Archive of Our Own

January 2021

Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer 

[photo of a scene from When Harry Met Sally specifically when Harry said “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”]

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@seriouslyserious: since when was this guy romantic???

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@shanesfreckles: sir??? you’re posting something unrelated to hockey and non-brand related content??? #newyearnewHollander 

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Ilya Rozanov ✅ @irozanov81 

[photo of the TV with the movie When Harry Met Sally playing]

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@xxilyaxx: this guy was almost unalived four days ago and he’s here watching rom-coms

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LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

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@dancepuppet

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Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer 

Best All-Stars Weekend, I think.

[photo of him in front of the mirror in his hotel room with the Anaheim skyline behind him. A chain with a ring on it is visible.]

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Ilya Rozanov ✅ @irozanov81 

All-Stars hotel has nice hot tubs 👍

[photo of him enjoying the hot tub, shirtless. A chain with a ring and cross on it is visible.]

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Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

computah enhance!

[a zoomed in side-by-side screenshot of the rings]

Wholesome Twin @shanesfreckles

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@ilyasnips: ok im not the only one who saw it whew!

Shane is a cutie pie @shaneyshimmeringsplendid

To the RPF shippers

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Scott Hunter ✅ @ScottHunter 

One of them just won in the fastest skater competition and the other is being a menace as usual.

[photo of Shane and Ilya sitting next to each other, zoomed in from across the rink. Shane is mid-roll of his eyes while Ilya is turned to him, mid-chirp.]

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Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

??? what is happening at ASW? Do we have eyes on the ground?

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@rex123: I’m here and just scratching my head. I’ve seen Hollander and Rozanov glued by the hip more than once. 

↳@seriouslyserious: 😱

↳↳@rex123: man idk but everywhere i turned those two are next to each other

Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

They said RPF has to stop. They forgot to take into account that these two bozos are captains of the damn ship. 

[photo that Scott just posted]

[Scott Hunter liked this tweet]

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@livlaughlove: ??? Sir come back what does this mean

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Cliff Marleau ✅ @cliffmarleau7 

Boiziau, Vaughn, and I out here just seeing whatever this is we’re seeing

[photo of Cliff, JJ, and Carter, wacky style and in selfie mode. They were inside a dimly lit bar.]

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@boiziau16: A quote from tonight “The butter was there for toast and not for you to slide around in!”

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@c_vaughny: Nah, it’s gotta be “You think I leave tap on on purpose? I’m only a millionaire, not Scrooge McDuck!”

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Shane is a cutie pie @shaneyshimmeringsplendid

A Raider, a Metro, and an Admiral in a club together?!

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

What was that quote from Boiziau and Vaughn? Who even said this?!

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@juliewuzhere: The fight sounded so domestic. Implies they’re living together.

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@jennothehero: I mean, it’s ASW right? So definitely players are there with their wives or gfs?

↳@boiziau16: Or bfs…

↳↳@jennothehero: What?!

↳↳↳@boiziau16: omg who said that?! 

ASDF G. HJKL the third @asdfghjklIII

Damn. Who else is gay in the MLH? Hunter is married now but Boiziau said “bf”?

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Cliff Marleau ✅ @cliffmarleau7 

Good view, I think.

[photo of him and Carter at breakfast, selfie mode. Cliff’s arms were slung across Carter’s shoulder who was giving a thumbs up to the camera]

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@boiziau16: I turned around last night and you two were gone! And now you’re having breakfast without asking me???

↳@cliffmarleau7: oh my gooooood you were busy with ms bartender last night leave us alone 😩

↳↳@boiziau16: look, ami, i expect to be at least a groomsman if you guys get married ‘cos i was there from the start!

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@irozanov81: oh you have new best friend now?

↳@cliffmarleau7: you replaced me with Hollander! I have to go find love somehow……

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Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

wtf is going on at anaheim

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Wyatt Hayes ✅ @WyattHayes 

Shout out to the pancake maker who made this custom Spider-Man pancakes for me!

[photo of said pancakes, slightly seen in front were two pairs of arms]

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@shanehollanderhockeyplayer: Why am I surrounded by athletes who disregard their meal plans? 😩

↳@irozanov81: is ASW, Hollander! Have some fun! 

↳↳@shanehollanderhockeyplayer: 🧍

↳↳↳@WyattHayes: Go away, you two. Let me eat in peace 🫩

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Chloe Bates 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @chloeloeloe

I’m attempting to decipher this ASW madness especially with regards to Hollander and Rozanov. Wish me luck lol:

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@chloeloeloe: 1. Friday morning: Shane Hollander posts (non-hockey or non-brand related!!!) about how this is the best ASW so far. Includes a selfie from him showing a necklace with a ring on it. Notable because a selfie is rare from Shane and the guy notoriously does not wear jewelry which then got everyone wondering: what is going on? Some even believe that the ring is an engagement ring. A screenshot of a ring that’s arguably close to what Shane has was found in a Bulgari website under the Engagement & Wedding category.

[screenshots of Shane’s post and the supposed Bulgari ring]

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@chloeloeloe: 2. Friday (a few minutes later): Ilya Rozanov posts a selfie of him in a hot tub. Notable because he is shirtless (which is always a welcome sight 😀) and his necklace only used to have the cross. Now it has a ring. Eagle-eyed posters note that the ring looks very similar, if not the same, to the one Shane has.

[screenshots of Ilya’s post and then another of his necklace next to Shane’s, both zoomed in on the rings]

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@chloeloeloe: 3. So why are these getting attention outside of the usual? Because a portion of the internet has been shipping Hollander and Rozanov since they started. Something about the rivalry being an enemies-to-lovers type of situation. Gained a bit of momentum a couple years back when the two were in the same team for ASW for the first time ever and a cheek/helmet kiss was seen from Rozanov. Gossip about the two having an intense discussion before the game also made the rounds but were unsubstantiated. Then, the whole thing gained more momentum when Rozanov signed with Ottawa, further adding to the discourse (mostly ignored because hockey spaces would like to focus on hockey and nothing else). 

[screenshots of different Hollanov shipper accounts talking about the above from previous years]

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@chloeloeloe: 4. Friday afternoon: Scott Hunter posts a photo of Hollander and Rozanov together. Not unusual since the two are friends and founders of the Irina Foundation. What’s unusual is the two being seen “glued by the hip” for pretty much this ASW. Hunter also liked a tweet talking about how Rozanov and Hollander are captains of their own RPF ship. 

[screenshots of the photo Scott took, the posts about seeing them together, and the tweet Scott liked]

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@chloeloeloe: 5. Friday evening: Marleau (BOS), Boiziau (MTL), and Vaughn (NYC) were out in a bar across who are most likely a couple. Quotes from the night indicate arguments that seem too couple-y according to netizens. Because it’s ASW, players would usually come with their family, hence some thinking the couple across the three were a hockey player and his wife or girlfriend. Boiziau chimes heavily implying that it’s a hockey player with a boyfriend.

[screenshots of Cliff’s posts and the exchange between Boiziau and a twitter user]

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@chloeloeloe: 6. Saturday morning: Hayes, Ottawa’s goalie, posts about his Spider-Man pancake. Under his post, Rozanov and Hollander exchanged banter. Hayes replies to them to leave him alone. Users have pointed out that in Hayes’ photo, there are two pairs of arms in front of him. Those who have been following them closely have noted that the arms look like Hollander’s and Rozanov’s although no irrefutable evidence could be produced. 

[screenshots of Wyatt’s post, the comments from Shane and Ilya, and other posts speculating about whose arms those are]

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@chloeloeloe: 7. So that’s it for now. Surely, more people will be tuned in to the game tonight and social media will be active about it. Keeping an eye out for whatever is going on. Later!

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Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer 

Morning, Anaheim. 

[photo of the Anaheim skyline from his position in the bed. While the skyline is very much the focus, the foreground shows a lump from under the duvet. No other signs or hints as to whether this is a person or just a mussed up bed]

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Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

🤨🤨🤨

Shane is a cutie pie @shaneyshimmeringsplendid

I never thought I’d see the day Shane Hollander, golden boy of hockey, is soft launching a relationship.

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@hockeygurlz: I mean…I always kinda thought the guy would marry hockey if he could.

↳↳@hollanovbaby: Well, according to some people on the internet, Shane may very well be in a relationship with hockey.

↳↳↳@shaneyshimmeringsplendid: oh my god. so many delusional people around!

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Ilya Rozanov ✅ @irozanov81 

Tune in for tonight’s game! Watch me (and Hollander) beat Western team 👍

[photo of Ilya’s thumbs up, the background is an empty bed with the sheets similar to what Shane posted earlier.]

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@cliffmarleau7: Roz this is a team effort! 🫩

↳@irozanov81: leave me alone and hang out with your new bf(f) @c_vaughny 

↳↳@c_vaughny: 😏

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Sh*tposting my way through life @OTTeroos

Hello????

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Chloe Bates 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @chloeloeloe

I’m attempting to decipher this ASW madness especially with regards to Hollander and Rozanov. Wish me luck lol (pt 2):

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@chloeloeloe: 8. Saturday morning: Hollander posted the Anaheim skyline but (some argue) another pair of limbs can be seen under the blanket by the foreground. Some think it’s just the way beds are like if unmade. 

[screenshots of Shane’s post and the comments arguing what that weird lump is]

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@chloeloeloe: 9. A few minutes later: Rozanov posted a made bed. Some think it’s the same bed Hollander has but some, rightfully, argue that they’re in a hotel and sheets will look the same. 

[screenshots of Ilya’s post and the comments arguing what that weird lump is]

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@chloeloeloe: guys is2g if this is all just a bunch of nothing 🫩

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Anna Diaz @annadiaz11

been a while since i watched all stars (tuned into hockey really) but uhhh ??? i thought these two are rivals???

[screenshot of All-Star Game after Shane just scored; Ilya was giving him a backhug as some form of celebration]

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@hollaonmyroza: oh did you see the first time they became teammates?

[photo of the 2017 All-Star Game cheek/helmet kiss]

↳@annadiaz11: and just like that i have a new hyperfixation

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@hollanovbaby:

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Chloe Bates 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @chloeloeloe

10. Saturday evening: A backhug celebration this time. 

[screenshot of All-Star Game after Shane just scored; Ilya was giving him a backhug as some form of celebration]

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Carter Vaughn ✅ @c_vaughny

See you in March 🥰

[photo of him hugging Cliff, taken in front of a mirror.]

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@ScottHunter: Bennett (Kyle actually) thinks you have a story to tell us so…..

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Cliff Marleau ✅ @cliffmarleau7 

May have left my heart in Anaheim 😩

[photo of his hands holding another’s]

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@conconconnors: Marley! Ahhhh! Drinks on me when you’re back so you can spill E V E R Y T H I N G

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@hammyandeggs: first Roz and now you….dear Lord when is it my turn??? 😔

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Sh*tposting my way through life @OTTeroos

is…is no one else seeing what im seeing??? am i going crazy here???????

February 2021

Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer 

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone 🙂

[photo of an expensive-looking fine dining restaurant. On the foreground is a bouquet of flowers, only the top part seen, resting on the table. Barely seen in the background is an arm in a dark blue long-sleeved dress shirt. The lighting and angle made it impossible to tell any other characteristics.

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Shane is a cutie pie @shaneyshimmeringsplendid

Pause. Hollander greeted US with a happy valentine’s day? 

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@thirstingfor24: Yeah I’m speechless. He doesn’t do that???

Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

peep the background 👀

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@hollanovnation: 

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

Is Hollander on a date???????????

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@shaneshine24: bruh it’s like he’s soft launching his relationship? The possibility that he’s in one is what I’m most shocked with though ngl

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

looking at Hollander

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@seriouslyserious: (and then looking at Rozanov)

↳@hollanovbaby: yup.

ASDF G. HJKL the third @asdfghjklIII

why are the streets saying that’s Rozanov’s arm? What proof do we have?

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@2481forever: uhhhhh check out Roz’s post?

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Ilya Rozanov ✅ @irozanov81 

is day for lovers to go out today, yes?

