Chapter Text
The library was quiet. Which was to be expected. It was a Friday and the semester had only just begun, so there were really only a few people scattered around. So it wasn’t empty. That was good. You don’t like working in the library when it’s entirely empty. Then the rattling of the HVAC system or the tapping of a pencil from the only other person in the whole building starts to get under your skin.
There was still the occasional squeak of someone’s chair against the floor, and you can hear the distant clacking of someone’s keyboard, a freshman frantically flipping through the pages of the course syllabus they just got for a class they are probably gonna drop, someone coughing into their sleeve.
But it was quite enough to work.
But that's to say for when you are working. Which you currently are not.
Well, not technically I guess.
You have been sitting at the same table, the same table you always go to, if it’s not taken. Which it usually isn’t. The table in the north corner of the 3rd floor, hidden behind the archival stacks, and large enough to fit 4 people. So in other words, just large enough to fit your sprawl of notebooks, papers, and the massive charging cable for your laptop.
But you have been sitting here long enough that your back has started to hurt and you realize you have been hunched over your table sprawl for the better part of 2 hours.
So you took a deep breath, rolled your shoulders and… stared back down at your computer screen.
Excel
The current bane of your existence.
For a second you wonder what possessed you to want to try and learn how to use it properly. Because you weren’t working on any project for a class. No. Classes had barely started, you didn’t have any work to do yet. So in order to try and enjoy the brief break you get before your workload inevitably picks up, you decided the best way to do that would be to go to the campus library, find a quiet table, open Microsoft Excel, and— catalog every book you have read in the past year.
For fun.
You have no idea where the idea popped into your head, but you decided it would be an excellent use of your extremely limited free time to gather all the data from every book you can remember reading this year and then try to use functions in excel to organize said data.
The organization part wasn’t even that bad. But once you started creating categories to sort by, you created sub categories, then sub sub categories. And suddenly you are left with a function that you are sure you knew how it worked at some point. But it is no longer that point. And you have no clue why it works anymore.
You stare at the cell, which now has the function
=LET(
header,INDIRECT("Sheet1!"&O1&"1:"&AK2&"1"),
rng,IF(header=AO2,INDIRECT("Genre!"&O1&"15:"&AK2&"30"),""),
cleaned,TRIM(CLEAN(SUBSTITUTE(rng,CHAR(160)," "))),
all_vals,TOCOL(cleaned),
clean_vals,FILTER(all_vals,(all_vals<>"")*(all_vals<>0)*(all_vals<>"0")),
unique_vals,UNIQUE(clean_vals),
counts,MAP(unique_vals,LAMBDA(x,SUM(--(cleaned=x)))),
TAKE(SORTBY(unique_vals,counts,-1),5)
And you can't even bring yourself to be surprised at how absurd it looks.
You know it's not an optimized function, but hey, if it works… you leave it the fuck alone.
And it does work. It works to tell you the top genres you have read in books that were 50-100 pages.
…
God.
It really is quite pathetic how much you enjoy working on stupid little projects like this. Just repetitive tasks of shifting data cells to match a certain threshold, then searching up how to sort the data to produce a specific result. Which most of the time just ended in you copying whatever bullshit you put into the cell, pasting it in the google search bar, then following it with “why isn’t this working”.
But hey, knowing how to properly use excel is not something you need to put on your resume.
After another 10 minutes of just selecting, shifting, and re-selecting cells on the first sheet you realized your headphones had stopped playing music.
You had probably paused your playlist because you needed to focus on this one function and to read the google generated response to why it didn’t work, which made absolutely no sense by the way. So then you had to scroll further until you could find a reliable source.
A reddit post made in 2012. And it’s asking the same question you need answered.
Bingo
I mean almost. I’m sure the average reddit user in 2012 and the college architecture student who is trying to catalog every book she has read like a madwoman have slightly different reasons for asking how to cross analyse specific columns of a sheet, but only when the value of a specific cell matches a reference cell, and then only sort the data from specific rows, from the specific columns identified from the first function.
No responses. Shit.
But that was then. Right now you just remembered that your music has stopped playing.
That was fine though. Even if your headphones weren’t playing anything, you still liked just having them on.
It made people less likely to talk to you.
Or, more accurately, it made you feel like people were less likely to come up and talk to you. You have no clue what people are actually thinking about you. And anytime you guess you are usually, always, almost always, wrong. So you have tried to stop guessing. Unsuccessfully.
