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Blue knows it was foolish. Angel, you could even call it childish.
Very early into their relationship, he knew morning cuddles were a rare occasion as, Yellow, his dear, sweet, *beloved* Yellow, woke up at the *literal crack of dawn*. It was like he had an internal rooster in his head that screamed at him at 5:00 am, which, in all actuality, Blue wouldn’t be surprised if he did. The cowboy said he usually left so early because ‘JUSTICE never sleeps’ but… Blue, in all truth, misses his love and wishes to wake up beside him.
Instead of communicating this, however, in fear that Yellow might end up in a ditch he had dug for himself, Blue created something for his lonely mornings. A stuffed cow. Large, fluffy, gold, and squishy. It wasn’t better than his lovely cowboy, of course, but it’s a nice substitute and he’s quite proud of his creation.
His reputation would certainly be ruined if ever anyone found out though! So, whenever someone entered, he forced the toy under his bed.
Until the faithful day that Yellow had discovered his secret.
It was after one of his rehearsals, well into the afternoon. He had a performance in two days for everyone in the castle so, he had to pick one of his more strenuous dances. So it’d be more impactful, of course!
Anyways. He had been practicing nonstop since lunch and was utterly exhausted by roughly 3:00 pm. And, unlike his younger siblings Seth and Aqua, when he was tired, he actually slept instead of complaining about being put to bed.
He went to his room, shut the door, and not even bothering to get into a more comfortable attire, he put on his bonnet, grabbed the stuffed bull from underneath the bed frame, collapsed onto the mattress, and, holding the plushie close, soon drifted off to sleep.
————————————
In truth, he had no idea how long he was asleep for. All he knew was that in an hour or two of blissful dreams, he was awoken by a voice calling out to him from outside his room and a set of knocks.
His eyes peaked open as Yellow, his best friend and love of his life, came into the room, a slow, sleepy smile coming across his face as he was too tired to acknowledge the secret he held in his arms.
“Hi darling…” he greets, his voice low and raspy like it usually was when he awoke, his gaze half lidded and his hand reaching for the other to hold.
The cowboy’s expression flickered with shock at the stuffed cow in Blue’s arms, not to mention the tone he rarely heard from his partner, but it quickly shifted back to his usual soft smile as his eyes landed on his lover’s adoring face.
“Howdy there, baby Blue,” Yellow responded, walking over to him and, standing at the edge of his mattress, taking his partner’s hand, as requested. In truth, he could never deny Blue anything.
“Whatcha got there?”
‘Now what does that mean?’ Blue wondered, his brow furrowing in confusion with the slightest tilt of his head.
…
…
… then it clicked. In a moment, his half lidded gaze shot up. As did he, and, automatically, a butterfly as white as snow covered his face.
Mr. Butterfly makes his appearance, flustered and at a loss for words. He chucked the toy behind him, after which, he folds his arms over his chest with a scoff of denial.
“Wh-what? Nothing. What are you talking about?” he squeaks, taking his bonnet off and tossing it away as well. Wow. He’s *totally* doing a good job remaining composed.
Yellow blinks.
“The… cow feller? The one y’where cuddlin’ with befer I came in here?”
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
To this, the JUSTICE slowly tilted to look behind him, watching as Mr. Butterfly got increasingly more agitated, the sky wings on his back fluttering unhappily behind him. Yellow shifted back, and taking initiative, he cupped the other flowers face, gently nudging the creature off his lover.
“Shoo, shoo, get on, will ya’? I’d like to talk to Blue right now, if that’s alright.”
The mask had dropped just as quickly as it appeared with Mr. Butterfly’s wings shutting and fading, leaving only a plum blushed Blue staring up at him.
Yellow knelt down so they were eye level, his hand never leaving the latter’s cheek.
“Y’know you can talk to me about anythin’, starlight… would ya mind tellin’ me what’s goin’ on?”
