Work Text:
1
Jungwon has liked Jay since he was old enough to know what crushes were. Which is to say, since they were kids.
And at the ripe age of 22, he still cannot bring himself to confess.
He's spent countless days and nights with Jay, countless sleepovers where Jay insisted they slept on the same bed and Jungwon pretended his body wasn't on fire the whole night, countless birthdays where Jay insisted he sit next to Jungwon while he blows out his candles, countless family gatherings at Jay's house where Jungwon was treated like a second son.
Jay is the best friend Jungwon has ever had and there is nothing he will do to compromise that.
Except maybe attempting to confess tonight at a party after being egged on by Sunoo all evening.
“I'm telling you Jungwonie, he likes you. Someone's gotta make the first move,” Sunoo all but yells from his spot in front of Jungwon’s mirror where he's busy messing with a can of hair spray and a dream.
“Does it have to be me?” Jungwon asks from his desk, smoothing out the crumpled up paper where he'd scribbled down some semblance of a confession.
Sunoo sighs. “All I'm saying is, it's been, what, 10 years? It's bordering on pathetic.”
“Ouch.” Jungwon crumples up the piece of paper again and throws it in the trash. “I don't know. Let's just go and we'll see.”
“We all know what that's code for,” Sunoo mutters but doesn't elaborate and Jungwon doesn't want him to.
He's still sceptical about confessing. Sure, if there's a one percent chance that Jay likes him back, everything will turn out great and they'll live happily ever after. But, if the more likely situation happens and Jay rejects him, he'll have compromised the best friendship he's ever had, all for a stupid one-sided crush. It's not worth it. He'd rather crush on Jay unrequitedly for the rest of his life than lose him completely.
“Should we Uber? I don't want to be designated driver,” Sunoo says, finally putting down the hair spray and grabbing his jacket.
“Yeah.” Jungwon pockets his phone and opens his closet to pick out a jacket too. “I'm gonna need a little liquid courage if I'm gonna do this.”
Jungwon is sick of the party half an hour in.
Literally and mentally.
He does a couple shots with his friends to pass the time and warm up, plays an amateur game of beer pong, then receives yet another drink from someone passing them around.
Another half hour and he still wants to leave.
The party is boring, sweaty and loud, and the drink he was handed is stronger than anticipated because now Jungwon is slurring his words and leaning his head on Jay's shoulder, the one good thing that came out of this function.
“I can take you home if you're not feeling well, Jungwonie,” Jay says, taking a sip from his own red solo cup, which must be non-alcoholic since he drove here.
Jungwon sits up and looks at Jay who's already got his eyes on him.
It's there on the floor of this random living room he'd like to escape that Jungwon notices the faint dimples on Jay's cheeks when he smiles, sculpting his smooth skin in such a pretty way that Jungwon wants to trace them with his fingers.
He refrains though.
“You’re a good friend, Jay-hyung,” he drawls instead, testing the waters.
Jay's grin widens in response and he rests a hand on Jungwon's shoulder. “I can't let my best friend suffer.”
Jungwon's smile fades—or at least he thinks so, he's not in full control of his face muscles. Of course he's just a friend to him. It was foolish to ever even consider an alternative.
Even more foolishly, Jungwon feels the back of his eyes burn. He'd rather get alcohol poisoning than let Jay see him cry because of this so he slowly gets up, excusing himself to run to the bathroom.
He pushes past a crowd of people drinking and dancing, stumbling on some of them in his rush to let the tears fall in a private space.
Finally in the bathroom, Jungwon cries before he even realizes it, the tears falling down his cheeks but he barely feels them as he slides down to the cold floor against the bathroom door.
Instead, he reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket that he hadn't taken off the whole night, pulling out the One Wish Willow he'd bought the week before as a joke.
Sunoo and he had wandered into this odd shop with all that spiritual stuff, crystals, tarot cards and whatnot. Sunoo went off by himself to buy some pretty crystal necklace, leaving Jungwon to browse the strange shop.
When he saw the shelf with the One Wish Willows, he almost brushed it off, but then he backtracked. Paused. You only get one wish. Amaze your friends!
