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March 26th, 1996, was the worst night of Jackie’s life.
There was a party, a fight, and a bathroom. Shauna was acting weird from the start—before they even got to the party, before they even got in Jeff’s car.
That night, Shauna only had one drink, and it wasn’t even her preferred disgusting cocktail, Malibu and milk. She had a rum and Coke—more rum than Coke—and Jackie should’ve seen something coming in hindsight. She was, admittedly, too busy listening to Jeff and Randy talk about porno mags, or baseball, or whatever.
But even wrapped in Jeff’s arms, she watched Shauna from across the lawn.
They hadn’t even been at the party for thirty minutes before Jackie’s life collapsed. Randy commented on how hot Shauna looked, Jeff went bright red, and Jackie told Randy that Shauna would never fuck a man as ugly as him. Jeff followed up by saying Jackie was being rude because she was ‘on the rag’ this week, and Jackie pushed Jeff so hard he stumbled back into the pool.
At the same time, Shauna stood across the lawn, inches from Tai’s face, screaming and waving her arms. Mari reached for Shauna’s shoulder, and Shauna whirled around and punched Mari in the face.
Shouting filled the air as Jackie ran around the edge of the pool and pulled Shauna away from Tai. At the sight of her, Shauna’s face fell. She didn’t fight when Jackie tugged her inside.
As the bathroom door closed, Shauna collapsed onto the toilet lid and started sobbing. “I did something bad, Jackie,” Shauna kept repeating into her hands. All Jackie could make out through Shauna’s drunken hiccups was guilty, mistake, and Jeff.
Jeff? That didn’t sound right. Jackie almost thought she imagined it. Then Shauna finally stopped hiccuping, took her hands away from her face, looked Jackie straight in the eye, and said:
“I fucked Jeff.”
Jackie froze, her hand still on top of Shauna’s knee. Everything went fuzzy—her hearing, her vision, her taste buds. She thought she tasted battery acid. Suddenly, her entire body lit up, her heart pounding in her throat. She turned around, threw up in the bathtub behind her, and left the party without a word. She barely remembered the rest of the night—only an image of Shauna on top of Jeff, Shauna moaning his name—swarming her mind.
But that nightmare was a month ago. And now, she was in Health class.
“We’ve only got a few minutes left before the bell,” Ben said, bending down. “And I’ve got a new project for you all.” He popped back up with a medium-sized box and placed it on his desk.
Everyone’s head perked up curiously. Someone in the opposite corner shouted, “What’s that?”
Ben grabbed a pair of scissors off his desk and sliced open the top of the box. “Well, I’m glad you asked.” He pulled the cardboard flaps open, reached into the box, and lifted out a sack of flour. “This year, each of you is going to pair up and take care of a child for the week.”
Giggling sounded throughout the room. People leaned over and started whispering. Flour particles floated in the air.
“Uh, Coach,” Randy said, hand raised timidly, “you know that’s a buncha flour, right?”
“Yes, Randy, but the school board unfortunately did not approve funding for lifelike babies. So, flour babies it is,” Ben said, motioning to the sack. “Now,” he continued, reaching over for a clipboard, “don’t get too excited about pairing up. The flour will be assigned.”
At that, everyone moaned and groaned. Ben began calling out people in pairs and having them grab a sack of flour on their way out. Jackie’s eyes immediately went to the back of Jeff’s head. Bile rose in her stomach at the thought of parenting with her cheating ex-boyfriend.
Suddenly, Jeff jerked upright and headed to the front of the class, a junior girl beside him. Jackie felt the tightness in her chest ease. She didn't realize she was holding her breath until she exhaled.
A few minutes later, her name was called. She grabbed her backpack and swung it over one shoulder, keeping her head down as she walked through the aisle to the front of the room.
“Unfortunately,” Ben said as Jackie reached his desk. “Our boy-to-girl ratio in this class is a little off.”
Wait, what did that mean?
“So, you girls,” Ben continued, “will have to take care of a flour sack together.”
“W-what?” Jackie asked, finally reorienting herself. Girl? Getting paired with a girl never occurred to her as an option. That was worlds better than Jeff. A pair of feet stopped beside her, followed by a familiar hint of sandalwood and rose.
No.
No, no, no, no, no—
“You and Shauna are co-parents.”
“Jackie! Fucking stop!” Shauna yelled behind her as she chased Jackie through the hall and out to the soccer field. Jackie refused to turn around, gripping the sack of flour tight against her chest.
Her heart pounded in her ears, Ben’s voice replaying on loop.
You and Shauna are co-parents. You and Shauna are co-parents. You and Shauna are co-parents.
Jackie stopped abruptly, heels digging into the turf. Wetness formed in her mouth, followed by nausea.
“Jackie, please,” Shauna repeated, breathing heavily. “We have to talk about this.”
Jackie forcibly swallowed and turned around.
“There’s nothing to talk about, Shipman.” She spat out the nickname, hating how it sounded in her mouth. “I’m taking the baby. I’m doing the assignment. And I’m not speaking to you.”
“Jackie, I’m not letting you do our whole project alone. That’s fucking ridiculous.”
“Do not tell me what’s fucking ridiculous, Shauna.”
“Okay, whatever,” Shauna replied. “But I’m not letting you fail this assignment with my name attached.”
“Oh.” Jackie scoffed. “So, now I’m too stupid to take care of a fucking sack of flour?”
Shauna shot her arms into the air. “I didn’t say you were stupid, Jackie. My god.”
“You implied it.” Jackie spun around and marched to the locker room.
Shauna sprinted past Jackie and planted herself in front of the locker room door. “We have to do this together, even if we don’t want to. We’ll restrict communication. Project-based only. The assignment is a week long—that’s barely anything.” She paused, waiting for a response or a you’re right, probably. “Then we can go back to never speaking again.”
A numbness tingled through Jackie. “We only talk about the assignment,” Jackie reiterated, loosening her grip on the sack.
“Yes.”
“And you let me pick the name.”
“W-what?”
“I’m picking the name.”
“Shouldn’t we discuss that together?”
“Nope,” Jackie said with a pop.
“Are you guys done bitching at each other so we can get in?” Nat’s voice startled them both. Jackie turned around and found herself face-to-face with Nat, Van, and Lottie waiting behind her.
“Y-yeah. Sorry,” Jackie said, moving to the side with Shauna quietly following suit.
“Thanks, Cap,” Van said, winking as the group passed by them into the locker room.
Out of the corner of her eye, hands reached out next to her. “You want me to hold it?”
Jackie shifted away from Shauna, smacking her fingertips. “Her! And no. I’m taking her home tonight.”
Shauna shoved her hands into her pants pockets. “Whatever,” she grumbled, kicking the door open and sliding inside.
Jackie took a shaky breath in and squeezed her eyes shut. When she opened them, she looked down at the top of the flour sack. White powder dusted across the beige paper. She gently blew it away, then placed it in her backpack for safekeeping.
