Work Text:
Cecil feels like he's asphyxiating in his clean-cut suit and tie. He feels like the air here can't get to his lungs (which may be true; Night Vale's air, Carlos says, seems to be more rich in certain minerals and chemicals than most air.) He's going to die. He is so going to die.
"So, Carlos tells me that you're a radio host?" Carlos' mother says from across the table, and Cecil nods stiffly. "Oh. Well, that must be interesting work."
"It can be." Cecil replies, watching his words carefully, like he was reading one of the Sheriff's Secret Police or City Council's announcements. "I mostly just report boring old news stories; whatever's going on in town at the time. School functions, mayoral announcements, mysterious deaths and disappearances. Normal things like that."
Carlos' mother and father blink a few times, gaping, and Cecil knows he's messed up. "Just act normal." Carlos had told him when they had arrived from Night Vale. "They'll love you, I promise." Cecil had shook his head and sighed because "normal" was not something he could do. Despite not leaving Night Vale for most of his life, Cecil knew that it wasn't like other places, and people from Night Vale weren't like other people. Being normal-normal and Night Vale-normal were two different things, and Cecil could only manage the latter.
"I'm kidding," he backtracks with a smile. "About the deaths and stuff. Just… trying to make a joke. Apologies." And Carlos' parents expressions shift, and they're laughing, and Carlos' mother is patting her son on the leg and telling him what a nice boy he's brought home- "Good looking, funny, and polite! Couldn't ask for better."- and Carlos laughs and smiles at him in silent thanks for the lie and Cecil is forcing a nervous smile back, because he can't say how uncomfortable he is right now, not when Carlos looks so happy. Then Carlos' father launches into a story about Carlos' childhood and Cecil listens as best he can, laughs and nods in all the right places, and is thankful when Carlos excuses them. "Time we got going; it's a long ride back and Cecil's got work in the morning." and after several "goodbyes" they're finally outside and in the car, Cecil clawing off his tie as soon as the house is out of sight, and throwing his jacket off and unbuttoning a few of the buttons on his shirt and gasping for air and almost crying because god he can breath again, and Carlos is giving him a panicked look and… oh. Dear.
"I…" Cecil begins, but trails off and looks down at his lap, ashamed. "… I couldn't breath." he finished after awhile, and Carlos sighs.
"I know." he says, taking a hand off the steering wheel to scrub over his face. "Fuck, Cecil, I know. I could tell and I am so, so sorry that you had to sit there and lie the entire time. Are you okay?"
Cecil starts nodding, and pauses halfway through the motion. No. No, he is not okay because he just fucked up so badly and he wants to go back and do that all over again and not be such an awkward person and ruin this all for Carlos. Perfect Carlos and his Perfect Family who shouldn't have to have people like Cecil anywhere near them, tainting their Perfect Lives. "… I'm sorry." he says quietly instead, and oh no, Cecil's screwed up again because Carlos gives him this heart broken look.
"Sorry?" he asks, eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"
"Because I messed up. I talked about the deaths and the Faceless Old Woman and Hiram McDaniels and god why couldn't I just be normal for you for one night. I hid the tattoos and kept away the third eye but I just couldn't do it and I'm sorry!" Cecil sobs, almost screaming. "I'm sorry that you got me instead of a Equally Perfect Normal Person-" (Like the girl Carlos' brother married, or the man his sister was dating; Cecil saw the pictures in the hall and heard the stories) "- And I'm sorry that your parents had to see what a freak your boyfriend is, and-" Cecil can't breath again, and he's moving his mouth but can't speak, and he's wheezing and dizzy and oh god, not this too. On top of everything else, Cecil is going to have a panic attack. How lovely.
Carlos is pulling over now, a similar panic filling his eyes, and he's grabbing Cecil's shoulder and asking: "Cecil, Cecil, are you okay? Breath, Cecil, just breath for me baby." And Cecil wants to say it isn't okay, but he's still not to the breathing part which makes it a bit impossible, so he does what he normally does. He focuses on Carlos- the point of warmth where Carlos' hand is on his shoulder and Carlos' pleading voice and his scent and Cecil breaths. Deeply, like he was coming out of water, tears prickling at the edge of his vision and no, no, no! He's not doing that too; he isn't crying. But then Carlos is unbuckling and hugging him and he is; he's sobbing onto his boyfriend's shoulder and gasping for air, and Carlos is shushing him and rubbing his back and telling him that "It's okay, Cecil. It's okay; you're okay." And Cecil isn't, but he still can't speak to say that. There is so much Not Okay about Cecil in a world like this, where Carlos lived most of him life, and Cecil wonders how he can love someone like him.
When he can speak again, Cecil pulls away, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes and wiping away the tears that are still stubbornly falling. "I'm sorry." he says again, and Carlos shakes his head.
"Don't be. Cecil, you did nothing wrong."
"But, your parents-"
"My parents loved you." Carlos cut in. "And, even if they didn't, I love you. You're not a freak, and I have no idea where you got that idea from." Cecil snorts at that, but Carlos just keeps on going like he didn't hear (but, Carlos always hears. He's the best listener ever, as far as Cecil is concerned.) "I don't want a… what did you call it… an 'Equally Perfect Normal Person' or whatever because you are perfect, at least, to me."
"Carlos-"
"Cecil." Carlos said softly, taking his hand and giving him a small smile. "I. Love. You. Okay?"
Cecil sighed, and nodded. "Always. I love you, too."
"Good," Carlos said, starting the car again. "Maybe I could meet your parents someday, then."
"Oh, Carlos! I'd love that, and so would my mother. You're going to love her, I just know it- once you get past the tentacles she's lovely. And, I'll have to get the summoning charm so you can talk to dad, too…"