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Chanyeol stirs to the feeling of small hands kneading at the base of his spine. He groans and shakes his shoulders in an awful attempt to stop the motion, but he just ends up smushing his face into his pillow even further.
“Kyungsoo..” He whines, but through the fabric of his pillow it comes out more like: Kyungththo.
The man in question doesn’t answer so Chanyeol huffs and peels himself away from Kyungsoo’s front, shuffling on the mattress until he’s facing him. A breathy laugh bubbles out of Chanyeol’s lips at the sight of Kyungsoo’s hands still making the small motions against the space where Chanyeol’s back was just moments ago. He wraps his hands around Kyungsoo’s wrists and places a kiss on each one of his fingers.
Kyungsoo mumbles something in his sleep but Chanyeol can’t quite catch it. It doesn’t stop him from smiling though.
*
It hours later when Chanyeol begins to stir again. The sun’s light is just beginning to shine through the small slits in between the shutters and he watches as the sun’s light refracts into lines across their bedroom. At some point between the last time, Chanyeol woke up and now Kyungsoo had shifted in his sleep and is now pressed right against Chanyeol’s chest. Chanyeol notices that he must have moved too seeing as they’re both now sharing a pillow and Chanyeol’s arms are wrapped loosely around Kyungsoo’s frame; one under his head and the other around his waist.
Chanyeol removes the hand from around Kyungsoo’s waist and reaches down towards the end of the bed to pull the comforter that got kicked off during the night over their bodies. Kyungsoo’s barely there, have-to-strain-to-hear-it, teeth chattering subsides as he tucks it into his sides.
He’s body is angled away from the window in a way that the sun’s light doesn’t bother him, doesn’t wake up him just as it rises (like it usually does) and has him sitting with his phone too close to his face as he waits for Chanyeol to get up, or not even waiting at all and leaving him to sleep as he get’s himself ready for the day and takes Toben out for his morning walk.
Chanyeol takes his time now to admire his boyfriend. The sun is still rising slowing outside their small apartment but Chanyeol is in no rush. He traces his thumb down the slope of Kyungsoo’s nose, then across his cheekbone and down his jaw, his neck. He finds himself breathless as he watches Kyungsoo’s eyes flutter behind their lids, unable to believe that he’s his, that someone so beautiful, so amazing, loves him back and has for several years now.
Sometime between Chanyeol’s hands leaving Kyungsoo’s face and finding themselves threading through his hair (it’s long now, and Chanyeol knows he’s itching to cut it again) Kyungsoo stirs.
A soft groan leaves his lips as he stretches his legs, his arms. Chanyeol winces slightly as he hears his joints pop but Kyungsoo just flops back down onto the bed, bone-less.
“Good morning.” Chanyeol greets, pulling him closer. Kyungsoo hums in response, “Mhm, Good morning.”
He shuffles closer as Chanyeol’s arm wraps around his waist again, the other resting on Kyungsoo’s cheek.
“You were kneading me again this morning,” Chanyeol tells him, a small smile on his lips. Kyungsoo hums again, eyes closed, hair fanned out across the pillow above his hair like a halo. It tickles Chanyeol’s nose but he doesn’t move, doesn’t want to break this moment.
Kyungsoo laughs gently, his breath hot against Chanyeol’s cheek. “Oh, was I?” He rests his head against Chanyeol’s chest. “Sorry ‘bout that, did I hurt you?” He asks while wrapping his arms around Chanyeol’s waist.
“No, no, didn’t hurt,” Chanyeol replies, “Just woke me up a bit.”
They don’t talk after that, they just lay in the comfortable silence that takes over the room. Kyungsoo’s breathing evens out again after a few minutes and Chanyeol thinks that he’s fallen asleep when he jabs Chanyeol in the ribs. “Why are you staring at me?” He mumbles, eyes still closed.
“Ow,” Chanyeol whines, rubbing the spot where Kyungsoo’s small finger stabbed him. “That hurt, and how do you even know I’m staring at you, your eyes are closed.”
“I can feel it.”
Chanyeol just shakes his head. “I wasn’t.”