“Olivia? No. Hm…” Jackie sat criss-cross on her bed, flour sack perched in front of her. A wrinkle ran across the logo, and a small black smudge sat in the top corner.
“Emily, maybe. Do you feel like an Emily?”
Silence. Of course.
“Ugh.” Jackie flopped backward onto her mattress and stared at the ceiling.
She still couldn’t believe that, of all the people in her class, she got paired with Shauna fucking Shipman. Her stomach twisted. Somewhere deep down, she wished she could erase the previous month from her memory so she could enjoy working on a project with her best friend.
Ex. Fuck. Jackie kept doing that lately—forgetting. Her brain clearly hadn’t processed what happened on March 26th at 10:05 pm.
“Jacqueline, what’s that on your bed?”
Jackie turned her head. Her mother lingered in the doorway. Jackie shook her head and sat up. “Oh, um, a flour sack.”
“Well, yes, I can see that, honey,” her mother said. “But why is the flour sack on your bed?”
“School project. She’s my child,” Jackie said. She patted the flour sack. Some flour spat out and sprinkled across the pink knitted blanket lying underneath. Jackie swiped at it quickly.
“Oh. That’s… interesting,” her mother replied. She walked cautiously into Jackie’s room and placed her hands on her hips. “Is this some kind of teen pregnancy prevention project?”
Jackie looked at her quizzically. “I think it’s about responsibility?”
“Ah.” Her mother nodded. “Always a good skill to have.”
Conversations with her mother were always awkward. Even at the worst times in Jackie’s life, her mom had this weird way of comforting her. Her compliments were a little backhanded; her hugs were a little stiff.
So when her mother asked, “Who’s the father?” Jackie couldn’t help but feel nauseous all over again.
“Uh, it’s, um,” Jackie mumbled.
“You know I can never understand your mumbling, Jacqueline.”
“I got paired with Shauna.”
“Oh,” her mother replied, mouth flat and curled in. “Her.”
Jackie never meant to tell her mother about the cheating incident directly. The words spewed out the night she arrived home from the party. When she’d shakily opened the front door, her mom must have heard. She appeared at the top of the staircase as soon as Jackie shut the front door.
And Jackie was a mess—mascara smudged under her eyes, lipstick wiped onto her sleeve. As soon as her mom asked what happened, Jackie stormed up the stairs and shouted, “Shauna’s a whore who fucked Jeff,” and slammed the door shut.
“Yeah, there weren't enough guys, and I guess our names are just close together,” Jackie said.
“I don’t want that girl to sabotage your grade,” her mother said, crossing her arms.
Jackie felt a pang in her chest. She still disliked when people talked badly about Shauna, even if she hated her right now.
“We’re gonna make it work,” Jackie said. “For our grade.”
Her mother nodded. “Good.”
The following morning, Jackie was unexpectedly greeted at her locker. Shauna stood with her arms crossed tightly, looking away.
“What are you doing here, Shipman?” Jackie asked as she walked up from behind her.
“Jesus.” Shauna flinched.
Jackie glared at her, then turned the lock dial.
“I was, uh, waiting for the sack,” Shauna answered.
Jackie placed the sack on her hip and turned the lock back and forth, struggling to hit the right numbers. “Why do you need her?” Finally, the lock snapped open. Jackie huffed and pulled the door open, placing the flour sack inside.
Shauna leaned against the locker beside Jackie’s and waved a paper in front of Jackie’s face. “Did you not read the rules?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, they’re labeled as suggestions,” Shauna continued. “But we both know that means rules.”
Jackie groaned and snatched the paper from Shauna’s hand. Slowly, her eyes scanned the page as she mouthed the words.
“First one, Jackie,” Shauna said, leaning over the page and poking it.
“I’m reading it,” Jackie said, swatting Shauna’s hand away.
“You read too slow,” Shauna mumbled.
Jackie ignored her and focused on the page.
Alternate custody of the flour sack so each party takes equal responsibility.
There was absolutely no way Jackie was handing over the flour sack to Shauna. For one, she didn’t trust Shauna (rightfully so), and Shauna would never care for their baby as Jackie could. How could Jackie be sure Shauna wouldn’t just leave their baby in a hot car?!
If Jackie needed the assignment done right, she had to do it herself.
“Jackie, will you just give her to me?”
Jackie looked up at Shauna. “I don’t think she’s safe with you.”
“Sa—” Shauna stopped herself and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Why would I purposefully ruin my grade by doing something to her, Jackie?”
“Because you’re evil,” Jackie spat as she pulled the sack from her locker. She shoved the door closed with her elbow and stomped to class.
“Jackie, seriously, just let me have her,” Shauna said, matching her footsteps from behind her. “Today and tomorrow only. Then you get her Thursday through the weekend.” She appeared next to her. “If I fuck up, I’ll give her to you the whole week.”
Abruptly, Jackie stopped in the middle of the hallway. A sea of students shuffled around them as the warning bell rang out through the hall.
Shauna gave her that look. The stupid begging look with her big stupid eyes and her stupid parted lips.
Ugh.
“Fine, fine!” Jackie loosened her grip on the sack. “But one wrong move, Shipman…”
“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” Shauna grumbled, rolling her eyes. She opened her arms, waiting for Jackie to drop the sack. Jackie finally gave in.
“Thanks, partner,” Shauna said with a sarcastic smirk.
Jackie’s face grew hot, and a feeling somewhere between embarrassment and anger twisted in her gut. “Bring her back—unscathed!” She yelled as Shauna trotted away with her child.
If someone asked Jackie what she learned in school that Tuesday, she would draw a blank. She spent the entire day watching Shauna.
In between classes… During gym…
In the bathroom.
Okay, no, not the last one. At least not on purpose.
That afternoon, Jackie walked into the girls’ bathroom with her head down, her mind still on Shauna and her still-unnamed baby.
“I’ve felt your eyes on me all day, you know,” Shauna said.
Jackie jolted and looked up. Shauna stood at the sink, washing her hands, the flour sack sitting on a metal shelf above.
“Are you going to watch me all damn week?” Shauna continued, head down the entire time.
“I’m not watching you!” Jackie scoffed and walked to an adjacent sink, turning on the faucet.
“Yes, you are,” Shauna said, finally looking at her through the mirror.
Jackie flicked her eyes away, pumped out some soap, and started scrubbing her hands.
“I know you’ve always had control issues,” Shauna continued, moving to grab paper towels. “But can’t you give it a break for a day?”
Jackie's heart rate spiked. Control issues? She didn’t have fucking control issues. Shauna just had no idea what control was.
Jackie shoved her hands under the running water, ignoring Shauna’s dig. The water was too hot, burning her hands. She hissed and pulled them back before twisting the cold side on.
“Sorry I care about the baby,” Jackie spat back, shoving her hands back in. “I know caring is foreign to you.
“She’s a freaking sack of flour, Jackie,” Shauna said, clearly frustrated.
