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This was a bad idea. 

Bruce knew this was a bad idea, but Jason had insisted and he was in no position to tell that boy no. If Jason wanted to don the suit for the night he was going to, whether Bruce gave him permission or not. It was better Robin was by Batman's side where Bruce knew he could protect him from the dangers Jason was inevitably going to land himself in front of anyways.

Besides, this was Jason's third night as Robin, and he's had plenty of training. Dick was out on the field with much less practice, a mistake Bruce wasn't willing to make again, and Jason was doing exceptional in the role. Just last week he had handled a couple of Penguins goons without the need of Bruce's aid. Of course Batman had kept an eye on him while he took down Cobblepot, ready to step in if anything went awry, but he hadn't needed to. Robin had it taken care of in less than 5 minutes, insanely impressive for a kid his age. 

If Jason could pull something like that, then this idea wasn't nearly as bad as Bruce was making it out to be. 

Batman and Robin stood at the top of a tall building surveying the abandoned one down below. Batman kneeled down to stay hidden within the shadows as men carrying boxes without labels passed by each other, entering the building with the large wooden crates, and exiting without them. An obvious transfer. Comically suspicious. Batman sank deeper into the shadows as one of the men handling a box stopped in his tracks to glance around. Robin stretched his small head further over the building for a better look. 

No, Bruce was right the first time, this is a horrible idea.

"Robin." Batman whisper-yelled. He was already on edge tonight, he really didn't need to worry about his kid who'd forgotten the number one rule of a stakeout: blend in. "Please," Batman lowered his voice, "take your head away from their eyesight." 

Robin jumped in realization, "Oh!" His head shot back into the shadows next to Batman. "Sorry Br-uhm, Batman."

Batman sighed. 

"Thank you." Bruce relaxed. "What did you notice while you were risking our cover?"

Robin shot Batman a look, then tilted his head in thought, "I mean, not much. Those boxes they're carrying seem to be pretty heavy, if they pause while carrying them they don't stand still for long so I'd imagine they want to get rid of the weight as quick as possible."

"Or whoever they're working for doesn't have patience for slacking off." Batman chimed in.

Robin glanced at Batman. 

"Yeah, or that."

Whether it was a good idea bringing Jason here or not, Bruce wanted to utilize every opportunity he could muster as a teaching moment. Being a vigilante doesn't come easily, especially for someone as young as his new Robin, so if he had the chance to insert a new moment of understanding with his ward he would take it.

"It's important to evaluate all potential possibilities. The boxes could be heavy, but are their knees bent? Are they readjusting as the boxes slip from their grip. Are they sweating from the excessive amounts of lifting they are partaking in?"

Robin lifted his head to peek over the edge of the building, this time careful to stay in the shadows next to Batman. 

After a few seconds of observation, he looked back to Batman. "Guess not."

Bruce smiled. "Good." After making sure no goons had the bright idea to look up to the roof of the building they overlooked from, Batman raised his head to watch over the men again. "What do you think could be in the boxes then? There's mass amounts of whatever it is, if it's the same material at all, it's not heavy enough to strain while lifting in copious amounts, and they're in a hurry to hand it over to whomever is in that building." Batman nodded towards the dusty warehouse.

Robin's face scrunched in thought. After a beat of silence Bruce began to doubt his ward's ability to answer. Perhaps he was putting too much pressure on the kid. This was a lot, even for someone like Batman detective work can be tedious. Jason was new to this, he hadn't given him enough time to understand these things, maybe Bruce should just-

"Chemicals? Or medical equipment of some kind? It's not weaponry, guns would be heavy and that's too many crates for an unnecessary amount of knives. We could be dealing with someone like Bane? Maybe he's getting a new shipment of Venom. Or maybe something for Freeze, but I don't see ice of any kind around..." Robin trailed off, his thumb and index finger made their way up to his chin, a habit he had most likely adapted from watching Bruce as he sat in front of the Bat-computer reviewing various cases. "Or maybe.." He looked up at Batman, Bruce couldn't tell if the look on Jason's face was meant to express excitement or anxiety. "Maybe it's Scarecrow."

Bruce hoped Jason expressed the latter. His gut told him this case was probably Scarecrow adjacent. When Jason had insisted on going with him he had told him it wasn't a great idea tonight, but Jason pushed and Bruce longed for his gut to be wrong, for this case to be someone who posed a lower threat. Someone like Poison Ivy or Mr. Freeze who in most cases kept to themselves unless interrupted, someone who's motivations were mostly pure, but people got in the way. 

But the Scarecrow... Scarecrow was different.

