Archive of Our Own

To postpone this task any longer was futile. Odette knew, had even spent most of her day in the traveling back and forth between Snezhnograd and Sretomorozsk, in the hopes of catching a glimpse of either of them. But no luck in that as both too busy today, leaving her to either return back to her overbearing and rigid household, which felt like even a weight she couldn’t carry on uncomfortable days like these. And whether she returned with or without results, that weight would only increase if she returned without. She preferred to return with.

She slowly stood up from a bench near the train station, giving her bare legs a few seconds time to get the blood flowing. That was one of the few disadvantages of not feeling pain or cold, and Odette hoped she hadn't gotten frostbite today. And if she had, then she would get a scolding or two.

As she stood there, Odette checked if her dublyonka, gloves, fur hat and scarf were still tight around her. They would not be if she felt no warmth on the places they would go over from one to the other, and to her relief there was no place around her body that wasn't steaming.
With that done and no sight of the adorable researcher, Odette grabbed the suitcase she had brought with her and set pace to Korolevskiy Theater.

On her way to the theater she made a detour past the Armory Palace in the hopes of catching a glimpse of Mitya, but he was still busy working on how to counter the Shade of Death. And with Alyosha out for a hunting trip today, she had no other choice but to ask for help of the final person she trusted with this. No excuses now.

It had snowed the past night, still a thick layer of snow on the road that crunched under her feet while she left footsteps. Looking back at them she saw they weren’t straight steps, and Odette quickly adjusted, going from a turned-out gait to parallel.
Years of ballet training resulted in this way of walking being ingrained in her brain, and now she walked like that even when it wasn't necessary. Come with her high pain tolerance, and Odette would only realize this when her muscles had become fatigued after a long day of walking around, resulting in her having to take a break. Something she absolutely did not wanted to happen today, especially not with this task she disliked so much even if she was not the one performing it.

Around a corner she paused to look down and make sure she was still walking parallel, and to her relief she did. Odette continued walking again, but now paused at each corner, from the bottom as well as the top of stairs and after greeting a fan or two. For today it helped her reach the theater without walking turned-out for more than a few meters, and that was more than enough to make her happy.

(Nothing you do is enough)

She ignored the voice in her head like she had done a hundred times before, and made her way inside the theater. It was far from empty, other theater members busy cleaning the place up or practicing for a future show. And it was warm inside, especially with the thick insulated clothing on her, making her nearly dizzy at the sudden shift in temperature despite her head and lower legs being the only parts of her body that had been exposed to the cold outside.

Only thanks to sheer willpower of wanting to finish the task she did not collapse against the wall right then and there, but merely shook things off like it was nothing more than a nuisance. Which it was, truly, just her body protesting against her empty stomach and the new diet she had. It wasn't on purpose she hadn't eaten today, having slipped her mind. But once wasn't bad.

(If only it was this once. How can you expect to take care of your subordinates as a Harbinger if you can't take care of yourself?)

Odette ignored it once again by looking at the stage with her trained eyes, but Vodyanitsa wasn't there. This meant she as either in her private quarters or in her cave, but Odette was sure of it she wasn't there, not before a big show like the one coming tomorrow.

With dizziness still gnawing at her, she walked towards the stage and greeted the other theater members with a nod as she went backstage. They nodded back, but none spoke up to greet her verbally or ask for advice, only staring after her with frowns and whispers. She assumed it was because of the Fatui emblem on the suitcase, because what else could it be?

Any more thoughts about it were washed away when Odette heard singing. Still muffled and far away, but it was loud enough to get her to speed up. Soothing as well, the last of the dizzy spell vanishing into bubbles, together with her worries.
Vodyanitsa, her lovely Water Imp, had that effect on her. Of her three partners, Odette felt the safest in her presence, but also the most on guard. Which seemed like a paradox to most, but they did not know Vodyanitsa as well as she did. Unlike her, the Prima Donna of the troupe had her emotions on her sleeve, even if some were just a facade for what she truly felt. And to know that you had to listen to her songs.

Having reached the door to Vodyanitsa's private quarters, Odette paused to listen to the clear melody that came from the other side. Both to figure out what she was feeling at the moment and to prepare herself for the conversation to come. One that felt like it was done in a minefield.