Jackie could see the tendons in Shauna’s hands tighten before she threw the used paper towels in the trash. Something about it sent warmth through her body.
“Whatever,” Shauna muttered, grabbing the sack off the shelf.
Jackie couldn’t let her leave. She just couldn't. Her body moved without thinking, blocking Shauna’s exit. She crossed her arms, ignoring the water dripping from her hands onto her shirt.
“What’d you name her?”
“W-what?” Shauna stuttered, holding the flour sack tight against her chest.
“I know you already have a name, Shipman,” Jackie said. “You name everything. You probably had a name as soon as Coach pulled out the sacks from the box.”
Shauna scoffed. “No, I don’t.”
It had only been a month since their friendship fell apart. Did Shauna really think Jackie would forget all her habits?
“Yes, you do.” Jackie continued, stepping around Shauna to grab paper towels. “Your car has a name; your stuffed animal has a name. Your journal probably has a name too. So, just tell me. I want to know what our fake daughter’s stupid literary name is. Harriet or Scarlett or Josephine.” Jackie threw the paper towels in the trash. “Something like that, I’m sure.”
Shauna searched her face, her hands tensing around the flour sack. “Elizabeth,” she finally replied.
Elizabeth. Jackie was surprised she kind of liked the name. She let it roll over in her head a few times. Elizabeth, Elizabeth.
Something about the name felt right and she would die before letting Shauna know.
So, instead she barked out a laugh. “Of course. You were obsessed with that Pride and Prejudice book in middle school.”
“Uh, yeah,” Shauna mumbled, "For that."
Jackie made a considering sound in her throat. “Fine. Bring Elizabeth back in one piece tomorrow.” She patted the flour sack on top. Flour particles flew into the air like a dust cloud.
Jackie could hear Shauna groan as she exited through the bathroom door.
Jackie hated to admit it, but a day without her flour baby was actually really nice. Her arms stopped hurting, and no random white dust covered her top. Shauna didn’t need to know that, though. Jackie knew she could still take better care of Elizabeth, and she didn’t want Shauna to view her as weak or incompetent.
When she got to her Lit and Composition class that Wednesday, she was internally overjoyed. Even though it was another class she shared with Shauna, she finally had enough room on her desk to spread out her book and notes. And being able to watch Elizabeth out of the corner of her eye was a plus.
For the past few weeks, they had been reading a Shakespeare play. They spent the end of every class analyzing a scene individually—reading and answering questions in silence until the bell struck.
And Jackie was doing that. She read from her beat-up copy of Julius Caesar and jotted down notes, then transferred them to the question sheet. But she couldn’t help it when her eyes wandered to the front right corner of the room, where a familiar ratty flannel sat.
Jackie forced herself back down to her book every time. She kept losing her place. It was annoying. But then it would happen again—her eyes immediately shifting back to burning a hole in the back of Shauna’s head.
On the fifth or sixth time (Jackie lost count), she saw Shauna lean over and pick up the flour sack that was rudely placed on the ground. Jackie watched, confused. Shauna spent the entire class with Elizabeth on the floor; why was she moving her in the last few minutes?
Shauna placed the flour sack in her lap. She reopened her book and curled over it, flour sack close to her chest. Jackie felt like she was watching a train wreck, unable to rip her eyes away.
Shauna lowered her chin to the top of the sack and raised the book in front of them both. She grabbed her pen, chin still placed on top of the sack, and wrote on the paper in front of her.
Jackie’s whole body was on fire now. She couldn’t quite place the emotion. Jealousy? Endearment? Rage? All she knew was that she wanted to go over there, rip the book right out of Shauna’s hands, grab Shauna by the collar of her flannel shirt and—
The bell rang.
She left half the questions blank.
The next morning, Jackie stationed herself at Shauna’s locker, tapping her foot against the linoleum and checking her watch. Five minutes late.
Shauna was never late. If anything, she was too early—it was annoying. She’d show up at Jackie’s house before the scheduled time. And of course Jackie liked spending more time with Shauna, but she also appreciated the extra moments of privacy.
When Jackie looked up from her watch, she saw Shauna in the distance, racing down the hallway. Her bag was open, books and pages practically spilling out as she clutched the flour sack.
“You’re late,” Jackie said, arms crossed.
Shauna glared at her. “Yeah, I’m aware.” She dropped her backpack and unlocked her locker messily. “I had to take the fucking bus.”
“You took Elizabeth on the bus?!” Jackie screeched.
Shauna popped her head out from behind the locker door and glared at Jackie again.
“Oh, God forbid I care about our child.” Jackie held out her arms to Shauna and scrunched her hands. “Gimme!”
Shauna dropped the sack into Jackie’s arms without hesitation. Jackie lifted the sack above her head and examined all the sides and corners.
“That is not a real baby, you know,” Shauna said, closing the locker door. “And she’s fine.” She picked up her backpack from the floor and slung it over her shoulder.
Of course Shauna didn’t really care about Elizabeth. “Lucky for her, only one of us has that terrible attitude,” Jackie said.
Shauna rolled her eyes and started walking away.
And even though Jackie’s class was on the opposite side of the building, something compelled her to follow Shauna. “Why’d you take the bus?”
Shauna stopped in the middle of the hallway. Students cycled around them, heading to different rooms and different lockers. “Why do you care?”
Why did she care? They weren’t best friends anymore. Shauna could do whatever she wanted—take the bus or fuck someone else’s boyfriend.
“‘Cause,” Jackie replied, pausing, “You never take the bus.” She readjusted the flour sack against her hip.
Shauna searched Jackie’s face. Jackie squirmed.
Finally, Shauna said, “My engine wouldn’t turn over. There. Nothing special.” She continued walking down the hall.
Where did Shauna think she was going? Jackie didn’t tell her this was over.
“Hey!” Jackie trailed after her. “Stop!”
Shauna stopped abruptly and swiveled. “What, Jackie?” She spat back.
Jackie stumbled, heels sliding on the tile floor. She gripped the sack with both arms. “Jeez!” she snapped, steadying herself. “I was just gonna ask if you wanted me to, um, take you home after soccer practice.”
Shauna narrowed her eyes. “What?”
Jackie’s heartbeat jumped into her throat. If she wanted to, she could easily get out of this. She could take back what she said, tell Shauna she was hearing things, or say she'd forgotten she had something to do after school. She had a moment of opportunity to change her path.
“I’ll take you home,” Jackie repeated. “I don’t want Elizabeth on the bus again.” She didn’t, it wasn’t safe.
Shauna rolled her eyes. “Of course this is about the kid.”
The warning bell rang. Jackie realized she had at least a five-minute walk to her classroom. She shot Shauna a look that said, Answer now or never.
“Whatever,” Shauna continued. “I’ll go home with you.”
Jackie spent the rest of the day hot, sweaty, and now regretting her offer.
It had seemed like the right thing to do at the time, something she wouldn’t have thought twice about pre-drama. And she could make sure Shauna wouldn’t lose Elizabeth on the bus.
