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River had always liked watching the stars, dreams of warm light and new beginnings in a sea of darkness. Piloting Serenity through the black, putting one star to her back and making toward the warmth of another was the closest to peace she'd known in a long time. It reminded her of being a child again, practicing her dance steps in the garden of her parents' summer house, with the sun, the biggest star of all, a pleasant heat on her skin, her clothes dampening with sweat on her body, as the plants greened around her and burst into blossom.
"Hey," Kaylee said as she entered the cockpit, and River felt all her awareness shift from the viewfinder. What were the stars after all, cold and faraway, to a sun?
River resisted the urge to turn. She could probably dock Inara's shuttle without looking at what she was doing, but she didn't like to be too obvious with her talents. She curled her fingers tight around Serenity's yoke and didn't stroke her fingers down Kaylee's arm to see if it was warm and soft. "Hey. I thought you were going to wait for Inara's shuttle to dock."
"Mal ordered us out. He realized we were waiting for a show."
"He said he was fine with her teaching."
"I don't think he thinks much on how much demonstrating and observing teaching requires. Is he, though? Fine with it?" Kaylee plopped down in the other chair. "Now that your brother and I have stopped stepping out, there's got to be at least one romance that works on this ship."
"Are you asking what I think or what I know?"
"Just what you think. You seem so normal. I forget that you're a reader." Kaylee cringed. "Not that you ain't normal."
River drew both knees up to her chin and stared very hard at the instrument panel. Kaylee had been the very first person besides Simon in a long time to treat her as just a girl, and it hurt that some of that seemed to have been lost. "I know what you meant."
"Quiet night," Kaylee said finally. "I noticed her shimmying a bit when we left Greenleaf, and I thought I'd check out the yoke."
"You don't need an excuse to come see me."
"I know." Kaylee sat her toolbox down and rested her feet on its closed lid. "But Mal gets tetchy if I spend too much time gossiping with you or Inara stead of working."
River forced a smile. "There was a comet. Almost our path. I just wanted to keep it in view awhile." The shuttle docked finally, and River realized that the butterflies in her stomach weren't all coming from her. Inara was nervous, too. She turned in the chair to look back over her shoulder at Kaylee. "It was romantic."
Kaylee smiled back, accepting the gesture without guile. It was Kaylee who liked romance. "It's good that you can keep your mind on stars and pretty things out here. Sometimes it gets so lonely."
River pressed her fingers hard into thighs, where Kaylee couldn't see. "You and Simon could still —"
"No, that's done. Come right to it, Simon and I just didn't spark right, you know? Something about core and rim just don't, I guess. Excepting Mal and Inara. Maybe if I were —"
River cut her off. "You're perfect," she said. She swallowed and ventured, "you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."
Kaylee laughed. "At least I got loyal friends." She stood and stretched, her shirt rising just enough to give River a quick flash of a belly button. "Well, if there's nothing wrong here, I guess I'd better get to figuring out that coupling refit. I sure wish we'd pass by a scrapyard soon, so's I could pick out some decent parts." She paused and squeezed River's shoulder. "You know I didn't mean nothing by what I said earlier. You can see that, right?" She pointed to her own head.
"Yes," River lied. "I can see that." It was easier than telling Kaylee the truth, that River had done all she could to avoid looking too deeply into the mind of the girl she'd loved from the first moment she laid eyes on her and seeing that there was no hope at all that her feelings would ever be returned.
On the surface, Kaylee's mind was an orderly space, calm and sweet like a spring, full of machine parts and fuel, humming with the gentle quiet murmur of a frictionless glide through space, and that was all River needed to know.
On Silverhold, she and Mal had to overnight as a married couple to keep from getting caught. They shared a bed, fully clothed, awake in case of trouble. River could read his mind spinning with plans for the job and worry for the rest of the crew tucked away on Serenity in a hidden canyon. It wasn't the first night they'd ushered in the morning together. When Mal's dreams dripped in blood and dead comrades, he got no small amount of peace from standing in the cockpit of his own ship, watching the stars streak past as Serenity made its way through the black. River was used to making conversation with him. "If someone were sweet on you," she began, and Mal rose up so fast, he fell to the floor with a loud thump.
He looked at her wild-eyed for a moment, stammering and panicked. Then his eyes went soft. "You're all kinds of cute," he said, "but I'm a mean old man, and you'd best stick to boys." He kissed her on the forehead and pulled a pillow down to lay on the floor.
"Not you," she said, cross and impatient, tugging him back to the bed. "Or not me." Her mouth bent in a moue of distaste.