[photo of him, in front of a mirror, in a silk dark blue long sleeve dress shirt and black pants. The ring and cross on his chain were prominent as the shirt’s top three buttons were undone]

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Chloe Bates 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @chloeloeloe

🤨🤨🤨

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@cami11o: aren’t you supposed to be factual?

↳@chloeloeloe: Supposedly…

Shane is a cutie pie @shaneyshimmeringsplendid

big deal! so many men have the same shirt!

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@RozHollz: so we agree that arm in Hollander’s photo is a man???

↳ @shaneyshimmeringsplendid: hey i never said i didn’t think it was! just that it’s a long shot it’s Rozanov’s

↳↳@RozHollz: i mean i’ll take it it fits my agenda

↳↳↳ @shaneyshimmeringsplendid: of course you have an agenda

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Cliff Marleau ✅ @cliffmarleau7 

🥰🥰🥰 

[photo of an expensive watch with a sappy love note. The note closed with ‘Thinking of you all the way from New York, C.V.’]

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@c_vaughny: 🤗glad you liked it! 🥰

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Carter Vaughn ✅ @c_vaughny

💕💕💕

[photo of an expensive men’s bracelet with an equally sappy love note. The note closed with ‘Counting down the days, C.M.’)

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@cliffmarleau7: 💞no doubt it would look so good on you 😍

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Sh*tposting my way through life @OTTeroos

Ahhh okay everyone is distracted with Hollanov (old news to me lmao). No wonder no one’s seeing what I’m seeing. Just going to enjoy the show by myself then 

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Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer 

I don’t know why I thought bringing @irozanov81 here is a good idea 🙄

[an IG story of Ilya in a grey shirt, dark jacket, jeans, and a hat. He’s mid-talk while his arms are a blur suggesting he’s gesturing wildly at whatever is behind him…which were dinosaur displays.]

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Ilya Rozanov ✅ @irozanov81 

If I wanted to see @ScottHunter I would go to New York 😤

[repost of Shane’s IG story]

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @irozanov81 

Hi @ScottHunter and @eric_bennett! 😀

[an IG story of two dinosaur replicas]

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Scott Hunter ✅ @ScottHunter 

Your obsession is getting out of hand…

[repost of Ilya’s latest IG story]

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Eric Bennett ✅ @eric_bennett 

24% off on our classic Old Fashioned cocktail @KingfisherNYC. Tonight only ;) - Kyle

[repost of Ilya’s latest IG story]

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Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

So Shane was on a date last night and then was with Rozanov this morning??? In a museum???

OH I’M SURE

ASDF G. HJKL the third @asdfghjklIII

Man what

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

24%???

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Chloe Bates 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @chloeloeloe

I guess this is not just the ASW vibes now???

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@chloeloeloe: 11. Valentine’s Day dinner: Hollander posted a photo of him on what looks like a date with an arm in a dark long-sleeved shirt somewhat visible. It is noted that it’s impossible to tell who exactly that arm belongs to but some have pinpointed Rozanov’s outfit that same night. Rozanov implied he’s also out on a date for Valentine’s Day.

[screenshots of Shane’s and Ilya’s Valentine’s Day posts plus a mixture of other users’ thoughts on #shirtgate]

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@chloeloeloe: 12. Feb 15 morning: Hollander posted an IG story of him at the Canadian Museum of Nature with Rozanov who, in turn, made fun of Hunter (NYC) and Bennett (ret. NYC) due to the whole dinosaur of it all. Hunter chirped back. Kyle, Bennett’s boyfriend and posting on his behalf, announced a 24% discount on their Old Fashioned cocktail at their bar.

[screenshots of Shane’s museum photo, Ilya’s chirp to Scott and Eric, Scott’s response, and Kyle, via Eric’s account, announcing the 24% discount]

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@chloeloeloe: (which could mean nothing 👀)

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Merry Go-Rondo @merrygorounddd

man idk us Ottawans just keep our mouths shut 

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@peachtartgoodness: mm hmm the amount of times i’ve seen certain people you wouldn’t think actually do hang out (or more) over the years…i just mind my business 🤷

Sheila Marie @sheilasellsseashellsbytheseashore

and when i tell people i have seen IR buy tons of ginger ale??? multiple times??? since he moved to OTT??? and whoooo loves ginger ale??? that’s right.

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@merrygorounddd: loool pls people would freak out with how often i see those two jog in the mornings together every summer and SH always magically produces a granola bar for IR…even feeding him sometimes 😩

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@peachtartgoodness: ah one time during the 2018 season i ran into SH at a pharmacy late at night in ottawa. dude’s got a bagful of medicine and was in a rush. i had to think long and hard if that really was him cos i literally saw him play a home game in Montreal four hours before that.

Annie B. Oss @abossinBOS

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@abossinBOS: this reminded me of something!!! I ran into IR at a grocery store in Boston…late 2016? I forgot exactly when. Anyway, he had like cans and cans and cans of ginger ale and a few other items in his basket. idk what it was for but omg now it’s becoming clear to me

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@cami11o: r u saying theyre a thing since 2016? but 🌹???

↳@abossinBOS: oh man idk but i saw a few tweets talking about IR, SH, and ginger ale and… 🤷

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

checked stuff and uhhhhhh since when did Rozanov’s nearest and dearest follow Hollander??? and vice versa???

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@hockeygurlz: Marleau, Pike, and Boiziau coach at the camps? So maybe then?

↳@seriouslyserious: No I’m talking about Svetlana Vetrova, Roz’s childhood friend? And then Rose Landry, Hollander’s ex and who has said many times that he’s her bff? Hollander’s parents??? Those who are/were in Raiders with Roz? THE REST OF THE OTTAWA CENTAURS?!?!

↳↳@hockeygurlz:

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@hollanovnation: what...what is a straight explanation for this

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@rozrozroz81: 

↳@seriouslyserious: leave me aloooone im sick and cant even get up from my bed……..

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@shaneshine24: my mom’s right. it’s these damn phones

Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

why am i seeing people from Ottawa bragging about minding their business? DO YOU SEE HOW IRONIC THIS IS

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@hollaatyourander: the subtweeting and the shading gotta stop 

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@mildred: oh yeah i saw those and it’s doing the exact opposite of whatever they wanted to happen lmaoooo

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LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

HOLY SHIT BARRETT IS OUT!

[screengrab of Troy’s coming out video]

Sticking by this team @CensCensCens

OMG OMG WE CAN GET THE CUP!!!

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@mikesports: how did you even get to that conclusion???

↳@CensCensCens: Hunter is gay, Admiral gets a cup in 2017 👉Barrett is gay, …?

↳↳@mikesports: lol by your logic, it has to be the captain that should come out as gay

↳↳↳@CensCensCens: Well I have also been chronically online so like…if rumours are to be believed…….

↳↳↳↳@mikesports: WAIT okay i don’t want to fuel whatever delusion you have but the Admirals have a gay captain and a bisexual (former-but-active-during-their-cups) goalie. Now that Ottawa has a gay player, then we might need a bisexual captain to appease the hockey gods. UGH I HATE MYSELF WHY AM I ENTERTAINING YOU

↳↳↳↳↳@CensCensCens:

Been giving and now I get to receive @cens12345

Getting my Barrett jersey and many many many gay colours and flags out for the Cens’ Pride Night!

Sam Mitchell @sammyhockey

ugh these homosexuels being All over Hockey! not the men’s sport I knowW!

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@rex123: Hello 911? Yeah an old person who appears to be confused is seen wandering the Internet. Yeah, can you pick him up? We’re at No One Cares Street corner of Fuck You Homophobe Avenue 🖕

March 2021

Carter Vaughn ✅ @c_vaughny

New York’s here to take out Boston 💪

[photo of Carter in his practice jersey, standing on ice, tongue out, while leaning on his stick.]

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@cliffmarleau7: Disappointing to travel all the way here so you guys can lose 😤

↳@c_vaughny: It’s okay. I’ll take you out later as consolation 😏

↳↳@cliffmarleau7: Oh I think I’m the one doing the consoling later 🫦

↳↳↳@conconconnors: lmaoooo you guys are making @hammyandeggs envious

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Cliff Marleau ✅ @cliffmarleau7 

Finally 😍

[photo of Cliff and Carter out for dinner. Carter is smiling widely as his arms slung across Cliff’s shoulders. Cliff, meanwhile, slouched on his chair so he can fully lean on Carter’s chest. His head is turned towards the latter’s neck, planting a soft kiss.]

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@boiziau16: ahhh! you guys are so cute together 💏

*******

Sh*tposting my way through life @OTTeroos

Huh, long distance must suck. Glad they can see each other. #rootingforVarley  

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Zane Boodram ✅ @boodram

I mean the rivalry is definitely alive and well…

[video of Ilya and Shane arm wrestling. The two were straining. Hoots and hollers can be heard around, implying the rest of the Centaurs were in Bood’s backyard. The Cens who could be seen in the video were either holding beers or a plate, showing this was one of Bood’s regular BBQs.]

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@mildred: Who won?

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@boodram: Hollander. He’s the best for a reason 🤷

↳@irozanov81: This is reminder that I’m your captain 😑 Also Hollander distracted me

↳↳@shanehollanderhockeyplayer: Well. Looks like Ottawa’s AC has more sense than the C 🙂 Also I didn’t distract you; I merely pointed out that Chiron has arrived.

↳↳↳@irozanov81: and you know Chiron will distract me 🙄

↳↳↳↳@shanehollanderhockeyplayer: What was that one of your rookies said? Skill issue?

↳↳↳↳↳@irozanov81: 

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Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

OH MY GOD THEY ARE FLIRTING UNDER BOODRAM’S POST

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@JayWalz: uuughh they’re not flirting!!! just two bros talking to each other is2g

↳@hollaatyourander: just say you have never flirted with someone and go

↳↳@JayWalz: that’s how i talk to my friends!!!

↳↳↳@hollaatyourander: oh buddy…

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

Guys they are totally two straight hockey boys who are friends! Real men dominate hockey!

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@livlaughlove: is what I would have said if I was a loser.

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@h0llan0visr3al:

Sticking by this team @CensCensCens

Shane with the Cens? He’s also a free agent at the end of the season right??? 👀👀👀

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@sixthCens:

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@cens12345: well don't jinx it!

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Harris Drover @h.drover

Introducing our newest rescue pup! 🐕🐶🦴🩵✨

[photo of a two month old puppy staring past the camera]

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@h.drover: Anyone who would like to enquire about fostering or adopting, please drop me a message and I’ll try my best to answer you ASAP 😀

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@irozanov81: ??? and you didn’t contact me first?

↳@h.drover: OMG you’re so dramatic! I didn’t know you’d want a dog of your own.

↳↳@irozanov81: i feel like anyone who’s met me will describe me as: hot, sexy, and loves dogs in that order.

↳↳↳@h.drover: ok well you guys can come over this weekend and meet her!

↳↳↳↳@irozanov81: i’ve decided…her name is Anya.

↳↳↳↳↳@h.drover:

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Anna Diaz @annadiaz11

I fear I’m grasping at straws but… “you guys?” who else will be there to meet the puppy?

[screenshot of Harris’ comment]

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@cens12345: …The Cens?

↳@annadiaz11: nah, the context isn’t there. Only Roz was in his comments and not all? So he won’t necessarily drag them in the conversation?

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@mildred: I think…we need to step away from our phones and touch some grass.

↳@annadiaz11: ykw??? valid. 

*******

Harris Drover @h.drover

Newest rescue pup meets two GOATs 🐕🐐

[photo of Ilya hugging Anya. Shane is next to them, petting Anya’s head. Anya’s head leaned on Ilya’s shoulder but she was also looking at Shane. Her tail is a blur, indicating it’s wagging wildly.]

*******

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @irozanov81 

Meet Anya! 🐶🤩❤️

[Photo of the puppy in Ilya’s arms. The biceps are prominent and delectable.]

*******

Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer 

[IG story of him carrying Anya taken from behind. The sun was behind them and the silhouette of curly hairs can be seen in the photo as well, making the viewers sure of who took the photo.]