Except now she couldn’t stop thinking about being alone in the car with Shauna.
What would they talk about?
Jackie looked around the field. Shauna wasn’t even there yet. She shook her head and tried to focus on practice.
They were running a warm-up drill, and Jackie forced herself to pay attention as the ball moved between her teammates. She jogged into position and wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her wrist.
Would Shauna even want to talk? Or would they ride in complete silence for the entire drive?
“Jackie.”
What music would she play? Did she have any CDs in her car?
“Jackie.”
Fuck. Was her car even clean?!
“Holy shit, Taylor! Kick the fucking ball!”
Jackie zoned back in.
Natalie stood across from her, hands on her hips. The ball sat next to Jackie’s right foot.
Right. Soccer.
Jackie quickly kicked the ball to Natalie through the set of cones in front of them and moved. She attempted to let the drill overtake the Shauna-related thoughts in her head.
Van walked over and waited behind Natalie, ready to step in. “I still can’t believe you got paired with fucking Shipman,” she said, laughing. “Especially post-divorce.”
Great. Back to Shauna.
The whole month had been filled with divorce jokes from their team, and every time it left someone's lips, an image of Shauna and Jeff doing something disgusting flashed through Jackie’s mind.
“Stop calling it that,” Jackie said, fumbling the pass and kicking it off-center. Natalie huffed and retrieved it, while Jackie shot Van a quick glare.
“Well!” Van laughed. “That’s kinda what it is, isn’t it? You’re like divorced co-parents.”
Jackie’s chest tightened. “No,” she said, passing the ball back to Natalie. She squeezed her hands as she moved through the cones, pressing her fingernails into her palms. “We’re ex-friends forced to do a project together.”
“Oh my god,” Van gasped. “Are you gonna have a custody battle over the flour?”
Natalie passed it back to Jackie as another flash of Shauna on top of Jeff flashed through her mind. Jackie wound up her foot and kicked the ball too hard. It went flying toward Natalie’s head. She ducked quickly.
“What the fuck, Jackie?” Natalie shouted.
“Shit, fuck, sorry,” Jackie said, digging her heels into the turf to stop herself from sliding. She shook her head. “I’m gonna get water.”
Jackie walked toward the bench. She had to calm down. She had a practice to run.
“What the hell is Shauna doing?” She heard Natalie’s voice behind her.
At that, Jackie looked up. In the distance, she saw Shauna in front of the bench. Her body was blocking whatever she was fiddling with. Jackie shifted back and forth, trying to get a better look.
Shauna slowly raised her hands and backed away, releasing the tension in her shoulders. The flour sack sat upright on the bench, propped up against a sweatshirt with the sleeves wrapped tightly around it. Jackie’s chest tightened at the sight.
Natalie shoved her shoulder. “Your mouth’s wide open, Taylor.” She laughed and tossed the soccer ball into the air above Jackie. Jackie scrambled to grab it as it came down.
“It’s for our class, Natalie!” Jackie yelled back. “Dickhead,” she mumbled.
Shauna jogged toward Jackie, turning her head as she passed a still-laughing Natalie.
“What was that about?”
Jackie shook her head. “Nothing, just Natalie being an ass.”
Shauna shrugged. “Typical.”
Jackie’s eyes caught Elizabeth on the bench again. “What were you doing over there?”
Shauna looked over her shoulder, then back at Jackie. “Oh, uh, just propping her up so she can watch.” She smiled coyly.
Jackie's heartbeat instantly sped up. “O-oh,” she said, clearing her throat. “Great. Great! Watching her Moms—parents! Co-parents. Watching… us.”
“Uh huh,” Shauna replied, staring at Jackie like she was speaking another language.
Then, Shauna reached out between them, stopping her hands right in front of Jackie’s chest.
Jackie’s brow furrowed, confused.
“The ball, Jackie,” Shauna said.
“Oh, shit, right.” Jackie pushed the ball into Shauna’s hands, fingertips touching. Her face grew warm and, with a quick glimpse up at Shauna, Jackie swore hers grew the same.
If Jackie didn’t leave now, she was going to vomit all over the turf.
She ripped her hands off of the ball, startling Shauna. “I-I’m gonna.” Jackie shot a hand over her shoulder toward the water station and started jogging backward.
“Yeah, totally,” Shauna said, voice traveling from behind Jackie.
When Jackie got to the bench, she sat right next to Elizabeth. Shauna’s sweatshirt engulfed the flour sack. Jackie knew exactly which sweatshirt it was, too—Shauna’s old middle school gym sweatshirt. Jackie slowly reached over. She wanted to know if the fabric still felt as soft as she remembered.
“Baby, for Health class?”
Jackie jumped up, startled. “Jesus Christ.”
Curly blonde hair was hovering over her.
Misty.
“Uh, yeah, she’s for Health,” Jackie replied, heartbeat lowering.
Misty sat down next to Jackie.
“I wanted to take that class. It’s the only class Ben teaches, you know,” Misty said. “But my advisor suggested I take another AP class, and I argued back with him. How could another elective hurt college applications? It couldn’t. So I said…”
Jackie zoned out, watching her teammates run the drill. Tai ran through the cones, passing the ball back and forth to Mari before kicking it over to Shauna.
Shauna glided over the turf, weaving through the cones with ease. Jackie’s eyes followed as she moved around the field, noticing little things she’d never really paid attention to before. When did Shauna get such muscle definition? Jackie’s eyes traveled up Shauna’s back. From her calves to the back of her thighs to her ass—
“And that’s how I ended up with a gecko named Stacy for a year. Jackie, are you listening?”
Jackie shook her head too hard, making herself dizzy. What the fuck was she doing? Why was she staring at Shauna like a dude?!
“Yeah, s-sorry, Misty,” Jackie said. “I’m listening.”
She pivoted her attention back to Misty, hoping she hadn’t noticed. She tried not to make eye contact with Shauna for the rest of practice.
The walk from the locker room to the car felt longer than it should have. Jackie kept her eyes ahead. She could feel Shauna beside her, close enough that their arms brushed. It was making everything from practice bubble up inside her again.
She tried to push away most of the weird thoughts she'd had during practice, which cycled right back to the anticipation of the car ride.
Great.
Jackie tightened her grip on the flour sack as they reached her car. She opened her backpack with her free hand and fumbled around inside, searching for her keys. Shauna stood next to her, eyes burning into Jackie’s face.
Why did she have to stand so close? Did she always stand this fricking close?
“I can, um, take her from you,” Shauna said hesitantly.
“Oh, uh,” Jackie stuttered. “It’s fine.”
She just needed to find these stupid fucking keys!
“Jackie…” Shauna’s voice was soft.
At that, Jackie looked up at Shauna. She wished she didn’t—every weird thought flooded back instantly. She let out a deep breath and loosened her grip on Elizabeth.
On the pass, Shauna’s hand brushed against the top of Jackie’s. The contact lingered a second too long, and Shauna smiled a bit too friendly.