Kyungsoo opens his eyes then, narrowed and menacing. Chanyeol just grins at him and he watches Kyungsoo’s face change from mild annoyance to something akin to adoration, he’s so cute. He narrows his eyes again after that but there’s a smile on his lips. There’s a red tint to the apples of his cheeks but Chanyeol just assumes it's from the heat of the thick blankets covering the both of them.
Kyungsoo kicks his legs wildly and he looks like a complete idiot as his legs remove the blankets from around them and towards the foot of the bed.
“Because you’re beautiful,” Chanyeol says suddenly and Kyungsoo’s eyes widen and his full-lips form a small ‘o’ shape.
“What?” Kyungsoo asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
Chanyeol rolls over and pins Kyungsoo’s hands above his head with just one of his own. He settles on his lap, legs bracketing his hips. His free hand rests on the juncture between his shoulder and his neck, rubbing their gently as he presses a soft kiss to Kyungsoo’s cheek.
“You asked why I was staring at you,” Chanyeol starts, breath hot against Kyungsoo’s cheek, “and I said it was because you’re beautiful.”
Kyungsoo’s cheeks are still red and he can’t blame it on the heat of the blankets if Chanyeol says anything, and he wants to. Wants smile at him and tease him for blushing so easily, but he doesn’t, knows that Kyungsoo hates the fact that even after six years Chanyeol’s words still get to him even if their only the simplest things. He kisses him then, hair dark and soft against the rilakkuma pillow-case, heart open and body warm underneath the thinning white t-shirt and plaid pajama pants, lips sliding against each other in the early morning light.
*
It’s not until a few hours later that they stumble out of the bedroom together. Kyungsoo’s still pulling his shirt back over his head as they walk down the small hall and Chanyeol places a small kiss on his nose behind it slips underneath the fabric, then another on his lips when they re-appear.
“I love you,” Kyungsoo tells him and Chanyeol beams.
“I love you too.” He says, grin wide.
Toben chooses then to run around the corner, the small black-haired dog yipping and dancing around their ankles as they walk into the kitchen. Chanyeol bends down and picks him up and Kyungsoo just shakes his head. They maneuver themselves skillfully in the small space. Kyungsoo grabs the cereal from the bottom shelves and Chanyeol grabs the bowls (3) and the container of dog food on top of the pantry. He slips by the fridge just as Kyungsoo is grabbing the milk and places Toben’s bowl at the edge of the breakfast bar and the dog beside it.
Toben sits obediently as Chanyeol pours the two cups into the bowl and he waves at Kyungsoo who’s pouring cereal into their own bowls at the breakfast bar in front of him. He motions for Toben to stay until he sits down beside Kyungsoo then tells him it's okay to eat. Kyungsoo pouts beside him.
“How come he doesn’t listen to me like that?” He asks shoving his spoon into the cereal.
“I don’t know, maybe you just have to try a few times.” Chanyeol responds with his mouth full of chocolate spheres.
Kyungsoo wipes at the milk dripping down his chin and shakes his head, “Maybe he just doesn’t like me as much as he likes you.”
Chanyeol gasps so loud that Kyungsoo drops his spoon with a clatter and he exhales deeply, hitting Chanyeol on the arm. “Don’t do that! You scared me, what? What was that for?”
Chanyeol looks absolutely offended, “How dare you say that Kyungsoo. That is our child. ”
Kyungsoo stares at him, he tries, he tries his hardest to keep a straight face, and maybe six years ago it would have stayed, but the look on Chanyeol’s face has him laughing, lips turning up and eyes crinkling behind his black-frames.
*
Chanyeol flops down onto the couch, catching himself quickly before his head falls heavily against Kyungsoo’s thighs. It's small, and ugly, and they picked it our for a measly price of ₩1,200 at a thrift shop beside the dog shelter where Chanyeol works, but it was the first piece of furniture that they picked out together so Chanyeol never complains when he has to bend his legs just so he can rest his head on Kyungsoo’s lap.
He shifts until he’s in that position, he long legs hanging all the way off the side of the couch so far that he can feel the scratched wooden floor against his toes. Toben rests on his bed beside their tv, a cute little pikachu toy that Jongdae got him pressed against his side.
