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Dan used the sleeve of his coat to wipe the tears from Jaekyung’s face. “Come on. Let’s go home. It’s chilly out here.” He pulled the hood of Jaekyung’s hoodie up. This one didn’t zip up or anything. He was freezing. Despite his size, he seemed more sensitive to the cold. Dan noticed that he tolerated it better.
Slowly he helped Jaekyung up and they slowly made their way back. He was unsteady. Adrenaline crash? Emotional drain? Both? Dan looked at him closer. Eyes red, lips chapped, hair was unwashed and unstyled, and it looked like he hadn’t slept again. Dan moved to beside him and held onto his arm to try and steady him a little.
The healing stab wound as letting its displeasure be known again. he was going to feel that tomorrow. But they were to the building again. they went through the underground parking lot to the private elevator. Unknown to them, a green tinted haired young man followed them. His name was still on the visitor’s list somehow. An oversight.
He followed not believing this. He saw the guy that replaced him and then delivered his food. He was going to twist the knife again, because he was still annoyed about all that. before he got to him the bus came and he cursed his luck. Then he heard Jaekyung’s voice in a tone he never heard before. Like someone was carving his heart out. then he watched Jaekyung kneeling. Kneeling in front this guy and begging him not to leave him.
He remembered stopped there on the sideway of the other side of the street. Jaekyung’s hair was down, in clothes he wouldn’t wear outside normally, in a hooded jacket too light for the weather. His face in emotional pain he didn’t think he could feel.
He started to think he had one party drug too many and now he was seeing things.
Whatever that guy’s name was, helped Jaekyung off the ground and seemed to be keeping him steady. He crossed the street illegally and followed. He watched and kept watching. He got close enough to see inside the elevator as the doors opened. When, whatever his name was, touched his lower stomach in pain. Jaekyung scooped him up in his arms with care and kissed his temple. Leaning his head against the other man’s. He could see redness on the brown haired one’s cheeks from where he was standing.
The doors closed and he didn’t move. He couldn’t believe that. did he really see that? what was so special about that guy that caused Jaekyung to act so . . . lovingly towards him? he couldn’t touch his arm without him calling it unpleasant and that was after sex. “Damn. I was wrong. For once, Jaekyung is the one wrapped around someone else’s finger. Too bad that guy is too nice to do anything about it.” he huffed and kicked the wall. Now he was more annoyed but he wasn’t crazy enough to try again. if Jaekyung liked him that much to make a spectacle of himself. who knows what he would do if he made the guy upset. “Damn. I hope he doesn’t tell him about what I said to him that day.” He needed to make himself scarce for a few days just in case it came up.
The elevators doors opened noticing the something he missed. The walls towards the floor had measurements. Eight feet by twenty-five. “I’m changing the carpet and having the walls repainted. Haven’t decided on colors yet.”
“Oh.” That would make sense. After everything that happened in this hallway. A fresh up would help so he didn’t think about him dying on the floor. he wondered if the director was ever caught. He was covered in his blood. He shouldn’t have been able to hide too well.
Jaekyung put his thumb on the scanner to open the door and stepped in carefully. He grudgingly put Dan down so he could take his layered coats off and his shoes. Jaekyung too removed his hoodie and shoes without untying them.
Jaekyung surge of his normal strength failed him as he stumbled. Dan took hold of his arm and guided him to the living area as it was the closest. Dan got him to the couch and Jaekyung dropped on it. “Mr. Joo? When was the last time you slept?” Jaekyung seemed to be thinking about it but coming up with nothing. “Last proper meal?”
“I don’t . . . know. Saturday maybe?”
It was Friday. “Okay.” Dan said running treatment programs in his head. “You need something easy on the stomach, calorie dense, and hydrating.” Congee would be good. He seemed get all better after he made it, when he was ill with a fever that wouldn’t break.
As dan turned to see if he had the stuff for it here. Jaekyung’s hands grasped dan’s. not hard but rather in a desperate grip. “Not yet. Just . . . stay with me for a bit. Please.” He didn’t care if he was coming off pathetic. He just needed dan to stay where he could see him for a while.
Dan could feel the shaking and not from cold. He settled down next to him on the couch. “O-kay. It’s okay.” Dan lifted one hand and put it against his own chest. “I’m not going anywhere.” That line alone almost caused Jaekyung to cry again. “You’re over tired. Among other things. How about a power nap? You can use my lap as a pillow if you want.”
Jaekyung wasn’t turning that down. He was beyond tired. he hadn’t slept much since the night before the fight. Even when Dan woke up, his guilt, his years of buried emotions coming to the surface, and his heartbreak he was trying to hide because he thought letting dan go was for the best. All of it wouldn’t allow him more than two hours a night and not in a row. “I didn’t want to leave the hospital. I didn’t want to go to the match. I hated myself for leaving to go. Part of him still does but Junmin all but admitted he was the cause of your attack. I never thought they would hurt someone else to get to me before.” Jaekyung blurted out, too tired to keep it in. “The nurse said I was hampering your recovery. So, I sent flower instead.” Dan gasped at that. why would she say such a thing?