He wanted to hurt people. It was his driving passion. Batman had dealt with Crane enough to understand his methods, he knew how to deal with the toxins, whether that be with a mask, or pure willpower. Bruce wasn't afraid of much, Scarecrow could dredge up some of his deepest fears but even then he could resist the urge to cower.

Jason had never dealt with Scarecrow before.

He was still staring up at Bruce with those eyes. Those eyes that by the minute looked more and more like they expressed excitement over anxiety. Batman knew he should've pushed harder, should've had Alfred watch Jason while he dealt with this one on his own. 

"I think you should stay back for this one."

Robin's face dropped.

"What? But you said I could-"

"Yes, that was before. The Scarecrow isn't some low-level goon, he's dangerous Robin."

"I don't care, I'm supposed to be by you're side, I'm supposed to help."

"Not this time."

"Yes, this time."

"Jason..." Bruce grumbled.

"Bruce."

Bruce studied Jason's face. He was stern, unmoving. Nothing Bruce could say was going to change his mind, he knew that when he heard about the case, he knew that when he told Jason he would be going out for the night, he knew that when Jason followed him out of the Bat-cave. He knows this now. 

Batman sighed, looking away from Robin. 

"Fine, but you will do as I say, you will follow my orders."

"Yes! Okay!" Robin exclaimed. 

"I mean it Robin. Do not mess around, this is serious." Bruce made sure his voice was as stern as he could muster to really drive the point, then he dug into his belt and pulled out two masks. "And put this on."

Robin took the mask from Batman's grasp.

"Gas mask? This works on fear toxin?"

"Yes, this one does." Batman decidedly added no context, if Jason was going to follow his order's he needed to trust in Batman's judgements without question.

To Batman's relief, Robin took a few seconds to stare him down before conceding and pulling the mask over his head.

"I look amazing in this, don't I." 

Bruce gave Jason a small smile. "I think it's your color."

That resulted in a small laugh from Jason, which eased Batman's nerves. Which were immediately heightened again when a scream rang out from inside the abandoned warehouse. 

Both Batman and Robin shot up in immediate attention. Batman grabbed for his grappling hook a few seconds before Robin did, just as he was about to leap off the building, he stopped himself. 

He was going to need to be a lot more tactile dealing with the Scarecrow, he can't jump in at the first scream he hears with Robin by his side he needs to be-

Jason jumped. 

Batman sighed, and promptly followed.

The box-carrying men weren't a problem, fairly easy when most of them only had a pocketknife on them, and were surprised by Batman and Robin's presence. Robin took half of them while Batman took the other half.

After a few minutes a few more men ran out of the abandoned building, either one of the men had gotten away long enough to warn whoever was inside, or they weren't being stealthy enough, which would make sense considering Jason had grappled down right into a few of the men, knocking out about 3 of them in the process.

Batman would be proud if he wasn't already riddled with nerves. Scarecrow would've been easier to tackle with a stealthier method, which was in no way going to happen now. 

Instead Bruce decided in taking down as many of the box-men as he could, it would be easier to deal with Scarecrow's antics uninterrupted. Crane was someone who required full attentiveness. 

Robin dropped the last man in sight and stood up, catching his breath.

"Do you see anyone else?" He said in between breaths.

"No one outside, I wouldn't be surprised if there are more inside waiting for us." Bruce lowered to the ground to pry open one of the crates. It was dropped by one of the men Robin had swung into so it was considerably looser than the other boxes littering the ground.

Inside, the box was lined with hay that cushioned about fifteen small glass vials. The vials held some sort of liquid, an ingredient to create fear toxin, Batman assumed. 

Beside him Robin pried open another crate. This one contained approximately three dozen needle syringes.

Robin stilled before pushing the box away. 

"Robin?"

"Yeah..." Jason swallowed. "Yeah, I'm good. So it's definitely Scarecrow?"

"Almost certainly." 

"Great." 

Jason's mood had shifted, Bruce had noticed. He was so eager to face the Scarecrow not ten minutes ago, he should be bolting towards the door ready to kick Crane's ass straight to Arkham. Yet here he stood, tense. 

"Robin."

"I said I'm good B."

Bruce placed a firm hand on Jason's shoulder. 

"It's not too late, you've helped. You can stay back and keep watch if you would like."

"No!" Robin cleared his throat. "No I want to do this. This is what we do, I want to do it."

Batman scanned Robin's face, allowing a moment to pass in case he wanted to change his mind. When Robin stood his ground Batman squeezed his shoulder before letting go. 