(Only because you keep hiding the truth from them. No wonder they have a hard time trusting you at your worst)

Longing was the prime emotion, but there was also light annoyance and doting. The usual then.

'Knock knock.'

The singing immediately stopped and a few seconds later the door opened.

'Odie!' Vodyanitsa exclaimed with a smile so bright Odette could only stare at it, even staring into her flowing hair when the Water Imp hugged her.

'What a surprise! I thought you were having your free day today,' she continued on chatting away on her shoulder, 'did you come just to see me? Come inside, I have tea if you want to. It's freezing outside, isn't it?'

'It is,' Odette responded, the hug warming her more than she already was. It still felt nice, and it helped that the Water Nimf smelled pleasant as well.

'Let's go inside then.'

Vodyanitsa eased back out of the hug, only for her smile to turn into a frown. 'Odie, you're pale! When was the last time you ate a big meal?'

There was no disappointment in her tone, so why did she suddenly feel ashamed?

Because deep down she disapproves of her own actions, of starving herself after indulging into a big meal just to satiate the voices that tell her she is too fat, too thin, not enough. At moments like these, surrounded by those that love her, the voices are at their loudest, forcing her to keep her emotions even more in check.

'When we had dinner together,' she replied, 'the past few days I ate salads for breakfast.'

Vodyanitsa's eyes widened. 'That was three days ago!' She grabbed Odette by the arm. 'Surely you must've eaten something more than that?'

Despite the layers she could still feel the tight hold weigh down on her like ice. Ashamed, she shook her head weakly and tried to step away, yet her legs refused to budge.

(Look at you, so desperate for love yet refusing to accept it when it is handed to you on a silver platter)

The Prima Donna look soured for a moment before she shook her head and the kind smile returned. 'No harm done, Odie. Come, then I still have a few fresh oblepiha that I can blend, together with some broth.'

She latched her arm around Odette's and walked back inside with her, and now her legs worked again. Or was it her own will that kept her from running away?
Even if she wasn't feeling hungry, it would at least make Vodyanitsa less worried and form a nice basis for the task at hand. Which she seemed curious about, Odette could tell by the glances and raised eyebrows, even if the Water Nimf tried to focus on making food for her.

Odette sat down on the couch and laid the suitcase on the coffee table near it. Once comfortably seated she began removing her extra layers, safe for the dublyonka, freeing up her bare feet when she removed the boots.
Now Vodyanitsa was getting antsy, singing to herself as she worked quick on the broth and blending oblepiha's.

It was not that Odette didn't want to tell her; if Vodyanitsa asked she would tell her everything in a heartbeat. But for now she preferred the soothing singing that calmed her mind, as well as the fishy smell in the room. Up close it was potent, but she never hated it. Loved it even, as she associated it with gentle embraces, caring whispers and deep connections between the two of them.

'Here you go, moya kohana,' Vodyanitsa said as she placed the food on the table, harder than needed as the broth and blended berries nearly spilled over the edges of their cups. She then plopped near her on the couch, shifting to sit on her knees and tapping them impatiently while fully turned to Odette.

The hint was loud and clear, but she still took her time to reach for the broth, blow on it until it was drinkable and then sipped a bit from it. Not because she was hungry, at least she thought she wasn't until her stomach rumbled and she eagerly took another sip.

'Ahum.'

Ah, right, she was getting irritated. The only reason why she had even taken a sip before was because she wanted to see that impatient look on her face, which was close to that she made in bed. But there was a limit to her patience, and she preferred not to cross that.

(You've disappointed enough people as is)

Odette placed the bowl back on the table, grabbed a tissue to wipe her lips and then turned to the Prima Donna.

'You know how I have to go on Fatui missions from time to time?' She asked it louder than she meant, just to out tune the voices.

Vodyanitsa nodded like an eager child. 'Ooh, is this a secret mission you need my help for? Is that why you're still bundled up?'

'Yes and no.'

The little pout Vodyanitsa gave in response to her vague answer was adorable, the voice in her head falling silent at once. At the same time a smile tugged at the corners of her lips which she didn't try to hide, nor the amused tone as she continued speaking.

'It's standard protocol, a regular monthly health checkup for all Fatui members, even Harbingers.'

Those were more than enough words to convey the message, but to Odette this clarification was necessary to prevent Vodyanitsa from worrying too much. Which seemed to work, until her eyebrows lowered in a frown.

