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Twelve year old Gen's eyes grew wider and wider as the conversation continued.
“So… adults can actually do that?”
“Yes,” Xeno answered solemnly.
He had been trying to explain everything calmly and responsibly, but Gen's increasingly horrified expression was making that considerably more difficult.
“And… that's normal?”
“Among consenting adults, yes.”
Gen's cheeks burned.
She lowered her head, suddenly finding the floor extremely fascinating. Her fingers nervously picked at the edge of her sleeve while she tried to process everything her fathers had just explained.
“So…” She hesitated. “Is it painful?”
“It can be,” Xeno answered carefully. “Which is why adults are supposed to communicate, be careful, and never force anything.”
Gen swallowed.
She looked as though Xeno had just informed her that adulthood came with a mandatory exam she had absolutely no intention of taking.
“Then… how big is it?”
Xeno froze, meanwhile—
Stanley answered immediately. “Six to twelve inches.”
Xeno's head whipped toward his husband so quickly that Gen almost looked over, eyes widened and mouth agape.
For several seconds, he simply stared at Stanley as though his husband had just announced that the moon was made of cheese.
Six to twelve inches?
Stanley, meanwhile, looked completely serious—ignoring the stare he was receiving from his husband.
Unfortunately, Gen didn't notice Xeno's horrified expression.
Her own face had gone pale. “That's huge, Dad!”
“Not really,” Stanley said.
Xeno's expression became even more incredulous.
Not really?!
She stared at Stanley. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
Gen slowly bit the inside of her cheek as she looked genuinely traumatized by the information.
“I'm never having sex.”
“Good decision.” Stanley nodded with satisfaction.
Xeno finally found his voice. “Stanley.”
“What?”
“...Never mind.”
Discussing the lie Stanley made up in front of their daughter was not a good idea—especially when Gen looked up to Stanley so much.
Gen stood up.
Her ears were bright red as she hurried toward her bedroom, keeping her head down and refusing to make eye contact with either of them.
She walked faster with every step, as if putting enough distance between herself and the conversation might somehow make the entire subject disappear from her memory.
The moment her bedroom door closed, silence settled over the room.
Stanley nudged Xeno's side. “Stop gaping.”
“Seriously, Stan?” Xeno slowly turned toward him.
“What?”
“Six to twelve inches?”
Stanley shrugged. “At least our princess won't be curious about sex for a while.”
Xeno stared at him.
He wanted to argue.
He really did.
Unfortunately, he was still trying to understand how Stanley had managed to deliver completely incorrect information with the confidence of someone presenting a military briefing.
Finally, Xeno sighed and rubbed his forehead. “She's going to grow up, you know.”
“I know.”
“She'll become a teenager.”
“I know.” Stanley sighed mournfully.
“She'll have hormones.”
“I know.”
“She'll probably have crushes.”
Stanley glanced toward Gen's closed bedroom door. “That part is inevitable.”
Xeno's expression darkened, he hated thinking about it.
Gen was still his little girl. His curious, energetic, troublesome little girl. The thought of her growing older was one thing but the thought of someone hurting her feelings was another.
“I'm not ready.” Xeno leaned back with a sigh.
Stanley gave him a sideways look. “You don't get a choice.”
This time, Xeno was the one who muttered: “I know.”
“And you're overthinking.”
“I know.”
“And you were about to start planning something ridiculous if ever boys approached her.”
Xeno paused. “…I wasn't.”
Stanley raised an eyebrow.
Xeno looked away.
***
“So… you and Senku had been… intimate, right?”
Xeno had asked the question so casually that Gen initially wondered if she had misheard him.
She slowly raised an eyebrow.
Across from her, Stanley was casually cleaning his knife, the weapon having become his main means of defense considering he still wasn't allowed anywhere near a gun.
Gen stared between the two of them.
They were sitting together during a break from working on the engine for the rocket that would eventually take them to the moon.
It had been a surprisingly peaceful afternoon.
Peaceful, at least, for the Kingdom of Science.
For Gen herself? That was another story.
Her own situationship was complicated enough without having to deal with two overly curious fathers apparently deciding that her private life was now a perfectly acceptable topic of conversation.
“…Why were you asking?” Gen took another sip of water, already suspicious.
This time, Stanley answered. “We wanted to know if Senku was treating you well during sex.”