*******

Anna Diaz @annadiaz11

Haaaaa so can we all go back to my “you guys” tweet??? And admit I am right??????? 

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@mildred: i mean…even a broken clock is right at least twice a day 🤷

↳@annadiaz11: drop your addy and let’s talk 😠

↳↳@hockeygetinme: omg this so unnecessary. are you okay???

↳↳↳@mildred: lmaooo it’s fine she’s my sister. she’s literally in her room next to mine

↳↳↳↳@hockeygetinme: ah

*******

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

Did they just adopt a dog???

Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

Oh nothing to see here. Just two top hockey athletes who are rivals (turned friends???) who have somehow adopted a dog. Yup. Nothing at all.

|

@hollaatyourander:

*******

Chloe Bates 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @chloeloeloe

Sorry everyone! Got busy with life plus a long-ish vacation to the motherland! Here are some updates:

|

@chloeloeloe: 13. Ottawans claim they have seen certain people hang out over the years but have never publicised it. The certain people are ones the public will not necessarily associate with each other and were not named in the posts but context clues lead others to think it’s Hollander and Rozanov.

|

@chloeloeloe: 14. Users report that Hollander’s and Rozanov’s close family and friends follow the other on social media.

|

@chloeloeloe: 15. Boodram (OTT - A) hosted a bbq (note: this is a regular occurrence for the Cens) where Hollander is in attendance. Hollander and Rozanov engaged in an arm wrestling match where Hollander won.

|

@chloeloeloe: 16. Cens’ social media manager (who also fosters and rescues stray dogs), Harris Drover, posted a photo of a newly rescued pup. Rozanov immediately jumped on his comments to at the very least see the pup. Harris then comments “ok well you guys can come over”. A few users pointed out that this is a weird turn of phrase but most just shrugged at it.

|

@chloeloeloe: 17. This morning, Harris posted a photo of the pup, Anya, with Hollander and Rozanov. This was then followed by the two posting their own photos of Anya. And well…listen. Even I, one who promised to be neutral and simply report, found the photos to be uhmmm more intimate than you would for ‘friends’.

Pearl believes in Hollanov @hollanovsupremacy

ok well im manifesting

[edited screenshot of ….’s tweet #15 but the rest of the words are scribbled away leaving only the phrase “Hollander and Rozanov engaged”]

|

@hollanovbaby: 

*********

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @irozanov81 

[video taken from a low angle as if the videographer is lying down. Shane is in front of the camera in a hoodie and sweats, looking relaxed. He’s carrying Anya who was relaxed but wagging her tail. 

“I adopted you and took you in but you go to Shane?!” 

Anya briefly looked at Ilya but then snuggled in further on Shane’s chest. Shane laughed.]

*******

Shane is a cutie pie @shaneyshimmeringsplendid

I too would like to cuddle with Hollander 🤤🤤🤤

Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

YOUR HONOUR. W H A T?!

Pearl believes in Hollanov @hollanovsupremacy

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

lmao ok like are those two living together???

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

Now is as good a time as ever to bring up this magazine feature of Cary Grant and Randolph Scott 🤪

[screenshot of an old magazine article showing the Golden Age of Hollywood actors showing off their shared Santa Monica home]

|

@hollanovnation: whaaat i totally do not see the parallel at all 🤪

#24 has bewitched me body and soul @hollzy4hallzy

listen: do i want to experience shane hollander? yes. do i also want to experience ilya rozanov? yes. do i now imagine those two vividly experiencing each other? HECK YEAH.

I do not know Louisa May Alcott @BethMarch

Hi! 🙋

Yes, I have a question. 

So like…have those two always been so homoerotic???

|

@shaneshine24: lmaooo the corners of tumblr i have seen in the past decade 😆

rawr means i love you in dinosaur (˶>⩊<˶) @asdfghjkl12345678

my yaoi days are so back

Chloe Bates 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @chloeloeloe

lord give me strength because those two are not making it easy to be unbiased 🙃

*******

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @irozanov81 

Upside: I get to see her 👍

Downside: too many questions 👎

[photo of Svetlana, looking over her shoulder, eyes closed but smiling widely]

|

@svetlana: god forbid a girl needs details 😒

*******

Greatest Love Machine 81 @rahrahrozanov

👀 is Roz hard launching or what???

Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

Hollanovers we are so down today 🥹🥹🥹

Rozy’s girl @Rozy818181

Sources say she’s Roz’s childhood friend…or more

Not Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter @applemartini

Roz or his friend? I mean…

Elliott @eli2312012

Bruh see! Rozanov’s not gay!!!

|

@ilyasnips: This statement is biphobic.

↳@eli2312012: but you’re here implying that Rozanov is bi? who are you to push a label on someone???

↳↳@ilyasnips: man you’re so tiring

❌Stay away if you do RPF❌ @rozrozroz81

Goodbye Hollanovs! So long!!!

Shayden Scout #2435 @shaydenpls

Here’s how Shayden can still be up

|

@hollanovnation: Oh my gooooood you guys are still alive???

*******

Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer

Somebody’s in town :)

[photo of Rose, face-level, arms crossed in front of her chest. She’s looking up to the side while giving a playful “duckface”.]

|

@roselandry: Miss you shaneyberry ♥️

*******

Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

You’re laughing. My ship is sinking and you’re laughing.

Anaya’s in her Landry era @RoseeeLandryyy

Hollandry we are so up!!!

Shane is a cutie pie @shaneyshimmeringsplendid

Are my parents back together 🥹🥹🥹

*******

TMZ ✅ @TMZ 

Hockey captains Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander seen walking dog Anya in Ottawa suburbs, sparking dating rumors. The two were last seen on dates with women: Rozanov with his childhood friend and Hollander with his ex, Rose Landry.

[photo 1: Shane and Ilya walking in a non-descript neighbourhood. Ilya was holding Anya’s leash while smiling at whatever Shane was saying. 

photo 2: Ilya looking somewhere else while Anya does her business, unseen from the camera.

photo 3: Shane holding two water bottles in one hand while on the phone.]

|

@shaneshine24: 

|

@RoseLandryFanClub: Hollander’s ex??? 🤨 That’s Oscar-nominee, BAFTAS Best Actress in a Supporting Role, and 2x Golden Globes Best Actress, Rose Landry to you!!!

|

@lola000: who are these two people even???

↳@hotsingleinyourarea: idk but they’re hot. now kiss.

Sam Mitchell @sammyhockey

Get This Gay Shit Out Of f Hockkey!

|

@rex123: NURSE HE IS OUT AGAIN!!! yes this time he’s at Bitches Be Bitchin’ Boulevard, past Shut The Fuck Up Street!

ASDF G. HJKL the third @asdfghjklIII

Now why the fuckkkk is TMZ all over this??? RPF was meant to be just in the chats fam 😭

Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

…but WE ARE SO UP!!!

Pearl believes in Hollanov @hollanovsupremacy

To the doubters and non-believers

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

OKAY but the hands??? How big are they Mr Hollander sir???

[photo of Shane holding two water bottles in one hand]

Jay Walz @JayWalz

idk why you’re all going crazy here. it doesn’t even look anything else apart from two friends walking???

|

@hollaatyourander: ok do you give heart eyes to anyone you talk to or???

[zoomed in photo of Ilya smiling at Shane]

↳↳@JayWalz: i mean when my best friend talks to me??? duh???

↳↳↳@hollaatyourander: B U D D Y

↳↳↳↳@JayWalz: what???

*******

Jackie’s Husband ✅ @HaydenPike35 

Great, now my kids are gonna double down on asking for a dog.

[photo of the Pike kids, faces hidden, rolling on the grass playing with Anya]

|

@irozanov81: Just give them their own dog, Pike.

↳@HaydenPike35: and get Jackie to kill me? Nope.

↳↳@shanehollanderhockeyplayer: Give them a dog, Hayden.

↳↳↳@HaydenPike35: stop ganging up on me 😩

*******

Shane said hi to me that one time @hollaatyourander

Now why is Hayden Pike in this???

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

I’ve already been accused of having nothing better to do before so you know what? I’m gonna do that even harder. Here’s an analysis of MLH players who have liked Shane’s and Ilya’s posts since January. Notice who’s there? Notice who’s not?

[link to a file]

|

@shaneshine24: The stats are wild. The Cens are here, some of the Raiders, New York, each team pretty much got a good percentage of reps but…

|

@mildred: You’re crazy but this is damning. Apart from JJ and Hayden, not one single Metro has been interacting with Shane???

↳@seriouslyserious: oh this goes deeper: check out the games since January. Unless absolutely necessary, they won’t pass at all to Hollander. It’s cost them a few games so far.

↳↳@mildred: Or are the metros just having a rough year?

↳↳↳@seriouslyserious: Nah. Check out the game against Winnipeg back in late February. Metros won 2-1 but this could have easily been 2-0 or 3-1 had Gagnon passed to Hollander, who was wide open by the way, instead of passing to Favreau who was being dogged by both Fonzi and Jameson the whole first period. 

↳↳↳↳@mildred: Damn. You’re going to make me fall into a rabbit hole.

↳↳↳↳↳@hockeygurlz: Why go to Winnipeg all the way back in late February when you can check out their game against New Jersey just last week when the Metros lost 3-1. Twice Comeau could have passed to Hollander even the announcers commented on it. He instead tried to bring it all the way but got knocked by Simonsen first and then missed the goal by a mile the second time. Hollander was right there both times. Stupid.

↳↳↳↳↳↳@hollaatyourander: Stupid alright, us fans in the stands booed him so loud. I swear to god if they’re being like this just because of a few rumours, heads will roll.

Mia wants to play hockey @getthepuck

Saw a comment about the Metros possibly not passing to Hollander unless necessary since January and it might all be because of rumours about his sexuality and possible relationship with Rozanov. Well first of all, I can’t believe that a bunch of professional hockey players who get paid a minimum of 900k AAV would let a rumour affect how they play. Get your shit together and play well. 

|

@getthepuck: Second, who the fuck cares if Hollander is not straight??? That’s still Shane motherfucking Hollander. He is a free agent at the end of this season and I can speak for the rest of the Metros fans when I say WE ARE STRESSED that he hasn’t re-signed yet! If this is causing Hollander to think of leaving and another team gets him at the end??? I can’t stress enough how much red Montreal’s streets will be if this happens.

|

@getthepuck: Lastly, SO THE FUCK WHAT if he’s with Rozanov??? IT IS 2021!!! WHO CARES IF HOLLANDER IS WITH A MAN??? LET PEOPLE LOVE WHO THEY WANT TO LOVE!

|

@getthepuck: Again, and say it with me, that’s still SHANE MOTHERFUCKING HOLLANDER!!! He enters free agency this season and if he continues to be treated like shit within the Metros AND he’s with Rozanov??? Who, by all accounts, is well loved by his team and the whole of Ottawa that they’re very welcoming to the idea of their cap being happy no matter who he is with??? GUESS WHERE HOLLANDER WILL GO! 

|

@getthepuck: Even if you don’t care for homosexuality (which is a whole other stink eye from me to you), I NEED YOU TO THINK: DO YOU WANT ROZANOV AND HOLLANDER IN ONE TEAM??? FOR FUCKING OTTAWA TO SWEEP FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE AND NO CUPS FOR ANYONE ELSE??? GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER METROS!

Just a girl standing in front of the rink shouting GET IT IN THE NET @hockeylovergirl

Oh my god. This and all this!!!

(QT of @getthepuck: Saw a comment about the Metros possibly not passing to Hollander unless necessary since January and it might all be because of rumours…)

Montreal Fanboy Certified | Unless Thierault and Pelletier leave @montycarlo 

Somebody knock some sense to these players is2g

(QT of @getthepuck: Saw a comment about the Metros possibly not passing to Hollander unless necessary since January and it might all be because of rumours…)

#24onsweepingduty @MTLgirlie

The Metros will be the butt of all jokes if this happens. Something something golden goose

(QT of @getthepuck: Saw a comment about the Metros possibly not passing to Hollander unless necessary since January and it might all be because of rumours…)

Hockey on 3! @hockeypucks123

The way I’m actually worried, I went and bought Cens merch jic 🥴

Very Normal Hockey Fan @hockeygetinme

Hello @MetrosGM @CoachThierault??? Get that locker room in order

|

@montreal4ever: I’m screamingggg what do you mean there’s a possibility that Shane will not re-sign with the Metros because of this??? IT IS NOT EVEN CONFIRMED OH MY GOOOOOOOODDDDDDD

Dose of Vitamin #24 @shanehollandershoe

Shane got us three cups. He can do whatever he wants man

|

@hollanovnation: oh i mean he definitely wants a man. a certain man.