“It’s okay now. just sleep a little. You will feel better.”
He leaned over to the coffee table and handed dan the remote to the television before laying down on his back, using dan’s lap as a pillow. Dan laid a hand on Jaekyung’s chest. Jaekyung put his hand over dan’s. eyes dropped rather quickly. Dan ran his fingers through him hair. It wasn’t styled so he figured he wouldn’t mind right now.
Silent minutes passed when Jaekyung’s body felt almost heavier. Dan smiled as he turned the TV on low volume. He found a K-drama channel. It was in the middle of an episode but the plot was easy enough. Rich CEO falling in love with the beautiful janitor. His family is not happy. Her family doesn’t know.
***
Six more episodes later, Jaekyung stirred. Dan turned off the TV and watched him. eyes opened, looking up at him. “Feel better?”
“a little.” He got up despite not wanting to.
“Good.” Dan stood up and stretched a little. “You should wash up a bit while I get dinner ready. Something easy on the stomach for the both of us.” He looked at the distressed look on Jaekyung’s face. Dan wondered he was still in trauma response mode. “Or would you rather we do that together?” he smelled like the hospital still.
Jaekyung seemed to perk up a little at that. Dan knew he had the last night he slept here’s night clothes in his bag. The rest of his clothes were sent to the seaside town. He should retrieve them soon or Jaekyung would buy him more if he wanted him to or not.
Jaekyung got up after him and watched concerned when Dan turned where the door was. Only to calm seeing he was going for his bag. Pulling out a sleep shirt and the soft pants that came with the set.
Dan came back to him and reached his hand. Jaekyung took it as they walked to the master bathroom. “Pick something that is comfortable to sleep in. I figure after eating, then watching a show or a movie. We should go to bed. Try to rest. I didn’t sleep too well in the hospital and you didn’t at all it seems.”
“Yeah.” His father was gone. Now his nightmares circled around dan bleeding out or already dead.
Dan stepped into the master bath as Jaekyung went to his walk-in closet for softer pants and silk robe. Jaekyung came back seeing Dan looking at himself in the mirror. The stab wound with self-dissolving stitches on the right side, below the belly button line. It was smaller than he thought it would be. By the way it bled. By the amount of blood there was.
Dan looked up and covered it like it was shameful. Jaekyung come behind him and hugged him around the shoulders. “it’s ugly.” Dan said ashamed.
Jaekyung hugged his tighter. “How you got it is ugly, the director that did it is ugly. The scar is not.” His one arm reached down and grasped dan’s hand to move it away from the scar. “Scars are marks of survivors. Nothing to be ashamed of. It’s part of you.” Jaekyung leaned down to have his head rest on dan’s shoulder. “And nothing about you is ugly.”
Dan laughed slightly and kissed Jaekyung’s temple. “Grandma said you were so pretty with your words. I was a little confused at first.” He laughed again, thinking about that.
“I like it when you laugh.” He rubbed his cheek against his a little. “Shower or bath?”
Dan felt his cheeks heat up a little. “I can’t submerge the stitches so it has to be shower.”
“Shower it is.”
After stripping down fully, they turned on the rainfall shower.
***
Dan was a little surprised nothing happened in the shower. he was sure something was going to. Maybe the tiniest part was disappointed about that, but at the same time. he still had stitches though so it was understandable.
Dan found he had the stuff for chicken and vegetable congee with cucumber salad. You couldn’t ask for anything easier on the stomach than that he thought with something close to pride. Jaekyung was sitting at the kitchen isle with his head on the marble countertop. He was still exhausted from everything.
Dan put the bowls in front of Jaekyung. He gave him a triple portion of the congee. He lifted his head with great effort. He watched as dan poured the tea. Ginger honey by the smell of it. “Oh!” Dan turned to the hallway. Jaekyung didn’t panic this time as Dan was in night clothes. “We might as well eat this. It got a little smashed but that’s okay.” It took Jaekyung a moment to remember the cake slice he gave him. the box was crushed in a bit. Dan smiled looking at it like it amused him. he put it on the counter top and got forks and his food before sitting next to him.
Jaekyung missed dan’s food. The lady he fired cooked a lot but the flavor was never there. by the time he was done with his, dan was still working on his congee. Dan looked over and swallowed so he could talk. “You want something else?”
“No. I don’t want to push it too much more . . . right now.” he didn’t want to get sick as it been a while since he ate anything. At least he couldn’t remember eating anything those days. He might have popped something in his mouth by reflex.
