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Batman sat at the batcomputer arguing with himself. He had a conundrum.
The situation: A group of cultists in Gotham had managed to open a portal to the afterlife. While it had not been open for very long, it had apparently weakened the veil enough that natural portals were opening frequently and ghosts from the Infinite Realms were coming through and causing problems. This in of itself was not the source of Bruce’s conundrum.
Batman’s conundrum was that he knew exactly who he could go to for resources to fight these ghosts, but he really, REALLY didn’t want to. Because they were psycho.
About fifteen years ago Bruce Wayne had had a once night stand with a pair of swingers he had met at a science convention. If he had realized what they researched and their ideals he wouldn’t have touched them with a ten foot pole. Look, it wasn’t that Bruce didn’t believe in the supernatural, it was that he didn’t believe that all supernaturals were inherently evil and ought to be wiped out. And that wasn’t even touching on the fact that the doctors had once implied that they would vivisect a ghost if they ever caught one. So no, Batman would only contact the Doctor’s Fenton about Gotham’s newest ghost problem if he had no other choice.
Unfortunately for Bruce Wayne, he was still in contact with the Fenton’s. That one night stand had produced a pregnancy, and with Jack being infertile it was almost a guarantee that the child was Bruce’s. A paternity test later confirmed that he was Daniel’s father. They had all come to an agreement that the Fenton’s would raise him till he was fifteen, at which point they would tell Daniel about Bruce and give him the option to move in with him. In the meantime Bruce paid a handsome child support and when Daniel turned twelve he started to send him a generous allowance.
This whole ordeal was why he started supplying his own condoms for his sex life. He would have to be an idiot as to not think that the Fentons’ hadn’t used him. This was also why Talia had to drug him to create Damian. (he wasn’t nearly as surprised by Damian’s existence as he pretended to be) He’d had a vasectomy ages ago.
But I digress. Point is, Batman wasn’t calling the Fentons’ unless it was absolutely necessary. Instead he called literally anyone else.
“Well you got yourself a right bloody problem is what you’ve got,” Constantine said as he smoked a cigarette. The magician had caught one of the errant ghosts in some kind of demon circle. It was a rabbit the size of a st bernard and was actually one of the relatively harmless ones.
Constantine went on. “Now normally a rift like the one you had would heal all on its own really well. Like a clean papercut. Wouldn’t even scar. But between the multiple curses and the fucking lazarus pit that’s under the city there’s enough spiritual energy to keep the natural portals forming for a hundred years.”
Batman grunted. “We don’t have a hundred years, and I’m not willing to use weapons designed to cause as much pain as possible.” He had read the research papers behind the Fentons’ weapons. Much like consulting them on the case, buying their weapons wasn’t an option either. Damian would never forgive him.
Constantine blew a smoke ring before answering. “Luckily for you I have an answer. There’s a creature called an ammit. It’s from egyptian folklore. They eat these kinds of ghosts. Natural predators they are. Will even chase the more troublesome ones out of its territory. If you can find one and bring it to Gotham it will keep the ghost population down enough that they won't cause too many problems.”
While this solution was arguably better than calling the Fentons’, he now ran the risk of Damian trying to adopt an ammit. He thought of the last conversation he had with Jack and Maddie. “Do you know where I can find one?” he asked.
“Little place called Amity Park. There’s actually two there who are fighting over territory. Three if you include the fact that one of them just had a baby. You’d actually be doing the people there a favor if you moved one of them here.”
Batman didn’t outwardly flinch but internally he groaned. Looks like he was talking to Jack and Maddie afterall.
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“Aww, cheer up Bruce. Maybe now you can convince Danny to come live with us.” Dick said cheerfully over video chat. Bruce knew that he had been in a mood when Jack and Maddie had informed him that Danny had wanted nothing to do with him. Not even to meet him. Bruce was seriously regretting the decision to let Danny grow up a normal life.
Tim piped up from the screen. “And even if he still doesn’t want a relationship, at least you’ll have closure.” Tim and Barbara had been the only ones to know about his hidden son before Danny’s rejection and Bruce’s bad mood. The little stalkers.
Damian scoffed from the seat next to him. There was no way that Bruce could have gotten away with going to pick up a dangerous and exotic animal and not bringing his youngest son. “That is not as comforting reassurance as you seem to think it is Drake.” Damian had taken the news of a new blood sibling surprisingly well. The table could be replaced.
Jason’s tinny voice cackled through. He was currently Red Hood and was using his voice modulator. “Still can’t believe we’re giving the old man a pep talk. You have like, seven kids who occasionally hate you. You know how to talk to kids who hate you.”
“You got this,” Duke said.
Tim spoke again. “Jack and Maddie Fenton have a file on the batcomputer as possible super villains.”