↳@shanehollandershoe: 

Metros Till I Die | Currently questioning Metros decisions @metroooosss

I’d volunteer to be Hollander’s sex slave as long as we get more cups 😩

|

@hollaatyourander: crazy thing to say online tbh

*******

All About Sports Gossip! @SportsMoi 

Sports blind item for the week: Buzz around these hockey players is getting too hot to handle. Insiders also say whatever rumours there are is true!

*******

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

I don’t want to engage but oh my god the blind item??? what???

|

@mildred: well so much for not engaging 

Sam Mitchell @sammyhockey

KEEP GAY OUT OF HOCKEY

|

@rex123: holy shit man you’re not in it so i think we’ve been successful

↳@sammyhockey: shut up you fag

↳↳@rex123: wow what a comeback. have definitely not been called that before.

Anna Diaz @annadiaz11

mmm Rozanov 🤤 mmm Hollander 🤤 mmm Rozanov and Hollander 🤤

|

@juliewuzhere: …i mean i get it

*******

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

Watching the OTT vs SJ game and the jumbotron is showing some Hollanov signs made by fans of both teams looool

photo 1: 

photo 2

|

@scienceandsports: Oh I’m here too! They also showed Roz looking up at the Jumbotron and dude’s smiling like an idiot. A lovesick idiot.

|

@hockeygetinme: The whole OTT bench just started ribbing and shoving Roz lmaooo

↳@seriouslyserious: San Jose’s also having so much fun with this!!! amazing crowd tonight and it’s like all teenage boys teasing their buddy with his crush 😆

↳↳@hockeygetinme: ugh I love when everyone’s having fun and playing good hockey

↳↳↳@hockeygurlz: The way Metros fans are liking this. Oh I know those guys are tired.

Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

Okay but the post-game interview?

[screen recording from a phone of Roz being interviewed. He’s all sweaty and shirtless, the chains with the cross and ring were visible.

Interviewer: And finally, Rozanov, you’re playing against the Metros next week. Any word about what to expect from a game against your boyfriend?

Rozanov: (shrugs) I score, he scores, I score more. Is always case with me and Hollander (winks)]

|

@hollanovnation: THE ASSHOLE JUST CONFIRMED IT??? NONCHALANTLY???

|

@shanehollanderhockeyplayer: 🙄 Somebody better tell him I’ll be scoring more.

↳@irozanov81: you can say but can you do it?

↳↳@shanehollanderhockeyplayer: [link to stats]

↳↳↳@irozanov81: 

| 

@hollanovsh00ter: everyone shut the fuck up the boyfriends are flirting under my post (ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod)

Maple Goodness @torontomanfan

ok but is anyone else a teensy worried that those two are throwing games for each other???

|

@rozycheeks: 

|

@ShaneandIlyasPRTeam4real: [link to a video compilation of every time Hollander and Rozanov faced off against each other from 2011 to 2020; some entertaining, some brutal; a bloodbath everytime.]

Shane said hi to me that one time @hollaatyourander

I’m Ilya Rozanov, I’m one of those generational hockey talents, I’m hot, I bagged Shane Hollander. Man fuck you.

[Ilya Rozanov liked this tweet]

Evil Twin @ilyasnips

It should’ve been me!!1 It should’ve been me!!! 

Mia wants to play hockey @getthepuck

godfuckingdamnit!!!

(QT of their own tweet: Lastly, SO THE FUCK WHAT if he’s with Rozanov???…)

Montreal Fanboy Certified | Unless Thierault and Pelletier leave @montycarlo 

Shane will re-sign with the metros prayer circle tap in!!!

|

@MTLgirlie: 

Sticking by this team @CensCensCens

I like that the biggest freakout here ISN’T that those two are together but that Hollander MIGHT just leave the Metros and go to Ottawa 😆

|

@hockeygirl24: no okay because we have started a vigil 

[photo of Montreal streets with candles on sidewalks and Shane’s player card in the middle]

|

@rahrahrozanov: i mean the hollanov truthers are out there going wild

Shane is a cutie pie @shaneyshimmeringsplendid

I do not want to be a sour grape but liiiiikeeeeeeee is the boyfriend declaration final? Like, we haven’t even seen them kiss.

|

@thirsty4roz: oh okay so you’re just a pervert?

Chloe Bates 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @chloeloeloe

|

@hockeygurlz: lmao thanks for trying to be objective about the whole thing though! truly appreciated twin ♥️

Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

Bruh these two are lovers whaaaaat

[photo of one of the many face offs between Shane and Ilya]

*******

All About Sports Gossip! @SportsMoi 

Read this week’s send-ins 👇

|

Anon follower send-in #1: Well not that the cat’s out of the bag: I live in Ottawa, near enough to where Rozanov supposedly lives, and I’ve definitely seen him and Hollander act very couple-y doing the most mundane chores, especially in recent months.

|

Anon follower send-in #2: Okay finally I can talk about this. Hollanov has been real for a while now. A close friend saw them makeout like crazy in a park (where they probs thought they were alone…fair ‘cos that was what 5 in the morning) when Roz just moved to Ottawa. 

*******

Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

If you guys thought the San Jose signs were funny, wait until you see the ones made tonight 🤣

photo 1: 

photo 2:

photo 3:

Chloe Bates 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @chloeloeloe

where’s the person who thought these two are throwing games against each other??? because Rozanov and Hollander are brutal against each other out there wtf

[screen recording 1: Shane checking Ilya against the boards to quickly then get the puck.]

[screen recording 2: Ilya stealing the puck despite Shane’s excellent stick handling and laughing as the latter almost cursed out loud.]

|

@CensCensCens: idk about others but i dont take it easy against my boyfriend in monopoly even with his big bottom eyes so imagine professional athletes?

↳@shaneshine24: haaaaa my gf once promised to fulfill one of my fantasies just so i dont collect rent from her and guess what??? i collected that rent!!!

↳↳@jennothehero: uhhhh you are your girlfriend’s landlord? That’s so unethical…

↳↳↳@shaneshine24: ??? we’re talking about monopoly???

↳↳↳↳@jennothehero: i mean how am i supposed to get that from your post???

↳↳↳↳↳@hollaatyourander: above comment talks about monopoly. another commenter replied about sth to do with the game. INFERENCING IS A VITAL READING COMPREHENSION SKILL!!!

↳↳↳↳↳↳@CensCensCens: oh dear lord this is like the piss poor reading joke on tumblr

↳↳↳↳↳↳↳@shaneshine24: you piss on the poor???

Just a girl standing in front of the rink shouting GET IT IN THE NET @hockeylovergirl

FUCKING COMEAU YOUR FUGLY BUTT COST US A WIN TONIGHT COS YOU WONT PASS TO HOLLANDER!!! 

Montreal Fanboy Certified | Unless Thierault and Pelletier leave @montycarlo 

on my knees begging for the Metros TO BE FUCKING NORMAL

Mia wants to play hockey @getthepuck

Favreau’s also on thin fucking ice. WHAT WAS THAT HORRIBLE PASS TO TAYLOR??? Hollander was wide open NEXT TO YOU!

Shane said hi to me that one time @hollaatyourander

i s2g homophobes have no place in Montreal. And this is not just about hockey. #HomophobesOutofMontreal

*******

TMZ ✅ @TMZ 

Boyfriends! Rival hockey captains spotted out after Montreal’s loss in Ottawa tonight.

[Pap pics of Ilya and Shane on the streets of Ottawa. The photos were grainy due to the low lighting.]

Photo 1: Shane standing behind Ilya, with his hands on the other man’s shoulders. Ilya was bending down slightly.

Photo 2: Shane on Ilya’s back while the latter’s hands secured his boyfriend’s legs. The former extended one of his arms as if pointing to something.]

|

@hollanovnation: i mean…what else would boyfriends do???

|

@shaneshine24: on a date??? likely place for boyfriends to be

|

@mildred: Slow news day huh

|

@Rozy818181: what exactly is groundbreaking about this???

Sticking by this team @CensCensCens

guys it’s only been a week and a day since Shane and Ilya confirmed their relationship and I feel like I’ve lived a hundred lives since then.

|

@hockeygurlz: girl i feel like we shouldn’t take notes from you ‘cos you did give birth the day after that interview???

|

@CensCensCens: this isn’t about my newborn!!!

Not that Naomi @naomicampbell7

no no no but @CensCensCens is right? i love that we are glossing over how groundbreaking this relationship reveal is??? like who went and made it look as if this is just a fact now?

|

@BethMarch: it’s actually very fascinating from a PR POV. I think it also helps that Hollander and Rozanov are well-loved by a good chunk of hockey fanbases, especially their home team.

↳@naomicampbell7: right? because how is this not bigger news? And I’m surprised there isn't much backlash? Not that I’m hoping for one, just surprised there’s minimal and very quickly quashed. The MLH is very quiet, too.

↳↳@BethMarch: lbfr those two make the MLH very good money and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future – why do anything with their golden geese?

↳↳↳↳@naomicampbell7: True. Every Ottawa and Montreal game now are fully packed (MTL always yes but OTT’s audience grew recently) and I know people irl who went to check out hockey just because of the Hollanov of it all.

↳↳↳↳↳@BethMarch: sources do say that the Cens has put the pressure on the MLH regarding this. I don’t know what kind though, just that it’s obviously in favour of Roz.

↳↳↳↳↳@naomicampbell7: Cens huh? And the Metros?

↳↳↳↳↳↳@BethMarch: 🤐

Julie in your area @Blink4evrr

other rpf shippers watching hollanov is confirmed real

|

@larrylover: 

|

@kookmin1301: stooooppp

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

I’m still stuck on the phrase ‘confirm their relationship’. Is it confirming anything if the interview tacked on the ‘boyfriend’ bit quite cheekily in the end and then Roz just…answered it? As if he was being asked the colour of the sky?

|

@applemartini: you know what? im actually glad it happened that way. goes a long way towards normalising same-sex relationships within the league. and maybe other sports too

↳@scienceandsports: men are always so behind 🥱come watch the pwhl and you get teammates-turned-lovers, rivals-turned-lovers, and, my most favourite: lovers-turned-rivals! All in one game 😀

↳↳@applemartini: i must know the lore

↳↳↳@scienceandsports: omg ok. what women’s sport would you like to be introduced to? i’ll add you to our gc!!!

Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

is no one going to address the rings??? 

|

@shaneshine24: what rings?

↳@24811434ever: these! 

[photos of Ilya’s and Shane’s Anaheim ASW back in January with the rings on chains visible.]

↳↳@shaneshine24: engaged???

↳↳↳@24811434ever: lol enGAYged you mean

↳↳↳↳@shaneshine24: I think Roz is bi? I don’t want to assume but I just remembered all the women he was papped with before 2017.