You were still staring at the screen, mindlessly selecting, shifting, re-selecting, and shifting again, when you heard some footsteps nearby.
Quite a few of them. Probably a small group of people. Maybe they are on their way to lunch, or trying to find a table to chat at. You don’t look up from your screen. It doesn’t concern you.
So you narrow your eyes and go back to your task. Click, drag, click, drag, and add in some occasional clacking of your keyboard when you have to undo something.
So maybe it was because you were so hyperfocused on this dumb little spreadsheet that you didn’t register that someone had stopped in front of your table.
You just kept clicking and repeating the same motion over and over again with a now practiced efficiency. Until you decided to try and edit one of the functions that still was not sorting the data you wanted it too. Your foot starts to tab and you gently suck on your lower lip as you try and make sense of the error message. Like if you just stared at it hard enough then suddenly all the knowledge of the all powerful Microsoft Excel will be bestowed down upon you.
But that was not happening.
Didn’t stop you from trying though. Even if you were now vaguely aware that there was a small group of people gathering near you.
You thought you heard someone say something so you glanced up.
Oh.
There was a girl from your design class elective. She was nice. The two of you had sat near each other on the first day. And on the second day, despite what you have been told is a very icy outward appearance, she wanted to exchange contact details.
She had actually texted you a few hours ago.
You glanced up at her again and now also processed the group of other people around her. Ah. That makes sense. She is just out with her friends. Of course you were reading to much into it when she texted you. You had one class together that met twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We had talked a bit in the 2 classes we had so far, but definitely not enough to interrupt her and her friend group.
So you turned your focus back onto your cursed excel sheet.
It had probably been more than the socially acceptable amount of seconds for someone to stand next to you before you greeted them when you realized that Yachi and the, now you could see, 4 other people she was with were now standing directly next to you. Looking at you.
You looked at Yachi, who was smiling, of course, but then you glanced at the rest of them. You were left semi-stunned trying to figure out what you were supposed to do in this scenario. Say hello? Ask what they are doing? Pack up your stuff to leave because they want the table you were using?
You didn’t want to interrupt them, or interrupt whatever was happening. Especially since you had no idea if Yachi wanted to introduce you to these people or if they just happened to stop beside you.
You looked at the group again.
One guy was looking at you.
Tall.
Messy black hair.
Very…
Judgy.
Was he judging you? You didn’t even know him. What possible judgments could he be making already?
You looked back at Yachi as you thought you heard the judgy boy say something. Then you were suddenly very aware that you still had your big ass headphones over your ears and probably looked pretty disrespectful.
Oh.
So you pull one side off your ear and let it rest on the back of your head, and try to figure out what is going on or what he just said.
“What?” you ask.
The judgy boy’s eyes snapped back towards you. There was something cat like about them.
He looked away again as he caught your gaze and muttered “Nothing.”
You kept looking at him. You waited. He said nothing else. You glanced around at the rest of them, who also said nothing else.
Ah. Okay.
So…
Nothing
You nodded slightly.
“Okay”
And you moved to pull your headphone back over your ear.
You weren't trying to be rude. You just assumed that you weren’t supposed to be a part of whatever conversation they were having.
Which was fine.
You could just keep working. So you looked back to your computer screen.
There.
Problem solved.
You can just pretend they aren’t there. And pretend you can’t feel the air shifting as one of the other taller boys keeps rocking back and forth on his heels. You can pretend you don't feel them staring at you.
And that way they can go back to whatever conversation they apparently weren’t having before you interrupted them.
Everybody wins.
You reach for your mouse again when Yachi started talking.
“Anyways! This is my classmate from my design class. We sit next to eachother!”
You looked up again.
Oh.
Okay.
So you are being introduced.
You slowly start to take your headphones off your head and let them dangle around your neck as you smile politely.
Or tired too.
“This is Suzumeda” Yachi said cheerfully as she gestured toward a taller girl with light brown hair in a high ponytail and freckles across the bridge of her nose.
The girl, Suzumeda, gave an outgoing smile that somehow didn’t feel fake or forced despite how perfect and practiced it looked.
You nodded politely
“Hi.”
Then Yachi gestured toward the large, broad-shouldered guy who was constantly shifting on his feet who absolutely towered over you while you were still sitting down.
“That’s Bokuto”
“HEY HEY HEY!!”
You physically recoiled.
