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Izana floated across the dock, toying with their helmet. The docks were a far cry from the hustle and bustle that they had been during the war, and the empty lines of silent Gardes only added to the discomfort roiling in their stomach. They sighed, caught the railing beside one of the war machines, and let their boots seal themselves to the floor.
Izana was accustomed to nerves before a mission - facing likely death never really got any easier - but this wasn’t even close to a mission! The war was over, the guana gone, and now every spare hand was dedicated to building a new home for Sidonians on Lem VII. All of COMMAND had gone planetside - with nothing but a skeleton crew left on Sidonia - there was no-one to even give missions!
Well not quite everyone. Yuhata was still aboard - her promotion to Captain meant she kinda had to be - and poetically Yuhata was exactly the source of Izana’s current nerves.
They both hadn’t really had much time to see one another since to the end of the war, what with all the Rebuilding, Terraforming, and Promotions that kept everyone busy. And Yuhata, with the most Responsibilites and Promotions and whatever else, was too busy to even see her friends, both of their friends. And too busy to see Izana.
Which had been good! All those things meant Izana hadn’t had a lot of time to process several things. Like Yuhata’s surprise declaration of Love the Eve of the Last Battle. And a clearly well thought through declaration it was: Yuhata’s choice of timing, wording, and setting had all been almost perfect. Izana would have swooned if it hadn’t come completely out of deep space.
Well, maybe not the cleaning apron she had been wearing at the time, but everything else!
But everything had calmed down now, they had thought about it long and hard, and they had finally felt ready to invite Yuhata out on… on, well, a first date? A trial run?
Feeling ready to give things a go didn’t seem to include being ready to give things a name.
Izana took a few deep breaths to calm themselves, which naturally failed to do anything, before giving up and moving onto something far more likely to actually settle their nerves.
Thumbing open the Diagnostics manual on their pad, Izana got to work preparing the Garde for launch.
--- --- ---
“...Izana? ...Hello? Anyone out there?” a familiar voice across the docks.
Izana started in surprise, from deep in the bowels of the mecha. Yuhata was early? A quick glance at their wrist indicated that nope, it just takes forever to refuel a war machine without a team of dedicated engineers. Who knew?
“Down here!” They called as they disentangled themselves from numerous cables. “I was just setting up!”
The iconic green hair and curious green eyes of Yuhata appeared over the edge of the walkway.
“Last time I checked it takes five people twenty minutes to prep a type-18 Garde for launch. You haven’t been trying to do all that yourself, are you?”
Izana laughed up at her and waved their artificial hand, to highlight the cables trailing from its HMI interfaces.
“Don’t worry, I’m cheating. Plus, we both know they always leave them in a ready state, just in case”
Yuhata’s expression betrayed her amusement, despite her clear attempt to appear worried.
“...and I’m also nearly done. Give me a minute,” Izana grunted as they detached the last of the fuel lines. A mental command and the cable began snaking away, back into its hold.
“...so, what are we actually doing here today? You didn’t actually say. I mean, I can see it involves a Garde...”
Izana’s nerves, which had calmed during the engineering work, redoubled. They adjusted several useless settings to avoid answering, before steeling themselves and securely shutting the access panel.
“... Hmm, come to think of it now, I don’t recall granting any authorisation for Garde deployment. Did you grandmother authorise it? Are we assisting in her research somehow?”
Izana winced. Yuhata was simultaneously highly observant and highly oblivious in the strangest of ways. Got it in one how they had managed to authorise this little getaway, and completely off the mark about the point to it.
Speaking of Grandma, better scrub the Garde’s mission recorder after the flight. Izana loved their Grandma but had zero illusions about how eager she would be to acquire a record of this date, nor how humiliating that would be if she did.
Still, better nip the idea of this being a business in the bud. If they didn’t then drastic measures would be needed to derail it later, and Izana was nowhere near ready for ‘drastic measures’.