Kyungsoo’s hand falls from where it’s gripping the ipad in his hand and tangles itself into Chanyeol’s dark curls. Chanyeol keens and curls around him as he reads something. He frowns softly as he looks up, notices how there's a crease in Kyungsoo’s brow and how his eyes are squinted, even behind his glasses. He makes a mental note to make an appointment at the optometrist for later in the week.
“Are you reading something?” Chanyeol asks a few minutes later, unsatisfied with the lack of attention. Kyungsoo hums.
Chanyeol pokes him the stomach. “What are you reading Kyungsoo-yah?”
Kyungsoo sighs and turns the Ipad towards him, it’s open to his Facebook feed, stopped on a particular post. It’s something in English. Chanyeol tilts his head and purses his lips as he tries to translate it but he only understands a few words at most.
“It’s something Junmyeon shared, something from an English novel,” Kyungsoo tells him, turning the screen back to himself. “He tagged Baekhyun in it. I was surprised.”
“What does it say?” Chanyeol asks.
“I’m not reading it to you.” Kyungsoo deadpans and Chanyeol wiggles in his lap. “Read it to me, babe, please.” He draws out the ‘e’ on the plead because he’s clearly a child.
Kyungsoo huffs, “No, it’s cheesy and embarrassing.”
Chanyeol grins, “Perfect, I love both of those things.” He closes his eyes and relaxes on Kyungsoo’s lap, waiting.
Kyungsoo just sighs and clears his throat.
“I didn’t fall in love with you, I walked into love with you.” Kyungsoo starts, “with my eyes wide open, choosing every step of the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway.” He takes a breath and Chanyeol exhales deeply, the hand in his hand tightening its grip with each word. “And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.”
He waits a moment before opening his eyes, just to be sure he’s done and when he does he notices the shine in Kyungsoo’s eyes as his eyes skim the passage again. He doesn’t say anything, just tilts his head up and presses a kiss against his chin.
“That was a bit cheesy,” Chanyeol admits, swiping his thumb across Kyungsoo’s lashes.
*
When they first met Kyungsoo didn’t like dogs, not at all. He hated how demanding they were and was perfectly happy keeping the only contact he had with them to a bare minimum of 1 per year. But for some reason his friends hated him and thought it would be a good idea to drag him to a dog shelter, insisting that all he needed was to get used to them.
Jongdae and Baekhyun had their hands wrapped like vices around his wrists as they pulled him from the car, he dug his heels into the cement path leading up the door and cursed himself for skipping all the days that the two of them invited him to the gym. He contemplated screaming, and he wasn’t above it but by the time he opened his mouth they had already dragged him through the glass door.
They watched him carefully as they released his wrists and waited a moment before trying to run away but for some reason, someone out there in the universe decided that they hated him and he smacked his head right against the door. He howled in pain and gripped his nose, the soft glide of blood seeping through his fingers.
“Holy shit!” Baekhyun screamed and Jongdae started cackling.
“Help me you idiots! Oh my god!” He gags at the metallic taste of metal against his tongue.
“Hi welcome to— What the fuck.” Kyungsoo turned and dropped his hands from his face, blood smeared against his cheeks and lips. What the fuck indeed. A boy — no a man, around their age was standing in the doorway behind the desk, face pale and eyebrows raised in shock. For a moment the pain vanished and all Kyungsoo could feel was the intense heat warming his cheeks, he was extremely good-looking, dark-frames resting on the bridge of his nose and dark hair curled on the top of his head, matching the dog on one of the pins on his apron but then Jongdae jostled him, trying to keep himself from falling over and Kyungsoo pulled his arm away and hit himself in face. He had to bite his tongue to keep from screaming.
“Uh, hi Chanyeol.” Baekhyun greeted, Kyungsoo winced as he felt him push the sleeves of his sweater against his nose. “This is Kyungsoo, do you have a bathroom? I think he’s dying.”