Jackie felt her face heat up uncontrollably.
“T-thanks,” Jackie stuttered. She shot her head down and went back to digging in her bag.
Finally, she felt a familiar metal shape. She pulled the set from her bag and shoved the key into the driver's-side door.
Jackie pulled out of the parking lot more slowly than she ever had before. She barely drove Shauna around even when they were friends. Now she had Shauna holding a baby in the front seat on top of it all.
As she rolled to her first stop outside school, she realized how much the silence bothered her. “We should, um, listen to music,” Jackie said, gently pressing down on the gas pedal. She reached over and turned on the radio, letting it automatically scrub through channels until it reached one with a good signal.
An old Whitney song came on, and a few seconds later, Jackie heard a tapping noise next to her. On the red light, she tilted her head enough to see Shauna humming and tapping her thumb against the top of the flour sack.
“Thought you didn’t like this song, Shipman?”
Shauna startled and clutched the flour sack. “Oh, uh,” she hesitated, then seemed to realize how tightly she was holding it and let go. “No,” she said, shaking her head, “I just heard it so many times.”
“Because it’s good!”
“Okay, that doesn’t mean you need to play it ten times over in the shower!” Shauna waved her hands in front of her. “I’m surprised the CD didn’t burn out.”
“I was like twelve. Give me a break.” Jackie didn’t need to look over to the passenger seat to know Shauna was painfully rolling her eyes. She bit the inside of her mouth, fighting back the smile forming from the thought.
“Besides,” Jackie continued. “You sang songs in the shower too.”
“No, I didn’t,” Shauna replied seriously.
“You definitely did!” Jackie gasped. “I heard you singing Baby Got Back multiple times. You clearly thought I wasn’t paying attention.”
“I was not singing.”
“You absolutely were singing.”
Jackie came to another red light and came to a rolling stop. Quickly, she glanced at Shauna, who was sporting a ridiculous pout.
“Hey, stop pouting,” Jackie said, looking back and forth before turning. “It was cute.”
Shauna’s pout quickly turned into a shy smile, and Jackie swore she could see a red hue spread across her cheeks. The sight made Jackie’s chest twist. She repositioned her hands on the wheel, uncomfortably aware of how sweaty they were getting.
A voice cut through from the radio. A kooky man’s voice introduced a radio show.
“We have a new caller! You’re on the air with Adam, The WIZZ-tastic Love Guru! What’s your name?”
“Erin,” a girl said through a crackling phone line.
“Okay, Erin,” the radio host replied, “Why’re you calling?”
“I-I think my boyfriend… likes someone else.”
Jackie gripped the steering wheel as an obnoxious air horn blared over the radio.
“Well, Erin, that does not sound good. What makes you think that?”
“There’s, uh, there’s this other girl.” The girl hesitated, and Jackie prayed this wasn’t going where she thought it was. “We used to be friends, actually. And he’s always just… staring at her. I catch him all the time, and he tries to lie about it. But, honestly, I wouldn’t even be surprised if they’ve had s—”
Shauna slammed the radio's power button, turning it off. Her hand shook as she pulled it back into her lap. “W-we don’t need to listen to the radio anymore.”
Jackie’s hands tightened around the steering wheel. Images of Shauna and Jeff flooded her mind again. All she could think about was why Shauna might have done it. Why, why, why, why repeated over and over in her head. The air between them grew thick as the car hummed along. She stared straight ahead, jaw clenched, as Shauna shifted uncomfortably beside her.
When Jackie finally pulled up outside Shauna’s house, she decided to break it.
“Why’d you turn it off?”
Shauna reached for the door handle, but paused. “‘Cause.”
“‘Cause why, Shauna? ‘Cause you don’t want to be reminded of what you did?”
Shauna was silent. She kept her eyes fixed ahead, fingers tightening around the flour sack in her lap. The paper crinkled beneath her grip.
“Classic.” Jackie let out a bitter laugh. “You know,” she continued, aggressively poking a finger at the sack in Shauna’s lap, “I’m surprised this baby isn’t real since you decided to be a whore with my boyfriend.”
Shauna stared at Jackie. Her chest rose and fell at the same pace as Jackie’s. For a second, Jackie thought she might say something. Yell at her, tell her to go fuck herself. Throw the flour sack in her face. Anything.
Instead, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. “Okay, Jackie,” Shauna said, her voice tightening. “You can have that one.”
Jackie’s mouth opened, but before she could speak, Shauna opened the door.
“Hey!” Jackie raced out of the car. She slammed the car door behind her and chased after Shauna, who was already heading toward the front door. “Do not walk away from me! We still have an assignment to do!”
Shauna whirled around. The flour sack shifted in her arms, and she quickly pulled it against her chest. “I’ll fucking do it myself, Jackie!” She squeezed the sack again, and a cloud of white powder puffed out of the paper. “It’s not like you want to be around me anyway. I’m making this easy for us both.”
“No! Absolutely not.”
“What do you even want from me? One minute you’re staring at me all day and the next you’re calling me a whore.”
“I just-I don’t know, Shauna!” Jackie threw her hands up in the air, frustration spilling out. Shauna stayed quiet, grip still tight around the flour.
Jackie let her hands fall to her sides and took a breath before continuing. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? We said we would only talk about the assignment, and I-I got caught up in our other bullshit. Let’s just focus on finishing the assignment, and then we never have to speak again.”
Shauna chewed on her bottom lip, eyes flitting from Jackie to the sack and back to Jackie.
“Okay?” Jackie asked, softer than before.
“Fine,” Shauna replied. “Whatever.” She headed for the front door. But before she could put her key in, she turned back around toward Jackie. Jackie’s skin buzzed with leftover adrenaline.
“Come over tomorrow night,” Shauna continued. “We’ll finish the presentation.”
Jackie searched Shauna’s face. She really did not want to spend an entire night alone with Shauna, but there was no other time to get this done.
“Okay,” she answered.
“Okay.”
For a moment, neither of them moved. The argument seemed to burn itself out, leaving awkwardness behind.
Jackie stood there until Shauna disappeared inside. Only then did she retreat to her own car.
On the way home, she drove fifteen miles over the speed limit.
The next day, she went through school as normally as possible.
She sat with Lottie at lunch and let her talk about some TJ Maxx weekend deal. Jackie could barely follow along most of the time, but it was nice to hear Lottie excited about something. She told Jeff to kindly fuck off during Math. Unfortunately, he still sat in front of her and saw it as a chance to talk to her. (It wasn’t.)
And she definitely did not, not even once, look at Shauna. Not when she walked down the hall. Not when she was in the cafeteria line. And definitely not when she caught Shauna looking at her too.
At 6 p.m., she got in her car—freshly changed clothes and a brand-new face of makeup—and drove over to Shauna’s. She checked her reflection in the rearview mirror at least three times before she even left her neighborhood.
“I haven’t had a movie date with Shauna in a while, Elizabeth,” Jackie said, hitting her left turn signal as she pulled up to the light.