What the hell, he thought. It's so cheap he might as well get it so he can pretend it gives him a little courage.
Sunoo laughed when he saw it and said something about maybe getting one for himself.
It's been sitting in Jungwon's pocket since then, waiting for a moment when his entire world fails around him and this dumb stick is the only thing that can pretend to grant him some semblance of luck.
Slightly inebriated and stupidly sad, Jungwon rips open the packaging and holds the stick in his hands.
He feels his phone buzz in his pocket but he ignores it, feeling too dazed to send a normal message to anyone right now.
The instructions are simple: Make a wish and break the stick in half. Easy as pie.
Life can't get worse after this, anyway. Jungwon doesn't waste a second.
“I wish Park Jay loved me more than anyone in the world.”
He breaks the stick in half after he utters the words and waits for a few seconds. For what, he doesn't know. Maybe for Jay to storm into this bathroom and declare his love for him. Maybe for the ceiling to fall down and kill him. Either way, he stays disappointed. Nothing happens, of course. Why would something happen?
His phone buzzes annoyingly again and he finally pulls it out of his pocket as he stands up from his pathetic pity party on the floor.
jay :)
23:36
where are u?
you've been gone so long already TT
23:45
i’ll send out a search party if you're not back here in five mins
JUNGWONNNNN
Jungwon returns to the living room to find Jay on the couch frantically typing on his phone, but he looks up immediately when Jungwon shows up, as if he senses his presence.
“There you are,” he yells over the buzzing music and gets up. “I thought you were throwing up somewhere.”
“Nah, I think I sobered up a bit,” Jungwon responds, although he still feels his head a little heavy.
Jay's hand finds Jungwon's shoulder to be at eye level and he stares at him like he's going to will the drunkenness out of him. “Let me take you home?”
Despite himself, despite the tears he spilled in secret, despite the pathetic wish he just made, Jungwon smiles. “Yes, please.”
The drive is quiet for all but four minutes.
Jay breaks the silence as is natural for him to do in every and any situation.
“Did you have fun?” he asks, eyes focused on the road, occasionally stealing a glance at Jungwon who's leaning his head against the window, watching the streetlights illuminating the empty streets, save for a few people wandering aimlessly at this ungodly hour.
He shrugs his shoulders in response. “It was fine.”
“Come on,” Jay whines, though a hint of a smile is evident on his lips. “I'd argue hanging out with me should be the highlight of your day.”
If only he knew.
“Just ‘cause we hung out doesn't mean the party was fire,” Jungwon argues, leaning his head on the other side to look at Jay.
There is a short pause, barely there, but Jungwon notices it, a pause to think, to calculate, before Jay speaks. “Next time let's ditch the party and do something else alone.”
In that moment, Jungwon feels less pathetic than he's felt the whole night. Instead, he feels a slight glimmer of hope, happiness even. Maybe the wish didn't pan out, but there is still hope for Jungwon to make it work.
“Sure, Jay-hyung. Sounds good.”
They arrive at Jungwon's house shortly after that and Jungwon hopes his face isn't too flushed when he waves goodbye to Jay and shuts the car door, and he hopes the alcohol still in his system doesn't make him hallucinate what he sees in Jay's eyes as he watches Jungwon go up to the front door—something soft, warm even. Something worth following up on.
Jungwon isn't even two steps into his building when his phone buzzes in his pocket.
jay :)
00:17
did u get inside alright?
u literally watched me get inside
better safe than sorry :)
yes im inside
thanks for the ride
and for ditching the party for me
you're far better company than anyone at that party
sleep well, jungwonie
2
Jungwon hates being sick.
It's gross, it's tiring, it's boring and it's annoying. And of course it happens to him on the most inconvenient week when he has back to back shifts at the café and a hundred plans to attend.
He's been dreading this week since his older coworker announced she’d be taking some days off to attend her son's graduation then graduation party then graduation dinner then graduation after-party or whatever the fuck. So he had to pick up more shifts, even though he was planning on taking days off himself to help his family with some renovations they were in the middle of.
