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All of Taeyong’s stupid nervous habits are showing. Hands dripping of sweat, uncontrollable shaking of his legs, licking of his lips and the constant itch to light up a cigarette he knows he can’t be doing because he promised Jaehyun he’d stop the minute he had asked nicely during one of those night time talks they do.
“Stop fidgeting dad,” Yuji is driving the car and Taeyong tries to stop shaking his leg in the passenger seat (another nervous habit that he thought he'd shaken off years ago). He tries to distract himself from tinkering with the knobs of the radio to find a good happy tune to draw out the irrational thoughts in his mind because nothing was going to go wrong, everything is going to be alright just like Jaehyun said.
But Taeyong can't help himself from being scared because one look at Yuji and she would want to take him back. The constant thoughts of him being a fuck up as father won't let him breathe evenly. From not being able to provide enough attention to having no power to provide a mother's touch, what if his son still craved for a mother’s touch? Taeyong cannot obviously give that because he’s a fucking dude.
“Take a right, Ji. Righ- Now! Oh, fuck,” Yuji misses the turn Taeyong instructs him to take but if Taeyong’s nerves weren’t up to his eyebrows he wouldn’t be this worked up about turns and navigation because he always praised Yuji’s driving, he always made it a point to compare his driving skills with Jaehyun and whenever Jaehyun would ask Taeyong who he liked best when driving, he would answer Yuji without missing a beat.
Yuji stops at a red light, puts the driver in park and pulls the hand break turning his head into the direction of his anxious father.
“Dad, you’ve got to chill out. We’re just meeting her, she’s not going to get me and if she does ask, you've got to have a little more faith in me,” one hand gripping his father’s elbow and the other holding the steering wheel while taking short glances at the stoplight in front of him.
Yuji is twenty three now and he’s in his junior year in university. Soccer season just ended and the high of winning this year’s championship (two peat!!) still sat on his cheeks and shoulders. Yura, Yuji’s mother, had called Jaehyun one random day two weeks ago asking if she could come see Yuji because it had been so long since she’s seen his son. Jaehyun did the necessary private investigator interrogation over the phone because he wouldn’t let anything break his family apart even if it was Yuji’s mother.
But she promised she had no ulterior motives, told him about the life she had right now. Three kids, two in high school and one in grade school and his husband working in the tall business towers in Jongno from 9-5. Yura tells Jaehyun she’s happy where she is and that she would like to see Jaehyun too if he would like that as well, she explains to him that she didn’t want loose ends hanging around her life and she’d like to right her wrongs while she can.
Jaehyun leaves out the parts where Yura wanted to meet with him too, he declines that invite but he wasn’t about to rob his son’s rights to see his mother. He had asked him and he had agreed, it was Taeyong who was shaking in his bones when Yuji nodded his head in approval. Jaehyun couldn’t do anything but offer a small smile to his husband who was nervously shaking his leg under the dinner table.
"You're right, I'm sorry," Taeyong nods.
The green light comes on and Yuji zooms past the car on their left which was a plush Audi Quatro and takes the correct right turn that Taeyong was stressing about earlier. He has yet to open his mouth but his shaking leg comes back to life and Yuji doesn’t comment about it anymore.
-
Yuji parks with ease and puts the car in park once again, pulling the hand break to look at his dad again who is distracted with his thoughts so he shakes him when Taeyong ignores him for the third time calling his name.
“Huh, wha- oh. We’re here,” his voice is shook, his eyes are shook, his whole being is shook. Yuji frowns at his father’s worries because there is absolutely nothing to worry about. If anything he should be the one anxious and shaking because he hasn’t seen his mother ever since the break up and he was still a baby back then, he can’t even remember what she looked like, he has no facial recognition or anything whatsoever towards his mother. He was simply here because he was curious, which was natural, he wanted to see the person who gave birth to him, to thank her but in no means that he would jump into her arms if she had asked her.
They pile out of the car and get in the cafe where she said she would be, Yuji doesn’t know who to look for but he knows Taeyong does and his father searches for a pair of eyes that he prefers not to see, Yuji knows he’s found her when his steps slow down and he zeroes in a woman who was refined and aged gracefully, sitting at a stool where she is sipping a cup of coffee with a girl in a school uniform digging into a piece of cake, smiling as she talk to her mother.
