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"But Douglas, I know I'm right!"
"Arthur, though it pains me to say this, you are most definitely not right. In fact, I would go so far as to declare that you are completely incorrect. Wrong, even."
Douglas and Arthur sat in the portacabin waiting for Martin and Carolyn to finish the daily reports in Carolyn's office. Douglas truly didn't remember how they had gotten onto the subject of who had the faster car, but now Arthur was adamant. Douglas wondered just what went on in the steward's funny little brain most of the time.
"I know my car, and it can beat your Lexus in a race. My Panda is really fast!" Arthur took a bite of his apple, juice running down his chin, and yelled "Zoom!" as if to punctuate the fact that his Panda was the faster car.
Douglas shook his head, his eyes flitting heavenward, and tried not to laugh.
"So, Arthur, what you are saying is a Fiat Panda can beat a Lexus in a race."
"A fair one!" Arthur said, apple spit just missing Douglas' uniform trousers.
"Yes, of course, a fair one," Douglas repeated, sliding his chair back a trifle further to avoid being spat on by an overeager Arthur.
"I know!" Arthur cried, dropping his apple and jumping to his feet all in one go. "Let's have a race. Now! While Mum and Skip are busy! It'll be fun! What do you say, Douglas? Let's race! Please!"
Arthur jumped up and down in place, shaking the tiny portacabin for dear life. Carolyn popped her head out of her office with a vengeance.
"Arthur, stop that jumping! You'll bring down the building! Douglas, why didn't you stop him?"
"Me? What am I, his babysitter? He's 29 years old, Carolyn! Quite old enough to make his own decisions."
"Behave, you two."
When Carolyn popped her head back into her office, Arthur stopped jumping, but began clapping.
"Oh, come on, Douglas! Are you chicken? Afraid you might lose?"
Douglas snorted. "I would not lose, Arthur. A Lexus and a Panda are two very different creatures, and it just so happens that a Lexus is the faster of the two. It's a fact. Scientifically proven. A Lexus was specifically designed to beat a Panda in a fair race. It says so in the copy."
Arthur started fishing in his pockets. "How much?"
"How much what?" Douglas asked.
"I'll wager with you. How much do you want to wager that my Panda will beat your Lexus in a fair race? I have -" Arthur pulled his fist out, lint falling to the floor, and checked the contents. "- Twenty, thirty, oh, fifty p. Wow. Didn't know I had that much!"
Douglas did laugh then, a deep, rolling laugh that he was helpless to control.
"You want to wager....fifty....fifty p....that your car....and my car...fifty p? Oh, that's too rich for my blood, Arthur!"
Douglas continued laughing, knowing it could release the Kraken known as Carolyn at any moment, but he couldn't help it. Arthur looked so determined and so put upon that Douglas was helpless before him.
"Alright, then. My car. I'll wager my car. If I lose, you win my car, Douglas."
That stopped him. Douglas stared, gobsmacked.
"Arthur, have you lost your mind?"
"And if I win, you have to be nice to Skip. All of the time. Deal?"
Arthur put his hand out, actually expecting Douglas to shake.
"Wait a moment, Arthur. Think about this. Are you sure -"
"Deal?" Arthur asked more forcefully.
Douglas smiled. Full-on smiled. With teeth and everything.
Arthur stepped back a pace.
"Deal," Douglas growled.
Neither Douglas nor Arthur spoke of that day to anyone. However, Douglas tried to be nice to Martin as much as possible, and Arthur was glad for the effort. So, when Arthur offered to wager with Douglas on their trip to Gdansk, Carolyn was none the wiser.
"No, you won't!" she stated emphatically. No son of hers was going to lose to a certified cheater.
"Oh, but Mum -"
"Don't 'Oh, but Mum' me!"
"But Mum, you don't understand -"
"Arthur, light of my life, do NOT make me take your car from you as punishment. You know I'll do it. I've done it before. Now, no more of this foolishness!"
"But, Mum, you can't take my car from me."
"Of course I can!"
"No, you can't -"
"Arthur! Yes, I can! Who owns your car?"
After two beats, Arthur looked Carolyn squarely in the eye.
Douglas smiled.
"Douglas does."