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A nice drink at the end of a long and stressful day. Perfect way to spend the remainder of this evening, according to Chuuya and Dazai. Ever since they officially became the double black duo and being paired up for missions together, they had made a habit out of visiting random bars all over the city at least twice every month, and get filthy drunk together as a way to drown out bad days. Most bars didn’t ask for their ages anyways.
Today was another one of those days they’d never forget. A small, underground organisation had been the main culprit guilty of trafficking young gifted children and using them for illegal experiments. An anonymous tip had been given to the Port mafia, and upon further investigation they’d found the underground research facility. Mori had decided to take things into his own hands and had send a few troops including the double black duo, to go investigate and figure out what exactly was going on there.
When the truth came to light, they made sure to also get the Special Division for Unusual Powers involved, as well as several military troops.
In general, this had been a particularly difficult mission both physically and mentally, especially for Chuuya. Seeing those children’s empty eyes and bruised bodies had painfully reminded him of the parts he remembered from his own past, and his fear of it still happening to other children had indeed come true.
That feeling was nightmarish, and he felt as if he was six years old again, dull-eyed and in a constant strange pain, never quite knowing what it was from. Memories from when he was sixteen, visiting professor N’s research facility had also resurfaced when he saw a kid injected with the same strange tubes he was injected with back then. The panic he’d felt, knowing the pain those things caused, turned into a mad rage and he’d gone on to destroy many parts of the facility, killing lab researchers left and right and destroying most of the equipment laying around. That’s when he’d gotten to an important leader in the whole operation and had tortured the man, desperate to get more information out of him to potentially save more children. He’d gone as far as almost choking the man to death, crushing his lungs in with his gravity ability had Dazai not stepped in, grabbing his wrist and nullifying his ability.
He had led a rather upset Chuuya out of the hiding place while never letting go of his wrist, and let the Special Division for Unusual Powers and the military handle the rest.
Outside, Chuuya had broken down and started hyperventilating, unresponsive. Dazai had kneeled in front of him and somehow, his presence and quiet, reassuring words were comforting enough to pull him back to the present moment and calm him down enough to finish the mission.
That’s how they found themselves a few hours later in front of a dingy bar just outside of the city centre. Outside it had started pouring, and the sky was dark, stuffed with clouds. It did not look like the rain would stop anytime soon, so the two boys decided to spend their evening there.
The bar they stayed in was half-lit, and the old, strange looking decor gave it a peculiar atmosphere. A strong smell of ginger, musk and cheap red wine hung in the air. Well-worn chairs and unstable benches carrying dark red cushions were cluttered around tables that looked like they had seen better days. Though this bar didn’t have a great reputation considering its frequent bar fights, cheap tasting alcohol and occasionally leaking roof, the place still felt like home to the double back duo. They came here often and the bartender knew their faces with their orders so well, he often started making their usuals before they’d ordered.
Slightly soaked from rain they made their way over to their usual spot in the corner, right next to the old jukebox. A soft, jazzy tune was playing from the device, fitting well with the current peace in the establishment, since it was still too early for most guests to arrive.
Dazai was the first to drop himself onto one of the chairs which creaked dangerously, trying to support the boy’s weight. He shrugged off his black coat and dropped his forehead onto the table, letting out a groan. Chuuya followed his example by sitting down on the opposite side, also taking off his coat as he sat down.
Raising his head, Dazai rubbed at his uncovered eye. He was physically and mentally quite drained from this whole mission, and no doubt the ginger opposite to him felt the same way, if not even more so.
As they waited for their drinks, there was a rare sense of quiet between the two. Not even their usual bickering sessions felt appropriate in this moment, which certainly felt uncharacteristic for the two. But today had been different from what both of them had anticipated. This mission had shaken something inside, digging up nasty memories that were better to be kept buried. It was almost frightening how much impact it had.
But no matter, time passed and slowly, drink after drink, their tongues became loose again. An attempt at making casual conversation was made, the bar was getting fuller by the hour and some customers had changed the music to something more like 70s music.
‘Def Leppard’, Chuuya thought absently.
He let out a deep sigh which ended in a groan.
"That was the worst mission we’ve had to deal with since the Dragons head conflict and the whole schtick with Guivre. Shit, I need something stronger, d'ya want anything else mackerel?"
"Just gimme whatever you’re having." Dazai replied sluggishly. "My tongue is numbed enough to handle the disgusting taste of whatever it is you’re choosing."