“Hmm, I don’t think I want to tell you!” Izana called up, as they floated back up to Yuhata’s position. “I would hate to ruin the mystery of it all.”
“Isn’t ‘ruining the mystery of it all’ the whole point of scientific research?” Izana could hear the smile in Yuhata’s voice. They adjusted their trajectory to arrive behind her. “Point of non-scientific research too, come to think of it.”
Izana boots sealed on the walkway, and they quickly threw their arms around Yuhata’s shoulders. She stiffened immediately, before slowly relaxing into the embrace.
“I was just thinking,” Izana said, resting their head on top Yuhata’s own.
“How to scare me out of my boots?”
Izana laughed again, quieter this time.
“You weren't very long into the Pilot’s Academy before you were handpicked to be the Commander’ Aide, were you?”
“... that is true...” She frowned in confusion at the sudden topic change.
“I don’t think you got the opportunity to pilot in anything more than the simulators, did you?”
“Well, yes, but what has-” She stopped suddenly, glancing up at the Grade.
“...no...” She whispered “...no, you didn’t...”
Izana grinned and danced round to stand in front of Yuhata - hand clasped behind their back - the picture of innocence.
“See, I was wondering if... perhaps… maybe… you might be interested…. ” Izana drew out the word slowly, waving their hand through the air.
“You didn’t!” she shouted, practically bouncing out of her boots
Izana grinned, and dropped all pretence of innocence.
“Wanna take this thing for a spin?” They said, jabbing a thumb over their shoulder at the open cockpit.
Yuhata screamed, and threw herself bodily into Izana.
--- --- ---
Yuhata’s excitement only grew when she got into the cockpit, and she bounced up and down like a child in a candy shop.
“Oh the simulators don’t do it justice! I mean, sure, the dimensions and controls are all obviously the same but they sure can’t capture the subtle aspects of the Garde! You can literally feel the vibrations of the Higg’s particle engine beginning the injection phase of its startup! And that popping noise! What is that?”
Izana smiled and shook their head, as they ran through final checks before launch.
“It’s dock releasing locks, ready to lower us into the catapult,” they replied, watching green lights flicker on after each test.
“The catapult! Something else that can’t be captured, after all 3Gs of acceleration is not something you can just ignore! I mean, I understand why it is completely unfeasible to try and replicate the acceleration, but it has to take something out of the experience! Is there anything I should do to prepare? Breathing exercises? Should I tense? Or is relaxing better?”
Izana couldn’t help but laugh out loud at her eagerness. “Not for this bit, I’m afraid. Just relax and enjoy the view.”
Izana could just imagine Yuhata pouting at that unsatisfying answer, but before anyone could say anything the catapult engaged. The pair were violently thrown back into their chairs, and felt every bone in their bodies rattling as the Garde hurtled out of Sidonia.
Izana’s hands darted over the controls before the acceleration had even died down, adjusting their speed and course, deactivating any combat displays, and send off a quick “we’re off!” to Control. There was probably no-one there to read it, but it never hurt to be polite.
“How are you doing back there?” Izana called back as the pilot monitoring program flicked on.
Yuhata laughed back in response, light and joyful. That, Izana decided, made all the effort that had gone into this worth it.
“Alright, no first flight is complete with a scenic tour of Sidonia!” Izana said, turning back to the controls.
They flexed their fingers over the joysticks before pulling the the mecha in a sweeping turn and opening out the throttle.
The titanic form of Sidonia drifted slowly into view through the side of the cockpit. Izana watched it appear with only half an eye, having seen the view countless times before.
“It’s so beautiful,” Yuhata whispered. Izana risked a glance back at her, and saw that she had brought up a gloved hand to touch the glass.
Nevermind. This right here was what was what made everything worth it.
“I’ve never seen it except on displays before. They don’t capture its... its anything.”
Izana wondered if this was exactly why they took novice pilots on the scenic flights. Seeing your home in all its weathered glory would make anyone fight that much harder to keep it safe.