"Hey! I can be attractive. I am all kinds of attractive." She drew up onto her elbow and jabbed her chin in her hand with a glare. He held up his hands in surrender. "Not the point." He stiffened suddenly and tapped his holster. "What did Jayne do?"
Somewhere between Three Hills and Georgia, there was not much for the rest of them to do beside wait and watch, so Inara asked River to take tea with her.
"I'm supposed to talk to you about boys," she said, getting heated water for the both of them. The steam rose up in long tendrils and River held her hands over it. "At least I think so. There was something about women's issues and shooting Jayne."
River considered her as Inara got the tea leaves out, a fresh batch, newly picked and barely dried. She wondered if Mal had talked to Simon also or gone straight to Inara. "Not boys," she said finally. "Not girls either," River clarified. "Just —"
"— one particular girl," Inara said knowingly. Of course, Inara knew. "Is there something you do want to talk about?"
"How do I ..." River's voice trailed off.
Inara sipped her tea. "Everyone likes to be courted," she said. "And I'm sure she'd appreciate it, but Kaylee's never cared about subtlety. You could just ask her."
River nodded, and picked up a turnip cake with her chopsticks. "Did he really think I needed a talk about boys? They bleed out just as easy as girls. I know what to do if someone bothers me." The turnip cake was perfectly seasoned, and River let a bite rest on her tongue while she savored the flavor.
Inara blinked for a moment and then slumped back in her cushions in a way that was more girlish than elegant. She picked up bad habits whenever she spent more than a couple of weeks away from the madrassa. Her laugh came out almost as a giggle. "And between Kaylee's stories and Jayne's, you've probably got a pretty good idea of what to do if you're not bothered as well."
River swallowed the bite. "Mal doesn't worry about Kaylee like that."
"Mal doesn't need Kaylee's gun hand."
"He feels guilty," River said.
Inara replied very seriously, but with lips twisted in amusement, "Your brother lectures him a lot."
On Bernadette, they were caught in a clan feud. Zoe took an unlucky punch that made Mal's eyes go cold as he swung his gun round, and shot one, two, three, four, five, before he reminded the crowd he had one left for whoever wanted to stop them from leaving.
Back on the ship, River held her hand while Simon checked her out, and Zoe laughed when River asked how Wash had courted her, a deep laugh from down in her belly that had her gasping for air as Simon pronounced she was fine. "He shaved off his mustache," was all she would say with a smile on her lips and a faraway look in her eyes.
River wrinkled her nose at her reflection in the medbay windows. "My brains would get cold," she told Jayne as she walked out. He edged away from her and tried to pretend he hadn't been peeking in with worry.
On Aberdeen, River got shot and lost a chunk of her thigh in a shallow furrow. Simon's nostrils were flared as he stitched her up, but his voice was even as he told her that he'd make sure there was no scar. The light of the operating lamp was harsh and glaring and she closed her eyes as she asked him why he and Kaylee weren't together anymore.
And Simon, because he was the best brother in the world, and knew what River really meant whether she was writing a letter about the D'arbanville's ball or asking a quiet question in the infirmary, simply replied, "I don't mind, mei-mei."
Hera had a real scrapyard and shops that Kaylee planned to make full use of. Mal barely glanced at her list, before handing her some cash. "You get a good deal," he said. "Listen well, little Kaylee. You get a good deal, or you don't buy. We ain't worked for these folk before, and until we're square, we can't rest easy on the hopes of a payout. Hera's friendlier than most places, but this job could still go south."
"Better not," Jayne said.
"You," Mal said to Jayne. "You sit there and look dangerous, and you don't speak. I'd take Zoe if I could, but since I can't, your job is to be Zoe."
"Zoe speaks."
"Yeah, but she does it all diplomatic-like."
"I can be dip, dip, Zoe-like."
"Not on your best day, and I am not aiming to get shot here."
"Maybe you should take Simon," Zoe said. "He'd look pretty shuai in my leather vest."
Mal snorted. "Simon's as bad as Jayne for opening his mouth and making people want to shoot him, and since he can't shoot back with any accuracy he stays." His pulled on his gloves. "Besides you may need him."
"I had a baby," Zoe said, "I'm fine."
"Two days ago. Doc said he'd prefer the greater part of a month before you go getting into fights again." He pointed at Jayne. "Not that there's going to be any fighting." He turned back to Zoe. "And don't think I'm not still mad at the timing. Girl's worse than her father for showing up at the last second. Now you keep my boat in one piece until we get back, and Kaylee, take River. I mean to be back in the sky in two hours. I've got a line on a job on Jiangyin, and we don't get it, we'll have to crawl to Badger or worse. We've lost too damn many contacts lately."
"Lost a lot of good folk lately," Zoe said.