"Alright." Batman analyzed the building, there was no noise coming from inside. The parties inside undoubtedly knew they were outside and were waiting inside. Taking the front door was untactful and dangerous, they would expect that. "We can't go in through the front. They know we're here."

"Roof?" Robin asked.

"Roof." Batman answered.

During their initial observation of the warehouse Bruce had noticed a few large holes, resulting from years of decay, that served as a good drop in for a surprise attack. Well, the attack wouldn't be much of a surprise at this point, but the area they dropped in from could certainly be a shock.

Once Batman and Robin had reached the top of the warehouse they peered inside one of the openings. Inside was dark, too dark to do anything really. Any light the men had been using to work was most likely turned out when the sounds of men dropping outside alerted them off the pair. Smart. The light from the moon shone through some windows and the holes in the roof, illuminating few areas in the building. Mostly the light shone on crates and dirt, but in the far left corner the outline of a few men wielding guns could be seen. They could work with that, go from there. Batman and Robin worked in the shadows, they can work in the dark.

Batman gestured towards the men.

"We need to be stealthy about this. If we can't see, neither can they. If we take out a few at a time, without noise, they won't notice until it's too late."

Robin nodded.

"They have guns, won't they shoot?"

"Not if we're quick." 

Robin looked towards the men.

"Robin I need to know you have this under control."

"Yes, Batman." The inflection in Robin's voice was subtle, but still hinted at annoyance. "I've got it."

"Good. I'll go first. You follow. Keep talking to a minimum."

Robin zipped his lips.

"Good." Batman whispered before anchoring his grappling hook to the top of the building and slowly lowering down to the first goon in sight.

He worked quick, took down as many as he could with little to no noise. He couldn't see Robin but he knew he had come down after him when he had only needed to subdue three of the five men he had counted initially.

Now came the hard part.

Staying low to the ground Batman tried to adjust his eyes to the dark without luck, instead substituting his ears and hands for eyes. 

Hearing a sniffle, or a shift as an armed man shifted from one foot to the other. Following the sound until he came into quick contact with the criminal, lowering them to the ground without sound, counting each one as he went.

One, seven, thirteen...

On the fifteenth person Bruce was startled by a yell from across the room.

The lights flashed on and Batman couldn't see as his eyes readjusted. When his eyes finally allowed him to see in the light he scanned his surroundings, everyone around him laid on the ground unconscious. On the other side of the room, a few people laid incapacitated by Robin's hand, but he was being held in the air by his collar by a man with a pocket knife. Jason struggled to break free but the man's knife shoved up to his throat in an attempt to keep him where he was. 

Batman's heart rate spiked, he acted quickly, aiming a batarang at the man's head, knocking him to the ground. Batman ran to Robin and picked him up by his arm.

"Are you okay?" Batman asked, stern and concerned as he scanned Jason for injuries.

Jason coughed, but quickly answered. "Yeah, yes. I'm good."

In the struggle Jason had lost his mask. Batman quickly scanned the area for where it had gone to no prevail.

"Where is your mask?"

"Yes little bird, where is your mask?"

Batman and Robin both looked up to search for the new voice.

Scarecrow stood in the middle of the room, his face twisted into a maniacal grin. In one hand he held what seemed to be a vial, not the ones from the crates, this one was almost as large as his head. In the other hand, he held up Robin's mask. 

Scarecrow threw the vial down, crashing it on the floor as gas filled the room.

Bruce struggled to take off his own mask, trying to hand it to Jason in time.

Before he could take off the mask Jason was pulling it back over his face.

"Robin you need-"

"No keep it, I'll- I'll be okay. I can deal with it."

"Robin, you can't. You don't know what it's like, I do. Let me."

"It's too late Bruce." Jason said quietly.

Batman glanced back to where the gas had originated, it was already far too close. Jason was right, it was too late.

Bruce knew this was a bad idea.

Batman looked back at Robin, who shut his eyes tight. The toxin was already in his system. He had the antidote back at the Batcave, he needs to take Jason there he can't let him go through this. 

Bruce moved to grab Jason but was shoved away.

"Just-" Jason grabbed his head. "Just take Crane, worry about me later."

"Ja- Robin..." Bruce tried again.

"Just go!" Robin yelled, stumbling backwards. 

Again, stubborn boy.

Batman pried his eyes away from Jason, to stare down the Scarecrow, who was attempting to break for the door. 

Grappling to the roof, Batman swung as hard as could into Crane, knocking him into a pile of crates beside the door, breaking a few of them open. Needles and vials rolled on the floor next to Scarecrow. 

As a last ditch attempt to escape Crane swept a syringe from the floor and aimed for Batman's leg, which instead kicked Crane in the face.