But now he has escaped the shackles of overtime and familial responsibilities, leaving the others to pick up the pieces while he rots in bed with a spiking fever and a cough that refuses to go away.
He's halfheartedly scrolling on his phone when a text comes in.
jay :)
15:03
hey ik u have a lot on ur plate but do u wanna get dinner later
I'm dying to escape from the office
sorry jay-hyung
i got sick
fever and everything
oh no what
did u catch a bug from someone
maybe
either way im sorry i can't come to dinner :(
Jay stops responding after that. Great. Another opportunity with Jay screwed up because of Jungwon's dumb immune system.
He decides then that he's going to spend the day wallowing in his pity next to a mountain of tissue packets, a thermometer, medicine and three water bottles (he gathered everything he'll possibly need so he doesn't have to get up from the bed at all).
His plan works for about an hour but then he gets hungry and realizes he doesn't have any ingredients to make something sick-appropriate.
As he is weighing his options—ordering in or starving to death—the doorbell rings.
Wow. Did someone magically see his suffering and decided to send a miracle meal?
With great effort, he gets up and all but drags himself to the door, not abandoning his blanket (he feels like Snape from Harry Potter dramatically dragging his cloak) only to find Jay standing there.
“Jay-hyung?” His tone laced with confusion, Jungwon takes in Jay's state; still in his work clothes, ironed shirt and black pants, hair perfectly intact, as opposed to Jungwon's mess of a bed head, and holding two plastic bags. “What are you doing here?”
Jay steps in without invitation—not that Jungwon would refuse him—takes his shoes off and sets the bags on the kitchen table, leaving Jungwon to follow him dumbly, still awaiting an explanation.
“I brought you medicine and food. Well, I brought ingredients. I'll make the food now,” he explains as he unpacks everything. When Jungwon doesn't answer, Jay turns to him. “How are you feeling?”
“Confused?” Jungwon states but it comes off as a question. He steals a glance at the clock on the wall. “Your work day isn't over.”
Jay turns back to the bags and Jungwon swears he sees the faintest pink tainting his ears. “So?”
Jungwon shakes his head, half in confusion, half in exasperation, but that makes the headache worse so he stops. “You can't just blow off your job.”
“It's nothing.” Jay finally looks at Jungwon again, taking him in. “You look like shit. Clearly I did well by coming here.”
Jungwon is silent for a moment, trying to comprehend what is happening.
Jay, his best friend Jay, his long time crush Jay, left work early at the risk of, well, his job, to nurse Jungwon back to health. He even intends to cook for him instead of just bringing takeout.
Jay is doing all this.
Jay, who can by no means like Jungwon back. Jay, who refers to Jungwon as his best friend all the time. They're friends. A friend would do all this, right?
Jungwon finally finds his voice again. “Thank you,” he mutters. “It's really nice of you.”
Jay's lips curl into a smile. “You can thank me by getting better. Go back to bed while I make you soup. Have you taken any medicine for the fever?”
Jungwon picks up the empty discarded box from earlier off the table and Jay sighs. “That's no good. Don't worry, I brought all the good stuff. Now get out of my sight,” he commands with narrow eyes and Jungwon mock-salutes before heading back to his room.
Still with a hazy mind, still with a headache, a runny nose and a spiking fever, Jungwon lays in bed with a smile, eagerly awaiting homemade healing soup.
Maybe being sick isn't so bad after all.
3
Jay has been so slammed at work lately that Jungwon hasn't seen him, has barely texted him. So, when Sunoo arranges a group hangout and everyone says yes, Jungwon is relieved, and secretly very excited, when Jay texts he can make it.
They meet at a newly opened restaurant with fancy menus and warm lighting, scanning the different options and bickering already, as per usual.
Jungwon is sitting on the bench side of the table, squished between Jay and Sunoo, although the squishing seems to be coming more from Jay's side rather than Sunoo’s.
Jungwon is looking over the noodles options when he notices out of the corner of his eye Jay peeking at his menu too, as though he doesn't have one of his own. Who's Jungwon to point it out?