Not because you were offended. Well, maybe your ears were. But he had suddenly shouted directly next to you when you had been sitting in near silence for the past... too long.
The sudden volume shift felt like someone had thrown a brick at your head.
You turned away from him slightly.
Jesus Christ.
You weren’t sure if this guy knew the library had rules. Really only one rule basically.
Apparently not.
Which was fine.
For him.
You’re sure that if you had made that much noise a librarian would materialize from the ceiling and personally escort you out. Because for whatever reason, everyone else can break rules like that, but the second you start to become more relaxed it has apparently never been ok to be relaxed about that rule, and no one has ever broken that rule in the past, and stop making excuses and take accountability for your own actions like everyone else.
Or something like that.
When you looked back up, the judgy one was watching you.
You wondered if you had made a face when the guy with frosted tips yelled.
Probably.
I mean, you hadn’t meant to make a face. You just hadn’t expected the human equivalent to an air horn to go off next to you.
He seemed to be the only one to notice, as said human air horn was still fidgeting and bouncing up and down, and Yachi continued with her introductions.
“The quite one is Kenma”
You turned your head. He was standing behind the rest of them playing a game on his phone. He glanced up when you looked at him and there was something piercing about his eyes. You gave a quick smile and he turned his attention back to his phone.
It made you feel a bit uneasy but you didn’t mind. You liked him. Not because you knew anything about him, but just because he wasn’t yelling.
“And the roster head is Kuroo.”
You turned your attention back to Yachi and then to the other boy standing next to you. The judgy one.
Kuroo.
Okay.
So that was his name.
Upon Yachi’s introduction, he immediately reacted.
“Hey, hey! Who you calling Roster Head???!”
Your eyes moved to his messy black hair, that stood up at some unnatural angles, that he was now aggressively trying to fix.
You stared.
He was now using both hands to try and comb out some of the spikes. Like Yachi’s comment had caused a personal crisis.
You pressed your lips together.
Your shoulders moved.
You bit the inside of your cheek.
Don’t laugh.
Don’t laugh.
You were still in a library. And you felt like you were already breaking the rules by having this many people standing around you talking on the quiet reading floor.
You absolutely could not be the person who started laughing too.
Bokuto said something.
Kuroo said something else. He sounded distressed. But you weren’t really listening anymore.
No, you were just trying very hard not to laugh.
Your nose burned and a tiny breath escaped. You looked down at the table.
Don’t.
You could feel yourself smiling despite your attempt to keep a neutral expression. It probably looked ridiculous. You felt ridiculous. You bit the inside of your cheek harder.
And of course, the more you tried to save face and suppress your laugh the funnier the stupid throw away joke became.
Gosh, why is his hair suddenly so important to him?
You looked up again.
Kuroo was still arguing against people who seemed like they genuinely could not care less about his internal crisis.
“... my hair does not look like that!”
You finally lost the battle at the way he is so desperately trying to convince them.
Your mouth twitched and your shoulders started shaking as you turned your head away from them and hid in the disguise of looked at your laptop.
You didn’t want them to think you were listening to their conversation.
Or worse, that you were laughing at them.
Although, technically, you were.
A little.
You heard someone say something about his hair.
Then another voice. Kenma, maybe.
You glanced up.
Kenma was still looking at his phone.
"It kind of does."
You bit your cheek again.
Oh.
You liked him.
You kept looking down at your laptop.
Yachi eventually started laughing too. But her laugh was not silent, it was soft and bubbly as she and Bokuto kept poking fun at Kuroo’s hair.
Their conversation continued.
So you tried to go back to your spreadsheet after you figured they were done with you. But that lasted approximately twelve seconds before you looked up again and judgy-mc-roster-head was glaring at you.
You immediately looked back down.
Why is he looking at me?
Had you been too obvious?
Maybe he'd noticed you laughing.
You hadn't meant—
Whatever.
You didn't know these people.
It didn't matter.
"What's so funny?" he suddenly asked.
Your fingers stopped. Shit. You didn’t think he was going to try and talk to you and you had no idea what you were supposed to say. You couldn’t stand the thought of looking back up to him and seeing the judgement in his eyes so you just looked the other way and mumbled “Nothing.”
He kept staring at you and you felt like you had just gotten in trouble with a teacher. "You're laughing at me." He continued.
"No I’m not." You tried to deflect.
But he didn’t let up.
You started to chew your bottom lip. I’m sorry, jeez. I won’t do it again if you just leave me alone.