↳↳↳↳↳@24811434ever: ah my bad. i have no puns, i just hope if there’s an announcement, they use “Bi the way, we’re engayged.” if applicable @irozanov81 @shanehollanderhockeyplayer 🙏

↳↳↳↳↳↳@shaneshine24: not the tags 😂💀

*******

Sh*tposting my way through life @OTTeroos

you know what you are all glossing over? Marleau and Vaughn’s hard fucking launch since ASW

April 2021

Hockey News ✅ @hockeynews7 

It’s a playoff miracle! Wildcard Ottawa Centaurs beats EC top seed Toronto Maples in Round 1 of the playoffs! Watch the highlights: [Link] #MLHPlayoffs2021

|

@hollanovnation: QUEER LOVE FUELS US ALL!!!

|

@hockeygurlz: And that’s fucking karma for coddling rapist k3nt!!! 

|

@cens12345: CENS IN THE PLAYOFFS! CENS BEATING PROBLEMATIC TORONTO! RAAAAAHHHH

|

@solidCENs: CENS FANS WE ARE SO UP!!!

|

@CensCensCens: they laughed at me for still being a cens fan but i am now receiving the fruits of my labour

|

@ottawacitiCENs: let’s go all the way Cens!!!

|

@ottawadefender: CRYING SCREAMING THROWING UP

*******

Hockey News ✅ @hockeynews7 

And that’s the end of this season for the Montreal Metros! They have fallen in Round 1 of the playoffs against the Tampa Bay Thunders. Tampa gears up to take on Ottawa for Round 2. Read our analyst’s predictions: [Link] #MLHPlayoffs2021

#24onsweepingduty @MTLgirlie

Mia wants to play hockey @getthepuck

FUCK. 

THE.

METROS.

|

@getthepuck: except you Shane Hollander we love you

Shane said hi to me that one time @hollaatyourander

Shane Hollander, J.J. Boiziau, and Hayden Pike

🏒2481🏒 ily @shanehollanderdefender

ALL YOU GOTTA DO WAS PASS TO THE PERSON WHO CAN ACTUALLY MAKE THE NET AND YOU???????? DID NOT???????????

Rumi talks puck @hockeygurlz

do you guys (gender-neutral) think i’ll make bank if i get people to pay me to burn their non-hollander metros jerseys 🤔

Shane’s Freckles | Shane’s Abs | Shane’s Nips @thirstingfor24 

Shane is a cutie pie @shaneyshimmeringsplendid

last time we were this bad was when Hollander got that concussion…and you’re telling me the team didn’t put two and two together???? That if Shane isn’t in the team, you can say goodbye to the cup???? FUCK OUTTA HERE

Wholesome Twin @shanesfreckles

At this point it’s an open secret that the Metros aren’t standing by Hollander #MetrosCoachResign #MetrosGMResign

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@hollzy4hallzy: whether Hollander leaves or not these old bags need to go!!! 

CENs the beginning @solidCENs

lmaooo metros fans are so pissed. they’re calling for Thierault’s head. 

Admirals Fan | SKip kiss | MLH is gay now @bebop

broooo i just saw an effigy of their coach and gm being burned on tv 😭

|

@shaneshine24: i mean how easy is it to not piss off the most passionate hockey fans in the world???

↳ @bebop: lol the metros org finds this task hard to do apparently

Just a girl standing in front of the rink shouting GET IT IN THE NET @hockeylovergirl

CBC News ✅ @CBCNews 

Pandemonium spilled from Bell Centre onto the streets of downtown Montreal as the Metros lost in the first round of the playoffs. Sources say months of Hollander-Rozanov relationship speculations caused the current chaos. Link for more: [Link]

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@hollaatyourander: batshit insane to make it sound like the relationship is the problem when we all know it’s the abysmal performance from the Metros (except for the first liners) caused this

|

@mikesports: Hey CBC here’s a source: FUCK HOMOPHOBIA

|

@averagehockeyplayer: ahhh so this is how they’re running this eh? The Metros fans have made it very clear: We couldn’t care less about Hollanov – it’s the others’ and the org’s stinking attitude that caused all this!!!

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@hollanovnation: Are you a respectable news source or a gossip rag because what is this wording? 

*********

Hockey News ✅ @hockeynews7 

Washington advances to Round 2 of the playoffs as they cruised past Boston. Will they go up against the Admirals or the Cyclones? Read our analyst’s predictions here: [Link] #MLHPlayoffs2021

*******

Cliff Marleau ✅ @cliffmarleau7 

Ended the season earlier than planned but glad I could support #myman against Carolina 💪

[photo of Cliff seated next to Kip and other Admiral WAGs. He’s wearing Carter’s number. They’re all looking and smiling at the camera.]

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@hammyandeggs: my AC being a WAG before I could even get a girlfriend is not fair. Universe whyyyy

↳@conconconnors: you had a very nice girl but

↳↳@hammyandeggs: 🖕

↳↳↳@conconconnors: [photo of his girlfriend kissing him on the cheek]

*******

Sh*tposting my way through life @OTTeroos

Marleau in his WAG era is sending me!!! #rootingforVarley

*******

May 2021

All About Sports Gossip! @SportsMoi 

SPOTTED: Shane Hollander at the Ottawa vs Tampa game with his parents. Supporting the boyfriend?

[photo 1: Photo from across Shane and his parents. Yuna and Shane are talking while David is looking up and munching on his popcorn. All are wearing Ottawa jerseys with the C on the left.

photo 2: Photo behind the three, confirming that the jerseys they’re wearing are Rozanov’s.

photo 3: Ilya, back turned to the camera, is standing in front of where Shane is who was standing up to take a photo of him.

photo 4: Shane, mid-game, standing up to protest a ref call. The crowd around him were looking at him either in amusement or agreement.]

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@hollanovbaby: No, Hollander is not there to support his boyfriend. He’s there to support famous homophobe dickwad Lazenby 🙄 OF COURSE HE IS THERE TO SUPPORT ROZANOV WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING???

↳@SportsMoi:

|

@shaneshine24: i want to know if they had to buy those or did Hollander just take them from the closet? ik that man insisted that Roz gets a bit more than the necessary amount of uniforms

|

@annadiaz11: mmm Hollander wearing Rozanov’s jersey. mmm Hollander wearing Rozanov’s jersey…in bed 🤤🤤🤤

|

@hollaatyourander: lmaooooo Hollzy screaming at the refs as an audience member for that dumb call. Oh i know that man has been wanting to do it since he was a rookie.

|

@hollanovnation: why is the third photo giving kid’s first day at school or sth

*******

Vogue Magazine ✅ @voguemagazine 

The It Boy of Hockey makes wearing your partner’s jersey chic again! See more and other SAPs of different teams and from sports who followed suit: [Link] 

[photo of Shane in the Rozanov jersey. He’s on the stands, looking up and waving to the crowd as they go wild behind him. The official Centaurs social media page has been credited for the photo.]

|

@thirstingfor24: ouu Shane Hollander, you are and will always be the it boy of hockey <3

|

@hockeygirl24: a trendsetter! we know that’s right!

|

@shaneshine24: at three cups to his name? yeah he can do whatever (and whoever) he wants

*******

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @irozanov81 

[translated from Russian] Happy birthday to the one who has my heart 💖

[photo of Shane and Ilya in a dark room. The only light source were the lit candles on Shane’s birthday cake. Shane was holding and looking at it, as if he was getting ready to blow the flames, while Ilya was hugging Shane from the back with his head on the other’s shoulders. Both of their faces were illuminated by the candles.]

*******

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

oh god THE russian menace can be this sweet? 

Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

im crineeeee he really said hollander has his heart

ASDF G. HJKL the third @asdfghjklIII

my ex and i just broke up yesterday and this is what i see going online???

Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

Aww look at all those who greeted Shane 🥹

|

@hollaatyourander: yesss Shane’s parents, Ilya’s friends, Ilya’s current and former teammates, Pike, Boiziau, some Admirals, some of the SAPs……

↳@hollanovnation: the very very obvious snob from certain people and organisation is #noted

*******

Hockey News ✅ @hockeynews7 

Tampa clinches Eastern Conference Finals spot as Ottawa fell in nail-biting Game 7! Dive in as hockey analysts discuss who will face the Thunders: New York or Washington? [Link] #MLHPlayoffs2021

|

@ottawadefender: The Cens had such a good run this season 😭

|

@CensCensCens: I’m so emotional 🥹 my team my team my team!

|

@OttawayOttawill: Let’s get that Cup next year!!!

|

@cens12345: made all those players work for their money lmaoooo

*******

Ilya Rozanov ✅ @irozanov81 and Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer

Bi the way, we’re engayged.

[photo of Ilya and Shane smiling widely and staring at each other’s eyes adoringly. The rings, formerly on their chains, are on their ring fingers very visibly seen on camera.]

|

@irozanov81: Thanks to @24811434ever for caption

↳@24811434ever: Congratulations!! (also I am dead, this is me posting from beyond the grave.)

*******

Shane said hi to me that one time @hollaatyourander

🚨🚨🚨 HOLLANOV ARE ENGAGED!!!

Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

#HOLLANOVREAL #HOLLANOVENGAGED #HOLLANOVDYNASTY

Chances of Hollander going to Ottawa???

|

@mildred: This season tells us ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!!!!

|

@shaneshine24: Uh-oh you’re riling up the Metros fans. They’re still salty about how Hollander is treated and now it doesn’t seem like Hollander is staying.

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

ahhhhhh my babies (two grown men almost a decade older than me) are getting married!!!! 🥹🥹🥹

Evil Twin @ilyasnips

my emotional support hockey players are getting married! to each other!

Shane is a cutie pie @shaneyshimmeringsplendid

#noticing who is actually congratulating hollanov 👀👀👀

|

@hockeygurlz: oh yeah. bracing for Montreal fans escalation tbh

|

@hollanovsupremacy: like half the league is congratulating them except……..

↳@RozHollz: do you think it’s dawned on them that Hollanov may actually be in the same team next season? 🤔

↳↳@hollanovsupremacy:

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

WAIT those are the same rings we’ve been seeing on them since January right??? So they’ve been engaged since then??? 

|

@xxilyaxx: but this would mean they have been together before jan right? i mean, i dont see those two (hollander at least) going from bfs to fiancés in a short amount of time

↳@seriouslyserious: when would they even be together? im thinking when roz moved to ottawa and they got closer?

↳↳@xxilyaxx: well…when you put it that way, there’s still the question of why roz moved to ottawa. at the time, he said he’d like a new challenge but what if roz moved here for hollander?

↳↳↳@seriouslyserious: oh? well that’s an interesting theory? idk if i fully buy it but i see where you’re coming from. either way…around 2018 right? 🧐

↳↳↳↳@xxilyaxx: yeah around 

Wholesome Twin @shanesfreckles

I remember in early January, literally four days after the plane incident, Hollander posted a quote from When Harry Met Sally. This quote to be exact: “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” Do you think they got engaged then? I mean the line is very much a marriage proposal.

|

@shaneshine24: hold on! i remember this and being shocked ‘cos hollander posted sth personal and then a few minutes later roz posted that he’s watching the same film…do you think?

|

@ilyasnips: woah woah woah the idea that they were already together during the Cens’ plane incident and then maybe Hollander being so scared of losing Roz that he proposed almost immediately after? oh god

@hockeygurlz: i have the sudden urge to hoard Metros Hollander jerseys 👀

|

@hollanovnation: huh?

↳@hockeygurlz: just got a feeling…

↳↳@hollanovnation: ykw i will secure myself a couple just in case...even though it’s fuck the metros over here in my household (me and my cat in small apartment)

*******

Hockey News ✅ @hockeynews7 

4-2 again! The New York Admirals secured their ECF spot as they prevailed over the Washington Centres. New York also took six games to move on from Carolina. Watch the highlights here: [Link] #MLHPlayoffs2021

|

@abossinBOS: BRUH WHAT WHY IS MARLEAU WEARING VAUGHN’S JERSEY

|

@mildred: HUH WHAT

|

@hockeygurlz: Me: Oh nice, intense game! Wow look at that stick handling. Damn Andersson is doing so well as a goalie. Aww the SAPs! Wait…is that…CLIFF MARLEAU????????

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

Where did Marleau and Vaughn even come from???

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

I’m looking at receipts and they weren’t even hiding??????????? How did none of us see this???

|

@hollaatyourander: okay well I found ONE user who spotted these two and for the longest time was the only one who posted about them 

↳@OTTeroos: omg you all were so distracted with Hollanov lol

↳↳@hollaatyourander: which you also said you were not surprised by?