Finally unconscious, Batman dragged him by his collar to the other side of the room and tied him to a nearby pipe.

Performing a quick scan of the room Batman concluded the situation was taken care of, and he could take Jason back to the Batcave and they could forget about the whole thing for a while.

Except in Bruce's quick scan, he didn't see Jason. 

Hoping he had just missed him the first time he scanned the room again. Nothing.

"Robin?" Bruce shouted.

Worry shot throughout Bruce's body. He knew he shouldn't have taken Jason here. He knew better. Now Jason had probably slipped out the door while he was taking care of Crane and he would be all alone with the fear. The fear Bruce knew all too well could be detrimental to a boy so young, a boy so small.

"Robin!" Bruce shouted louder. Nothing. 

Bruce cursed under his breath. His mind wandered to all the possibilities, he'd probably find Jason dead in a ditch, or floating in the river, all because he couldn't say no. Because he couldn't fucking say no. Stupid. Bruce was so stupid.

His hands started to shake, this was all his fault.

He was about to yell again when he heard a faint whimper.

"Robin?" Batman spun on his feet, turning towards the noise. Nothing, nothing except...

Behind the boxes that had fallen over in the struggle between Batman and Crane there was a small shadow hidden in the crevices of the crates.

Batman rushed over and pushed over the crates.

He sighed in relief when he saw Robin hiding in the far corner, pressed between the wall and the boxes.

He took a step forward, eager to take Robin home.

"Please!" Robin practically screamed.

Batman stopped in his tracks.

"Please, leave me alone, I-I don't want to, you can't make me." Jason shriveled in on himself, he wrapped his arms tight around his middle and backed himself even further into the corner.

"Robin, it's me." Batman tried.

"No, no, no, no, no..." Robin whispered, tears streamed down from behind his mask, his breathing was erratic, as if his lungs weren't receiving enough oxygen.

Jason needed the cure. Now. 

Batman glanced around. No one was conscious enough to understand their surroundings, and Bruce didn't know what else to do. He'd have to risk it.

Bruce lowered his cowl and lowered himself to his knees, trying to stay on level with Jason.

"Jason." Bruce allowed his voice to take on a soothing tone, he didn't need to scare his son more than he already was. "Jason it's just me. Do you recognize me, chum?"

Jason slowly picked his head up from where it rested in his arms. The tears that stained his cheeks made Bruce's heart ache.

"I- I don't-, I don't..." Jason hiccuped through his sentence. "I'm so- please don't make me." 

"Don't make you what, lad?"

Jason glanced down at the crate's spillage. Bruce followed his gaze.

"I don't want to, it hurt her. It'll hurt me too. Ple-please don't make me." 

Of course. 

Needles.

Jason had only talked briefly to Bruce about his mother's addiction, but Bruce knew. Of course he had, Bruce did his research. He knew exactly what drugs his mother did, where she got them, how she would have Jason help her load them into her system. He knew that when she died it ruined Jason's father, and how not long after, his dad left one day and didn't come back. He knew where he went, and he knew he was probably dead. 

"Oh, Jason. I would never."

Jason cowered in the corner, Bruce knew his reassurance was not going to get him very far. This wasn't a simple case of a scared little kid, this one had fear toxin running through his veins. Bruce was running out of ideas, and patience. If he waited here it would only get worse, but Jason didn't want Bruce anywhere near him. The antidote was in the Batcave and there was no way he was going to leave Jason alone while he fetched it. 

"Please forgive me, I promise I won't hurt you."

Bruce inched forward, his palms face outwards to try and signal he was in no way a threat.

This did nothing and Jason tried to scramble even further into the corner he had backed himself into.

"NO! Please! I'll do anything just leave me alone, please I won't tell- please let me go, please!"

Bruce felt tears burn in his eyes, this was torture. 

Nevertheless, Bruce wrapped his arms as gently as he could around the shaking boy, who quickly changed strategies from pleading to violence. Hitting Bruce's face and chest with his fists and kicking his abdomen with his feet.

Bruce endured the bruising, as he held Jason tightly and grappled out of the building. He'd call Gordon later to let him know of the mess he'd left behind. Right now he had to last through the wailing in his ear as he soared through the sky with Jason in his arms. 

Landing next to the batmobile Bruce struggled to buckle Jason into the passenger seat while he still punched and kicked as hard as he could.

Bruce raced through Gotham. He couldn't take seeing Jason like this anymore.

By the time they arrived at the Batcave Jason had shouted himself hoarse. 