Dan nodded and finished up his congee. He took his small bowl of cucumber salad. “You back to micro meals now?” Jaekyung asked half concerned half joking.
Dan chuckled soundlessly. “Doctor suggested smaller meals more often until the stitches dissolve. Then play it by ear.” Jaekyung grunted at the answer. It made sense but he wondered of dan remembered the ‘more often’ part.
He pulled the cake closer and popped open the less crushed side, then side the cake slice out. the cake was not as crushed as the box. Some of the icing got smooshed and that was all.
Dan savored another small bite. “I have eaten more sweets since I started working for you than I had my whole life.” He said with a laugh. “Not to mention ice cream in France. It’s quite different.”
“Because they use an egg base and we tend to use milk-bases or water mix sorbets.” He looked that one after tasting it on an impulse. He didn’t think when he grabbed Dan’s hand dragged his tongue across the cone as it was melting. Both of them freaked for a moment after that. Dan is embarrassment and him trying to fix that but didn’t know how.
“I would have sworn that I hated sweets before.”
That was fair. He loved health foods and Yogurt. “I think you are more selective when it comes to that. Not a bad thing.”
A small but almost sad smile crossed Dan’s face. “I never told grandma that I hated sticky buns. But she would always find a way to buy one for my birthday. Stick a candle in it.” he laughed but a sob was mixed in it. “I would eat it with a smile anyways.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.”
Going to the end of the cake slice where are the decorative icing was. Dan was struck was a moment of mischievous intent. He dragged his finger across the piece he had in his fork before eating it. he put the fork down. “I’m done.” Dan saw him laugh silently. Dan chose that moment to strike.
Wrist caught in a firm but somehow gentle hold. “Really? Did you think that would work?”
“you’re fast.” Dan said embarrassed about being caught so easily. Jaekyung looked at the frosting covered fingers. He smirked at him and brought his fingers to his mouth. Dan’s cheeks flushed as Jaekyung’s tongue swirled around the frosting covered fingers.
Slowly he withdrew the fingers once the frosting was gone. “I think you taste better than the cake.” He carefully pulled Dan closer as he too took some frosting and smeared it across Dan’s lips before licking across them and then covering them with his own.
At first kissing felt like an attack. Partly due to him not knowing what to do, partly because Jaekyung didn’t really either as he was copying what he seen before on movies. Another part was the fear of physical intimacy. It at first triggered memories of what the director tried to do mixed with the constant anger Jaekyung, at one time, was always in. it put the fear into him like nothing else then.
He didn’t know when it changed. He couldn’t point to a moment when it did. He couldn’t point it when the sex wasn’t exhausting and dread inducing. Somewhere along the way, things changed. Kisses got softer, he started wanting it sometimes. He was able to push was the director away from his mind.
Jaekyung pulled back, his thumb wiping away a little frosting from the corner of his mouth. “I was right. You do taste better.” He looked the cake that was left. “I don’t want anymore. You?”
“I’m.” Dan tried to catch his breath for a moment. “I’m full.” Jaekyung scooped him into a bridal carry again and took them to the sink to wash the frosting off their fingers before taking them to the bedroom. “Mr. Joo I really shouldn’t . . .” Dan’s voice failed the rest of the sentence but Jaekyung understood what he was saying.
“We aren’t doing anything like that. you are recovering still from the near fatal stabbing.” Jaekyung stepped into the bedroom that was in sight disarray for him. he went to the bed and sat down on it. “And no more Mr. Joo or Sir when it’s just us. I am not my father.”
“Okay. Jaekyung.” Dan said like he was trying it on for size. “You can just call me Dan then.” Jaekyung nodded.
“We need to . . . talk. We are bad at it . . . I know seventy percent of that is my fault and you try to fix everything yourself.”
“Not very good at it.” he tired so hard and got no where on his own.
“You were never going to fix that by design. The family debt was made to keep you in debt unless you won the lottery or something.” Like a didn’t-know-he-was-smitten- rich MMA fighter paying it off.
“Yeah, I knew that sadly. They planned to use me for a script pad when I got the medical scholarship. I wasn’t going to be in that trap. Then I graduated and they found out I was a medical professional without the ability to write scripts.” Dan laughed without humor. “I thought they were going to beat me to death that day.” He remembered the bruises and pain.
“I should have hit them so much harder.” He should have torn them limb from limb. There were no witnesses there, no cameras. He would get away with it.
“Hard to believe the loan sharks and king gym were connected.” Dan rested his head against Jaekyung’s chest. “Small world.”
“Very. It took me a while but I finally recognized Junmin.”
“Right. You two knew each other from your home town?” isn’t that what Byungchul said?