↳↳↳@OTTeroos: oh yeah, my family’s got a cottage across the lake from Hollander’s and uhhhh let’s just say I stopped kayaking too far from my family’s side of the lake. My eyes haven’t recovered…

↳↳↳↳@hollaatyourander: on one hand, so sorry. on the other hand, im jealous 😩

↳↳↳↳↳@seriouslyserious: Wait so the ship name for Marleau and Vaughn is Varley?

↳↳↳↳↳↳@OTTeroos: idk it had a nice ring to it. i took it upon myself because no one else online was seeing what im seeing at the time 😆

Jamie Bass @jamie.bass

A lot of their dates are just them being out and about in NYC and Boston? Hello New Yorkers and Bostonians??? Why did no one tell us?

|

@lovergirlxoxo: idk about Boston but as a New Yorker…we don’t care? We’re so gay (umbrella term) over here 😀

|

@tristan1717: look. i live in NYC and i know we have a hockey team. But WHO is in the team? i have no clue at all except for the Hunter guy ‘cos I’m always at his and his buddy’s bar.

|

@fatima7:  I mean, #loveislove man it’s 2021 let people be gay if they want to damn. but also when the whole Hollanov thing was unravelling, we kind of finally got our answer why Roz moved to Ottawa. No fucking way are we going to scare Marley and make him leave for New York lol 

Chloe Bates 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @chloeloeloe

Move over Hollanov! Varley’s here to take your spot!

Hockey on 3! @hockeypucks123

I still don’t understand how we missed all of this. Like looking at their followers, there’s a healthy crossover between Admirals and Raiders members? Cliff is somehow besties now with Kip???

[screenshots of the followers list and of Cliff’s post on a brunch with Kip, mimosas in hand. The second one was cheekily captioned with ‘Naughty brunch while our men work hard to beat Washington 🥂’]

|

@hollanovnation: Why is WAG/SAP Cliff such a good vibe? Ugh i love how amazing this all is

↳@rex123: loool i just know the homophobes in the sport are seething knowing all the queers are protected by the fans. just look at mtl rn

Sam Mitchell @sammyhockey

All these gays! hockey is overrun by the Gays!

|

@shaneshine24: five people came out this season out of more than 700 players and bro thinks there’s a sudden gay influx in the league. We don’t even know if they’re all actually gay 😩

↳@mildred: lol gay influx. what a great band name

ASDF G. HJKL the third @asdfghjklIII

I’m still processing the whole Hollanov of it all and here comes Varley out of nowhere 

|

@sheilasellsseashellsbytheseashore: apparently NOT out of nowhere. we’ve all just been too preoccupied…

rawr means i love you in dinosaur (˶>⩊<˶) @asdfghjkl12345678

I see @boiziau16 commenting on their posts a lot. What do you know Jean-Jacques…

|

@boiziau16: ASW, I was chatting up a pretty woman at the bar and the next thing I know those two were all up at each other. Shrugged my shoulders and continued talking to the woman, turned around only to find that THEY LEFT ME.

↳@cliffmarleau7: you were too busy flirting! didn’t want to disturb you

↳↳@boiziau16: mon ami, i very much doubt i was on your mind at that exact moment 😏

↳↳↳@cliffmarleau7: 

↳↳↳↳@asdfghjkl12345678: WHAT IS HAPPENING

*******

Hockey News ✅ @hockeynews7 

The New York Admirals are your 2021 Eastern Conference Champions! Up next: Will the Admirals commandeer the ice straight to the Cup or will the Blizzards sweep the Cup away? Tune in next week! #MLHPlayoffs2021 #StanleyCupFinals2021 #NYCvsCOL

*********

Calvin Klein ✅ @calvinklein 

👀🌈

[a teaser video, 10 seconds long: It was an empty room, with only some lighting equipment seen at a distance from the camera. A door can be heard opening and closing and then somebody comes into view. He can only be seen from the waist to his thighs and it is also revealed that he’s shirtless, wearing only white boxers. The white band of the boxers shows the words Calvin Klein in black, though some letters were hidden by his arms. “Here?” he asks. The camera then switches angles so the person is now in front of them. His waist to mid-thighs can also be seen but now the focus is on the middle of the band as it shows the word PRIDE written in rainbow colours. The camera zooms out, revealing a gray backdrop and white flooring. It also shows the rest of the person’s muscular upper body, showing black shoulder-length hair styled to look more trendy. Notably, another man is on the floor, lying down with his legs arranged so he can rest his arm on his knee while his other elbow is supporting his upper body weight. No faces but from what little can be seen, the other man is wearing black boxers and has a head of light brown curls. “Da,” the other man answers. Cut. The words ‘Calvin Klein’ shows in white on a black screen and, in all caps and bigger, PRIDE in rainbow colours beneath it. Smaller than the other two and in white, are the numbers 06.08.2021]

Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

Shane is a cutie pie @shaneyshimmeringsplendid

EXCUSE ME CALVIN KLEIN??? EXCUSE ME???

Anna Diaz @annadiaz11

HOLLANOV FOR CK PRIDE??? HOLLANOV???

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

that was only a teaser video and it’s already 🥵🥵🥵

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

OH HOLY SHIT WHAT

rawr means i love you in dinosaur (˶>⩊<˶) @asdfghjkl12345678

i have two weeks…i need to write my will cos i sure wont survive the drop then

Shane said hi to me that one time @hollaatyourander

Shane’s thighs??? Shane’s back??? 

Rumi talks puck @hockeygurlz

ok i love all of this but why does it look like they’re about to shoot a porno 😭

Not Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter @applemartini

They saw #Varley taking the spotlight away from #Hollanov and reminded all of us who the hotter couple is

June 2021

Chloe Bates 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @chloeloeloe

Happy Calvin Klein ad drop day to those who celebrate!

Any and every news about our favourite couple @ShaneandIlyaUpdates

🚨🚨it’s here it’s here it’s here!!!🚨🚨

[photos from Calvin Klein’s Instagram page

1: Shane and Ilya with their arms on each other’s shoulders as they smiled widely. Shane’s head was leaning on Ilya’s shoulder as he took the hem of Ilya’s shirt in his mouth. This caused Ilya’s abs to show. Shane is also holding the hem of his own shirt to showcase his abs. The rainbow-coloured, in gradient style, bands of their Calvin Klein underwear can be clearly seen above their jeans.

2: Ilya has his back turned to the camera but his face is turned to the side, giving the audience a lovely profile. He’s shirtless and his arms are up with one resting on his head. This showcased his muscular back, one that would be saved either by medical students or their professors and used to revise for identifying back muscles. The jeans he’s wearing has a CK stitching on the right pocket in rainbow colours. 

3: A full body shot of Ilya who is, once again, shirtless. He’s wearing a white Calvin Klein short shorts with the CALVIN in bold and in rainbow colours running down the left leg. He’s holding a hockey stick in one hand while the other is on his waist adding to the sassy vibe of the photo. He’s wearing white shoes and long white socks and the words CK x Pride on each sock.

4: Shane, on the floor, in a Canadian tuxedo. The denim jacket is open, revealing he does not have a shirt under. The button of the jeans are undone and the zippers are unzipped, very daringly revealing skin in that area. In rainbow colours, the word Calvin is on the right chest area of the denim jacket and the word Klein is on the left.

5: Shane, wearing a white sleeveless shirt and white boxer briefs, laying on the floor, half-propped up on a beanbag chair. He’s looking at the camera, all sultry. The white sleeveless shirt has the big letters CK right smack in the middle of the chest and the words Calvin Klein are layered on top of the initials. The letters are embroidered in a rainbow-gradient effect.

6: Shane and Ilya, shirtless in a gym setting. Ilya is sitting down while Shane is behind him. Both are showing off their biceps and mean mugging the camera while the band of their Calvin Klein boxers can be seen peeking out of their jeans. Ilya’s bands are pink, purple, and blue while Shane’s is in rainbow.]

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

The way they’re almost allergic to shirts in this photoshoot….

|

@shaneshine24: I mean if my body looks like that, I, too, would be allergic to shirts

|

@hollanovnation: sssshhhh let me have this

Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

oh ok so they don’t want me to keep breathing ig

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

im dead

this is heaven and im dead

24 ♥️ 81 @hollanovisr3al

no words just 🤤🤤🤤

Pearl believes in Hollanov @hollanovsupremacy

HOLLANOV WE ARE SO UP LIKE NEVER BEFORE

#24 has bewitched me body and soul @hollzy4hallzy

holy shit the assault never stops 

Shane said hi to me that one time @hollaatyourander

gnawing at the bars of my enclosure looking at these pics and videos

Anna Diaz @annadiaz11

Rumi talks puck @hockeygurlz

wait so what was the teaser for??? like what photo required them to film that teaser like a porno?

Been giving and now I get to receive @cens12345

oh no they’re really hot together

|

@hollanovnation: you didn’t think so?

↳@cens12345: i mean…in theory yes but like…seeing this???

Greatest Love Machine 81 @rahrahrozanov

of course it’s all sold out 😭 but here are the other photos from the website!

[photos from Calvin Klein’s website

1: Ilya, in rainbow-striped boxer briefs, one foot halfway through a leg of the jeans he’s holding. The picture was sideways, showing the grooves and planes of his muscles and ass. He’s looking down at what he was doing, causing his curls to frame his face nicely.

2: Shane in that same shirtless white shirt and white boxer briefs, stretching, perfectly showing off his muscles.

3: Ilya, in a white denim jacket, white jeans, black shoes, and sunglasses. The jacket is open to reveal a black shirt with CK Pride in the middle of the chest in rainbow. One of his hands was on his waist to show off the top properly.

4: Shane, in a cream coloured light sweater, denim shorts, and stylish men’s sandals. The words PRIDE was embossed across the chest area, making it a perfect silhouette for the much smaller CK in the middle. His hands are in the pockets of the shorts.

5: Shane and Ilya in white baby tees. Both are wearing distressed cutoff denim shorts that ended a bit higher than mid-thigh but Shane’s is black while Ilya’s is in the regular blue ones. Ilya is wearing the CK white sneakers and non-descript white knee-length socks. Shane is wearing the black CK ankle-high combat boots. The baby tees have the expected brand name across its chest but is a silhouette against a box rainbow-gradient background on the chest. Shane is slightly in front of Ilya, arms crossed, solid stance and mean-mugging the camera. Ilya has one arm around Shane’s shoulders, his other hand’s thumb in one of his belt loops and his stance is more playful, emphasised by his face showing Rozanov: ragebaiter pro max on ice.]

*******

Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

so the ad drop yesterday just blew my mind and i thought i should go out today and touch some grass…HOWEVER

[photo of a massive CK billboard outside an office building: Shane and Ilya with their arms on each other’s shoulders as they smiled widely. Shane’s head was leaning on Ilya’s shoulder as he took the hem of Ilya’s shirt in his mouth. This caused Ilya’s abs to show. Shane is also holding the hem of his own shirt to showcase his abs. The rainbow-coloured, in gradient style, bands of their Calvin Klein underwear can be clearly seen above their jeans.]

|

@hollanovnation: i had the same idea as you but as i waited for the bus…

[photo of a bus-stop sized CK poster, same as the massive one. A lady can be seen passing by, though she wasn’t identifiable. Her head stayed on the poster even though she was quite a few ways away from it.]

|

@dancepuppet: look…i am halfway across the world and…

[photo of the same poster, displayed outside a massive CK store somewhere in Asia.]

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

First they tease us with their relationship. Then, they show how in love they are. And now? Now they’re showing off how fucking hot they are and how none of us will ever get a chance ever again!!!

🏒24🏒 ily @shanehollanderdefender

STOP i need to breathe!!! i have responsibilities!!!

The Elsa who does NOT let it go @hockeygirl24

i knew they’re hot but there’s something about them together in this ad that’s just 🥵🥵🥵

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

hi yes i want to know how many times they left the shoot to f— (i was then shot 81 times)

|

@hollanovnation: i just know that this happened and you should be able to say it

Rumi talks puck @hockeygurlz

everyday that passes by without an explanation for what photo made it possible for that teaser video to be filmed, i am more convinced that those got too hot for each other and [redacted]

|

@hollanoving: no ‘cos i know damn well you’re right

*******

Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer

[translated from Russian] Happy birthday to my heart, my soul, my everything ❤️

[photo from a slightly lower angle. Ilya is jokingly taking a big bite out of his big chocolate cake while staring at the camera while Shane is looking at Ilya with love in his eyes.]