They ushered the dog boy and Kyungsoo into the small handicap washroom with nothing but a flickering light hanging by a fraying string and grimy first-aid box. They sat in silence as Chanyeol wiped the blood from his face with a wet wipe and Kyungsoo tried to keep his flinching and blushing (from being in such close proximity to probably the hottest boy Kyungsoo had ever seen) to a minimum. After cleaning it with a rubbing alcohol, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo remembered, bandaged it and patted him awkwardly on the shoulder.
“Well, that was fun.” He told him, packing the things back into the box. Kyungsoo wanted to slip under the dirty tiles and simultaneously strangle Baekhyun and Jongdae for doing this to him. Chanyeol started to get up and Kyungsoo panicked, wanting to say something, let him know that he’s not a complete idiot. But all that came out was:
“I think I bled on your floor.” If his face didn’t hurt he would have slapped it against his palm. He waited for Chanyeol to grimace and send him on his way but he just laughed, a sound that made Kyungsoo’s heart lurch.
“That’s okay, you can just stay and clean it up.” He told him, “And then we can get lunch.”
Kyungsoo gaped at him. “I just broke my nose on your door, bled on the glass and on the floor and you’re asking me out to lunch?”
Chanyeol shrugged, “Yeah, why not?”
*
Toben yips at their feet as the both of them gather around the door.They pull their coats on and Chanyeol bat’s Kyungsoo’s hands away when he goes to zip his fluffy coat, bending down to do it himself. He grabs the scarf from the top shelf, where Kyungsoo can never reach it and wraps it dramatically around his boyfriend’s neck until the only thing peeking out from behind it and the fabric of his hat is a small portion of his eyes.
He then zips up his own and pulls the hat that Kyungsoo knitted him onto his head making Kyungsoo scoff, he tries to reach up and pull it off, always claiming how ugly it was and, how “It’s not even warm Yeol! You’re going to have your ears fall off from frostbite because you’re being gross.” but he doesn’t care. Kyungsoo made it for him and he will proudly let them fall off it meant he could put the multicolored mess atop of his head.
“Come on Toben!” Chanyeol squeals, bending down to clip the leash onto his collar, patting him on the back where the fabric of his new coat doesn’t cover. He then scoops him up and plops him down into his other father’s waiting arms. Toben wriggles a bit in his grip but then gives up.
On the ride down to the lobby, Chanyeol keeps bending over to kiss Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo wiggles around trying to avoid him but he has a sweater on underneath his already thick coat so it does nothing but makes Chanyeol laugh at his attempts. Then next time he bends down Kyungsoo kisses him before he has the chance and turns back to the puppy in his arms, rather than the puppy that’s entwining their fingers beside him.
*
The park that Toben (re: Chanyeol) favors is just across the street from their apartment building so it's the place they venture to on their daily walks. Toben’s tail starts wagging as soon as they make it past the lobby doors and he flips himself out of Kyungsoo’s arms running forward.
“Whoa, watch yourself,” Kyungsoo calls out as he pulls on the leash carefully, keeping the small dog from running into traffic.
“He’s excited!” Chanyeol yells, “Look at him! He’s so cute!”
The snow is thick at the park, all the snow shoveled from the paths piled onto the banks like walls enclosing around them, they’re almost as tall as Kyungsoo. He can see his breath turning into fog in front of him and can feel the tip of his nose turning numb but he doesn’t complain, just grins as he watches Chanyeol chase after Toben in the deep snow, somehow having dropped the leash in the last 10 seconds since Kyungsoo gave him the reins.
“Kyungsoo!” He exclaims, “Help! He won’t let me grab it!”
Kyungsoo laughs, and cups his hands around his mouth, “Run in the other direction!”
Chanyeol throws to thumbs up into the air and makes his way over to him, Toben following loyally behind him. He snags the blue leash from the snow covered ground and lets out a small cry of victory. He hands the leash back to Kyungsoo after, looking sheepish.
The entire path of the park is only half-an-hour so they loop around a couple of times until Toben is tired out. Chanyeol seems pretty wiped too, feet dragging against the concrete path, but he seems to get a second wind after a couple minutes.
“Come on,” Chanyeol tells him, bending down in front of him.
“What?” Kyungsoo asks stopping in his tracks.