“Goddammit Bruce not again!” said two of his children at the same time followed by a “Really Father?” Bruce was beginning to agree with Damian’s assessment on Tim’s ability to provide comfort.
A few hours later the private jet landed in Amity Park and Bruce picked up the nicest rental car the company could provide, which was a lexus convertible. (He happened to know that the company had had the car driven in from Chicago just for him) During the drive to the hotel Bruce mused on the Fenton’s. A comment Jason had made got him thinking that maybe the Fenton’s had lied about Daniel’s reaction to the news that Bruce was his father, maybe even going so far as to not tell Daniel about him at all, in order to continue to collect his child support checks. It was certainly in line with the doctors’ previous behavior. Hence why Bruce was coming to see Daniel in person.
Being in town to procure a ammit was a bonus.
Once they were settled in the hotel Robin trotted off happily with pockets full of cat treats to see if he could find the ammit’s nest. This was highly preferable to Damian coming with him to the Fenton’s to talk to Danny.
Bruce decided one last time to procrastinate going to the Fenton’s by opening his email to read over their last email. To his surprise, there was an email from Jasmine, the Fenton’s elder daughter.
Dear Mister Wayne,
I hope I have the right person, and if not I apologize for the intrusion, but I believe you are my brother’s biological father. I have spent the past few weeks trying to find more about you.
To summarize, our Uncle Vlad Masters has been abusing Danny behind all of our backs, and somehow that abuse has resulted in a baby girl, Danny’s daughter. Our parents kicked him out when he tried to tell them about Vlad and he’s currently living at his friend's house with Ellie.
I’m writing to you because Uncle Vlad has been trying to get custody of Danny, and he’s panicking. He told me in private that he would rather live on the streets than live with Vlad and I’m worried that he is deadly serious. Danny’s phone has been disconnected so please call me at ***-***-**** and I can tell you more.
Regards, Jasmine Fenton
Bruce immediately forwarded the email to Oracle and his lawyers. Both of them would immediately know what to do. Then before doing anything else, he sat down for a good panic.
Reasons to panic:
His son had been kicked out of his home and had apparently been homeless for a few weeks. He would have to be sure to compensate this friend for housing him.
He was a grandfather. Enough said.
He now had beef with Vlad Masters. A man that was suspected of being able to use some kind of mind control but this couldn’t be proven.
He had a grandchild. Did he mention that?
Just as he was really beginning to spiral his lawyer called him, told him to not go to the Fenton’s, to communicate only by email, and to call him back once he met Daniel. Right. Daniel wasn’t even at the Fentons. Pulling out his phone he sent a text to Jasmine.
B: This is Bruce Wayne. I just got your email
She texted back almost right away before he got the chance to send anything else.
Jasmine: can’t talk rn
Were at the store buyin formula and diapers
Danny says hi
B: Daniel’s bank account should be enough to cover diapers but let me know if it’s not enough and I’ll venmo you
Jasmine: Danny doenst have a bank account
And parents cut off his allowance months ago
My venmo is **********
Before he could get even more angry with the Fentons he venmoed Jasmine what he thought should not only cover this supply trip but any previous one they might have taken. Then he went online to the joint account that was meant for Danny. It still had activity. He sent an alert for fraud and froze the account. It looked like Jason had been right. Not only had Jack and Maddie been collecting child support when Danny wasn’t even there, they had been collecting the bulk of his allowance as well. His lawyers were going to throw an absolute raver over this.
B: Tell him I say hi as well
Give me the address where he’s staying and I’ll meet you there
Once Jasmine gave him the address he did not head straight there. Instead he headed to the mall and found a baby store where he was quickly overwhelmed by the plethora of options. In a panic he called one of his secretaries who had a baby last year. After gushing in joy she was able to guide him to get a few gifts without knowing Ellie’s age. They got a duck sensory blanket, a stuffed tuxedo cat, and a book about animal noises. He got some gift bags and finally headed out to meet his son and his granddaughter.
But when he got there he just sat in the driveway frozen in fear. Normally his anxiety was well managed by having contingencies. He always planned for everything long in advance so that he was always prepared but nothing could have prepared him for this. Danny just barely turned 15. There was absolutely no reason to plan a contingency for him having a baby. That was for when he was 16 at least. Bruce was about to go in completely in the dark and he hated it. His normally well controlled anxiety was spinning out of control.
There was still time for Danny to hate him after all.
For the second time that day his downward spiral was interrupted by his phone. It was a message from Dick. First congratulating him on being a grandfather. He was going to have to speak with Barbara about privacy. The second message was a reminder to not be Batman or his Brucie persona, but to just be the normal dad they all knew he could be. Before he could send a response the front door of the house opened. A girl with long red hair he recognized as Jasmine came out and walked over to the car.
“Are you going to sit out here panicking or are you going to come in?” she asked with a soft smile.
“What makes you think I’m panicking?” he asked back defensively.