*******

Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

oh god a week ago these two showed hotness to a scale i have never seen before and now they’re back to being sweet and soul crushingly in love??? oh the duality of men

Chelsea says yes! @chelsontheroad 

im so single. last week these two made me feel so horned up i answered an old situationship’s text. and now they’re so disgustingly in love im out here crying over a tub of ice cream thinking about how i’ll never find someone like this 😩🫩

|

@shaneshine24: not the situationship link up 😭

Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

omg they’re so in loveeeee

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

my heart? my soul?? my everything??? if he isnt like this i dont want him

Sheila Marie @sheilasellsseashellsbytheseashore

i woke up today not realising that two hockey players would immediately raise my dating standards through the roof wow

Shane said hi to me that one time @hollaatyourander

so like these two are the same ones who posted ‘to the one who has my heart’ and ‘my heart my soul my everything’???

[screenshot of Shane and Ilya in baby tees up on the Calvin Klein website]

*******

Hockey News ✅ @hockeynews7 

New York in five! The New York Admirals are your 2021 Stanley Cup Champions! #StanleyCupFinals2021

*******

Admirals Fan | SKip kiss | MLH is gay now @bebop

LET’S GO NEW YORK!!! 

Very Normal Hockey Fan @hockeygetinme

AHHHH THE POWER OF QUEER LOVE!!! 

ADMIRALS | SEVENTEEN | 911 | SB19 @pokie1122

I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT AAAAAHHHHHH

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

NOT A DRILL!!! VARLEY IS KISSING ON ICE!

[screen recording of Carter and Cliff kissing on ice as their teammates and families celebrate around them. It was a sweet kiss that definitely involved tongue at some point.]

|

@mildred: I still can’t fucking believe we missed these two flirting and dating out in the open

↳@OTTeroos: I didn’t 🙂

↳↳@mildred: we didn’t have the information you have!

↳↳↳@OTTeroos: it’s literally right there, on their social media, each post gets at least more than 5k likes and no one thought to say anything online 😩

|

@hockeygurlz: Varley, I have grown so fond of you

↳@hockeygurlz: but not too fond that i wont be salty if Marleau moves for love

|

@fx.223_: if i’ve got a nickel everytime i see old men hockey yaoi on my feed this season, i would have 2.5 nickels. which is not a lot of money but wild that it happened twice

↳@livlaughlove: 2.5? 

↳↳@fx.223_: rozanov and hollander (1), vaughn and marleau (1), and hunter (.5)

↳↳↳@livlaughlove: ok pause: 1. why are you only giving hunter a .5? 2. why are you calling vaughn and marleau old when they are both 32??? 3. both rozanov and hollander just turned 30???

↳↳↳↳@fx.223_: well hunter’s husband is younger than him so idk if he counts (also he doesn’t play hockey…), and once you’re past 29 you are no longer young to me (why i didnt count barrett here ‘cos he’s still youthful to me at 25)

↳↳↳↳↳@livlaughlove: your math fascinates me, how old are you even?

↳↳↳↳↳↳@fx.223_: 18

↳↳↳↳↳↳↳@livlaughlove: oh god you are a child to me bye

↳↳↳↳↳↳↳↳@fx.223_: you are only 3 years older than me???

July 2021

ESPN ✅ @ESPN

Breaking: Hollander signs with OTT. Read more here: [Link]

Been giving and now I get to receive @cens12345

HOLY SHIT

Sticking by this team @CensCensCens

WE ARE SO GETTING THE CUP BESTIES!!!

Chloe Bates 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @chloeloeloe

I just know all hockey teams let out a collective fuck out loud

Porter Wells @WellthatsaPorterpotty

Freak of Natures #1 and #2 out here being a nightmare…in one team

|

@hollanovnation: freak of nature? are you being homophobic? 🤨

↳@WellthatsaPorterpotty: oh no no this is about them being insanely good at hockey it’s not normal at all

↳↳@hollanovnation: 

Petrols has my heart @edmontonman

how is ottawa so stacked now

Shane said hi to me that one time @hollaatyourander

mlh players now and every night before a game against the cens (or metros)

TWICE||CENS||SPN||SB19 @fangirlonthemain

i swear i can feel every goalie frantically texting and threatening their teammates to do a better job cos no way will they see their lives flash before their eyes every game against cens now

|

@hockeygurlz: i checked your likes and cackled at the amount of goalies who liked this hahahahaha

CENs the beginning @solidCENs

have we ever considered the true winner here is Wyatt Hayes who doesn’t need to keep a puck away from Hollander/Hollanov any more?

[Wyatt Hayes liked this tweet]

|

@shaneshine24: i mean he has to do it for practice? i feel like that would be equally hard.

↳@solidCENs: yes but by doing so, he gets more practice stopping impossible goals…which would also make the rest of the league’s goals easier to stop in comparison

↳↳@shaneshine24: holy shit you’re right: Wyatt Hayes, the true winner of the 21-22 season

[Wyatt Hayes liked this tweet]

Mia wants to play hockey @getthepuck

METROS YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

Montreal Fanboy Certified | Unless Thierault and Pelletier leave @montycarlo 

hey my mom said we can burn metros jerseys outside the metros org offices if your mom can pick us up later

Just a girl standing in front of the rink shouting GET IT IN THE NET @hockeylovergirl

*******

CTV News Montreal ✅ @CTVNewsMTL 

Protests have erupted outside Bell Centre as Montreal Metros fans demand resignation of head coach and GM amidst Hollander move announcement. Read more here: [Link]

Admirals Fan | SKip kiss | MLH is gay now @bebop

Gotta say it, no one’s doing it like the Metros fans! They’re passionate and the whole world will know about it!

Bobcats on 3! @floridafan1234

Crazy to protest about sports management decisions. Crazier still is making decisions that led to this 🤪

Shane is a cutie pie @shaneyshimmeringsplendid

Look, we’ll never know the full extent of what happens behind closed doors in this league but the fact that Shane “Mr I would like to retire as a Metro” Hollander LEFT? Something happened that can not be contained in those rooms anymore.

Christy ᜊ( ' ⩊ ' )ᜊ @christyyyy

okay take this with a grain of salt (i am) but i overheard a person who may or may not be from the MLH HQ talking. They’re unsurprised with the recent turn of events and apparently, have been told by Crowell to ‘be nicer’ to Hollander way back in 2018 and then again in February. Metros org didn’t listen so Crowell made it a point to be very very neutral about this.

|

@hockeygetinme: I call bs, no way is Crowell, guy who kicked out Baldwin and Lundin after they came out, okay with Hollander and Rozanov being part of the LGBTQIA+ community

↳@christyyyy: well with the way the talk was going, it seemed like Crowell wasn’t 100% enthusiastic about this either. more like ✨capitalism✨ talk to me

↳↳@hockeygetinme: yes this makes more sense

|

Elliott @eli2312012: overheard? yeah right you’re just making stuff up

↳@christyyyy: look, you don’t have to believe me but the MLH has an HQ here in Montreal and I may or may not be working near their offices

|

@BethMarch: ahhh i mentioned this before to another user here but basically whispers around me (idk how true and i have no way of checking) said Cens owners went to bat for Roz and Hollander that pretty much convinced Crowell to back tf up. no idea about their ulterior motives but if it got us here, then im happy lols

*******

Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockeyplayer 

Montreal, you have opened your arms to me as a wide-eyed 18-year-old kid, eager to get on the ice and sink his first goal in the net. It wasn’t always easy but it had never been hard to love you. Your passion fuelled me on days I was running on fumes and I hope the results over the years were enough to even measure up to an ounce of the support you have given me. 

It was not an easy decision – if you asked that 18-year-old what his plans were, he would say, with conviction, that he will retire as a Metro. And that has been true over the years. But chapters, unfortunately, come to an end so that we may open to a new one. 

As I embark on this new chapter of my life, I am excited to spend the rest of my life at home and with family, years after being apart. To wake up next to Ilya every morning, to regularly negotiate with Anya on her bath time, and to be closer to my parents who have always been there through thick and thin.

But it is with sadness that I am saying goodbye to Montreal. I will always look at the stands wistfully when I return as a guest starting next season. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

À tantôt, Montréal.

[photo 1: Shane as a rookie, decked out in his Montreal gear.

photo 2: first cup team photo

photo 3: second cup team photo

photo 4: third cup team photo

photo 5: Shane with JJ and Hayden on ice, all in Montreal gear]

*********

#24onsweepingduty @MTLgirlie

I’m so emotional with what Hollander wrote in his statement 😭 It’s really true, he’s leaving us 🙁

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

Hollander being secretly petty is one of my most favourite thing in the world. he made sure to include the photo with the Cups to remind the org of what they lost 🤪

|

@hockeygurlz: “well here’s me with the first, second, and third Cups! Guess which team is getting them now!”

|

@shanehollanderdefender: i especially love the last photo to emphasise who was there for Shane. “you all suck except these two!”

Chloe Bates 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @chloeloeloe

Okay but peep that line about “As I embark on this new chapter of my life, I am excited to spend the rest of my life at home and with family, years after being apart”. Is this an implication that he’s been with Rozanov for years?

|

@rahrahrozanov: I’m not sure about the implication you’re talking about but I think the consensus is that no way did they just start their relationship recently. There’s got to be at least a year they’ve been together before getting engaged. If we’re adding your theory, there’s got to be at least two years to make it plural…unless he’s only talking about his parents?

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

I just read Hollander’s statement and he said “wake up next to Ilya (!!!) every morning” and he said “new chapter”…they were engaged since January (that we know of? idk). Is the bigger implication here that they now have made it official and they are married now?

|

@shaneshine24: hold your horses! i see your point but maybe Roz has been considered family since the engagement? or since they got together? and the new chapter is a reference to the ottawa move?

Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

“As I embark on this new chapter of my life, I am excited to spend the rest of my life at home and with family, years after being apart. To wake up next to Ilya every morning, to regularly negotiate with Anya on her bath time, and to be closer to my parents who have always been there through thick and thin” DON’T TOUCH ME IM FRAGILE RN!

Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

All I’m hearing is that there’s a possibility that Shane and Ilya got married this summer and none of us knew about it!

|

@xxilyaxx: They saw Varley be sneaky and copied the moves

↳@mildred: once again: Varley was not being sneaky. We all just didn’t pay attention to one of the hottest couples unfolding before our very eyes!

|

@hollaatyourander: I so badly want to see the wedding photos and all but I also know they deserve their privacy 😩

↳@hollanovnation: life of a fangirl amirite?

Dose of Vitamin #24 @shanehollandershoe

This is Mr and Mr Hollander-Rozanov 😌

[photo of Shane and Ilya during Shane’s birthday]

Anya Hollander-Rozanova is my president @AnyaRozanovaFanClub

“They’re married! They’re not!” okay well I need to know how Anya feels finally having married parents???

ASDF G. HJKL the third @asdfghjklIII

A more pressing issue is what will their last names be on the ice? Imagine the announcers keep saying Hollander-Rozanov over and over again? 

|

@rahrahrozanov: Both of them score and assist so fast, the announcers won’t even get to finish saying their full name before the play is moving on…

↳@CensCensCens: we prayed for the rest of the league for the next season when the true victims are the announcers trying to keep up with the play AND saying hollander-rozanov over and over 😔

|

@hollanovdefenseattorney: you are so right, these are the things we should be thinking about Mx. HJKL The Third

*******

Hockey News ✅ @hockeynews7 

MLH Shakeup: Montreal Metros’ Head Coach Thierault and GM Pelletier resign days after Metros fans protested and started boycotts against the organisation. Discussions on their replacements and more here: [Link]

Mia wants to play hockey @getthepuck

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD

Porter Wells @WellthatsaPorterpotty

when i grow up i want to be as passionate as the Metros fans and get shit done

|

@hollaatyourander: your bio says you’re 40?

