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Seonghwa didn't notice when it had gotten so bad until his friends had to intervene and take care of him constantly.
Wooyoung had San pin their oldest member down onto the couch, arms restrained against the arm rests whilst shoveling food into his mouth like the angriest mother bird he's ever come across.
Seonghwa just took it. He didn't feel human, nor alive anymore.
Time was a construct he didn't bother to follow any longer. It always brought him a great sense of anxiety, it'd keep him frozen on the spot and ruin him for hours to come.
He hadn't eaten for two days. Hadn't cleaned in a week. Hadn't even gone outside since.
He blinked slowly, that familiar ache in his chest simply resting there, a weight so crushing as if waiting for something to happen.
This was Seonghwa's new normal. After the breakup.
But it seemed like nobody took it any easier than him, maybe even worse.
The way Wooyoung's eyes looked slightly sunken in like he'd been crying in his sleep for weeks on end. If he was exhausted, he didn't speak of it. San wasn't any better, his eyes were already small enough so he could hide it a little better. But not with Seonghwa, never with Seonghwa. His eyes were practically bloodshot red.
Everyone had been crying relentlessly as if mourning someone who was very well and very alive.
Everything was agonizing. He didn't want them to hurt like this. He didn't want them to hurt at all in fact, he hadn't intended for this to not only blow up on him, but onto everyone he loved as well.
The heaviness within his chest felt like it was going to cave his ribs in and puncture his lungs. That didn't sound too bad right now.
The break up was calmly mutual. It was a means to an end, they both saw it coming. But that didn't make it ache any less. Frankly, it made it worse.
Hongjoong wasn't a crier, not as much as Seonghwa, but they held each other for an entire two hours, helplessly sobbing and apologizing for the way things had to end.
Hongjoong had his suitcases packed a few days afterwards. Precisely at midnight. Ready to finally explore himself as a new person.
Seonghwa had congratulated him, of course he did. Hongjoong was passionate, extremely smart as well. Of course he possessed goals bigger than this Earth and fought tooth and nail to achieve every single one of them. But the goals didn't seem to align with their relationship. With Seonghwa.
He had noticed the few cracks early on. Way too early on.
"Joongie?"
No response. The man was sat right next to him eyes glued onto the screen whilst he typed away at a paragraph with speeds that bordered on madness.
"Hongjoong-ya, you haven't touched your food. You-"
"I know, love. I'll eat just now. Hold on." He'd muttered half-heartedly. It wasn't mean, far from it. He still kept the same sweet tone, still kept the petname.
But it felt hollow to Seonghwa. Lots of their conversations were beginning to feel that way. It shouldn't have. But it did and he hated it.
That was the first time the resentment built.
Seonghwa wasn't one to complain, he'd usually let Hongjoong take the lead and simply back the man up.
The leader and his right-hand, if you will. That was what their respective groups had called them. And...
"God! You two bicker like you're an old married couple, just kiss and make up already." Yunho whined with a disgusted pout on his face whilst Mingi was draping himself over the taller man.
"No, but I'm right!" Hongjoong snapped, throwing a pillow toward Seonghwa. "My sneakers are always at the door, he's accusing me of messing the house—"
Seonghwa could not help but to let out a laugh. That was a fun night. Lots of stupid arguments over little domestic things such as where things were supposed to be to satisfy Seonghwa's clean freak mind.
Hongjoong had left his shoes near to the door, his favourite sneakers that surprisingly still looked new despite how much wear he got out of them.
Seonghwa did remember requesting for him to at least hang it up onto the shoe rack to prevent possible tripping because he knew how clumsy Hongjoong could be.
"My star, you're being dramatic."
"You trip over your own feet, how exactly am I being dramatic?"
"That happens to everyone!-"
"Not as often as you!-"
"Hyung," Wooyoung called out, pulling Seonghwa from his memory filled thoughts as he set a hand to his forehead, "You're burning up."
Burning up? Now? Wasn't it summer time? He didn't usually get sick during that time of the year...
Guess that goes to show how much Hongjoong healed his life. Now he's getting sick in the hottest times of the year for reasons he could not name.
He sighed, slumping deeper into the couch. Defeat buried deep within his bones.
What was Hongjoong doing now? Surely his plane would've landed a few hours ago, Seonghwa didn't know, he hadn't checked the time for obvious reasons.
Speaking of time, he'd have to change his wallpaper soon as well.
He knew it like the back of his hand. The cutest photo of Hongjoong he'd ever taken. His bright star filled eyes crinkled from that charming smile he loved ever so much. His gorgeous, perfect teeth practically glowing as he had his hands pressed against his cheeks to appear cute, the little shining pearls stark against his warm skin.
The outfit was what sold it as his favourite picture in his entire gallery combined, and there were thousands of contenders. It was for a halloween party Wooyoung decided to host. Hongjoong decided to come as a fairy and if it wasn't just the sweetest thing he'd ever seen... His wings were a shimmery yellow, perfectly contrasting with the pink frilly skirt he'd chosen over white wide-legged pants and a white shirt beautifully decorated with little golden pearls draping over from collar to collar. His shoes were just as wonderfully decorated. Simple white boots that he'd glitter-bombed to make them glimmer in the dark and in all their pictures.
Everyone was a big Hongjoong fan that day. Daresay promising fighters for the number one Hongsami. In fact, Hongjoong was the cutest person he's ever had the fortune to come across.
Everything he did twisted his heart in ways he couldn't believe. And he knew he wasn't alone in the sentiment.
"Hyung. You danced perfectly! But- but just look at him!!" Wooyoung cried out, nearly dropping to his knees if he hadn't been holding onto San's shoulder to keep him upright. "Joongie hyung, do it again, please!"
"Please, just one more time!", more voices overlapped over one another as they all begged their hyung to do the dance all over again.
The man simply sighed, ducked his head with that usual embarrassed smile before doing as they had so enthusiastically asked. His wings suspiciously fluttering as if he was a genuine fairy.
The room erupted with coos and screams.
That was a wonderful day. He misses it, he misses how everything was before. They were so freely happily, as if nothing in the world could break them out from their element.
He sighed, staring at the way San's fingers ran through Wooyoung's hair. Silent support. Seemed like they all needed it...
His eyes automatically glide over to the window outside, a habit he'd inherited from several nights Hongjoong and Seonghwa spent stargazing. He stared out at the inky black sky dotted with speckled stars that twinkle back at him. It felt... easy. As if the world didn't hold him down to his problems anymore. As if nothing was all that major.
Huh, that must've been why Hongjoong loved the activity that much...
He couldn't help it, but it felt almost as if Hongjoong were communicating through the stars. Maybe he was this whole time and Seonghwa didn't manage to catch it.
You were my enough, star.