I mean you hadn’t really been laughing. That would require making noise, which you were pretty good at not doing.
"I breathed." You responded.
He narrowed his eyes at you, “Uh-huh.” He said expectantly.
You looked up at him as he narrowed his eyes in deep suspicion. You could tell he wouldn’t stop until you gave him the answer he wanted. So you relented.
"Your hair is kind of stupid."
You didn’t look at him. You didn’t want to see his response.
The quiet one said something to him and you could feel his attention being taken off you, which you were thankful for. Another point for the quiet one, who you have determined you like the most so far.
But the quiet didn’t last long as Yachi was laughing, along with the fidgety one. Still too loud.
You sank back into your chair. I mean you didn’t mean to offend him, you were just laughing at the joke Yachi made. You can never really tell when something is ok for someone to make a joke at, or when it’s ok for you to make a joke. Because those two values do not always overlap.
You were pulled out of your thoughts when Yachi started talking again.
"You have to come get food with us."
You looked up.
"Oh."
You glanced at the others.
They were all waiting.
You looked back at your laptop.
"I can't."
"Why?" She said, and she almost sounded disappointed.
"I have to finish this."
One of the taller boys leaned closer to you, and was now very much in your personal space.
"Classes haven't even started yettt. You can do that later!"
You stared at him.
"No."
"Why not?" he frowned
You considered explaining. But then decided it wasn't worth it.
"Because then I'll have to do it later." you said bluntly
There was a pause.
You looked around. Everyone was now staring at you.
Had you said something weird?
Suzumeda started laughing.
You looked at her.
"What?"
"Nothing." She breathed out between chuckles
You narrowed her eyes.
"You laughed." you questioned.
"I did."
"Why?"
"Because that's such a you answer."
You frowned. That didn't answer the question. And how is that a me answer? You don't even know me.
You turned your focus back to Yachi and she smiled.
"You really won't come?" she said softly.
You shook her head.
"I'll come another time."
It wasn't a lie.
You would.
Probably.
Maybe.
I mean, you like Yachi. And you didn't mind meeting her friends.
You were just in the middle of something. And despite excel making you want to scream sometimes, once you started working on something it was really hard to switch into working on something else. And you know that getting lunch with people isn’t work, technically, but switching from research mode into thinking about every twitch in your face and how to try and control your tone appropriately wasn’t something you had the energy for right now.
“Alright.” Yachi said, “Next time.”
Bokuto suddenly threw his arms into the air.
"I NEED TO GET SOME GRUB!!"
You flinched again.
Why is he yelling?
He was already walking away. Suzumeda followed him and Yachi gave you a little wave.
"See you Tuesday!"
"See you."
Kenma nodded as he trailed behind the rest of the group. You nodded back. You weren’t sure if he saw though, as he was still playing his game while following Yachi.
Kuroo was the last one to move.
You looked at him.
He looked at you.
For some reason, you suddenly became very conscious of your expression.
Were you frowning? You probably were. You always looked angry when you were concentrating. At least, that's what people told you.
But you weren't angry. You were just thinking.
Eventually the tall boy walked away and followed the rest of the group.
You watched them go for a second. Then you looked back at your laptop.
There.
Quiet again.
You put your headphones back over your ears.
No music. Still. But it felt better.
You looked at your sheet. Then at the formula you were trying to make. Then at the formula again.
You shook her head.
"Stupid."
You weren't sure if you meant the formula or the hair comment.
Possibly both.
Probably both.
A tiny laugh escaped and you smiled to yourself as your shoulders shook.
-----
You didn't think much about the interaction afterward.
Mostly because you became hyperfocused on your project again, and hadn’t realized it had been 3 hours since they left.
And also because you had already decided that that Kuroo person was probably, kind of annoying.
Not in a serious way.
Just...
He had a face.
A very expressive face.
And apparently his hair was a sensitive subject.
You finally tested the new formula you had been working on for the past 47 minutes.
It worked.
You stared at the result.
A tiny, satisfied smile spread across your face.
Finally.
You leaned back in your chair.
Maybe you would actually go get food now.
Your phone buzzed and you smiled as you saw her contact pop up on your screen.
You looked at the message, thought about it, then typed back
You smiled at her immediate response.
You closed your phone. Then glanced toward the doorway where the group had disappeared. You briefly wondered, if you should have gone with them.
Probably not.
You were working.
And anyway…
You barely know them.