Mal's eyes flicked to hers. "Ain't we just." He turned away. "River, you stick to Kaylee. Let her handle the dealing. You just keep an eye out for trouble, dong ma? You know what you're doing?"
River smoothed her dress down and set her jaw. "Going courting," she said.
Mal frowned and grabbed River by the elbow, pulling her out of earshot of the rest of the crew. "I thought Inara talked to you?" River stared back at him, mulishly. "Fine." He sighed. "It's none of my business. You're an adult grown. Just don't spend so much time flirting that you can't keep watch. We're here to work, not for you to find a partner for baby's first tumble." He shuddered and ran his hand through his hair. Then without another word, he turned, and stalked down the ramp with a clipped "Jayne!"
River kept on eye out as Kaylee wandered among the stalls and shops, and watched carefully to see what she lingered on wistfully, but moved on from because it was personal and not something to spend the supply money on. River didn't know what her cut would be from this job, but she knew Mal meant to give her something above room and board to reflect that she'd taken over the piloting in addition to the odd jobs he had taken her on.
The scrapyard was the last stop they made, River could see two people working in the dusty yard underneath the beating sun, as they came up on the mule, but only one of them had a mind buzzing with machine parts and receipts. The other — River grabbed her hands to her head and didn't even know what she said, but Kaylee dropped everything she was carrying to clap her hands over River's ears hard as if to block out a horrible noise, and River watched as the man with the wrong brain started walking toward them, fearlessly and unhurried.
Kaylee let go of her ears and River breathed hard and tried to calm down. "We have to go," she said. "He's not alone." Kaylee hits the throttle on the mule, muttering the whole time to herself about flawed design and why didn't she ever think to boost their efficiency before, couldn't be that much harder than a ship. River got into position and drew a bead. She wouldn't shoot if she didn't have to. No need to make Hera too hot for them to come back to.
They signaled Serenity they were coming in fast, and luckily, Mal and Jayne had already returned. As soon as the mule hit the deckplating, Mal lowered his gun from where it was covering them and called over the intercom for Serenity to take off. The ramp door closed and Mal holstered his gun. "What happened?"
"We made it," Kaylee breathed, wide-eyed and panting, her face still flush with exertion.
She was still the most beautiful sight River had ever seen and without quite meaning to, River leaned in, like a flower turning toward the sun, her lips opening as she pressed her mouth to Kaylee's.
Kaylee gasped against her, and then she was kissing back, warm and sweet, and River melted into her.
When they finally drew back from each other, River was shaking, scared. Kaylee lifted a hand to River's hair, smoothed it back from her face, soothingly. "It's all right," she said. "River, it's all right."
River looked up. Simon's face was pretending a lot of interest in his palms, but she couldn't feel any real unhappiness coming from him.
"I said, what happened?"
"Now don't rush them," Jayne said. "You two just go ahead and kiss some more."
"Bi zui," Mal snapped. "Kaylee, what happened?"
"A guy in the scrapyard had a wrongness about him. River went all bibbledy for a second and then we laid out for Serenity, fast-like."
Mal clenched his jaw and got on the intercom again. "Inara, we got anyone following us?
"Skies are clear."
"Well, put as much difference between us and this planet as fast as you can."
"It's never going to end," River said.
Mal waved his hand. "Ain't a one of us don't have enemies. Bound to run into one of yours again, sooner or later. It's been six months."
Jayne spit. "That's the problem with taking on strays. My pa always said, 'give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day, but teach a man to fish and he'll bash you over the head and steal your pole.'"
"And on that note, Kaylee, get your stuff hauled away. River, get up to the cockpit and take over for Inara. Jayne, wipe that up, and I catch you spitting on my boat again, I'll space you." He smirked suddenly, teasing. "Doc, breathe."
Simon looked up then. "She's not your sister."
"Was it just, you know, the running away?" Kaylee said quietly as she entered the cockpit. "Can get a person's heart pounding, and it's not like I've never —"
"No," River said. She considered. "If you want it to be."
"You surprised me."
"I'm sorry," River said. "I'm sorry, I meant to do it right. I meant to court you."
"Never been courted before. Not proper."
"I know I'm not," River took a deep breath. "Like Simon. But."
"I liked Simon. Still like him. But. I like Mal and Inara and Jayne and Zoe, too."
"Jayne?"
Kaylee laughed. "You know how I mean." She knelt down next to River's chair. "I told you, Simon and I didn't spark. You and I sparked plenty in that kiss. Didn't you feel it?"
"I thought it was just me."
"Not just you."
"I can still court you."
"Long as I can court you back."
"All right," River said and reached out a hand to rest it, warm, on Kaylee's hip.
Finis