“Get on my back,” He pats his back just for emphasis, or maybe just to remind Kyungsoo was a back is. He’s not sure. But Kyungsoo shakes his head in return.
“No way Chanyeol.” He steps around him, they’re almost home. Chanyeol grabs his wrist and pulls on it, causing him to turn around.
“Come on! It won’t hurt me, I piggybacked you before. Remember?” He pouts a bit and Kyungsoo almost changes his mind. Almost. But he has some strength left. Chanyeol hasn’t made him completely soft.
“The last time you piggybacked me was five years ago Chanyeol, and I was the size of porn-size twink.” He scoffs, pulling on Toben’s leash to keep him from eating an acorn on the trail. When he turns back to gauge Chanyeol’s reaction all he sees is a tuff of black hair and he suddenly feels something cold and wet seeping into the denim on his jeans.
“Hey!” Chanyeol warns, his eyes are narrowed and Kyungsoo swallows thickly, “That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about. Have some respect.”
Kyungsoo wants to roll his eyes but he just finds himself grinning, a laugh bubbling at his lips. “What’s so special about him to warrant this type of violence?” He asks, his head tilting to the side.
Chanyeol shifts on top of him and the snow starts to fall between his scarf and his coat, he shivers at the cold. “Everything,” Chanyeol breathes, “Everything about him is special. There’s nothing about him that’s mundane, he’s worn his hair in the same style ever since I met him and he has the same 5 shirts and 3 pants as well, but he’s the most beautiful person I have ever met and I find myself staring at him more often than not because even if everything about him stays the same I always find new things to fall in love with every goddamn time I look at him.”
Kyungsoo wraps his arms around his neck and pulls him down for a bruising kiss, and Chanyeol hands automatically cradle his cheeks, the snow sticking to his gloves chilling his warm cheeks. He pulls away after a few moments and presses soft kisses against Chanyeol’s nose, his eyelids, the curve of his eyebrow, everywhere he can reach. Chanyeol hums at the feeling and pressing his own chaste one against Kyungsoo’s before standing up and pulling Kyungsoo up with him.
Kyungsoo wraps his arms around Chanyeol’s waist and Chanyeol kisses the top of his head. “I love you, Chanyeol, really, I do.”
“I love you too, now let’s get back home before we freeze ourselves to death.” Toben yips in agreement off to the side.
*
With Toben sleeping peacefully on his bed, Chanyeol coaxes Kyungsoo into the bathroom. His lips are slightly blue and his teeth are chattering louder than usual so he waits to let him into the small room until the heat from the shower has the window and mirror all fogged up. He sit’s Kyungsoo down on top of the toilet and slowly pulls his shirt from his body, smiling as his hair sticks up. Kyungsoo returns the favor and then his hands slide down to his belt, clicking it open. His jeans fall to the floor and Chanyeol kicks them to side, promising that he’ll put them in the basket after their shower. Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow, skeptic but Chanyeol holds out his pinky.
Chanyeol doesn’t know exactly when he fell in Kyungsoo, or maybe he does and if he thought back he could pinpoint the exact moment when he felt like he couldn’t breathe without telling him but it doesn’t really matter, Kyungsoo doesn’t care when he did, only cares that he stays there, right alongside him. He tries to figure out though, late at night when Kyungsoo is wrapped around his side and breathing steadily, their heartbeats matching the same slow beat.
Sometimes he thinks it was when they first met, when he was covered in his own blood and his nose was bent in an awful position and Jongdae was collapsed on the floor laughing so hard tears were falling from his eyes. Other times he thinks it was when Kyungsoo kissed him for the first time, soft and hesitant and so very unlike the Kyungsoo he had come to know, so vulnerable and eye’s searching for something in Chanyeol’s own gaze.
Kyungsoo wraps his pinky around Chanyeol’s and squeezes, “Promise, okay?” Chanyeol nods and pulls Kyungsoo’s pants off.