↳@WellthatsaPorterpotty: and????

The Elsa who does NOT let it go @hockeygirl24

FUCKING FINALLY! 

Shane is a cutie pie @shaneyshimmeringsplendid

They felt that wallet getting thinner huh

Metros Till I Die | Currently questioning Metros decisions @metroooosss

|

@MTLgirlie: idk how free we are…hollander is gone and no one will likely get the cup again with rozanov in the same team as him

↳@metroooosss:

My client is innocent! @ilyarozanovsagent

oooohhhh ik the rest of the orgs (except ottawa who has been making excellent decisions lately) are looking at the metros fiasco and shaking!!!

|

@shaneshine24: the power of the people!!!

|

@2481forever: i heard from my cousin in toronto that the moment they even entertain k3nt, maples fans are doing the same as the metros fans

|

@hockeygurlz: hockey fans across the league are looking at their teams like “try to make stupid decisions now 🔪”

Shane said hi to me that one time @hollaatyourander

guys like…ik this is about sports but look at what we can do when we organise and mobilise  👀👀👀 

*******

Carter Vaughn ✅ @c_vaughny

My turn to be a SAP

[photo 1: Carter on the stands with the other partners, as Cliff and other players can be seen in the background preparing for camp.

photo 2: Carter and some of the partners from photo 1 out on brunch.]

|

@fatima7: wait you’re the one who won a cup, why are you not out there coaching?

↳@c_vaughny: unfortunately, I am only here for two days and then the Vaughn cousins have a scheduled summer trip for the rest of the camp days 😢

August 2021

All About Sports Gossip! @SportsMoi 

Anon follower send-in: Caught up with Barrett (OTT) as hockey camp ends and asked who will be in the wedding party for Hollanov. Dude just looked at me and said “Will be? The wedding already happened! You guys missed it.” Boyfriend Harris (OTT Comms) comes out of the building just in time to hear what Barrett said, laughed, and dragged him away.

*******

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

I don’t want to engage but whaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttttttt

HOLLANOV NATION RISE UP! @shaneilya

what does he mean the wedding happened??? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? HELLO

Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

THEY ARE MARRIED???

Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh

Anna Diaz @annadiaz11

#HollanovReal #HollanovForever 

Shane’s Freckles | Shane’s Abs | Shane’s Nips @thirstingfor24 

wait how sure are we??? maybe barrett was joking? sometimes men just say stuff

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

HIS STATEMENT!!! HIS STATEMENT SAYS THIS ASDGJGDKFSGHJKL

*******

All About Sports Gossip! @SportsMoi 

Lots of Hollanov send-ins for this week!

|

Anon follower send-in 1: Ran into Boodram (OTT - A) while on a holiday in Italy (his kid’s so cute btw and his wife’s so hot 🥵) and asked about the Hollanov wedding: Oh yeah, it’s already happened. It’s an intimate wedding and just full of love! I just wished there were chairs.

|

Anon follower send-in 2: Hiking the Swiss Alps and who do I run into at a rest stop but Luca Haas (OTT)! Dude’s super nice and gamely talked to me and my friend about last season. Finally got the courage towards the end to ask about the Hollanov wedding and he showed me a couple of drawings he did: one of the grooms exchanging vows and the other was of Anya with a princess tiara on her cute head, being hugged by kids (Pike’s?). Did not take photos of the drawings because those are obviously private and we were lucky enough to even have a glimpse but the wedding happened y’all!!! And from Haas’ sketches, it was absolutely beautiful!

|

Anon follower send-in 3: I live in the same town as Boiziau’s (MTL) parents and he was here a week ago to spend time with them. Kept seeing him around town grabbing coffee and running errands. Finally got the nerve to chat with him when it took the new barista a while to get our coffee orders made one morning. Dude’s genuinely funny and a riot. Then, I asked about Varley and he thought everyone missing it because they were so distracted with Hollanov was so funny. Even Varley thought the whole thing was strange: here they were hard launching and no one…cared? Anyway, then I asked about THE wedding and he said it’s so beautiful, people cried during the vows. He told me to tell everyone that Pike (MTL - A) cried the most and not him, no matter what Pike says.

*******

Chloe Bates 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @chloeloeloe

what is that about no chairs at the Hollanov wedding??? where the heck did they get married???

|

@hollanovnation: i absolutely refuse to think a venue would just…forget about the chairs? do you think they got married at home???

↳@chloeloeloe: the idea that these two are so jock-coded they didn’t think about chairs for their wedding is sending me.

↳↳@shaneshine24: they obviously got married this summer and it was a hot summer here in ottawa this year so imagine you’re sweating buckets in a suit on a hot summer day and there were no chairs??? idc if this is THE hockey wedding of the year im going home 😩

Shane said hi to me that one time @hollaatyourander

all those millions and no chairs 

Been giving and now I get to receive @cens12345

why am i seeing all these run-ins with the Cens lol. I live in Ottawa and just when I’m desperate to ask one of them about THEEEE wedding, no one is around me! 

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

ok ok ok ok ok so it happened??? cool cool cool cool cool

Your honour they’re in love! @hollanovers

Rumi talks puck @hockeygurlz

“see babe! Hollanov didn’t have chairs in their wedding! we can cross it off the budget!!!” - a man getting ready to say this to their partner and is about to get a very mean look at the least

|

@juliewuzhere: girl don’t scare me. i love my hockey-obsessed fiancé so much and we’re planning our wedding right now. if he tells me this im gonna have to break up with him 

↳@hockeygurlz: well for your sake i hope he doesn’t 😅

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

waitttt so in september 2021, the league will officially have husbands playing together??? 🥹

Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

THE FIRST HUSBANDS OF HOCKEY IS HERE!!!!

Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

omg i need to make sure i have season passes! where i will get the money as a broke college student??? who the fuck knows!!!

|

@annadiaz11: lol same. anyone need a kidney or…?

↳@hollanovsh00ter: i was thinking more like picking up extra shifts at work but ok i think your method works too?

Wholesome Twin @shanesfreckles

gonna have to think of perfect Hollanov memes to bring to the games!!!

Evil Twin @ilyasnips

and im organising a (s)hit list on the homophobes cos us hollanovers will be there every game like

[QT of @shanesfreckles: gonna have to think of perfect Hollanov memes to bring to the games!!!)

|

@xxilyaxx: how are you two twins???

OTT #11 you fascinate me @Haasyfanclub

i would like to see Luca’s drawing!!! praying that i get to see them in this lifetime

*********

All About Sports Gossip! @SportsMoi 

Some Varley in this week’s batch!

|

Anon follower send-in #1: Spotted #Varley here in Curaçao! Didn’t want to take photos as they’re obviously having their private time but they’re so in love 😍

|

Anon follower send-in #2: Was at the airport going back to Boston and Marleau (BOS - A) was seated next to me. Asked him about his thoughts on the Varley ship name and he was cool with it but did ask why couldn’t it be Marleaughn or Clifter? Told him I’d workshop it with the Internet and he just laughed.

*******

Sh*tposting my way through life @OTTeroos

We love Varley in this house 🙂‍↕️

|

@asdfghjkl12345678: or marleaughn or clifter…

↳@OTTeroos: i love those two and me, the originator of Varley, will even stop calling them that if they wish. BUT!!! if they ask me to call them clifter………………

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

im still wondering how those two started

|

@c_vaughny: well i’ll tell you 

↳@livlaughlove: 

↳↳@c_vaughny: met at ASW properly for the first time and there were sparks for sure. Sat across Rozanov and Hollander as they bickered like an old married couple (a select few of us knew about them at this point…) Then, those two left us to do god knows what (spoiler alert: we know). The three of us ended up at a club where we got to dancing and uhhh the sparks got brighter. Left Boiziau to his flirting and well we’re here now 😀

↳↳↳@boiziau16: 🤨 is ‘sparks got brighter’ the new codename for ‘we were grinding at each other and making out like teenagers’?

↳↳↳↳@cliffmarleau7: 🤫

Sierra Saves @seriouslyserious

Varley out here being the opposite of Hollanov with a quick tell-all.

|

@bebop: and Boiziau exposing the two horndogs…

↳@hockeygurlz: have you seen marleau? have you seen vaughn? yeah.

*******

All About Sports Gossip! @SportsMoi 

This week’s send-ins are definitely interesting! Love that sportsmen are becoming more true to themselves ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Anon follower send-in #1: Heard from the grapevine that some NBA players are sweet on each other too. Like those bro hang-outs? Not so bro-ey 🤪 but in all seriousness, they’re in love love.

Anon follower send-in #2: A couple in a men’s sports league ( ⚾) are reportedly engaged 👀 it will shock sports fans, especially ⚾, when it gets announced soon!

Anon follower send-in #3: Big news about to hit the world of men’s volleyball! So proud of our boys 🌈

September 2021

Hockey News ✅ @hockeynews7 

Ahead of the new season, Diana Tremblay-Wong sat down with Shane Hollander to discuss what he will miss most in Montreal, what he’s most looking forward to now that he’s in Ottawa, and what he hopes for his legacy. Watch the teaser below and don’t forget to tune in to Diana’s Take on Monday at 8:00 p.m. (ET) only on Hockey News Channel 7.

[video: Shane is sitting across from a journalist who is maybe ten to fifteen years older than him. They’re in a famous Ottawa family restaurant, sitting at a booth with the restaurant’s bestsellers in front of them. As his hand was on the table, a gold band can be seen on his ring finger. The video’s vibe is light and hopeful.

Diana: And for the first time, you are now in a team with your husband.

Shane: (chuckles) I mean the All-Star Game in 2017 was the first time Ilya and I were in a team together. It was exhilarating – we knew each other so well that we didn't have to think much where the other was on the ice – and I’ve never forgotten the feeling. But you’re right, this is the first time my husband and I are playing with and not against each other.]

*******

Shane + Ilya @24811434ever 

MARRIED! THEY ARE MARRIED!

Bailey is a 2481 shooter @hollanovsh00ter

lmaooo the parallel of Rozanov casually saying they were boyfriends back in March and Hollander saying they are now husbands is doing things to my brain that i cant even describe.

LIVe as a fangirl @livlaughlove 

2017??? hello????

|

@shaneshine24: i dont even think it started 2017. Hollander says “we knew other so well” by 2017…….so!!!

↳@hollanovnation: oh my god how does this raise more questions than answers

Chloe Bates 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯 @chloeloeloe

“We didn’t have to think much where the other was on the ice.” BRUH THE LEAGUE IS FUCKED WITH THEM ON THE SAME TEAM NOW RIP IN PEACE

|

@hollaatyourander: i will be blaming the metros for the nightmare they have brought down to everybody!!!

↳@CensCensCens: except Ottawa (✿◡‿◡)

↳↳@hollaatyourander: booooo get outta here

*******

Luca Haas ✅@LucaHaas_OTT 

With permission from the Hollander-Rozanovs 🥰

[scanned copy of his sketch from the wedding. It was black and white and the POV is from a few steps away but it is so detailed that the audience can see features clearly. The focus is obviously on the couple, standing in front of everyone. 

Ilya, on the right, is facing Shane. The two were holding each other’s hands, gold bands made to look glinting. They were both smiling, the love in their eyes was perfectly captured, and tears were definitely involved from the grooms.

Behind them is a house that the audience can assume is theirs. In front of the artist’s POV are people standing around to witness the wedding. Not one eye is dry. They’re all standing on grass showing this is the backyard.]

|

@annadiaz11: oh my god they really didnt have chairs

|

@Haasyfanclub: You’re so talented 😍

|

@hollanovnation: Boiziau you were crying so much lmaooooo 

↳@boiziau16: lies and slander! 

↳↳@hollanovnation: man the evidence is RIGHT THERE! 

*******

Ilya Rozanov ✅@irozanov81 and Shane Hollander ✅@shanehollanderhockeyplayer

🙌✨husbands ✨🙌

[photo of them, in black and white, in a slow-dance stance. They’re pressed against each other, both of their eyes are closed, and they’re smiling contentedly. The background suggests this was the after-party of their wedding, still in the backyard.]