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Samira noticed him immediately. She was used to seeing families come into the cat shelter with their kids–they usually wanted kittens, and she’d have to explain that they only let kittens be adopted as a pair. Other times it might be a single adult looking for companionship, and she’d guide them to an orange boy velcro cat.
This man was different, though. He was probably early 40s and handsome with a full head of curls, but he had the saddest eyes she’d seen in a long time. He just stood there and didn’t approach any of the cats; he didn’t even seem to be completely aware of where he was.
Curious, she went up to him and introduced herself.
“Hi, I’m Samira, one of the volunteers here. Can I help you with anything?”
It took a beat before his eyes focused on her, and once they did, she saw his pupils dilate before he looked away, almost as if ashamed at the involuntary reaction.
He cleared his throat before speaking. “I’ve been thinking about getting a cat.” His voice sounded hoarse, as if he hadn’t used it recently or as if he’d been crying. Maybe both.
She was grateful that Amy, the other volunteer, was busy with the family in the playroom. Her overly bouncy self might have been too much for this man to deal with.
“Sure, I can help you with that. Have you had a cat before?”
“No.”
“That’s not a problem. Do you know what kind of cat you’re looking for?”
“No.”
He was turning out to be a tough nut to crack, but she was not a quitter, and there was something about him that made her want to dig deeper.
“Okay, why don’t you tell me about your lifestyle so we can try to figure out what would work best for you.”
“I work the night shift, usually more than twelve hours a night.”
“Did you know that contrary to popular belief, cats are crepuscular creatures, not nocturnal?”
He finally met her eyes again. It seemed asking him a question that wasn’t about himself had made him loosen his guard. She could work with that.
“I didn’t.”
“And a cat will also adapt to their owner's schedule, so you don’t need to worry about that.” She looked down and noticed a wedding ring. “And how about your spouse?”
His right hand moved to cover his left, his thumb and index fingers automatically reaching to fidget with the ring.
“She….” His face twisted as he tried to find a way to finish that sentence. “She’s….”
Samira instinctively knew that his wife was gone, and that this was the first time he had needed to figure out how to say it to a complete stranger. It was different, that first time. With people who you knew and who had known the deceased, fewer words were needed. With a stranger, though, you had to calculate how much to share so that you didn’t make the other person feel awkward while also reducing an entire lifetime into a few words.
Samira had navigated this before as a teenager, and a surge of empathy poured out from her. She did something she’d never done before. She took the man’s hand and held it, squeezing it to let him know wordlessly that she understood and that he didn’t need to explain anything else.
He held it for a few seconds until he took a deep breath and let go.
“I think I know a cat you might be interested in. Follow me.”
She took him past the other cats to the backroom, where there was a single cage with a lone black cat inside.
“This is Darkness. She came to us after her owner had to move into a nursing facility and couldn’t bring her with her. She’s a little older, so she doesn’t need that much activity, but she still has plenty of good years left in her if she can find a calm, quiet home.”
He gave a small smile then, which transformed his face. “Darkness, huh? My therapist says I find comfort in the darkness.” The cat meowed back at him as if she had understood what he had said. He slipped a finger through the bars, and Darkness brushed her face against it before offering her chin for him to scratch.
He moved to open the cage and looked up at Samira for permission. “May I?”
“Sure, go ahead.” She was trying to hide it, but this was the first time that she had seen Darkness respond so favorably to anyone. The elderly cat was usually too depressed and anxious after losing the person she loved to interact with anyone—one of the reasons she had been moved back here.
But as soon as the man had opened the cage door, Darkness had walked out and climbed into his arms, which Samira now noticed were quite nice arms. She shook the unbidden thought away.
Darkness was purring, actually purring in the man’s very nice arms (oops, the thought came back).
“I’ve never seen her do that before.”
He seemed just as in awe and in love. “Can I take her home today?”
“I’ll need you to fill out some paperwork, and I need to ask you a few more questions, but yes, I think so.”
“You know, in my line of work, you’re not supposed to promise a good outcome if you’re not sure.”
“Oh yeah? What is it you do?”
“I’m a doctor at PTMC.”
“Oh! I just got into med school, going to start at Pitt Med in the fall.”
“Congratulations.” He smiled at her again, and she suddenly understood how Darkness felt.
“Thanks! Maybe one day I’ll find myself working a rotation with you, Doctor…”
“Abbot, Jack Abbot.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Abbot.”
“Please, call me Jack. I’d shake your hand but…” he said as he gestured at the cat in his arms.
“That’s ok, we’ve already held hands.” She realized how cringey that sounded as soon as she said it. “I mean, not that we held held hands. I mean….”
He laughed. It was a short and quiet laugh, but it sounded good coming from him. She realized she wanted to make this sad man with the nice arms laugh more. What was she thinking? She’d probably never see this man again.