… it took a long while of Blue contemplating. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust his lover, of course he did! He was just beyond embarrassed about this situation, and he didn’t want to make Yellow feel bad. But there Yellow sat, patiently waiting with his hand remaining against his partner’s cheek in silent comfort and support.
So in the end, Blue came to a decision.
“… I miss you,” he admitted shakily, his gaze growing misty in his shame, “in the mornings. You always leave before I can wake to find you there by my side, for JUSTICE waits for no one but… I guess I just wish JUSTICE waits for me…?” His arms, that were still wound around his chest, tightened in an attempt at self comfort, while his head leaned into his lover’s touch. “So, in my loneliness I… made the stuffed animal to hold when you aren’t around. It’s such a selfish and foolish situation on my part, I know, but I wish I could wake beside you and we could remain in slumberous embrace for just a few moments more when we are both conscious enough to acknowledge it. I wanted to tell you but-“
He was then suddenly cut off as the familiar and lanky arms of the flower he held so dear, hugged him close. Blue, shocked by the sudden affection, quickly melted into Yellow’s chest, wrapping his arm around his lover, hands clasping at the corn scented vest the other always wore. He couldn’t help his astonishment, not because Yellow didn’t like or offer physical comfort- no, quite the opposite! He was just expecting the usual reaction of self-deprecation and punishment. He supposed his several conversations with him finally started to work!
“Oh Bluebell, I’m mighty sorry fer upsettin’ ya like this-“
Well. This is better than him immediately wanting to lock himself in the jail cell. He’s talking to him, like Blue asked. This was major improvement to his rash actions before and the ballrino can’t help but be proud of his partner for the progress he’s made.
But now was not the time to celebrate.
“You didn’t upset me, darling. You couldn’t have possibly known.”
“I know but… oh, I dunno, I can’t help but feel guilty!” Yellow cried, leaning back to look Blue in his teary eyes, his own eyes mimicking, “I hope ya don’t think I’m questionin’ y’ o’ nunin’!
“Shhh, you needn’t fret so, my love. I’m aware of what you meant. Yet, you often feel guilty for things that were out of your control,” Blue responded softly, leaning once again into the gentle touch of the sheriff’s palm against his cheek, as if the latter was terrified the simplest touch would break him.
Oh, how he adored this man… why did he ever question telling him? Further yet, how was he, himself, still keeping his composure at the moment? It was quite baffling, honestly.
“Yer right Blue, ya’ always are, but y’know I can’t help feelin’ so,” the cowboy murmured solemnly, pulling the dancer back in and resting his chin on the top of the smaller flower’s skull. “I can’t ’magine how y’musta’ felt an’-an’ I wish I coulda seen that y’ needed me ‘round, y’know? If I were you, I’d be a complete deesaster!”
At that point, his tone took a certain lightness to it, looking over at the stuffed bull with a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “In truth, I find it mighty impressive thatcha made this beauty all on y’r own, even if I wish I coulda been here in place of it. Although, I reckon I can’t be too sirprised. Y’r the most talented person I know!”
…
Well, there went his composure. Yellow’s self-deprecating words always caused cracks, but his kindness in times like this hits like the final nail in the coffin. Goodness, he must be tired if he was crying over something so… unimportant.
“You- you mean it?” Blue whispered in effort to keep his voice from breaking, fat blobs of water beginning to roll down with the weakest, guiltiest hitches in his lungs. “You don’t think I’m a ‘criminell’ for hiding this from you? Y-you don’t think I’m pathetic or anything of the sort?” His eyes, which had been previously nestled in the other’s shoulder, lifted to stare pleadingly, almost desperately, for comfort.
Yellow happily obliged, hand running slowly down the expanse of his partner’s back, in between his wings and up his spine.
“No, baby Blue. I could never. Y’know that…”
“I’m so sorry,” he sobbed quietly, as if afraid people could hear him from outside his room, “I feel absolutely terrible f-for hiding this from you and i-it- *-sniff-* feels silly now, being scared to tell you in fear that you’d see me differently.”