He leaned back and kicked his feet up on the table, closing his eyes. Chuuya scowled at him but went up to the bar anyways. He ordered two very strong vodka stingers, mostly to annoy Dazai since he hated vodka, while Chuuya found it bearable. Usually he has a preference for wine, but the ones they served here weren’t of great quality so he passed.
As the bartender prepared their drinks his eyes wandered to their shared table, where Dazai was still lounging peacefully, feet kicked up and eyes closed. His mouth was hanging open slightly, as if he was taking a nap. Under the corners warm lighting he actually looked quite normal, human even. Sure, he stood out with his bandages and strange sense of fashion for an seventeen year old boy, but a stranger looking at him like this wouldn't suspect there was blood staining the man’s hands. While Chuuya hadn’t been paying attention, Dazai had also taken off his suit jacket. With his white blouse, dark tie and rolled up sleeves he looked older than he actually was, like a young businessman relaxing after a long day of stress and hard, honest work. It was strange looking at him with an outsiders perspective, and not knowing about the cruelty and suffering this man had caused countless times. Not knowing anything of the underworld he lived in, and the darkness in his very own soul. But especially not knowing anything of that indifferent, almost soft and sometimes even considerate side he was capable of showing once a blue moon.
Observing Dazai like this, another word came to mind, but as soon as it came up he pushed it away immediately. No, that was a direction he really didn't wanna g-
‘Excuse me sir, are you quite alright?’ a voice ripped him out of his train of thoughts. The bartender who’d appeared in front of him was holding the two drinks he’d ordered earlier. A questioning and somewhat concerning look crossed the man’s eyes, seeing Chuuya hadn’t responded the first two times he had called him.
With a warm face Chuuya murmured a quick ‘yea thanks’, grabbed his drinks and quickly disappeared back to the table in the corner. Dazai was still sitting in the same position as before, and Chuuya considered dumping the drinks over his head, just to pay him back for distracting him earlier and causing an embarrassing moment.
Before he could, Dazai opened his eyes and lazily grinned up at the redhead. ‘Finally you’re back, I was wondering what was taking you so long. Seems like you’re doing your nickname it’s honours, tiny slug.’
That smug bastard. The idea of strangling him became more exciting every day.
Chuuya sat down and placed one glass in front of Dazai. ‘Here. Drink this and shut up, alright? And if you don’t like it just give the rest to me. It would be wasted on your tasteless personality.’
"Aww, the hatrack is feeling violated by that nickname? But do not worry, I won't waste this heavenly drink on your terrible taste buds."
"You're calling them terrible but I was the one who chose this drink you asshole!" Chuuya shot back, eyes fiery.
Dazai grinned at him (ragebait successful) before taking a swig from his glass. His closed eye opened suddenly, and immediately he spat it out, coughing violently from the intense taste. "What did you give me, rat poison?"
"Well if you don’t like it just give the rest to me!"
"Absolutely not. Free alcohol is free alcohol."
"You are the youngest Port Mafia executive in history and filthy rich. If you wanted a new drink you can just buy it yourself, you stupid waste of bandages." Chuuya hissed.
"Nono, chibi got me this. I started it so now I have to finish it."
"Oh because otherwise your mountain high ego would be bruised? Well if that's the case, then I dare you to also finish my drink, or are you too much of a wimp to finish two simple glasses of booze?"
"Simple my ass. But alright, I never back down from a challenge." Dazai said proudly, eyes gleaming. There was a competitive spark in his eyes that hadn't been there before, and an idea sprouted in Chuuya's head. He felt his heart quicken in pace. If that bastard wanted to play it like this, he knew many other fun things he could make the other boy do.
“Well if that’s the case, then I have a great idea. After you’re done with those drinks let’s play truth or dare. Since I dared you first you even get to harass me with the next round, sound fair?”
A mischievous glint lit Dazai’s eyes and he smirked, holding eye contact with Chuuya in an attempt to be intimidating.
“You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into.” He responded mysteriously. “But alright, I’ll play along.”
Chuuya cringed slightly at that but looked satisfied as Dazai tipped back the rest of the glass, grabbed his from the other side of the table and drunk that one as well. The mackerel shuddered violently from the taste and immediately called the bartender to demand some water. What a puss, can’t even handle a few drinks.
After drowning at least three glasses of water, that annoying smugness returned and Dazai happily shot him a finger gun. “I believe it’s my turn now. Truth or dare?”
And so for the next two hours, they went back and forth daring each other to do the stupidest things imaginable.