They shook the idea out of their head. Introspective thoughts could wait until later.
The cockpit was comfortably silent while Izana weaved the Garde between the crafts building the new Orbital Station. Then novelty was pleasant - flying without a destination in mind - but they soon grew bored with the aimless traveling.
“Anywhere in particular you want to see, Yuhata?”
She didn’t answer their question right away. Izana was almost about to ask the question again - in case she hadn’t heard it - when she responded.
“I never did get to see the repairwork on Sidonia’s bow in person,” she said quietly.
“The damage from the Battle for Lem VII?” Izana asked
“Yes. Total loss of the Retro thrusters and Aquatic sections. Catastrophic breach of the Habitable section. A 32% reduction in Sidonia’s total mass. And to think I had only left Captain Kobayashi alone for a few weeks.”
Izana laughed. “You make it sound like you were all that stopped her from crashing Sidonia into a Star!”
Yuhata sighed and shifted in her seat “Some days I did wonder. But in the end I had to conclude she didn’t want to destroy Sidonia. That would have upset Tanikaze.”
Izana wasn’t sure what to make of Yuhata’s unusual tone. It sounded melancholic, or perhaps spiteful. It was probably a good idea to steer the conversation into safer territory.
But on the Artificial hand, Izana curiosity was well and truly piqued now.
“Oh?” Izana kept their tone light and jovial “Did Captain Kobayashi have a hidden soft spot for our Tanikaze?”
“Who didn’t have a soft spot for our Tanikaze.” Yuhata responded curtly.
Wow.
A tense silence descended upon the cockpit, and Izana couldn’t think of anything to say to break it.
Eventually the requirements of piloting pulled their attention away from fixing the uncomfortable mood, and towards making the landing approach.
Just before Izana descend to land on the Hull of Sidonia, Yuhata broke the silence for them.
“I’m sorry, Izana,” she whispered.
Izana blinked. More unexpected behaviour from her, it was a day of firsts.
“You have put a lot of effort into making this day something special, and here I am ruining it with my childish behaviour. I… I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
Oh, Izana didn’t not like the sound of that at all. Nothing good came from burying your emotions like Yuhata insisted upon doing. Izana made some last minute adjustments before touchdown, and then ventured further into this conversation minefield.
“I’m not angry Yuhata, just confused. What was it that upset you?”
“I… it’s… ” Yuhata fell silent for a short a while before whispering, “I don’t like talking about Tanikaze.”
That surprised Izana so much they nearly crashed into Sidonia and had to quickly scramble to recover. When the dust had settled, they spun round in their chair to stare at a slightly ill looking Yuhata.
“You don’t like Tanikaze?” Izana blurted out, incredulously. “But you lived in his house for a year! You helped set him up with Tsumugi! We used to fight for his attention!”
Yuhata had turned bright red, and refused to meet Izana’s eyes. “I like Tanikaze just fine! That's not the problem here!”
“Then what is the problem?” Izana asked, thoroughly confused now.
Yuhata seemed visibly upset, both pain and discomfort filling her expression. Izana started to feel guilty about what they were doing, but beat the feeling back. If this didn’t get settled now it could tear their friends apart, and Izana couldn’t bear that.
“Yuhata,” Izana said softly, resting a hand on her arm. “Please, tell me, what is the problem?”
Yuhata glanced up at them, and her face settled on resignation. She sighed, before steeling herself.
“The problem, Izana, is you.” She said, staring up into Izana face.
Izana mentally reeled back in shock. But before they could recover, before they could think of anything to say, Yuhata continued.
“I lived in the house YOU shared with Tanikaze. I help set up Tanikaze with YOU, not Tsumugi. The person who keeps coming back to Tanikaze isn’t me, it’s YOU.”
“But we used to fight for-” Izana managed weakly.