“Shhhh, none of that now, you ain’t got nothin’ to be sorry fer,” the other soothed, “dontchu cry, starlight. I gotcha… shhhhhh…”
It wasn’t often he got to see Blue insecure like this. Before they started dating, Yellow always assumed the dancer knew himself better than anyone else. He always seemed so confident in his identity, but now, Yellow recognized it was just his mask, as the performer never seems to stop performing when in public. In truth, he was just as unsure and scared as the rest of them, yet always played the role of the protector and the comforting one for everyone in the castle. Especially the smaller flowers… and Yellow. So, of course, the cowboy was always willing to help the man he loved. He deserved the same love and patience as he gave everyone else.
In a couple of minutes, Blue had calmed down significantly. At this point, Yellow had started running his hand through the other’s head of periwinkle locks, and the two remained in that position for some time. That is, until the sheriff had an idea, and gently pulled away to look his beloved partner in the eyes, watching as the dancer sniffles and wipes away his tears.
“Tell ya what. Why don’t I make up fer some of our missed cuddles right now? Would that be alright with you?”
Blue didn’t even need a moment of thought before a small, tired smile broke across and he nodded. “Nothing would please me more,” he replied, leaning up and pressing his lips to his beloved’s cheek. “Thank you, daffodil, for everything.”
The cowboy flushes marigold, and with his usual silly giggle, returns the kiss to the shorter flower’s forehead. “I-it ain’t nothing Blue. Come on, let’s getcha comfortable.”
With that, the two laid down, limbs intertwined and relaxed in one another’s embrace. Blue had shut his eyes after a moment or two while Yellow shifted to stare up at the ceiling, slowly rubbing the other’s back.
————————————
“What bothers you so, my love?” The dancer asked after what felt like an hour of silence, not even bothering to peak an eye open. Yellow at that point thought he’d fallen asleep, but it didn’t surprise him that Blue caught on to him being upset.
Blue could always read him like that.
“I jus’… wish you felt safe enough that y’coulda… yknow, come talk t’ me ‘bout it,” he answered with a weak shrug. The latter gasps, holding a palm over his lips for a moment, before cradling the cowboy’s head in his hands.
“Oh Yellow, my dearest, it was never about me not feeling safe around you. It was more that I knew how much being a JUSTICE means to you and… I didn’t want to upset you by asking. Not to mention my internal struggle to be… myself, I suppose. It’s a selfish desire, as I said. I wouldn’t want you to be unhappy in exchange of my request.”
At that, the cowboy’s hat tilted, shadowing over his face.
“Blue, I can’t ever be unhappy because of you or *doing* something for you. Y’re the most important person in my life an’ you can *always* come to lil’ ol’ me if ya’ need me. I know there ain’t much I can do mosta th’ time. I ain’t all that smart an’ I ain’t that good with words but I’d do *anythin’* fer ya.”
…
“Yellow, you often believe my words, do you not?” Blue asked, tilting the hat back up.
The latter, so shocked his hat went in flight, nodded eagerly. “O’course Blue, always!”
“Then believe me when I say I would love nothing more than to tell you my words when they come into fruition. You are kind. You are smart. You are loved, for I will love you endlessly, always and forever.”
Well gosh, now he was misty eyes. Again
“M-my tin stars Blue I-I don’ know what t’ say! I- um-… I love ya too… more than you could ever know,” Yellow stammered, leaning down to pull the ballerino into a kiss.
“Mm- blu-hu-hu! I would repeat it, but I fear I’d become a broken record if I said it as much as I feel for you.”
…
“Uhh… Blue?”
“Yes dear?”
“You- uh-… you wouldn’ mind makin’ me one of them there plushies, would ya?”
“Of course not, my love. I’ll make you a butterfly so we could match.”
“Why I’d love nothin’ more, sugar!”
And the couple eventually fell asleep to the soothing rhythm of their matching hearts and the steady thump of Yellow’s tail against the bed.