Dazai started off calmly with a classic, making Chuuya propose marriage to a random stranger while he recorded the whole thing go down. The man he had made Chuuya walk up to ended up being a freshly divorced dad of two, and he had come to this bar tonight to drown out his sorrows and worries. Having a handsome, strange ginger proposing to him that night really wasn’t helping, and the poor, very drunk guy had bursted out in tears, saying Chuuya looked just like his wife when she had proposed to him all those years ago.
Meanwhile Dazai was crying with laughter in the distance, having Chuuya’s very bewildered and extremely uncomfortable expression caught in 4k, as the man was sobbing in his hands. Chuuya had carefully removed himself from the situation, and when he made it back to their shared table he made sure to punch that bastard for making him do this stupid crap. Of course Dazai had somehow magically foreseen something like this would happen, having picked out this specific person for the dare.
Then it was Chuuya’s turn, and he made Dazai, who’d picked dare, call up Hirotsu, call him dad multiple times, and then hang up by saying ‘I love you’.
Dazai looked sour but he did as dared. Exactly two minutes later he hung up on a very confused and sleepy Hirotsu, who’d asked if Dazai had been hit in the head a little too hard. Now it was Chuuya’s turn to roar with laughter as Dazai looked very uncomfortable.
After that, Dazai made Chuuya sing ‘Shake it off’ by Taylor Swift along with the jukebox in the middle of the bar, and Chuuya made Dazai steal something unnoticed from a random person and wearing it for the rest of the night. He ended up with a gigantic dark green scarf made of soft, silky material and smelling strangely like jasmine.
And so they went on, filling their evening with mischief. Eventually they ended up getting kicked out of the bar after Dazai made Chuuya explode the toilets with his gravity manipulation, and while the floor was overflowing with water, Dazai grabbed Chuuya’s hand and together they ran a little unsteady out of the building with the bartender behind them screaming something after the two. Sadly for him, it fell on deaf ears. Both boys were already two blocks away by the time he was able to storm outside, slipping over the wet floors.
***
After running a little longer they slowed down to a stop in a dark street, lit only by a few streetlamps in the distance and the moon in the sky.
“Man that was hilarious, did you see that guy’s face? He was livid!” Chuuya exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear and slightly out of breath from their unexpected sprint. Next to him, Dazai was standing with his hands on his knees, also trying to catch his breath from running while laughing. A wicked smile hung on his lips as he straightened up to look at Chuuya with sparkling eyes. “Well, those floors were disgusting, admit that. At least now we can be sure they’re getting cleaned.”
For some strange unknown reason Chuuya’s chest tightened slightly. It was unusual to see Dazai so alive. He was beaming at the redhead, cheeks flushed and those normally dull, dead and bored eyes were lit up with an unfamiliar fire. And even though he could only see one of them, he imagined the other one sparking just as beautifully. God those eyes, he wanted to rip the stupid bandages off to properly see-
Wait,
What?
His brain short-circuited.
Beautiful?
What in the ever loving hell possessed him for that word to arise in his head whilst looking at Osamu Dazai. Annoying, troublesome, terrifying and devilishly smart, that was more fitting. Everyone who knew even the slightest of Dazai would agree that this is what he was, and always will be. But somehow he couldn’t stop himself from thinking how alive and free Dazai looked this particular night, under the faint distant light of streetlamps mixed with moonlight from above. Something bubbled up in his stomach, and for a moment he thought he was gonna throw up. Probably the alcohol in his system making him nauseous and think weird shit.
He quickly changed the subject. “Hey, idiot, we forgot to pay our tab. And besides, my coat and yours are still in that damn bar. I hope you have a plan for getting them back because I am not setting foot in there for at least three months.”
“Oh don’t you worry about that. I’ll just send someone in the morning to go fetch them for us.” Dazai chirped happily. “But for now, let’s go back home. Can’t be walking around here all night.”
They started walking back to their apartments swaying slightly, when Chuuya suddenly shivered, only now noticing the cold at this hour. Drunk, without his long, warm coat walking back home suddenly seemed like a really dumb idea, what if he caught a cold? That really didn't seem like a good idea right now, considering he had work in the morning and people were relying on him.
That's when he felt something soft drape over his shoulders and a body staggered closer to him. Dazai had pulled the scarf off his waist and unfolded it, clumsily covering both him and Chuuya with the warm fabric. Even though they were separated by a mere few inches, the close proximity didn't seem to bother Dazai, also considering he was the one who initiated it. Distantly, he wondered why the other didn’t bring up the fact they can just call a taxi if necessary. But if it meant getting to spend time with this version of him then he was keeping his mouth shut.
They walked in silence for a few moments, until Chuuya broke it. An idea had popped in his head. This was his chance.