'Wait, why is this the first time I've heard about this?'

'Because I usually ask Mitya or Alyosha for help,' she replied.

'...ah.' Her Water Imp narrowed her eyes and forced a smile. 'Okay.'

While Odette could've said this was the first time she had asked for her help because she usually asked her mom or let another Fatui member do the work, she did not want to lie to her. To none of the ones that loved her and she cared so much about, even if it revealed jagged edges and ugly parts of her. And this regular checkup did exactly that, which is why she had only asked Mitya and Alyosha. They weren't judgmental, also having stuff they preferred to hide.
While she knew Vodyanitsa was the same in that regard, she still would accidentally spill a secret or two, like that one time she talked about the Traveler to her.

Odette took a sip of the blended oblepiha for her throat that had suddenly become dry, savoring the taste for a couple of seconds before swallowing it.

'Did you ask the Traveler for help as well? Or were they too busy?'

Jealousy didn't suit Vodyanitsa, but it was a part of her the same way being stubborn was a part of Odette. And she adored all parts of her partners, and knew how to go around it.

'No,' she said while removing the dublyonka, 'because this is something I only do with you three, Vodya. With the ones I love and trust.'

Underneath the dublyonka Odette was only wearing a white sleeveless and strapless leotard that clung to her body. Simple, easy to remove if the health checkup asked for it and no hard parts to interfere with anything.

Her words and actions made Vodyanitsa forget her jealously instantly, the Water Imp's finlike ears fluttering hard and her cheeks nearly glowing. Any other day she would've kept staring at the flustered Prima Donna, or tried to make her even more flustered, but today her focus was on this, and this alone.

'One of the tasks on the checklist is to do an exam of the chest,' Odette said as she leaned over to the table to open the suitcase. 'Another is to check for any injuries.'

Inside it was a various array of test kits, medical equipment and twelve sheets of paper. Some were filled in, some were not, and she grabbed an empty one and handed it over to Vodyanitsa.

'You know why I can't do those on my own.'

Vodyanitsa nodded as she scanned over the different tasks. 'R-right. Now I see why you said you only did it with us. One moment.' She laid the paper on the table before lightly slapping her own cheeks, which is what Vodyanista usually did before a big show to get herself focused. 'Okay, lay it on me.'

And that’s Odette did with a few simple tugs at the bodysuit, showing her bosom in a vulnerable way, even more when she raised her arms so her armpits were shown as well.

'Use massage oil and only your finger tips.'

Vodyanista grabbed a tube out of the suitcase. 'This one?'

She nodded. 'Yes.'

Vodyanitsa dripped a bit of the oil on her finger tips, spread it out and then scuttled closer to Odette. Her hands were shaking a bit, but once they made contact any shaking had stopped and the Water Nimf dutifully checked. Her fingers moved all over Odette's chest. Up and down, in wedges and in circles, leaving no spot untouched. She pressed hard, the ski denting in, but all Odette felt was a light pressure. Even when Vodyanitsa rubbed her areolas and pinched her nipples.

All by all it took only five minutes at maximum, the standard of this kind of examination.

'I felt no lumps or dimplings,' Vodyanitsa said as she wiped her fingers clean, 'nor did I see any deformations or discharge.'

'And changes in color or texture?'

She shook her head. 'Neither of those.'

With a soft sigh of relief Odette lowered her arms, only for her to raise them again. 'Can you check for potential injuries or lumps here as well?'

Vodyanitsa beamed a smile. 'Anything for you, Odie.'

Her significant one was truly glad to help her with this, so why did Odette still feel like she was a thorn in her side, a nuisance that had bothered her during practice? And worse off all, she feared that she might find something that would prevent her from performing for a while. Vodyanitsa was Fae after all, having a whole different biology and upbringing than her. If someone could pick a detail out, it would be her guaranteed.
A fear only strengthened by how Vodyanitsa thoroughly examined every part of her body, even more so than during their private times together. Where Alyosha or Mitya looked quickly but with trained eye, she was the opposite. Not a spot went by unnoticed, and she meant it literally.

Odette slumped in posture a bit while Vodyanitsa went through her hair, her long finger nails scratching the skin of her head in such a delightful way it almost felt like a massage. Even if it was not even late noon, she felt like she could fall asleep right then and there, her thoughts becoming a warbled mess.