“For his attention, yes Izana, when I was sixteen!” Yuhata’s voice was hoarse but the words tumbled out faster and faster. “And I gave up when I became his commanding officer! Because there was no way that relationship could have possibly worked out! Why do you think my rivalry with you cooled literally overnight? I didn’t magically become more mature, I stopped seeing you as a threat!”
Izana seemed incapable of anything but sitting there, uncomfortably twisted in their chair, staring at Yuhata with their mouth open.
Yuhata swallowed, and when she spoke again, she was back in control.
“And I’m glad I did Izana, because I got to know you instead. And you are a truly wonderful person Izana. I know I don’t say so much, but you are. Being your friend has been more important to me that my pursuit of Tanikaze has ever been.”
Something hard and painful had settled in Izana’s throat, and their eyes began to burn.
“It was you, Izana, that made me come and live with you. It was you that gave me the support and encouragement I needed to get through the war. It was you who actually saved my life! You literally jumped between me and the consequences of my own stupid decisions!”
Yuhata was fighting back tears of her own, but her expression was determined and her eyes never wavered from Izana’s.
“And so yes, I don’t like talking about Tanikaze. I don’t like the fact he somehow invades every damn part of our relationship, to the point that even as you take me out and start making my dreams quite literally come true that it is still somehow about him !”
Yuhata fell silent then and her gaze feel straight down at her feet.
Izana said nothing, nursing the sharp pain in their throat and chest as they processed everything that Yuhata had said.
Years. That's how long they had been hurting Yuhata with realising it. Actual years.
The guilt flooded back, and they clumsily wrestled off their helmet, so as to wipe away the tears beading on their eyelashes.
Years! How did they miss this for actual years? For almost their whole friendship with Yuhata. And she had never said a word, just one more thing to be weathered on top of winning a war against the Guana.
Anger flooded up through Izana. Is this what they where going to do? Wallow in guilt, and ruin what had been a perfectly good date? Where they going to let Yuhata first memory of piloting a Garde end like this?
No. No they weren’t.
Izana reached over to the controls and instructed the cockpit to expand, raising the ceiling and give them room to maneuver over the seats. Then they reached over and released Yuhata’s seatbelt.
Yuhata didn’t have time to give more that a startled squawk, before Izana tugged her into their lap. They wrapped their arms around Yuhata’s shoulders, and held her close to them.
“I-Izana! W-wha-”
“I’m not very good at this, am I?” Izana whispered into her back.
“...Izana?”
“I brought you out here today because I wanted you to enjoy yourself and maybe relax a little, but all I’ve managed to do is hurt you.”
“No Izana, it's my fau-”
“And I thought that maybe I could decide how I feel about the idea of a relationship together through doing this, like a... a trial date? Something like that. It seems rather silly now.”
Yuhata had gone deathly silent and very, very still.
“I sorry that I hurt you Yuhata. That I have been hurting you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t someone you could come to talk to me about this, that I made you feel that you aren’t important to me. Because you are Yuhata. You really, really are.”
“...I-Izana?”
“I want you to be happy Yuhata. I want you to be happy, and safe, and loved. And while saying that I am comfortable with the idea of us together would be a lie… I-I still want to try.”
Yuhata was staring at them wide eyed, tears beading off her eyelashes and floating free in front of her.
“Because this here? Whatever we are? I have never experienced anything like it before. I want whatever connection it is we have together. And I want to make it stronger, and deeper, a-and closer too. ”
Izana ducked their head, suddenly feeling very fragile and exposed. They swallowed a few times before they could manage to get the last bit out.
“That is… I-if you want to.”
Yuhata buried her face in Izana’s shoulder and wrapped her arms around them in a hug strong enough to bend ribs.
“Please... Please do.”
--- --- ---
Izana instructed the Cockpit to collapse down to active configuration as Yuhata adjusted herself awkwardly in their lap.
“...So” Yuhata began.
“So?” Izana smiled back, fastening their seatbelt over both them and Yuhata.
“Eh?”