“Wait! No, not a date! I meant movie night,” Jackie said in a panic. She pressed harder on the brake, even though the car was already idling at zero miles per hour. She looked over at Elizabeth, still propped up in the passenger seat with a seatbelt across her paper body.
Jackie shook her head. “I’m going crazy. I’m talking to a sack of flour like an insane person.”
Even though Jackie had just been to Shauna’s the day prior, something about standing outside the house made her want to scream. Or burst into tears. She wasn’t quite sure. Her stomach twisted as she stood on the front step.
“Hey,” Shauna said, opening the door.
“Hey,” Jackie replied awkwardly.
They stared for a beat, neither moving.
“Should I…” Jackie motioned toward the house.
“Oh, yeah.” Shauna jumped out of the way. “Sorry.”
The awkwardness slowly dissipated as the minutes passed. Eventually, they settled in Shauna’s kitchen, stationed around the center island, with a pot of water boiling on the stove. Jackie sat on a barstool, papers spread across the tiles, with Elizabeth positioned between her and Shauna. They went back and forth, answering questions about their shared responsibility, what they learned while caring for the child, and how they could use these skills in the future.
“Okay, what surprised you most during the project?” Jackie asked, tapping her pen against the counter.
Shauna dumped a box of pasta into the now-boiling water and stirred it. “That she was made of flour.”
Jackie held her pen still. “Can you answer seriously?”
“I mean,” Shauna stirred the pasta again before setting the spoon down, “If I had a baby and the doctor said, Ma’am, here is your perfectly healthy flour-filled baby, I’d be a little concerned.” She crossed her arms and leaned against the counter next to the stove.
Jackie shot Shauna an annoyed look. She tapped her pen against her lips. “I’m going to put how hard it is to compromise.” She leaned down to write, then shot back up. “Oh! And how exhausting it is to carry a baby around all day.”
“Go to the next one, please,” Shauna begged, as she walked over to Jackie. She placed her elbows on the counter and dropped her chin into her hands.
The same sandalwood-and-rose smell hit Jackie’s nose, and she tensed up immediately. The smell had never bothered her before. She hated it now. She shifted on the barstool, putting a little more distance between them.
“A-alright,” Jackie stuttered, looking over the list of questions until she found her place. “Yeah, so, next one is, what was the biggest—”
Jackie stopped abruptly as her eyes read over the back end of the question.
“Biggest what?”
Jackie cleared her throat. There was no way of getting around this. They had to finish the assignment. It was one question; it wasn’t a big deal. She could ask one stupid assignment question without making it weird.
“What was the biggest, um, mistake you made during the, uh, the project?” Jackie kept her head down, her eyes shifting to the side.
“Uh,” Shauna mumbled, “I-well…” She stared at the page for a few seconds, her lips parting as if she were trying to find the right answer. “T-the biggest mistake, wow,—”
“Uh, Shauna,” Jackie said when she noticed the water in the pot rising.
“I mean, I just think—”
“Shauna!” Jackie shot up from the barstool and pointed toward the stove. “The water is overflowing.”
“Fuck!” Shauna ran over to the pot and grabbed the handle to move it. She pulled her hand back immediately. “Ow! Shit.”
Jackie jumped off the barstool and pulled Shauna away from the stove. Shauna held her wrist, and Jackie could see Shauna’s hand reddening by the second. “Hey! Hey. Let’s put it under cold water, okay?”
Shauna nodded, still wincing as they moved over to the sink.
Quickly, Jackie flipped on the faucet, keeping a tight grip around Shauna’s waist. She stuck two fingers under the running water to check the temperature, then guided Shauna’s burned palm underneath.
“Why’d you grab that?” Jackie asked. Shauna’s hand stayed still under the running water as Jackie stroked her wrist. “Are you crazy?”
“I don’t know,” Shauna replied. A tear trickled down her cheek. She wiped it away with the back of her uninjured hand and let out a wet laugh. “I don’t want her seeing me like this.”
“Who?”
Shauna nodded her head behind her. “Lizzy.”
Jackie turned around. Lizzy? Who the hell was Lizzy? Did Shauna mean… the flour sack? She glanced toward the kitchen island where Elizabeth was still sitting exactly where they had left her.
“Li—You mean Elizabeth?” Jackie tilted her head, confused.
“Yeah, sorry,” Shauna said, shaking her head. “I meant Elizabeth.”
Something felt off. Shauna knew Elizabeth’s name. She named her. Even with her hand in pain, Shauna wouldn’t just forget the name she gave their fake child.
Jackie stepped back and let go of Shauna’s waist. “Why’d you call her Lizzy?”
Shauna turned off the faucet and grabbed the dish towel, gently patting her injured hand. “It’s just a nickname. It’s not a big deal, Jackie.”
“No,” Jackie said, shaking her head violently. “No, that’s not it.”
A memory came back to Jackie instantly. When she was little, her mom had shown her a list of baby names she kept in Jackie’s baby book. She wrote them down years before she got pregnant with Jackie. At the top was a name circled multiple times with a red pen. Jackie asked why that one was so important, and her mom told her it was her favorite.
“We were going to call you Elizabeth. I wanted to call you Lizzy for short; that’s why it’s circled so many times. It was my favorite name, but your dad didn’t like it. Even with the nickname, he felt it was too close to Elizabeth Taylor. So we went to Jacqueline, like your great-grandmother.”
“You-you used my mom’s name for me?” That was impossible. How did Shauna even remember that? Jackie barely even remembered telling her.
Now, Shauna stared at her, all big eyes and trembling lips. She opened her mouth to speak and closed it. Her burned hand hung loosely at her side, forgotten for the moment.
Jackie took a step toward Shauna, leaving only inches between them. “Tell me if you named the flour sack Lizzy because of me.”
Shauna looked away, breaking eye contact. “Yeah.”
Something unfamiliar twisted through Jackie’s chest, fire rising from her stomach, wanting to be released. She grabbed both sides of Shauna’s face and plunged forward, their lips meeting in the middle.
Nothing made sense. Everything made sense. She let every thought from this week run wild in her brain as her lips desperately moved against Shauna’s.
Shauna placed her hands at Jackie’s waist, still holding the kitchen towel, and pressed her fingertips into Jackie’s hips.
Jackie felt dizzy from it. She wrapped her arms around Shauna’s shoulders and pulled them flush together.
Suddenly, a key rattled in the front door.
“Shauna, I got off early.” Shauna’s mom’s voice carried to the kitchen. The front door clicked shut.
Jackie pulled away with a pop, leaving Shauna with her lips pouted. They scrambled away from each other.
“Oh, Jackie!” Deb said as she walked into the kitchen. “I didn’t know you were coming over.”
“Oh, well,” Jackie said, nervously tugging at her bicep. “Yeah, I’m here! Working on a project with Shauna,” Jackie said. Deb walked across the kitchen and pulled Jackie into a tight embrace.