“You should get this,” Jay says lowly—Jungwon wouldn't catch it if he didn't say it in his ear—pointing to an item on the list. “It looks like something you'd like.”
Jungwon looks up at him and Jay looks perfectly casual; arm lying on the bench behind them, hair falling on his face as he's looking at the menu, occasionally nudging Jungwon's side subconsciously.
Jay is Jungwon's best friend. Of course he knows what he typically likes and is fit to make recommendations. Jungwon would like to think more of it, but he's almost certain it's nothing, so he doesn't.
“Yeah, it looks good.”
Jungwon closes the menu, discarding it in the middle where Sunghoon and Heeseung have left theirs after deciding, and leans back on the bench, his back briefly making contact with Jay's arm before Jay repositions himself more comfortably. Sunoo turns abruptly, eyes falling on Jungwon, then Jay, then Jungwon's back—he thinks?—then Jungwon again.
Jungwon thinks he hears him mutter “Interesting,” but his hunger-affected ears could be playing tricks on him.
Later, when the insane amount of food they consumed leaves them barely able to breathe, they decide to walk around to digest more easily.
Sunoo is walking ahead of everyone, skipping even though he's on the verge of throwing up, Heeseung and Jake are talking about a new game behind him, completely ignoring everyone around them, and Sunghoon and Riki are making fun of Sunoo from far behind where he can't hear them.
Jungwon is walking with Jay, silently for once, as Jay looks around at every shop they pass by as if it's his first time in the city.
Jungwon doesn't mind. He's content with just walking side by side, as long as they exist next to each other in some way. Friends or not.
The One Wish Willow is what comes to his mind at that moment—how foolish he was to ever think a silly wish would work and change everything. And if it had worked? Who knows if it would be what Jungwon wanted. Who knows if Jay would be the same, or his personality would fully change to meet his wish.
“Jungwon-ah.”
Jungwon is pulled out of his own mind by Jay calling at him. He's stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, a faint smile on his face as he points behind him; an ice cream parlor.
Jungwon feels his stomach ready to burst, but you never say no to ice cream.
Jay pushes open the door to the store but not before Sunoo catches up.
“I want ice cream too,” he complains, overtaking Jungwon and walking into the store.
“Yo, don't get ice cream without us,” Jake shouts, finally done with his deep conversation with Heeseung.
Everyone follows, hogging the shop as they look for flavors and tell the overwhelmed cashier their orders.
Jungwon decides on a simple chocolate and he fishes out his phone to order and pay, when Jay speaks in his ear, startling him.
“What do you want?” he asks, causing Jungwon to almost bump into Riki.
“I'm getting chocolate,” Jungwon replies, waiting his turn at the cashier.
Jay shakes his head once, then gently pushes Jungwon's phone from his hand. “I'll get it.”
Jungwon frowns. “You'll get everyone's ice cream?”
“Shh, don't give them ideas,” he hisses, lightly hitting Jungwon's shoulder. “I'll get yours.”
“You don't have to, Jay-hyung.”
“Shut up. I want to,” Jay says before pushing past Jungwon and stealing his place in line with no intention of giving it back.
Jungwon just stands there dumbfounded, and maybe even blushing a little.
By then, Sunoo has finished ordering so he joins Jungwon with a cup of mint chocolate ice cream in his hand and a smile that not even world peace could bring.
“Are you not getting anything?” he asks, noticing Jungwon's empty hands.
“Jay-hyung’s getting me chocolate.”
Sunoo visibly pauses, plastic spoon halfway to his mouth, and he looks from Jungwon to Jay reciting his order, then back to Jungwon. “You're joking.”
Jungwon shakes his head, a little embarrassed about Sunoo making this a big deal—because he can't treat it like a big deal. It's nothing. Jay is just getting him and no one else ice cream. They're close like that. Probably. It's nothing big. It can't be anything big.
“Interesting,” Sunoo mutters for the second time that evening. “Very interesting.”