The water is hot against Chanyeol’s cold skin and he moans quietly at the feeling. Kyungsoo presses against him, he didn’t have to, the shower was big enough for there to be enough room but Chanyeol pulls him closer, and tilts his head away from the stream of water. He runs his hands through Kyungsoo’s hair and squeezing a small amount of product into his hands. He then gently massages into Kyungsoo’s hair, his boyfriend's arms worm themselves around Chanyeol’s waist and he rests his head on Chanyeol’s chest as he washes thoroughly.
He tilts his head back and shields Kyungsoo’s eyes with one hand while the other pushes the suds out of his hair. Kyungsoo opens his eyes and makes a grab for the hair product but Chanyeol shakes his head.
“I washed it yesterday, you don’t have to.” He tells him.
“Oh okay, can you pass me the body wash though? and the loofah?” He points to the bright yellow ball hanging from its string behind Chanyeol’s head. He passes them to Kyungsoo and he watches as he drops some of the soap onto the loofah and runs it under the water until it suds.
He runs the sponge up Chanyeol’s arms and down his chest letting the bubbles fall away from the water as he reaches down to scrub at his legs. He finishes quickly and then turns them around so that the water can better reach the suds still clinging to Chanyeol’s skin.
They just stand there after, Chanyeol protecting Kyungsoo from the stream of water as he exhales deeply, head resting against his chest again. Chanyeol reaches up to push his water soaked hair from out of Kyungsoo’s face and holds the bangs back as the water runs over them. He shuts the water off after some time, knowing that Kyungsoo hates being pruny, though he always ends up staying in the shower just long enough for it to happen.
Kyungsoo clings to him as he dries him with one of their Gudetama towels (a gift from Sehun and Jongin from the last time they went to Japan) and Chanyeol has to peel his arms off from around him so that he dry them.
“Come on Soo, let’s get ready for bed.” Kyungsoo hums.
He guides him into their bedroom and tosses him a pair of clean pajamas pants and shirt that Chanyeol thinks used to belong to him. He pulls on his own pair of sweatpants and when he turns around Kyungsoo is staring at the articles like he’s been pulled into a trance.
“What's wrong?” Chanyeol asks.
Kyungsoo looks up at his voice, shaking his head a bit as to pull his thoughts from his head. “Hm? Oh, nothing.” He watches Chanyeol and sighs when he knows that he’s not going to drop it. “You just — it’s just, you wore this shirt the first time you slept over at my old place. I was just reminiscing.”
Chanyeol grins and jumps onto the bed beside him. “You’re such a sap Kyungsoo, come on, get dressed and we can go watch that anime that you love so much.” Kyungsoo beams up at him and pulls the shirt over his head, then the pants on after.
The shirt hangs almost above his knees, and Chanyeol suddenly feels his heartstrings pulling, remembering Kyungsoo the morning after he slept over. This exact shirt pulled over his small frame, resting just a bit lower than it is now. He remembers how he looked at him that night, their hands roaming and touching and mapping, trying to memorize every contour of the other's body, remembers how Kyungsoo had smiled at him, how he felt under him, remembers how he clung to him after, legs entwined beneath the thin sheets of his bed, fingers entwined between them.
*
Later, after they’ve watched a few episodes of Kyungsoo’s anime Chanyeol pins him to the bed and reminds him just how he felt that first night. He takes his time, just like they did back then, pulling Kyungsoo’s pants off slowly and tossing them to the side, kissing down his chest until he reaches the soft skin on his inner thighs, bites down against the sensitive skin until Kyungsoo is writhing beneath him.
Kyungsoo is always beautiful, but Chanyeol loves him like this; so open and vulnerable, reading to give Chanyeol anything and everything.
When they’re done Kyungsoo settles on top of him. His head resting on his collarbones as he traces the lines on Chanyeol’s hands. First the small ones across each finger, then the bigger ones that run across the palm: the love, wealth and life lines. His fingers find the love line first and follow it down to the edge of his palm, then the life one and finds that it’s just as long as the first one, that they connect at the end just off the side of his palm.
He pulls Chanyeol’s hand down and kisses each fingertip before snuggling up to his side. Chanyeol reaches down and pulls the sheets up, presses a kiss against his cheek.
“Good night," He mumbles into Kyungsoo's hair, "I love you."