Gen promptly spat her water directly into Stanley's face.
There was silence afterwards.
Stanley slowly blinked, as water dripped from his hair. Meanwhile, Xeno calmly reached for a towel and handed it to him.
It was one Xeno had made himself.
Stanley accepted it without complaint and began wiping his face.
Gen stared at both of them.
She couldn't believe this was happening.
Actually, she could.
These were her fathers.
“So?” Xeno turned his attention back to her as though nothing unusual had happened.
Gen's eyes twitched, not answering yet.
Xeno raised an eyebrow. “We're merely concerned about your sex life.”
She stared at him, then she stared at Stanley, and then she looked back at Xeno.
There were many things she could have said.
Gen could have demanded to know why they thought this was an appropriate conversation. She could have reminded them that she was an adult and perfectly capable of handling her own relationships. And she could have asked whether either of them had completely lost their minds.
Instead, Gen simply stood up, her expression remained perfectly blank.
She gave them both a sharp, deeply unimpressed look.
Then she walked away.
Neither father stopped her. Thank goodness, right?
As Gen marched off, one thought repeated itself in her head.
Seriously.
Who asked their child about their sex life?
Apparently, her fathers did.
And judging by the way they had both looked at her before she parted ways from them, they probably weren't even finished.
***
“Why did you two ant-way the information?” Gen asked and nearly rolled her eyes.
It had been a month since the previous interrogation—or, as Gen preferred to call it, the day her fathers collectively forgot the concept of parental boundaries.
Apparently, they had not learned their lesson.
They were asking again.
Xeno sighed as though Gen were the one being unreasonable. “We merely wish to know whether you are being pampered as you deserve.”
“You deserve to be wined and dined.” Stanley nodded beside him.
“Dad, it’s a stone world.”
“So?”
“Anyway,” Gen loudly said as she crossed her arms, exasperated. “My relationship with Senku-chan wasn't exactly that kind of elationship-ray, and we decided not to attach our feelings to it—you two know that very well, right?”
The moment she said it, both of her fathers' expressions soured.
Gen immediately regretted bringing it up. She remembered how badly her heart had broken because of Senku.
Never mind the fact that Senku had apparently figured out his own feelings far too late.
That particular detail had done absolutely nothing to improve her fathers' opinion of him though.
“Maybe I should cut his dick off…” Stanley muttered darkly.
Xeno nodded with disturbingly calm approval. “Perhaps you should begin with his testicles.”
Gen's eyes widened.
Oh.
Oh, no.
She finally understood what this conversation was actually about.
They weren't asking because they were curious, they were looking for an excuse!
An excuse to hurt Senku-chan.
Those two were clearly trying to find an excuse to hurt Senku-chan's pretty bird!
And that was a bird Gen was rather fond of.
Very fond of it, actually.
It was one of the qualities she loved about Senku—and, if she was being completely honest, probably one of the reasons she kept coming back to him even after he had broken her heart.
So, absolutely not.
She was not about to let her fathers hurt the poor bird.
Gen immediately decided that this particular situation required her intervention, knowing she absolutely could not allow her fathers to declare war on his reproductive organs.
“Wait!” Gen immediately raised a hand and both men looked at her, so she continued. “Senku-chan has been good to me!”
Xeno tilted his head. “Has he?”
His voice was remarkably calm.
Gen knew that tone.
That was the tone Xeno used when he had just discovered an interesting piece of information and intended to extract every last detail from it.
“Yes!” Gen insisted.
Stanley stopped sharpening his knife.
“Well, then.” Xeno placed his hands on his hips in a way it felt so elegant, his expression remained polite. “Do tell us exactly how he has been treating you.”
“Yeah… does he pleasure you well?” Stanley asked next.
Gen's smile froze.
She had just walked directly into the trap.
Sometimes, Gen had to remind herself that her fathers were not the definition of normal parents.
Normal parents did not ask their adult daughter questions like that.
“Yes!” Gen groaned as she shouted.
There. Question answered.
She had hoped that would be enough. Conversation over, right?
Unfortunately, her fathers were apparently committed to ruining her afternoon.
“Oh?” Stanley tilted his head. “How?”
Gen paused, thinking about how she could elaborate on exactly how good Senku was and—
Her mind immediately supplied several memories.