Izana smiled grew a little bigger, and guided Yuhata’s hands over the controls of the craft. “Oh? Didn’t expect any hands on instruction? Put your feet over the pedals.”
Yuhata twisted in Izana lap, trying to see their expression “That pun was physically painful. And this position has to be the same for you. Are you sure you don’t want to use the back seat?”
“Oh... no” Izana purred from behind Yuhata. “I am very comfortable right where I am. ”
Yuhata stopped twisting, and Izana could just about see a faint blush in Yuhata’s reflection.
“Are you… teasing me?” Yuhata asked incredulously.
Izana hid their smirk out of sight, and carefully pressed up against Yuhata’s back.
“I would never!” they said, voice thick with false indignation “I just want to make sure I have your full attention.”
Izana paused a moment, considering a different approach.
“Unless it’s working. In which case I am definitely teasing you.”
Yuhata made a faint choking noise, before turning decisively to face the controls. Her reflection’s blush had cross over from faint and reached fierce territory. Izana tried to muffle their giggles in her shoulder.
“I can feel you laughing Izana. Hurry up, and tell me what we are doing!”
And now she was pouting! Izana did their best to compose themselves, and focused back on the controls.
“Alright, so, the basics come first and that means walking. Do you remember how to do that?”
Yuhata glanced over the controls, and cleared her throat.
“Intellectually? Yes, I know what to push. But I’ve never actual-”
“And that’s what I am here for, Yuhata. I won't let you do anything dangerous.” Izana said reassuringly “Just give it a go.”
Yuhata cleared her throat one more time before tentatively grabbing the controls. Izana gave her wrists a reassuring squeeze.
The left arm of the Garde slowly lifted up in front of the cockpit.
“Oops.”
“It’s okay Yuhata. You had the right idea, just slightly in the wrong place. Try again.”
This time the left leg slowly lifted, before swinging forward awkwardly, and then the Garde crashed forward onto that leg.
“Well done, a step! Now the try the other one!”
The right leg followed the same trajectory as the first, and the Garde stumbled forward another step.
“You’re doing it! Keep going!”
The next step stumbling was better that the first. The second was wobbly, but still good. The third was far too fast and nearly caused the whole thing to fall over.
They continued on like this for several minutes: Yuhata gritting her teeth and wrestling the war machine into compliance, and Izana whispering gentle encouragement and quiet corrections in her ear. Then Yuhata seemed to catch the rhythm of it and within a another minute or two she was confidently striding the Garde out across the surface of Sidonia.
Izana watched Yuhata’s eyes shine bright with success and joy, and felt something loosen within their chest. This is what they had wanted to do, this single happy moment. Something for both of them to look back on and remember fondly.
“How do I run?” Yuhata asked breathlessly, turning to Izana.
Izana smiled back. “You don’t. To go faster, you have to fly. Wanna give it a go?”
Yuhata face betrayed a brief moment of uncertainty, before settling in determination. Izana was filled with pride at their brave new student, and how far she had come. And then, with a sudden feeling of mischievousness, Izana thumbed up the throttle.
Yuhata shrieked and pulled back on the controls, pulling the Garde into a gentle climb. Izana guided their hands over the controls, showing her how to steer, rotate, change speed.
Yuhata tried - shakily at first - but again Izana whispered quiet and calm instruction, carefully guiding her hands with their own. With each instruction the craft’s flight became stronger, more purposeful, and more confident.
Yuhata laughed and directed the Garde to skate across the hull of Sidonia before rocketing straight up and out into space, towards the distant form of the planet below.
Izana took their hands off the controls and wrapped them around Yuhata’s waist. This was it. Exactly what they had hoped they could do the moment they had the idea of taking Yuhata out in the type-18. To make a memory in this cockpit that wasn’t about death or violence or dismemberment.
Just Yuhata’s bright eyes, the sound of her laughter, and the feel of her shifting in their arms.
“Izana? Are you alright?” Izana opened their eyes and looked up. Yuhata was watching them in the reflection of the window, worry painted over her expression. They smiled back and tightened their hold around her waist.