“Yeah. His brother was in charge of the drug pusher gang I hung around for a while.” The brother died in a rival fight a few years ago. He recognized him in the news. He didn’t feel anything though. “It was a mistake but . . . I just didn’t want to be alone.” He wanted to feel like he belonged somewhere. “I am almost grateful Junmin tried to force me to sell drugs. It caused a fight and then Coach knocked some sense into me the hard way. I spent two days just . . . thinking. I decided to go, I had my last cigarette, said bye to coach, and walked slashed hitchhiked to here, found Hyung’s gym.”
“How did that work out?”
“He called me fresh meat.”
Dan choked a laugh, “sorry.”
“Don’t say sorry. it is funny. Especially when I got the hang of grappling the same day, they taught it to me, I scared some of them. Hyung then shifted his full attention of me after that.”
“He saw a rising star.”
“He saw a barely adult with the strength of a wild beast and with the hunger to learn. Basically, a possible headliner and bigger paycheck.”
“Paycheck?”
“Ten percent of everything I and the others he manages, makes related to MMA. He gets. Plus, if you are in team housing that’s another ten percent per person. So, fighting purses, bonuses, Sponsorships and Endorsements. Everything except investments or the talent agency paid he makes a percentage.” Dan adsorbed that. he never asked how that all worked before.
“So that’s why he dotes on you a bit?” he smoothed things over, called him one or twice a week, and tried to keep him happy as possible.
“There are only three others in the whole gym on the true circuit. Mid-cards at best, still in training. I am making ninety-five percent of the money right now.”
They sat there a while trading questions and statements. Jaekyung randomly would apologize for a past action that Dan half the time forgot about. when dan yawned, Jaekyung stood and pulled the covers down to set him bed. He too got under the covers, not letting him go. “Just promise to stay here until I wake up.”
“You said I can stay. So, I’m staying.”
“no. I mean . . . If you wake up before me again. just stay here.” He patted the bed to be clear.
Dan curled into him and looked up at him. “Why did that make you so upset? I was just making you your breakfast.”
Jaekyung took a breath like felt like it had edges to it. “I panicked thinking you slept walked again.”
Dan racked his brain. He didn’t remember waking up anywhere strange here. “Again? I slept walked here?”
“Yes. The day at the gym when I lost my tempter. I upset you greatly. I woke up suddenly, you weren’t there. I got to the hallway and you were walking to the railing. You went over it.” Dan gasped hard. “I got you by the arm and pulled you over. you kept apologizing in your sleep to me. I thought telling you would make it worse.”
Dan remembered him rushing in the room almost panicked. Then he hired a cook. “You hired her so I would stop doing that.” him waking up alone, thinking the worse.
“Right. Her food was just okay. I was . . . trying to . . .” Jaekyung words were failing him. the panic that he didn’t wake up and Dan walked over the railing or into the pool. Sure, he could swim now but what if he didn’t wake up? “I thought the sleepwalking was alcohol related but it’s your mental state.” He needed to get rid of the wine cabinets. Not that dan was really a wine drinker but he should stop it. it wasn’t helping.
Dan chewed on that. he felt bad that he might have been getting him mini panic attacks thinking he did walk over the railing the one time he didn’t wake up. “Maybe you should have gotten a lock for the door.” Dan said with chuckle. “Although if you didn’t tell me why, I would have a little freaked out.”
“Yeah. Understandably but you would. Good chance I would have made it worse trying to not upset you about the dangerous sleepwalking.” Damned if you do, damned if you don’t, he thought with a huff. “We are bad at this.”
“I think most people are at first.” Dan snuggled in Jaekyung’s chest. “Can I come back to the gym now?”
“Yes. You can go anywhere you want.” He had to get over the jealousy. He already said he loved him and had for a while. “Oh. For piece of mind. The director is dead. He was a loose end and the police found him in one of the king gym member’s car before they dumped the body.” Dan stiffened for a moment.
Dan didn’t know how to feel. He hated the idea someone was killed, even him. yes, he did try to kill him and almost did, he tried to sexual assault him and it caused him to be blacklisted, and he truly found him repulsive in every way. Yet, he rather him be in prison for the rest of his life than dead. “Please tell me you don’t feel sorry about that.” Jaekyung asked feeling the stiffness.
“I rather him be in prison. Death . . . I feel like he didn’t pay for his crimes and I’m sure he hurt more people than me.”
Jaekyung was rather glad he was dead. One less thing to worry about. “He can’t hurt you again. that’s all I care about.”
his voice was getting lower and quieter. Dan recognized he was going out again. “let’s sleep for a while. We both need it. I promise I will be here right when you wake up.” He hadn’t walked in his sleep in a long while now. maybe and hoping he never would again.
They had so much more to talk about, and more plans to make about everything. Yet, both of them were exhausted and in need of healing in different ways.
As If he needed permission, Jaekyung’s shadowed eyes closed. Dan too closed his. He needed to see grandma soon. He had so much to tell her.