Taeyong is frozen to his spot. He knows Yura is beautiful, he has seen her in pictures, Jaehyun still keeps their wedding photobook in the basement that he thinks Taeyong doesn’t know about and Jaehyun is really open when he asks about Yura, even shows him her Facebook account when he asks him if he ever talks to her all throughout the years after their divorce.
But he never expected her to glow like this in person, she looked expensive like the watches displayed in department stores you had to get a loan for so that you could afford it. The lines on her face were minimal, her features naturally breathtaking and serene, eyes sleepy attractive. Taeyong instantly gets why Jaehyun had fallen for this beauty. He rethinks his confidence in meeting her because he’s so underwhelming when she’s so perfect even just sitting like that, drinking her coffee.
Yuji notes how his father self-consciously stares at his mother from across the room so he takes his hand and drags his father to where his mother is sitting with her daughter who was busy stuffing her face with cake, completely oblivious of the bat shit craziness that is happening around her. The complete opposite of her refined posture, back straight and fingers long as he keeps it wrapped around the biodegradable coffee cup.
“Hello. Are you Yura?” Yuji politely asks, Taeyong is stupefied in his spot, a half step behind Yuji.
The woman sitting smiles widely, she sizes Yuji up and he feels a bit violated because she’s drinking every single nook and cranny of his existence but he can’t blame her, it had been twenty two years since she had last seen him. But unlike her, Yuji doesn’t take his time to memorise how her hair is parted or how her rings perfectly sit in her candle like fingers.
“Yes. Yes, I am. Look at you, Yuji. My son, my Yuji. I missed you,” she looks like she wants to put her arms around him and he’s not sure he wants to but because he feels obliged to do so he gives her this chance, it’s been twenty two years. From the corner of his eyes he could see his father still when she took a step closer to put her arms around her son, how he looked away, eyes crestfallen when she rested her cheek on his chest with her eyes closed and he could feel her cheeks pull up into a smile of content.
It was the girl in the school uniform that broke up the reunion hug when she tugged on her mother’s sleeve and asked who the guy she was hugging.
Introductions were made, Yura introduced Yuji as her oppa which she gladly accepted and to Yuji, she pointed with her outstretched hand told him that his sister’s name was little Hana and she bounced happily, overusing the endearment and using oppa in every single sentence.
Yuji notices how his father is simply ignored by Yura who was smiling from ear to ear, she sat back down and invited to Yuji to do the same, the girls were seated and she didn’t even spare one look at his father who was starting to look pale in comparison to how he looked earlier when they left the house.
He felt irritation boiling in the tips of his fingers, no one does that to the man who raised him, loved him like he was his own son, had treated him to life greatest pleasures in exchange of his own. Yuji holds his father’s hand pulls him a little closer to his side then introduces him a little louder than he was supposed to but he felt like he needed her to know that he was offended by how he had treated his father.
“Hello, Yura-ssi. Nice to meet you, my name is Lee Taeyong,” his smile was anxious and to the point of cracking but he was so nice and polite to his mother and her response kind of made him regret that he agreed to meet with her in the first place.
She sized him up but not like the longing and kind look she had on when she drunk the presence of her son but like she was meeting his husband’s mistress in the flesh and the curve of her lips implied that she didn’t like his father one bit and instead of introducing herself properly like she did with Yuji, she simply nodded her lightly like she couldn’t be bothered to introduce herself again.
At this point, Yuji was turned off by how prehistoric his mother was acting. She was being a high class bitch that he knew she was, she painted a good kind of physical attribute for the world to see but inside she was a nasty green monster that cannot be appeased. But because Yuji is not going to stoop down to her stupid level he rounds the table to sit next to his sister and let his dad sit next to his mother who looked like she wants to complain but she can’t so instead she scoots a bit farther away, mini scoots to mask the subtle distaste of sitting next to her husband’s new love but they all saw it and Yuji is fuming inside right now.
“Oppa, could you open this for me?” his sister asks him so nicely, her eyes shining at the new addition to their family. He bends closer to her sister and takes the cup she asks for him to open and she squeals when he gives it back to her.