'Odie? Hey, Odette!' Vodyanitsa's yelling came accompanied with shaking and Odette shot back alert instantly.

'Hmm? Sorry, did you ask something?'

She chuckled. 'I was asking if you could lower or even remove your leotard so I could inspect your back. Did you like my hands going through your hair that much?'

'Yes,' Odette replied bashfully as she stripped out of the last of her clothes, earning another divine chuckle out of the Water Imp.

She had never felt so relaxed in years, and that included the times they were much more intimate. Next time when they were alone together she would ask her to do it again, but then without looking for anything

(Do you even deserve such things?)

The words stung, and Vodyanitsa's fingers on her back didn't remove the feeling. It all tensed her up again, muscles bulging and scars being put to the forefront more. If there was a time she would say something about it, then it would be now.

'Nothing on your back,' she said. 'Shall we do your legs now?'

Odette nodded. 'Fine with me.'

Not bothering to put on her leotard for the time being, Odette saw Vodyanitsa stare at her for a moment before quickly looking down at her legs, going so deep in to look her nose almost touched. Was it because of pity or anything of the sort? No, it was her mind playing tricks on her again.

(Hmpf, a filthy rat like you doesn't even deserve pity)

The closer she got to her feet the harder it got to ignore her thoughts. They were the only part of her body that Odette felt self-conscious about, for multiple reasons at that.
For a Prima Ballerina, how you took care of your feet could make or break your career. She did it quite well, spending time barefoot whenever possible and spreading her toes to keep flexibility.

But ever since she no longer felt any pain, the health of her feet had gone down as well. Not enough to cause any permanent or long-term issues, but blisters, bruised toenails, calluses and here and there signs of beginning ingrown toenails. All things she had to check on daily, sometimes three times a day when she practiced just to redo bandages. Something she had not told Vodyanitsa and had requested Mitya and Alyosha to keep quiet about. But now this too would be revealed.

She almost had the urge to pull her feet away when her hands touched them and walk outside like nothing happened, but that would only make Vodyanitsa grow worried about her and result in a bigger scolding. So all she could do was stare at Vodyanitsa's focused face, waiting for an unpleasant hum, tsk or click with her tongue, but it stayed quiet. Way too quiet for her taste.

And then her feet were free from inspection, while Vodyanitsa looking at her with admiration and love.

'Nothing to worried about here as well, you've kept your feet in good condition. Better than most even.' She turned to grab the list and read the next task.

For a moment Odette was too stunned to react, before relief washed over her. How could she be so stupid? This was Vodya she was thinking about, of course she would be nothing but doting and caring, no bad fin in her except when it came to Mitya and his lack of attention to her.

(Don't celebrate too soon, black swan. This is just one hurdle you had to go through)

That may be true, but that wouldn't stop her from believing in her perception of Vodyanitsa. If she had learned anything from the past few years, it was that nobody was like Rosalyne or her mother. Both one of a kind.

'I am curious though,' Vodyanitsa's voice cut through her thoughts, 'does every Fatuus have to do this?'

Odette nodded, not showing it but relieved to talk about something light. 'Yes, even the Harbingers. Capitano even did it to set an example, but he always did it in privacy.'

'He always was one of the more kind Harbingers.' She reached in for the stethoscope, her curiosity satiated.

The next couple of tests were run of the mill for Odette, things she could do on her own or would be noticeable when she was out in the field, but she still let Vodyanitsa do them. It did skew the results a bit, her heart beating a bit faster than normal, resulting in a higher blood pressure as well. Even with Odette being used to her close company, her body still reacted like it was the first time she realized her feelings for the Prima Donna.
Things only build up more when Vodyanitsa stayed close for the hearing and eyesight test, to the point she almost wanted to turn the tables and check her. Check her fair skin, her scales, fins and body for any wounds, for any imperfections that would make the Water Imp even more beautiful in her eyes.

(You're just distracting yourself from what's to come)

'Physical assessment?' Vodyanitsa pondered a bit, making Odette look up at her. 'How long you can hold your breath?' A bright look came to her face, a knowing grin. She shuffled closer on the couch, her body language still unclear for Odette.