“Shauna,” Deb said, her arms still feeling like a second home. “Why didn’t you tell me Jackie was coming?“
Jackie looked down at Shauna’s lips from over Deb’s shoulder. They were completely covered with Jackie’s lip gloss. Jackie shot Shauna a look and pointed to her own mouth. Shauna froze, then scrambled to lift the towel in her hand, almost dropping it in her hurry.
“Uh, forgot.” Shauna scrubbed her lips with the kitchen towel and tossed it on the counter.
Deb pulled away from Jackie and glanced at Shauna, then did a double take. “What the hell did you do to your hand?”
“I’m fine, Mom,” Shauna groaned as her mom grabbed her wrist and examined her still-red palm. “The stove’s a mess, though.” She tilted her head toward the warm pot and water-stained countertop.
“I’ll clean it up,” Deb replied. “You,” she poked Shauna’s chest, “need to grab an ice pack and go sit in the living room.”
“Fine.”
“Jackie,” Deb continued. “Make sure Shauna can’t hurt herself in the living room, please.”
“Y-yeah, will do.”
They sat on opposite sides of the couch with Elizabeth between them. Jackie studied the presentation paper as Shauna kept her palm flat against an ice pack balancing on her thigh, and some black-and-white sitcom played in the background.
“Do, uh,” Shauna mumbled, cutting through the TV noise. “Do you want to talk about i—”
“No!” Jackie spat out. Quickly, she reeled back, embarrassed. “Uh, no. Let me just look over these questions.”
“Do you want to read them to me?”
“No.”
“C’mon, Jackie. I’m down a hand, but I can still help.”
Shauna reached across the couch toward Jackie’s hand.
“No, Shauna, just—” Jackie stopped herself, pulling her hand into her chest. She looked around in a panic. She could hear Deb cleaning up in the kitchen, and she swore she could still smell stupid sandalwood and rose all over her.
“I’m just gonna go home,” Jackie continued as she got off the couch. “We only had two questions left anyway. We can, um, answer separately. It’ll be fine.”
She grabbed her things and swung her backpack over one shoulder, then bent down to grab Lizzy—Elizabeth.
Whatever her fucking name was.
“Jackie, don’t go,” Shauna said, her voice wavering.
Jackie’s chest hurt so much she had to look away. She needed to get away from Shauna and her big eyes and nice-smelling perfume and soft lips and—
“Nice to see you, Deb!” Jackie yelled as she closed the door, rushing out before she could hear her response.
The weekend came and went in a blur. Jackie sat by the pool for most of it, staring at her reflection in the water. She replayed the moment in Shauna’s kitchen over and over again, trying to figure out why she did what she did.
“God, this sucks,” Jackie said, feet kicking in the deep end of the pool.
“Language, Jackie,” her mom said from the sliding glass door, startling Jackie.
“Sorry,” she mumbled back. She swiftly kicked under the water.
“Are you coming inside soon? It’s been hours, and you have school tomorrow.”
“Uh, yeah,” Jackie replied. She grabbed Elizabeth and her towel and headed inside.
Every intrusive thought felt like it was at full volume as she trekked up the stairs to her room. She took a shower in silence, letting the burning water smack her face uncomfortably before climbing into bed.
The ceiling fan spun on medium power, blowing her bangs softly.
“Do you think Shauna’s a good mom?” Jackie asked, tilting her head to the side. Elizabeth lay next to her against a pillow, silent.
“Uh, huh,” Jackie said, blinking a few times before straightening her head.
She chewed on the inside of her bottom lip.
“Lizzy, am I… into Shauna?” Jackie asked, watching the fan blades blur together. “Like Randy?” The thought of flirting with Shauna like Randy made her nauseous. “Never mind, don’t answer that.”
Thinking back on her relationship, she never really liked Jeff. He annoyed her on most days. And those were the good ones, unlike Shauna. She could spend every waking hour with Shauna. Did she always have these weird thoughts about Shauna? If she reevaluated most of her high school career, then yeah, maybe she did. How did she not realize this sooner?
“I’m gonna have to talk to her, aren’t I?” Jackie asked her empty room.
This time, she didn’t look over for Elizabeth’s response. She knew what it would be anyway. Her stomach swirled at the thought of discussing this with Shauna. Then it tightened as she remembered her lips on Jackie’s.
Jackie flipped over and turned off the light on her nightstand. That was tomorrow’s problem.
Tomorrow was definitely a problem.
Health was the last class of the day. She carried her presentation notecards around in her bag all day. She ignored everyone, including Shauna. She just had to focus, get through this presentation, and then ask Shauna to talk.
That was it. Simple, three-step plan—kind of.
Jackie heard the warning bell for her last period and closed her locker. The Health classroom was just around the corner. She shoved her notecards in her jean pocket, zipped up her backpack, and held Lizzy close to her chest as she walked through the hall.
By the time she got to the classroom, Shauna was already inside. She looked up as soon as Jackie stepped past the doorframe and smiled, waving.
Jackie’s heart fluttered at the sight.
“Do you need anything before this?” Shauna asked, following Jackie to her desk in the back of the class.
“No, I think I’m good,” Jackie said. She dropped her bag on the seat and pulled out the notecards, wiggling the stack. “Do you need anything?”
“Nope,” Shauna replied.
“Okay, great.”
Shauna shot her another small smile and began to retreat. It was now or never. Jackie had to buck up or throw up or whatever the stupid phrase was.
“Oh, uh, Shipman?” Jackie said. “Could we talk after class?”
Shauna frowned, scanning her. “Yeah, are you okay?”
“Yeah, it’s not bad,” Jackie said. “I just want to talk in private.”
Shauna opened her mouth—but the bell rang. She sighed, nodded at Jackie, and slunk back to her seat.
“So,” Ben said as he walked in and dropped his bag on his desk, “How was everyone’s week with their kid?”
Unanimous nods and ‘goods’ were said among the students.
“Uh, Coach?” Randy said, his hand inching into the air.
“Yes, Randy,” Ben said.
“Half my sack’s kinda… dying.” Randy held up the flour sack. The top was torn, and flour dropped onto the ground. Randy’s partner, some brunette Jackie barely knew, slapped a palm against her face and groaned.
Ben stared at Randy, completely expressionless. “We’ll discuss that later.” Then he moved to the front of class and pulled down the projector cord, making the screen snap back up. “Alright, Adams, Balk, you’re up first.”
One by one, a pair went up, talked for a few minutes, showed off their flour sack, and took a seat. Jackie realized quickly it was going in alphabetical order, which meant she and Shauna would be last.
She glanced over her cards between every presentation, quietly mouthing the words to herself. At one point, Jackie looked up and made eye contact with Shauna, who was reaching down for a fallen pen. Shauna mouthed ‘OK,’ and Jackie nodded. Then she shot Jackie a thumbs-up and turned back around. Jackie instantly felt a swirl in her stomach. She shook her head. This wasn’t the time to lose focus. She could do that later.