“I’m fine Yuhata. Just happy.” Izana rested their head on her shoulder. “I had almost forgotten how much I love piloting, but watching you... Watching you brought it all back.”
Yuhata’s reflection blushed fiercely, and turned her attention back to the controls of the craft.
“I’m glad,” she said softly, resting her head as close to theirs as the helmets would allow. She stayed there for a few moments before coughing and straightening up.
“Now, time to find out what that idiot Captain did to my ship.”
Izana didn’t even try to hide their laugh this time.
--- --- ---
Far, far too soon, Izana was carefully guiding Yuhata back into the Garde hanger in the docks.
Yuhata had responsibilities as the new Captain she needed to be getting back too, and it wasn’t like Izana didn’t have things they should be doing instead of having fun. But it didn’t change the fact they didn’t want to end what have been, despite rough patches, a very nice evening.
As the Garde slowly slotted back into position with its silent fellows, Yuhata sat back with a sigh, hands going to her helmet.
“That takes a lot out of you, doesn’t it?” she said, after she wrestled the thing off her head.
Izana snorted, and look up from the list of shutdown commands they had been giving the Garde.
“Did you think the physical portion of our training was just to look good on camera?”
“No, I just assumed Kobayashi had fantasies of stabbing the Guana with her sword, and that somehow got projected onto the pilots.”
Izana laughed, and quietly marveled at how easily Yuhata seemed to do that. They released the door controls and pushed open the cockpit.
“That does explain the silly Kabizashi swords they gave us,” they admitted. “Also, you’re not denying we looked good on camera...”
“Why would I? After all, I had a hand in your uniform’s design.” Yuhata said, before she turned in surprise. “Wait, that’s true? I thought the engineers had made that up! They actually made you human sized swords?”
Izana smiled and offer her a hand getting out of the Grade. “If you like, when we get home I can my highly dangerous and highly expensive prop. ” They cocked their head “I don’t seem to remember the uniforms getting redesigned. When did that happen?”
Yuhata laughed as she put her hand in Izana’s. “You know, I think I would like to see that yes! I wonder if I can get Toha Industries to make me one?”
Izana pulled her up onto the hatch, and steadied her their before leading back out of her way
“Oh, I doubt they would be interested in giving a mere Captain such a honour,” Izana said, ”and you're avoiding the question. When did you redesign all the pilot’s suits? I would have noticed a thing like that.”
Yuhata smirked devilishly at them before pushing off and drifting over the docks, hands clasped mockingly behind her back.
“Everyone’s? Oh no no. I only redesigned your suit Izana,” she called out. “You must have noticed that your is… more snug than the others?”
Izana slipped and banged their head on the Garde’s hatch. “What!”
Yuhata cackled as she landed on the walkway. She spun around, drawing attention to the bulky and unflattering space suit she wore, before continuing.
“You didn’t? What about the colour patterning on the limbs? I was heavily inspired by those kneesocks you like to wear!”
Izana gaped down at her. “You didn’t! You're just teasing me!”
Yuhata stopped laughing, grinning back up at them with victory in her eyes.
“Of course not! Would I engage in such a blatant abuse of power just to tease you Izana?”
She paused a took a deep breath and looked up again, locking eyes with Izana.
“Unless it’s working ! Then I am definitely teasing you!” she shouted, before descending into uncontrollable giggles on the walkway.
Izana watched her, disbelief and fondness battling in their head. Of course Yuhata had been waiting the best part of an hour just to one up them. Of course she couldn’t just let it go like anyone else would have. And of course, after that masterful set up and perfect timing, she would ruin it all with loud snorting giggles.
Izana closed their eyes as a smile crept up their face, listening to Yuhata make a fool of herself on the walkway below.
This could work.
This relationship could actually work out.
This relationship could actually honestly work out, and both they and Yuhata wanted it to.
And Izana was eager to start.