With the only warning being Vodyanitsa's hand cupping her cheek, she leaned in and kissed Odette on the lips. Not a short kiss, but a deep one full of love. Their lips brushed again and again, Vodyanitsa taking control and she letting everything wash over her.

The kissing itself did not make her breathless. No, it was the act itself that caused Odette to stop breathing as her entire body focused on Vodyanitsa's lips and gentle touch. How her breath tickled against her lips and how Vodyanitsa never pushed past kissing, leaving Odette to fill in what would be next. That was a great question, her brain almost restarting to answer it, like the kiss had retired her thoughts entirely. Different options came to mind, all likable but oh so escalating, until one was left.

Overwhelmed from the physical affection, Odette slowly leaned her head in to brush her forehead against Vodyanitsa's. The Prima Donna gasped softly, looked up and ended their make out session antagonizingly slow. But the moment she was done and went back to her side on the couch, Odette nearly jumped off it and began doing push ups, squads, sit ups, everything to blow off steam. She did it until her muscles gave in on her and she collapsed on the floor.

All the while Vodyanitsa looked at her with a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, and once Odette was done she wrote something down on the result paper, and then kept looking at her like she was precious.

When her strength returned she stood back up, dusted herself off like nothing happened and perched back on the edge of the couch.

'Shut up,' Odette finally murmured, no bite in her tone.

She raised her hands in defense. 'I didn't say anything.'

'Yes you did. It was clear by the way you looked.'

'Fine.' Vodyanitsa pouted, but since she wasn't angry or annoyed that pout lasted only a moment before a goofy smile took its place. 'I like my honest and adorable girlfriend, is that what you want to hear.'

Silence followed, one she held to make the Prima Donna wait in anticipation for an answer she already knew.

'...yes.'

Vodyanitsa accepted the answer and went on, not teasing her with it. There were times and places she did, but she was just as good as reading the room as seeing Odette's emotions.

'The final test on the list, BMI.' Vodyanitsa paused as she studied the way to test this. No frown showed up on her face, no look of surprise, just a simple nod and a reach into the suitcase to pull out measuring tape and the heaviest and biggest thing in it, a scale.

Having done this many times before, Odette raised her arms right away while stepping back on the floor.

The silence that followed as Vodyanitsa went to measure her length, watch her weight and then calculate it was palpable. This was the part she most hated. It was short, but that didn't mean it could be ugly.

(Only because you can't control yourself)

But she had, tried it everytime her lovers said something about her body. Only to falter a couple weeks later because of her own illusions, of the pressure and the weight of responsibilities on her.

She was still standing while Vodyanitsa was still calculating, the smell of broth now becoming a bit nausea inducing. Numbers came and went through her mind, and subconsciously she reached for her stomach to grab the thin layer of skin there.

'18.8,' she stated casually, and relief washed through Odette. Only for a moment however, as Vodyanitsa seemed to be scratching her head in confusion as she held the paper. 'Is that good or bad? Are there any instructions in here?’

'Wait!' Odette whispered as she stepped towards her, but it was too late. Vodyanitsa had found it, all the way on the bottom, as well as the other test results that she had no reason to take with her.

A frown formed on her face, yet she stayed silent, which made Odette fear the worst. She stood there next to her, unsure of what to do.

'Why does it look like that some test results have been doodled on?' She turned to Odette and nearly shoved one in her face. 'This is Mitya's handwriting, isn't it?'

It was a weird thing to focus on, but she grasped the uphold of execution. 'Yes, it is. Sometimes he gets... inspired.' She hadn't meant to sound so endearing, but it had slipped out before she could stop it.

Vodyanitsa sighed, jealously sparked again. 'Hmpfh, he gets distracted with something so important? How rude!'

Odette did not find it rude at all, not in the slightest. It was cute that her presence alone was enough to bring him to new ideas, or find solutions for old ones. Sometimes, at least.

'You say that, but I see that for the past months it has been only Alyosha.'

Any reason to feel great about herself, never change Vodya. 'Mmh, but today he was on a hunting trip. I even waited almost all day for him, and then for Mitya, but both were unavailable.'

'Wait, you waited all day in the cold?'

She shook her head. 'No, at Alyosha's place.'

'You have the keys to his home as well?' Vodyanitsa beamed from excitement. 'Then we can wait for him together next time.'

