you.” It’s the most honest you’ve seen him be, the entire time you’ve known him. The word settle comfortably around you both, simple, also very terrifying, but also honest.
Michael holds his hand out to you. He isn’t demanding you to take his hand, not assumption that you will take it, it’s just an offering. You look at it for a long few second, and then you take it. Michaels long and callused fingers close around your immediately.
From behind him, the music as stopped, and someone is clearing their throat. Michael takes a quick glance over his shoulder, then back at you with raised brows. “I’m thinkin’ this might be a very awkward conversation.” You smile unable to hold it back. “You might be right.”
“You still wanna come with me?” He asks, you squeeze his hand giving him your answer without the words. Michael exhales a breath that he had been holding onto for a long while now. “Good.” He leans down and presses his forehead into yours. “I really shoulda done this sooner.” You laugh, “Yeah you really should have.” You say in agreement “I know.” “And just so you know you are never living this down.”
“Oh don’t I know it.” He mumbles, you smile and for once Michael doesn’t have a single thing to say back.