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(っ˶ ˘ ᵕ˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶ς) ₊˚⊹♡ ｡˚
Caitlyn Kiramman felt a heavy, soul-crushing weight settle onto her heart as she hovered her mouse over the red Leave button on her Zoom screen.
“An absolute travesty…” She breathed softly as she clicked.
Online classes had officially ended. Or, at least, that was the oh so grand lie her endless timetable promised. The moment her screen went back to the homescreen, the academic pressure began piling up once more.
It was all she could ever care about. So many upcoming assignments, individual presentations, quizzes, and laboratory activities. All she wanted at this point was a single moment of peace.
But it was in that fleeting moment of thought when she heard it.
A soft, inviting whisper drifting gently from the direction of her washroom.
“Caitlyn… Caitlyn...”
She blinked around, looking through her quiet room. It was a voice the young woman knew all too well.
It was her shower, Vi.
That undeniable little swagger.
Sighing deeply, Caitlyn stood up from her desk. Every ounce of willpower to follow her agenda crumbled in an instant as she gave into its requests.
…
Meanwhile, in the digital ether of Piltover Academy, total chaos broke out the exact millisecond Caitlyn left the last subject of the Zoom meeting.
Professor Heimerdinger, who was previously experiencing connectivity issues due to the heavy rains, suddenly reanounced that he “changed his mind” on asynchronous classes and would be coming back shortly into the meeting.
In the class group chat, frantic messages began to flood in at lightspeed.
< "SIRS HERE ALREADY OH MY DAYS" >
< "Where are you?? @everyone" >
< "Guys come back zoom" >
Oh, the misery. ♫ ♩
Deep within the washroom, oblivious to the storm brewing in her Messenger app, Caitlyn stood drying her hair with a towel. The water had been perfect! It was always perfect.
“Wow, really bucketing down out there… I hope classes are called off tomorrow.” She mused aloud quietly in a hot manner.
It was true that class suspensions had been happening so frequently recently, but given her luck, she still didn't want to jinx it by thinking about it too hard.
Once she returned to her desk, however, the once peaceful atmosphere shattered. She picked up her phone and noticed the endless cascade of message notifications flashed across her screen.
She scrolled up.
"WHAT?!" Caitlyn exclaimed in offended British shock. “BLOODY HELL. ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS. THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS???!!!”
The now very enraged British woman stormed right back into her washroom, glaring accusingly at her high-maintenance, shiny brass shower head.
“Ugh... uh... uu... sorry cupcake!” A watery, pretentious voice ekko-ed from the nozzle. The shower head tilted downward, its water pressure instantly dropping.
"I didn't mean to do it! I just missed you... waah…!"
Despite the sheer, frustrating magnitude of the news about her classes, and the fact that her entire batch now likely viewed her as an academic fugitive, Caitlyn couldn’t help but crack the faintest smile at how genuinely sorry her shower tried to look.
“What on earth… why do you act like this?” Caitlyn murmured, questioning her life decisions whilst shaking her head gracefully.
With a disappointed sigh, she finally reached out her hands, patting the handle fondly.
"Dear me… it's okay, my sweet darling," Caitlyn hushed hotly, her voice a mix of sarcasm, warmth, and genuine forgiveness. "It's not your fault."
"Hooray! That’s my sweet baby mongoose!" The shower instantly beamed, its water heater clicking back on all by itself. A loud, triumphant THUNK, puffed out like a celebratory steam.
“So, will you come back again for me later?” Vi ‘innocently’ goaded.
“NOT ON YOUR NELLY.” Caitlyn shrieked. For reasons unknown, something about that smug tone seemed to always burst the barrage beneath her barrage.
The Kiramman violently twisted the main shut-off valve, but the pipes only rattled back with a taunting, gurgling chuckle.
“Oh, come on? I’m tough as a nail! Let’s not be like that!” The shower protested with a taunting giggle.
“BLOODY BLOODY BLOODYY HELLL!!!!! I am FAILING my module because of your hydrological sirens!” Caitlyn yelled, ripping off the curtain rod and brandishing it around frantically like a mel-dieval knight in distress.
“OH, AND IT’S SO BRILLIANT. ALWAYS SOMETHING CRUCIAL HAPPENING LIKE THIS WHENEVER YOU BLOODY CALL FOR ME!!!
She threw her hands into the air, dropping the rod and instead snapping an expensive towel wildly in her grip. Her voice cracked, suddenly sinking into a heartbroken warble.
"BLOODY RUB…bihishh…!! Are we doing this on purpose then?? Is this a game to you?!"
Caitlyn’s blue eyes shimmered with frustrated tears, but she still managed to look very hot as she continued.
“My absence is being marked as we speak! I am a Kiramman, Vi! We do not get marked absent because of plumbing flirtations!”
“Hey, hey now… but I thought it wasn’t my fault!” Vi’s voice resounded unhappily.
“I WILL CALL AN ELECTRICIAN! I WILL HAVE YOU DE-SCALED! I WILL RE-PIPE THIS ENTIRE ESTATE WITH COLD HARD CONCRETE!” Caitlyn shrieked once more, her aristocratic spark shining brighter than a Hextech crystal.
“You wouldn’t dare,” the shower purred confidently, sending a tempting mist straight into her face.
The very smart and flexible chrome hose then proceeded to detach itself from the wall like an overexcited venomous python. But before Caitlyn could even process the violation of physics, the shower head leaped directly at her throat.
"GET OFF ME, YOU INSOLENT FIXTURE!" Caitlyn squawked, collapsing backward into the silco-ne edge of her shower door.
But the shower head didn’t listen. Instead, it aggressively nuzzled into the crook of her neck, spraying cold water directly against her collarbone in a desperate attempt to tickle her into submission.
“OK GAME, GAME! SQUARE UP!” Vi yelled defensively.
"Vi! Stop it! STOP ITTT!!!" Caitlyn squealed, her dignified accent somehow becoming even stronger as she wrestled the wild plumbing on the marble floor.
"Admit it, Cupcake! You love it!" Vi’s muffled voice boomed loudly as she aggressively continued spraying a chaotic mist all over her face. "You're not going back to that awful Science class! You're staying right here!"
"I WILL HAVE YOU MELTED DOWN INTO SCRAP METAL!" Caitlyn wheezed through breathless, chaotic laughter, kicking her legs wildly against the tiled porcelain wall. She finally managed to pin the thrashing shower head beneath a plush bath towel, trapping it like a feral animal.
“WOW, PRINCESS!” Vi hollered, evidently delighted by the sheer wildness. “DIDN’T KNOW YOU HAD THAT IN YOU!”
“I HAVE 67 TASKS IN THE GOOGLE CLASSROOM! I HAVE 67 TASKS IN THE GOOGLE CLASSROOM!!” The said princess shrieked, completely losing her mind, now both due to her shower and severe academic stress.
“WAAAHHHH, WAAAHH!! WOMP WOMP! Vi teased mercilessly, her voice flowing up with a hot, unmistakable smirk.
…
The next sixty minutes were still stuck in a desperate, dripping wrestling match. After all, both parties refused to give up like the hot independent women they are.
No viktor emerged by the time the battlefield finally fell quiet, as Caitlyn and her shower were thoroughly exhausted.
The former’s projects were left entirely untouched, her professor was undoubtedly furious, and her 67 assignments were still piling up on that damn Google Classroom.
But as they both lay there together very hotly, catching their breath amidst the lingering warmth of the steam, Caitlyn Kiramman could no longer care less.