Work Text:
“God, they hire zombies at the BAU now?”
A weird sense of shame shot through Spencer. They were supposed to represent the department, and here he was, looking like he’d been dragged through the bush backwards. He hadn’t been able to sleep the night before; his nose was completely blocked, and breathing through his mouth felt like swallowing broken glass, so that didn’t help much either. He looked completely frazzled despite spending most of the flight trying to fix himself in the tiny bathroom.
In truth, he probably shouldn’t be working, but with Jason gone and his training being top priority, he didn’t think it was an option. The employee handbook argued it was a completely valid option, but that wasn’t aimed at people who passed the academy by the skin of their teeth and were too young for the post they currently held. Everyone was waiting for him to slip up and, whilst they couldn’t fire him for being sick, they could certainly hold it against him privately.
The officer waited for his response as he tried to think of something to say. Being honest wouldn’t serve him well here. The department they were visiting had made it clear they were put off by his age already, and being sick wouldn’t help the meekness they saw in him. What would the others do? Aaron would probably ignore the comment or flex his superiority to get out of the conversation. Since he didn’t have any authority and ignoring it would come across as snobbish from someone of a lower status, he couldn’t go with that. Derek would joke it off, and the tension would be dissolved immediately, but Spencer wasn’t particularly funny. He tried to think of something he could say with the right inflexion to get the same reaction.
“My boss won’t let me take a sick day,” he replied, trying to keep his tone in the right spot. He contorted and pulled at his features to get the right expression to match.
“Tell me about it,” the officer chuckled. “Just try to keep it contained in here, kid. We don’t want an outbreak.” It was probably a continuation of the joke, but he still nodded earnestly.
Spencer didn’t think much of the interaction. Any other person would forget about it entirely. He got on with his work as best he could, bouncing his knee instead of spinning on the office chair so he didn’t make himself more nauseous. He scribbled down notes as Derek and Aaron gave their theories. He knew he wasn’t contributing much, but he wasn’t sure why Aaron kept giving him odd glances. Maybe he was waiting for him to pull his weight. What was the point of getting paid to be here if he wasn’t saying anything? He should say something, but he didn’t have any new ideas, and whilst he could pull some statistics, he found they weren’t well received if that was all he had to say.
“Morgan? Could you give us a moment?”
“Uh, sure? I’m out of coffee anyway,” he responded unsurely. He grabbed his mug, giving a glance to the pair before leaving. Spencer almost wanted to beg him to stay. He wasn’t the best at recognising when things were about to go south, but they were certainly going there now as Aaron took a seat beside him and looked at him seriously. Well, more seriously than usual. He sniffled and shrivelled back. Perhaps if he made himself small enough he could disappear amongst the atoms and avoid whatever the hell was coming next.
“Reid, would you say I’m a fair supervisor?”
That’s a trick question! He could’ve smiled with pride at recognising it if he wasn’t faced with having to reply to it. He swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling sicker than he’d begun, and wracked his brain for something. The obvious answer was to agree. Nod and smile and say yes sir, you’re the best boss ever. This was a trick question, though, so maybe he should say no, but that wasn’t true. Aaron gave him plenty of leeway when he needed it, and he was supportive and strict at the right times. Spencer knew what was expected of him and what to expect in return, which was all he could ask.
He tried to find clues in Aaron’s face but felt no more sure about what to say. Was it worth faking an emergency? His phone was in his pocket, so he couldn’t pretend to have seen a text come through. He could use his sickness to his advantage, fake needing to vomit. That would buy time for him to figure out what the point of the question was, but what if he never figured it out? Then he’d come back and get stuck in the same hole he was in now. He could ask Jason for help if he escaped now, but knowing his mentor, the solution would come in the form of a metaphor he’d have to decipher first. He could ask Derek, but then Derek would probably tell Aaron, and Aaron would find out that he was pretending to go vomit to get out of the question, and he’d probably take that the wrong way.
Spencer was too sick for the mental gymnastics. Oh wait! He could counter with his own question.
“Why?” Great job, Spencer, wonderful socialising.
“An officer claims you told them that your boss wouldn’t let you take a sick day. Did you say that?” Oh! Well, that was much easier to answer.
“Yes.”
“Why would you say that?”
“They asked if they were hiring zombies at the BAU, and I assumed the correct response was to respond lightheartedly, so I said my boss won’t let me take a sick day, as it seemed the most appropriate,” he explained easily.
Still, Aaron looked serious. He tilted his head in confusion. It couldn’t have been a genuine question. Zombies didn’t exist, at least not in the way pop culture presented them, and he assumed anyone trusted with a gun wouldn’t believe both in the concept of zombies and that zombies could be hired for government jobs. He took a sip from his mug as he contemplated how this could’ve possibly gone pear-shaped. His tone could be touch and go, but he’d been very careful to keep the right pitch and emphasis to show it was a joke. Unless they struggled similarly and took it at face value. Yet they’d taken it as he intended, retorting with their own joke. They could’ve complained about his sickness. The first sentence may have been an amicable joke, but the second may have been a real warning.
“So you know if you’re sick, you can take time off.”
“Technically, yes.”
“Why technically?”
He cast his eyes to the floor. It seemed childish now to fear being looked down upon for a normal human experience and how it’d be regarded, but it still felt like a real concern to be wary of. Especially if Jason decided at the end of his break that he didn't want to return, which he doubted would happen, but it was always a possibility. He had to secure himself to the roots of the team, and going off sick for something he could still work through would sabotage that attempt.
To his own horror, he started to feel his face go red and his running nose somehow got worse. He was on the verge of tears. Why was he on the verge of crying? Aaron hadn’t been unkind to him; no one had. Everyone kept their comments about his age to themselves, and he’d only overheard it by accident. They’d been considerate enough to pretend they were okay with it, and sure, they were babying him slightly, but he’d dealt with much worse on a case. It had to be because he was sick. His nervous system was overloaded with the weight of illness; granted, it was just a cold, but it was a stressor nonetheless, so now he didn’t have the emotional capacity to face criticism. Even the smallest shift in voice made him tense up in anticipation.
Now felt like a good time to use the vomit excuse, but he didn’t trust his voice not to crack.
“I know you were trying to joke, but you have to be careful how it’s accepted.”
“That’s-” He shouldn’t talk back to his supervisor, not when he was obviously already in trouble.
“Go on.”
“I don’t think I should,” he said, using every ounce of energy to control the wobble in his voice.
“Well, I told you to.”
“That’s not fair,” he mumbled to the floor. “I did it right, and I’m still somehow wrong. It’s- I’m trying.”
“It’s good you tried,” Aaron offered, taking pity on him. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you joke before.”
“I’m not very funny.”
“I don’t know, I think it would’ve worked in another department. They’re gossips here.” Spencer nodded. “Do you need to go home?”
“I can work,” he said quickly.
“Alright. We can work on your jokes on the jet.”
“That feels like a punishment.”
“More like entertainment for the rest of us.”