"Hey shitty Dazai, truth or dare? Since it's my turn now."
"Dare." Dazai replied automatically. But Chuuya had seen it coming, since they only choose dare, carefully avoiding the other possibility the game offered completely.
“Well I dare you to choose truth.”
Dazai turned his head looking slightly surprised, but after a moment he shrugged, responding: “Sure, what do you want to know? I however can’t promise honesty.”
Chuuya kept silent, not asking his question immediately. Was this really a good time to do this? But then again, was there ever gonna be another moment where he would dare? He wasn’t thinking very straight and no doubt the boy next to him wasn’t either, but the question had been burning on his tongue for a very long time; he just really wanted to know. Maybe in the morning this would all be forgotten, but in case he didn’t, he would have to live with Dazai’s answer, whatever it would turn out to be.
“Say, Dazai, why..” He waited a beat. “Why do you actually despise me so much? If anything I have much more a right to hate you, considering you once blackmailed me into joining the Port mafia because otherwise my friends would’ve gotten killed. And besides, I never did anything to make you righteously mad. Never got your friends killed, never gone out of my way to really hurt you. So tell me without lying for once, what’s your real reasoning?”
It was quiet for about two ticks until Dazai broke it, letting out a slight chuckle.
“About time you asked that question. You really wanna know why?” He said. Chuuya nodded.
“It’s because you’re so damn human.”
Huh?
That made Chuuya halter, hearing those words.
Human, him? Sure, he would never be fully certain if he was an artificial or an actual biological human, not that it mattered much to him anymore. However, Dazai hating him because of his faith in Chuuya’s biological humanity was to him a bit of a strange reason for such deep despise.
“You’re gonna have to elaborate you twisted mackerel, I don’t understand.” He replied exasperated. God, why couldn’t that asshole just be clear for once? Always being so cryptic with his fancy words. “Why do you hate me because you’re certain I’m biologically human? How does that even make sense?”
Dazai let out a quiet huff with laugher.
“You’re so despicably and irrevocably human, that’s why. There lies such humanity in you I could never ever possess. I envy you in a way, you know that? To have lived through such suffering and still never seeking death because of it. How do you do it, find meaning in such a terribly uncertain and unfair existence?”
He paused for a moment, lips pursed. Chuuya had turned his head to the side, mouth hanging open in surprise. Is this how he really felt, or was he fucking with him?
“You know, maybe you were never the experiment to begin with. Maybe it was me all along and we simply switched memories. It would explain this robotic, cold feeling I can never quite get rid of.”
For a moment Dazai stared blankly into the space in front of them, eyes unfocussed and stumbling slightly.
“You know why I’m so certain of your humanity?” He continued. “Because someone as distasteful as you, with a fashion style this horrible, the worst anger issues in all of Yokohama, yet such fierce loyalty and sense of undeserving forgiveness could never be an artificially made string of 2,383 lines of code. That’s uniquely you.”
Chuuya couldn’t speak. His thoughts and heart were having a race to see which one could make him say the stupidest thing first, his mouth hung open like a goldfish and without noticing, he’d stopped walking. When Dazai noticed, he stopped walking as well to not lose the warmth of the scarf. He turned towards the ginger, who was blushing furiously, from the tip of his ears down to his neck. A tiny tear was glistening in his eye, and for a moment he looked at Dazai as if he had hung the stars in his sky.
Then he punched him.
The unexpected hit had Dazai stumbling slightly, but upon hearing Chuuya laugh a smile bloomed on his face as well.
“You’re a fucking bastard, you know that right? Usually being all mean to me and then suddenly being all sappy n shit now all of a sudden.” His eyes were glistening, and he quickly wiped them with his sleeve.
“Let’s go to my place. I think I might still have some proper red wine laying around somewhere. And you should shower for once, you reek worse than Mori you know that? Living in that shipping container you call a house really isn’t helping.”
“Hey! It’s not fair comparing me to Mori you stupid snail. And for your information, I last showered exactly two days ago. That’s still pretty recent, water waster.”
“Stinky Dazai, I think that’s gonna be your new nickname from now on if you don’t get your ass in that damn shower as soon as we get home.”
“That’s the worst nickname you’ve come up with so far, please refrain from using that one.”
“Only if you shower.”
“Fine, fine.”
They continued walking together, reaching the busier and fuller streets of Yokohama, still bickering about everything and nothing at the same time. Up high in the sky, a silvery full moon was shining down upon the two. And maybe, just maybe, being together in everything made it worth it.