Despite herself, she was curious. 'How long do you have his key, Vodya?'

'Since we realized we were both with the R-word.' She winked. 'You?'

'After we both found out about the Curse of Death thing.' Vodyanitsa visibly paled a bit at the memory of those nights. 'Turns out, he also "died" a few times when we were around Mitya, and I as well. Neither of us didn't think much of it at first, he blamed it on the sudden temperature change and I on my low blood sugar and-.'

Too much, that was too much information about the past she preferred not to resurface. Her brain scrambled to make an excuse, to try and shift the conversation again, but nothing came to mind. Because she knew that an excuse would mean scolding.
The broth and dublyonka! Maybe finishing that would make Rosalyne proud of her. Odette reached out to the table, ready to drink up the rest even when she wasn't interested.

A hand touched hers as she got a hold of the mug, not to stop her but to make her aware of their presence. Still, she did not take it with her or shook the hand of, but hesitated to look up.

'Odie, talk to me. Is there something wrong?’

There was no judgement in her voice, just plain old worry. Not that of Rosalyne's, but of Vodyanitsa. It was a relapse, a small one, but to mistake the two was unbecoming, and with a shiver she stepped back to sit down on the couch.

Vodyanitsa sat down next to her, ever patient as always when it came to this. How she managed to get a - multiple - partners when she was as stubborn as she was, Odette still did not know. She opened her mouth, closed it as the answer wasn't one that sounded right, and opened it again.

'Nothing wrong,' she said with a hushed tone, 'not any longer.'

'I'm relieved for that.'

Neither of them moved or said anything, sitting silently next to each other. A comfortable silent that made Odette feel at ease.

She shifted a bit, looked at Vodyanitsa to cast away the last remnants of Rosalyne her mind had conjured. 'I blacked out a couple of times, but that was a long time ago.'

Vodyanitsa nodded, asking no questions which made Odette feel safe and prompted her to talk more.

'The last time was just before we started dating, when you found me unresponsive on my couch. These days I only have dizzy spells if temperatures shift too sudden.'

It felt great to finally say it, like a weight had fallen off her chest. The voices had gone silent too, as if her understanding and calming presence had warded them away.

She reached out with her other hand to touch Vodyanitsa's. 'I'm sorry for worrying you.'

Her partner perked up. 'I wasn't worried! I just wanted you to feel comfortable. This must've been though for you to handle.' Vodyanitsa smiled brightly once more as she shifted completely to Odette. 'You're the most wonderful partner I could ask for, always hard working and patient and honest.' She paused to catch her breath.
'Stop me if I'm rambling on too much, but I loved doing this with you and I wish to do this a lot more. If it means I can treat you more then - hmm!'

Odette silenced her with a kiss, not because she wanted Vodyanitsa to stop rambling, the opposite in fact. Whenever she talked her lips looked so kissable, and this time she no longer could hold back her urges.
Leaning back, Vodyanitsa blinked a few times as if she couldn't believe what just happened. Then she began to pout and give her a playful stomp on the shoulder.

'Odie! Warn me next time, I wanted to kiss you as well!'

'That was a warning of short response time,' she replied with amused tone, 'and I love to hear you talk. Please continue?'

Vodyanitsa crossed her arms. 'Fine, but don't interrupt me again.'

She did not say anything at that, nor show any body language that might seem she would, but the Water Imp seemed to take her silence as an agreement.

'Fine, as I was saying, I want to treat you to more head and back scratches. You seemed to melt in them and - hmm! Mmhdie!'

Her muffled protests while she didn't even attempt to lean back were adorable to hear, and Odette only intensified the kiss. With her worries gone all reservations she had had been cast away, and her hands began roaming through the Prima Donna’s hair, the motion repeated by Vodyanitsa.
It did not take long before the both of them became lost in each others presence, their fingers digging through each others scalps and giving a relieving massage that melted them as well.

Until finally they stopped to rest on the couch. There they relished in the warmth of each others bodies, of the stark difference between smooth and scarred body, of Odette’s sleek and muscular arms and Vodyanitsa’s smooth and soft ones. During moments like these Odette felt like she was worth it. Worth their love. She did not need to ask, because she already knew the answer. She might fall back to her past habits from time to time, but her lovers would be there to catch her again.

'You are enough.'