When Jay returns to hand Jungwon his ice cream, Jungwon notices Heeseung giving them a look too, followed by Riki—but nobody speaks. They just share a knowing glance, leaving Jungwon out of their scheming. He doesn't want in anyway. Because whatever they're thinking, they're wrong. They must be.
4
February 14th is a stupid made-up holiday. It only benefits businesses that add a week-long red or pink menu item only to profit from lovestruck teenagers.
Jungwon harbors a deep dislike for Valentine's day, not because it's only for show or because he doesn't receive any cards (he's gotten his fair share of them), but because Jay gets piles of cards and endless confessions in his phone every year without fail.
In middle school, girls would sneak a chocolate bar in his locker or on his desk when he wasn't looking—it always put a smile on his face and he shared the chocolate with Jungwon.
In high school, girls (and boys, sometimes) would come up with creative ways to confess, creating posters or performing a dance number of the latest trending song, but some would just ask him straight-up. Jay didn't care so much by then, but usually he would strike up a conversation with whoever confessed to be nice and appreciate their effort. Jungwon never understood why he never pursued any of them—they were nice and pretty, like Jay.
Even now, people from high school still try to shoot their shot every February, and even some people from work get bold on that one day, as if it's a magic day with no consequences.
When Jungwon meets Jay for coffee at the end of the work day, he expects him to pull out a stack of love letters and a bag of chocolates gathered from the day. He's surprised when Jay sets both their coffees on the table and rests his head on his hand with a big sigh, no Valentine's day evidence in sight. Except, Jungwon realizes too late, the new paper cups adorned with a pink and white design full of hearts and bows.
“What's wrong?” Jungwon asks, using the straw to stir his drink before taking a sip, promptly ignoring the Valentine's theme on the cup.
“Difficult day. Two people called in sick so everything fell on me. I don't even have that much of an important role!” he complains, finally getting his hands on his drink and taking a sip too. “And I thought I had nepo baby privileges.”
Jungwon almost spits out his drink at that, caught off guard. But he still wonders how this is the complaint Jay has about the day, and not something about how many confessions he received today.
“Guess they wanted to spend Valentine's day with no work.” Jungwon shrugs, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
Jay looks up from his cup without raising his head, gaze settling on Jungwon like a predator decided on its prey. Unnerving.
“That’s a dumb reason to call off work.” He raises the cup to his lips, taking a small sip before continuing. “Anyway, did you do anything for Valentine's?”
“Me?” Jungwon points to himself, as if it isn't obvious, surprise taking over. “No. I think this new kid I've been training might have been hinting at something but we were so swamped I couldn't possibly entertain that,” he reveals, even though he almost forgot about that. Too little time in between customers and too many thoughts of Jay will do that.
Jay's shoulders slump just slightly, but enough for Jungwon to notice.
“Would you have let him confess, then?” he asks, eyes set on Jungwon's, voice too low.
“Nah,” Jungwon says, not wanting Jay to get the wrong idea. Even if Jay doesn't like him like that, there is no reason for him to believe Jungwon is pursuing other people.
“So,” Jay starts again, fiddling with his cup. “You didn't send anyone anything?”
“Like what, a love letter?” Jungwon laughs. “I think I'm a little old for that, Jay-hyung.”
Jay shrugs. “Love letters are timeless. But, still. No one to confess to?”
Jungwon frowns. Why is Jay so persistent? Does he want Jungwon to start dating? Does he so desperately want some Valentine's day content? Or maybe he wants Jungwon off his back so he can comfortably date without having to worry about splitting his time between a partner and his best friend.
“I don't think so.” A pause. Then, before Jungwon can chicken out, “You?”
Jay pauses too. His gaze travels from Jungwon's eyes down to his coffee cup, then back up to his eyes. He doesn't respond immediately, but when he does, Jungwon gets a big pile of false hope.
“Maybe.”
5
The beach is mostly empty at this time of year and that's what Jungwon treasures the most.
When Jake suggested they go swimming on the weekend, Jungwon was the first to say yes, absolutely ready to make the best of the warm weather they were having lately.
Everyone else agreed quickly too, in need of a break in the midst of their too-adult lives, which is how they found themselves playing a weird and complicated ball game Riki invented on the spot in the water.