At least her daughter has manners.
“Try it, oppaaaa! It’s my favourite,” he takes a small sip from the drink he just opened and she smiles at him as he gives it back to her gently then what she does after surprises him immensely.
The drink is right under Taeyong’s nose and she asks him if he wants to taste as well. Taeyong gives out a kind hearted smile and opens his mouth to speak before her mother takes the drink and drinks from it.
“I don’t think he wants to try this, Hanayah,” and then gives it back to her with a fake plastic smile that she puts on when she attends those parent-teacher meetings.
That was the last straw for Yuji who stood up as quick as he runs in the field during practice. No one disrespects his father like that especially in front of him. She was being irrational and petty that he knows why his Papa had left her years ago. Instead of making a scene though, he rounds the table again to where she sits and towers over her before crouching down, his face near her ears where it’s decorated with an oversized shiny earring that’s probably worth more than his PS4 and computer combined.
“I am thankful that you gave birth to me, mother. And to tell you the truth, that is the only thing that is making me keep my respect for you,” he chuckles lightly then his voice turns serious again.
“But you don’t do that to my father. You don’t disrespect him like that when he’s trying so hard to keep it together. I know what you feel, you feel like you’ve been replaced well guess what? You’re right and he has done a damn good job at that,” her eyes widen as he keeps on talking, he doesn’t see the fists forming under the table but he doesn’t care if she hurts her, he actually wants to break her in two for how she’s playing mean girl to his father.
“You’ve just burned every bridge that could connect us. This is the last time I will be seeing you willingly. Please extend my regards to your family and I hope you never contact us again,” he stands up and doesn’t even wait for her to reply, he touches his father’s shoulder lovingly and tells him that they need to go, makes up an excuse of having another engagement so that Hana wouldn’t catch on how disrespectful her mother has been this whole time.
“Hana-yah, nice to meet you. Do well in school ok?” Yuji waves and pats his dad to do the same, the girl greets them back happily with chubby cheeks and sticky fingers. His mother is unmoving in her seat where she looks and feels shocked at the words her son whispered to her.
“Goodbye, Yura-ssi,” the unfamiliarity of his tone should stand as an end note of their relationship. She had given birth to him, that’s well and good but once crossed the line of mistreating the people he loves, he is going to hurt you right back and more.
-
Taeyong is stunned when he clasps the seatbelt over his chest, Yuji is leaving the curb to join the highway but Taeyong holds his hand that’s on the gear and it makes him place it back to park before he could even leave.
“You know you didn’t have to do that right? She’s still your mother,” his voice sounded so sullen, like he’s torn if he’s going to be happy that his son had stuck out for him or scold him for being so plain mean to his biological mother.
“Let’s face it, dad. You would have gone all beast mode if someone did that to me, I was just a little creative with words and subtle enough to hurt her emotionally than physically,” Taeyong couldn’t respond to his son because he was right, his claws would have come out like Wolverine if anyone had done that to Yuji or Jaehyun.
“I guess you’re right. When did you become so smart, baby boy,” he smiles fondly, hands on his elbow and then letting it go, Yuji puts the car back in drive and joins the highway to go back home where his Papa is probably biting his nails in anxiety.
“Ever since I turned into a man, I’m not a baby anymore, dad,” he pouts. For all the habits he could have gotten from Taeyong why did he had to inherit that pouting thing, he hasn’t been able to refuse that ever since he had tried it on him. Damn, his son has been using his own tricks on himself.
Yuji chuckles to himself and he studies his son’s side profile, the tallness of his nose and notes the features he got from Yura which were very minimal because he looked like Jaehyun no doubt and Yura’s eyelashes weren’t really that special.
He had grown so well, he tells himself and makes a mental note to tell Jaehyun about this encounter later tonight when they’re pressed to their bed, trying to ebb away the day’s stress in their bed as they snuggle close to each other.
“But you’ll always be my baby though,” Taeyong looks outside the window where raindrops blur his vision of the highway.
Yuji is nodding to himself, smiling at how he knows his father wouldn’t let him win in this conversation.
“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Taeyong thinks this day isn’t so bad after all.