“Taylor, Shipman,” Ben called out, “You’re our last ones.”
Jackie shuffled through the aisle, gripping the notecards against Elizabeth. She propped the sack on the desk in front and began.
They worked through the presentation, answering questions back and forth as they went. It wasn’t nearly as bad as Jackie thought. A week ago she stood in the same place, angry to be standing next to Shauna. Now, as she listened to her talk about her time with Elizabeth, she felt almost glad to be forced into this position.
They kept talking about what they’d learned about communication and compromise. Shauna summarized their fight over Elizabeth as a “difference in parenting style,” and Jackie had to hold back a laugh.
Jackie looked at the clock. Less than five minutes left. She decided to wrap up the presentation for both of them. “Overall, I think we both agree having a child anytime soon is a no,” she said with a smile.
Ben started to speak, but Shauna quickly cut him off.
“Oh, uh, one more thing,” Shauna said. Ben extended a hand, inviting her to continue. “One of the optional questions on the sheet had to do with what the most rewarding part of the experience was.”
Shauna rocked back and forth on her heels. What was she doing? Jackie didn’t have anything in her notes for this question.
“I think the best part was getting to share this experience with my best friend,” Shauna said, a smile tugging at her lips as she slowly looked over at Jackie.
Jackie’s throat tightened. Best friend. She hadn’t heard Shauna call her that in so long. Her fingers tightened around her notecards. She felt heat creep up her neck and prayed no one else in the room noticed.
The bell rang.
Jackie nearly jumped.
Chairs scraped against the floor as everyone started gathering their things, and the sudden noise gave her something else to focus on. She grabbed Elizabeth off the table and went back to her desk, packing as quickly as possible.
When she left the room, Jeff stood in the doorway.
“Good job, Jack,” he said.
She glanced up at him. This was not the fucking time. “Thanks,” she muttered, trying to cross the threshold.
“Jackie!” Shauna called out from behind her.
Jesus Christ. The talk.
Jackie was so caught up in what happened during the presentation that she almost forgot. She slowed her pace to let Shauna catch up.
A moment passed, and Shauna wasn’t beside her.
Instead, she heard Jeff’s voice again. “Hey, Shauna. Great job. You, uh, you looked really good up there. Like, motherly and all.”
“Ew, Jeff,” Shauna replied.
Jackie froze. Everything went hot, and her vision narrowed. Her fingers tightened around Elizabeth.
Motherly. What the fuck did that mean?
Something in her snapped. In one fluid motion, she turned around, locked eyes with Jeff, and launched the flour sack.
Jackie barely had time to register what she’d done before Elizabeth went flying. The world seemed to slow. Jeff’s eyes went wide. He ducked down, dodging the flour sack by a hair. The sack flew past the Health classroom door and hit the next tallest target.
Lottie Matthews.
A smack rang out, and white powder flew everywhere. Jackie clasped both hands over her mouth.
“What the fuck, Jackie!” Jeff yelled out. Shauna looked back and forth between Lottie and Jackie, mouth agape.
Van, who was standing right next to Lottie, barked out an extremely loud laugh. “Lot, holy fuck, you look like a ghost.”
Lottie wiped her eyes and spit out the powder that had gotten trapped in her mouth as Van belly-laughed next to her. Lottie picked up the flour sack and smacked Van in the face with it.
“Fuck yeah!” Randy yelled out and chucked his flour sack at a random student.
Instantly, everyone joined in. Flour flew everywhere. Students ran, dodging the clouds of white powder. Someone screamed. Someone else started laughing. Within seconds, the entire hallway was powder-filled chaos.
Jeff sprinted past Jackie with a sour look. Jackie watched him leave, her hands still hovering uselessly in front of her.
She felt a tug at her wrist.
“We have to go. Now,” Shauna said.
Jackie nodded and let Shauna lead the way through the flour clouds. She ducked as another flour sack flew past her head, narrowly missing them both. They turned a corner and ran toward the back exit.
The second they pushed through the exit doors, the hallway noise muffled behind them.
“Where are we going?” Jackie asked.
“Soccer field.”
Shauna kept walking. At some point, her hand slid down Jackie’s wrist and connected with Jackie’s palm. Jackie still felt the adrenaline buzzing under her skin.
They reached the bleachers, and Shauna climbed up a few steps before sitting down. Jackie looked around. No one else had followed them out. She dropped onto the bench beside Shauna.
“You’ve got some—” Shauna motioned around her eyes.
“You’ve got some too, Shipman,” Jackie replied. She looked down at her hands. White powder dusted the tops of her knuckles. She wiped them on her jeans.
Shauna rubbed at her own eyes.
“I’m sorry I threw Lizzy at Jeff,” Jackie said.
“That’s alright,” Shauna replied. She squinted and tilted her head. “I appreciate you defending me, even if it killed her.”
“Shauna!” Jackie gasped and playfully shoved Shauna. “That was our baby.”
“Eh,” Shauna shrugged. “We were probably going to eat her anyway.”
Jackie rolled her eyes and leaned back. The afternoon sun was starting to sink behind the trees lining the soccer field. A light breeze moved through the air. The only sound was the faint hum of the cars pulling out of the parking lot behind them.
Jackie tilted her head toward Shauna and squinted. A bit of flour still stuck to Shauna’s cheek. Without thinking, she reached over and brushed it away with her thumb.
“I think there might be something wrong with me,” Jackie said, voice shaky.
“Is that what you wanted to talk about?”
Jackie nodded. Her thumb lingered against Shauna’s cheek, brushing over another patch of flour on her cheekbone. “I think I should be mad at you still.”
“Are you not?”
“Not really,” Jackie replied honestly. Her hand stayed on Shauna’s cheek, thumb stroking the skin gently. “I think I just miss you.”
Shauna leaned into Jackie’s hand. For a moment, she said nothing. Then: “I miss you too.”
Jackie’s heartbeat sped up as she searched Shauna’s eyes, her chest aching with want. Shauna lifted a hand toward Jackie’s face.
“Close your eyes.”
Jackie did as she was told. She felt Shauna’s fingertips lightly brush over her eyelids, swiping once, then twice. She kept her eyes closed, waiting for her to do it again.
Instead, soft lips pressed against hers.
A spark of electricity shot down Jackie’s spine. When Shauna pulled back, Jackie immediately leaned forward, reconnecting their lips. The kiss tasted like sweet candy and ginger, with a hint of flour.
After a few minutes, Shauna finally pulled away.
“It was really hot when you threw the sack at Jeff, by the way,” Shauna said, breathing hard.
“I didn’t even hit him, Shauna!”
“If it were a corner kick, you would have totally nailed it.” Shauna nodded earnestly.
Jackie shot her a teasing look, then grabbed Shauna’s hand where it rested on her thigh and interlocked their fingers. She gave her hand a small squeeze.
“Can we get another Lizzy?” Shauna asked.
“Just kiss me again, Shipman.”