There had been plenty of rough nights between them, sometimes with multiple rounds before they finally collapsed together to rest. They had even been reckless enough to fool around in public places whenever they were certain nobody else was around.
Gen's face slowly heated.
Nope. Absolutely not.
Her fathers did not need to know any of that.
Not unless she wanted Xeno to develop another elaborate murder plan and Stanley to start sharpening his knife with renewed enthusiasm.
She would like to preserve what little remained of their sanity. Thank you very much.
“Lots of vanilla uhh sex!” Gen blurted instead.
Both fathers stared at her.
Gen realized, about half a second too late, that she had somehow made that sentence sound even more suspicious.
“And even though Senku-chan is small,” she continued, “he's been very good to me!”
“Small?” Xeno looked amused.
Stanley coughed, and it felt like he was even hiding a laugh. Or was that Gen’s imagination?
Gen nodded confidently. “Yes.”
“How small?” Xeno asked.
“Seven inches!”
Stanley immediately choked on his spit.
Xeno's expression went completely blank. For one horrifying second, he looked as though he was about to be sick.
Of course, Senku was a bit bigger than Gen was used to, but she figured they were compatible because of her small vulva. As far as Gen was concerned, they had never had any real problems with compatibility.
Gen blinked. “What?”
Stanley coughed violently into his fist. At the same time, Xeno kept staring at her. Neither man seemed capable of forming a coherent sentence.
“Dad?” Gen frowned.
Stanley continued coughing.
Gen moved toward him, concern replacing her embarrassment. “Dad, are you okay?”
Stanley waved one hand, trying to reassure her while simultaneously fighting for his life. “I'm fine.”
“He is fine.”
Xeno reached over and patted Stanley firmly on the back. Perhaps a little too firmly.
Which made Stanley wheezed.
“Perhaps this is karma.” Xeno gave him another hard pat, and it seemed he’s both simultaneously glaring at his husband and telepathically telling him something.
Gen blinked. “arma-kay for what?”
“Ask him later.”
Stanley shot Xeno a betrayed look between coughs.
Xeno merely gave him a sharp smile.
Gen stared between them, thoroughly confused. She had absolutely no idea what was happening anymore.
Eventually, Stanley recovered enough to sit upright again.
Gen waited.
…Neither of her fathers asked another question. That was strange but Gen wasn't about to complain.
She had already given them more information about her sex life than she had ever intended to share.
If they wanted to stop asking questions, Gen was perfectly happy to let them. So she eventually forgot about the whole thing.
Later, however, Gen completely forgot what she had intended to ask Stanley about the supposed karma.
She shrugged it off. It wasn't important.
What mattered was that her fathers had finally stopped interrogating her.
***
What Gen didn't know was that neither Xeno nor Stanley was satisfied.
They were traumatized.
Deeply, profoundly traumatized.
They had wanted reassurance that Senku was treating their daughter well.
Instead, they had accidentally acquired information that neither of them would ever be able to erase from their memories.
Neither spoke for a long moment.
Stanley finally looked at his husband. “I never want to ask her about this again.”
“Agreed.” Xeno nodded solemnly.
Another silence as Stanley rubbed his face.
“We raised her.”
Xeno said. “Yes.”
“She told us that.”
“Yes.”
Stanley sighed. “And we asked.”
“Yes.”
Then, Stanley stared into the distance. “I regret everything.”
“So do I.” Xeno sighed.
With that, neither of them had the slightest interest in knowing anything else about Gen's sex life afterwards.
They had asked for information, and received one.
Both of them had learned far more than they ever wanted to know.
And, most importantly, they had discovered that sometimes parental curiosity came with consequences.
***
The next day, Senku felt a disturbance in the air.
He looked up and saw Stanley Snyder was glaring at him from across the worksite.
It was the kind of stare that made Senku wonder if he had somehow committed an offense he didn't remember committing.
Senku slowly raised an eyebrow.
What the hell did he do this time? Because he’s ten billionth percent that he had never been out of line recently.
And, as if that wasn't suspicious enough, Xeno Winfield—the man who had spent years mentoring him—wouldn't even look him in the eye.
Senku's eyes narrowed.
Okay. Something was definitely wrong.
Xeno continued avoiding eye contact while Stanley continued glaring at him.
Senku slowly looked between the two men.
And he shivered.
For once, even his incredible scientific brain couldn't provide an answer.
Seriously, What the hell did I do this time?