Jungwon lost the plot many rounds ago—he is just going based on vibes now. But he remembers to pass the ball when he has to and the ridiculousness of the game brings out many laughs out of everyone.
Many rounds and plenty of teasing everyone for their unique way of throwing the ball later, Jungwon announces that he's going back to their stuff to take a sip of the iced tea he brought and take a small break—it might not seem like it, but playing in the ocean is actually tiring. Great exercise, though.
The sand sticks to his feet uncomfortably and Jungwon already misses the water, but his thirst is pulling him to the towels they laid down earlier and he plops down, the sun hitting his skin just enough so he doesn’t freeze after abandoning the cool water.
The first sip of iced tea feels heavenly—thankfully Heeseung brought a cooler bag so the drinks are still cold—making Jungwon drop his head back and sigh in content. Simple moments like this are always comforting in the midst of the everyday chaos.
From the ocean, Sunoo waves happily before getting hit in the head with the ball by Sunghoon, causing Jungwon to spit out his drink in laughter.
He sits in silence for a moment, enjoying the peace (debatable) and the light energy of the day. However, that peace (again, debatable with Jay and Jake wrestling in the water) is soon disturbed by a sudden shadow appearing at Jungwon's feet and a body blocking his view of the water.
He looks up and is met with a boy, his dark hair dripping water into the sand near Jungwon's feet and shading him from the sun.
He's not bad-looking, but Jungwon subconsciously darts his eyes to the water where Jay has Jake in a headlock, avoiding the shirtless guy in front of him until he speaks.
“Hi,” he says, running a hand through his hair, looking a little awkward.
Jungwon shifts a little in his seat, not having expected company. “Oh, hi.”
The guy looks away for a moment, letting out an awkward laugh, seemingly having no idea what he's doing either. “Uh, sorry, I don't mean to bother you, I just saw you from over there,” he explains, vaguely pointing to a spot with laid down towels and bags. “You, um, you're really pretty,” he manages, mostly stuttering.
Jungwon is taken aback, not having expected this today at all. It's a nice compliment, of course, coming from a pretty good-looking guy too, but that's about all Jungwon thinks of it.
“Oh! Wow, thank you,” Jungwon laughs, not sure how to proceed.
“Sure,” the guy mutters, his gaze darting all over the place. “I'm Jaehyun.” He extends his hand and Jungwon takes it, offering his own name.
“Look, Jaehyun–” Jungwon starts, preparing mentally to let Jaehyun down politely, when a new voice sounds from behind.
“Jungwon-ah, are you coming back in?” Jay appears out of thin air behind Jaehyun, startling the poor guy.
“Uh–”
“Come on, I want you to be my partner for chicken fights.” Jay crouches to pull Jungwon up by the arm, not sparing Jaehyun a glance.
“Okay, chill, Jay-hyung,” Jungwon says, getting up on his own free will and turning to Jaehyun who's watching with almost terrified eyes. “I'm sorry, I gotta–”
“No, no, it's okay.” Jaehyun waves dismissively. “It was nice to meet you.”
Jay pulls Jungwon away before he gets to say it back, dragging him to the water with the determination of a soldier on a mission.
“Hyung, what the hell?” Jungwon pulls himself free from Jay's grip, stopping to face him, feeling the sand stick uncomfortably to his bare feet yet again.
“What? You were gonna miss out on the game.” Jay shrugs as if it's nothing, as if he didn't just completely disregard a perfectly normal social interaction Jungwon was in the middle of.
“Well, be more normal next time. I was talking to that guy.”
Jay scoffs. “Were you going to get his number?”
Jungwon pauses, wanting to test the waters. Jay wouldn't care if Jungwon got another guy's number, would he?
“Maybe I was.”
“Sure, Jungwon,” Jay says dismissively, continuing walking to the ocean. “He wasn't your type, anyway.”
Jungwon scrambles to follow, his brain in a whirlwind because what the hell is Jay talking about? “How do you know what my type is?” he asks, feet finally hitting the cool water and washing the gross sand off.