“I don’t think Darkness is going to let me write; do you mind if you just take down my info for me?” He was right, Darkness looked perfectly content right where she was.
So Samira found out where he lived, his phone number, his email, even his emergency contact (a Michael Robinavitch).
She started going through the rest of the questions on the clipboard. “Can you describe where you live?”
“A single family home, for now, But, uh, I may be downsizing.”
Samira blushed. “I’m so sorry; I know these questions are a little invasive, but I need to ask them.”
“It’s fine, Samira. Go on.”
Was it weird that she was a little excited that he had remembered her name? Yes, probably. “What would you do if you needed to move somewhere that didn’t allow cats?”
“I wouldn’t,” he said firmly, confidently.
“Yes, but what if you had to?”
“I wouldn’t,” he repeated.
She looked up at him. She believed him. “Do you have any children?” She braced herself for the answer.
“No,” he said softly. She didn’t know if that was better or worse—having children who would grow up not knowing one of their parents like she had, or not ever having the opportunity to have children with someone you loved. The way he was holding Darkness, she thought she could guess what he was thinking.
The remaining questions were less personal. “Would you ever declaw your cat?” The look of horror on his face told her all she needed to know.
“How would you handle a cat scratching furniture?”
That one made him pause. He looked down at Darkness and said, “I don’t know. What would I do if you scratched my furniture?” She mrrped back at him. He thought for a minute and shrugged. “Get new furniture?”
She laughed softly. “Well, that is one solution. You could also get some scratching posts or pads and redirect her to those. The reason we ask is to make sure people wouldn’t punish the cat.”
“Why would anyone punish a cat?”
That question alone made her heart melt a little more. “Okay, Jack, I am officially approving your application to adopt Darkness, provided you can pay the adoption fee.”
Just then, Amy came in with a sad look on her face.
“What happened?” asked Samira.
“Oh, that family that was here. They fell in love with both kittens but couldn’t afford the adoption fee for both,” Amy explained, dejectedly.
“I’ll pay for it,” said Jack, quietly, without fanfare.
“You will?!” Amy was literally jumping up and down. Darkness reacted by scrambling out of his arms and back into her cage.
“Yeah, do you take credit cards?” he asked as he reached into his back pocket for his wallet.
“Oh my god, thank you!” Amy hugged him impulsively without noticing how awkwardly he just stood there and ran off to presumably chase down the family.
“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” said Samira.
“I know,” he responded plainly.
Samira’s regard for him was climbing higher by the second. “Did you bring a cat carrier? It’s okay if you didn’t; we have some that you can buy for this very reason.”
“Sure, add it to the tab.” He held his credit card out to her, and she took it. It was a small, simple gesture, but the amount of eye contact he imbued into it made Samira stumble over her next words.
“And are you…are you all set with everything else? I mean, a litter box, cat food….” She literally forgot what else he needed because she was getting lost in his hazel eyes.
He broke eye contact first, realizing that he had been staring. “Yeah, yes, I have the bare essentials. Didn’t want to get too much before I knew I was bringing home a cat, but I’ll probably pick up some toys and a cat tree soon.”
“Good, that’s good.” She focused on processing the transaction, trying to get her heartbeat under control. “Do you have a veterinarian already or do you need suggestions?”
“I don’t. I wouldn’t mind getting your recommendations.”
“No problem.” She handed him his card back and then pulled out the adoption packet that they gave everyone. “You’ll find some good information in here like how to best acclimate Darkness to your place as well as a list of vets in the area that we recommend.”
She slipped the packet into the side pocket of one of the soft pet carriers that they provided and handed it to him. He unzipped the carrier and placed it in front of Darkness, who walked straight in, no convincing needed.
“Let’s go home, Darkness.”
Then, before he left, Samira did something else she never did. She pulled out a pen and wrote her name and phone number on the back of the shelter’s business card.
“Feel free to reach out if you have any questions." She held the card out to him, hoping she wasn’t being too forward. She was most definitely not trying to make a move on an older, widowed man. She just felt like she had met a kindred spirit, something that didn’t happen often with her. Thankfully, he seemed to understand and took it from her without making a big deal out of it.
“Thanks, I will.” Instead of haphazardly sticking it into his pocket, she watched him pull his wallet back out and carefully slip it into one of the slots. “You have my contact info, too,” he said, indicating the application form with his chin. “If you ever have any questions about med school.”
She clutched the clipboard closer to her chest, thrilled that he had given her permission to reach out. “Best of luck with Darkness!”
He lifted the carrier to eye level and looked in. “You know, when I came here today, I wasn’t expecting to make such an immediate connection.” Then he looked at her, and she knew he wasn’t just talking about Darkness. “Thanks for making this…easy.”
“You’re welcome. I’m really glad I could help.”
“Goodbye, Samira.”
“Goodbye, Jack. Goodbye, Darkness.”