Bruce left Jason buckled and bolted for the antidote.

Grateful that Alfred kept everything in the medical bay extremely organized Bruce grabbed the antidote and quickly filled a syringe with it. 

Opening Jason's car door and kneeling next to him, Jason had made himself as small as possible in the car seat as he sobbed covering his ears with tightly shut eyes, Bruce tried to take his arm. 

Jason quickly yanked his arm back, opening his eyes wide. His gaze landed on the syringe and his breathing quickened again.

"No! Please! I'm sorry- I-I won't be bad again, I won't! Please don't, please!" 

Bruce felt his heart break. He made a mental note that they would need to figure out a different way to administer the antidote later. For now, Jason would have to live through this. Bruce hoped he wouldn't remember.

"I'm so sorry lad."

Bruce grabbed his arm firm, trying to make sure he didn't move too much while the needle went into his skin.

jason screamed. Jason screamed in a way that made Bruce realize he would never forget. Jason would wake up to nightmares about this night. Bruce would comfort Jason of course, but he doesn't know how comforting he would be considering he was the one who caused this. All of this, he brought Jason with him. He let him enter the building. He let him lose his mask. He went after Scarecrow instead of taking Jason back home immediately. 

He put the needle in his arm.

Bruce felt tears stream down his cheeks, and he watched Jason pass out as he removed the needle from his skin.

*

Jason didn't wake for a couple hours. 

Bruce had moved him from the car to the medbay bed, where Alfred had offered to hook him up to an IV. Bruce knew it would probably be best, medically, for Jason, but after all that, he didn't think Jason needed more needles in his skin. They would deal with the consequences later. For now the antidote was enough. 

Bruce stayed by Jason's side the entire time. His eyes had gone red from sleep deprivation and the occasional crying. He had done this. Jason would never forgive him. 

Still, Bruce held tightly onto Jason's hand. He didn't know if he did it for Jason, or for himself, but he didn't let go. 

Jason stirred on the bed and Bruce shot up from where he sat back in his chair.

"Hey, Jaylad."

Jason opened his eyes and glanced around. His eyes drew wide and his breathing began to pick up.

"Hey, Jason. Look at me lad? You're okay. You're home." 

Jason darted his eyes until he landed on Bruce.

"Hey Jay." Bruce brushed Jason's hair back from his face. 

Something in Jason must've broken at that, because his face scrunched in an attempt to stifle a sob that inevitably happened anyways.

Bruce was about to pull back, understanding that Jason probably felt unsafe in Bruce's care after what he had done, when Jason shot up and buried his face in Bruce's shoulder, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck.

Bruce hesitated before reciprocating the hug, supporting Jason's back with one hand and using the other to run his fingers through his son's hair, attempting to soothe the young boy as best he knew how.

Jason cried into Bruce's shirt, leaving a stain that Bruce didn't care to worry about. He rubbed up and down Jason's back and shushed him, placing a gentle kiss in his hair. 

Jason's crying ceased, but he didn't pull back from the hug, and Bruce didn't either. He needed this just as much as Jason did. 

"I'm sorry, Bruce." Jason spoke, his voice shaky and muffled by Bruce's shoulder.

"For what Jay?" Bruce's voice wanted to break as well, but he kept it strong for Jason's sake. He could break later.

"I hurt you. I didn't mean to..."

He remembered. Of course he remembered. 

Bruce squeezed his eyes shut. He could live in his self pity later. Jason needed him right now.

"No, Jay, it wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have-" so much for living in his pity later, "you shouldn't have been in that situation. I will never let that happen again. Do you hear me?"

Bruce pulled back to hold Jason's face in his hands, looking him in the eyes. "Never again."

Jason's eyes were red and puffy, tear stains streaked his cheeks. Bruce took the opportunity to wipe away any lasting tears with his thumbs, then leave a quick kiss on his forehead. 

"Do you want to... do you want to talk about it Jay?" 

"I don't think so. Not right now." Jason shook his head. "It's- it feels like a lot."

Bruce gave Jason a small, sad smile. "It feels that way because it is."

"I still feel scared, Bruce." 

Jason looked at Bruce with those sad blue eyes that Bruce never wanted to see hurt again. 

"I know. Can I tell you a secret?"

Jason nodded.

"I still feel scared, too."

Jason gave a teary smiled, "no you're- you're the Batman what do you have to be scared of?"

"Hurting you, losing you, seeing you scared. It was all scary, I didn't inhale any of Crane's toxins but he still scared me half to death."

"Because of me?"

"Yeah." Bruce pulled Jason back into a hug. "Because of you, Jay."