“I've known you forever. I've seen every crush you've had and every boy you've dated. That guy was not going to be another addition to the list.” Jay places a hand on Jungwon's shoulder, pushing him deeper into the water. “Now, come on. Get on.”
And as Sunoo settles on Sunghoon’s shoulders and he eggs Jungwon on to get on Jay's, Jungwon silently spirals, wondering why Jay cares so much about who Jungwon talks to, about whose number he asks for, about who he has a crush on.
For years, Jungwon has had feelings for Jay, ones that he never expected the older to reciprocate, and he'd lived with that fact, had gotten accustomed to it, had accepted that he could never be with Jay and that was that.
So there is no way Jay magically woke up one day and cared about Jungwon the way he cares for Jay.
It's dangerous to believe that.
+1
There is truly nothing better in life than sitting at home on a rainy day after a long day at work and doing absolutely nothing while the storm is tapping on the windows relentlessly.
At least that's what Jungwon thinks.
He was scheduled to work the morning shift today and even got sent home earlier because there were barely any customers due to the weather, so now he's going to make the most of relaxing.
He decides to put on a thriller to watch, on brand for the gloomy day, make pop corn and get comfortable on the couch.
Days like this are rare in the midst of his shifts at the café and his limited free time being taken up by all kinds of activities with his friends, like last week when Riki suggested going apple picking and, weirdly, everyone was down. You’re really starved for entertainment when you’re employed.
Ten minutes into the movie, Jungwon is cursing at the main character for making stupid decisions already, swearing that he’d act differently if he were in her place. He kind of, sort of, maybe wishes he had someone to direct this commentary to, like… Jay.
He misses him at the weirdest times, at times when he’s not allowed to miss him.
Sure, a friend can miss a friend, but on a normal day, at a normal time. Not when he wishes he had someone to cuddle up next to during a cozy night in and laugh at a dumb movie with.
With Jay travelling all over his brain, Jungwon misses at least five minutes of the movie, during which someone has died and Jungwon is impressed that the characters’ screams didn't pull him out of his trance.
He shakes the thoughts away, not wanting to linger on the impossible.
Right as the main character walks straight into danger yet again, Jungwon's phone pings with a notification.
jay :)
20:38
jungwon
Oh.
There is radio silence for a couple minutes and Jay's typing bubble keeps popping up, then disappearing. Jungwon waits.
20:41
im downstairs
Oh.
what are you doing here
not sure yet
can you come down please
Jungwon's mind starts running a million scenarios a minute.
Is he in trouble? Is he just bored? Is he in need of medical aid? Relationship advice? Maybe he heard Jungwon's thoughts and just wants to see a movie with him? What could Park Jay possibly be doing outside Jungwon's building at this hour when the rain is violently hitting the windows and no normal person would leave the comfort of their home unless absolutely necessary?
With a hazy mind, Jungwon slips on his shoes that he knows are about to get ruined in the rain but doesn't think twice about it, grabs a jacket from the rack and heads downstairs, pocketing his keys and choosing the stairs instead of the elevator—he can rush down faster.
He doesn't really know what he's rushing for. But apparently he cannot resist Jay, even for the smallest things. Like going out in the rain for him. Even though, on second thought, it doesn't seem so small.
After almost tumbling on the last set of stairs, Jungwon makes it out of the building, pushing the door open to find Jay standing there with his hands in his pockets, looking down at the pavement and pacing, turning to the street and then back to the building, as if he's contemplating if he should just bolt.
Jungwon has to raise his voice to be heard over the pattering of the rain.
“Jay-hyung.”
Jay's head snaps up and Jungwon can instantly see the tension in his expression, his clenched jaw, his wild eyes, his pursed lips parting at the sight of Jungwon.
“Jungwon-ah.” He tries a smile but it looks unnatural, like a flaw on a second skin instead of a constant on his face.
“It's raining,” Jungwon says unhelpfully, watching Jay get soaked and not moving to step under the canopy at the entrance.
Jay chuckles under his breath, gaze moving to his shoes again. “I'm aware.”