“There’s no shame in panicking. In fact it’s very expected of someone in your position.” she said matter of factly.
Just then his phone started going off with message after message. He checked it to see the family group chat blowing up. He silenced it and put it away. “Family chat,” he said. “I’ll answer them later.” Then he made a show of taking a fortifying breath, grabbed his gifts, and got out of the car. He noticed how her face both brightened and relaxed when she saw the gift bags that were obviously baby themed. She didn’t say anything but Bruce wasn’t an expert in body language for nothing. Buying gifts had been the right choice.
There were a few things he had expected when walking through the door, Danny waiting with Ellie being among them. Mr. or Mrs. Foley perhaps (Oracle had sent a quick background check). Maybe the usual mess that all houses with small children seemed to have. What he was not expecting was to find Damian lying on the floor with who he assumed was Ellie as if nothing was wrong in the world.
“Hello Father,” he greeted plainly, as if he had been here all day.
Don’t be Brucie, don’t be Batman. “How did you get here before me?” he asked, genuinely confused.
He only smirked. Bruce heaved a weary sigh and would’ve pinched his nose if he hadn’t been carrying gifts.
A voice spoke up from the couch. “It was his sacred duty as the younger sibling to come and annoy me.” Oh, there was Danny.
Damian continued without missing a beat. “And I am well versed in being the youngest sibling. That and I must secure my place as the favorite uncle.” Usually Damian’s definition of being a younger sibling involved a lot of stabbing. The fact that Danny seemed unbothered about him being so close to Ellie was indicative that that hadn’t happened. The part about being the favorite Bruce could believe, Damian was very competitive.
“As long as I still get to be the favorite aunt I don’t mind sharing the position with you,” Jasmine said, perhaps a little naively.
“I find this acceptable, but you will have stiff competition from Cassandra,” Damien replied.
Bruce finally moved into the living room and stood awkwardly in front of his son. Danny didn’t really look at all like Bruce. Instead he looked like a carbon copy of his mother only with Bruce’s coloring. Bruce already knew this from having seen pictures of him growing up, but it was still new to see it in person. He awkwardly set the gifts down in front of him. “Um… these are for you and Ellie.”
“Thanks,” Danny said, not reaching for them yet. “You probably figured out that I never knew you existed. Our parents always told us I was from a donor.”
Bruce winced. “I don’t think they really lied about that. From their perspective that’s all I was.” he told him.
Danny winced too. “Yeah, I can see them doing that.” He finally picked up the gifts and they opened them together. Danny put Ellie on the duck sensory blanket where she immediately became enamored with some of the ribbons. The tuxedo cat in particular made him smile.
After that they got to talking. Bruce found out that Danny had dropped out of school to take care of Ellie. Mr. and Mrs. Foley both worked and his grades were trashed anyway was his excuse. Danny was willing to admit that Vlad had been abusing him but refused to go into any details other than that he was hit frequently. Bruce assured him that they didn’t need details to keep Master’s from getting custody. Bruce being the bio father would be enough. His lawyers had worked with less.
He was however interested to know that Vlad was in love with Maddie. It explained the man's obsession with Danny. Batman had been involved in multiple sex abuse cases and just as many sex trafficking cases. He had several hypotheses for how Ellie came to be. Each one darker than the last.
Inevitably, the conversation turned to ghosts. Bruce was delighted to learn that neither of the children shared their insane parents' opinions, firmly believing that ghosts were sentient.
“Phantom especially has been shown to be highly intelligent. Although I suppose her name is Jolene now.” Jazz mused.
“How was the name Jolene chosen?” Damien asked.
Jazz gave a short laugh. “The students at Casper High had a poll and sent it to the local news and they just accepted it. She’s named after the Dolly Parton song. Her baby was named Mochi since we don’t know if it's a boy or a girl.” she said.
Damian nodded sagely. “Dolly Parton of the Imagination Library. She should be honoured to have such a name. Perhaps Jolene and Mochi will be the ones to be brought back to Gotham.”
Danny froze like he did every time him going to Gotham was mentioned. “Why would Jolene and Mochi go to Gotham?” he asked slowly.
And so they explained about the what the cult had done in Gotham, the tears to the infinite realms, and Batman’s announcement to the city that he was securing an ammit to naturally control the ghost population.
Jazz was delighted to learn this, as it was common knowledge that Wisconsin, the local male, frequently fought with and injured Jolene. She even shared her theory that he had forced himself on Jolene to father Mochi. She thought it would be good for them to be separated.
Danny was oddly still during this. Bruce figured that this hit a little too close to his situation. After a while though he said quietly. “I’ll bet Jolene is sick and tired of the abuse and will go with with Batman willingly. All he has to do is ask nicely.”
After that the ghost portal got mentioned and Bruce realized that Batman would have to visit the Dr’s Fenton afterall.