Chapter Text
The wind charge had hit Mapicc off but had spared JamatoP, maybe because he was in a cobweb and Mapicc wasn't.
He regretted pushing Mapicc off.
Was it even worth it?, was it? Was Mapicc not his friend for all this time? Did he even deserve it?
He looked at Null beside him. Staring at those black horns of his, Mapicc had horns as well, Mapicc, Oh Mapicc..
He would miss the feeling of being annoyed at Mappic's invisible horns stabbing him, back when they were destroying duplicated items.
he was always annoyed by it but at least that meant Mapicc was still there.
It felt unnervingly cold despite the fact they were in nether. Mapicc was born in the nether as well, why did he have to be reminded of Mapicc everywhere he looked?, it wasn't fair.
Why did the demon leave him
with so many memories of him?
"Spoke." :[_____] >
Spoke, realizing he'd been staring for far too long at Commander's horns, forced his eyes to look at Commander's face, or. Where he'd imagine commander's face would be at the very least.
< [Spoke]: "What?"
He said innocently, knowing damn well both of them knew what he was thinking about.
"Focus." :[_____] >
Spoke rolled his eyes internally but nodded externally anyway as his eyes slowly drifted from Commanders face to the horns yet again. Before reminding himself that weakness was a luxury that he couldn't afford, that focus was the only currency.
Despite knowing that, his hands still shook, and his eyes dimmed just a bit. He shouldn't have hoped.
He knew what hope brought, it brought nothing but suffering.
He had hoped for Mapicc to believe him.
He had hoped for Mapicc to end up alive.
He had hoped that he and Mapicc would still end up as friends after this.
And hoped.
And hoped.
And hoped.
For what exactly?
What was the purpose?, disappointment? All he ever felt when hoping was disappointment after! At every turn he hoped someone would believe him and not just because of the circumstances they were in!
At every turn he learned that no one will.
— His bed felt soft. A comfort he would've killed for in the past.
The beds he had always slept in before were always so easy to break but it was warm.
The bed he slept in now was definitely much softer, durable, but, it felt cold. It felt like there was a space missing in it.
Mapicc.
He wanted Mapicc back.
He wanted to go back to his siblings, to tell them everything that had happened.
Why?
If he had just told Mapicc about JamatoP, would this have happened?
If he just didn't lie to Mapicc and tell him the truth?, would this have happened? —
— George junior was there at least.
He was pretty nice I guess, but Spoke had stopped caring about George junior.
He had a whole shulker box of him anyway, why would he?
He didn't have a whole shulker box of friends.
He had an army.
He felt as if he had been hollowed out.
And he was hollow.
He was a Voidlings for fucks sake.
But this type of hollow felt different, it felt like it was consuming him whole.
He wasn't a black hole, he was just similar to it. He wished to fall into a deep sleep, one where he could pretend Mapicc and him were looking at each other sheepishly after accidentally blowing up jepexx's farm because the vault was there. —
He still remembered Mapicc that.
Why wouldn't he?
he hated Mapicc for leaving him with so many memories.