Jungwon doesn't know what to say. There are many times when he's hanging out with Jay and he gets nervous and doesn't know what to say but Jay can always stir the conversation wherever he wants, however he wants, make small talk or have deeper discussions because that's how he is, he fills silences. Now, he seems more stumped than ever. Jungwon tries nonetheless.
“So–”
“You know Taylor Swift?”
Jungwon blinks. Did Jay really come all the way over here in the rain to inquire about Taylor Swift?
“Not personally.”
Jay meets Jungwon's eyes and there is finally a hint of an actual smile in the crinkle around his own. Jungwon can't help smiling back.
“Me neither. But, you know. I was…” A pause. He removes his hands from his pockets, intertwines them in front of him, then releases them again and scratches the back of his head. “I was driving home from work and this song came up. Um, The Way I Loved You. You know. And the lyrics were just… It was all so cliché and I just had to do this.”
Jungwon knows that song.
Jungwon is well aware of that song.
In fact, it was on Jay's birthday playlist last year and Jungwon watched him sing along to it passionately like he'd been through a heavy breakup. Needless to say, Jungwon was amused. The song stayed with him after that and he started listening to it a lot, playing it over and over with Jay's face etched in his mind and refusing to leave. That song is inadvertently tied to Jay.
“Do what?” Jungwon asks, still confused because Jay hasn't moved an inch or elaborated on his mention of the song.
“You are so oblivious. It's actually painful.”
Jay finally takes a step forward, but instead of staying in front of Jungwon under the protection of the canopy, he grabs his arm and pulls him to the pouring rain, and Jungwon immediately gets soaked from head to toe.
“What the hell–”
“I like you, Jungwon.”
Jungwon is not usually one for romance movies but at this moment, it feels like he is in one and time stops. He feels like those romance leads whose whole world changes the moment their love interest confesses, who stop paying attention to the rain falling on them, who freeze because this seems impossible.
Impossible. Terribly impossible. Yet here stands Jay, sweet, wonderful Jay, telling Jungwon he likes him. He likes him. Romantically?
When Jungwon doesn't speak, Jay continues.
“I've liked you for too long. I thought you'd notice but you were always too busy keeping your head down and not noticing when I did things for you. Because of you. I guess I thought you liked me back and I hoped you'd get the hint but I've been trying lately and you…” A chuckle. “You didn't notice. Or you pretended not to notice. If you don't like me, just put me out of my misery and say it already because I feel more like a fool the more I–”
“Of course I like you, Jay-hyung.”
It's Jay's time to freeze now, his mouth closing involuntarily, his eyes roaming all over Jungwon's face in search of an indication that he's lying. But Jungwon can't possibly lie about this. Not this time.
“You… do?”
Jungwon laughs. He can't help but laugh. This is ridiculous. Jay has liked him for a long time. He wants to scream it from the rooftops. Park Jay likes me!!!!!!! He likes him and he has confessed it. And he really thinks Jungwon might not like him back?
“Yes. Yes. Big time. I didn't think you would like me.”
“Jungwon, that's ridiculous.”
“Why?”
Jay shrugs. “You're you. How could I not like you?”
Honestly, that serves as a better confession than any half-assed speech anyone has ever given him.
Which is why Jungwon wastes no time in inching closer and kissing Jay.
For the first time in forever, it hits him. Maybe that stupid willow was a scam, but maybe it wasn't. The truth of the matter is the wish wouldn't have worked either way.
Because what Jungwon wished for was already true.
Jungwon doesn't hesitate to grab Jay's hand when they pull away, dragging him inside, their clothes and hair dripping water all over the lobby floor, but these things don't matter after a successful rain confession.
On the way up, with Jay's head on his shoulder and the smell of his cologne wafting to Jungwon's nose, after the big moment is over, Jungwon finally asks, “Did you really just come all the way over here to dramatically confess to me in the rain because of Taylor Swift?”
Jay looks up, flashing his signature Jay grin, and presses a kiss to Jungwon's cheek and yeah. The wish was futile.
“Maybe.”