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Ryland was just packing up for the day after his class when Rocky came bounding into the Eridian atmosphere side of the classroom. "Why Grace make Adrian angry?"
He startled at that. Had he made Adrian angry? "I'm not sure what you're talking about, Rock. This is the first I'm hearing about Adrian being upset at me."
"Adrian meet with Simon, then come home mad mad mad. Adrian say they are making a new dome for Grace so Simon can have his home back!" Rocky gave a little stomp to emphasize how upset he was about this news.
Oh. Oh no. He had an idea about what might have set Adrian off and he wasn't sure if this was something he could fix. When Simon had been crying about Grace not loving him, he hadn't given him a polite lie or a heartfelt reassurance. He'd told the truth and he hadn't tried to soften the blow much at all. He'd broken the other man's heart, he was sure and he felt like a massive jerk about it. He'd never been good at lying or at thinking on his feet in social situations, but even he knew that he shouldn't have been so blunt about his feelings, or lack thereof, for the other man. And now his best friend's mate was furious at him for hurting Simon's feelings.
"So, I may have kind of, broken Simon's heart a little," Grace said, afraid to tell his friend the whole truth. He was practically wringing his hands in nervousness at the reaction Rocky was sure to have. He certainly couldn't tell him that they were still—physically intimate—after he'd told Simon he could never love him. He couldn't admit to being that selfish.
Ryland would love to see some kind of facial expression on his friend. He had gotten pretty good at reading Eridian body language over the years, especially as it pertained to Rocky in particular, but it could still be difficult to tell what kind of a reaction the alien was having to his words. "Grace was mean to Simon? Grace hurt Simon's feelings? How? Why?"
Right, he was disappointed and confused. That pretty much mirrored how Ryland felt about himself right now. "Simon said that he knew I didn't love him. I confirmed it. I told him I'm still in love with Tom and probably always will be. I just can't love him the way he deserves to be loved." Ryland felt he was pleading with his friend to understand where he was coming from. He was afraid it would be a losing battle.
"Understand. Grace miss lost mate. I can't fault you for that. I thought Grace would have new mate with Simon here, but we just hurt Simon instead," Rocky slumped down in a posture of sadness that one didn't have to be Eridian to understand. Ryland felt relieved to be understood, but it didn't do anything about the guilt he felt. That was probably as it should be. He deserved to feel guilty for the way he'd been treating Simon.
"We?" Ryland questioned. "I'm pretty sure I'm the one who used him like that. That's not on you, bud."
"Rocky insisted that Simon and Grace share a dome and a house. Rocky put you two together without making sure you were compatible as mates," Rocky clearly wasn't going to let Ryland shoulder all the blame himself.
Instead of addressing that as he should, he took the coward's way out and changed the subject. "Did Adrian say anything more about the living situation? Am I going to be forced to move to this new dome? Did Simon say anything about it?" Ryland asked, anxious to know what would be happening to him, and feeling selfish for prioritizing himself when he really should be apologizing to Simon.
Rocky huffed out the Eridian equivalent of a sigh. "Adrian say they want to be called 'Polaris' again like Simon called them before we returned from Tau Ceti. They said Grace changed everything that Simon built for himself as soon as we arrived and they are going to fix it. Grace gets his own dome and Simon keeps the one built for him. New dome will be smaller. Because Adrian said Grace made Simon feel small and unimportant."
"Small and unimportant," those words echoed in his mind. He'd made the only other human he'd see for the rest of his life feel less than and for what reason? His own stubbornness? Pride? Arrogance? He'd dug his heels in over words and names even though Simon had been here years before him. He'd known Adrian—Polaris—for three years and then Ryland swooped in and insisted on calling them by a name he'd decided on for them before they'd even met. He'd reveled in the way the Eridians treated him for saving their star, pretending to be shy about it, but treating it as if he was due some level of respect for his work with the Taumoeba. He hadn't even really acknowledged that the Eridians had been so well equipped to house him because they'd already worked with Simon to make a home for Simon. Ryland had just kind of barged in like he owned the place and made it about himself, demanding more and more, even an opportunity to teach their children. He certainly didn't leave the selfish part of himself light years away, it seemed.
Ryland continued his preparations to go back to the little cottage he still shared with Simon for the time being. A new dome was probably for the best. Some time apart would let them both have time to reevaluate where they stood in regards to each other. He hoped that the other man would still allow him to visit. After having gone years without seeing another human in person, it felt like knowing another human was here without being allowed to interact would be torture. Then again, maybe that's what he deserved. He shouldn't have allowed himself to become involved with Simon knowing that he wasn't ready to give up Tom. It wasn't fair to Simon.
Things were as awkward as they'd ever been when he arrived back to their—or rather, Simon's—house. They both avoided eye contact and side stepped around each other. It was a walking on eggshells kind of feeling, something that hadn't happened since shortly after Ryland arrived and they were trying to figure each other out. They'd been through a lot together and gotten to know each other reasonably well, and now his big mouth had ruined everything. For the first time in months, Ryland slept alone in the second bedroom, the one the Eridians had added for him when he arrived. He supposed that Simon would turn the room into a gym or office or something once he had the dome to himself again. It's not like he would want a guest room to accommodate the man who had broken his heart.